Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple APILearn More
Search - "witcher"
Choosing a pc to buy.
- kids: "can it run minecraft?"
- casual gamers: "can it run overwatch?"
- serious gamers: "can it run witcher 3?"
- business people: "can it run several excel sheets?"
- me: "can it run linux?"48
FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!
Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !27
Making ciri from the witcher upcoming tv series a black asian minority ( although she has has elf blood . Elfs are white not black ).
Introducing random gay movie scenes just for the sake of diversity.
What's next ? Making a documentary about linus torvalds with him being a black asian gay feminist ?12
Day #01 of my brother's switch to Linux:
So far so good, he's really happy with the Linux (surprisingly). The Witcher 3, Payday 2, Minecraft run flawlessly, although I had to make some small configurations in disk mounting, because of the fact that the games disk is still in NTFS file system4
Apparently yelling at someone "hey you! Yes you! You got water on the brain" is not as funny as I had hoped... Perhaps I should have checked if they were witcher fans before hand...7
What the fuck?
My Witcher 3 save state has vanished.
I didn't delete that!
What the actual fuck?
EoS1: This is the continuation of my previous rant, "The Ballad of The Six Witchers and The Undocumented Java Tool". Catch the first part here: https://devrant.com/rants/5009817/...
The Undocumented Java Tool, created by Those Who Came Before to fight the great battles of the past, is a swift beast. It reaches systems unknown and impacts many processes, unbeknownst even to said processes' masters. All from within it's lair, a foggy Windows Server swamp of moldy data streams and boggy flows.
One of The Six Witchers, the Wild One, scouted ahead to map the input and output data streams of the Unmapped Data Swamp. Accompanied only by his animal familiars, NetCat and WireShark.
Two others, bold and adventurous, raised their decompiling blades against the Undocumented Java Tool beast itself, to uncover it's data processing secrets.
Another of the witchers, of dark complexion and smooth speak, followed the data upstream to find where the fuck the limited excel sheets that feeds The Beast comes from, since it's handlers only know that "every other day a new one appears on this shared active directory location". WTF do people often have NPC-levels of unawareness about their own fucking jobs?!?!
The other witchers left to tend to the Burn-Rate Bonfire, for The Sprint is dark and full of terrors, and some bigwigs always manage to shoehorn their whims/unrelated stories into a otherwise lean sprint.
At the dawn of the new year, the witchers reconvened. "The Beast breathes a currency conversion API" - said The Wild One - "And it's claws and fangs strike mostly at two independent JIRA clusters, sometimes upserting issues. It uses a company-deprecated API to send emails. We're in deep shit."
"I've found The Source of Fucking Excel Sheets" - said the smooth witcher - "It is The Temple of Cash-Flow, where the priests weave the Tapestry of Transactions. Our Fucking Excel Sheets are but a snapshot of the latest updates on the balance of some billing accounts. I spoke with one of the priestesses, and she told me that The Oracle (DB) would be able to provide us with The Data directly, if we were to learn the way of the ODBC and the Query"
"We stroke at the beast" - said the bold and adventurous witchers, now deserving of the bragging rights to be called The Butchers of Jarfile - "It is actually fewer than twenty classes and modules. Most are API-drivers. And less than 40% of the code is ever even fucking used! We found fucking JIRA API tokens and URIs hard-coded. And it is all synchronous and monolithic - no wonder it takes almost 20 hours to run a single fucking excel sheet".
Together, the witchers figured out that each new billing account were morphed by The Beast into a new JIRA issue, if none was open yet for it. Transactions were used to update the outstanding balance on the issues regarding the billing accounts. The currency conversion API was used too often, and it's purpose was only to give a rough estimate of the total balance in each Jira issue in USD, since each issue could have transactions in several currencies. The Beast would consume the Excel sheet, do some cryptic transformations on it, and for each resulting line access the currency API and upsert a JIRA issue. The secrets of those transformations were still hidden from the witchers. When and why would The Beast send emails, was still a mistery.
As the Witchers Council approached an end and all were armed with knowledge and information, they decided on the next steps.
The Wild Witcher, known in every tavern in the land and by the sea, would create a connector to The Red Port of Redis, where every currency conversion is already updated by other processes and can be quickly retrieved inside the VPC. The Greenhorn Witcher is to follow him and build an offline process to update balances in JIRA issues.
The Butchers of Jarfile were to build The Juggler, an automation that should be able to receive a parquet file with an insertion plan and asynchronously update the JIRA API with scores of concurrent requests.
The Smooth Witcher, proud of his new lead, was to build The Oracle Watch, an order that would guard the Oracle (DB) at the Temple of Cash-Flow and report every qualifying transaction to parquet files in AWS S3. The Data would then be pushed to cross The Event Bridge into The Cluster of Sparks and Storms.
This Witcher Who Writes is to ride the Elephant of Hadoop into The Cluster of Sparks an Storms, to weave the signs of Map and Reduce and with speed and precision transform The Data into The Insertion Plan.
However, how exactly is The Data to be transformed is not yet known.
Will the Witchers be able to build The Data's New Path? Will they figure out the mysterious transformation? Will they discover the Undocumented Java Tool's secrets on notifying customers and aggregating data?
This story is still afoot. Only the future will tell, and I will keep you posted.6
I love open source and all that fun stuff but I am very unimpressed by having to use GNU/Linux based OS after the last fuck up... the lack of games, stuff that actually works, the almost constant need to compile something and the need to have DDG open at all times because something broke. I mean why the fuck do I need to install libcurl3:i386(for 32 bit programs and games) if there is already libcurl4 and why the actual fuck does it conflict?!... Why the fuck do I need to glue together and compile drivers for my printer?! And they only have "beta support" so like half of the functions that the printer would normally have... Why the fuck don't any games work? Witcher 2? Nope, you click launch and the launcher just closes itself. osu!lazor? Nope, the game will run but only as a process in the background, no window will open no matter what I do. StarCraft: Brood War? Nope, Wine hates the battle.net client and running it in a VM is a really bad idea, the game flickers like crazy... Any other games? Pretty much out of luck... I would really like to play KCD but I doubt it would be playable...24
You guys are cool and all but it's a little strange being in a community centred around releasing negativity when ideally you need good vibes..16
This is the third part of my ongoing series "The Ballad of the Six Witchers and the Undocumented Java Tool".
In this part, we have the massive Battle of Sparks and Storms.
The first part is here: https://devrant.com/rants/5009817/...
The second part is here: https://devrant.com/rants/5054467/...
Over the last couple sprints and then some, The Witcher Who Writes and the Butchers of Jarfile had studied the decompiled guts of the Undocumented Java Beast and finally derived (most of) the process by which the data was transformed. They even built a model to replicate the results in small scale.
But when such process was presented to the Priests of Accounting at the Temple of Cash-Flow, chaos ensued.
This cannot be! - cried the priests - You must be wrong!
Wrong, the Witchers were not. In every single test case the Priests of Accounting threw at the Witchers, their model predicted perfectly what would be registered by the Undocumented Java Tool at the very end.
It was not the Witchers. The process was corrupted at its essence.
The Witchers reconvened at their fortress of Sprint. In the dark room of Standup, the leader of their order, wise beyond his years (and there were plenty of those), in a deep and solemn voice, there declared:
"Guys, we must not fuck this up." (actual quote)
For the leader of the witchers had just returned from a war council at the capitol of the province. There, heading a table boarding the Archpriest of Accounting, the Augur of Economics, the Marketing Spymaster and Admiral of the Fleet, was the Ciefoh Seat himself.
They had heard rumors about the Order of the Witchers' battles and operations. They wanted to know more.
It was quiet that night in the flat and cloudy plains of Cluster of Sparks and Storms. The Ciefoh Seat had ordered the thunder to stay silent, so that the forces of whole cluster would be available for the Witchers.
The cluster had solid ground for Hive and Parquet turf, and extended from the Connection River to farther than the horizon.
The Witcher Who Writes, seated high atop his war-elephant, looked at the massive battle formations behind.
The frontline were all war-elephants of Hadoop, their mahouts the Witchers themselves.
For the right flank, the Red Port of Redis had sent their best connectors - currency conversions would happen by the hundreds, instantly and always updated.
The left flank had the first and second army of Coroutine Jugglers, trained by the Witchers. Their swift catapults would be able to move data to and from the JIRA cities. No data point will be left behind.
At the center were thousands of Sparks mounting their RDD warhorses. Organized in formations designed by the Witchers and the Priestesses of Accounting, those armoured and strong units were native to this cloudy landscape. This was their home, and they were ready to defend it.
For the enemy could be seen in the horizon.
There were terabytes of data crossing the Stony Event Bridge. Hundreds of millions of datapoints, eager to flood the memory of every system and devour the processing time of every node on sight.
For the Ciefoh Seat, in his fury about the wrong calculations of the processes of the past, had ruled that the Witchers would not simply reshape the data from now on.
The Witchers were to process the entire historical ledger of transactions. And be done before the end of the month.
The metrics rumbled under the weight of terabytes of data crossing the Event Bridge. With fire in their eyes, the war-elephants in the frontline advanced.
Hundreds of data points would be impaled by their tusks and trampled by their feet, pressed into the parquet and hive grounds. But hundreds more would take their place. There were too many data points for the Hadoop war-elephants alone.
But the dawn will come.
When the night seemed darker, the Witchers heard a thunder, and the skies turned red. The Sparks were on the move.
Riding into the parquet and hive turf, impaling scores of data points with their long SIMD lances and chopping data off with their Scala swords, the Sparks burned through the enemy like fire.
The second line of the sparks would pick data off to be sent by the Coroutine Jugglers to JIRA. That would provoke even more data to cross the Event Bridge, but the third line of Sparks were ready for it - those data would be pierced by the rounds provided by the Red Port of Redis, and sent back to JIRA - for good.
They fought for six days and six nights, taking turns so that the battles would not stop. And then, silence. The day was won, all the data crushed into hive and parquet.
Short-lived was the relief. The Witchers knew that the enemy in combat is but a shadow of the troubles that approach. Politics and greed and grudge are all next in line. Are the Witchers heroes or marauders? The aftermath is to come, and I will keep you posted.4
So apparently windows configures my stereo headphones as 5.1 headphones by default (which it never did before) thus causing weird bugs in games like witcher 3 where dialogs are super silent and everything else is super noisy. Thank you microsoft, for continuously making things worse.7
I've been using arch for like 2 months now. And I can even play games on it quite smooth (cs and stuff). But I'm missing Witcher 3 and Rise of the Tomb Raider. So I took all my courage and booted into win10. Guess what they welcome me with...
Edit: this was after the 5th reboot. Now I'm getting fucking bsods like nothing because of bad memory allocation :( fuck this shit. Has anybody of you got a working windows PC? I just want to playyyy 😢9
Sooo i was bored today, Nothing to compile or build.
So i was scrolling trough thingiverse and saw this cool sword. The witcher sword.
I had some filament left and well 17hours isnt that long TBH. So i started printing it. 2 hours in and well i see how amazing looking it is. Just glorious.
And as a bonus its fucking huge. I mean unreal. 1.2 meter sword. FFS WOW.31
Friend : Bro, give me the game you were playing yesterday.
( Witcher 3)
Me : OK, tell me your system specs.
He: 1 TB hard drive and 8 GB ram.
Me : GPU?
He : 2 GB Nvidia.
He: Don't know something like 740m ( M you heard that right)
Me : Won't work. GPU is not powerful enough.
He: You don't know anything, it will work. You also play on same GPU with 2 GB.
Me: -.- ( I had gtx 770)9
CK's nike deal
Eminem's diss shit and MGK killing it with Rap Devil
Wife free from work this weekend
Made a rather large project with Pharo and Seaside to see if I dig it(i did, but it ain't replacing my other tools anytime soon, shit requires reading far too much code and digging around dark corners of the net for it)
Finished 2 projects for work and got ahead of 2 others for this week.
Shit b, this is one interesting weekend indeed.
Back to devRant after a long break.
Neither made the world a better place like Sillicon Valley,
Nor was busy fighting monsters like Witcher,
For the Kings and Queens who make more,
Whom the clients keep throwing Gold,
Was stuck in a project like soldiers in GOT,
Following JIRAs for my honor.3
They should rename computer science at secondary school/a level to "recursion in action"... I really don't enjoy having to learn fundamentals again...
Gamers.. What are the games you playing now ?
GTA 4 , Witcher 1 and DOTA 2 .. ( I know booo.. right ? ). Just got a gaming pc months ago so smoothly ramping it up.27
Can't stop gaming. I mean if
I put my heart to it I can learn anything I want within a few months but just can't resist the urge to boot up Witcher 3 every night.2
Finals will be finally over.
1) Finish Witcher 3
2) Work on Python projects
How long did you spend for witcher 3?
I'm 100 hours into it currently.4
I have dual-boot Windows and Linux and use Windows just for gaming. After a hard day's work, I'm like "Let's relax by playing Witcher 3 for a couple of hours". So, I restart, select Windows and guess what? Updates... Mother. Fucking. Updates...😭😭😭5
What songs gets you in the zone?
I listened to witcher soundtracks, celtic music , irish pub music , metal, power metal ( all of the popular bands ) , folk rock but I started to get bored of them . I’m opened to everything that sounds good15
!rant with a l'il rant at the end.
Anyone have any Android games they would recommend? I just want something to help me unwind, without being baited every 10 minutes into buying upgrades or coins or whatever.
In app transactions have ruined Android games for me. It drives me insane, but, I still would like something for when I'm not bothered to boot up my ps4 and spend hours living in The Witcher.4
!dev && rant(-ish)
Seriously, what's up with all the different "Toss a Coin to Your Witcher" covers? Artists have created so many of them, that after listening to one or two covers, I get like 8 covers in my Weekly Discover or Release Radar on Spotify. It's getting annoying. I know it became a popular song of the new fans of Witcher, but if you plan to release an (n+1)th cover, just don't do it! It became boring and I will probably ignore your cover. Instead, you can create your own unique song!5
Game with AAA technological qualities but with gameplay and polish value and size of the games of old. Basically something even better than, say, Witcher 34
Toss a coin gents
Client: We don’t have the budget for that
Me: ...fml, I thought this was the silicone valley of plenty??
I keep getting emails from my programming teacher to "do more challenge programs!" Outside of the homework where I already have to do this shit
I think I'm gonna take this weekend to do the whole workbook they provided and see what they say then. Probably that I'm not learning properly.
I don't dislike this form of practical learning. I'm sure it's very representative of work programming, because the biggest challenge of these programs is mainly the bugs VB Net provides..