Details
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SkillsJava, C++, User Interfaces, Assembly, Unreal Engine 4
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LocationGermany
Joined devRant on 1/29/2017
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To the cunt who named himself "Uncaught ReferenceError: username is not defined":
Sincerely, fuck you.16 -
That feel when you spend 2 hours fixing something just so you can fix the thing you originally intended to fix5
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Are you fucking kidding me, Microsoft?!
You are literally doing the opposite thing of "protecting me".
I might as well just download all the viruses myself and watch my CPU rise up like that. Thanks, Microsoft for nothing, but bad things.12 -
-- How I feel at work lately, in terms my wife understands --
Me: There's a gas leak, we need to fix it.
Manager: Yeah, use some duct tape, here's a roll.
Me: That's not how we fix a problem like this.
Manager: Will it work to solve the problem?
Me: Only temporarily
Manager: Ask your co-worker if you need help using duct tape, he's used it before. When will it be fixed?12 -
I saw a guy building a website today.
No React.
No Vue.
No Ember.
He just sat there.
Writing HTML.
Like a Psychopath.32 -
🤔 If developers were linguists...
Person 1: How do you say "????" in Italian?
Person 2: Why don't you use Japanese? It's a much better language.6 -
A very experienced PM/WebDev came to us. His resume was fantastic but a bit strange. He wrote he had been working for 15 years but his experience in C# was 18 years. Though I was sceptical about this guy, others expected him to be a .NET guru. So, the interview began. The candidate described his brilliant career, then he said he wanted to move forward as a programmer and work with the newest technologies. It wasn't easy to ask him basic questions but they were in the list, so we needed to start with questions for juniors. I asked him to tell us about value types and reference types, and the answer was: about what? I repeated the question, and he said he didn't know about such complex things. I knew his resume was strange but I was disappointed. It turned out that our candidate didn't know C# at all.6
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Dev from MIT argued about every. Single. Thing. I said. I'm not talking language or cultural or political barrier, I'm talking about just a naturally confrontational person. Maybe it was just his nerves (people do weird shit when they are nervous), but damn if i didnt want to throw him out after "agreeing to disagree" for the 4th time in 10 minutes.7
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This time I want to share with you something I am really proud of. As I love sailing (I've been sailing for a long time before I even had my driving license - for over a 20 years now), and I love old, classic, wooden yachts - this is the result of couple of years of work. My own oldtimer Jollenkreuzer 15er:
https://youtu.be/tNLgkOLu_bQ
This is almost the same Jollenkreuzer that Albert Einstein received as a gift (despite the fact that he didn't know how to sail). Emir was built in 1953 and the renovation took over 5 years and it wouldn't be possible if not for my father.4 -
I actually lent a girl an umbrella yesterday which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.12
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Life lesson learned:
If your girlfriend asks you what SO means, it's "Significant Other",
NOT StackOverflow.7 -
This is more just a note for younger and less experienced devs out there...
I've been doing this for around 25 years professionally, and about 15 years more generally beyond that. I've seen a lot and done a lot, many things most developers never will: built my own OS (nothing especially amazing, but still), created my own language and compiler for it, created multiple web frameworks and UI toolkits from scratch before those things were common like they are today. I've had eleven technical books published, along with some articles. I've done interviews and speaking engagements at various user groups, meetups and conferences. I've taught classes on programming. On the job, I'm the guy that others often come to when they have a difficult problem they are having trouble solving because I seem to them to usually have the answer, or at least a gut feel that gets them on the right track. To be blunt, I've probably forgotten more about CS than a lot of devs will ever know and it's all just a natural consequence of doing this for so long.
I don't say any of this to try and impress anyone, I really don't... I say it only so that there's some weight behind what I say next:
Almost every day I feel like I'm not good enough. Sometimes, I face a challenge that feels like it might be the one that finally breaks me. I often feel like I don't have a clue what to do next. My head bangs against the wall as much as anyone and I do my fair share of yelling and screaming out of frustration. I beat myself up for every little mistake, and I make plenty.
Imposter syndrome is very real and it never truly goes away no matter what successes you've had and you have to fight the urge to feel shame when things aren't going well because you're not alone in those feelings and they can destroy even the best of us. I suppose the Torvald's and Carmack's of the world possibly don't experience it, but us mere mortals do and we probably always will - at least, I'm still waiting for it to go away!
Remember that what we do is intrinsically hard. What we do is something not everyone can do, contrary to all the "anyone can code" things people do. In some ways, it's unnatural even! Therefore, we shouldn't expect to not face tough days, and being human, the stress of those days gets to us all and causes us to doubt ourselves in a very insidious way.
But, it's okay. You're not alone. Hang in there and go easy on yourself! You'll only ever truly fail if you give up.32 -
So, I got a ticket to make a page using a given wireframe that had submit buttons and other buttons to add more items in the wireframe.
So, I pull the html, hook up the abilty to submit the form and add items, and send it out for review.
One comment on the review.
"Remove the functionality, you'll handle it in the next ticket"
So I commented out the javascript. Guess what I'm doing on the next 10 minutes.1 -
While implementing a new feature I got “error in function A”.
I spent one day trying to figure out what was wrong.
At the end I found that someone copy/paste “function A” debug comments in “function B”.
I almost went to jail.4 -
Client: "This has been broken for weeks! Why is it still broken!?!?"
Me: "Did you tell anyone it was broken?"
Client: "Well...um...no..."
I may be good at my job, but I have not been able to (nor do I want to) develop mind-reading abilities. Now please fuck off (so that I can go fix it).7 -
*In a team meeting*
Me: *happily jotting down notes in markdown*
Other guy: "Dude what are you doing? Pay attention."
Me: "Umm... I'm taking notes?"
Other guy: "But why does your MS Word have black background?"
Me (a bit lost): "Umm... That's not Word. That's my text editor."
Other guy: "Alright... But how do you convert your notes into Word then?"
Me: "... I don't."
Other guy: *stares at me*
Me: * stare back*
It was a nice conversation.12 -
Joker: If you are good at something don’t do it for free
Me: (thinking) How much shall I charge to introduce bugs into someone’s code? 🤣3 -
Instead of using actual debugging tools, using print statements and forgetting to remove all of them.7
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Googles best javascript framework.
1st link: react is the best one.
Me: Ignore
2nd link: Angular is the best one.
Me: ignore.
.
.
.
8th link: Vue is the best one.
Me: I knew it.18