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Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.
"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.14 -
If you somehow managed to install Mac OS on a raspberry Pi, does that make it an Apple Pi?
I'm sorry, I'll leave now...34 -
-Some run marathons, I run Python
-Some have energy drinks, I have Java
-Some fight in MMA, I fight with CSS
-Some see new places, I C new Places();
-Some are quick, I am Swift
-Some go camping, I Go Compiling
-Some can judge objectively, I can judge Objective-c
-Some climb mountains, I Scala Structures
-Some live adventurous lives, I live a BASIC one
-Some go ball, I COBOL
-Some watercolor, I Pascal
-Some look for diamonds and emeralds, I look for Ruby and Perl
-Some write novels, I TypeScript
-Some banter, I SmallTalk20 -
A university that teaches students
C++ without teaching an understanding of memory management is pointerless.5 -
Colleague was doing something with a switch, wasn't working, he went to get another one:
C: hmm, this one isn't working, I'm gonna get another one.
Me: so you're gonna SWITCH them?
C: 😑😬
😅5 -
*starts coding in c#*
Me: hmm this bit of functionality requires some good ol inheritence
*has flashback to uni lecture on c++ *
Lecturer: And so you can use inheritence with friends for xyz, you know what they say friends can touch eachothers privates
*end of flashback*
Me: Guh! No, not the puns ! Guh!5 -
Some dumb puns to cheer you up after reading/ranting about "part of your workflow you dislike"
#tower-of-pisa {
font-style: italic;
}
#titanic {
float: none;
}
.yomama {
width: 99999999px;
}
.ikea {
display: table;
}
#bigbang::before {
content: " "
}
.illuminati {
position: absolute;
visibility: hidden;
}
I'd rate these horrible puns a C++20 -
Four engineers get in a car. The car won't start.
The mechanical engineer says:
It's a broken starter.
The electrician's engineer says:
The battery is dead.
The chemical engineer says:
There are impurities in the gas.
The software engineer says:
Guys, try getting out of the the car then back in!1 -
I use GitKraken for managing/pushing to my repos on GitHub. So I always start off the day by saying, "Let's GitKraken"
I'm sorry everybody...3 -
Boss: Hey squares, I need one of you to select a new volume control, if you spot anything let me know.
Me: Say no more
2 -
Our youngest female proyect member has finally delivered her first son.
Now the time of dank puns about releasing, delivering and downloading has finally come 😁1 -
I knew nothing about programming then i came across this amazing chilled out teacher who taught me cpp literally through jokes and puns and here I am still learning the best thing I've came so far
PROGRAMMING
P.S. Here is a meme to show what my mates think when i fix stuff up
2 -
This week Im firing a guy who I hired 5 weeks ago. I cant take it anymore. I setted up a nice environment for him and he keeps taking whole day sometimes two or three to do a 2 hour task. He came from electrical engineering background and never had a software dev job. As a person hes more creative type not logical based type. I dont have nor patience nor resources nor time to teach him basics that be could google but simply doesnt have the mindset to do. Sorry bill gates not everyone can learn how to code, or at least not everyone should.
Advice to other people hiring new hires: test the shit out of them before hiring, dont hire from gut. This guy was giving out a nerd vibe, but the only nerd thing that he has is nerdy puns, other than that as a software dev he know less than I did when I was 12 years old.25 -
There are so many awesome dev jokes and puns here, i want to share them all with my friends. But i know none of them would understand whats so hilarious about them :(4
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!rant
Most programming shirts/hoodies really suck. They fall into two categories:
1. Super lame pun quotes in an ugly font.
2. Memes transfer-printed onto cheap fabric
I'm not against puns, or quotes. I quite like the design from @AlexDeLarge
https://devrant.io/rants/830390/, and I've been looking for a nice shirt with Dijkstra's "simplicity is a prerequisite for reliability" on it.
But many do not put any thought into beautiful design, and shit like "No place like 127.0.0.1", "404 girlfriend not found" or "There are 10 kinds of people" really stopped being funny a decade ago.
Good design, colors & quality are so fucking important.
What are your favorite dev-related clothes?16 -
!dev but actual long rant - about the students in my grade.
TL;DR: 1 asshole in 10 people can ruin everything. Mobbing sucks. I dislike parties.
There's the word "Jahrgang" in Germany which means the people in the same school year as you. I'll refer to it as "my (collective) classmates" although we don't have classes anymore, rather courses and I also mean those I do not have courses with.
With that out of the way, let the rant begin.
It's often the case that people with high logical and intellectual skills (no being arrogant, other people categorize me like that) have a lack of social skills - or empathy.
I'm a kind of an outsider in a way that since 10th grade I stopped trying to attach myself to certain groups since I do not fit in there. I'm fine with that now. Nowadays I can at least socialize with other nerds.
Here's why I dislike the collective of my classmates. This year is my last school year and as always, a big group forms a spirit. They have a theme (superheroes - super boring). I didn't go to any party they threw and I don't plan to go to the graduation ceremony as well since it's an unofficial party and not a school event. I hate parties. I hate alc and drunken teenagers. I didn't attend the "Kursfahrt" - a kind of excursion that's like holidays with your course - mainly because I dislike my "Stammkurs" (main course).
Why? I had a friend in this course. She was short, geeky and I could actually talk to her. Yet some jerks (not intensely) bullied her because "she was awkward" and in the end, she switched school - also because of other reasons.
When she was gone, even those who didn't bully her and who are considered "nice" made fun of her and talked badly about her - and me hanging around with her. So since then, I avoid anything with them that's not 100% school related.
Now they're planning what we call "Abigag" - it's a joke/prank the graduates pull on the school and younger students, something funny like an entrance room full of balloons and many other things. Also, the "Abizeitung", the yearbook the graduates put out with articles about their courses, teacher ranking and quotes etc. Also, a cabaret evening from the graduates to collect money for the graduation party. Cool stuff actually. I thought about taking part.
I'd say my talents are creativity and computer stuff. So a friend chatted with me about nerdy pranks like a school-wide wallpaper change. Or releasing a fake password list of the teachers - claiming we hacked them - with puns and insiders about the teaches. He said he gotta invite me into the WhatsApp group of the Abi prank. Disclaimer: He's one of those people who are socialized but still able to talk with me. He's fine.
Well guess what he told me later:
They don't want me on the team since I distance myself from my classmates. I should either be fully one of them or not at all.
That's enough. Who distances whom? I thought they were happy to have me on board but horse shit! Stuck with ideologies from the 19th century.
They can lick my ***. I don't have anything against most of them in person but as a collective, they're just fucking stupid. I guess it wasn't even the majority saying they don't want me to help. It was probably just the small crew of leading and loud jerks. And no one would disagree with them saying "Why not? He wants to help?" (even if it was their opinion) - they don't have the brain or balls to say anything against the strong idiot leaders. They'll do great later in politics as an adult - they wouldn't criticize Hitler if they were under his "protection".
So I won't take part in making Abi pranks, - but also not the Paper and cabaret eve. They can go jerk off to being part of a huge collection of assholes - which I, in all my pride, am not part of other than on paper.
(Disclaimer: No critics to other outsiders but those who were engaged and responsible for the choice of not letting me help)
If anyone actually read this:
Who were/are you in school times?
A proud outsider like me? Party boi/girl? Engaged striver?25 -
"I don't see women as objects, each woman is in a class of their own! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
- People who have no fucking clue how OOP works
Objects are instantiations of classes, you poor, retarded bastards. You saw those two words while skimming your 1st year college textbook, made this joke, promptly changed to some useless English degree because you cried after your "hello world" program didn't run, and never looked back to see the damage you had done.
I know the joke is the word play but word play word play puns are retarded anyways. Everything about this pun is awful.8 -
A customer had spilled beer on his Macbook and brought it in for us to run diagnostics on.
Me: So it looks like his Mac got cultured...
Coworker: I'm not even going to respond.3 -
when youre in the middle of a project then you suddenly get the urge to write a neural network that can do nlp to find suitable puns.
😩😩😩6 -
Here are few hillarious coding puns I found....
class Brick implements Throwable { }
byte me;
char acter;
float stone;
Exception taken;
string me_along;
int elligence;5 -
!dev
What can you say for certain about your argument when you bring it to a discussion and you pretty much lose but it still stands?
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It's not sitting down.
I'll leave now......4 -
My girlfriend said that I say so many puns that I should write a book with all of them.
I said that I will call the book My Little Punny. -
This is the craziest shit... MY FUCKING SERVER JUST SET ON FIRE!!!
Like seriously its hot news (can't resist the puns), it's actually really bad news and I'm just in shock (it's not everyday you find out your running the hottest stack in the country :-P)... I thought it slow as fuck this morning but the office internet was also on the fritz so I carried on with my life until EVERYTHING went down (completely down - poof gone) and within 2 minutes I had a technician from the data centre telling me that something to do with fans had failed and they caught fire, melted and have become one with the hardware. WTF? The last time I went to the data centre it was so cold I pissed sitting down for 2 days because my dick vanished.
I'm just so fucking torn right now because initially I was absolutely fucking ecstatic - 1 week ago after a year of doomsday bitching about having a single point of failure and me not being a sysadmin only to have them look at me like I'm some kind of techie flat earther I finally got approval to spend around 5x more per month and migrate all our software to containerized micro services.
I'll admit this is a bit worse than I expected but thanks to last week at least I have recent off site images of the drives - because big surprise I have to set this monolithic beast back up (No small feat - its gonna be a long night) on a fresh VPS, I also have to do it on premises or the data will only finish uploading sometime next week.
Pro Tip: If your also pleading for more resources/better production environment only to be stone walled the second you mention there's a cost attached be like me - I gave them an ultimatum, either I deploy the software on a stack that's manageable or they man the fuck up and pay a sys admin (This idea got them really amped up until they checked how much decent sys admins cost).
Now I have very flexible pockets because even if I go rambo the max server costs would only be 15-20% of a sys admins paycheck even though that is 13 x more than our current costs.
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! ! ! WARNING: BAD PUNS ! ! !
Float: Bool, you're so basic.
Bool: Why are you boolean me?
...
I'll see myself out6 -
My partner asking me about the code he's working on. This is what happens when two programmers date each other. This was more of an issue when we were both in college, but it still sometimes comes up on occasion.4
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!rant
We were talking about Kafka's "metamorphosis" and a friend said "what if the parents were programmers and did not want to have a bug in the family?" -
[Half question / half rant]
Would you rather work with a laid-back, humorous colleague who produces shit code and won’t understand advice for improvement?
Or would you rather work with someone who’s more serious, even slightly boring, but who takes quality seriously and is open to advice?
Yes I’ve worked with both types. Hands down I prefer working with the latter. With the first dude I’ll have good conversations and a good laugh at his puns and jokes. But at the end of the day I’m pulling my hair trying to make sense of his code and spending a shitload of time reviewing his PRs just to make sure he’s not fucking things up even more.4 -
So, maybe 6 hours ago or so, I was randomly browsing Github and stuff, came across https://git.io/vABiT in the Trending page. "Hell yeah, I'd go for some swag".
Started looking through them all, eventually found myself here on devRant. Instantly fell in love, it's the perfect mix of jokes, puns, and rants. Now it's 5 AM and I've got work at 10... Worth it, for sure!
Anyways, hello guys, glad to have found this place, really loving the feel of it all.3 -
The shady company that tried to interview me for a data entry job when I applied as a software developer called me. They left a message asking if I was still interested in a help desk position. Like nope and I never was. Been working at my current job as a software engineer for over a month. Try finding people who actually want the jobs you're offering!6
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Bossman told me to give my project more hierarchy and to add all those weird __init__.py files.
I don,t quite like all those boring empty files, so anyone got some bri'ish language "innit?" jokes or other awful puns to add as comments?8 -
To all Git Gang members,
It's overwhelming to see the growth of git gang over a single night.
Welcome everyone..
Lets share the world's best git rants, git hacks and git-ish puns..
git add ./\*.rants
git commit -m "gitGang in devRant"
git push
Feel free to join at https://discord.gg/zPEuRzn
New members are always welcomed.. :)1 -
Time for some bad puns I made up with my coworker when we were stuck in traffic. Got any dev puns of your own? Share them here!
Why is it called Python if it isn't a snake?
Why is it called Ruby if I can't put it on my jewellery?
Why is it called Rust if it's so clean?
Why is it called Go if it stays in the same place?
Why is it called Perl if it's so ugly?
Why is it called C# if I can't write music with it?
Why can't I drink Java?6 -
Yo, where's @g-m-f at ?
Haven't heard from him in last few months, his puns were sharper than a toothpick and shorter than a 3 minute jack-off6 -
It's about to be 4:20 on 4/20 get ready to run all your scrips now as you cannot have an unexpected token at 4:20 on 4/20, all token is expected then.1
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When your partner decides right as you are able to sleep is the time to be worrying. No that freckle on your arm doesn't look like a bed bug bite. You've obviously never seen a bedbug bite. Now I have to look them up on Google to prove I'm correct. ಠ_ಠ4
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Making an ad for web design.
Give me your puns to design something around so it isn't boring...
Go!4 -
Huh. I have been starting to run out of ideas for puns. I guess I Need to update my Pungram
That was terrible ill Get something better tommorow. -
Client shared a folder with me, while I was looking I found this. I'm not sure, what he really ment 'cum'unity or community
2 -
I got a lot of likes for my first two rants, A huge surprise to me, especially cause they were puns.
I guess I really got with the program.3 -
In Russia, battle rap is huge.
The most viewed battle rap video of all time is Russian "Oxxxymiron vs Slava KPSS" with over 46 million views and one million likes.
As it usually happens in rap, initially the Russian battles was nothing but dick jokes and yo mama puns delivered aggressively, but as the new, intelligent rap culture was brought to life by Oxford graduate Oxxxymiron, Babangida and others, rappers started to see battle rap as a way to express their own ideas and picture of the world.
Today, if you don't know what was the philosophy of Kant and Hegel all about, who is Slavoj Zizek and if you didn't even read Joseph Campbell's "The Hero with a Thousand Faces", they won't call you a retarded loser – they just won't talk to you.
In Russian you can put the words into sentences almost any way you wish, which allows intricate poetry and many additional meanings.
Many see today's Russian battlers as direct descendants of The Golden Age and The Silver Age of Russian poetry. They are just that – more poets than rappers, and they deliver really sophisticated rhyme structures really often.
Despite that, their flow is also solid, with grime, doule-time and even constantly altering flow with the changes performed flawlessly.
Some compact punchlines are so complex that they unfold in a whole new picture as you google trying to understand them. They are virtually untranslatable, requiring a lot of cultural and philosophical context to even scratch a surface.4 -
I have a pun ban on work this week, apparently I have used it all up. They are always bringing me down..
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I'm not sure. Was considering becoming a pharmacist when I was in high school. Also was considering becoming a graphic designer. If I had enough money to just quit being a programmer today and couldn't go back to programming, maybe teaching computer science or being an artist.
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What language would you use to change the image attributes of a picture of a pie ?
...
Pietone !!!
Badum tss tss tss 😃 -
The amount of people who complain about puns on this website surprises me. I guess they don't like puns, Not one bit.1
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I'm the guinea pig at my job for them training new people. Just got a list of steps for installing a company specific library. Already found a mistake in it :D
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For a while now I've wanted to make a blog about engineering and discovering different types of engineering (software development, electrical, mechanical, etc). In the blog I'd like to write about journey discovering what kind of engineering I wanted to be, how I got here, and fun projects you can do to see what different types of engineering fields are like. Long story short I want one of those projects to be my process making the blog they're actually reading it on and I have no idea where to start with web dev. Can I get pointers (puns) to resources or frameworks that would be good for beginners?5
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Q: Where's the best place to find horribly corny dev puns?
A: Devrants late at night
seriously you guys are killing me
ngl i chucked at a few tho -
Over the past week (Well... Nearly a week) I've made a presentation of myself of being a really punny guys, and people seemed to like it.
I guess I really /excelled/ at it? -
The professor that made us use ada. This course was in 2018. Not useful to real world and also hard af. Was a great professor good at teaching and a great guy - just the course was hard as fuck and if you were struggling it was hard to find resources.
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I had to go into the office just to fill out one piece of paperwork and now I'm here waiting 20 minutes for the next bus cause I just missed the one before it :/1
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