Details
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AboutUniversity student from Germany. Member of a CTF team
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SkillsPython, Java, C, C++, x86 asm, JS
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LocationGermany
Joined devRant on 11/4/2017
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10 Signs You Picked the Wrong ISP !!
10. Their company logo: two tin cans and a length of string.
9. You check out their address, and it's a phone booth containing a Compaq portable and an acoustic coupler.
8. Their chief technical officer lives in a 10-foot-by-7-foot shack in the woods.
7. Their proud boast: "We've been on the Internet since it was CB radio."
6. Their promo materials use the words "information" and "superhighway" in the same sentence.
5. You order an SLIP/PPP connection, e-mail, and 2MB of server space for your personal Web site, and the voice on the other end of the phone asks, "Would you like fries with that?"
4. "As seen in Better Business Bureau special reports."
3. "Access speeds up to 9,600 bps in most areas."
2. They hawk both domain names and Rolexes on street corners.
1. They charge by the word.2 -
!rant. Sometimes, trolling your fam is a lot of fun.
Just today my sister asked me how to type the character ÷ on her keyboard. I told her to press : and the - key and then just move it like so.
: -
: -
: -
:-
÷
See? Ez pz. She actually tried it and just said 'i cant, it erases everything'. And then all of my other siblings kept ranting the same thing. I forgot we were in group chat. And now its full of : and - spams. And im just here laughing my ass out.11 -
Excuse me boss!
During increment time
Boss : There are 50 bricks on an Plane. If u drop 1 outside. How many
are left?
Employee : That's easy, 49.
Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge
Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?
Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.
Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Employee : She crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday
Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?
Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...
Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the Plane that's the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!
Moral: If your boss has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed.19 -
A scammer called me today. They were saying that harmful files were moved to my computer and they needed to remove them. I don't think they are ever going to call me again.
S = scammer; M = me;
S: this is tech support we need access to your computer because we detected harmful files and need to remove them.
M: oh my! Hold on, let me go to my computer now. How can you access it?
S: we can just use RDP and delete the files. They are in a hidden folder that is encrypted so this Is the only way.
M: oh ok I believe you. Hm... it looks like my son only allows certain IP addresses to access our computers.. I don't know how to disable this so can you just email me your IP address?
S: Sure...
He then sends me his actual IP address... it doesn't even look like a proxy or VPN.
M: oh my I forgot that you need my password to login. It's really long and complicated... can I just email it to you?
S: Sure!!
I then tell him to hold on I have to find it that my "son" stored it somewhere.
At this time I'm taking a photo of my bare ass and attaching it to the email. I then say in the email "Please note what my job title is in my signature.. I just sent the FBI your name, phone number, email, and IP address. Please enjoy my bare ass, you'll see a lot of it in prison."23 -
I had a secondary Gmail account with a really nice short nickname (from the early invite/alpha days), forwarded to another of my mailboxes. It had a weak password, leaked as part of one of the many database leaks.
Eventually I noticed some dude in Brazil started using my Gmail, and he changed the password — but I still got a copy of everything he did through the forwarding rule. I caught him bragging to a friend on how he cracked hashes and stole and sold email accounts and user details in bulk.
He used my account as his main email account. Over the years I saw more and more personal details getting through. Eventually I received a mail with a plaintext password... which he also used for a PayPal account, coupled to a Mastercard.
I used a local website to send him a giant expensive bouquet of flowers with a box of chocolates, using his own PayPal and the default shipping address.
I included a card:
"Congratulations on acquiring my Gmail account, even if I'm 7 years late. Thanks for letting me be such an integral part of your life, for letting me know who you are, what you buy, how much you earn, who your family and friends are and where you live. I've surprised your mother with a cruise ticket as you mentioned on Facebook how sorry you were that you forgot her birthday and couldn't buy her a nice present. She seems like a lovely woman. I've also made a $1000 donation in your name to the EFF, to celebrate our distant friendship"31 -
Hi there fellas,
I'm new to devrant and I'll like to share with you my first story.
It was my first payed job. A good friend of mine (media designer in print) called me "My customer needs a website, do you think you can do that?"
At this time I've never build a single page, so my answer was "Of course, easy-peasy".
She told me it was a family business and a nationwide player in finance sector.
I met the CEO, did my research and build a prototype. Well, the CEO and his staff liked it so I finished the website and prepared for the first review.
I booted the laptop and tried to connect to their network. There was none. They just never had a wireless connection not a single cable in the entire office. That was the time I realized that I work for a family business.
The CEO was an ancient guy who probably saw Jesus Christ hanging on the cross in personal and internet is weird thing controlled by the devil himself.
I took the laptop and went over to the CEOs personal office, plugged the network cable out of his Computer and into the laptop. Finally I could show them what I've done.
He took a look at it and called for his assistant. "Might you print that website for us?" That was my second wtf moment.
The assistant returned with a half chopped down and bleached rainforest that contained an image of their new website.
I tried to tell him that a website on paper can't show him the functions n shit, but he looked at me like I was talking two foreign languages at once.
So we reviewed the website on paper and his one and only problem was the size of the letters. "I can't read it well, please make the text bigger" At this moment I wanted to hit my forehead on the table and tell him that it is normal to have readings difficulties when you are walking the shores of Styx.
At the end everything went well, but I realized that dealing with customers is a lot more difficult than developing something for them. The future should prove me right.
That's it.
My first story about my first job.
Thank you for reading 😊12 -
To register for Facebook's hacker cup.
Fuck you 1:
I need a Facebook account
Fuck you 2:
I need to enter my address and phone number mandatorily. Because they'll send me a t shirt if I win one. It's not like anyone would not win a t shirt or not want one right? So fucking slurp away at all their privacy data any way.
Here's my address for you facebook
No 666, fuck you street, privacypolis, fuckington offville.4 -
I usually don't get into competition, you know, because I don't feel that anyone needs to judge me the way I do what I do,
But I gave myself a competition to earn that gold 🏅 medal half way through my cs course, and now I've come to know that I've miserably failed,
> I feel a little depressed
> I feel a lot sad
> I want to get drunk but I can't, I live in dry state
To be really honest, I wanted to earn this medal to get some recognition, I want to cry really really hard but then what's the point
On the positive side I've got a job now, so that's there -
Long story short: University fucked up single sign on.
For every online service I have, I set a different password, randomly generated ~ 20 characters long. At our university we have multiple systems but they offer a single sign on service which is quite nice because it is so non-transparent which service now uses which authorization. I changed my password a while ago and around the same time they also updated our mail client. Since then I am not able to log in which is not a big deal for me because I have mail forwarding.
Yesterday however I needed another service and also got rejected with my password. I knew from a friend that the passwords are fucked up and that some services have different restrictions (only 12 chars max.), so I decided to search how to reset my password. What the fuck was wrong with these people? It takes you five different pages to get the tiniest bit of information how to reset the password. Then on one page you can login with your single sign on and change the password. On that page you can also set the single sign on password, but if you enter an invalid password (in respect of the the other services) guess what? No feedback that you just locked yourself out of half the systems. Nice job. Also the password requirements are not next to the input fields where you change the password. Noo. That would be way to easy, remember the little small one line on the wall of text three pages ago? There you go.
Ok step one done. Now it should work, shouldn't it? Ohh no not so fast. One needs to activate the seperate service. Where you ask? Perfectly fine question. On the top of page four is a fucking one line table which looks like some five year old had some fun in excel. The button which takes you to the activation page is nearly invisible because of the non existing contrast. Also it is not a button but some arrow pointer thingy. Behind set arrow you have a page listing all differnt kinds of services, the description which you find on page two btw. No padding to decipher this shit what so ever. Nearly on the bottom is your needed button. Yes finally.
Finally I want to login, no good. Try again. Still no good. Go back to the fucked up excel table look at my username and think to myself what's the difference here? The table is so small and again no margin or padding. Apparently they cut of the last character of my normal username which i have which is fucking ridiculous.
What is wrong with you people, we are a TECHNICAL UNIVERSITY, is it so hard for you to find someone decend to unify this shit?1 -
Didn't go to class on Friday cause some asshole broke into my car. Checked slack for my homework over the weekend before bed and...nothing.
Check slack 2 hours ago... huge project due in 7 hours... wtf slack thanks for no notification and updating my messages late as fuck...
Time to brew some coffee I guess.1 -
- Good evening, this is the support hotline for stupid questions, how may I help you?
- Hi, is this the support hotline for stupid questions?2 -
Boss hands over to me an old security audit report and tells me "Go through this and check if all the problems mentioned have been resolved". Quick glance through the report shows all expected issues - SQLi, plaintext transmission and storage etc. I tell him that I need access to the application both from admin and a user with restricted privileges.
He hands me the admin credentials and tells me, "After you login in, just go the "Users" tab. You'll find the profiles of all the users there. You can get the emails and passwords of any user you want from there."
I had to hold back a chuckle. There's nothing to verify. If they haven't resolved storing plain text passwords in the database (AND displaying it IN PLAIN TEXT in the website itself (which to my surprise wasn't mentioned in the audit)), they probably haven't even looked at the report.2 -
This feeling when you search for something on ddg, find StackOverflow answer that is working solution
+1
"You can't vote on your own post"
Damn, smart past me :D4 -
Too much stupid today..
Client: "Our server is almost full, fix it"
Me: "Okay, you can upgrade the VM, or I can see if theres anything that can be cleaned up?"
C: "Clean it up"
Me: *Finds 5 extra MySQL DB's that amount to 50-60GB in total*
Me: "Well I can remove some of your extra databases, and some of the local backups, as they're also backed up offsite. They're currently unused and dated back to the beginning of 2017, everything is out of date anyways."
C: "No"
Me: "Okay, is there a reason?"
C: "No"
Me: "Okay, so we'll upgrade the VM?"
C: "No"
Me: "I'm sorry, but those are really your two options"
C: "Just fix it"
...................
...................
...................
What in the ducking fuck !@#$#%?
If you're so fuggin smart, then why do they pay me?
I'm clearly stupid and unable to read your mind.21 -
Brothers and sisters... Some of you know this frustrating argument that I'm going to present you and please... please talk with me about this rant and how to get over this...
I'm a boy that finished a scientific bachelor degree and a master degree that didn't help me to find a job, I've tried every day for a year and was literally scammed two times by two companies. I hit rock bottom but didn't give up and decided to take another degree... In computer science. I'm a year short to end my bachelor's degree and I'm really happy of what I'm doing... But when I try to talk about that with my friends, about what I've learned and what I can do... They simply respond with "you can do that by just watching some YouTube videos, I can build an app/website/software just that easy"...and I argue with them by saying that you can build some of it but not with the complete fundamentals and with the real business patterns and development...
The worst part is... Some of my friends are computer scientist and they agree with this... "You don't need high grades or a degree to be on the market and build this stuff, you can't even imagine how bad programmers are there in this world working with high salaries"...
This is frustrating because they are just losing all the fundamentals... The need to know what we are doing while we are coding instead of just looking an example on YouTube and thinking that now they know it all...
These are the kind of people that can create apps or other kind of software with bugs or security breaches... And they dont care... They prefer to lower my all night study to be the most professional person I can be. I don't want to create anything just because "it's how the man/woman said in the video"...
This really suck. I'm really sorry to rant with such a basic commentary. But the discussion was heated... They prefer a person with internet without any knowledge in computer science over a computer scientist that must create an application without any help...
It saddens me because I believe we can be self learners and be successful, but having the help of experienced professionals to certificate you and give you a diploma for your ability to build projects is a must to initiate the journey to become the best developer/programmer you can be...
Thank you in advance rant friends, you are the best50 -
This site is fucking genius :
https://linux.pictures
Want to see more? There's a git with all the graphics :
https://github.com/jstpcs/lnxpcs7 -
At Job interview.
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Me: I see myself as the leader of a raider group, robbing and scavenging together pieces of what is left of the civilization in hopes to build a weapon powerful enough to take the world back from a rogue AI, which I built myself few years earlier.
Interviewer: What!?
Me: What?15 -
-Some run marathons, I run Python
-Some have energy drinks, I have Java
-Some fight in MMA, I fight with CSS
-Some see new places, I C new Places();
-Some are quick, I am Swift
-Some go camping, I Go Compiling
-Some can judge objectively, I can judge Objective-c
-Some climb mountains, I Scala Structures
-Some live adventurous lives, I live a BASIC one
-Some go ball, I COBOL
-Some watercolor, I Pascal
-Some look for diamonds and emeralds, I look for Ruby and Perl
-Some write novels, I TypeScript
-Some banter, I SmallTalk20 -
This is kind of a horror story, with a happing ending. It contains a lot of gore images, and some porn. Very long story.
TL;DR Network upgrade
Once upon a time, there were two companies HA and HP, both owned by HC. Many years went by and the two companies worked along side each one another, but sometimes there were trouble, because they weren't sure who was supposed to bill the client for projects HA and HP had worked on together.
At HA there was an IT guy, an imbecile of such. He's very slow at doing his job, doesn't exactly understand what he's doing, nor security principles.
The IT guy at HA also did some IT work for HP from time to time when needed. But he was not in charge of the infrastructure for HP, that was the jobb for one developer who didn't really know what he was doing either.
Whenever a new server was set up at HP, the developer tried many solutions, until he landed on one, but he never removed the other tested solutions, and the config is scattered all around. And no documentation!!
Same goes with network, when something new was added, the old was never removed or reconfigured to something else.
One dark winter, a knight arrived at HP. He had many skills. Networking, server management, development, design and generally a fucking awesome viking.
This genius would often try to cleanse the network and servers, and begged his boss to let him buy new equipment to replace the old, to no prevail.
Whenever he would look in the server room, he would get shivers down his back.
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/Ie9x3YC33C.j...)
One and a half year later, the powerful owners in HA, HP and HC decided it was finally time to merge HA and HP together to HS. The knight thought this was his moment, he should ask CEO if he could be in charge of migrating the network, and do a complete overhault so they could get 1Gb interwebz speeds.
The knight had to come up with a plan and some price estimates, as the IT guy also would do this.
The IT guy proposed his solution, a Sonicwall gateway to 22 000 NOK, and using a 3rd party company to manage it for 3000 NOK/month.
"This is absurd", said the knight to the CEO and CXO, "I can come up with a better solution that is a complete upgrade. And it will be super easy to manage."
The CEO and CXO gave the knight a thumbs up. The race was on. We're moving in 2 months, I got to have the equipment by then, so I need a plan by the end of the week.
He roamed the wide internet, looked at many solutions, and ended up with going for Ubiquiti's Unifi series. Cheap, reliable and pretty nice to look at.
The CXO had mentioned the WiFi at HA was pretty bad, as there was WLAN for each meeting room, and one for the desks, so the phone would constantly jump between networks.
So the knight ended up with this solution:
2x Unifi Securtiy Gateway Pro 4
2x Unifi 48port
1x Unifi 10G 16port
5x Unifi AP-AC-Lite
12x pairs of 10G unifi fibre modules
All with a price tag around the one Sonicwall for 22 000 NOK, not including patch cables, POE injectors and fibre cables.
The knight presented this to the CXO, whom is not very fond of the IT guy, and the CXO thought this was a great solution.
But the IT guy had to have a say at this too, so he was sent the solution and had 2 weeks to dispute the soltion.
Time went by, CXO started to get tired of the waiting, so he called in a meeting with the knight and the IT guy, this was the IT guys chance to dispute the solution.
All he had to say was he was familiar with the Sonicwall solution, and having a 3rd party company managing it is great.
He was given another 2 weeks to dispute the solution, yet nothing happened.
The CXO gave the thumbs up, and the knight orders the equipment.
At this time, the knight asks the IT guy for access to the server room at HA, and a key (which would take 2 months to get sorted, because IT guys is a slow imbecile)
The horrors, Oh the horrors, the knight had never seen anything like this before.
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/HfptwEh9qT.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/HfptwEh9qT.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/hmOE2ZuQuE.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/4Flmkx6slQ.j...)
What are all these for, why is there a fan ductaped to on of the servers.
WHAT IS THIS!
Why are there cables tied in a knot.
WHY!
These are questions we never will know the answers too.
The knight needs access to the servers, and sonicwall to see how this is configured.
After 1.5 month he gains access to the sonicwall and one of the xserve.
What the knight discovers baffles him.
All ports are open, sonicwall is basically in bridge mode and handing out public IPs to every device connected to it.
No VLANs, everything, just open...10 -
I still believe more people would use the voice assistant if they replaced "Okay Google" with "Operator".6