Woman couldn't reach the login page of her hosting account.

After 15 minutes of debugging she found out that her Internet wasn't turned on.

This shit is the fucking reason why I drink alcohol.

The time a client compared me to an abortion for charging him a £10 monthly hosting fee...

When someone, after explaining it for 10 FUCKING TIMES, still doesn't get that WE ARE NOT HOSTING HIS MOTHERFUCKING SERVER SO WE CAN'T FIX HIS FATHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING EMAIL ISSUES.

FUCKING HELL.

Literally translated from dutch but I think you'll get it:

(Debugging stuff with customer)
Me: alright so in what area are you now, our customer panel or your hosting control panel?
Client: Rotterdam, why?

._____________.

We are a hosting company.

That means that we host websites and servers.

Hat does NOT mean that we manage your FUCKING APPLICATIONS.

THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO'S GOING TO ASK ME APPLICATION RELATED QUESTIONS OR TRIES TO CONVINCE ME THAT IT REALLY IS A MOTHERFUCKING HOSTING ISSUE IS GOING TO GET A FUCKING FIST IN THEIR EYES.

FUCKING FUCKING FUCK.

So after many hours of trail and error I've managed to make a devRant client for ComputerCraft computers in Minecraft. :D

Thanks for hosting the server @ParkCity,

Also, I'll probably upload the source to GitHub some time soon.

Client: We're gonna be hosting our site on [Overly popular shit host] via a shared hosting account.

Me: Well the performance isn't going to be stellar with WordPress on there, but if that's what you want, sure. I'll enable all the cache rules possible and make sure PHP 7 is running it, but there won't be any further optimizations I can do to make it faster with such limited hosting access.

[Next day after launching the website...]

Client: The website is super slow. I thought you were going to optimize it?

Me: That is the loading time with the optimizations I said I can apply. That host isn't great for performance unfortunately.

Client: Well you're going to need to find us a reputable host as a replacement, set up the account and move the website there so we aren't waiting forever for a page to load.

Me (in a reply via email):

This is dedicated to all Webdevs, especially those WordPress fanboys.

I was reflecting on some things since I do more frequent freelance jobs at the time. And I have to admit: people are fucking crazy.

I had some serious talk with customers and some serious talk for people I work as subsidiary.

The average customer thinks a nice webpage costs I'm 9-50 bucks. They got some shitty Webhosting for 1-5$/month including domain and think they are set.

They have unclear visions about what they actually want, it all boils down to "I like the design". I made a page for someone who just posted images, no text nothing and I told him a trillion times NEEDS some text, even a fucking picture description would be sufficient, else he'll never score anything at google.

Ofc it got denied, now he's bitching how nobody finds the site when they google his name. The other thing is that Wordpress became the solution for everything.

I'm a fucking certified magento developer and I hate magento with a passion. Magento is an overabstracted clusterfuck and believe me, I did the certification I had to learn more than average about the core. But damn, don't slap woocommerce on everything.

Narrowninded fucktards, the cheap out of the box solution isn't always the best.

Don't cry if you got hacked because you were too dumb to upgrade your wordpress. Don't tell me to do some "enhancements" on a server you probably share with 100 other uses. I can't fix your Webserver with your shitty ftp account.

I also hate WordPress with a burning passion. Cum guzzling cavetroll it is. It has it usages, but don't rely on a core So small every kind of extra functionality has to somehow tinkered on it and then expect it to work flawlessly and for 10$ price.

Of course you can buy a theme that, if it would have been special made for you cost 800$ or more, but it wasn't. It just looks like it from the outside. If you want customization you are at the mercy of the option it provides. I can't even tell how many times i spent whole evenings explaining how their shiny template works. Just to do some crazy shit with JavaScript like rearranging domelements because it didn't work as expected.

I still stay to my word. Nothing great has been nor will be created with a Wordpress core. Don't tell me how some great stuff has been achieved. Or wait, please do so. But before you do think about if that wouldn't been faster, cheaper, more reliable , etc... if done with a framework like symphony or laravel... or even zend or cake.

And that brings me back to the point:
Is cheap and "out of the box" really what you need and desire? As customer and as developer?

Wierd Domains Game

Like: pornhub + StackOverflow
PornOverflow.Com

Add your entry in comment.

Winner will be get 1 domain + 1 year hosting

My client uses a very old hosting company that cannot even support php 5.2. We urge him to switch to IBM softlayer.

My Client: I am afraid that your hosting company(IBM) will close one day.

Me: ... What?

Waking up, feeling like I have a cold I sit down at my computer and see that my biggest client has asked for a minor change. I haven't had my coffee yet, but I can do what they're asking for in a minute. The site is *gone*. Just a permissions error. Have they been hacked?! Why hasn't the client called me?! The files are there and no changes have been made. It doesn't come up on any browser. 10 panicked minutes later I check it on my phone. It comes up. Wait a minute ... While editing /etc/hosts yesterday I'd accidentally uncommented a line for this site that I'd foolishly left in there. One character later my false alarm is solved. I'm getting my damned coffee now.

Clients can such cheapskates, client asks me for hosting options, I suggest Webfaction ($10/m), decent service, storage etc. Client goes and buys ($20/year) hosting, storage space 2GB. Client has 2.9GB worth of emails. Now am charging said client ($110) for migration.

Client/Friend : "Hey bro, can you make something like [a popular social website]?"

Me : "Sure man, but I do need some money to pay for the hosting and other stuff"

Client/Friend : "What's a hosting?"

...

So a hosting site popped saying here is some discount. I inspected element. Found the script and got an additional 70% off.

I finally did it. I finally got rid of that client in a positive, respectful manner.

So basically, my dad has a freelance colleague. For a side project that person asked me to make him a website. My dad mentioned to said person that my sister's boyfriend does web design (he's trained to use autocad for designing the structure of furniture, nothing fancy just straight lines and upside down doors that fail after a while..

So my brother in law charged the guy 400 money for the design. I charged the guy 200 for the programming because my dad forced me to drop down my price to fit the budget because business relationship and he obviously couldn't let my sister's boyfriend not make more money than he deserves.

In the end after waiting on the design for weeks (I literally saw him do it in photoshop all in 2 layers on his laptop in half an hour) I had to rush the project because the due date was coming up. I already had most of it done but I had to redo a good part of the front-end to fit the design structure. I also had to re-do the design in photoshop to get the images and colors I needed, then cut it up into html. So realistically, my sister's boyfriend barely did anything.

Now the deal was that I'd develop the website and perform any updates/upgrades to it. I'd also host it on my webserver for a monthly fee. My sister's boyfriend was to handle any and all content related support.

At first it was all good, I only ever spoke with the guy when he needed a feature added and he paid me well for it. Overall the hit I took in initial development was paying off. As time went by, my sister's boyfriend started ignoring the guy's calls and the guy started calling me instead.

Now, he had this deal with my brother in law where he could charge his time at 35 money an hour. That's about 4 times minimum wage for not doing much.
Then I started to basically take over all support, but I was only allowed to charge 30 an hour. Pretty reasonable still and I wasn't too busy so it was all good.

As time went by I ended up getting asked to do more and more minimal changes. At some point I had done so many minimal changes I had to charge the guy about 2 hours extra that month and he went completely mental saying I can't just work for hours without telling him beforehand. We decided I had to discuss a price before any change. I charged my time on the phone with him twice after that and both times he bitched about me being expensive and once he even said he wanted to leave.

Now comes the fun part. A week ago he had an issue that was 100% support related. He tried calling my sister's boyfriend but the guy obviously didn't pick up. He called my dad about it, and my dad ended up calling my my sister's boyfriend. Now this guy is so slimy, he purposely didn't hang up the phone knowing my dad would use his cell and assume the other party would hang up because calls cost money. The guy heard my dad call my sister's boyfriend and heard him pick up immediately. He went completely mental saying how he wants both of us to always reply and call him back immediately.

This guy was always my lowest priority. He didn't really make me money and his calls and requests were annoying and unnecessary. Add to that that I specifically didn't want to handle support and was forced into it anyway, while all 'design' things (up to figuring out where and how to display a visitor counter) absolutely had to go to my sister's boyfriend..
But regardless of that, I generally replied to his emails within 10-20 minutes and rarely more than 25 hours.

My dad agreed (for us) that we now both had to reply to him within 24 hours. I was now stuck checking my voicemail every couple hours because my sister's boyfriend sucks at life.

During his rant he threatened to leave me, again. That was the point where I said fuck it.

For the past week I've been ignoring his calls. When he emails me I don't take more than 5 minutes replying. This morning I found an e-mail with 4 requests;

He wanted me to make a content-related change;
He wanted me to give him access to the site's Google analytics;
He wanted me to add a feature and write a guide on how to use it;
And fucking finally, he wanted a 'token to transfer his website'.

I promptly emailed him back saying I added his email a week ago and that he'd gotten an email from Google about it then, that I'd changed the content he wanted me to, a price for the last dev task and a token for his domain name, adding that its valid for 35 days and that his new host can contact me to receive a backup file of his website.

Sadly, I do have this on 10-minute dev job to do, but then I'm invoicing him all jobs I haven't invoiced yet and he can find another host willing to deal with his insanity.

The best part is I lose a webhosting client but I'm sure he'll still ask my sister's bitched parasitic boyfriend whenever he needs a photo resized and he'll still pay him 35 money for 2 minutes of work.

Fuck customers.

Free (crowd funded?) Hosting for NGOs, individuals and projects that is promoting, building or distributing free software (FOSS/FLOSS)

Update on my rant from yesterday where I mailed my hosting admin that I got blocked.
I am not offended
Check out the whole conversation. Its by far the best converstation over mail.

Cloud Computing

Sent a corrupt .rar file to a client's nephew/cousin to upload on their server (he managed the hosting account) in a bid to buy myself some time to finish the project. It worked! I was given the login details to upload the work myself the next morning. They didn't understand Git.

Let me tell you a story:
One upon a time poor lil PonySlaystation received a call. It was a nice guy who cried about his WordPress website had been hacked. So the clusterfuck began...

He gave me the login credentials for the hosting back-end, DB, FTP and CMS.
A hacked WP site was not new for me. It was probably the 6th of maybe 10 I had to do with.
What I didn't expect was the hosting back-end.
Imagine yourself back in 1999 when you tried to learn PHP and MySQL and all was so interesting and cool and you had infinite possibilities! Now forget all these great feelings and just take that ancient technology to 2018 and apply it to a PAID FUCKING HOSTING PROVIDER!
HOLY FUCKING ASSRAPE!
Wanna know what PHP version?
5.3.11, released the day before gomorrah was wiped.
The passwords? Stored in fucking plaintext. Shown right next to the table name and DB user name in the back-end. Same with FTP users.
EXCUSE ME, WHAT THE FUCK?!

I have to call Elon Musk and order some Boring Company Flame Throwers to get rid of this.

Long story long, I set up a new WP, changed all passwords and told the nice guy to get a decent hoster.

I am now a Cloud Hosting (Windows and Linux) Reseller. I kinda feel like giving away some free accounts to the devRant community. But it can't give away too many accounts, so I probably won't because I don't want to exclude anybody. 😭

DigitalOcean have given me heaps of free credit for hosting open source projects / things related to open source projects over the years. They've also given free hosting to various charities I know. Seem like a bunch of genuinely good people.

just discovered this place.

good to know there's a place where I can rant about clients that blame me when they forget to pay their hosting bills or worse.

My web hosting company, DigitalOcean, sent me a sticker via mail out of the blue.

No explanation, no letter, just the sticker. I just found this to be super awesome.

I accidentally terminated both a client's website and my own in a single click

Good Windows reseller hosting plans are hard to find. These guys want to charge me $20 per year just for an extra 1gb of webspace.

Get fucked.

Does anyone know a free hosting that support .net core web api without credit card? It’s just for a school project. IBM Bluemix only supports normal web app and azure needs credit card

Fucking fuck you STRATO. This cancer of a german hosting provider just should be shutdown for crimes against reason. Our website got infected by some shit (I'd like to not state why, there is only so much pressure my main arterie can handle) and now we are supposed to remove that file. Well they blocked all incoming and outgoing traffic to the server so we cannot connect via sftp, the only choice you got with STRATO. And they wont restore network access for the server unless we remove the file. No logical loop to see here citizen, please move on.

Just got my website hosting and domain bought ☺️ will upload tomorrow!

On a side note, slow cookers are the bomb. Made some excellent beef just now.

What can I say :))

fucking hostgator!

go suck a cock you developers!

everything from their payment system to their support is crap.

a few days ago, i purchased a website from hostgator, with a year of hosting during black friday weekend. i had obtained a black friday coupon code that entitled me to roughly $160 off its usual price. that said, i filled out the registration form and clicked the 'checkout' button.

right after i clicked it, i saw i forgot to put in the coupon code, and pressed the back button on my browser. then i put in the code and proceeded with checkout.

guess what?

those MOTHERFUCKING GREEDY ASS BITCHES charged me TWICE, one with the coupon and one without.

i contacted customer support and told them what happened after waiting about double the time i was supposed to be connected to support.

of course, they asked for my fucking "security" pin over the customer support live chat (totally not ironic).

they sent a confirmation email, and cancelled the payment without the coupon.

then ONE FUCKING DAY LATER, I tried to connect to my website.

MY SITE WAS FUCKING SUSPENDED.

die in a hole.

i contacted customer support once more, and after explaining the story, I had to wait four to eight hours.

i'll see how it turns out tomorrow.

die in a hole hostgator🖕

I hate 1&1. Shit hosting, shit service, shit everything.

Has anyone ever donated a website and its maintenance/hosting to a charity?
There's a pet rescue/homing RSPCA centre near me and their website is terrible. I keep thinking about doing this for them.
Thoughts?

Customer:
Our site is hacked, and that is because the FTP port is open to the world!

Me: Well, it is a shared hosting platform, it has to be. You should instead update your 7 year old joomla! site.

Fuck I hate it so much talking to any of the hosting support chats, seriously questioned if it's some brainless bot talking, after I literally just answered his question (and ~3 times before that) and he asks it again

So my client wants to stick with their current hosting provider (Bell) because the company is "big" and "won't go anywhere anytime soon." I just said, well okay it can't be that bad. Bell charges about 10x more and gives you about 10x less compared to other options, but it's not my money so whatever. Well, Bell has the absolute worst customer service. They have an online support form where I can type in my questions and they will call me within a day to help me. They called me during work hours and I missed the call, so they sent me an email to let me know I missed the call and gave me a number to call. I called and I might as well have called my dog because the support didn't even know what a .htaccess file is. I emailed them back and asked if they could forward my email to someone in the hosting department that could help (because the phone support I got was shit). I got a reply saying they "can't"... yup, they used the word "can't", they can't forward the email and that I would have to call. Is everyone at Bell a fucking dick chugging brainless pile of moldy-ass shit biscuits!? YOU CAN"T SEND AN EMAIL? Turns out they do have a dedicated hosting support email, let's hope the email I send ends up in front of someone at Bell who at least has a slight clue how to use a keyboard.

Too many "web savvy" clients these days. 9 times out of 10 they get hosting accounts which i have to reconfigure. My quote was for coding not sys admin. Do me a favour and dont do me any favours.

So my host of choice decided to migrate an old site to a new set of IPs without warning yesterday, down side to a VPS I guess.

Now this wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t on a dedicated IP you wankers.

DNS won’t resolve to new location yet and Virtual hosts contained the old IPs and for some fuck of a reason the httpd file is auto generated 😡so updating it will be lost on reboot.

Like What the flying fuck you imbeciles, this site has been up and running for 5+ years on this IP.
I barely do any maintenance for t as it’s just an old horse sitting on the web but fuck you don’t need to fuck with it or atleast give some fucking warning before you go drop it offline 😡

Client: there is not Internet connection at our office, it is because we have not paid your service bill?

me: sir, we are a hosting company, please contact to you ISP

Why do people overlook hosting? They have an awesome website built but then go for the crappiest web hosting!

Gotta crank put a website for our new store in 2 days, with a webstore and figure out how to get pokemon into the actual shop. And the hosting gives me 50MB. Yes. In 2016.

Never do business with your friends. It's a pain in the ass.

I bought hosting and domain last year, I uploaded my site and left it for months. Last month I logged onto my webhost's user panel and the "login to cpanel" option of my hosting directed me to someone else's premium hosting, I realised it late and I had already deleted whole of the WP site as I presumed it was mine. I left the database intact, reached out to the domain owner getting the info via whois, surprisingly he is was all fine losing his merchant navy academy website.

However, I WAS NOT FINE because I am not fucking expecting my webhost to give someone access to my hosting, just like I got access to his.

Been two weeks and they are unable to fix it and I am pissed off. I had no urgent need but I WANT ACCESS WHEN I WANT.

They are not as big as GoDaddy but they are a reputed hosting provider in my country with nice and fancy WP domain etc management portal and everything. I never expected this from then. How the fuck would they let this happen.

Does anyone know a provider for webhosting with this needs?

- decently priced (~4€/month)
- domain included
- email stuff included
- no analytics/cookie stuff from the provider (that's the point of change)
- easy sftp access
- ssl included

Calling a client's hosting provider to switch on a feature because shell is jailed.

Can someone explain the pricing for DO, AWS, or any other cheap hosting? DO $15 bucks for 1 database or multiple database in one server? AWS S3 or E2? Or should I stick with Heroku $7 (Web App server) and $9 for Postgres database?

Every dammed webmail client looks like 2005. Currently I use roundcube but it looks also very old.
Someone can prefer a good webmail client for self hosting?

fucking hosting company...

Just got a ticket back explaining that "the settings you want to make to your mysql database aren't possible with our hosting products". While they state in their FAQ that there are no restrictions applied. (We are talking about to possibility of using JOIN here!)

Ducking fuck.

Me when I finally get my client to move away from shared hosting to a vds and being able to use git on the server.

- Clear 15 subjects in college
- Master public speaking
- Start 4 companies ( web development, web design, web hacking & web hosting)
- Become a ++ member
- Master programming in Go, Python & JS
- Living a boss-free life
- Find a life partner

So my goverment is hosting a competition to secure govt systems from malwares like wannacry etc

solution I submitted: Remove windows and install linux. 😂😂😂😂😂

Hosting a PHP/MySQL application for a really wealthy NGO that must have paid thousands of dollars for the app, and everything works fine but no sanitised inputs and direct SQL statement execution. Just waiting for little Bobby Tables so I can charge them a fortune for recovery 😊

Back in college I studied web development.
Google came to campus and hosted and event. So a fellow classmate asked me: what's this event about?
Replied: it's Google hosting an event talking about HTML5, we should definitely go & attend.
She stops for a second and replies back: umm why exactly?
- Because we're web development branch and this is related...?

I am searching for hosting companies that is located in obscure and/or remote/unknown places. Do some of you know one or two?

I provide hosting for my clients. About 3 months ago I discovered that the hosting company that I'd been using had been swallowed up by EIG, which explained why the tech support had gone downhill.

So, I jumped to another hosting company. Same shit different company!

Apparently the fact that my browsers sit at "connecting" for up to 30 seconds, and I get a "could not connect to" message half the time while I'm trying to fucking work on a deadline is the fault of some plug-in in a WordPress installation!

Oh yeah? Why then does this shit happen when I'm working on a pure html/css site?
Why then did it start happening after they "updated" my shared server?!

Oh, but the bastards suggest that I buy Cloudflare or pay for more space!

You fuckers made my work take 3 times as long, and you made an important migration fail!

Network places make mistakes. We all do. That's cool. Fucking own up to it, talk to me like a techie, and DON'T TRY TO BLAME IT ON ME OR MY TOOLS!

Fuck you! I think I'm gonna give Google Cloud a try, and do this shit myself!

Thought to start a programming blog.
Registered domain and hosting.
Created some posts.
Didn't get new idea/content to post.
Disconnected domain from hosting out of shame.

Do you know whats worse than someone reach you for an idea " Lets create X existing app, but..." ?
Its "Lets clone that app, we will sell the service cheaper than the cloned app, you do all the job, se urity, hosting, administrating, and we will split the revenue 50/50."
Just happened.

What’s your thoughts about hosting a web app on heroku? Just for small business app

Question again about hosting web apps, has anyone using the paid bills for heroku? Since they gave 1000 hours uptime for their free version, is it possible to still use it for a web apps? And mix the bills for another web apps? Or is it better to host under vps?

When management can not comprehend that hosting is separate from the domain.

Right let's get this straight once and for all. Being able to one click install WordPress on your shared hosting account doesn't make you a web developer or ann am expert so please remove this from your social bios on Twitter etc.

I'm in deep shit, barely managing myself,
> Fuck Domain resellers who don't know their job (that's not you Jase)
> Fuck GoDaddy
> Fuck cPanel
> Fuck WordPress

That concludes, a friend called in a favor to host a WordPress blog with our hosting and domain from re-seller

and fuck that re-seller with cactus in the ass, for being a hack and saying it is not possible to transfer the domain to my hosting account.

I bought my first VPS today. After years of hosting my email, websites, databases and backups services on my own physical servers both home and in real serverrooms.

Strange feeling, but it feels like something heavy was lifted from myself, I do not need to buy hardware if something fails.

Why do _devs_ still use shared hosting (and then bitch about it)?

"This thing won't let me use external SMTP" - "I can't use more than 2 domains for my site" - "I can't change X in PHP config" ...

You're a dev, VPS prices are pretty much on the same level as shared hosting, and setting those things up isn't exactly rocket science either.

Opinion? What hosters do you use?

Today my fellow @EaZyCode found out a local Hosting Provider has a massive security breach.

He wrote an Plugin for Minecraft with an own file explorer and the ability to execute runtime commands over it.

We discovered that this specific hosting provider stores the ftp passwords one level above the FTP-Root. In FUCKING PLAIN TEXT! AND THE MYSQL PASSWORD TOO! And even more shit is stored there ready to be viewed by intelligent people...

It's one of the fucking biggest Hosting provider Germanys!

But, because EaZyCode has such a great mind and always find such bugs, I give him the title "Providers Endboss" today, he has earned it.

Loving you ❤️

Edit: we used SendMail with runtime commands and sended too many empty Spammails (regret noting)

Plesk is getting better!

So, this is my co-workers hosting websites: They login as root, chmod -R 777 the entire fucking public_html, disable SELinux, use unsecured FTP, and then they are surprised all sites on that server are infected with some sort of crazy virus

Client gives me long talk about how important their website is to them. Repeatedly have to reassure them I know what I am doing. Still badger me about being super secure. Their password is the same as their username for their website hosting.

My hosting support are derping again!!!
>_____<

I prompted / bumped them on an open issue.

My rant of the day is not being able to use the latest version of PHP with the latest features because my host only provides 5.6!

Translating content. Painfully slow and manual but something I have to do. I am almost live.

🇲🇽🌯

Build a global, fast maps/tile hosting "platform".

Already working on this like mad and with a little bit of luck, I'll have a first version ready within a week.

Also learning Rust, becoming even better at/with Linux....

How many here know surge.sh? it seems each time I mention it somewhere, nobody knows it, checks it out and thanks me. It basically allows you to host a static webpage on their servers - for free and with custom domain if you wish. They are also the creators of Cordova/Phonegap.

"No i mean the bot goes offline like whatever is hosting it goes offline and then the bot literally doesnt respond to commands"

- One guy trying to prove how "unreliable" a bot is.
Kill me.

Today I wanted to activate the gzip compression on the site of a customer before delivery.

Unfortunately the hosting service (the most popular in France) did not activate this module on its servers. Why in 2016, this module is not enabled by default !

Apparently my ISP does hosting.. and puts in their higher tier hosting package.. MySQL 5. And they actually market this. Version 5.0 got released in 2005 and after 2015, we're at version 8.

Anyone seen the machete? I've got some heads to take.

BRUV,
WTF,
SO I JUST FOUND OUT THIS:
Hostinger changed its mailservers from mx1.hostinger.com, to IMAP.hostinger.com and SMTP.HOSTINGER.COM

This means that all of the emails that I sent out for the last 2 weeks on my phone(the only place where I send out emails) has been going to fadoodle knows where?

Now that I changed on my phone the incoming and sending servers and I send out a email it appears as spam, but It dosent do that when I send it out of the web platform.

So like bruv, more digging to do...

HOSTINGER U BICH ASS FUCKING CUNTS, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY EMAILS I NEEDED TO FORWARD BCZ OF THIS???😂

And I though people were Beeing rude or something

What is the best hosting provider that is most likely to survive ww3?

When hostinger file manager decides it doesn't like you anymore:)))

!rant

Woot, that moment your free hosting company sends ya some swag. Netlify, stay awesome.

... Hey there Heroku, how you doin'?

Me: Runs Dedicated Server from home, cheap easier to admin and easy to keep up with upgrades and hardware for my needs.

UKWeather: HA ya I given you 3 good years of OK weather so now you have some super hot weather as I know your brits have no AC haha.

Me: Well darn (alt F4, shutdown - reason: Two Hot )

Time to drill holes move cables and relocate the server to a more cooler place in the home :P

-" hey Linux, webdeveloper from ****** is on the phone and he is having some trouble"
; "aight send him over"

;" Linux speaking"
+" Hi its ***** from *****, my site wont work"

I ask him about more details and the the name of the sites, I quickly realize something...

;" Uhm, it seems like that you have not uploaded any files yes?
+" no I have not, I just wanted to test if the site on your hosting that I just bought Works as I was promised by the salesman"

;" FML"

Boss: we should cut costs
Me: I could move us to a cloud provider and we would pay about a quarter of our current costs and because we could scale keep our current capacity intact.
Boss: eh, that's too risky
Me: *watches us spend $10k+/mo in unused hardware* - okay.

Me: "can you please send my credentials for the database?"

Hosting provider: "Yea sure... We will set it up on our servers in no time"

*5 mins later: provider sends mail to me*

Me: *looks at mail*

Also me: *NOTHING TO DO HERE*

Congrats to jweiland.net for not being able to support their customers.

Tijuana Flats needs to upgrade their hosting and optimize their site. Took like 15 minutes to order tacos today.

Fucking bullshit I tell you. What is this world coming to?

Hey, looks like some employee of this hosting company failed to 750 his home directory and 640 the files...
I was SSHing around on our hosting account when I slipped into his home direcory where at least two(!) SSH public keys of his admin account for the server were readable!

Being an honest guy, I had to call them...
It's fixed now.

Does anyone else hate calling support for hosting companies and such? I use it as a last resort because I hate talking on the phone 😬

misshosting is the most incompetent hosting company I have ever dealt with

To the freelancers.

Do you offer web-hosting? What are your experiences? Where do you rent servers? What do you charge?

Thanks in advance

File hosting like GitHub?

Basically.. I want to let my Patreons download major updates to my game before I upload them to Github. Now, I will get a GitHub Developer upgrade once I get $7+ per month from Patreon, and host the updates on a private repository for a few days before uploading it to my main dev repository, but I something until then. Some place I can host the loose files, or a .zip at a static link for free. (that can only be accessed by that link) ^~^

How many of you host your own websites?

What are the pros and cons?

Super duper Marketing guy gets hired to boosts Eshop sales. Sends a huge wall of text about moving the site to the X VPS hosting plan, put SSL to the site etc..
Me: We are already on that hosting plan. We have SSL and everything else you mention. Are you sure you checked the right Eshop before you made that Grand Plan of boosting sales? 🤣🤣🤣

Hostinger
Hostgator

DigitalOcean for VPS ?

Something else ?

Please do suggest a host for shared hosting.
Moving from GoDaddy 🤦😅.

I know, shouldn't have tried in the first place.

PHP...
When I first learned to code - like everyone - I felt the need to try as many programming languages as possible. After the comforting syntax of myClass.MyProperty/myClass.MyFunction()/C#, the $ symbols everywhere made me want to vomit...
Fast forward 2 years later. I learned a bit and wanted to make a website backend. Checked my hosting - which was purely a frontend thing at the time - free PHP hosting or £15/month for ASP .NET hosting...
I begrudingly wrote my first .php file, hating my life.
But by the end of that night my relationship with PHP was already cemented.
And that's why I like PHP.

Beware: Here lies a cautionary tale about shared hosting, backups, and -goes without saying- WordPress.

1. Got a call from a client saying their site presented an issue with a third-party add-on. The vendor asked us to grant him access to our staging copy.

2. Their staging copy, apparently, never got duplicated correctly because, for security reasons, their in-house dev changed the name of the wp-content folder. That broke their staging algo. So no staging site.

3. In order to recreate the staging site, we had to reset everything back to WP defaults. Including, for some reason, absolute paths inside the database. A huge fucking database. Because WordPress.

4. Made the changes directly in a downloaded sql file. Shared hosting, obviously, had an upload limit smaller to the actual database.

5. Spent half an hour trying to upload table by table to no avail.

6. In-house uploads a new, fixed database with the help of the shared hosting provider.

7. Database has the wrong path. Again.

8. In-house performs massive Find and Replace through phpMyAdmin on the production server.

9. Obviously, MySQL crashes instantly and the site gets blocked for over 3 hours for exceeding shared hosting limits.

10. Hosting provider refuses to accept this was caused by such a stupid act and says site needs to be checked because queries are too slow.

11. We are gouging our eyeballs as we see an in-house vs. hosting fight unfold. So we decide to watch a whole Netflix documentary in between.

12. Finally, the hosting folds and enables access to the site, which is obvi not working because, you know, wrong paths.

13. Documentary finishes. We log in again, click restore from backup. Go to bed. Client phones to bless us. Client’s in-house dev probably looking for a cardboard box to pack his stuff first thing in the morning. \_(ツ)_/¯

When you get to talk to anyone at Amazon hoping they bring up free AWS credits

They want to host and test our work. All they're hosting tonight is 500s.

In 2017 I learned a lot of new things and I’m very happy with the progress I’ve made. I think 2018 will be even better! I’m busy developing my own hosting platform and it’s been an hell of a ride. Hopefully I can get it in beta in the first months of 2018. Wishing you all the best for 2018!

Why does downloadmoreram.com even exist, who's paying all the hosting charges. Why would you want to host a site that continously keeps generating complaints from their more gullible visitors.

It's all fun and frolic for peeps like us, but for the other peeps, I just don't get it!

Not exactly a data loss, but on server hosting almost all of clients' websites.

$ crontab -e

Except finger slipped and it became -r. *facepalm*

Cheapskate's website deployment stack for new projects:

namecheap ($10 domain) + heroku (free hosting) + mailgun (free email) + Cloudflare (free SSL) = $10/year

Having to pay a "Setup fee" for your hosting that you have had for the last 3 years ... what do they need to setup 🙄

!rant
How to self host a website?
Seriously, through many guides out there, I was never been able to see my site (hosted on a raspberrypi with nginx) outside the local network. I always tried to link my router to no-ip without success outside my localhost, the port 80 is already open for the raspberrypi. I live in Italy, can it be that the local ISPs obstacle the creation of such homemade website hosts?

There is nothing quite so arousing, than getting your own VPS and hosting your applications*

*Not including boobs.

There is this docker guy in our enterprise.
Always, he is told there is a challenge in software operations, he brings up the solution "move it into a docker container and the challenge won‘t be a challenge anymore".

........

Don‘t get me wrong.

I love to use docker as a technology to host my apps.
But for me it is not the golden hammer technology which cures all dread diseases on this planet.

Sometimes it is just overhead for the solution of small challenges.

My first dev job was making and maintaining a shop on a Windows XP and xampp. We tried it like a week and i secretly changed everything to go to 000webhost. It was great there and no one had problems with the website. So... Hope the next guy after me thinks of a smartar way because they didn't want to give money for hosting....

Just earlier today I was looking at the hosting packages for a local hosting provider in my country (who shall remain unnamed as I want to work there and criticizing them might not be a very good idea right now) and they start at €250/month apparently. I thought - that's fucking ridiculous!

Like for real, I could literally buy a server for.. I dunno, €600 from the likes of bargainhardware.co.uk with some pretty darn good specs, put it in my home, get a business contract with my ISP for say around €100/month (and use it for my own purposes as well instead of my consumer contract, win-win!), and the server would pay for itself in no more than half a year, probably even less! And you're even getting the actual hardware with it!! And that is for the price of that hosting provider's starting option!!!

Now I know what you're thinking, sure there's more to servers than just the server itself, like redundant power, generators, SLA, multiple routers and switches, and all sorts of failover measures. And you are absolutely right. But does that really justify a rental cost of a server of €250/month?

Not only that, even their shared hosting.. shared hosting, the dreaded, shitty shared hosting! solution is starting at around €10/month. I'm paying about €5/month for 3 light-duty servers and a domain for Christ's sake!

So.. is this hosting provider just expensive as fuck or is this really the industry standard, particularly for the dedicated hosting part? And maybe that's why some services like.. say devRant which apparently gets around €600/month from 299 supporters at the time of writing, yet still has @dfox and @trogus pay from their own wallets for it (if at all possible, please let me know if that's still the case).. I wonder if those costs are all really justifiable?

It just strikes me as odd.. you can get *a lot* of server for a couple hundred bucks if you do it well.. no?

Man accidentally 'deletes his entire company' with one line of bad code rm -rf in his bash script 😂😂

Well I probably should have been more prepared for this, but i was able to backup, upload and transfer my websites from my own server to my backup host provider while my ISP has been down for the past couple hours. Fun stuff.

what hosting provider do you guys use? I don't host any of my projects online yet and I wanna get started. I mainly wanna use it for PHP / Symfony stuff, nothing that uses humongous amounts of resources.

when you try to stop tracking changes to files you added on git but instead of running the remove from cache command you run the remove from server also command. and it deletes all the cpanel config files and ruins the hosting account.

Anybody else want to DDoS whole Russia and China Hosting Companys for there god damn dead Servers?

Always get a lot of spoofing and ssh login try's from there.

fail2ban FTW!

Customers... haaaaaaaaa.
Installed email 1year ago.
Customers today: "hey nothing work today"
Not payed the hosting.
Fuck.

Just curious.

1. How you hosting at deep web?
2. Can your websites become listed in deep web? Why?

I just curious

HELP ME OUT BRUTHA AND SISTUR..

I've finally finished my website - now's the time to do the tedious thing and get a decent hosting for as little money as possible.

Does anyone know a hosting that has:
- High privacy ethics (not that I'm gonna store porn there, just my screenshots posted via ShareX)
- VPS-based hosting I can put a nice Linux on.
- Unlimited or 'really high' bandwidth.
- Located in Europe (UK included lol).

I would be most thankful :P

Now this is fucking ridiculous... Our website is being constantly limited though we've never reached even 80% of the available CPU resource.

The hosting said that we had the CPU fault (that fucking cyanide spike on the graph that triggers the limit once) because of huge load on the server. The FUCKING SERVER... Not our virtual environment. And once more because of the RESOURCE MONITORING service caused a server restart. For fucks sake, really???

And apparently it's perfectly normal that all users even ones that run in low resources are being limited to a level that a request takes 30 seconds to complete instead of frickin' 1...

The best they could offer is to move us to a new server, which will arrive in two weeks, if the problem persist. IT'S PERSISTING FOR FUCKING MONTHS YOU MORON. I wonder how much time would have been taken you to realise the server shutdown this week if I hadn't phoned you in 5 minutes. FUCK!

Every shared hosting is that garbage or am I just the choosed one?

Yesterday I attended a 'convention' with different speakers (Design, IoT, Houdini CSS, Typography, JavaScript, Ashkell, etc.). I recovered these stickers 😂

#DevJokes

For almost a year now, I had a domain and web hosting. I've yet to do anything interesting with it, I planned to create a website but so far, nothing... I fail :(

"This MONDAY, you can have a day to yourself." (as the university is hosting something all day long)

> Finally can start this. Yayy!
(THE Gang of Four)

so…

let's make a translation website game thing

ooh! web hosting! check black friday deal!
buys website + hosting
~$100

oooh, let's check out google's translation api

>0.00001$ wtf no i aint paying that shitz or i wouldnt been a h4x3r

how can i work around this?
i know! ill make an iframe and input text as if i were a user

firefox: fuq u bish google isnt allowing framing for its translations

well gonna find another work around tommorow

maybe share the link too :)

Guys, I need a proper, fairly cheap and with high transfer website hosting ASAP. Any recommendations?

Just logged into clients hosting account with host gator. I'm greeted with masses of adverts and up sells.

Few mins later I login to clients go daddy account. Yet more adverts and overly invasive up sells.

I hate bulk cheap hosts like this :/

Cannot wait to logout.

😡 When one of your hosting companies (inmotionhosting.com) decides to send you a we're going to freeze your service in 48 hours if you don't remove your site backups...

On a Friday...

The backups were made by their own support staff...

Time to move all properties to AWS! 👍

!rant

Guys,

I'm looking for a (second) VPS provider and stumbled upon one called SSDNodes. They have a 8GB RAM offer for $120/yr. Which sounds far better than the popular choices like DigitalOcean, Vultr, etc.

But the only reviews I can find about them are from their blog or some unknown websites.

Has anyone used them or heard about them? Also, any alternative suggestions? I'm going to be using it for Docker powered personal web projects. Not expecting a lot of users.

I need some help from you guys. I'm in search of a cheap, little webhoster for classic and (hopefully) node projects. Is there something viable out there, I missed on my research?

When hosting company changes mysql host name from localhost to mysql. And you spend hour to see why your app does not connect to db because you don't wanna call support. &#-+_$&#&

000WEBHOST IS SO MUCH SHIT IN ONE PLACE

Nothing on their website is working, every time internal errors and default loading times at up to 1.2 sec

SHITTY HOST!

I get a free year of web hosting from this web developer course I'm taking on Udemy, so I started setting that up and bought my own domain name from GoDaddy with a promo code. But before I can transfer that domain name to the site I'll be using for hosting I have to wait 2 months.

Is anyone here familiar with hosting maps through vector tiles and displaying them on webpages?

I'm fucking stuck on this and the forums aren't really replying/answering anything.

Any tips/help would be appreciated!

A company I work with are reluctant to change their hosting provider until the end of their hosting term. (Which may be a perfect reason as it's paid for)

The website goes down everyday!!!! Not to forget it's a popular magazine website!

Here are the new relic emails at 1 minute intervals:
- HTTP 500 Response Code
- HTTP 508 Response Code
- NetworkError: Read timed out
- Connect to domain:80 failed: connection timed out

I'm hosting dancers for BluesShout! a dance festival in Chicago. Three of the people I'm hosting are developers (two girls, one guy). There are a lot of engineering types that dance. If you haven't done any social dancing, you should really give it a shot. Find a Lindy/Swing, Blues or Contra group and take a class. You might love it. 💃💜

Netcup. Great hosting, the machines are usually fast set up and cheap. The boss writes in the forum to help the customers.

!rant
Where do y'all host your servers at?
I'm currently renting at Contabo.com (4 Cores, 12GB RAM, 300GB SSD, 100/100 unlimited for 9 bucks a month) but I'm interested in other options as well ^.^

Hosting Rails is such a pain in the butt.

Heroku, too expensive
DigitalOcean, hard to maintain unless using Hatchbox (Hatchbox, too expensive)
Shared cPanel hosting, too limited, too slow...

I'm setting my own server home from scratch just so I can master fucking Rails deployment.

Has anyone had any experience in using Microsoft Azure for website hosting infrastructure? Would you recommend it?

I'm working on a project with ~1TB of data. Are there any good options for hosting that won't break the bank and aren't localhost? 😅

What do people here use for blogging and hosting? Everything I can find from searching suggests self-hosted Wordpress, but I am cautious because of its reputation in the dev world and since all the guides I have found so far are directed at non-coders. Thanks in advance for any opinions 😊

So, a few days ago I went on an interview for a position as a web developer, and during the interview they tell me they are thinking about getting into hosting, and that if they decide to do so I would be the one responsible for managing all of it.

I have no idea how to set up web servers, let alone make sure they can handle heavy loads and so on, so I'd be taking on a huge responsibility and workload, along with the task of making websites.

The company consists of 5 designers, and at the moment, no developers, and they have about 30-40 customers, all with sites that would need to be moved to the new hosting platform.

My question to you all is this:

How much does quality hosting equipment cost, and is it really worth it for such a small company to get into hosting, or should they rather look to make a deal with an existing host for some kind of monthly kickback/rebate?

I'm thinking they should find an existing host and enter some kind of partnership, as that would be easier and safer than doing all the hosting inhouse.

What do you guys and girls think?

I updated my hosting packages, purchasing a new VPS. Half way through my download of all the hosted sites, I wondered why it had stopped. Yeaaaaah... I'd updated the DNS to point to the new server mid transaction. Hodor.

Gitlab or Bitbucket for solo private projects?

Whether it's a good idea to host my very primitive web-app on Heroku or setting up my own VPS on DigitalOcean etc.?

Heroku will save me some time, but I'm not sure about the scalability and cost.
VPS approach means I'll have to take care of all the DevOps myself, even though I know a bit Linux to kick things off, this is still quite daunting to me.

Any suggestions? Insights? Rants?

Magento, it's in the same category for me as drupal, joomla, WordPress,... Bloated, slow, general pain to work with... No learning sources, cap of a 'documentation'...

I just want some hosted VCS. I don't want to run this myself. I am a developer. Not an ops guy.

I swear to fucking god if one of my colleagues is going to yell "hosting" again at me (note they do it in a higher pitch than their normal voice)

I'm going to break something..

Oh yuss, exactly enough spare change to pay the hosting costs this month. Close one.

Hosting single page website on Dropbox public folder FTW.

I finally got a domain and I can separate away from GitHubs hosting and I can put up my badly made web page there. Yey I guess

Love it when I try to find a free Web hosting to do a little testing online... But All of them have a broken PhpMyAdmin panel. >.<

I know I'm going to get the blame 🙄...

They transferred a domain didn't tell me they were doing it then now they are with 123reg ... shit web hosting

On top of that the dns wasn't transferred over so currently the old site is dead 🙄

My dumbfuck hosting fucked up the mysqlnd installation and it is missing the pdo api extension. All my queries are returning strings for every field. It's easter so no support available. I've planned to deploy the new site in this weekend. Now i have to manually typecast after every query because i've used === everywhere. This will be a long day...

Client: I've this issue.......
Me: Clear browser cache.
Client: I've that issue.....
Me: Clear browser cache.

____________

Client: My site says "Your hosting account is suspended". I cleared browser cache. Nothing works.
Me: clear YOUR brain cache

I am currently playing around with hosting an API on Heruko but I also hear a lot of buzz around serverless APIs...
What do you guys recommend? Or do you recommend another host for playing around and maybe getting more serious in the future?

After writing my first php script that displayed a random forum signature image. Took me far too long but the end result was worth it.

Felt proud after my first mini refractor that automatically picked up images from a folder on my geocities web hosting lol.

Cannot tell you how much win I felt at the time :)

Looking for hosting Don’t really know who I should go through? I have used host gator and go daddy in the past and would like to try out some new hosting. What would you guy recommend? And why? Budget for the month would be around 15 usd for hosting max. I would like to host my portfolio and as many domains as possible on the hosting. Please help

Not exactly programming related, more game hosting wise.

I was playing with my friend on his Battlefield 4 server when someone casually states "Great job would come back Mr. Server".

What cheap/good quality node.js hosting provider for nodejs/react/mongodb app do you suggest? (including sale, black friday etc.)

Google web hosting vs AWS?

Are there any open-source Slack alternatives? Slack is nice, but I would rather host my own thing.

Godaddy. Do I need to say more? Theyre hosting >30k websites on one machine and one of them is the one of one of our customers. I can't upload a file >1mb and the site takes 2 minutes to load.

I've been fighting with my xmlrant.com hosting provider for a good several days now regarding enabling web deploy for my account.

According to their screenshot it all works, according to my various attempts still getting either 404 or 401 with the same login / server details!

So frustrating... It almost looks as though same authentication works differently for them locally and for me externally... Maybe domain name needs to be in FQDN format... Or smth else... Either way this will probably end up with them saying fuck off, all is working on our end.

And as well it might - it just might be my incompetence... *self-doubt creeping in*

But it's still frustrating nevertheless.

So far I need to settle for unreliable FTP deploy, which introduces big overhead as always copies entire deployment folder, even is only a few files are actually changed.

*Le sigh*

Why do average people insist on buying ridiculous packages from companies like GoDaddy - when they don't know a thing about hosting or domains? They may as well just break a few of my fingers before I start their project.

3 out of 4 projects on hold because hosting companies nowadays can't do shit.

Changing a website on another hosting to a new one. Another hosting failing us, some big clients already waiting for the release.

I hate clients with shared hosting

IIS curse you and your nuances!

I launch my local web application (which was working fine) and now get CORS errors and 404 not found. Wtf. I clean the solution rebuild, same thing. Then I restart my PC and try again. Same thing.

Then I use Firefox instead if chrome and it magically works. Wtf!

It's hard to fix broken things when they fix themeselves afyer trial and error

Which cloud hosting provider do you use or prefer and why?

I've been using Digital Ocean for two years, but I'm thinking about switching to AWS or Google, because two friends of mine recommended them. For me, at least AWS, feels way more complicated than DO. But if they are clearly better, I will switch. What's your recommendation, if you have any?

Thanks a lot!

netlify.com boom!

Tired of using Google.. Anyone knows cheap shared hosting that supports nodejs? :(

Basically... 😂😂

Learning C#,

Finish the hosting platform,

Find new clients,

Enjoy three little things,

Be awesome

Self-proclaimed 'best' hosting business solutions "GoDaddy", if had 2 brain cells, they would never suggest me to reset the account for my custom theme not working on WordPress. Fuck you cunts

[on any forum hosting the very question that keeps you awake at night] I'll come back to explain how it was solved!

Once I redirect all hosted websites on a server to a old website without know about it . Off course the clients realize it.

New forum post! "Here are some useful links:"
- useful link
- semi-useful link
- link to some random URL, hosting a PDF of the print view of a Wikipedia article, from 2007(???)

Rant/Help me

3 months ago:
"Hey, the domain I want isn't taken and Vultr has some cheap hosting plan, only 2.5$ a month for VPS WOW, gotta get it!"

5 minutes later:
"Okay, I bought the domain, time to buy hosti- where is the plan?.. SOLD OUT? How?.. Okay, that's not a big deal, I'll wait a day, week or even a month if I have to, maybe the plan will be available then"

That was 3 months ago, the plan is still 'Sold Out' and me being a starving uni student, I won't invest my hard earned money into 5$ plan if I know 2.5$ plan exists!

(Help me, as in - suggest a cheapo but goodie hosting, if that's not agains rules heh).

Any good hosting site for php/nodejs projects?

I'm about to release my first .net core API solution (that relies on multiple separate projects under the solution if that matters) with an SQL database. I've never released anything before and could use some advice.

I want to use a cloud solution like aws or azure - any guidance please? I'm trying to find as decent a solution as possible for free, or next to free, as right now it's just a first stage release with next to no features.

Thanks

PS it also uses Hangfire. I really don't know enough to know if that's a factor.

Trying to find decent window server hosting for multiple websites without paying extortionate prices is less fun than I'd thought.

I'm looking for a nice Raspberry Pi kit to host my bots (Discord / Twitter) but I never used one so I don't know which to choose. Someone has an "expertise" to give?

"Are you sure this is not a scam" mum when I wanted to but my first lot of web hosting from one.com

"My site runs slow but I don't want to upgrade hosting"

!rant

Im a java dev in my day job (in a bank) and a real estate broker(on the side) as well... Im planning to create my real estate website from scratch. should i do it on java(spring) or other language?
I know php and ruby too. I had plenty of php projects and i had one ror project 5yrs ago.

P.s
which hosting do you recommend. *cheap is better for i am just starting real estate broker.