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I'm not an iOS expert, I just wanted to get Google ads on my iOS app so that I could make a few petty dollars at the expense of my users. Is that too much to ask?
I started by following Google's instructions: install cocoapods, copy and paste some swift code... Compile failed, app broke. Carefully retrace my steps. Nothing.
Stackoverflow (praise be with them) suggests upgrading Xcode. Go to app store and click to upgrade Xcode. No progress bar, no status updates, just that pissy little spinner for several minutes. I become impatient try a few more times. It ain't happening.
Stackoverflow (holy of holies, defender of the weak) points me to an alternate source for Xcode, on the app store dev console. 4GB and some time later, an attempt to unzip gives "unknown error". Genocide of sorts.
Stackoverflow (all that is pure, all that is kind, all... I think you get it) says upgrade your OS. I tried months ago but I had issues with that pissy little spinner. Persist. 5GB and a "heavy-year" of time later (sorry), it installs. Then Xcode installs. Then bar a few errors, the app compiles.
So after almost 24 hours, life resumes. The lesson.. respond to all obscure iOS errors by upgrading. If fully upgraded, calmly acquire a baseball bat and destroy your machine. Make sure you have a good book nearby in case of either event.
Thank you for reading my rant. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pay Apple
$150 so that I may list my app in the app store.11
I've had many, but this is one of my favorite "OK, I'm getting fired for this" moments.
A new team in charge of source control and development standards came up with a 20 page work-instruction document for the new TFS source control structure.
The source control kingpin came from semi-large military contract company where taking a piss was probably outlined somewhere.
Maybe twice, I merged down from a release branch when I should have merged down from a dev branch, which "messed up" the flow of code that one team was working on.
Each time I was 'coached' and reminded on page 13, paragraph 5, sub-section C ... "When merging down from release, you must verify no other teams are working
on branches...blah blah blah..and if they have pending changes, use a shelfset and document the changes using Document A234-B..."
A fellow dev overheard the kingpin and the department manager in the breakroom saying if I messed up TFS one more time, I was gone.
Wasn't two days later I needed to merge up some new files to Main, and 'something' happened in TFS and a couple of files didn't get merged up. No errors, nothing.
Another team was waiting on me, so I simply added the files directly into Main. Unknown to me, the kingpin had a specific alert in TFS to notify him when someone added
files directly into Main, and I get a visit.
KP: "Did you add a couple of files directly into Main?"
Me:"Yes, I don't what happened, but the files never made it from my branch, to dev, to the review shelfset, and then to Main. I never got an error, but since
they were new files and adding a new feature, they never broke a build. Adding the files directly allowed the Web team to finish their project and deploy the
site this morning."
KP: "That is in direct violation of the standard. Didn't you read the documentation?"
Me: "Uh...well...um..yes, but that is an oddly specific case. I didn't think I hurt any.."
KP: "Ha ha...hurt? That's why we have standards. The document clearly states on page 18, paragraph 9, no files may ever be created in Main."
Me: "Really? I don't remember reading that."
<I navigate to the document, page 18, paragraph 9>
Me: "Um...no, it doesn't say that. The document only talks about merging process from a lower branch to Main."
KP: "Exactly. It is forbidden to create files directly in Main."
Me: "No, doesn't say that anywhere."
KP: "That is the spirit of the document. You violated the spirit of what we're trying to accomplish here."
Me: "You gotta be fracking kidding me."
KP grumbles something, goes back to his desk. Maybe a minute later he leaves the IS office, and the department manager leaves his office.
It was after 5:00PM, they never came back, so I headed home worried if I had a job in the morning.
I decided to come in a little early to snoop around, I knew where HR kept their terminated employee documents, and my badge wouldn't let me in the building.
It was a shift change, so was able to walk in with the warehouse workers in another part of the building (many knew me, so nothing seemed that odd), and to my desk.
I tried to log into my computer...account locked. Oh crap..this was it. I'm done. I fill my computer backpack with as much personal items as I could, and started down the hallway when I meet one of our FS accountants.
L: "Hey, did your card let you in the building this morning? Mine didn't work. I had to walk around to the warehouse entrance and my computer account is locked. None of us can get into the system."
*whew!* is an understatement. Found out later the user account server crashed, which locked out everybody.
Never found out what kingpin and the dev manager left to talk about, but I at least still had a job.15
I think I will ship a free open-source messenger with end-to-end encryption soon.
With zero maintenance cost, it’ll be awesome to watch it grow and become popular or remain unknown and become an everlasting portfolio project.
So I created Heroku account with free NodeJS dyno ($0/mo), set up UptimeRobot for it to not fall asleep ($0/mo), plugged in MongoDB (around 700mb for free) and Redis for api rate limiting (30 mb of ram for free, enough if I’m going to purge the whole database each three seconds, and there’ll be only api hit counters), set up GitHub auto deployment.
So, backend will be in nodejs, cryptico will manage private/public keys stuff, express will be responsible for api, I also decided to plug in Helmet and Sqreen, just to be sure.
Actual data will be stored in mongo, rate limit counters – in redis.
Frontend will probably be implemented in React, hosted for free at GitHub pages. I also can attach a custom domain there, let’s see if I can attach it to Freenom garbage.
So, here we go, starting up modern nosql-nodejs-react application completely for free.
If it blasts off, I’m moving to Clojure + Cassandra for backend.
And the last thing. It’ll be end-to-end encrypted. That means if it blasts off, it will probably attract evil russian government. They’ll want me to give him keys. It’ll be impossible, you know. But they doesn’t accept that answer. So if I accidentally stop posting there, please tell my girl that I love her and I’m probably dead or captured28
TLDR; i wrote recursive compression with random algorithm to fuck up some lazy ass girl.
one day, unknown classmate told me she has a family reunion and cannot do his programming assignment which will be collected next day in the morning, so she ask me to do it. i say i need to put a price tag to it because i want to buy a new RasPi --i don't know her either so i don't feel bad about it. i told her i need $20 and after some bargaining it settled at $15. i work on it about 3 hours and told her it's finished and send her demo video as a proof. she happy with the result. and will come to my house later that night to get the source code. at night, she came, and give me only $8 bucks, of course i get mad, with every arguments she throws at me i resist to give her the source code. but since i tired enough to get into a longer arguments i accept the 8 bucks i go upstairs to get the source code. but instead of giving her the actual source code; i wrote a quick script to do 50 compress source code folder recursively with random compression algorithm--sometimes gzip sometimes lzma. and give her the final 50 times compressed source code. EAT SHIT MOTHERFUCKER22
Him: "I don't need source control, it's just another program that does unknown things on my source files. What if one day it stops working?? How do I get my files??"
Me: "you could say the same thing on 90% of the tools you use every day... Like when you restore npm packages by GUI"
him: "what are those? I don't use them"
Also him: "command line is vintage"2
I've compiled enough recent news to point out some notable articles in a list:
- Windows 10 20H2 can corrupt the main filesystem on SSDs when ChkDisk is run under yet-unknown circumstances (https://borncity.com/win/2020/...)
- Nintendo updated SwapNote for 3DS well after killing it off (https://nintendolife.com/news/2020/...)
- Google has finally fully open-sourced Fuschia, its attempt to replace Android, you can now make PRs and such (https://computerweekly.com/blog/...)
- a recent Win10 update for normal users is causing massive speed issues (https://pcgamer.com/microsofts-dece...)
- Amazon's trying to compete with StarLink and it's going pretty okay (https://arstechnica.com/information...)
- Cyberpunk 2077 has a fuckton of fixes in a new update, for those who care (https://theverge.com/2020/12/...)
- Xbox 360-based Halo games are going to have their online component killed in December 2021, for those who care (https://halowaypoint.com/en-us/...)
i forget who said they liked these last time i did them but to that one person, here you are.16
I fucking hate Visual Studio!
Don't get me wrong, from time to time I actually enjoy it but not today.
It all went south when I tried to add a new handler to an fucking old asp.net webpage. I had the access the 'Range' headed to stream bits of audio and video files to the client. It was working absolutely fine for the first hour and a half, after that point the fun started...
VS decided that my source code and the binaries won't match anymore. Everytime I tried to add a fucking breakpoint or debug this cunt of an error it would just refuse
The worst part that made me go apeshit was when I finally got a breakpoint and the exception. Some unknown fucking system dll just kept on killing my thread without a proper error message because it's optimized to the fucking moon and back!
Any ideas from the devs here on what's going on and how the fuck I can fix this?6
How can i fix this?
tried installing new jre
and currently running jdk-13.0.1
Error: A JNI error has occurred, please check your installation and try again
Exception in thread "main" java.lang.UnsupportedClassVersionError: First has been compiled by a more recent version of the Ja
va Runtime (class file version 57.0), this version of the Java Runtime only recognizes class file versions up to 52.0
at java.lang.ClassLoader.defineClass1(Native Method)
at java.lang.ClassLoader.defineClass(Unknown Source)
at java.security.SecureClassLoader.defineClass(Unknown Source)
at java.net.URLClassLoader.defineClass(Unknown Source)
at java.net.URLClassLoader.access$100(Unknown Source)
at java.net.URLClassLoader$1.run(Unknown Source)
at java.net.URLClassLoader$1.run(Unknown Source)
at java.security.AccessController.doPrivileged(Native Method)
at java.net.URLClassLoader.findClass(Unknown Source)
at java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass(Unknown Source)
at sun.misc.Launcher$AppClassLoader.loadClass(Unknown Source)
at java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass(Unknown Source)
at sun.launcher.LauncherHelper.checkAndLoadMain(Unknown Source)
java version "1.8.0_251"
Java(TM) SE Runtime Environment (build 1.8.0_251-b08)
Java HotSpot(TM) Client VM (build 25.251-b08, mixed mode)