I hate colleagues calling me without informing me like WTF. Me being online on Teams does not mean I will drop everything to talk to you. Do I need to put myself to busy whole day?

You’re know you’re screwed when you get pulled into a project you weren’t involved with in the beginning, and coz of tight timelines they tell you “it’s time to jump and swim now”
FML

I'm gonna kill him...no don't defend him, you lot are meant to be on my side!

IT'S FUCKING HUNTING SEASON.

I know, I know, you want context but I just can't now. I'm completely annoyed. Fuck data integrity, just duplicate rows randomly cos fuck you.

Work is about to turn into a murder mystery...without the mystery 😒

He doesn't even work here anymore, hope he forgets his password and gets locked out of everything he has.

Woosah....

How I imagine it vs How my users use it.

So one of my friends has just had a child and it's already a month old...

Was thinking to myself what I've done this past month... Started 4 new projects, cancelled 3 of them already and drank 3 slabs of beer to myself...

Think I know who has had a better time...
*Cries salty Dev tears*

Try to have a partner so you actually feel you need to work on it otherwise they get pissed and start nagging.

Last Wednesday and Thursday were public holidays. Took leave on Friday and now at a resort beside a dam/lake. Now chilling with booze and snacks in a wooden tent. Life can't be better.

Morale of the story is Programming is not your life. Take a break.

Got my rubber duck 😎😎😎

This so me...! And I really love the black theme <3

This is the fucking data warehouse............

10 FUCKING INDEXES IN THE ENTIRE THING!

Btw...that includes Primary Keys

@dfox I just want to say thank you !

Most of my friends are not devs at all. Thanks to you, I can share my adventures to people that actually understand what I'm talking about.

This is priceless.

Totally not dev related but had to ait this somewhere... Yesterday my parents came to me and asked what the best way would be for them to have some space cake...

Totally caught me by surprise! Was so surprised I couldn't utter actual sentences for a solid 5 minutes...

This rant is dedicated to all the fuckers that like their own post on Facebook. Congrats.

TIL...

For halloween, lets scare the shit out of every Windows user...

Happens all the time. Being a programmer is a lifestyle. A sleepless one.

Matched with a girl on Tinder who studies Artificial Intelligence.

Me: "I see you study AI, how cool! Is it hard?"

She hasn't texted back for 3 days

What did I do wrong?

My 2 friends and me just started a company!!! I feel so excited, because I'm 17 and get to learn how to start a company, I always had that dream to be part of startup. My position is backend developer and db engineer working in apache and python for API's and MySQL for database. 😁😁😁😁😁

I think I've finally realized something:
my boss does not actually listen to me.

Quite often during out weekly conference calls, he asks me questions about things I had just covered. I always assumed he couldn't hear because a) i'm rather quiet, and b) freeconferencecall.com bloody sucks.

But it happens for written things, too. I type an update on something in Slack, and an hour later he asks me for an update on it. I always assumed (likely correctly) that he has nearly zero reading comprehension. He writes like a 5th grader and only remembers a few nouns and one verb from anything he reads. But I swear he actively skips reading anything I write.

Now, however, I have frigign' proof that he ignores me. We have both been trying to get ahold of {Clover contractor} via email for months. We have gotten three replies, but twice scheduling prevented setting up a meeting, and once I simply missed the email amongst the flood of log spam I haven't been allowed to address.

I have asked the boss multiple times for the guy's phone number -- in emails, in Slack, and in front of everyone during our weekly conference calls -- and he has totally ignored me every. single. time.

Here's a transcript of my seventh(!) attempt:

Boss [2:13 PM]
Have you and {Clover contractor} met yet? If not make it happen. Stop letting it not happen. GIve specific dates and times. {Clover contractor} let's talk Tuesday 2pm or Wednesday 4pm which works better for you.

Root [2:14 PM]
For the seventh and last time, give me his phone number.
Getting ahold of him via email has not worked.

Boss [2:14 PM]
I am sendning one more, from that I want you to make the meeting happen asap.

Root [2:14 PM]
if i call him, setting up a meeting will be _easy_
Give me his phone number and I will handle this.

It is now 3:00pm and I haven't gotten a response.

Either he doesn't want it to happen, wants me to fail for some reason, or he's totally fucking oblivious. Yet ofc it's me who earns all of the blame when this meeting doesn't happen, and I'm likely to get yelled at in front of everyone, fucking again.

I'm really beginning to hate this guy.

I can't wait to walk out on him and watch the company come crashing down in my absence. It'll be sad to watch, but bloody hell does he deserve it for his arrogant incompetence.

CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION:

Thanks. This is a notice from Yahoo Mail to warm up your IP’s.

Preferably by toaster but only microwave as a last resort.

Background:
Long story short a mail server was used by botnets to send out a few thousand emails over the past few days. We contacted a few email providers in hopes that they remove our IP from their blacklists.

Got moved to testing last week, (due to lack of testers) being a developer it requires a whole different mind set to test !!!

But running selenium scripts and again verifying manually sucks.

But what hurts the most is rejecting something that you approved during peer review 😱🤭

Come in, check task list, everything is basically "awaiting confirmation" or "acronyms you've never seen before talking about things that only like 2 people know about" or "check the powerpoint that you've never seen or even knew existed"

Sooooooo home time? Besides, it's POETS day ;).

For those that don't know (Piss Off Early, Tomorrow's Saturday)

Oh my f**cking god! Bohemian Rhapsody is quite possibly the greatest movie ever made, at least the greatest biopic! Left the cinema with chills 😮😁

People adding documentation to their code.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

i just waste 2 hours on DevBullshitRant. This app is a trap

How about some good news for a change?
We have new baby! 😊 He's our second.

And he was born on 10/24!
He's going to be my little devvy.
😊😊😊

NO! Use the description instead of the primary key because the key might change ................................................................................................................... vs the description .............................................................................................................. the key more likely .............................................. meh

++ if you at some point wished you can just quit and be a stripper

I'm tired of everyone playing the fucking victim all the damn time.

Grow the fuck up and take responsibility of your fuck ups, not blame everyone but yourself.

God people piss me off these days

People who use smartphones with brightness set to 100% and no blue light filter on a dark bus at night with the display (7+ inches ofc) in the direction of your eyes... thanks, now I’m blind.