Me: “I want the AWS instance with 2TB of RAM.”

Friend: “What on earth for!?”

Me: “I need to run the Slack client and Chrome at the same time.”

Error! Factory produced more than one instance of Singleton!

They said I needed to keep my commit messages "PG13".

What they failed to realize is every PG13 movie is allowed 1 instance of "fuck".

Amazon support guy: Oh its a Windows instance. I'm a Linux Engineer so...
Me: I know your pain. I'm in pain, too. Now help me.

This is not really a rant, but...dude.

I was browsing github for a suitable library when i found a test repo of someone. A script inside and at the top he wrote his authentication token. I first thought it was a placeholder or an example or a test he used. No. I entered the token and could control his instance of the app. I sent him a message to disable this token.

Try not to use floating point numbers in places where precision is important. Like for instance, money. Always store the base value where it makes the most sense

Me: Visual Studio 2019 is acting weird. I should close it and re-open.

Me: *Clicks X in top right of instance window*

Dialog: Not enough memory to perform this operation.

=/

gonna be a poor boy

Actual conversation:
- Vim has weird commands. For instance, you copy by typing "Y".
- Why?
- Correct.

Taking online privacy to the next level?

Not entirely sure but I've gotta say that it feels awesome to run an instance of searx.me on my own server and kind of use my own server for searching stuff online now!

Fuck yeah.

I can maintain your shitty legacy node 6 code
And the shitty m3 ec2 instance with Ubuntu 16 that it runs on
And another one with postgres 9
But if I have to make a powerpoint presentation, I am jumping ship.
A man has his limits

About to delete ~2TB of data.

I need a fresh start. I'm a data hoarder.

About to wipe my drives and start over. I've had this piticular instance since I was 17 (I'm 21)

I'm sticking with windows though, because my games wont run on linux.

Setting my ssh banner to an instance of cowsay speaking the navy seal copypasta is one of my best ideas yet

Once my teacher was taking my viva and she asked me to explain the below line.

Scanner sc = new Scanner(System.in)

I told her that this creates a newScanner instance which points to the input stream passed as argument
She shouted at me and said that I am wrong.
She explained to me that this line creates a new object not an instance

/*
Pickup line by a dev-

Hey girl,
I always thought `love` was a static class till you made an instance of it!

copied
*/

Series of events between me (Mi) and dude in office (DIO).

Instance 1
DIO: There is not psql installed on staging.
Mi: Install it.
DIO: YUM is not working.
Mi: *tries yum it works* It is
DIO: Oh. Didn't work earlier.
Mi: *blank* Make sure you install 9.6
DIO: Cannot find psql
Mi: *types psql, it is already installed*
DIO: Oh, didn't work earlier.

Instance 2
DIO: Made this change to the API, the endpoint is not returning the right value
Mi: *restarts server, shit starts working*
DIO: I am pretty sure I did that, don't know what happened.

Instance 3
DIO: Cannot alter role to give login to this db user.
MI: *runs alter role db_user with login* works
DIO: Don't know why it wasn't working before.

Instance 4
DIO: I have been stuck on this test for the past 1 day, cannot get the API to return the right data while the Rest Endpoint works fine.
Mi: You are hitting the wrong endpoint in the test.
DIO: Oh, I put an extra 's'
Mi: BTW you are testing Spring-Boot with that test and nothing else.
DIO: Yes but what if Spring Boot has a bug?
Mi: ok.

When you type chmod 777 / instead of chmod 777 ./ on an AWS EC2 instance and have to unmount the volume attach it to a new instance reconfigure the permissions unmount it and connect it back to the original instance :)

Yep. So the dev teams boss says it's fine to run a production environment on a single Windows instance with the db on that same instance, which they already totally lost once from a reboot after an auto update before I came along tasked with fixing the cluster fuck they created.

This from a man who somehow runs a dev team while using gmail via the web because he can't use an email client, uses email to track tasks but can't because they get lost amongst his 3000+ unread emails, has a screen dirtier than a hookers vag on half priced Tuesday, and got a new laptop but had to get his daughter to set it up and transfer his data because he couldn't.

But ok... you have a degree, You must know what you're doing.
It's ok though, I'll keep covering your incompetent ass while you keep raping the company because no one listens.
Peoples ignorance and arrogance astounds me.

I think I've got a working searx instance which I'd open up for the public.

NOTE: I cannot prove that I don't store anything because for that you'd need root access to the server which I won't give obviously. If you're not comfortable with that, just don't uses it.

I still have to do something for ip address logging anonymising or stripping, though. (nginx + CSF provided enough abuse prevention).

Tips on that?

Used to pay $5/mo on a small instance for my personal site. Then I discovered Kubernetes and realized my site didn't scale! No canary deployments! So I upgraded and pay $200/mo now. Took weeks to configure. Millions of people can now read my resume. Damn, it's never looked better

I come from PHP and have been using jQuery as a crutch for years. I've dabbled in Node and obviously writing some vanilla JS is unavoidable, but now I'm starting to use ES6 with Babel and VueJS and the more I dig in, the more I hate javascript. Everything is an object (null, array), there seems to be a few gotchas with math (including the one pictured), nothing is strongly typed but types are very important (for instance, you can't loop an object and an array using the same code), and there are a lot of inconsistencies/functions missing. ucwords for instance. Why doesn't that exist? typeof only returns object, but Array.isArray and Object.isObject work fine. I'm going to give typescript a go soon and cross my fingers.

Junior dev requests for sudo access on a server instance for some package installation, gets it, figures out how to open the root shell - never goes back. They do everything on root.

Fast forward to production deployment time, their application won't run without elevated privileges. Sysadmin asks why does the application require elevated privileges. Dev answers, "Because I set it up with root" :facepalm:

*describes problem that a system doesn't work behind an nginx proxy, routing to another nginx instance*

*some random "expert" jumps in*

hurrdurr: It works behind nginx proxy, with APACHE, I don't even get why you would want to run nginx behind nginx omg

I spent three hours making a custom color scheme for my instance of visual studio. Almost every color in it is a variation on hot pink. I've used it every day for the last three years.

The background is black, though, because I'm not a complete animal.

Guy to a girl,
"I always thought Love() was a static class, until you made an instance of it."

🤘 😈😈😹 🤘
Wordpress documentation...
"
Hi all, 😎 welcome to wordpress.
Use it as your last resort. Fuck all programming langs. Php is love, php is life."

Oh by the way documentation also says:
"
Wordpress gives you all the freedom you can imagine. Say for instance... You can use any language for server EXCEPT python, ruby, java, c# and many more.[note: Keep looking for the updated list of EXCEPT as new languages come we add it here.]
"
😂😂😂

Remember to regularly defragment your drives on linux. use this handy command.

dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sdX bs=1M

Terminology:
dd: Disk defragment
if: input file (the pattern to search for, and should always be /dev/zero)
of: output file (your disk, /dev/sda for instance)
bs: blocsize 1M is fine here

#7

The former dev tried to implement redirects. He created dozens of routes wich lead to a 'redirectXY' method within the 'mainController'. There he returned a redirect Instance.

😓🔨

# PROD

* 10 app instances running
* 1 instance starts burning up 100% cpu
* we ask for a Thread Dump (stack traces)
* we get a TD taken after they manually restarted the instance
* they: "Please investigate. We need this fixed ASAP"
* .....

EVERY FUCKING TIME!!! Not once in recent years have they managed to take a TD correctly. What kind of a retarded monkey do you have to be for this to not sink in for YEARS!

Who tf put those idiot monkeys there in the first place...

Forgot to secure my mongo db instance, found half the data gone, and a new db holding me at ransom , learn_how_to_recover_your_data , good thing offline backups are a thing.

Recovered in no time, never will I ever repeat this mistake

Tried matrix a little with my own instance. Joined a room with 10k people just to notice how I got a flood of http requests from several thousands of servers.

And that, brought my network down lol

One sentence horror:

"Hey, did you forget to turn off that GPU instance?"

I’m writing funky code. I hope no one notices.

For instance, I needed to add a function which returns whatever is input to it.

!rant

Coding is like having superpowers.
For instance: For school i have to read 8 books and I have limited time and motivation. What I did? I wrote a program that filters the text from a pdf or epub and converted it to spoken text with gtts (Google Text To Speech).

Now all I have to to is to listen to the story and relax..

Now I know what it feels like to be an EC2 instance

I use the word 'instance' way too much in my everyday life.

AWS sent us notification saying our EC2 instance is about to be retired due to hardware degradation and scheduled for 22nd Feb.
Problem is... They've already pulled the plug to the instance without warning....
So here I am, trying to get the server back online after 4 beers....

Worst part:

Either "Can you fix my PC, it won't start"

Or "Can you hack <some instance here> for me because <some stupid reason>

You don't know pain until you try writing a bash script using VIM ... on a ec2 instance ... WITH A SHIT ASS INTERNET CONNECTION

**slowly peels off face**

//Dunno what causes these random connection errors; probably just hiccups in connection between our EC2 instance and Discord
try {
client.login(token);
} catch(e) {
//Do nothing, just prevent it from crashing the main thread and the client will reconnect
}

Why is this Jenkins instance running a Jenkins docker image on top

Fuuuuck you AWS!!!
If you have a feature called “termination protection” perhaps it should actually prevent an instance from being terminated!

But nooo, you add *one line* of text on a documentation unrelated to ec2 terminations saying that in this particular scenario, it will terminate your instance.

Eat a dick. Eat a bag of dicks. Eat all of the dicks you fucking turd munchers.
Now I have to manually enter a month of invoices from the order emails that were created. 😡

Tried mining ethereum today. Just wanted to check that out, for the heck of it. Fired off a p3.16xlarge instance on AWS, 4 x Tesla V100 running at $12 an hour! It was an absolute beast. Anyway, kept it running for 9 hours and earned about $5 before shutting it down. Cost me $108 to earn that $5. Had a lot of credits expiring in a couple of days, so I wanted to burn them off anyway.

So crypto mining, not easy money.

I'm getting convinced that some areas are not teachable. You have to learn it by yourself. Databases (sql), for instance, the teacher never manages to get the class attention. Even I that consider myself a very interested guy can't handle 2 hours of his explanations. I tried to think in a better way he could teach the content but don't really think there is one ..Do you guys faced issues like that in school?

Update to my "I broke prod" rant:

- I managed to unfuck it on the same evening.
- Worked fine for one day
- Crashed today morning
- Can't fix it because I had surgery yesterday and am on sick leave currently
=> Probably gonna result in me VPNing into the comp network and RDPing into the prod instance to analyse the failure

Yep, ladies and gents, more open heart surgery on the menu!

The worst was an open source project I tried to look at.

It was written in Turbo Pascal.

I am not sure, never really got so far, but it looked like it was one single class with hundreds of methods and hundreds of instance fields for data.

Almost no data objects, if it needed for example 4 sets of 6 variables it had 24 instance fields and in some instances 4 different sets of methods for accessing said variables.

Around there I stopped looking ;)

Monthly Update call
Me : I need 2 undivided weeks in the next 3 months to make some refactoring to our codebase, so we dont have issues in scaling.

Senior Manager (with years of tech experience almost equal to my age) :
Why would we need that, We are already hosted on AWS so we can just spin up more instances.

Me ( trying to hold the rage inside) : No it doesnt work that way, that will only hurt us more than help.

Him : What if we try with a bigger instance size. Its AWS, sure they will have a bigger instance.

Me : No, tha....
Him : (cuts me off) How about we use autoscaling and let AWS decide

Me : (Silently praying for a gun that shots across video calls.)

Fuck google cloud platform. My server has been down for last 4 days. Stupid reason google gives me is that it does not have resources available in my zone. Why the fuck do you start a hosting company if you cannot provide RAM and CPU. On top of that their support is so bad that after 20 emails, 4 chat tickets, 3 phone calls nobody knows the issue I am facing. They just give the links to their ultra stupid documentarion.
Now all my 6 projects are down. Clients are getting impatient. I cannot do any work and googles support is the worst.
They dont even want to understand the issue, dont know how they will solve it.

I have created AWS instance now and migrated to AWS. But i have old backups which are useless on AWS. To get the latest backups i need google cloud instance to get started but stupid google does not have resources. How hard it is to add 1 CPU and 1GB RAM?

I hate Python.

Deploying it is annoying, and the fact that I basically need to create another Python instance via 'virtualenv' only so that projects can co-exist without dependency-issues is maddening.

I would be greatfull for Python 3.6+ at least, but NO we're stuck on Python 2.7

My problem with a lot of free resources/class assignments is we're being forced to make useless shit. For instance, an interactive textbook we use has some stupid fucking turtle assignments.

Why not make it something relevant? One of the first things i ever made was a Fahrenheit to Celcius converter. That's a real world application, since not many can calculate that math in their head.

Me: *builds new state machine* Ok this makes adding new instance states easier, should also make enemy AI a million times easier!

Me after trying to do enemy AI: FUCKING CUNT! This system is a piece of fucking shit for AI, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, etc

I think this will be harder than expected bois!

*Eye twitches*

Thought... I've never '--' a rant and can't think of an instance when I would.

It continually never ceases to amaze me how many people ask me a question without doing the proper research beforehand. For instance, "How far is the Earth from Jupiter?" How am I supposed to know that? The only thing I'm going to do is Google it and then tell you anyway. Stop asking me stupid questions that you can easily search yourself!

I wish people would stop using Electron for everything. It's like running an instance of a bloated web browser every time I open an app. Running Slack and Spotify eats a ton of ram, a chat client and a music player. I'm resorting to just running these apps as pinned browser tabs.

When you create a new instance of class...

What's the funniest combination of commands/keywords/variables you've seen?

I'm a big fan of "man touch" 😂
Also, a colleague named an instance of System.Threading.SemaphoreSlim to Fatboy (Fatboy Slim, get it? 😏)

Let's hear it!

edit: tounge twisters are also welcome

Is there anything uglier than XML documentation comments? The signal to noise ratio is appalling, like an exercise in redundancy for the sake of redundancy.

/// <summary>
/// Initializes a new instance of the <see cref="CipherInfo"/> class.
/// </summary>
/// <param name="keySize">Size of the key.</param>
/// <param name="cipher">The cipher.</param>
public CipherInfo(int keySize, Func<byte[], byte[], Cipher> cipher)
{ ... }

Compare that to the equivalent markdown documentation comments:
/// Initializes a new instance of the <see cref="CipherInfo"/> class.
/// ##Parameters
/// - `keySize` - Size of the key.
/// - `cipher` - The cipher.
public CipherInfo(int keySize, Func<byte[], byte[], Cipher> cipher)
{ ... }

NullDeveloperException : When the coffee pot is empty and developer is not set to an instance of an object anymore.

Productivity.dispose();

Just a normal day hydrating my protected objects with an instance of H2O

They said a "t2.medium DB Instance" was enough for three production systems...

Supervisor: YOU NEED TO INCREASE THE COVERAGE OF YOUR UNIT TESTS! THE FILE logger.js DOESN'T HAVE >80% COVERAGE! IMAGINE PICKING THIS UP 6 MONTHS FROM NOW!

Bro. It's a Winston instance.
I am literally exporting a fucking Winston instance with 0 custom logic.
If 6 months from now I take a file and can't understand a Winston instance anymore, you're well within your right to fire me on the spot.

Today at work I accidentally redeployed our ELK instance without taking a backup of all of Kibana's saved objects...

I didn't realize Elastic stores all indexes including the Kibana's in it's app folder by default.

Tomorrow will be fun.... I can't decide what to do first... Recreating all the charts and tables from memory... Or fixing the deployment script to change the data dir path...

Some Project Manager outsourced a redundant RADIUS setup with MySQL backend. We got 2 copies of a daloradius appliance running on Ubuntu 10.04. Once I saw this, I started to get a bit suspicious and requested to audit the system and database redundancy. With the system in production, and without getting back any documentation, I got into the VMs using the default root password. This was not even the worst part, as I found. One server was using a local MySQL instance, while the other was also using the first one's MySQL instance. When I reported this, I was told to comment clearly any changes to the configuration files, which resulted in commenting the word SHAME above each change.

Share your look-busy scripts

I'm talking about some script, or command(s) which output impressive garbage to the screen. For instance, `tree / | od` or `ping google.ca | xxd` might be enough to dazzle an executive, but to really ensnare a fellow dev, you need to get a bit more complex.

So let's see those scripts! From stupid simple, to application-level complex, I wanna see 'em all! :D

Just one or two days ago there was a guy asking for opinions on his UI (a reddit viewer app). I couldn't find him and wanted to ask him a question tho.

You probably use some class for fetching the data from reddit, hoe to you make it accessible within your app? Storing a static instance within the application class (like many do with the application context) and using that one?

Would be nice if you could answer ^^

Had some fun running automated UI tests today.

Background: My project is a cloud based tool for running automated tests against a 3rd party SaaS product, so when you start a test run, it opens a Firefox window and runs some selenium automation against the 3rd party product.

Our UI tests also open a Firefox window to log into our local env and run some selenium.

Today I tried to run 4 of our UI tests in parallel.

So each test case creates a Firefox instance, and each of those starts a test run which creates another Firefox instance, sometimes 2, depending on the process being tested.

In short, at one point I had 11 different Firefox windows open, all running selenium automation.

My laptop sounded like it was trying to take off...

I like my work colleague, great to talk to, bless his heart, however he has this mysterious power to make whatever he writes sound super passive aggressive or aloof. For instance:

Me: this request , to clarify you want me to do this, as per this document
Him: is that what you presume?
Me: 🤨

How awesome would it be to be able to migrate to a cattle-approach from a pets-approach when it comes to the human body, just kill your old body and start using a new one

Sickness? Create a new instance of your base image. Death? Just spin up a new instance and you're ready to move on. Broken arm? Kill body and get a new one.

Ofcourse, since we're stateful this method is kinda harder, unless you consider your conciousness an external database/soul

As a team lead, what would you do if one of your direct reports sent obscenely bad code for review? Like absolutely nonsensical, non-working, touching wrong parts of the project, doing wrong things… Terrible even by your company's standards.

Would you consider it an instance of stupidity? Tiredness? A resignation letter? An insult? A cry for help? A combination of those things?

java is like that girl I have mixed feelings for.
on one instance I want to take her out for a movie,
on another I want to murder her by repeated stabbing... okay, maybe that's just for java...😨

How many of you actually study without any sort of aiding substance such as coffee or vitamin pills? I do, for instance.

I don't use any aid but it makes it more difficult sometimes. I just eat wholesome food and work out to make my brain have enough energy to process difficult matter.

Today,
I tried setting up XAMPP for running my friends code.. it took 5hrs and faced atleast one issue in every step from installation to running.

First
1) XAMPP Did not download itself, found that internet was down.

2) downloaded finally, installation phase went till 98% fatal error, windows collecting info for diagnosis

5)after 3 tries , suddenly it installed successfully

6)Apache force shut, every time I started it

7)1.5 hours later found VM had occupied the port 80, making it shut.
Changed the port

8)PHPmyadmin was recent ,that SQL 5.1 support was not There.

9)Now after setting up new instance of MySql 5.6 , created conflict.
Project referred one instance and PHPmyadmin referred other

10) Changed port numbers and added service entry in windows to make it work

At last the struggle ended up with happy ending.

My installation story precisely

Iam new to PHP development and XAMPP.

I setup an ec2 instance today

Junior Dev finished hes masters. Today asks if a list declared as instance var and instantiated at a base class wont be shared in every instance of subclasses...

String.replace and String.replaceAll in Java. Doubly anti-intuitive naming... First it makes you think replace will replace a single instance in the string but aCtUaLlY replace is replaceAllByExactMatch and replaceAll is replaceAllByRegexMatch.

Just as bad are C's fwrite and fseek which have the target FILE* in opposite ends of the parameter list

Work on a product to categorize text… previous guy implemented an NLP solution that took 20 per body of text (500 words or so) in a $400/mo AWS instance, was about 80% accurate and needed “more data for training” 🤦‍♂️

I thought (and still think) that for some use cases AI is straight up snake oil. Decided instead to make an implementation with a word list and a bunch of if statements in Go… no performance considerations, loops within loops reading every single word… I just wanted to see if it worked and maybe later I could write it more optimized in Rust or something…

first time I ran it it took so little that I thought it had a bug… threw more of the test data we had for the NLP, 94% accuracy, 50 flipping milliseconds per body of text in a $5/mo AWS instance!!!

Now, that felt good!!
(The other guy… errr… left, that code is still the core of product of the company I built it for, I got bored and moved to another company :)

Interviewer: Could you please make a class to force it create one instance at most?
Me: Sure!
(I didn't know the singleton pattern)

class A {
public static bool isCreated = false;
A() {
if(isCreated == true)
throw new Exception();
isCreated = true;
}
}

Ok so apparently somebody at Google gcp thought it would be a great idea to be able to select more than one instance at a time and select something like delete and it goes ahead and deletes it without any sanity checks.

3 days down the tube

FUCK YOU WORDPRESS wtffff with that shit , i can't use multisite if running in 8081 port ?, fuck you! your """ cli """, your media folder with that month and year stupid subfolders, your plugins and your fucking unit test running on a complete WP instance. GO FUCK YOURSELF! stop with that shit and remake all that shit.

!rant && feature_request
Could we have option for being notified when particular user posts something? There are people here that i'd like to "follow".

I imagine it would need some granular control there (for instance being notified about user rants but not necessarily comments).
Also it shouldn't be visible for anyone - meaning that you don't know if and how many people "follow" you just to prevent it from being twitter-like outlet and popularity contest.

Thoughts?
@dfox, @trogus

Pet hate... Designers supplying flats with "click here for some shit" "to contact us Click here". There should never be an instance when you use the words click here. Besides being really bad shit for many reasons, how do you click on a touch screen. Lazy bastards.

The application that was working fine on local host failed to do one task which is to read users data from excel and save it on mongo db, in some collection document's embedded document. My last night and today morning was tensed due to this. So I decided to re deploy the same application on another instance that I have. Worked completely fine
😐😐😐

This quote made my day.

"Dependency Injection" is a 25-dollar term for a 5-cent concept. [...] Dependency injection means giving an object its instance variables. [...]."

When I was starting with Python at work I was very confused about identifying what is function, class, module, object instance, etc. just by name so I asked my colleague with PHP background to follow PEP8 and use meaningful names for objects. He's like okay and the next day I find this:

class vv(models.Model):

I just love PHP. You can do so much awesome stuff with it. Here, let me show you:

How to READ a private member of an object:
$reader = \Closure::bind(function ($instance, $name) {
return $instance->{$name};
}, null, $instance);
$value = $reader($instance, $name);

How to WRITE a private member of an object:
$writer = \Closure::bind(function ($instance, $name, $value) {
$instance->{$name} = $value;
}, null, $instance);
$writer($instance, $name, $value);

See? Just like that. This is really amazing stuff. I don't know of any other languages that allow this.

Thanos goes into an AWS Bar and asks for an EC2 Instance. What will be that instance family?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
General Purpose. Why? Because everything should be balanced.

Monday morning we found out our main event queue hadn't processed since late Wednesday afternoon. Shit was hitting the fan and we were stumped. What had changed?!?. Why wasn't the queue processor running?!?

Turns out a server restart had killed the job (no worries there, surely?!) but turns out the job checked for a system flag on disk to stop it running multiple instance or in this case as the flag was still present any instance at all. Got to love the little things that really screw you over.

Set-up a 5 node EC2 cluster in AWS; Install my dependencies on all; Add private keys between all for handshake; Submit my Hadoop job for processing; AWS closes my instance within 10 minutes of starting a job that took me almost half an hour to set-up because the master node's spot costs have reached more than 15 USD :(

Writing a variable/class name in two languages (Spanish/English for instance) at the same time.

Changed the Ora DB instance type to one having 2x fewer CPUs. That alone increased the db perf ~4x+

So I suck at scripts, windows scripts namely. I need a script to monitor a program on machine and send an email if it goes down. There are eight instances running on the machine and they can be determined to be working if a specific port is open, one port per instance. I have no clue where to start and I thought it could be done with some existing service or script. Suggestions?

Set up an Ubuntu AWS ec2 instance running nodejs reverse proxied by nginx, kept running by pm2 and SSL provisioned by certbot.

I know that sounds like nothing but buzzwords but it really felt awesome to get a little node app stack sorted out!

I accidentally forgot to stop my EC2 instance.....

No joke, I have had to use all of my money that I made through freelancing(20 bucks)

I might be pushing my 4 years old macbook pro too hard with 2 IDEs, 1 instance of datagrip, and tons of open browser tabs, all on 4gb of RAM..

I spent 4 hrs today setting up an Amazon ec2 instance. I screwed up one configuration file and broke everything. Grrrrrrr.

"There's a branch on terraform-our-project called instance-rols"

"Can you send me a link?"

OMG are you really so fucking lazy you can't go to the fucking git web interface, look up the damn project and click on the fucking branch?

Q: "Babe, what's wrong?"
Women: "Nothing, its just fine"
Compilers: "Object reference not set to an instance of an object"

My boss is one of those og compsci guys that’s in his sixties writing code since his 20s. He’s usually highly competent... which is why I almost fell out of my chair laughing when he force killed the integration testing instance with all the clients connected thinking he was in the simulated environment

Don't know if this is just me but I fucking hate it when YouTube move stuff around slightly.

For instance the search bar used to be on the left now it's centered.

I know I'll get used to it but it's kinda annoying.

!dev

While I'm not all too great with developing things, still learning actually, I am good at breaking things unintentionally.

For instance, I fucked the YouTube app up so badly, even a force stop isn't fixing it.
Gonna try rebooting, see if that helps.

- Implemented oauth1 - no body hashing
- URL contains credentials in plain text
- Used Azure API management feature as a proxy of the our API, however the documentation was on the our API, thus exposing the API URL with no management to developers.
- easy resource DDoSing because each trial user got a DB, the registration process did not have bot checks. You could literally freeze the db instance by spamming registration requests.

NullPointerException: Object reference not set to an instance of an object.....ummm what was null?

How much longer must we wait for a language that tells you the variable name that was null?

Guys has this happened with anyone ..my older aws ec2 instance just vanished from my console but I can still ssh into it, how do I manage it for security groups and other things..?

Everyone's going for the office Christmas party and I'm here stuck with a 3.8T backup and an instance provisioning... Why did I take this load today

I have a gitlab instance behind a reverse proxy at gitlab.mydoman.pizza (yeah my TLD is .pizza 😎🍕). I have a personal site hosted on GitHub pages. I have a CNAME record in GitHub repo pointing to mydomain.pizza. I have 4 A records on my domain registrar pointing to the GitHub pages server IP addresses. now both mydomain.pizza and myusername.github.io both go to my gitlab instance??¿¿ what the fuuuuuckkkkk?¿?¿

I've deployed an instance of OWASP Juice Shop on Heroku, if anyone wants to practice and/or learn pen testing or just web based vulnerabilities in general it's an amazing application to learn from and practice on.

Your progress is dependant on the cookie, so it won't affect one another.

owaspshop.herokuapp.com

It's free, so if you want to deploy your own instance you can.

L1 support requested to terminate an EC2 instance on which one of our apps seemed to be misbehaving. The node was terminated after few min.

L1 later realized that that instance didn't belong to that app, but instead it was one of the RabbitMQ nodes.

Then, after some panicking we remembered that HA was enabled, so nothing should've been lost.

Later, we realized that the recent RMQ upgrade necessitated a new cluster on which HA was NOT enabled!

took few days leave from my internship

as soon as I stepped in the train, i got a call from friend saying client's site is down

on checking, found that the aws instance crashed

couldn't even check the system with ssh
after detaching the volume and attaching it with another working instance we found that the system files and directories are missing

no backup was there

i wish i could give a cactus to amazon

Describe one instance when you thought, "Fuck this shit, I'm done with this client". Preferably when the client came up with stupid/impossible requirements

How to screw with other developers?

Expose postgres at Port 5435.

I spent 15 mins trying to figure out why my dev machine doesn't connect to the RDS instance.

import answer from "./knowledge.js"

const topic = 'Vue'
const rant = false
const allowDumbAnswers

const q = 'Why to use only a single Vue instance?'

allowDumbAnswers ? return : answer(q);

"When you set up the new app instance, can you set an easier password for our account? No special characters or numbers"

Sure. It's not like having a strong password prevented unauthorized access in the first place. BECAUSE YOU GAVE THE FUCKING LOGIN DETAILS TO AN UNAUTHORIZED 3rd PARTY! Which incidentally is why I now have to set up a new app instance...

Maintained a Jenkins instance once. Shut down a slave, and forgot to tell the master.
45gb of logs later...

I'm actually making a server side rendered application running on a serverless instance.

!dev

It's great that people finally start to boycott big tech social media, but I really don't want your brain deprived thought vomit on my mastodon feed.

Guess I'll look into hosting my own instance soonish

Suppose I make an app. Suppose it becomes popular worldwide. How can I protect its name, logo, etc worldwide? Is there some international registry or smth...? For instance is there any law restricting me from creating my own app, calling it Facebook, drawing a white lowercase F in blue rectangle as its logo and releasing it to the public?

JS' array function forEach. Why. Why does it exist? How is a function with a callback better than a freaking simple language feature like for of? If I recall correctly, forEach is older than for of, but people still use it nowadays, and too frequently...
Hate it, definitely.
Also, talking about enumeration in JS, Object's "static" method entries. I can't see how it can't be an instance method. Same for keys and values, but I usually don't care about them.

I've decided to switch my engine from OpenGL to Vulkan and my god damn brain hurts

Loader -> Instance -> Physical Devices -> Logical Device (Layers | Features | Extensions) | Queue Family (Count | Flags) -> Queues | Command Pools -> Command Buffers

Of course each queue family only supports some commands (graphics, compute, transfer, etc.) and everything is asynchronous so it needs explicit synchronization (both on the cpu and with gpu semaphores) too

A large pool of application instances' is writing logs to the same physical file. No way to distinguish which instance wrote which line.

Welcome to hell

We're being asked questions. We're replying that we cannot help unless logging is fixed. Noone's bothering to fix this mess and instead returns tickets with requests to investigate more.

F.U.N
/s

I did something potentially extremely stupid today

In 2020 when I was a teenager I suggested my uncle who ran a family business with my father to start a e commerce website. I did lot of stupid stuff doing this too. Planned to use AWS free tier to host the website and used Godaddy for domains IIRC. Setup godaddy email forwarding to his gmail account too IIRC

I registered a AWS account with my email(bad idea since my uncle's debit card was the payment method). I then setup a EC2 instance but instead of using the free instance I used some other instance because I didn't read what instance was free and setup his debit card as the payment method.

Setup woocommerce on it and pointed the domain to instance's static IP. We didn't do a lot of stuff on the website but next month on AWS we got a bill but it was a small amount. Uncle paid the bill and I terminated the EC2 instance IIRC. Next month there was a very small bill I don't remember what I did after it.

Today I remembered about it logged in to AWS and paid the bill. The problem is I used the default billing address which is in my uncle's name and the address of the family business. IIRC we didn't give them tax details of the business so we can't claim tax credit on it.

But still since there is a bill with the address of the business which Amazon probably reported to the government there could be tax discrepancies. Bill was due 4 years ago so maybe it will affect his 2020 returns which could be painful. The bill was also paid by me not from my Uncle's account so that might complicate things.

Thankfully the surprise AWS bill had basically zero affect on my relationship with my uncle.

How to stop DDOS attack on AWS instance t2.medium :/ my weekend is down XD

Spent the weekend geeking out getting my head around a proper Docker based environment for my development env at home and for the team... 90% done and I couldn't figure out why I couldn't start my Splunk instance up.... I'd set the default logging to Splunk.... Chicken & Egg probs!

But how awesome is docker with portainer and app templates eh?!

Guess who just spent the entire day before launch debugging why compose doesn't work on an ec2 instance where I DIDN"T INSTALL FUCKING DOCKER

I guess this is the key difference between me and seniors. Seniors know where to look where shit breaks because they have been breaking it for at least 5 years.

It would have to be variable names for classes. I mainly use C#, but I'm sure this applies to other languages. You need a name for the instance variables, the parameters for the constructor, and properties.

How the fuck can a virtualbox instance run slower on a brand new Mac Pro with four times the ram and cores than the old one that ran sweet?! What the actual fuck....

Trying to explain a game developer in a community, why its a bad idea to only make client side patches for equiptment to appear correctly..

me: because the server needs to be aware of the changes made to avoid faulty calculations, for instance if the client calculates a fatal but the server disagree..

dev: but it works...
me: yes, but not optimally.
dev: Working as intended (TM)
me: ... teh fuq?

not sure if he's a bad troll or wut..

Do you guys version pre-release projects (Beta, Alpha) as for instance “Beta 0.9”, or “Beta 1.9”? I’m asking because I don’t know which one seems more clear

Due to a service window, we were requested by customer to set up a separate instance of the same web application so they could keep working.

The separate instance was set up and all parties were informed.

Customer and project manager complain that people are still using the old instance, to which I replied I sent an email informing which instance should be used.

Their response: "You wrote to use the new instance, but you didn't write NOT to use the old one."

Deploying web apps is a bitch and a half. I need to learn how to dockerize my shit - spent all day trying to deploy a laravel app on a digital ocean instance and it didn’t even work. Wish my work ended after pushing to github.

Never update an item in an adapter by position, use the holder instance. #androidRant

Launch modes in Android?

Standard: It creates a new instance of an activity in the task from which it was started. Multiple instances of the activity can be created and multiple instances can be added to the same or different tasks.
Eg: Suppose there is an activity stack of A -> B -> C.
Now if we launch B again with the launch mode is “standard”, the new stack will be A -> B -> C -> B.
singleton: It is the same as the standard, except if there is a previous instance of the activity that exists in the top of the stack, then it will not create a new instance but rather send the intent to the existing instance of the activity.
Eg: Suppose there is an activity stack of A -> B.
Now if we launch C with the launch mode as “singleton”, the new stack will be A -> B -> C as usual.
Now if there is an activity stack of A -> B -> C.
If we launch C again with the launch mode as “singleton”, the new stack will still be A -> B -> C.
SingleTask: A new task will always be created and a new instance will be pushed to the task as the root one. So if the activity is already in the task, the intent will be redirected to onNewIntent() else a new instance will be created. At a time only one instance of activity will exist.
Eg: Suppose there is an activity stack of A -> B -> C -> D.
Now if we launch D with the launch mode as “single-task”, the new stack will be A -> B -> C -> D as usual.
Now if there is an activity stack of A -> B -> C -> D.
If we launch activity B again with the launch mode as “single-task”, the new activity stack will be A -> B. Activities C and D will be destroyed.
SingleInstance: Same as a single task but the system does not launch any activities in the same task as this activity. If new activities are launched, they are done so in a separate task.
Eg: Suppose there is an activity stack of A -> B -> C -> D. If we launch activity B again with the launch mode as “single instance”, the new activity stack will be:
Task1 — A -> B -> C
Task2 — D

Since I closed the registrations on my mastodon instance, I have found inner peace
But emptier wallet

Object Reference not set to an instance of an object...

It happened again:
Object reference not set to an instance of an object

In a call from customer support to SRE:
"...is it possible to reboot the whole server with the exception of an instance?"

can we agree that T is a dumb variable name?

I mean I totally know what it means in that instance, but why do people keep writing math stuff like they'd skribble it on paper?

The problem with moving Docker containers from your decked-out dev machine to a VM on AWS when your boss has told you to keep costs down:

1. Start Micro instance, 1++ gig memory
2. Get Out of Memory error from app after 30 minutes
3. Goto 1

After seeing how OS X and various Linux dists are handling virtual desktops Microsoft is leaving a lot to ask for in Windows 10. OS X's full screen your app into a new virtual desktop is pretty neat after you learn to swipe back and forth. And CentOS for instance allows you to create a virtual desktop and associate certain apps with different desktops. Windows however, does only allow you to create extra virtual desktops. But if you'd like to swipe between them you're out of luck, unless your computer has a touch screen. And if you think that clicking on an icon in the task bar would transfer you to your opened windows of said application you are wrong. It just launches another instance of the same application. Sigh...

Dahhhh. Pay for a damn hosted CI server please, like Circle or Travis, so I don't have to maintain this crappy Jenkins instance. More "plugin" updates by default than a crappy wordpress site.

Talking of which. Circle CI has come on leaps and bounds since I last looked at it. So much nicer than Travis. Think this is going to be my de-facto CI solution for open source stuff from now on.

"hey guys look at soeedtest beta!"

[looks at them with a smirk]

"Hey, you should try it!"

[Shows my custom speedtest instance]

Me: "I had this weeks before you guys caught with the flow"

yeah new speedtest is awesome but a custom speedtest is even more awesome

If only time was open-source, we could just create an Add method. What if we could reverse engineer, and re-implement time and the way we perceive it, through a programmable bio-interface? Imagine the ability to truly multitask, every thought is handled by a new instance of your brain, arguing and developing that thought just as it normally would. 🤔

Headache in instance initialisation Swift

I shall delay your PR with my giant egotistical scrotum by:

- Use less words for your function name

- Use this obscure pattern you have not learnt in your outdated compsci degree

- Each loop should get their own function

- Your function has too many parameters

- You must name every instance of magic numbers / strings

- Here, have another obscure test case to write

Is this okay, why or why not? (I see this used that's why I ask

public static Main instance = new Main();

Co-worker: My local Weblogic instance doesn't work when my IP changes :c
Me: Lemme help you with that.
Me: *tries bunch of stuff and nothing* Weird...
Me: *checks his hosts file, localhost is mapped to old IP* KILL YOURSELF OR I WILL.

Our system is supposed to go live today, and of course the customer waited till the last day to test it.. Guess which system is currently not working on the test instance because the test database is offline for a whole day due to migration

Is it a good idea to develop non game app in Unity? Asking because I got an idea for a app and I know Unity very well. Way better than Xamarin for instance.

Project Lead: The DevOps department just got a GitLab instance installed on our internal network. We're gradually going to move all our projects onto it and move away from BitBucket and Jenkins really soon.

Me: Awesome!

Project Lead: We're still using JIRA and Confluence for issue tracking and documentation though because the higher ups said so.

Me:

Go to hell elastic cloud!

While true:
I can’t resize my elasticsearch instance to get memory because it’s stuck….

It’s stuck because it doesn’t has enough memory to actually start …

Wtf!

object fucking reference fucking not set to an instance of a fucking object....WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Running NPM install on an average size project on a free tier Cloud9 instance.

Didn't go too well kept hitting memory limit which killed the NPM process.

Upgrade it is..

For a moment, I forgot how wasteful the government can be… our team is being forced to use VMs in the cloud which will cost somewhere around 3-5 hundo a month per instance

"Object reference not set to an instance of an object."
'Nuff Said.

Testing of an automation framework takes longer than doing the task manually for an instance.

Happy to have a new Server available!!! 16 GB RAM with a sum of 8 cores with up to 3,6 GHz and RAID 10 with 16 TB memory available. I will run a ton of VMs. One will contain an open stack instance which I am very happy to finally explore & work with!!!

I feel there aren't enough tutorials on "best practices" when it comes to combining server/client tooling in a monorepo.

Having done so this weekend, the tasks involved were:
* using graphql w/ express to serve requests and expose a "graphiql" ide instance
* differentiating build steps in prod vs. dev
* applying middleware in prod vs. dev
* working with a single heroku dyno

Still missing:
* hot reloading
* my general sense of direction

I was thinking about how youtube stands as the most used platform for videos, however the more creative/professional oriented platform Vimeo could still establish itself few years later. Same for Facebook and LinkedIn for instance.
So I was wondering how much new ideas could come out following the same reasoning. Any ideas?

I don't know if its Firefox the browser is TRASH or something else? Cause, every time I visit a website made by Google or Microsoft ( Linkedin for instance ), firefox becomes painfully slow and absolutely unusable. Every click takes few seconds to process and so on. but in Chrome, all ok! Why? -_-

Hey guys (and girls (and people who dont identify as either of them)),

As some people here might know I am currently in the planning phase of an open source alternative for Thingiverse. After gathering information on multiple platforms Ive heard people really wanting it to be decentralized (a bit like Mastodon).

I really like that idea and thus want to implement it, does any of you have experience or knowledge of decentralized systems programming? I have trouble getting information on how this works. If someone is willing to help me explain a few things like "How does one instance retrieve data from other instances? How does it know a new instance is running somewhere?"

So if anyone knows a great source for information or can and wants to help me via a chat session please respond below

Hey guys, I just discovered that an instance of internet explorer is actually set to open on startup on Windows.

Try going into your task manager and look for "explorer.exe".

If you want to kill it without finding it, you can also just use the BATCH command `kill /I explorer.exe`

Amazon S3 down: Cant pull any docker images >:/ ....but I wanted to update my GitLab instance. So good that I deleted the old container and image. FML

Can someone explain me if and when should I use get and set in C#? And what are the advantages compared to for instance "value = 1"?

I consider myself not all knowing, but even I understand that if there is a base-class, which requires its derived classes to implement a method to return, for instance, the EndOfLive date for the instance of that class and one chooses to implement that method to calculate and return a date, which isn’t always the right date, and then assume that who-ever calls that method magically knows that the result should be re-calculated and converted using an obscure, undocumented correction-method, located somewhere in a undisclosed utility, outside of that class which the person created not to long ago, that there is something structurally wrong with that implementation of said method and something structurally wrong with that person in general.

If a method should return X, then don’t return Y and expect that everybody magically knows that the result needs to be converted to create X. But, FFS, return X!

Every day I ask myself at least 5 (not too difficult) questions about programming (for instance "Can I compile Java in runtime?")
If I don't know them - I find their answer somewhere
It is like continuous integration, but with my knowledge - small portions of info are saved well in my brains))

So this is the most idiotic thing I have ever done!

Was resolving an issue in a module in our application on "Test" Instance, instead of uploading file to "Test" I was uploading to "Dev" and I was wondering for the last 2 hours why the hell changes are not working!!!

I need a break, Thank god its half day today... its a rest day now 🙈

After 1 year decided to install Nextcloud on my Digital Ocean droplet under a subdomain. I'm happy with the results, and now I'm moving my Google Drive data (including contacts) to my Nextcloud instance.

Wish there is a Google Docs equivalent for Nextcloud I could install!.

I'm studying the chance to offer cloud space to my family for free too.

Hmm... Geekiest non-dev thing I do regularly is watch Mark Rober, Smarter Every Day, and Colin Furze videos. They can definitely be entertaining, but I do love seeing what they work on/research.

Don't really have desire to, for instance, build something with Raspberry Pi. But that's just me. 🤷

C++: the Static Initialisation Order Fiasco. If you have two static instances in separate translation units, there is no way to guarantee their initialisation order, you're at the mercy of the compiler/linker. If one of the instance constructors depends on the other already being initialised, you have a 50% random chance of your program blowing up. The same ordering problem applies to global destruction at program termination time.

Vultr!

I first used them because digitalocean didn't have servers in a particular location and they turned out to be pretty good. Billed hourly and you can spin up an instance quickly and destroy it when you're done without signing up for a lifetime. Support is pretty good too.

There are just those days where nothing seems to work. I am now 8 hours on an issue that was estimated for 3 hours and new issues pop up every time where its not even my fault. In one instance, I get the correct value back, the next time with exactly the same parameters I get a COMPLETELY different Value back which keeps crashing my code. Who coded this thing that it is so inconsistent. Starts to get REALLY annoying. ._.

Android Architecture components

Spent 30 minutes debugging the new Room database only for I to figure out later was returning an instance of an entity yet was supposed to return a Dao

Hello I'm new here. I find it very usefull.
(Have to wait until by Live System instance is copied from staging) :-(

He said,
"With AWS, when trying to create a new instance

'Your quota allow for 0 more running instance (s). You requested at least 1'

with regard to the problem, I want to know a method to surely solve it."

I said,
"As far as I see it has reached the limit of the number of simultaneous execution instances, what kind of solution would you like to see?"

I am worried coz he has no reply.

What's your first instance of a infinite loop which ended badly?

Mine was a loop to calculate prime numbers.

My computer came to a halt within 5 seconds :S

Dear intellij,

Please create a pop up that checks if there is some other process running on port (8080). I have to spend one CMD instance worth of time just to kill that damn process.

I would have laughed at some other rant by saving this time. :(

Just had my first instance of a user solving a program giving them an error message by just not running the program.

That is all.

? ¿
How do you guys keep track of IT news... Not financial or companies related news, but new frameworks worth looking for, new updates on know languages/frameworks?

For instance for me to keep up with flutter or firebase I do by following both the github and YouTube channel. But I learned about flutter (early on) for instance, by a random lucky search...
Am I missing on something big? A blog, YouTube channel... Because if I am not missing on something like that I know what to do in the next hackton :P

Screamed Terraform is not a joke at coworker today.

Idiot corrupted the remote state while just trying to change the AMI of an EC2 instance for staging. I even said any amount of downtime is completely ok.

Just found a 'Maybe' class that wraps an instance for null-safety. With arbitrary behaviour.
Like a good ol' if was a scary thing

I'm currently using team viewer to access a computer of a colleague because only they have access to a vpn I need. So once I'm on the VPN I can then ssh into a ec2 instance. There are several ec2s I need to access but I've only been given direct access to one. Once inside that ec2 I can use it to ssh into the other ec2s....

Dawg..... why

Life isn't supposed to be this hard

I don't know how to begin.
But i really appreciate you and your efforts if you do the whole devops job through terminal.

I mean creating, upscaling, downscaling, configure, manage an instance just through terminal.

Big d*ck energy

When after 2 hours of debugging you realize that the reason only GET calls work to your local instance of API and POST calls don't is the fact you have VPN turned off. God damn those externally defined CQRS settings.

Calling a routine from an instance method (don't even ask, in ABAP, you can do that)

Apparently ex twitter employees have created an mastodon instance for themselfs and their family.

To find the process id of current shell instance use
$ ps -p $$