Welcome to the future guys.

Today I messaged my CTO 👩‍💻 ,
"If you were a repo, I'd commit to you everyday"
and didn't get a reply. What will happen tomorrow ?

You know as a FOSS developer with no company affiliation the "I am once again asking for your financial support" meme is truer every second

I'm sad and broke please help

*random person stars my repo on Github*

Me: Fuck yes give me those stars!

*checks user's profile, has starred 40k repositories*

Me: Take that star back you whore.

Stolen

Debugging on production server be like

Want one

Interviewer: Why do you want to work for Facebook?

Me: I'm keen on protecting people's data and want them to have a good user experience

Interviewer:

Me:

Interviewer:

Me: haha I'm joking I don't give a shit

Interviewer: haha omg I was like whaaatttt lmao

src: https://twitter.com/ArfMeasures/...

This is great

List of things that my fucking corporate proxy blocks

* Maven
* The NPM registry
* Github

List of things that aren't blocked

* Google drive
* Twitter
* Porn

Half my mobile data is burned away by NPM sinkholes. Fuck this place.

😂😂😂😂

Hahahaha

Does anyone else get this super lazy feeling where you want to write code but you don't wanna have to actually type it? Like I'm here in bed thinking about my projects but I don't wanna grab my laptop and get to work I just wanna think my code into existence.

😆😆😆😆😆😆

not a rant. I like poetry. Am a poemfag.
Be very impressed. VERY IMPRESSED!
Okay, well, just cringe through it at least. Smile and nod. I hope formatting doesn't butcher this.

"A King"
a king came to me one day
and claimed you will be my son!
and fame, and fortune, and all things good
yours your cup to overflow, overrun!

happiness and princesses, acclaim to your name
a life of leisure and of ease
land rich in treasures buried,
and swarthy ships on deep seas!

All these things, of emperors and kings
Will be yours to command! Though I warn
you my fair son, it is not as it seems
a charmed life is not grand

for though the riches of this earth
at your call, at your hand,
should find you at my passing, in your wealth
it is a kings fate to be damned

wealth to grave you can not take
and princesses demanding wives are one to make
and ships in harbor soon they rot
and health in age gives way to ache
and land is lost which once hard fought
truly that is rare the happiness which can be bought!

so upon the kingly head, heavy rests the (golden) crown
and though surrounded by apparent friends
never must he let his guard down

and ease which spoiled by fear of loss
magnified by all he'd gained
weary king, my boy, tis his lot,
to die a thousand times,
but never grow old again,

so heed these words my boy
it is not the wealth, or fame, or ease
that makes a man great my son,
but his words and his deeds!

nice to see

change your routers dns server in case your vodafone (germany) internet keeps you from getting shit done today.

Let's comment out this block of code so later we know we have this feature and bring it back if we need it.

Later: commented code everywhere, literally everywhere!!! Shit

9:00 AM: Ahh, first day back at work.
9:05 AM: AAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I want my vacation back.

For the first time in 18 years, it only takes two keys to type the year. (2002)

Me looking at a 3 year old branch that needs to be rebased to current master

My favorite year as a dev + why?

It would have to be this year because ..

- The 'pointy hair' bosses I've ranted about on this forum have been fired or they quit. I almost kinda forgot what it felt like to talk to managers not feel like "Good Lord, how does this guy put on his shoes"
- I took over the position of my nemesis (his choice, not mine) who quit (he quit before he was fired) and deleted+replaced all remnants of his code/life's work. More out of spite than necessity.
- Reaping the benefits of properly logging/reporting errors and developers able to fix those errors, nearly eliminating those 3:00AM 'System is down' phone calls.
- Able to take time to learn new technologies (learning React right now) and not constantly running around putting out fires.
- Son just graduated college at age 21.

How many of you are excited about The Witcher on Netflix?
Me = 🤩
#byegameofthrones

So True...

My code is FINE!

continued…
I'm In Canada. A woke HR lady hires an African guy despite him plagiarizing code and lying through an interview. First day he surfs soccer websites so I confront it and HR lady basically calls me a racist and to watch my back.

A second African new-hire comes into the office today and he seems quite capable in an area of specialization for our team. So I ask if we can have him on our team because he has skills. The exec decides to look at the costing for him and goes, "HOLY SHIT WHY ARE WE PAYING ANYONE THAT MUCH?" She looks at the résumé of the new guy and finds out that he is only at intermediate level in his specialization. So I say, "It could be worse. The other guy flat out lied through his interview and he got hired anyway." I forward the emails where I recommended against hiring the other guy and why.

My exec, who is a company stakeholder, opens the pricing list for recent hires. It is obvious that if you are not not white you get paid way above market value for your skill level. Exec is pissed off on a level I never knew was possible.

We make a call from the board room only to find out that the head of HR (also an executive) is driving this. My exec tells me to give her the room. The yelling was so loud everyone could hear what was said from outside the boardroom. At one point the HR lady says, "Just because we could get them cheaper doesn't mean that we should… We pay that much because it is 'the right thing to do'." My executive goes completely silent for a few seconds then in a super aggressive way says.

"…I am going to have your FUCKING head for this. Then I will make sure that you NEVER get a job in HR again for the rest of my natural life. ONLY ONE of us will survive this. YOU are the one pissing away profit. So get ready because I'm going to drown you and your team like a bag full of unwanted puppies." Then she hung up the Polycom. She came out about a minute later and kicked the office manager out of his office and sat there all day making calls and sending emails.

https://devrant.com/rants/2337768/...

Better be good.

Someone donated to me today for one of my open source projects.

I don't even know what to say. Thank you 🙏

God works in mysterious ways...

this guy found 1 mysterious way.

this is how I feel often