Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

Client: This works correctly, but I don’t like the code.

Me: What exactly do you not like?

Client: There are barely any lines of code. You need to add more to make it better.

I...I don’t know what to say.

Hey everyone!

devRant will be going down on Friday, July 7th around 10:30pm EDT so we can do some database maintenance and restructuring of our cluster. It hopefully won't be down for more than about 30 minutes or so, and during that time you should see our "down for maintenance" message.

If you usually use devRant while you're on the toilet (we know many do!), we apologize and suggest you try to schedule around this!

Please let me know if you have any questions and apologies for the inconvenience.

Girl: we need to talk!

Me: Ok...

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

Turns out Spotify desktop shows a lightsaber as the seek bar when you play this

The hardest part of being a programmer wasn't the education, the self-teaching, the sleepless nights or the hours of agony trying to fix a bug that would break a program I'd spend weeks working on.

It's the realization that my family, friends, coworkers...nobody understands at all what I do. They don't know of my failures or my triumphs. I can't talk about it with them and it's becoming more apparent to them that it's taking up more of my life. And in a way it feels like a part of myself has just become, well, alien.

Best way I can describe it is, it's like the "Tears in the Rain" scene from Blade Runner.

I'm stuck, I think. I know I've been shutting out people from my life more and more as I don't want to "deal" with people's issues, but I don't think it's been good. I'm can verify that I'm depressed beyond my normal levels.

It's time for me to make an appointment with a therapist.

Remember that you are loved here, and appreciated. Don't let anyone tell you different.

Stay strong.

FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read

Hey everyone,

This coming Sunday (Feb 4), at about 12AM EST, devRant will be going down for scheduled maintenance (database server maintenance). The maintenance shouldn’t take more than about 15 minutes.

Feel free to let me know if you have any questions and apologies for the inconvenience!

The more you know, the less you need.

Programming: The more you know, the less you know

Did you know that the S in IoT stands for security?

The more you know ;)

I'm creating a website and I'm thinking: Wow, I use html, css, javacript and python, I'm awesome! Then I see what other people know: shit, I'm not awesome...
Programmer: the more you know, the more modest you become...

Working with a new dev several years ago -

Him: "Man, I don't get why everybody thinks coding is hard. It's easy!"

Me: "It gets tougher, the more you read the more you realize you know less than you think."

Him: "I'm done reading! I did all of my reading in college."

Me: thinking "have a nice career"

Things I wish I could tell my 18 year old self.

1) Accept you will make mistakes.
2) Truly learn the language you are using.
3) Write idiomatic code for the language you are using.
4) Be upfront about not knowing something.
5) Don't let not knowing something stop you from learning it.
6) None of us knew X until we learned it.
7) Understand your strengths and weaknesses as a developer, play to them.
8) Be willing to try new things.
9) X language isn't ALWAYS the best choice, X paradigm isn't ALWAYS the best choice. Choose wisely.
10) You won't know everything, but you might know more than others.
11) Your ideas and ego don't matter more than ensuring the product works.
12) "Perfection is the enemy of the good [enough]" - Voltaire
13) "Perfection is not achieved when there's nothing more to add, but when there's nothing more to remove." - Einstein.
14) Conflicts happen, deal with it.
15) Develop a toolset and really learn them.
16) Try new tools, they may prove better than what you were using.
17) Don't manage your own memory unless you absolutely have to, you are probably not smarter than the collective intelligence of the team that built the various garbage collection methods.
18) People can be dicks, especially online.
19) If you are new and people are being dicks to you, did you skip past the irc message about etiquette? If you did, you're the dick in this situation.
20) It can be tough, but it is fun, so have fun!

Client: Please remove the address inputs from the inquiry form. Our marketing strategist said that more people will fill out the form if there are less input fields.

Me: But you are required by law to include the address in the generated inquiry PDFs!

Client: Can you remove the fields and still include the address in the PDF somehow?

Me: No. How would the website know the users address without asking for it.

Client: Okay. Wait! Can we change the form to just one large input where the user has to enter everything at once? That is even less inputs so more users would do it, right?

Me:...

I am starting to get more pissed off than I should be by one particular type of rant on here.

Quote:
My boss/senior/coworker did not know how to do XXX even though he is supposed to have more experience than me. I had to fix his goddamn problem blah blah blah.

If you'd have that attitude on my team I'd be spending a lot of time trying to get you off of it. A team MUST help each other. If you think you're better than others you either teach them or get the fuck out. If you don't understand or know something that's fine and it perfectly normal to have others explain it to you.

Fun fact: The word "sudo" in Spanish means "I sweat", which, in colloquial speech, can also mean "I don't give a fuck"

Interviewer: Do you have created any android application before?

Dev: I just built an application to increase, farming production to help farmers earn some more money. It's less profitable but makes farmers better.

Interviewer: That's so stupid. Do you know Jeff Bezos?

Dev: yes

Interviewer: we need someone like that level of visionary to make money for our company. Sorry, we don't think you can make apps that makes people do stupid things for fame.

Dev: Do you know Nicola Tesla

Interviewer : yes

Dev: Well he should have pulled the plug long ago.

Life is about spamming. Want to get into a relationship? Spam every girl you see and like in the streets and ask nicely.
Want more clients? Spam.
Want a job?
Tell everyone you know, that you search for a job.
Send a resume to every company you desire. Spam.

I fucking hate python and myself even more. Python is easy they say, Python has nice syntax but fuck you . Fuck you seriously I cringe if I see non-c-like syntax. Every time I leave my comfort zone I get fucked over by damn semicolons. Fuck this imports i don't know your damn library. But god damn In far too advanced for hello world. There are two versions and the lib I want to use is incompatible? Well fuck me? That kind of shit never hit me on PHP. Damn me! Fuck you python. I want to know you but you fuck me harder than life. GEHÖRT? DU FICKST MICH HÄRTE ALS DAS LEBEN DU HURENSOHN!!!!

What is even your problem? Indentation? Well thank you for not having braces! I mean come on I try, I really do. I know you are different but every thing I want to learn about you is either for uber beginners or so advanced I don't even know what's going on. Do magical shit in a few lines? What the fuck is in those packages? A wizard full filling whishes like "plz make this work"?

But don't worry you cum snorting unicorn as much as I hate you I'm more mad about me for not being a descendant of fucking slytherin!

"There is nothing more permanent than a temporary hack" - so true quote from the You Don't Know JavaScript book series

1. You don't code to add a feature or whatever. You do it to solve Users' problems. It's a User-centric system.
2. You read more code than you write. So help yourself and write code intended to be read.
3. If people don't know you did something, you did nothing!
4. Never answer a call at 3 am if you're not paid to be on night call-duty. You'll become the guy who answers at 3 am.
5. Remember the big difference between you and me is that I failed to do stuff more times than you have tried to do.
6. When you start shaving the yak, stop!

*reads JSON license*
"The Software shall be used for Good, not Evil."

Well that's actually a nice license.. if only nuclear research etc could be licensed like that.

Wait actually.. WanBLowS is using XML for its "diagnostic data", right? I always found it so weird that they don't use JSON for that.. but I guess that this is why 🙃

Did you know that you could only add 23 smileys to a message in Slack? 🤔 Well now you know! 😁

Scheduled devRant maintenance - I'm going to be upgrading some infrastructure later and there will be some downtime, probably about 15 minutes, around 9pm EDT. Apologies for the inconvenience and devRant disruption :) It will help with working towards an even more stable service in the future.

Feel free to let me know if you have any questions!

Fucking HR interviews. Fucking "tell me about yourself" and pretending to seem interested in what i have to say while you think about how you did it with a guy behind the dumpster.
For fucks sake, i am a developer, i have spent more time with coding language than human language. I speak more to a rubber duck than to my friends. That's what you want to know about me?
I am here to fix your fucking site that uses flash plugin in 2017 and you want me to tell good things about your company?
Do you want me to tell you the details about your site that i got from whois and that your subscribed domain registration will end in September this year?
You don't know what responsive design is and you dare interview me?
Thanks for wasting my time and telling me shit about your company and how you have offices in germany and china. Well guess what? I dont care. I am busy thinking about some girl... Actually i am thinking about my side project. I dont know why i pretend to be cool?

So, in the printing industry, FTP has a long and storied history as the standard method of sending art assets. But as time has gone on, more and more people are utterly incapable of handling FTP.

Customer: "I sent you the file. It's called xyz.zip"

PM: "I don't see the file."

Customer: "I know I sent it."

PM: "Let me check with IT."

I check the logs. No such file was uploaded.

PM: "What program did you use to send the file?"

Customer: "Firefox"

Every. Fucking. Time.

It turns out the Germans actually have a word for this:

Debugging somones hacked site now, you know some developer messed up when the heckers injected code is more readable and structured than the actual sites...

Was almost done creating a full program as a web based app and the boss came to me and said:

"You know what, lets just add some more details to it, so the client is happy and create all of this as a desktop app from scratch"

Whats so nice about devrant is that you see more or less the same people from time to time everywhere.
In comments, notifications, rants, all that.

It's like a party full of nerds like you where it's actually fun to get to know people.:D

YoU nEEd tO tHInK MorE LiKe oUr nOn tEcHnICal UsErs

That's your fucking job you powerpoint monkey, I'm writing code since age of 14, I distrust everything that doesn't spit out logs of what it's extacly doing to my console including you, my gf says sudo to get my attention, how the hell am I supposed to know how normies think

I know it's not too impressive, but got this working using my Windows console double-buffering system and literal bitmaps for the large numbers.

I have posted about both previously if you want more details :3

"Windows can't update because you don't have enough disk space"

HOW ABOUT YOU STOP FUCKING POPPING UP A GIANT UNFUCKOFFABLE OVERLAY IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VIDYA GAMES FOR THE 10000th TIME?

I fucking know I have no disk space, if you complain one more fucking time, I'll make disk space -- by deleting you.

(I'm joking, linux/mac game support is so fucking trash)

The awkwardly embarrassing moment when you realise your junior, a fresher out of college, knows more than you... Shittt... Why kids are so fucking smart these days!!! I'm looking for a place where I can go and just hide from the world. If you know one, please help.

My friend and boss，told me he would teach me code 2 years in a half ago.

I didnt know what css or html was and i used to call java javascript.

I can know create my own module with webpack， have my automated doc， use react， redux， he taught me linux， git，unit testing， databases，docker， and so on...

Im not an expert in any of it butbi know what they are for and can play with them more or less comfortably.

The best advice he ever gave me was:

“coding is not about coding. We are like the greath painters of history. They were great at painting but even more at creating. If you have no creativity， you can paint as well as you want， its worthless.”

So I got terminal Linux in school right now. People said that it's so hard, but guess what? Surprisingly it's even easier for me than Windows CMD!

!rant
I just started to use Fira Code as my main font because another awesome user recommended it and I must say, this shit is beautiful. This is what I love about this community. I learn more and get to know more cool shit because of what users say in here than the 5 years I spent at uni. You ninjas rock!

You know the feeling when you deliver exactly what the requirement was and there were no more iterations and changes to those requirements after that??

No..?? Me neither..

"Big data" and "machine learning" are such big buzz words. Employers be like "we want this! Can you use this?" but they give you shitty, ancient PC's and messy MESSY data. Oh? You want to know why it's taken me five weeks to clean data and run ML algorithms? Have you seen how bad your data is? Are you aware of the lack of standardisation? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE MISSPELLED "information"?!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE MORE THAN 15 WAYS OF MISSPELLING IT!!! I HAD TO MAKE MY OWN GODDAMN DICTIONARY!!! YOU EVER FELT THE PAIN OF TRAINING A CLASSIFIER FOR 4 DAYS STRAIGHT THEN YOUR GODDAMN DEVICE CRASHES LOSING ALL YOUR TRAINED MODELS?!!
*cries*

I know a lot of you already know/do this, but to those of you who don't - I know it has saved me more than once:

If you use SSMS (SQL Server Management Studio) - when connecting to a server, before you hit the "connect" button, under options, choose a color to represent which server you are connecting to. I personally use stoplight colors: red = prod, yellow = QA, green = dev....this way, it helps you realize what server you are connected to, minimizing our dreaded "oh shit" moments....lol

Hopefully this helps someone ☺

Fibonacci for developers.

One Developer writes bad code and leaves. Company hires two more to fix the code and cycle continues. Now you know why software developers are in demand.

It's raining in Chennai, India.
Flooding in quite a few areas.
The areas hit bad are where the IT companies have set up shop. More rain is expected .
If you know guys from here please check and see if they're OK. It was almost impossible to get back home from work for many people last night.

Uber was charging 600% more for a ride.

Hope you guys from Chennai are safe.

Tell people you love them every day because you don't know when it will be the last time.
But more importantly, don't forget to "git push" every day, because you never know when your laptop is about to die, taking with him those last commits. RIP my friend.

TIL...

"The more you learn, the less you know"

I'm in that weird spot where the more I study programming, the more I realize I know next to nothing. I get pretty demotivated at times because it can be so overwhelming to study for hours, finally understand a topic... only to find out the next thing is even worse and there's literally thousands of things to learn, from languages themselves, to rules, best practices, paradigms and so on and so forth.

How do you guys deal with this? Do you even have the same problem?

Some 40 years old guy on the bus talking with his younger colleague: "If you learn Java, you know Javascript. Javascript is just more compact Java."

You know you aren't a junior dev any more when you stop asking how to do something and start asking what is the most efficient way to do it.

You know what's more irritating than working with a partner who doesn't understand how to properly build an API?

Working with one who fully understands the best practices but doesn't give a shit to implement them until something breaks.

"If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room", I seek to be in presence of people who know more than me, from whom I can learn from

I honestly do not understand why clients, with no understand of development at all, think they know more than the developer.

I do not understand why these people think they know what can and cannot be done within a given timeline.

If it's so damn easy, why aren't you making the damn website/app yourself????

#frustratedaf
#donewiththisshit
#ineedthemoneytho

Once a day, take some time to read your colleagues' commits.

You will see how they work, you will learn how they solve problems, you will understand their flow and you will know more and more parts of the code base.

After working for 5 years after getting my bachelor's, I have moved country and started work on a Master's.

Nothing is more humbling in CompSci than realising the depth of what you /don't/ know. Imposter syndrome, anybody?

You know you are in the wrong place when you've to use your Mouse more than your Keyboard...

You know what, I'm out of devRant until Coronavirus is over. I can't take one more repost of the TCP UDP handshake shit.

Client(over the phone):- I want an Android app where there job seekers and recruiters.

Me:- sounds reasonable enough, ok

Client:-i want job seekers to apply for the job and recruiters to post the job.

Me(gets a bad feeling);- doable ok.

Client:- and I want an admin user who can see all the users and do everything.

Me(yup there it is):- what do you mean by everything?

Client :- you know everything, talk to recruiters talk to see everyone using the app, you know everything.

Me :- no I don't know this "everything" that you speak of, tell me more, what screens (activity) should that have and stuff.

Client (getting irritated):- everything the admin user usually does.

Me(yare yare daze):- i will show number of users in a graph.

I have a feeling this is not over yet

You know whom I hate more than apple fanboys, "language" fanboys!
Yeah...that's a thin now.
(I'll post the whole story when I reach my room)

That moment when you get a great idea for a side project, and you know you don't have the needed skills yet, but you don't care 'cause it just means you're gonna have to learn more... just awesome 😍

The newest IPhone (Which specwise is good) is more expensive than the newest graphics cards that are coming out... h.o.l.y. s.h.i.t
and you know what? THE BEST MODEL IS 400 BUCKS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN A FUCKING 2080TI!
And you know what?
WHATS UP WITH STORAGE!
you go from 64Gb to 256 and 512 GIGABYTES OF DATA!!
Its like, Midrange storage to a Ton of Storage to HOLY SHIT WHO NEEDS THIS MUCH?!
and you know WHY they are doing this?
Because most of the people will buy the 256 or 512 model GUARANTEED! People behave like this! you dont believe me?
What if you gave a Big Popcorn box for 15 Bucks and the smallest one for 5 bucks, which one would you buy? The smaller one. (Most of the time) and why? because you only have 2 choices! If I gave you 3 choices: 5 for small, 10 for medium and 15 for large?
You wont buy the smallest one, because it doesnt make sense! THATS WHY AND NOW FUCK OFF AND YOU TOO APPLE GO SUCK COCKS OF YOUR FUCKING FANBOYS WHICH WILL PAY MORE!

LinkedIn feels like:
- be bombarded with recruiters messaging you
- people you don't know bragging about joining a company
- more people you don't know sharing useless advice for tons of corporate crap

Is just me or anyone feels the same?

Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Me: Like?
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...

FUCK THESE FUCKING ARTICLES THAT MAKE YOU CLICK THROUGH 87290 COCK SUCKING PAGES TO READ THE SHIT. ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS ONLY LIKE TWO PARAGRAPHS WORTH OF STUFF!!

AND FUCK YOU EVEN MORE FOR ALLOWING THESE DISGUSTINGLY LARGE ADS TO TAKE UP NEARLY THE ENTIRE DAMN SCREEN SO ITS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO CLICK ONE.

I just wanted to read some shit I didnt know about the Trojan War but now ill neVER FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE IM NOT GONNA CLICK A THOUSAND TIMES THROUGH A MINE FIELD TO FUCKING FIND OUT.

You know you have been coding for a while when you see a sign on the street and think "hey, that could use a bit more margin 🤔"

The senior dev is mentoring our new recruit.
😨 I know, my face too.

When the newbie asked how to deploy, senior dev says, "Well, we copy and paste this folder from your local box to the server you need to deploy it on. Much better than that git shit, you have so much more control!"

😭

Programmers are like bees!

You can domesticate programmers the way beekeepers tame bees. You can't exactly communicate with them, but you can get them to swarm in one place and when they're not looking, you can carry off the honey. You keep these bees from stinging by paying them money. More money than they know what to do with. But that's less than you might think. ~ Orson Scott Card

So i started using atom text editor like a month ago. After finding out i can install packages and going on a spree.... I may have broke it. You know you are in for a pickle if the editor starts with more errors than windows vista.

Oh, I'm sorry if I have spoken during this meeting. I didn't realise I was invited just so I would be told "we're not going into that much detail at this stage of the project". I was just trying to point out that when you mock up any UI, you should take into account the fact that information is hierarchical: more important stuff before less important stuff, you know. Maybe you don't want to swamp the user with buttons all the time. When everything is important, nothing is. But that's just detail. And then the boss says we should create two more incongruent screens and all of the sudden that's a brilliant idea! So then again, sorry. I know exactly where my place is now. You pretend you know what you're doing and I fix it for you.

Boasting you know programming just because you watched some programming videos doesn't help in any of the case, I learned this the hard way because I tried to show off in front a girl and turned out, she knew more and better. This was when I was 14, very bad memory

HR: you didn’t write in your job experience that you know kubernetes and we need people who know it.

Me: I wrote k8s

HR: What’s that ?

…
Do you know docker ?
Do you know what docker is ?
Do you use cloud ?
Can you read and write ?
Are you able to open the door with your left hand ?
What if we cut your hands and tell you to open the doors, how would you do that ?
What are your salary expectations?
Do you have questions, I can’t answer but I can forward them. Ask question, ask question, questions are important.
What is minimal wage you will agree to work ?
You wrote you worked with xy, are you comfortable with yx ?
We have fast hiring process consisting of 10 interviews, 5 coding assessments, 3 talks and finally you will meet the team and they will decide if you fit.
Why do you want to work … here ?
Why you want to work ?
How dare you want to work ?
Just find work, we’re happy you’re looking for it.
What databases you know ?
Do you know nosql databases ?
We need someone that knows a,b,c,d….x,y,z cause we use 1,2,3 … 9,10.
We need someone more senior in this technology cause we have more junior people.
Are you comfortable with big data?
We need someone who spoke on conference cause that’s how we validate that people can speak.
I see you haven’t used xy for a while ( have 5 years experience with xy ) we need someone who is more expert in xy.
How many years of experience you have in yz ??? (you need to guess how many we want cause we look for a fortune teller )

Not much changed in job hunting, taking my time to prepare to leetcode questions about graphs to get a job in which they will tell me to move button 1px to the left.

Need to make up some stories about how I was bad person at work and my boss was angry and told me to be better so I become better and we lived happy ever after. How I argued with coworkers but now I’m not arguing cause I can explain. How bad I was before and how good I am now. Cause you need to be a better person if you want to work in our happy creepy company.

Because you know… the tree of DOOM… The DOMs day.

Do you know that feeling when you finally have no more errors, but then you can't tell if the software actually does the right thing?

🤢

Wisdom of the day:
'No crashes' is not equivalent to 'it works'...

Explicit!
Okay so someone asked me to explain difference between an iPad & PC & i did it something like this:

If you provide a kid with a condom and a balloon, which would he value more?
Now give the same set to a mature adult, which would he value more?

We know which one serves the greater purpose right? 😝

You know a project's gonna be a pain in the ass if one of the file's the mini map looks like this. But wait there's more, this mini map is just a quarter of the whole file. Fuck

This app allows you view the json file your computer upload to Microsoft.
But to open it, you have to join the insider program and agree to upload more private data.
To know what data Microsoft spying on me, I have to agree to let Microsoft spying me willingly.
What kind the logic is that?😤

As a person who takes a lot of tech interviews everyday, here are a few thoughts

1. You DON’T need to know everything, it’s okay to say you don’t know things. Trust me, we know when you’re lying

2. Rule of thumb, the more the number of questions, the more we like you

3. We don’t mind you saying what you’re thinking when we ask a logical question. It might help us understand your approach to the problem and guide you.

4. Don’t google during telephonic interview, your stutter tells us the truth

Client: I don't know programming. But I think you should make the button more fancy?

Me: ... I am not Harry Potter, don't imagine programming like magic. And you ain't even a programmer...

Daily conversation with our precious client

Lesson I learnt the hard way today: ticket every fucking task (including admin) to:

A. Cover your arse (if the tickets are not ready because they haven't given us enough information, push back on it before committing too much effort to doing it)
B. Better deliverable (what you output will probably be better quality because you worked out the requirements upfront + you know the audience)
C. You have something to show management when they want to try and overwork you some more

I used to kill some time reading devrant some years ago and I just stopped because most rants were basically whinny little teenagers that think they know everything, keepers of knowledge and truth, being clearly crying babies about “ boo-hooo my coworker is not using the language I like” or something they clearly still have a lot to learn about.

Grow the fuck up. I guarantee you that when you have a few more years of experience you’ll realize how little you knew and how great you thought you were when in reality you knew shit.

Hell, I’m on my 16th year of programming experience and what o thought I knew last year had so many knowledge gaps.

Friendly advise, be more humble. You know shit. Get off your high horse and consider for a second you’re not as smart you think you are.

With that said, there are some really good rants here. But it didn’t change much from years ago.

Q: What's a "muscle memory"?

A: It's when you open up devRant, skim through several posts, get bored, decide to visit some other website for more stimulation, close the tab with devRant, open a new tab and your hands type in devrant.com [ENTER] before you know it

Windows 10 loves to freeze... especially when I wrote more than 200 lines of code and I'm pointing the cursor on the Save icon!

Thanks MS, you know how to give me a heart attack.

A useful guide of general rules for junior devs, while asking questions to senior devs.

1) If you're a junior dev, you're going to not know stuff. A lot of stuff. That's perfectly fine and expected. The more you realise you don't know, the more you move forward.

2) If you don't know something, duckduckgo it. If after at least 1 hour and a max of 2 hours of searching you still don't get it, ask someone.

3) If the senior dev just gives the answer directly, it means they think you should've already known the answer.

4) If the senior dev just gives the reasoning behind it, but not the answer, it means you should know most of it, but you can probably arrive at the answer with a bit more reasoning and it's a unique problem.

5) If the senior dev gives you the answer with an explanation, it's a very good question and you will likely get to learn something you didn't know already.

Replace senior dev with stack overflow and it still works the same.

if there's one thing I love more than coding, it's using metaphors to explain to other people why they're not "getting it". like the all famous contractor:

"yeah I know you need 5 months to build my house, but can you do it in 2. Also, I'm going to pay half. Oh, and when the house is done, could you also add a cellar?"

any more good metaphors out there?

Look, nano, I love you more than you could imagine but the fact that you make these shortcuts do what they do can fuck off...

CTRL+C = cursor position
CTRL+X = exit nano
CTRL+V = next page

I meant... *Sigh*... I don't fucking know anymore man...

You know it's going to be a bad sprint when sprint planning takes two hours and at the end you've committed to 30% more story points than your estimated capacity.

Am I the only one who thinks monitors turned to portrait looks dumb and can’t possibly be more useful? The number one reason people give when I ask is that they can fit more code on the screen. I don’t know about you but I don’t have the ability to glance at an entire screen of code in portrait or landscape and understand it immediately.

I know, a rant about Mac vs Windows is nor fun nor original anymore.

But really, I restarted more times my Windows PC in one morning than my Mac in one year.

What should I do, while waiting for the n-th restart?

Re-fuck you.

"I'm not very smart with computers"

Why do people say that? Obviously you may not know 100% of what you can do with a computer, but NO ONE does! I get that some people know slightly more than others, but it all comes down to how much time you put into learning it!

And how do you even respond to that? "I know, I'm dumb." You can't ignore it or affirm it, you just have to awkwardly acknowledge and then change the subject. Ugh...

Me: “here’s a demo of the backend functionality you requested. We’ve got more work to do to make this production ready. Let me know your thoughts or if we need to make any changes, otherwise I’ll hand this off to the UX team, we’ll be ready to go live next month after other they deliver the front end”

PM: *telling stakeholders* “The new thing is done and ready for go live”

Me: *privately to PM* “who told you that the thing was ready for go live?”

PM: “You did”

Me: “I suggest you go read what I wrote a little more closely”

My internet went out the other day and I genuinely didn't know what to do with myself! Pacing around my apartment until it came back 2 hours later.
I think I need to get out more or at least get some friends but, you know... people.

You know what's rocket science? Serial ports.

Every freakin' datasheet states RX/TX but not from which side of the connector. Some look at it from the inside (RX for own receive), some from the outside (RX for receive of the counterpart). But never ever try to explain what is what, that would be too easy.

On literally any first attempt of connecting devices in my life it was wrong. And then you switch 'em and it's still wrong. Then you switch again, and it may work. Or you have to switch a few times more, you never know.

Those freaking bastard interfaces from hell.

You know something is ABSOLUTELY NOT RIGHT when you see this code.

Even more when you notice the parameter is not being used at all!

Holy crap, it is a web api deployed in production. Imagine it being called!

What is this hate towards fullstack developers ? I suppose more you know the better ? I think you can specialize later, based on your work task.

Fullstack is the way for learning addicts as me.

So I work for a company that has a recommendation system. If the person you recommend gets hired and works for more than 3 months you get a bonus.
$500 if you recommend a man
$700 if you recommend a woman

Isn’t this discrimination?

I know they are trying to incentivize women to get into tech but this is just ilegal and quite frankly not the best way to get results.

you wanna know what the most hilarious shit is? hackernews users AKA the 6 figure startup bros that "rule the world" in terms of code and software...

trying to argue the best way to build a website 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

here's some select quotes:

"I believe the most minimalistic and productive way is to just use php"

^ this guy must not know its 2023 now

"Unless you are a web developer I don't see the point of a CSS framework, it's much easier to roll your own."

^ this guy must not know the pain and suffering that is 'rolling your own' in CSS

"Sadly, I just don't have the time to generate the content I wanted to do, so the site sits."

^ this guy just... wait, what?

but you know what? these guys clearly know WAY more than me in terms of software, it's good they get infinite salad bar and prime rib every day at silicon valley's best and brightest!

please fucking kill me i want it to end

// MY FIRST LITTLE POEM
// --------------------------------------
// :D i'm proud :D
// --------------------------------------

(function(wine, exercise, diet, objPerson) {
var result = wine + exercise + diet;

if(result === 'eternal') {
console.log('\(*o*)/ wine + exercise + diet = "CAN I LIVE FOREVER!?!" \(*o*)/');
return '!!! ' + objPerson.firstName + ', YOU\'RE AMAZING !!!';

} else {
console.log(':p you don\'t know what you\'re missing! :p');
return objPerson.firstName + ', bro i expected more from you... :|';
}
})()

// ---------- THE END ----------

OK so... project I've been working on! It's a virtual processor that runs in the browser coded in JavaScript. OK so I know, I know, you must be thinking, "this is crazy!" "Why would she do this?!?!" and I understand that.

The idea of Tangible is is to see if I can get any tangible performance over JavaScript. I've posted a poorly drawn diagram below showing how tangible works.

The goal for tangible is to not use html, javascript, or CSS. Instead, you would use, say for instance, c++ and write your web page in that, then you compile it using my clang plugins and out pops your bytecode for Tangible. No more CSS, no more html, and no more javascript. Instead everything from a textbox to a video on your web page is an object, each object can be placed into a container, each container follows specific flag rules like: centerHorizontal or centerVertical.

Added to all of this you get the optimization of the llvm optimizer.

The amount of "full stack" developers I've seen that know nothing about networking, servers or security has broken me inside over the years. Like cmon man either learn that stuff or stick to doing frontend. Don't put user's data at risk just because you wanna earn a bit more money

Really weird writing a book and being one of the only 2 people to know the entire story line...

Even more so when you wrote something down and knowing it's significance to the bigger picture makes you tear up a little... Fucking weird man...

I've worked in a lot of customer service jobs and the more i have to deal with client, the more story starting to pile up. But something always come back and it's frustrating. The entitlement people have. I work as a Technical Support agent and for the most part i'm actually happy to help people with fixing their problems. But once in a while i always get that idiot that doesn't do anything i told him, blame me because "my fixes" don't work or just straight up don't listen to me and think they know better. Why the fuck do you call me if you need help if you're going to ignore everything i say and act like a fucking children. I'm not the one that call for technical support.

I know this place is more for Dev, but i'm sure those kind of things happen all the time when a client think he know more than the dev themselves...

The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.

I'm sure more than 50% of the Devs who claim to hate PHP either don't use it, or only claim to hate it because, well, you know... it's the Dev way.

4 years ago

Me: you probably shouldn’t use an IDE, you would learn a lot more about the language if you did things manually.

JavaFriend: Nah I’m all good

Me: alright you do you

4 years LATER

Me: *gets text* oh it’s from JavaFriend. *opens text*

JavaFriend: “dude so I decided to stop using my IDE’s and start doing things manually and I’m learning so much”

Me: ...
Me: I know. I’ve been doing it like this for a reason.

I know IDEs are helpful and good to use but personally I like to work without them and I feel it helps you learn the language more of you go without it.
If you have opinions on the topic in general lemme know.

Colleague from other department : Hey man I don't think my laptop can access to my company mail do you think you can fix it?

Me, newly working as an application programmer : Nah sorry man, perhaps you could ask that technician by the server room. He will know more hardware than I do.

Colleague : But aren't you also an IT specialist?

Me : Did you just assume my occupation?

This Book....

Before doing any systems programming you should definitely read this book... most people think they know what they are doing but in fact they are completely clueless and the worst part is you don’t realize how clueless you are... you don’t know what you don’t know nor do you know how much you really don’t know.. a most people are part of this group, including myself lol.

Computers are much more than a bunch of CPUs, buses and peripherals. (Embedded folks realize this). But this goes beyond embedded this is a systems book, on architecture of computers in general.

Learning only java and the java/C# python and the others SDK/Api and spending your life with horse blinders for what’s going on below only sets you up for failure in the future, and when you that point it’s gonna be a shocker. Could be tomorrow could be 20 years from now, but most people with those horseblinders get to that point and have that “experience” no avoiding the inevitable lol.

I really enjoyed this book in their quantitative approach to teaching the subject. Especially understanding parallelism and multi core systems.

TIL if you know the password for a WIFi SSID, you can replicate it with your hardware. All devices that have credentials for that SSID will connect to yours if your signal is stronger. The encryption just needs to be the same (wpa2/wep) The underlying UUID doesn’t matter.

Not bad for a quick and dirty man-in-the-middle attack. The WiFi spec needs a bit more work.
TLS all the things!

Looked into my spam/junk folder and found this. I don't have a C-Panel account, just so you know. I took a look into the link to check it out. It's quite obviously an attempt at phishing. (more screenshots in the comments)

Biggest mistake I've made in my life is assuming other people knew more than me and asking for advice and integrating their advice. I suffered many years being tortured by terrible advice that had no actual relation or usefulness in reality but caused me stress to have to follow, and I was too inexperienced to know any of this.

The other problem with bad advice is; how do you know it's bad advice? If you got the advice when you were naive, and you followed it, never strayed from it, you will still be naive in that area, because of the dutifulness by which you stuck to that advice. You literally imprison yourself, forever, especially if you are very good at putting effort in and have high conscientiousness, reliability. You will never know you were wrong.

You have a JavaScript application. You have to keep up with stupid devs that don't know TypeScript because you don't have the time to let them study it and they get demotivated when they can't do stuff so fine, you keep it JS. You use JSDoc to write the documentation. You miss using TypeScript so you start doing some @typedef's. Oh your linter gets it and starts behaving as a substitute of TypeScript. You get excited and write more and more @typedef's! ... until they get so complicated that you start documenting *that*...

Job hunt update:

- Rejected by one via email
- Applying to two more today
- Ghosted (?) by the other 5 so far

but hey, it's only been over two weeks for those 5 others! why should i expect efficiency from a company that wants a TeN X DeVeLoPeR? I'll bring my decade+ experience and you can just get around to it... you know, when you feel like!

🤡

Do you know that KDE is more lighter than MATE? In the screenshot the RAM usage you can see is from a live. The same test on the same PC with MATE take 900 MB and with GNOME 1,5 GB. Test made with the latest LTS of Ubuntu.

We need more cool stuff to put in our profile pic
Like chainsaw our skull on the desk
Shotgun lying on the ground
Quad-copper hovering on top
Controller cars
...
You know what I mean

!rant

I asked my teacher if i would be allowed to use lists in final exam. (If you read my last rants about him you'll know he has a fetish with arrays) He allowed it! I'm feeling so relieved!
(He changed his mind more than once for the last few weeks, but this time he made a clear decision and he will stick with it. He even promised it.)
No more fear now, I know I can do that 😁

Boss: What's the estimate?
Dev: A month
---
Boss: What if we add one more engineer?
Dev: Two months
---
...
Boss: If we add a PM
Dev: Trust me. You don't wanna know

The one skill I know that I am really proud of is GIT.

Put me into trouble with merge conflicts.
Saved my life with its version control.
Always had an adventurous ride with Git. Hope to have many more such rides and get to learn more about you.

👋 HEY 👋
✋ DID YOU KNOW ❓
🕵️‍♀️USING EMOJIS IN YOUR 🅱LOG POST 👶
👼WILL MAKE YOU MORE PROFESSIONAL? 👩‍💻👩‍💻

🈹*this post was made by the emoji gang🈹

To all the developers with a permanent job:

Do you guys still reference the web when working on a project or you know everything and code everything perfectly w/o help?

Just wanted to know if I need more practice with my skills or am I good to go.

My brain: Its a company that works with web technologies and the job is more of a devops job they wont expect you to know cpp compilation process.

Interviewer: Last question tell me in detail what happens when you compile a cpp program.

There is a constructed language called Tokipona. It was made to be the easiest language, and it only contains like 137 words or so.

This language is a perfect demonstration of “expressivity”. Tokipona is not very expressive. Before you know it, your sentence is obscenely long, and you didn't even convey the full meaning of what you wanted to say.

It's also the case with “easy” programming languages and frameworks. Code quantities rise exponentially, and the more code you have, the more bugs there are. There is no magic. And then you have to debug it. Not so easy, huh?

How is it that VPs appear less and less competent the more you get to know them?

Me: Can you write the exact code one more time but in C language this time, so we can see it?

Other: But why, what's the problem?

Me: I don't know, maybe is garbage collector which collected all your code because IT LOOKS LIKE TRASHHHHH :@:@:@:@

I think this is interesting and evil at the same time.

You make a huuuuuuuge(like...YUGE level) code base available to a lot of people marketing certain things at an enterprise level and for small companies to use. You make sure people implement a lot of shit with your stack.

Then you tell them that shit will cost money from now on.
And because they might already have a large codebase they can't just change it to whatevs.

Shit is brilliant, moronic and funny at the same time.

Wondering what Gosling is thinking about this whole deal.

If anything this whole thing will make people switch to the excellent OpenJDK platform more and more. I know that starting with Android N google had already moved to the OpenJDK.

Oh well. Wonder if this would make Java developers more vailable and hard to come by cuz I still love the Java programming language and like the monies.

And know I have no soul.

Nothing more refreshing than seeing the code definitely do the opposite of what its line comments say it does in the first file you open to get to know the new project 😅

Who the fuck comes to the idea of printing the local IP address on the Fucking screen?

Yes, I know that it is not remotely accessable (only when there is no port forwarding set for that ip), but think of that this way: Someone manages to get in that network. Without scanning the network, you would have your first victim. You could analyzer the traffic of that victim and find more victims. And so on

Day no.1 with Googles scholarship course ad udacity..

I learned that a line of code is "pew" so many lines of code is "pew pew pew". Now I'm ready to do serious android app development.

Ever have one of those days where you're just:

"Man i don't want to get into THAT right now, don't know why but I just don't...."

Then a task jumps out at you.

"Oh shit that, yeah I want to do that!"

I don't know what the difference is but sometimes one task seems more motivating for no reason at all.

Me: Damn you good tasty coffee!!! Now I can't drink coffee anywhere else than at home and (more) expensive coffeebars!!!

Coffee: But you love me!!

Me: I know!! That's the fucking problem!!

Always weirds me out when people talk about developing "the" blockchain instead of "a" blockchain. Like...you guys know there's more than one, right? At this point there's actually kind of a lot of them.

Reply to a recruiter today quoting her email:

You will end up with more qualified people if you don't use blatantly fictitious statements like. "While it's not often that I like to email people I don' t know (especially those in different cities!)" You're a recruiter using LinkedIn, the activity of recruiting is partially doing exactly the above.

No interest, have a good day.

Man fuuuuuuck, there's nothing more frustrating and scary than fucking up a local git repo. Because you know for a fact you won't be able to restore it

And I even had god damn backups of the .git folder. But reverting leaves me with more files than I started with fuuuck

You know the old adage "cost, speed, quality, pick two."

I've come up with my own.

Shitty jobs you'll forever be stuck in with no way out: unreasonable demands and coworkers that drive you insane, pay below the poverty line, no sleep.

Pick two.
More likely, pick three.

Don't you just love it when a department buys a software for the company without consulting IT and Data Management departments? You know to discuss integration, flexibility, compatibility and all that?

Don't you love it even more when the users of this new software then complain about the different tools that have to learn and the workflow being completely scattered?

But hey, they work in administration, so I'm sure they know what they are doing. ⚡⚡⚡

Question, have you ever felt like you have been pigeonholed into specific languages? I am feeling more and more like I am getting forced onto projects because to few people know the language (LabVIEW). getting tired of it, and not sure what the way out is.

I tried to go for a job as a ReactJS junior dev.. I got my first interview and they liked my prototype.. but..

A week later they reply: "We decided not to go with you because we hired an expert in ReactJS".

Err.. really? You're hiring expert-level ReactJS developers for a junior position?! What the frig.
You want to know what I think? This whole "It's ok that you don't know everything, you'll learn on the job" thing is a hoax. No, the job market doesn't want novices. With every single interview, I'm met with: "but you're not an expert and we can't afford that".

This reminds me of the best advice my professor (seasoned expert in the field, real engineer with more than 20 years experience) once gave me:

"The job market doesn't have the time nor patience to mollycoddle you. When you enter it, you have to already know things to an expert degree because companies want value. They're hiring you because you have these skills and knowledge.
You have to already know what they ask before they ask it. You're required to know things by yesterday, so to speak. It is an exigent industry out there. This is why we bring you the foundations - so that you go further on your own and you can take on any problem"

Soundcloud used to know how to shuffle your liked tracks. Not it only shuffles the tracks that are in the playlist and the playlist only contains the (literally) visible tracks.

Basically, If you want to shuffle more than 30 songs at once you hace to scroll down for it...

Do you wanna know the secret to getting people's attention? I could tell you but you'll have to ... [read more]

I want to get into game dev, but don't know which engine to choose, Unreal or Unity. Both would be free, because Unreal is free for students. I already know C++, but I think it depends more on the API than the language itself. Maybe I would like to create games for Android too.
Which one would you recommend? Any experience?

Can’t believe my sister said that the web pages I develop probably get more head than I do... she’s actually right, you know

I hate this so much! I clicked the link because I wanted to see what was on the other side! I know I'm leaving YouTube, and if you want me to stay so that I spend more time on your shitty platform, just make it target="_blank".

Whaaaat? Now i can't even say in public that i would like one slave robot in the future because it would sound too nasty or pollitically incorrect?

Don't know about you but... python sounds more nasty to me...

Know your tools. Take some time to explore them. Knowing shortcuts, the capabilities of your IDE (and plug-ins), libraries and many more will look you like a wizard to others and can save you many efforts.

I have been working with git for years now, and I could never work on a project (regardless if big or small) without it. Its great.
However, just a couple of days ago I learned about the git flow branching model.
Even tho I also worked with branching on a daily basis for years, I did not know about this model. And I have to admit: Its awesome.
If you don't know it, I highly recommend you to look it up. It really improves the already organized workflow with git even more. :)

Just realized that after 3 months of continuous samsung s9 use my phone is still as fast as it was when i got it out the box.

Man I love this stupid phone so much. Everything opens up so fast and this sob is as smooth as an iphone when it comes to the speed.

Pure goodness. Still would like to try a more pure Android environment u know? Like back when nexus was still a thing. I don't really dig the pixel phones too much but know that I am on a more open carrier and I can use phones like the one plus series I think i know what my next phone would be.

Nothing personal samsung, you have been good ans loyal, but i want to play with more phones.

I really love smartphones.

The more frustrated I get with a project the less my commit messages are expressive about the code changes and the more the end up reflecting my disposition. I'm sorry to all future employees who may want to know what I did but hopefully you get a laugh.

When you know your product sucks and even you won't support it. Too bad for those two windows phone users left in the world.

Working on a Project. Forced to use xaml I hate xaml. C# is so much more efficient/ easier. Now at least I have an excuse
. 😤

I fuckin give up.
You can't use Android without fuckin gapps, you can but it's fuckin miserable.
And microG still sucks (I respect all the effort from the devs tho)
And there are not enough roms that implement signature spoofing
Almost all the open source apps look like shit and are outdated (also appreciate the devs efforts)
.
.
.
YOU KNOW WHAT GOOGLE JUST TAKE MY DATA
I DONT GIVE A FUCK ANY MORE 😡😤😭
*Flashes Opengapps pico*

The only thing we can do is make a joke about the other bots that are not always in their own mind or if it's just an issue for them and then the other one ☝️ and then you don't get them in your mail to the right place for a long list of all that people you know you are not so far out and it's a joke that is why you haven't even paid for it and it's a lot easier for them but it's just like 👍 is not just the way of things like 👍 is the one ☝️ you don't have it on it but you can't even get the word for that one ☝️ or something that's what it looks it up 🆙 is it a lot better then it's not the one ☝️ thing that you don't have it on it or so you know it looks bad it's a joke it's a bad joke and you can't find a way you don't have a lot to me but I don't know 🤷‍♂️ or you want me to be like 👍 but you do not have any more than me I don't know 🤷‍♂️ but that's what I'm talking you know that I'm going through the whole time I'm going through the wrong 😑 thing I've been to you to see if this one ☝️ or I just want you to do something like 👍

you know when you start with computer at 9 years old... and you hate calligraphy class and typing feels the same and thus you skip it and now you are hitting a wall because you are not using enough fingers to be more productive at the keyboard!! 😡

I right now have a rag over my hands at the keyboard and am taking typing lessons... and my brain is not happy about it!

Dear bluetooth headset,
I know your battery is low, thanks for the notice. I have 1 hour work left, after that you will get your charge. I also know you underestimate your own power and can do more than an hour on reserve.

So suck it up and stop being a whiny bitch blaring your damn "battery low"-beeps into my ears. It's way too loud and beeping every 10 seconds will only strain your power reserves and my nerves.

Yours sincerely,
dev13

The only thing more druggy than devRant is the Hot Network Questions section on you know where

Let's focus/master computer architectures, coding paradigms, datastructures. Everything comes after that...the problem with todays academics is that they are more focused on immediately deploying students to industry; theyre more focused on teaching specific frameworks and specific language instead of teaching how things work...i bet most students (at least in my country) are having troubles with endianess or encoding or even byte manipulation or what a thread is....If im going to be the teacher for example of an oop subject, ill let the student choose the language they want as long as the oop paradigm is intact ,it will be fine.. i dont friggin care whether you know vue or angular or swing if you dont even know what a callback is..

Was going through my rants and started deleting ones that I thought were dumb. There were more than a handful. What I did *not* know was that your +1 status doesn't keep past +1's. If you delete a rant - those +1's go away...lol serves me right for posting sub par rants in the first place, dont you think? 😝

I think the one of the more common reason for imposter syndrome is that a lot of smart people constantly get told as children the "you're so smart/capable, you can do everything!" too much, and when you hear it enough times, it gets to you, so you think everything is just easy. And then when they start hitting roadblocks, instead of helping or explaining that it's normal for things to be hard and it's normal to fail, usually parents and teachers and whatnot tell them "Oh it's okay, don't worry about it, you're smart, you'll get it" and so they at first it works, maybe it just takes more time but they manage, but as things get harder and they still put little effort because "don't worry, you're so smart, you learn so fast/easy" and as they find out more and more things they don't umderstand or don't know they start to feel a dissonance, which builds anxiety.
And this is where I thinks it actually starts: at some points there comes a situation where they either share this anxiety with someone or someone notices their worry, and(at least from what I've seen from others) usually the response they get is something along the lines of: "Nah, you're just worrying too much, you're smarter than you think, don't be so down on yourself, you need to worry less", which, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not sure telling someone that thinks he has a problem that he doesn't have a problem, helps their worrying.
And on one hand the amount if things they don't get/know/understand or fail at grows(cuz you can't just be good at EVERYTHING, so the more things you know about, the more things you don't understand) while mentally still being in that "Wait a minute, you're smarter than this, you should be getting this!" mindset that's been drilled into them, and so at some point the illusion shatters, and they start to think "Maybe I'm not so smart after all", and because they think they were wrong about their level, they feel like they have "oversold" themselves in the past and that makes any past accomplishments feel like lucky accidents instead: "If I'm not actually smart, the things I did manage to achieve must've been just accidental", which makes them feel like they've lied to themselves and everyone else when they "took credit for an accidents" and that their life is just a snowball of pretending.

Now, is that actually a cause or is it another one of my crazy 1AM ramblings? I don't know xD
I'm not an expert in any of this and I don't really know any psychology so hell if I know if that's how any of this works but that's just my theory of one of the reasons why. *shrug*. I've had this theory for years, but I don't know.
It at least makes sense to me, but not everything that makes sense is true soooo.

Anyways, wall of text is over.

Oh, and for anyone struggling with imposter syndrome: I just want you to know, it's okay to fail, and it's okay to not know shit, especially in the dev industry where every "insignificant" detail can have an entire rabbit hole of expertise behind it, nobody can expect to know every part of it. And it doesn't make you any less smart no matter how much you fail. Tnis shit is hard, so I hope you stay strong and I hope you succeed in whatever it is you're struggling with.
*Massive virtual hug* <3

Why don’t you like sharing your salary with coworkers? I tell people exactly what I am paid if the conversation comes up. It helps to know where you stand, i.e. if you’re being under paid or if you should ask for more in the next review cycle.

Working at a start-up company and i must confess its blood sucking like you've got some vampires sucking life out of you. I have to work like a donkey or camel and sometimes feel like am right in the middle of hell , lots of requirements, changes, fixes, updates, and more products stuffs that pissed you up, I don't know what am feeling right now but I only know am coding and have to take some shit feelings out!!!!

Man...
When you know you can't spend more time in your computer.
Woke up with a fucked knee... Got a fucking arrow in the knee.
Now, I can't walk, I can't sit, looks like a ball...

If you are a dream stealing cunt then kindly fuck off. I don't know you, I don't want to know you. Climb into whatever hole you came out of and just eat shit.

Nothing in this life raises my ire more than people who hate on others daring to dream. The haters don't add to society and are just stealing air.

When I saw a blog post said you need more than 1 cup of coffee to get AWS configuration done, I didn't believe it. Now I know... it's true. very true. It takes forever to make use of your config. By the time it's done, you already switch to something else.

User A: So, we have some issue with uploading files. You guys need to fix it.
Me: Yeah, sure. We'll put it in our issue log. I'll let you know when its fixed so you can try uploading.
> Solving other issues which they said was more important.
A few days later:
User A: Uhhh..so guys, we have this issue while uploading..
Me: Yes, I know. We'll solve it and let you know when you can test it again.
> Working on that uploading issue
User A: So, I sent you an email. Its about the file upload. It doesnt seem to be working

Is it really hard to understand when I said to wait till we get it fixed?

Some people be like:

MAN: Are you at office?
SE: No, I'm on a airplane at 35000 feet;
MAN: While you are up there, you should write more code. After all you know that bugs won't survive at 35000 feet.
SE:(sighs and facepalms) hmm that a very good point....
MAN: plus you are closer to the cloud, so server code should run faster or with lower latency at least.
SE: (jumps off the plane)

I get the opportunity to talk with a pro today:

"Pro": hey do you know how to use tool X?

Me: well I've used it sometimes for simple stuff but I've always wanted to learn more advanced stuff.

"Pro": let me show you
*repeats the basics that are available in every single online tutorial and are tbh pretty obvious*

Me: yeah I know that but how do you use function A with option B under circumstance C? (Because I've encountered that recently)

"Pro": Oh... emm... I don't know. I don't think you'll ever need that use case tho

Friendly reminder that if you disable remote content in your email client, the feature that almost every email client allows, there will be NO WAY for all those bloody spammer corporations to know that you even opened the email. I also prefer my emails with no graphics, I find them more beautiful that way.

Listen dude I get it, you've been in more of a Systems Admin role for a long time, you haven't really worked on a devlike team.

I can be patient I can be understanding. But when you break the build you need to fix it.

Yes I know you didn't change any of the files that are now failing, but you the pipeline is no longer deploying and so we can't fix anything.

Okay dude we are being prevented from deploying because you broke the build, you need to fix it. It's stopping everyone else.

DUDE FIX THE FLIPPING BUILD EVERYONE IS WAITING FOR YOU TO FIX THAT!

Seriously I know we should be patient with people learning new things, but some days it is difficult.

Teach students the importance of clean code/architecture and testing. Even if they dont yet understand the more complex topics such as architecture, they should understand why quality is important and that software is a craft more than a science. You cant just apply principle X and insert design pattern Y and profit++. You actually have to think and constantly improve. AND TEST.
Think I would probably also cover things like build automation and continuous delivery. These are now important things for junior devs to know about going into companies.

I feel like saying "I know C#" (or Java or other similar languages) to mean that you know it as a language as opposed to more of a framework is ridiculous. We should say what programming language level we know (high, mid, low...) since the difference between say C# and Java is pretty much the same as the difference between say WinForms and WPF. Depending on which two languages and which two frameworks you choose it can be a much bigger difference between the frameworks than the languages.
In a CV I'd like to say "I know x-level languages with experience in [actual programming language + frameworks]" instead of saying I know C# and then recruiters and HR people and such assume I don't know Java at all, but know MVC, WebForms and whatever else even though I might specialise in something else and would take me pretty much the same to get proficient in Java as it would take me to get proficient in that framework or something that's technically C#.
It just makes so much more sense to me. As a dev you're supposed to know the principles, the syntax should be secondary. A pointer is a pointer regardless of it's marked with a * or IntPtr or just a value in a register with no special marking that it's a pointer...
Can we, as devs, come up with something like this?

Thought: Googling and using Stack Overflow is the fast food equivalent of coding. Sure you get an answer, but it's the minimal "nutritional value" you need to survive. Whereas if you had to go through the whole doc to do something, you were bound to stumble on a few things you didn't know, giving you much more knowledge in the end. Does that make sense?

boss: numbers being aside. Why is this happening 40% of the time.

me: (thinking) wtf what an idiot. wtf do you think?!

type: (politely) Well the number being wrong suggests it's *not* happening 40% of the time.

I don't know who I hate more, myself for not point out how dumb that question is. or the person asking the question.

Today we got our first real contract for my software company. It fills me with the most confidence as I scroll this feed of people having the same issues as we do. Customers wanting more than was agreed, customers expecting us to know what they want before talking to us etc... Thank you devRant!

Recruiters on LinkedIn:

"Apologies for this direct approach, I'm sure you're not looking right now and get messages like this all the time, but I have this opportunity that I think you'd be perfect for.

It's not in a language you know or a framework you're even aware of, but I know you're right for the job. It's not anywhere near you either. Hell, it's not even on the same planet as you, but fuck it, let's give it a whirl!

If you think this right for you, or not, just call me and we can talk some more about this (even though I have no idea what THIS is!). If not, forward this on to 1000 other people or you will be eaten by a dinosaur tomorrow!

To be honest, I don't really know who you are or what your skills are. I'm just spamming you through InMail.

Laters, Nerd!"

Friday: Expectations vs Reality

Expectation: Work on work for half the day then work on side projects for the rest of the day. Consider it a good day.

Reality: Work on work for whole day. Then have your boss set the expectation to have a project completed by Monday morning that you know will take 3 more days. Hence making you work the weekend to try to get it done in time. -.-

I like there's a new ECMAScript version but ECMAScript 2015 didn't replace ECMAScript 5 as BrowserJS

huh the more you know

My parents on the one side love my passion to programming (it’s actually because of my dad who introduced me to computers), but on the flip side they think that I should focus more on school - which is true, but you know... It’s hard to stop with something you like, isn’t it?

You know you should tidy up some space when your ssd has more space left then your hard drive

I still have a second hard drive, but I'm too lazy to move either my steam games or my programs over there...
The time will hit me when the last GB has been used

The more I learn frontend the more I like it. Imagine, actually becoming good at something makes you hate it less! I know, I know, I was shocked too.

Completely unrelated question:
if you have all the mods for the factors of a product, is it possible to derive the factors from the modulus?

(lol you know what this is about).

The product "fingerprinting" I talked about a while back is starting to allow me to find the modulus of factors, and I want to know what I can do with that if anything.

I don't want to start any wars in the comments, but what do you devs prefer: iOS or Android?

I'm not saying one is better. I'm just genuinely curious what other devs use. I prefer to use Android because I can do more with my phone.

I'm actually curious what most of you use, so feel free to tag other ranters you know in the comments. I've already commented the few I could come up with off the top of my head.

Did you know, any time you copy text on Windows 10, windows saves the url of the page you copied it from?

Don't know where it is saved, or how long it is cached, but the more you know.

Steps to replicate:
Go into your browser, copy any text from any site. Close the window.
Open one note. Paste text. Theres the url.

I think clipboard saves the url when you copy text from a browser, dunno. but its interesting.

Why are most jobs just about web development or mobile development? (I'm not criticizing I'm a mobile developer myself)

Is it JUST purely because of the market need and people using them?

Share your opinion on this one and what other career paths in CS do you know about you think would benefit from more people in them.

Feeling !@~!#@!@# when you come to know that you are not invited to meeting where architectural design is being discussed....and you will be the implementor for the sh*t stuff....

Its more p*ss*ng when you know the architect you work with doesn't know anything...and you need to impl and support it :(

If you have 5 classes using the same postfix... and inside, 4 methods en each, called EXACTLY THE SAME... Please, create at least an abstract class!! or else next week you'll have to make the EXACT same change 5 times!!! or more!!... I don't know man! just saying... Patterns exist for a reason!

The only difference between a beginner dev and a veteran dev is that the beginner is afraid to touch what he doesn't know, while the veteran embraces it.

Accept that you don't know all and will never know everything. Even so, learn something new everyday. Fight your ego when it tries to make you keep only what you know and reject everything else. Fight that bastard.

The world needs less "I know", and more "I wanna know". And remember, devs should be in the "I wanna know" team.

sudo rm - rf ego
sudo apt-get knowledge-upgrade

You know what I hate? Git commit messages stating 'fixed tests' or 'fixed docs' or 'fixed integration problems'. You did not fix anything, fuckhead. You updated the code, introducing more bugs as usual. FIXED?! NO, UPDATED! That's what I hate.

(was just talking to Root now, and it reminded me of this)

You know what I fucking hate about Android phones? They do stupid shit like update your keyboard WHILE you are typing. Hate Apple as I may for having inferior hardware and ridiculous pricing, the iPhone is more worth having than Android. I simply find the features a lot better executed on iPhone than Android, almost across the board

One of the main problems i always have is lack of sleep. You know how us devs get when our mind gets in the zone.

But recently there's more that is keeping me up, altcoins and the whole cryptotrading hollabaloo.

I just can't stop checking my phone. This is starting to be an addiction. I need help.

I'm getting more and more fed up with my fellow colleagues who encounter errors in the execution of their code and come to me like bumbling idiots..." I don't know ow what's wrong ... It's not working"

DID YOU READ THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE? I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE IT TELLS YOU EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT...EVEN IF ITS NOT 100% CLEAR GOOGLE IT. BET YOU FIND THE ANSWER

To add insult to idiocracy...I recently over heard grumblings of being displeased at current level - fuck off you lazy ass child - if you can't read an error and Google for the damned solution in today's era search engines and developer assistance, you don't deserve to call yourself a "Senior Developer"

People like to act like there's some great secret to becoming a competent developer...I'm posit over half is simple reading comprehension