It changed my life, really. 😁

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

During a software presentation for a group of clients i said:
"I reworked the interface for you. Now it's idiot-proof."

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

If you accidentally send out a porn link, your best line of defense is to send 10 more, then blame it in a virus.

In fact just make a virus at this point.

😂😂😂😂😂

Creepy..... WTF

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Gentlemen,
Please take a look at the enclosed hard drive and let me know if you'll be able to transfer files/software from it onto a laptop. If so I'll send you a laptop so you can get it done.

*Opens box*

hope this isnt a repeat. have a great weekend guys!!!!!

Dev confession.
Everybody in my department thinks I am a genius programmer.
I am just a better googler who knows how to apply things.

I don't know who, or where you are. But want to let you know the test was successful.

Confession of the day:
1. I work in release mode
2. I work on the main branch only
3. I test on production

When you have a super annoying problem that Google has been unable to help with... But you stumble upon a link with the exact title matching your issue... And clicking on it gives you a 404.

Arch guys !!

Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.

So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.

Did this on my first programming exam.

int index = 0
int value = 0
try {
while true {
value += array[index]
index++
}
} catch NullPointerException {
System.out.print("Sum: " + value)
}

The task was to add together all numbers in an array.

I somehow aced the exam, but got called in to teachers office this is not the way to use exceptions.

I'm the only windows user in my office(my only other choice was Mac). One of the salesmen walks in my office with his macbook.

salesman: what do you know about macs?

me: nothing, why?

salesman: well I just got a new MacBook and I can't right-click, is there like a setting or something I gotta click?

me: well there's no "right-click" by default on Macs, but I think there's a way so you can click with the right side of the touchpad and get the "command-click" you're looking for. stand over there quietly while I finish this function then I'll look into it.

*i proceed to fiddle with some code for 5 or so minutes while he stands in the corner*

me: ok so let's look at your MacBook... ok *at this point I jump on my computer* let's see what Google has to say.

search: enable right-click on mac

me: huh! look at that! Google gives you the answer right there, poof! like magic. now we just follow directions, system settings>keyboard and touchpad>enable click with bottom right corner. bam! anything else?

salesman: yeah, I want the little bar thing to go away *talking about the dock auto-hide

me: ok well that's called the dock, let's ask Google again...look, Google gives the answer again, without even needing to click any links, I could probably click these links and get more in-depth instructions, but right here at the top is the answer

salesman: wow man, thanks! I've got a meeting in 10 minutes and I never would have figured this out.

*before he leaves

me: here take this...

haha the best reply

An API Wrapper: (src: @jcsrb)

Weekend so far:

Chrome Update FUCKED UP my website.

Tried to update my server to Ubuntu 16.04. That FUCKED UP in the middle and I didn't have any recent backup.

Went back to old backup. But didn't see any changes in the website. Was wondering that for 1 hour.

Forgot that my website was using cloudflare caching. In the meantime I have changed my DNS settings.

Out of frustration removed website from cloudflare. That FUCKED UP the DNS further.

Now I have no idea how long it will take the DNS to update.

FUCKING F M L

They taught you a lot..🙋🙋

Where did you two meet??😇😇😇

my enter key just gave up 😔

How long will that last 😅

+1 to websites that disable right click. Come on, they tried :)

Or that...

This is Spork. Spork lives on the desk in my apartment.

My girlfriend bought the plant for her office but he wasn't getting enough light there so now he has a better home on my desk and gets lots of sunlight during the day.

well, sorry Dave

On his first week at job, the junior says:

Hey guys! Check out this new website I found! You'll thank me later.