Not sure if I visited an ads website or a blog .-.

Been married for 14 years to a non-technical spouse. Biggest issue has been not able to properly vent about technical issues to my best friend. She still listens when I do even though I'm sure she doesn't understand. But, I love that she tries anyway.

In the corporate world, how does promotion work?
Cause Im just a student here and I dont have a damn clue on how it works.

Never thought I’m gonna sit and update car’s operating system...

Don't know if this has already been put up, but I got a good laugh from it

Well done microsoft

Haha! Command lines :-P

Teaching new recruit some SQL (even though hes supposed to fucking know SQL and have multiple years experience but I was a contractor and idgaf, not messing up my money. Just fucking annoying to have an idiot around you all the time).

Me: Okay, so sys tables, so this one is for jobs yeah?

Him: Yeah

Me: Okay, so in this table, its obviously not one row per job per step cos you have multiple rows for the same job and step. Also, there is a datetime field, so what is it showing?

Him: Hmmmmm..... (after some time, back and forth we get to the answer).... history table

Me: Cooooooool, okay, so, lets say, I have a job with 5 steps. If i run it once, how many rows will be in this table?

Him: 5 rows.

Me: Correct, so if I were to have run this same job, 10 times, how many rows get inserted into the table?

Him: (Now...you have to understand, how long this thought process was, im trying to fill the gap with words but really, he was like, having a flashback or something...I kept quiet but silently wanting him to say anything....then he looks me dead in the eyes).... 10!

Me: Motherfucker what!?!? 10 What? If 1 time == 5, what does 10 times ==?

Him: Hmmmmmmmmm.... (yes...we are doing this whole flashback montage all over again)....... Ohhhhh, 1!

Me: .....Stop, think, its a history table. It holds history, for when every step is run for a job, why would it be only one row?

Him: OMG, I know what a history table is!!!!

Me: (Pissed off cos I don't take disrespect calmly). Fine, genius, answer, go!

Him: (LONGER WAIT THAN LAST TIME!!!!)....is it not 10?

Me: I swear, I'm gonna kill you one of these days.

Him: *chuckle*

Me: No...seriously....

TOOK 20-30 MINUTES FOR HIM TO SAY 50!!!!!!

And even then, I swear he didn't understand why. Serious, he was a special breed, had a manager that was a super tard and when I worked here, the spirit of that manager possessed this idiot, the CIO and his little right hand bitch zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

If there was ever a time I was willing to catch a case at work, it was there.

Bonus: Serious, it got to the point I had to come in and tell this idiot that he can only ask me questions today if he calls me by my name...and my name has changed today...and no, you can't ask me for it cos you need my name to ask me questions.....FUCK OFF kkthxbai.

My dad found a phone a few weeks ago and asked me what he should do with it. Knowing how much it hurts to lose personal data, I said I could try to find the owner and send it back.

My first attempt was to search through the files on the SD card in order to find an identifying document (CV, bill, address...) but there were only family pictures.

My second attempt was to unlock the phone and check the information about the owner and the accounts linked to it. But for this to be possible adb has to be enabled. Good thing is that that particular brand shows an option for activating adb on the recovery menu.

But then, it's Android Oreo and I haven't found a way to lift the lock pattern. I thought I could bruteforce it over the shell (as I found there could be about 1300 possibilities for 2 to 5 point patterns), but there is the same attempt throttling as on the screen so that would take ages.

Finally, I found the owner in the most "social" way : The phone was displaying the weather for a particular place. It turns out that there are only 3K inhabitants in that city, si I thought that a big enough Facebook group might help me find the owner. So I posted a message on a 500 people FB group dedicated to this city with a selfie of the owner : someone identified her within 20 minutes.

Mission accomplished 😎

If they followed my suggestion and went straight to debugging the server issues they would have been solved it from week 1 and everyone would have thought the migration had a minor performance hiccup. In fact, we have already done such at least twice before and nobody batted an eye.

Instead they self-labelled the migration a failure on first error, setting the stage for apologizing to the client, and put themselves on the spot for a whole staging / production signoff, replication / backup worfklow, almost a blue-green "seamless" deployment reminiscent of DigitalOcean.

Well they're not DigitalOcean, and anyone who has spent any time understanding users knows they will not participate in "new system" tests long enough to find or report issues.

So of course the migration stretched out to almost three months up until the whole reason for the migration - the rapidly escalating risk of the old provider disappearing - hit like a freight train and now they have to go through the problem of debugging the server like I told them to on week 1. Only this time they've set the client mindset against it, lost any chance of reverting, have had grave risk for data loss, and are under pressure to debug other people's code in real-time.

This is why I don't trust devs to do ops. A dev's first solution to any problem is to throw tech at it.

Dear DevRanters,

I have a question: Where do you get your Tech/Developer news from?

Thank you.

Testing in production??

Don't know whether to laugh or cry!!😂😥

Any GOT fans out there? Well, biggest is me.

Guys wanna know more about my college?
admin admin works for the whole fucking students' network!

Oh, Elon.

How developers deal with someone else's code!
Fixing bugs after bugs and it goes on.

Government Fucking Websites.

Slow as fuck, disorganized, errors from 2004, UI from 2001.

You have to use them at a time when you really don't feel like waiting 30 fucking seconds for each page load.

Or filling out a fucking form that, ok, they made SOME kind of attempt to save your data, but it's overly complex and annoying.

Government websites. Making tasks that should take 5 minutes, 5 hours, since 1998.

Assholes.

Canadian Issues

I created a shell command alias named "brexit".

https://github.com/compilenix/...

One of my favorite aspects of devRant has always been getting to learn more about the awesome people who use it. Beyond just the awesome stories posted by many here, one of my favorite ways to learn about and feel connected to the people here has always been desk/setup reveals. I personally love seeing different kinds of setups from all over the world, knowing that’s what the people here use to do their work and compute in general.

As an experiment, we want to try a few different things to highlight desk/setup/remote coding location posts. First, we’ve created the first devRant Instagram account, which is completely focused on developer desks/setups/workstations/remote coding. Please check it out here and follow: https://www.instagram.com/devdesks/

I want to use the account to bring more attention to the wide assortment of setups the awesome members of the devRant community post from all over the world. We’ll promote cool desk/setup/remote work images that are posted on devRant to the Instagram account for more exposure/additional audience.

Beyond that, I also want to try to come up with a way to better organize all of the desk/setup posts on devRant and encourage more of them. One kind we don’t see that often that I personally really enjoy is people coding with their laptops in locations that show the culture of their country or something special about the region they are from. Personally, I’m going to try to post some of those for where I live and work.

So how can you help with this effort? It’s easy! We encourage people to post their setups/working remotely pics and we will start featuring them on the Instagram account and hopefully elsewhere in the devRant app for some increased visibility/searchabilty over what we have now (since pics are kind of hard to search).

Also, we plan to make the weekly rant this week “post your setup,” so maybe wait until then to post, and you can work now on getting that awesome shot :) I know a lot of people here love photography like I do, so I think that part is fun too.

Please let me know if you have any ideas or questions about this, and I’m looking forward to seeing the desks/setups of many more devRanters in the next few days!

P.S. not a requirement, but one thing I think makes these photos better looking through a lot of them is when there is code visible in some way.

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.

You don't need to pay attention to class if you can hack into your university's servers and change your grades 🤔😎

I've started learning shell scripting to help me write npm scripts for my web dev workflows. I'm actually really enjoying working with the shell.

A lot of changement since my last update...

remember, everything was full of boxes and full of dust.

Me to IT team: I need a more powerful machine to run my optimization code on.

IT: Okay take this - 64 gigs + i7HQ

Me after an hour:

When I update my linux I usually keep the terminal to full screen.
Roommates enter :
Friend1: Now what the fuck did you do? What are these lines?
Friend2: It was a good laptop.
Friend3: So ungrateful.
Me: *faceplam*

Senior IT engineer enters the room and quietly talks to a coworker about a job related issue.

Another coworker decided to troll the sysadmin.

CW: *yells* "Open a ticket!" (That's the sysadmin's regular reply)
IT: *ignores*
CW: *trying to get his attention* "Open a ticket first! Then come back"
IT: *gives him the stare of death*
CW: "Go away and open a ticket!"
IT: *silently leaves the room*

After no more than a minute CW gets a reject from all networks outside the company's VPN.

IT comes back into the room, get's intimately close to CW's ear and says "Now open a ticket".

👋

🎤

Google please fix this ;)

Got more free stuff

*taking interviews of freshmen for the computer club in college*

Me: What languages do you know?
Freshman #1: C, C++.
FM #2: C, C++.
FM #3: C, C++.
...
FM #83: C, C++.
FM #84: Hindi, Tamil, Kannada, English.

I shot myself in the head after that last one.