Boolean Logic....

Anyone else used Stack Overflow for many years without ever asking or answering a single question?

Team work!

You devranters feed your cats too much

I found it!

My laptop's purring, what could cause this problem?

Introducing avatar pets & a new way to unlock avatar items! Pets include cats, dogs, birds and tigers. We know getting all those ++'s can take some time, so while all avatar items are just as reachable for free by earning ++'s from rants and comments, we now allow items to be purchased in-app based on the difference in ++'s you have to the ++ unlock value of the item. (To purchase, you'll need the latest app version)

Paying for avatar items helps us keep the devRant servers up and running and also is extra motivation to add more fun avatar items. If you have any questions or find a bug, please let me or @dfox know. Happy ranting!

Just my shaved pussy in the middle of the work weekend.
(At this point I really hope I'm attaching the right image)

I think devRant should let us to put some cats also on our avatar desk, in order to be more realistic. My cats don't like staying under the desk. :D

Get off my hands! I'm trying to work 😒

local tech support

Trying to make a not realistic deadline,set today for yesterday. Pleasing clients is what I do.

With a little #catsupport, she is probably wondering why I'm not in bed so she can sleep on me.

Replace the teachers with no real world experience with part-time workers that are still active in IT.

I had this last year in my final year of vocational education and it was amazing, I had two teachers running their business two days a week and teaching us everything on the three remaining days.

I learnt about oop without dogs and cats, I learnt to extract information from invoices to be able to create an invoicing system without being misled by customers, and much more.

Second thing would also be something we did in my previous education. It was called "learning productively".

Basically, companies would give a project to the school and students could pick one to do for a few months. You had to have meetings with the customer, you had to give presentations and it wasn't another fucking calculator.

I've had the pleasure of working with a big corporation like this and learnt a ton in my first year.

These were extremely valuable, I think I'd still be a piece of shit developer without any knowledge on how to actually develop a full system and how to manage a project as a dev.

Peace

Like a boss

Seen in Amsterdam, getting on a ferry.

Not a specifically dev related story, but absolutely rant worthy.

Today I was working from home, and my wife called me to tell me that some awful person had thrown a young cat into the dumpster at her work.

To that person - you are a scumbag. You’re lucky no one left you alone in a hot car as a kid, let alone a dumpster. Seriously, why? Why is it so hard to take it to a shelter?

Anyway - I went and bought a whole bunch of cat stuff - I grew up with cats but I’ve never had one on my own. We’re at the vet now. I think we’ll name her Curry (after Haskell Curry, and lovely spicy dishes).

NOW I get it. (Source: nixCraft)

Mousepad alternative #AnimalsAtRandomPlaces

Dafuq is this, human?

What a great way to start your day and begin your fucking 2018

The cat just pissed on my laptop (it’s a macbook air)

Wet af

Stink af

Dried the fucking wet stink af laptop

It still works

But the fans gone crazy and slow af

Trying to reset the smc stuff

Nothing changes, still retarded

I want to open the bottom case but i dont have the screw driver

With its fucking limited 128gb storage i store my shits in cloud storages like google drive, dropbox and mega and my projects are stored in bitbucket so nothing to lose

Me : 1 vs Cat : 1

To my beloved cat:
I work hard using this damn laptop to provide food and home for you and you just take a piss on it.

I accidentally taught my cat to turn off the wifi. Now he is using his powers against me whenever he demands food😅😫🤦

This facts are killing me

"During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said, "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google’s public certificate and wrote the private key on the whiteboard."

"Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers."

"gcc -O4 emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite."

"When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic."

"When Jeff Dean has an ergonomic evaluation, it is for the protection of his keyboard."

"When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation."

"When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep."

"When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to /dev/dsp and does the decoding in his head."

"Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled."

"One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris."

"Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer. "

Just made a laser sentry tower for my cats. Next up is adding some tracking so it can play with them by itself while I'm at work and after that I'm adding a Wi-Fi module and camera so that i can also play with them while I'm at work... I couldn't resist using a mouse to top it off 😂

First we were called "rockstar" developers.

Then HR started using "heroes".

Then "tigers" and some confused associates who didn't get the memo used various other big cats.

Now they're starting to call us "product warriors".

🤦‍♂️

My sister in law got me this guy for Christmas after I told her about devrant!

She found it in a rubber duck shop in Amsterdam.

Best sister in law!

"Can you make it pop more..."

A moment of silence please, for the same fucking, irritating word that every goddamn Joe, Jim and Jenny uses for describing how a site should look. What the hell is pop supposed to mean, you want an epilepsy warning I'll put some popping lights and nausea inducing Nyan cats across your screen. You want it to pop more, sure no problem...

There's a window over there, go fucking throw your PC out of it.

Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with

Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent

This was during my 3rd semester when I was outside my dorm room finishing my Java assignment. Suddenly this kitty jumped from nowhere and sat near my laptop seeing those buggy Java codes. Then I started to pet him as he sat on my keypad. After this incident, he came outside my dorm room every other night waiting for me to pet him. He was one good friend that I got during that semester. I really miss him now.

Programmers are like cats, you need at least two of them so they can play with eachother

every time..

Trying to spend non-work time doing things other than coding. Which means picking up new hobbies. 😅

Currently trying to teach myself how to draw cartoon cats.

Today, I worked on facial expressions.

Actual email I just sent to a customer:

"I logged into your account and I see the problem. I will update you and have it fixed either by tonight or tomorrow morning. It is a rare bug we have encountered before, and we are working on it as you read this. "

The truth:

"Im fucking drunk right now. I know that error. I put off fixing it for awhile now hoping it wouldn't come up because it's fucking annoying to fix. I'll try to fix it tomorrow morning, k no promises though. If I can't I'll still have your problem taken cats of it just means I'll have to do it manually. Anyway.. Gonna drink some more now, bye. "

P. S. There is no we. It's just me. K bye.

I attended a webcall with the cat on my shoulder, some manager complained it was not professional.
Now, I do not know who that was so I'll have to just shoot in the crowd and take innocent victims, but from now I'll attend every single call with as many cats on screen as possible. Possible outcomes, and both are fine by me, either they cut down the amount of unnecessary calls -as to limit the amount of catness on their screen- or learn to grow the fuck up because unlike some retard I get paid for working, not for busting the balls to the people that actually work.

!rant Pulled an accidental all-nighter on Friday because I started crocheting a blanket for the cats and lost track of time. I am becoming a crocheting fiend!

My cat – your provider for unexplored shortcuts.

P.s. WHAT DID YOU PRESS AND HOW I UNDO THAT?

Me: I'm gonna be productive today. Will complete this task in one hour!
*starts coding enthusiastically*
After two minutes...
*facebook*
*cat video*
Awwwww
*dog video*
Lol heheh!
*cute kittens n puppies*
Heh, silly cat
*more cats, dogs*
*accidentally notices the time*
Crap! 1.5 hours gone waste....

I do loves me some pusheen :)

Recently I left my partner and, as a result, his house with my workspace. So, I rented a small house and now I have a temporary setup on the kitchen table. Of course I brought the cats with me.

Happy World Cat Day 😊

My cat volunteered to be my debugging buddy tonight!

FInally, a community where there aren't fucking pictures of cute cats

A common scenario strikes again today:

- Blocked on a problem at the end of the day
- Tell my wife I'm headed home
- Inspiration strikes
- time flies by coding in the zone
- realize I'm super late
- run out the door like a crazy person

I used to think the magnetic power cord on the mac was a great idea...until we got a kitten. One of his greatest joys is to play havoc with the cords under the computer desk...but his favourite is the mac powercord - which he rips out without me noticing ... until the mac runs out of power and shuts down...

I hope Desks of devRant is still a thing because..

I BUILT MY OWN (｡♡‿♡｡)

My dad helped me with the metal work. I build the wooden plate myself and I think it looks beautiful.

Also my devDucks and my little bongo cat support me. As well as my real cats which now have more space to annoy me.

I love this table ( ˘ ³˘)♥

I finally got the cat \(ˆ˚ˆ)/
Achieved all goals for this year. And it's only May.

I may have made a scarf for my cat

Night before flying internationally includes the following checklist:

- check VPN works, can access frontend sites and hit the backend
- git push

Our "monitoring" today.

This morning I kept falling back asleep after the alarm went off, drifting in and out of a dream about programming.

My wife finally said "no more sleeping".

Still mostly sleep, I replied very confidently "you can't sleep in a sandbox!".

I was dreaming I was in a code sandbox. Obviously sleeping is not allowed.

Jeez, my head has been really full of programming since this conference. (One of the talks was on codesandbox).

This startup I started working for with their shitty code base written by interns, restrictive sys admin who had no actual use in the company since I was the one setting up their servers, know-it-all CEO, stupid HR representative who used to grill employees for being 10 minutes late in the morning, very small apartment "HQ", using fingerprints to signal our entry and our leave to and from the office, no formal process, and, to top it all, monitoring our own laptops which we use for work with a software that takes screenshots every few minutes. In short, it had the worst in corporates with the worst of startups combined in one company.

If, hypothetically, we could overlook all this, I couldn't overlook the horrible smell this place had. The apartment was overlooking a small garden which was a home for many stray cats and dogs. You can imagine how horrible this smell was. The weird thing was that no one there seemed to really care about the smell!!

I lasted there for only one week before I gave my resignation and I believe I had every right to do so.

Kind of rant.

Why doesn't the cat sit on the keyboard?
At least my two cats just love that place. Perhaps a feature request?

Python be like

"Yeah this is the absolute best beginner language to learn programming concepts"

Python also be like

"Yeah well we couldnt implement 70% of programming concepts because the ast is retarded but heres a library for drawing 3d cats with a printer"

The best part while working with placeholder content

I was looking up this vsauce video about comic sans when an ad crossed my way.
What an eyecatcher! I want a website in that style now...

Bobcat puts up with so much

I ordered my devrant stickers a few hours ago and they still haven't arrived.

This was a fun thing that just happened:

I was sent a timed questionnaire by a potential employer for a software engineer job. I'm like okay, I will do it on Monday (today) because that is when I will have a free minute.

Well I sit down to do the thing and I had had a few beers, because the Ballmer Peak is real to me when I have to answer bullshit programming quizzes.

Well F me right in the A, it is a 38 question true or false logic quiz. And I am no longer a college kid trying to get into grad school so I have no patience for that crap, and apparently less with a little beer in me. Long story short, there was no comment section for me to rant in so I decided to go on YouTube and watch cat videos instead.

Not exactly why I bought a split keyboard but ok, whatever works buddy.

Cats !

Let me tell you a story.

Our company has a homegrown monitoring solution. Keeps track of our deployments and alerts us when something is broken. Really nice for the most part, except a little issue where we get up to 25 alerts PER DAY that our PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT IS DOWN. Including weekends.

With this many false positives, we quickly learn to ignore the alerts and miss real incidents.

So we approached this team, remember its our own tool, and told them about the problem. Turns out it is a known issue. And here's the kicker: they aren't planning on fixing it!

It gets better. Rather than fix this glaring issue, their solution is to make ANOTHER ALERT that lets us know the monitoring is misbehaving.

To recap, we can now expect to get up to 25 false positive alerts per day that our production is down, followed immediately by more alerts that the monitor is broken, which means we can ignore the previous alert.

As our PM said when he heard this: fuck that noise. We are escalating the shit out of this!

I'm such an idiot.

Spilled water on my MacBook today. Not that much water, but the cup landed right in the middle of my keyboard.

Worst part is I was gaming with my sister and didn't want to stop. So I wiped it off and shook it out a bit and kept playing. A bit later the screen started flickering and eventually went black.

Finally my brain turned on and I switched it off, shook out some more water, and set it up to dry. Just hoping it's not too late.

At least the drying setup recommended by the internet is pretty hilarious looking.

Now we play the waiting game. They say 72 hours before turning it on again. Seems a bit extreme. Will there still be moisture evaporating 3 days later? Not sure I can wait that long to see if it's toast.

Such an idiot.

Who needs avatar cats when I have this magnificent beast?

Got a 3D printer, printed myself a kitters

*spends a long time crafting a huge eBay post (we're moving)
* tries to drag and drop first picture
* page navigates to the picture without warning
* loses everything

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

WHEN DRAGGING A PICTURE INTO A WEB PAGE I NEVER WANT TO NAVIGATE TO A PAGE WITH JUST THAT IMAGE. WHY NO WARNING BEFORE LEAVING THE PAGE. WHY DON'T YOU SAVE TEXT LOCALLY. WHY DOES THE WEB SUCK SO HARD. AAAGGGHHHH.

* feels better
* starts over

Haha the cats expression says it all! 🐱😂💻

For the love of buggery, stop watching bloody videos on your bloody phone with the bloody volume turned up.

I was thinking about something, just starting to get in the zone, when suddenly that tinny little speaker opened up a portal into the howling chaos of the underworld.

It sounds like cats fucking in an empty grain silo.

For the next half an hour, there is no room in my head for anything apart from the diabolical echoes of that bollock-wrenchingly hideous noise.

Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!

Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!

Stop the lies!!!

80% of all programmers have cats 😺

!dev

Just went to the pet asylum to look for a cat. There was a shy black one (eh, maybe not a good first but Moar Blacker, Moar Better 😋) and a black and white one which was very open towards me.

Probably I'll get the latter, and build some food, water and litter dispenser systems for it with motors and my esp8266 boards 🙂

The lady who was volunteering there and showed me around had an interesting story though.

Apparently both of those aforementioned cats were wild cats (so they don't come from a proper household or anything). Except that black and white one which apparently came from some rather retarded people.. think average Facebook user.

According to her those previous owners came there with 2 cats including the black and white one as "extremely wild, we found them in the forest, put them in cages (because everyone carries cat cages in their car every day, right?) and brought them here". Nice excuse for average Facebook user level of retard I have to say 😜 but it's not very waterproof, you know?

But on average the people that they get there are even worse than that.. some get a great initial meeting with a cat, but then leave them there because they don't like the stripes on a paw or something stupid like that. As she put it: "you're not fitting pants in a clothing shop, are you?! 😑"
Had to try hard to not burst out in laughter from that description 😂

Point is, the average customers there are awful.. apparently she was very grateful to have a rather down-to-earth customer like me and my home supervisor (who helpfully drove me there 🙂) for once. So terrible clients.. they're everywhere!

It really taught me to be mindful of the hardships of people in any profession who deal with clients.

All Devs must have

2 days into a new java project and I already miss scala so much.

We should have cats in the "pet (shoulder)" options.

They look cool in real life

My new fitbit reminds me take 250 steps each hour. When I do stop and take a walk, I find it helps my productivity, and I feel better. However, I'm not good at keeping to it.

It's always the same story.

"Quiet you, I'll get up and walk once I finish this one thing".

...

Another hour goes by.

If only I could keep to my own convictions.

I spent more than an hour trying trying to debug why two functions were always returning undefined. I even put in conditional breakpoints and executed the statements to confirm the logic was correct.

I forgot return.

I like this scala library because it's called "cats" 🐱

Finally Spend two fucking days debugging shit until I figured it it. Freaking stupid shit encoding problems and old data combined isn't fun. Dafuq why can't everybody use UTF-8 or Unicode or something else but PLEASE stop using some old school IBM shit codepages.
Leckt mich doch am arsch mit diesem scheiß man -_-

Not a rant. Just a story.

So two weeks ago, a cat gave birth to two beautiful kittens in our balcony. We started giving milk to the mother and sometimes inviting the family to our house. The kittens are naughty charming. The mother sits for hours and sometimes sleeps while watching us do our chores (watching movies, coding, etc.)

Now, we live in New Delhi and Wednesday was Diwali. The family was playing in the balcony and we had to go out. So we locked the balcony door and went to have fun with friends. We didn't realize that people would burst firecrackers which could scare the cats. When we returned, the mother was very scared and (kind of) screaming. One of the kittens was missing!! We live on the fourth floor and I got scared too. We searched using a flashlight but there was no sign of kitten. After 30 minutes of search, We gave up. I assumed the kitten jumped from the balcony and might be dead. I tried to sleep but could not. Around 4 AM in the morning, I heard some noise. When I opened the door, the second kitten was there. Her mom was scolding (or so it seemed). It was a moment of joy.

Thought of sharing. This family has become our friends. Now I realize how cats are good companions.

CSS for JavaScript Developers is my new favorite thing. I’m learning so much about CSS that I never realized before and it’s getting me to think about CSS in different ways.

Unrelatedly, I’ve been doing #catober for #inktober.

Also, I’m still alive. ❤️

If you like purely electronic music, try drum'n'bass, more specifically neuro(-funk). Believe it or not, it really boosts productivity.
I can recommend:

For getting used to it: Noisia, Teddy Killerz, Neonlight, Zombie Cats

When you are used to it: Current Value, Pythius, Hydra, Jade, Machine Code

When you need the next level:
Billain

Generally good labels: Eatbrain, Blackout Music, Terminal, Bad Taste Recordings, Invisible Recordings

Every time..

Every single time!

All day long the hairy one is nowhere to be found. But as soon as you put some tech and/or wires on the bed - be sure she'll find it to be the best sleeping spot in less than a minute.

Literally a techno-cat.

!rant Safely in Texas! Cats have already discovered the tallest places in the house and confirmed that they need dusting.

Kind of proud of this one.

"404 self esteem not found"

Down a non-technical rabbit hole yesterday:
- watch a cat bury his poop during smoke break
- google "why do cats bury their poop"
- click a link to the Felidae family
- get interested in the differences between puma's, cheetahs and tigers
- read up on the whole genealogy in detail
- spend an hour looking up the endangered status of Felidae
- close work laptop

"Nuff for today"

Sex is okay, but have you ever tried fixing your work schedule?

All the noob jokes about "tee hee I write such bad code exdee" fucking drive me nuts.

There are absolutely such things as good codebases, in any language. By posting "tee hee funny relatable" "memes" about your shitass code you just make yourself look like a fucking idiot who excuses poor quality with "haha so relatable!" bullshit excuses.

Thank you for being the literal cancer of the industry, oversaturating the markets and making all of our managers think we're fucking idiot babies that have to be wrangled like cats in order to get a single feature out the door, devoid of rational thought or a modicum of expertise.

Fuck you. You're the problem. Be better or find another profession where slacking off is acceptable.

I woke up and discovered that one of my cats vomited over my keyboard during the night. «Meow, good Sunday human!». FML.

Yes, I cleaned it before typing this.

Coding has given me the ability to turn my favorite hobby into a career. This in turn gave me the chance to take jobs in three countries so far (US, Germany, UK). So, I can explore the world with lovely wife while doing something I'm really passionate about and constantly learning. It also allows me to relate more to my dad, a software engineer of about 30 years who got me started when I was a kid.

In short, coding changed everything for me.

PS: I met my wife in intro to CS, though she's not a developer.

My ex-cat stretching out. This should be in a vanity fair issue for cats

“Like herding cats.” I’ve heard this out of the mouths of PMs and other management types. No shit that’s what it’s like because cats aren’t herd animals. It’s what happens when you put some of the smartest people in your company at the bottom of a hierarchy, and then have some doofus manage us that reads inspirational leadership blogposts all day.

We will undermine the shit out of your shit, and you won’t even know it’s happening.

We will make every single reprimand of yours into a joke while you’re not in the building. “Hey Joe, I’m pretty sure what you’re doing right now is spreading negativity. Don’t you know it’s contagious?”

We will game every single metric you try to use on us. We will game every single one of your leadership agendas.

When I think of these things, I laugh in my heart like Skeletor.

I'm so easily distracted...
Set my self the target of planning a project and then doing a straight Hackathon while writing the most optimised code I can while programming.

Long story short.. Ended up sellotaping a lazer pen to my cats collar and watched her chase her self round the house.
Very productive day.

Finished Napoleon Cat!

After being live multiple years supporting only Safari, Firefox, and Chrome, one customer wanted IE support. After taking a close look at the usage numbers, and discussing with us front-end devs, our product guy shot it down. Pop the champagne!

When your company buys a third party solution and you spend all your time emailing them about bugs in their system.

Seriously, I even sent you the exact line of the bug in your JavaScript with a suggested solution, and deployed a new stack with your latest (broken) fix so you can test out that solution. Then you email back saying it is fixed but it is clearly still broken. If I email you a fixed version of your file will you deploy it? OMG!

Looks like the Pied Piper team is also jumping on the vscode hype train!

My cat is preventing me from finishing some last lines of code for a school project...

She even is even worse then some clients I had in the past....

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH

Common Lisp's format function.

Because it supports some crazy convenient formatting directives, such as: writing numbers as words, writing numbers as Roman numerals, correctly writing plurals, etc

The code in the image will print:
one cat
two cats
three cats
...
seven cats

If an orange costs $6 and a grape costs $4, how much does a pineapple cost?

Trying to buy a house in another state. First time moving out of state, first time trying to buy a house. Making first offer this weekend. Which is terrifying, and exciting. But it’s also lonely because my other half is in the other state looking at houses and I’m stuck here working and taking care of the cats.

Had a poor mental health day yesterday. Got a call today that my mama (gran on my mum’s side) took a tumble and has been in hospital and they don’t think she’ll pull through. I don’t have many memories of her, but the memories I do have are happy ones. She was always full of life and love and kindness.

💔

Gave the office a pack of paperclips.

Whole team has been playing like cats. Not much work was done today.

Cats are basically badly programmed NPCs.

We have a quiet room
WHAT THA FUCK DO I NEED A QUIET ROOM FOR, I NEED A ROOM TO FUCKING RAGE BREAK SHIT AND FUCKING KILL SOME FUCKING CATS AND 9DFEHYPIUFHVBQHEWFOQ0EFVQOEIIIIUCFQOYWREIUXBNMFYKJDTYNSBGVBF

Slow time so I can code more AND sleep more!

Yesterday I had a good idea for a project I'm working on, so I decided to stay awake all the night drinking RedBull in order to implement it.

Eventually I went to bed. I dreamed I was on an island with some friends and a volcano erupted. We escaped from the lava boarding on a big boat, then a tsunami wave reached the boat. Boat didn’t sink, however electric power went down. When the electric power returned, on the boat screens appeared the following text: "Please, restart MySQL". However, under it there was the PostgreSQL elephant logo. I was someway more worried about that rather than the tsunami. After that, a hurricane was coming too. We were saved by people coming with a spaceship, however they appeared to be drunk. I woke up thinking «WTF!».

This morning my husband told me our 4 cats made fuss all the night.

Do you like Asian women? I've loved them since childhood when I started watching Japanese cartoons. They look just as attractive in real life as cats. I would like to spend the evening with such a beautiful real Asian woman right now. Can I use this service in Las Vegas and invite an Asian woman to my party?

Not here to disturb y'all , but am a little sad because our cute little boy honey has wandered somewhere and hasn't come back for last 2 days. :'(

I don't know what to do, we searched the whole area nearby and there are no signs of him. We have also alerted a few neighbors who aren't bad to animals.

But i guess it's his time to go out. We always had many cats , and we live on the topmost floor, so cats usually wander over to different terraces and come back after a few hours. But there is always a day, when they go away, nd never comes back.usually the female cats return, with stomach full of babies, but the boys are full Roadies, king of some random place

Its just my heart says he hasn't gone forever. He is a super dumb, and not very much of a bold boy. I think he fell somewhere in an empty home,and couldn't find his way back. ;_;

what catching bugs be like.. you end up smacking your PM

When I say I hate cats an I'm replied with 'but they are so cute' and I find this pearl at home...

I fucking HATE cats!

It’s still to easy.
I hope one day software will get so complicated no one will be able to fix it.

Somewhere in future :
- government established law that new AI system is only one that can accept new law
- every financial operation is monitored by government supervision AI
- we developed robots that are taking care of us
- everyone is happy cause work for money, shelter and food is now optional
- education is fully digital and managed by AI
- whole knowledge is based on asking questions, we don’t need to write and read anymore
- we use one common language and our knowledge specialization increased

A little more time passed by in this utopia.
- after power loss most of data got corrupted
- last man who knew how to restore backup died last night ( R.I.P. admin we will not forget you )
- people trying to save knowledge base to rebuild part of this civilization but no one knows how to make a paper because it haven’t been used for ages
- we decided to put what is left from knowledge on stone but we forgot how to write since everything is audio or video and most of time we were spending in VR
- someone decided that we draw some pictures
- all of use are now drawing animal heads like we remember ourselves from VR, let people know our tech is good
- some people love cats so they try to make cats from stones
- volcano eruptions destroyed most of stones that we made

Starving waiting for another respawn of my DNA sequence. I hope we manage to survive this time.

Software Bugs are like cats
Nowhere to be found when you want them, attacking your face when you don't.

😂😂😂 - Is it just me or are developers primarily cat people? (I have 3).

When you try to clap in a presentation while holding coffee and spill it all over yourself.

My Boss had no joy in cats pictures for testing purposes 😒

I got a project to "refactor" some shitty site. It was written in nativ php. The guy who wrote this is a moron.
The site is so unsecure that my dog could broke into it while barking at cats.

It's sooo unreadable and illogical.
Every time i look at the code i get sadder and sadder. And now i understand why so many people hate php..

**Jump in time**
After i planned the new logic. My boss told me i can't do any of this. Because they only need a new user lever..
Now i just stare at this pile of horse sh*t and rant about it.

!Rant

So @-ScratchOs just gave me my 1000 +1.
I want to thank you all for being so awesome. I have never felt more welcome than here. Thank you @dfox and @trogus for making this.
No one in my school shares my passion for coding and so it is very nice to meet people with the same hobby here.
Also, why are all the cats you can select for your avatar so chubby?

My husband has always asserted that it is my cat who is the sole instigator in attack grooming sessions, and he may well have been right. But this night, my cat was sleeping peacefully on me as I peacefully slept when his cat decided to go on the offensive.

At 3:30 am.

I appreciate your growth as a cat, Bob, but I would have appreciated it more had you not awoken me with your new-found confidence.

Not a rant because life is fucking amazing... but..

I deleted my Facebook account. I can't fucking believe it. I have a bagazillion people following me and my booze fuled horseshit rants, photos of hamburgers and cats.

I fucking did it.

Ducking duck!

1. Gaming
2. Music "development" (I suck tho)
3. Netflix and chill, just without Netflix
4. Trying to write a book and procrastination is going great so far
5. Cats. Are. Life

"Can you check what my password is?"

Why devRant cats are overweight? 🤔

When you make a mistake and try to fix it, but you can't remember how to spell amend...

git commit --ammend
error: unknown command `amend'

git commit -ammend
[branch-name] mend

Huh?

git log
commit #
mend

Created a new commit with message 'mend'. Now to clean this all up and go get some sleep!

you know what i !love?

-project managers that can't manage something as simple as pivotal tracker

-project managers that schedule repeated stakeholder demo sessions when none of my stakeholers show up (ever)

-project managers that hold repeated grooming sessions that no one gives a fuck about because they can't manage what the fuck is going on the current iteration and therfore cannot forecast a proper next iteration

-project managers that complain about what doesn't get done in a current iteration because they don't don't pay attention to high priority stories that are added by developers in the current iteration even though they have (OWN) pivotal tracker

-project managers who have no clue about the business but want to turn grooming sessions into some sort of requirements gathering meeting only so they can appear halfway competent in the stupid little pivotal tracker notes

-cats that can't decide whether they want to go outside or stay inside

i'll take cats. at least their cuddly. sometimes. fuckers.

After ranting last night about my cat, not allowing me access to my key.

Today she didn't let me sit on my own goddamn chair.......

When your crawler starts to find very weird pages on the internet...

So I installed Nougat yesterday on my OPO as some apps n Google seem to not like CM 13...

It runs so fast and smooth... Not sure why but kinda feels like I got a new phone 😄😄

Wonder what it'll be like if I ever get to upgrade to Oreo... 🤔🤔🤔🤔

And it seems it likes attracting cats

!rant

Super awesome day today.

1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.

I really love my life sometimes.

Mobile phones are from hell >:[ Well, at least my gf's Samsung is from hell. It makes noise for anything. If someone calls, play a stupid melody. If there is a text, play a stupid melody. If its battery needs to be charged, play a stupid melody. If its battery is fully charged, play a stupid melody. Even if it's in the middle of the night and people just maybe would like to get a few minutes of sleep! What's next? Play a stupid melody when the stupid Samsung Android piece of junk wants its diaper changed? Or when it's bored? Or just needs attention? Or when it realises that the word "smart" in smart phones actually means stupid? SHUT UP!!! We don't need a tamagotchi, we already have two kids and two cats to fullfill our tamagotchying needs! Technology is supposed to make life easier, not worse FFS! No wonder so many people get stressed out these days! And you, pathetic people at Samsung, or whoever that come up with these "smart" features that deprave decent people of their sleep, now it's your turn to be woken up! WAKE UP IDIOTS! Get outside your small mobile-bound shitholes of confined fart-filled bubbles! Learn about REAL LIFE, get yourselves nagging gfs, screaming kids and a PUNCH IN YOUR FACES! Maybe that will teach you to manufacture phones that SHUT THE FUCK UP during sleeping hours!

If finally happened. My cats broke me down.

After years of spotty internet, in which I couldn't resolve websites, to which the solution always was to reach down and push the RJ45 jack with the broken off clip that connects my router to my pihole back in, because my cats pulled it out once again.

They made me do. They finally made me do it. After all those years. Today, my cat pulled it out like ten times in a row... So I finally did it. I walked over in the other room, grabbed a new cable and plugged that one it.

Try that again, cat. I dare you. Try it again!

So.. pets for your avatars.. but I don't see the alternative of having a baby crawling around your feet available for choosing instead of dogs and cats.. crawling around, biting cables, smashing my keyboard steeling, buying adorable and distracting her dad from working. because that's what my home environment looks like.. maybe I don't have enough ++'s
;-)

Not me but my husband @WhAtEvErYoUmEaN keeps updating our pillows, doesn't like certain customer servers and tends to tell our cats to get a job/ point them to job counseling.

Today I've come to the realization that being a PM is like trying to herd cats. I don't have enough energy for this and programming 😣😧

I'm so sick of microservice architecture... in theory it was going to make scaling elastic and deployment easier. In reality it seems to slow productivity to a 🐌 pace.

Anyone have any brilliant suggestions on how to herd these cats in production?

Years ago, one of my friends in college was taking an intro to CS class. He asked me for help on one of his assignments. It was a simple Python program, but it wasn't running as expected. I go in figuring it will be easy to fix. But everything looks exactly right. An hour later I'm tearing my hair out! It isn't even entering the function although it's clearly called. I'm beginning to feel very self conscious, as a CS major who can't even debug a 15 line program for a friend.

Then it hit me. This is Python. I used an editor macro to convert all indentation to tabs, lined them up, and it ran on the first try. Turns out, he had somehow ended up with a mixture of tabs and spaces.

I'm not sure what the takeaway is, but I think he got a surprisingly honest introduction to the life of a developer...

Definitely how cats purr.

PSA: negate your tests and make sure they fail!

I have what I thought was a weird and slightly paranoid habit. When I write tests sometimes just as a sanity check negate the assertion to make sure the test fails and isn't a false positive. Almost always fails as expected.

But not today! Turns out I had forgotten to wrap my equality check in an assertion so it would always pass. It freaks me out to imagine pushing a test that always passes not just because it doesn't do its job, but could also obscure a bug and trick me into thinking it works differently than it does. Broken tests are the worst!

But it pays to be paranoid.

Random poll:

If you have pets, do you own a cat or a dog?

A colleague has a personal statistic that says most developers have cats rather than dogs.
Just checking her data!

It's annoying when you just want to learn something as quickly as possible but this tutor talks about his cats or random things that distract him that distract me.

Conversation in a debug meeting, after a series of confusing failures:

Senior dev: “This is stupid”
Junior dev: “Me too”

Me: *adds a shiny new graph to our foos web app showing player ratings*

Fred: Can I please have a button to see just my scores?

Me: *adds "JUST FRED" button*

Fred: perfect, thanks

!dev

It’s midnight, I’m alone in the big house, it’s pitch black outside, I had a few beers already and I thought it would be a good idea to watch some horror stuff..

I want to go out to have a smoke but I’m scared as fuck now.
There are cats running around in the dark and there are so many great opportunities for some alien zombie monsters to hide and sneak up to me..

Think I became too old for this shit.

HELP!!!

Heathrow express having some trouble this morning.

!rant Taking the kittens (they’re like 5-6 years old at this point but they’re always going to be kittens to me) to our old vet (45 minute drive from where we currently live) in a couple hours when they don’t like car rides or the vet and when we know they need to get vaccine shots and we’re not allowed to go inside with them. It’s the first time we’ve ever taken them to the vet and not been able to be there with them. 😭 I’m so nervous/anxious/scared for the little guys.

Wish me luck, friends.

This platform went to shit, sinking in a never ending sea of hate of our own making. This is why I’ll be posting cute cats everyday from now on.

Cat coding is a thing now

Cats; Programmers bestfriend; 💕

my cat waits for me to be really engrossed into coding and then decides she will take up residence on my desk and chase me off by biting my shoulders, arms, scratching my hands, face jfc

raaghhhh

what is this new habit and why

I only get this engrossed like 2 hours a day come on. WHY YOU RUINING MY JIVE

When you offer to help out a fellow coworker on the top priority feature he is developing and he just sends you the branch and stops working on it.

In ancient times, cats were worshipped; they have never forgotten.

I get home today and my wife says:

"Just finished some chores and really want to play stardew valley, but the computer has been updating for an hour!"

Windows 10 anniversary update strikes again.

Cats code in the night because C# in the dark.

• Learn new things!
• Continue my programming projects (mostly C#), and eventually publish them!
• Create more programming side-projects!
• Create more music, of various genres, and finish unfinished tracks! (I love music 💙)
• Buy a violin, or another instrument! (I already play harpsichord and piano, and I love them both)
• Buy a new PC setup! (maybe?)
• Get a driver's license!
• Create more music sheets!
• Create more custom maps, on rhythm games! (like osu! or Cytus / Cytunity)
• Make new friends, and meet with my older ones more!
• Go to places, new and old!
• Open myself more to others! (I'm kinda shy)
• Do my university's exams, properly!
• Do my conservatory's exams, also properly!
• Try drawing!
• Try all sorts of new things!
• Get a cat into the family! (I love cats, but I never got one because I don't know how to raise them, yet)
• Be more confident about myself!

And... yeah, I guess that's it :D
What about you?
Have a happy 2019, everyone! 💙

TIL cats get cold fur when asleep even when warm sometimes. I went to pet my cat and she was cold, I thought she was dead, and suddenly she springs up, trilling in surprise, as I woke her up.

Post concatenation algorithm
Cat+Cat+....

My top and only plan for 2020 is to buy the next iPad Pro and pen and learn to draw cats. No joke.

Anything from JetBrains is top-tier. Those guys just rock! Their IDEs and programs are just fantastic. Made by developers, for developers.

Who am I kidding? Cats and coffee. Those are what keep me going!

Dogs or Cats?

I just wonder how many more cats there are

I went on a coding tear last week, probably because my boss was on vacation. I optimized the bejesus out of a half dozen apps and created five or six new features to downstream apps. But now I need to write them all down, and make retroactive stories for them. I hate admin.

Have a Monday Cat, all. Don't forget to wake up this morning!

(Image was dark, so had to edit into visibility. Yes, this is one of my cats.)

It's pouring cats and dogs in Mumbai since a week. For the uninitiated, these are regular monsoon rains for the costal city.

And some motherfucker stole my umbrella from the office.

Thankfully when I left, rains had halted and I was able to commute home without getting wet.

Tomorrow when the fucker gets it back, I am gonna make them stand in rain for an hour.

Cats are soon to be extinct...my apologies...

We've been using private GitHub repos as a distribution method for our personal npm packages at work for years.

I finally got sick of it and did the work to publish them to artifactory yesterday. Today, I worked out the remaining kinks, fixed the CI builds, and wrote a wiki page explaining the change with step by step migration instructions and sent it around to the rest of the devs. And it's working great!

I feel simultaneously like a hero for finally getting this fixed and an idiot for putting up with it for so long.

Also thankful for my devops friend who helped a bunch.

When you immediately regret your career decisions.

Just had to leave this here (may take a while to load)

I suppose birds are the new cats as for relatable and silly animals

Such glorious Wednesday...

#1: Friend needs me to keep her cats, hasn't called yet to give me keys (and she's leaving tonight).

#2: Got an e-mail from a job I applied, rejected cause I flunked the impromptu technical interview (with the usual pretty wording).

#3: Helping a friend with his dissertation code in Java. Just a marvellous spaghetti code with minimal semblance of a structure and a hodgepodge of various solutions found on the Internet. 2H 40M and still nothing... At least I have my stress ball to save me from mental breakdown...

This is incredibly interesting. How the frikkin-frik did the WiFi and Bluetooth die on my Raspberry Pi 3. Yes, I realize they work in tandem but how does something like this just die after just sitting around and performing light duty tasks for just a few months.

Reinstalled Rasbpain 2 times, nothing. USB WiFi dingle works great.

Not really a rant but I wonder how shit like this happens.

The Pi is in a case away from my cats, in a temperature controlled environment and adorned with the official power adapter.

Things that make you go hmmmmmmm.

Scariest moment of my life:

Known mouse holes: 4, so far

Known mice coming into the house last night: 5, verified by recordings

Mice left on floor by cats the next morning: 7... wait.

I love cats more than dogs.

Despite being domesticated, cats remain true predators with true predator skills and the pedigree that comes with them. The evidence is your local government mandating house cats should wear bell collars to warn birds, as they threaten their extinction otherwise.

Modern dogs are mere scavengers that live off people and eat trash. They evolved to be cute by tilting their heads. Dogs aren't useless, mind you, I just like cats more.

But both dogs and cats are dwarfed by YE MIGHTY FROGGE. Frogs are the most fascinating and magnificent creatures to ever roam this troubled planet, maybe rivaled only by orcas. Frogs are the best. They're also the cutest, especially when touching a small yellow one can kill an elephant.