If I have headphones in
and I'm intentionally away from everyone
and it looks like I'm working
and you want to talk to me

Here's some advice:
DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME.

If you're curious why, I've compiled a list of points:

1) DON'T
2) FUCKING
3) TALK
4) TO
5) ME

Also, see Fig. 1 below:

(Fig. 1)
| DONT
| FUCKING
|
| TALK
| TO
|
| ME
---------------------------------------
Don't fucking talk to me!

On the last working day of our CEO.
CEO: As a software company, if we are to build an airplane would you ride on the airplane that we built?
Everyone was silent.
Me at the back of my head: I'll ride. I know for sure that the airplane will never start.

This is my social and Dev life ;(

windows update code

function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}

Eternal confusion.

Shit just got real

try{
superLikelyToFailMethod()

}catch(Exception whoCares){

}

My sister is 16yo and she is not interested in the C.S field. I gave her last year my laptop and it has Debian on it, since i bought a new one. She never told me that she has to deal with any problem, she was just using it.
Today she got a new laptop from our grandma and she texts me "hey, is there any way i can install Linux on that? I don't want to use windows".
Well i told her that she has to wait me to come back home next month and i will take care of it.

I had never thought that i will listen something like that. Good day.

My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"

Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"

When you have a merge conflict

No kink shaming

​​​​​​

Historically, tattoo artists would operate free of charge on women's breasts. This was an attractive offer for both sides, and spawned the phrase "tit for tat", which now represents two sides of an argument offering items of equal value.

This is a fact I just made up, like "Java runs on 4 billion devices"

Could not help but repost it. 😂

Credits: Microsoft #devhumor

Found this on twitter. #eminem #humor

How I feel when I need to switch back from a TypeScript to a plain JavaScript project.

Always use Analogy when explaining things

array[1]

Trying to work with AWS

Terrifying really

Truth.

We got a winner here!

That guy should be remembered.

This made my evening

** The most hilarious authentication implementation I've ever seen **

They stored password in cleartext, but never mind, this is sadly quite common.
For some reasons credentials were also case insensitive (maybe to avoid silly tickets from CAPS LOCK lovers?).

Then I had a look to the query executed during the login:
SELECT * FROM users WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?;

So I tried logging in with user "admin" and password "%"... and it worked!
I laughed all the day.

After a while of functioning as a dev, I've learned one of many lessons:

The amount of experience you have does not correlate with your expertise, but it in fact correlates with the amount of absolutely broken shit you've seen and your ability deal with it.

Yes Autodesk, I am fully fucking aware of the fact that it is not made for Linux but for what reason do you feel the need to block me from downloading it?! You know, there is Wine and there are also VMs... fucking pricks

And then they even start mixing languages 👏

I think devRant should let us to put some cats also on our avatar desk, in order to be more realistic. My cats don't like staying under the desk. :D

Undefined user - 404 not found

This is why frontend sucks. . I hate it.. 100s of framework still no idea what to do.