When your friends know what to gift you

Extreme..

Not a dev post, just wanted to share :) just for your viewing pleasure - My first pics taken using a low budget camera and ‘scope.

3. After that I take a decent break (e.g. an hour) because my productivity and efficiency reduce, and I'm not paid by the hour so a sustainable, high quality output that fits in with my life is the objective.

Any browser (+plugin) recommendations for viewing JSON and XML? Ideally for Mac OS, but have a Windows 7 VM I can use instead if there's a much better option. Currently I'm copying from Safari and pasting into Notepad++ and formatting with a plugin, but that feels pretty sub-optimal. Suggestions much appreciated.

Core library was giving serious blow out of execution speed as data file size increased.

Traced it back to a GetHashCode implementation that was giving too many collisions for unequal objects, so when used as the key in a hash table it was causing the lookup to fall back to checking Equals (much slower).

Improved the GetHashCode implementation, and also precalculated it on construction (they were immutable objects), and run time went to warp speed! Was very happy with that.

Obviously put in a thread sleep to help manage expectations with the boss/clients going forwards. Can’t give those sort of gains away in one go. Sets a dangerous precedent.

Boss: Any idea why ColleagueX's code might be blowing out the memory?

Me (internal): Cos he's a fucking retard who can't code for shit, doesn't listen when I tell him to do stuff properly because he's fucking lazy, has no idea what stack and heap are, uses goto everywhere, doesn't know how to debug, doesn't write any unit tests, and generally WASTES MY FUCKING TIME!

Me (external): Probably a memory leak. I'll take a look.

"There needs to be a Home option on the side menu, people won't know to click on the company logo in the top left."

What sort of fucking moron doesn't know that?

"The website is slower to click around than I'd expect."

No shit. Do you remember the part where you said we had to build it in WordPress?

My avatar has some catching up to do

!dev

Wife had a dream last night that I cheated on her and we got divorced. She woke up mad at me. It’s now 12 hours later and I just picked her up from work... she’s still mad at me.

Is it sad that I look forward to the weekend so that I can actually write some code rather than:

- Helping clients that can’t / won’t read docs
- Explaining to test colleagues that we need repro steps and can’t fix a bug based on “I was doing something and it crashed”
- Writing any regular expressions for another dev where it’s more complicated than ^[A-Z0-9]*$
- Wading through legacy VBA that’s littered with GoTo, global variables (even i, j and k for loops are fucking global!) and all the other fucking lazy shortcuts that save you 10 seconds at dev time and cost you (which ends up meaning me) hours in subsequent debugging.

I love writing code, and I think I’m pretty good at it, so can I please just get on with it?

Fellow ranters, please tell me I’m not alone in this.

I've been staring at the same section of code for about two hours now. I want to solve this puzzle and design it properly. I'm desperately trying to resist the urge to hack it. Not sure I can hold out much longer...

It would appear that having the same application open for 14 hours a day everyday takes its toll on your monitor.

Came out to the country with my wife and her friends. We were all sat around in the sun and I asked what we were going to do. She said we can do whatever we want. So I got my laptop and sat in the shade. She then had a go at me for being unsociable. FFS

Deep inside, no matter how many times I overcome my fears, I'm still "scared" of rejection.

It's an irrational fear, and I hate it.

CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.

Whoever at Dell thought it would be a good idea to put the charging port next to the USB port is a genius

So I was asked to help migrate an application to AWS, asked for the codebase. Received a GitHub link in my mail (Usually is a zip file). Satisfied I open the link to see a repo with a hundred zip files time-stamped with version numbers

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

Someone on my Facebook was boasting that he now has 1Gb internet speed.

Turns out he bought a 1Gbit ethernet card for his PC and thought that alone would raise his broadband speed..