AboutA series of post-traumatic experiences from maintaining other people’s code.
SkillsJS, GO, RUST and complaining
Joined devRant on 5/10/2018
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Fuck open office spaces.
A few months ago I landed a super sweet job as a senior full stack developer, mainly going to work with their Python microarchitecture. The company pays well, has a sweet balance between freedom and responsibility, 30 days vacation etc.
During the recruiting process they walked me around the office that was super cozy with 14 devs in on large room and 10 people from marketing in another. They also mentioned that they would move and merge office with operations and customer service (around 100 more people) in a few months.
Life was good in the old office, I thought that this is the company where I will work for a looooong time.
Now we are in the new office and its fucking shit. No walls or FUCKING CEILINGS between departments. Right above my head there is balcony with customer service talking loud as fuck 24/7. Everyone that is not a developer is just so fucking loud.
I have to use earplugs AND earmuffs to get silence, or blast my ears with way to loud music. Every day around lunch I'm completely done mentally.
I know I'm extra sensitive to noise because of my ADHD, but seriously who the fuck thought this was a good idea?
All the devs have told our boss what needs to be done. If they listen i don't know. In the meantime I will start looking for a new job....14
Your entire time with the company, be polite and cordial, don't say risky things, basically be a good boy. But importantly, stay social. Just politely social.
After several months of this, enough time that your fellow employees and management are well aware of your personality, go to the PM in private. Threaten them that if they don't leave you alone you're going to break into their house at night, sedate them, dislocate their jaw and take a shit down their throat.
The beauty of this is that they can't reasonably go to anyone over this, as it's totally unbelievable and out of character. And will be so horrified of what they just heard that they will leave you alone.1
I wrote another docker blog post and this time I used it to solve a real problem at work 🤘
let me know if you have any feedback/comments on the content.
3 REWRITES, 3 GOD DAMN REWRITES. Just decided that A* Path Finding Algorithm looks nice and felt like sure lets have a go...
3 REWRITES to get it right and even then there are minor bugs, sometimes coding is my passion, other times I wish I didn't know how to turn a PC on :/2
Me: Visual Studio 2019 is acting weird. I should close it and re-open.
Me: *Clicks X in top right of instance window*
Dialog: Not enough memory to perform this operation.
How can a candidate have 10+ years or experience with C++ and let alone struggle with the most simple exercise!?
Thoughts from the inner me during an actual interview:
FOR FUCK SAKE, DUDE, PUT THAT "std::" IN FRONT OF YOUR "vector" AND IT WILL COMPILE!
USE ITERATORS GODDAMMIT INSTEAD OF THOSE FUCKING INDEXES. YOUR CODE IS FULL OF DAMN OVERFLOW ERRORS!
HAVE YOU EVER REALIZED THAT ARRAYS CAN BE EMPTY SOMETIMES?5
Joined a new workplace. Lead wants me to research on the available list of certain frameworks.
But they have already built a couple of services using certain frameworks and they don't seem to be having any issues with them.
I asked why look for new ones when you already have stuff that work for you and they're like "It's working - is not a reason to not look for new ones".
I mean WTF? Isn't "Don't try to fix things that are not broken" literally the point?4
Best thing to do when you're having a bad day:
> Post a video on YouTube telling people that you're developing a machine learning algorithm for drones to identify obstacles.
> Show them a basic HTML code on your computer screen.
> Disable the comments4
*came in this morning to see this conversation in slack from the remote teams*
Dev: Hey guys, I'm trying to push to the develop branch, telling me its locked. Is there a new process?
Lead dev: Yes I locked it because the repo is now dead, the last release that went out is the last for this year and ever for this app. Were merging this app with another, starting from the last release's code. We'll all have to swap over to the new repo soon.
Dev: ... eh ok I didn't put anything in the last release branch as it wasn't urgent. Normally our process is anything in /develop goes out in the new year. I've been merging to /develop for the last few weeks ... is that code now gone?
*14 question mark emoji reactions*
Lead dev: Yes
*27 angry emoji reactions*
Engineering manager: WHAT? when was this decided? When was it communicated?
Lead dev: oh I assumed my product counterpart had been spreading the messages around, have they not?
Several teams: no, nope, first i'm hearing of it.
Lead dev: Ok, i'll ask them what happened. Be aware then that most of the stuff thats going into develop now, most likely won't be allowed in until March. They want to prioritise releasing this new merged app and don't want anything to impact it.
Dev: So wait, i'm working on stuff now. What do I do? Where do I base the branch? Where do I merge?
*My team comes into the office*
Dev: eeehhh ... what does this mean for our past 4 weeks of work? and all the stuff needed to go out in January?
My first freelance project - happened to be with the worst client. They didnt wanna pay more than $500 and also had no clue what they want, so each time i present something they request additional features or changing the ones implemented. In the end i kept the half downpayment for my time and bailed without deploying or anything. I introduced them to another freelancer to take the project and never went near them again.
To clarify, it was not my first project/ just my first time dealing with clients for projects instead of doing them at work. Ever since then i have a strict no dealing with clients directly policy.2
I have an iot solutions company which has 0.5 millions hits per day just from 7 devices. It is on shared server and it bogs down every now and then. In future it is going to grow to 100 million hits.
What kind of cloud instance on aws should i use. Or is there any special hosting for iot devices.4
Apparently some universities think it's acceptable to take grads' money, teach them a few months of Visual Basic and tell them they're ready for employment in 2019.1
3 years ago I became the logistics coordinator of the very first edition of Hacknarök. Now I became the main coordinator of the 4th edition! Honestly I can't wait to do this 😁 I feel so blessed cause this project is like my child 😅2
Apple has programmed an avatar maker in iMessage that generates emoji that are supposed to resemble the person. However it does not have any setting for facial structure to represent a person’s sex. I’m pretty sure they did it because “gender is a construct”.
When I was growing up I had some issues with gender dysphoria. I am male genetically. I was mistaken as female my whole childhood because I was “pretty”, my best friends were girls, and I liked cooking, drawing, and dancing. Puberty happened and I started to look like a man. I considered transitioning because I felt female but I decided to let my body do what it wants and do the things I like to do without worrying about if they are gendered or not. I am married and male and I like what I like.
This stupid iMessage avatar. I have tried my hardest to make it look like me. I have long hair and keep my facial hair clean. They don’t have a switch to change some facial physiological traits so I have this Memoji that looks like a woman with a slight hormonal imbalance. It makes me feel conflicted like I felt when I was young. I haven’t thought about it in years and now I feel like I have an uncomfortable secret female avatar that i carry around on my phone and I feel like I’m carrying a secret.
A persons genetics result in differences in facial structures. Biological sex is more than the length of hair and whether a person wears makeup. I hate this “sex is a construct” trend. I’m fine living my life, but then companies push this software onto my phone like propaganda. I want it to look as masculine as I look IRL.19
I am sick of seeing articles about imposter syndrome. The developer community as a whole should stop circlejerking each other. Let's face the reality that some developers are just shit and that's it.13
Have you worked on something impressive and wanted to tell a non-programmer about it?
You start to figure out a way to say it, but then you decide 'nah they will not get it'.
But you still want to talk about it with someone so bad... Its super unsatisfying to not be able to explain this tech shit to the people you like.
If you were a pilot, you could say shit like 'i landed a plane during a storm while eating a burrito' and everyone would be like omg thats amazing.
What do I have to say? I made an auto pilot system for a plane, so that a pilot can land it during storm while eating a fucking burrito.. what's their response?
ehm okay <crickets chirping>
So... some guy at the company I work for complains to software dept that we've broken his app.
He's saying we've removed the drop down list from this field he uses....
We're all like... there's never been a drop down list there?!
it escalates and some big-dogs get involved. One of us has to go out and see him. Turns out the "drop down list" was his browsers saved autocomplete history, and he had changed browsers.
How to kill a laptop in two steps:
1. Run React Native metro bundler
2. Run debugger
and a 16GB core i7 laptop on Ubuntu will leave this life :)2
Fucking hell. Today we reviewed candidates for a web dev position. I already fucking know that here we ain't gonna get a top motherfucker, i already know that the person selected will have to be rigorously trained AND THAT IS FUCKING FINE WITH ME.
The thing is, fucking head of the departmen was hellbent on just grabbing people with the highest education possible setting aside lack of experience. I would not have minded if it weren't because we have a secretary that applied...that got her degree in our very own institution and that has worked with our CMS admin creating web stuff. She is smart and has the drive man, and i don't even like her, but i could see her being in the position, being trained and doing good.
Hod said no, because of her lack of education and experience.....BRUH she got her associate's at OUR SCHOOL wtf do we have students go through it if we ain't gonna hire them if they intend on applying to work with us like wtf might as well advertise that: the degree provided by this institution is not good enough to work with us :D that would be 3000 for those two classes thank u.
Holy fuck i was beyond upset man, if i am to train these fuckers might as well be someone that i know will give it her all and studied with us. Dude quoted favoritism and i said that i was just going by the data that i have on her holy fuck.11
Worst disturbance while working?
Some of my faves:
- Mgr flying his new $400 drone around the office (hitting walls, ceiling, etc). I mentioned the price because he crashed it a week later (un-repairable kind of crash), so I didn't feel too sorry for his loss.
- Mgr trying out his new blowgun and blowing darts at a cardboard box down/bewtween the cube hallway (where anyone could walk out of at any time). We would hear the "pfffft" and a loud 'Yea!'.
- Mgr would walk by a cube entry-way, fart, and walk away laughing.
- Mgr called me into area and his desk+the floor area around his desk was covered in peanut shells.
Me: "Wow, you got a mess here."
Mgr: "Yea, got tired of trying to hit the trash can. Maintenance will vacuum the office this weekend."
The mess was one thing, but what disturbed me the most was this asshole thinks Maintenance-Jim has nothing better to do than clean up after this so-called adult.
Karma kicked in and an hour later the owner's wife (we're still a family owned company, so he+his wife are on friendly basis with everyone) stopped by to say hi and walked in on the mess.
June: "What do we have here!?"
Mgr: "Oh...um...uh..I was eating a few peanuts and putting the shells in the trash can and accidentally knocked it over. I was on my way to get the vacuum cleaner."
June: "Hmmm...this looks like more than a few. *You* clean it up right now and *never* let me see this again!"
Mgr: "Yes..yes ma'am...right now.."
Whole office heard the exchange and it was frickin' awesome.12