*Romantic candlelit dinner*

GF: "What are you thinking about, my love?"

Me: "The chocolate custard always seems to behave differently under stress than vanilla. It has a lower base viscosity, but a similar shear thickening. I was wondering whether anyone has ever made a database of all custard brands and flavors together with their viscosities"

My brain: *Oh fuck, that's not what I'm supposed to say during a romantic dinner*

GF: "Do you wanna check whether we can find a cheap second hand viscometer.... wait.... no.... you'd need a rheometer for that, right? Do you think we could build one ourselves?"

Me: *blinks in awe*

Even after 15 years, I'm still just puzzled, she really fucking is my soulmate

Bear Metal Server 🐻🤘💻

3rd time the DB schema has been completely redone since starting this project.

3rd time I'm rewriting the back-end of this login.

But... 3rd time I'm getting paid for the same thing so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So linux is doge coin

Change my mind

The fact that there are still new websites made with wordpress proves that as a species we are a case of hopeless masochists.

I accidentally set the width and height of a rectangle to zero in my code, and my program drew a circle. Interesting outcome.

Guaranteed to be random.

If SHE asks you out for a DATE
Don't say this, please 😂😛💙

People say that they hate all the languages other than what they code in:
It's opposite to me, I literally hate the language I code in,
Yes, I code in PHP.

It's Friday and guess what?

We are fucking deploying on prod!

WordPress makes me a violent person. I just fucking hate WordPress with all my guts.
Fuck WordPress. F U C K WordPress.

🥲 lol

source: https://me.me/i/...

real Santa

She: Me or Coding 😏
Me: Coding with You 👨‍💻👩‍💻😌

No Matchstick? No Problem.
Designer's system is always on FIRE when these softwares are ON 😂😂😂

Friday deployment yay!
Bye bye weekend 👋.

It's a never ending race

My brain at 5:00 AM

Remember that 😏

“Judge a man not by how he themes his editor, but by how he writes his commit messages.”

!dev
Do people annoy me more because I'm sick, or am I sick because people annoy me more?

I think the next world war will be between people who use Tabs vs people who use Spaces

Top tier documentation, Apple. 👌

Had to wake four people up at 2 am to fix a crashing service.

10/10 would deploy to production on Friday night again.

........

It's painful.

Fuck Optimizely.

Not because the software/service itself is inherently bad, or because I don't see any value in A/B testing.

It's because every company which starts using quantitative user research, stops using qualitative user research.

Suddenly it's all about being data driven.

Which means you end up with a website with bright red blinking BUY buttons, labels which tell you that you must convert to the brand cult within 30 seconds or someone else will steal away the limited supply, and email campaigns which promise free heroin with every order.

For long term brand loyalty you need a holistic, polished experience, which requires a vision based on aesthetics and gut feelings -- not hard data.

A/B testing, when used as some kind of holy grail, causes product fragmentation. There's a strong bias towards immediate conversions while long term churn is underrepresented.

The result of an A/B test is never "well, our sales increased since we started offering free heroin with every sale, but all of our clients die after 6 months so our yearly revenue is down -- so maybe we should offer free LSD instead"

So apparently due to an extremely talkative x input driver and an error in a certain app, I've been running an emergent keylogger on my computer for half a year. On every keypress event, the driver would call the app, the app would segfault, the driver would log the incident including the event to /var/log and then crash, and the app would restart the worker. I noticed this when I started wondering why /var/log is over 100GB in size.