Got call from extremely angry customer, our product is shit and doesn't work. At all. Important customer so I went to visit.

He had the perfect setup, our product to the left, our competitor's to the right.

He connected the Ethernet cable to their product, it worked. He plugged it out and connected to ours... Nothing. Shit.

I started to debug on the premises, took logs, everything. It seemed like our product didn't receive any data at all. What the fuck? Tried everything, debugged low level, still nothing. Sweating as hell.

After two hours I got a strange feeling. So I swapped place, our product to the right, competitor's to the left. Now OUR product worked, competitor's zilch.

THE FUCKING ETHERNET CABLE HAD A GLITCH. IF YOU BENT IT TO THE RIGHT IT WORKED, IF YOU BENT IT TO THE LEFT IT WAS BROKEN.

I had never seen a customer be this embarrassed in my life. He apologized to me, my boss, his boss, the Queen, everyone.

We got the contract.

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

"WiFi is better than Ethernet because the air is bigger so it can hold more internet."

Yes, and horse-drawn carriages are better than cars because they have bigger wheels.

!rant

*walks into university library*

*sits down at a computer 😶*

*looks around to see if anyone is looking 🙄*

*takes out laptop*

*unplugs ethernet from school computer and plugs into laptop 😯*

*50MB/s DOWNLOAD SPEEDS 😎😎*

Next time I try to install a server, I should check if the Ethernet cable is not broken.

😐

My girlfriends mom asked whether I could fix her coworkers laptop. She claimed that it had viruses installed and laptop is laggy..

So... I got that laptop just now, got home and turned it on. It doesn't have WiFi drivers installed and I do not have any free Ethernet cable right now.

About the lags... Well you won't believe how many custom tool bars and security programs there were. McAffe, AVG, ESET and some Russian made firewall which asks for license key every 5mins.

And she asked me to reinstall windows and keep every file of hers, and she didn't bother to point which files of 300gb of photos/videos/docs are worth keeping and which are not.. HDD is 300GB :A fuck me

P. S. Since it's my first rant I can say ranting helps a lot to calm down

Hello everyone, found this place recently, decided to bore you with one (or many) Navy story... tech Navy story. I'll start from the end.
Little backstory: I've deployed a simple domain setup on the ship I served, nothing fancy, a server, a switch, 10 computers, all Windows (details on that at another rant). I enter the ship Monday morning, and the XO tells me that he can't access his online folders.
OK, I say, I'll get to it. I fire up my laptop, try to RDP to the server (I know, I know, burn me at the stake later) no connection. WTF? Is the service down? I try pinging. No luck. I tried pinging the switch. OK. Looking at the switch admin panel, I see the server's port is dead. "OK, probably the cable." (we have old ethernet cables)
So, I drag my ass over to the server (same room with ship comms) with the cable tester to confirm that. What do I see?
The IMBECILES had pulled the plug from the server so that they could charge their mobile phones. I literally slammed my head against the door (calming exercise in case of spontaneous murder impulses - the things you learn at the Academy). My CO was nearby, and lucky for the guys, he heard me yell at them, while throwing mobiles and chargers around.
"But we thought it was OK, we just wanted to charge our-"
I kid you not, I reached for the firefighter's axe.
My CO grabbed me by the collar and dragged me to his room. I explained to him (between two cigarettes) that we MUST get a UPS and a server cabinet (budget constraints in the military are something that will give you people nightmares, trust me). I carefully explained to him that unless we got those, nothing would prevent the next moron from destroying confidential data and me from murdering him.
I plugged in and booted the server, after installing a multi socket extension. Two days after, surprise surprise, the server was off again. That was the first time I opened the door to the CO's room with a low kick. I must have looked like a psycho on drugs, he gave approval for the purchase in twenty seconds flat.
After that, I installed the UPS and the cabinet. Everything went inside, from the UPS to the very plugs. Just a locked box with cables coming out.
One of the guys came to my room, and asked if I could unlock the cabinet so that they could plug a "device" they needed.
I actually reached for my folding knife.
Disclaimer: The story above is TRUE. Even the almost violent parts.

Whoever designed the USB plug to fit perfectly in an Ethernet port: I hate you!

Someone on my Facebook was boasting that he now has 1Gb internet speed.

Turns out he bought a 1Gbit ethernet card for his PC and thought that alone would raise his broadband speed..

Navy story time, and this one is lengthy.
As a Lieutenant Jr. I served for a year on a large (>100m) ship, with the duties of assistant navigation officer, and of course, unofficial computer guy. When I first entered the ship (carrying my trusty laptop), I had to wait for 2 hours at the officer's wardroom... where I noticed an ethernet plug. After 15 minutes of waiting, I got bored. Like, really bored. What on TCP/IP could possibly go wrong?
So, scanning the network it is. Besides the usual security holes I came to expect in ""military secure networks"" (Windows XP SP2 unpatched and Windows 2003 Servers, also unpatched) I came along a variety of interesting computers with interesting things... that I cannot name. The aggressive scan also crashed the SMB service on the server causing no end of cute reactions, until I restarted it remotely.
But me and my big mouth... I actually talked about it with the ship's CO and the electronics officer, and promptly got the unofficial duty of computer guy, aka helldesk, technical support and I-try-to-explain-you-that-it-is-impossible-given-my-resources guy. I seriously think that this was their punishment for me messing around. At one time I received a call, that a certain PC was disconnected. I repeatedly told them to look if the ethernet cable was on. "Yes, of course it's on, I am not an idiot." (yea, right)
So I went to that room, 4 decks down and 3 sections aft. Just to push in the half-popped out ethernet jack. I would swear it was on purpose, but reality showed me I was wrong, oh so dead wrong.
For the full year of my commission, I kept pestering the CO to assign me with an assistant to teach them, and to give approval for some serious upgrades, patching and documenting. No good.
I set up some little things to get them interested, like some NMEA relays and installed navigation software on certain computers, re-enabled the server's webmail and patched the server itself, tried to clean the malware (aka. Sisyphus' rock), and tried to enforce a security policy. I also tried to convince the CO to install a document management system, to his utter horror and refusal (he was the hard copy type, as were most officers in the ship). I gave up on almost all besides the assistant thing, because I knew that once I left, everything would go to the high-entropy status of carrying papers around, but the CO kept telling me that would be unnecessary.
"You'll always be our man, you'll fix it (sic)".
What could go wrong?
I got my transfer with 1 week's notice. Panic struck. The CO was... well, he was less shocked than I expected, but still shocked (I learned later that he knew beforehand, but decided not to tell anybody anything). So came the most rediculous request of all:
To put down, within 1 A4 sheet, and in simple instructions, the things one had to do in order to fulfil the duties of the computer guy.
I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.
My answer:
"What I can do is write: 'Please read the following:', followed by the list of books one must read in order to get some introductory understanding of network and server management, with most accompanying skills."
I was so glad I got out of that hellhole.

Went to a shop to buy bubble plastic envelopes (gotta send something carefully).

Walked out with a new Bluetooth music headset, couple of charging cables, Ethernet cable and a music input splitter and also those envelopes.

Why am I like this 😓

My router is behind my bed so I have an Ethernet cable running through the house from my computer. When I'm drunk I can just follow the cable to bed. it works out pretty well.

Eureka! The IBM 5150 is on the internet!

One comment from @Fast-Nop made me remember something I had promised myself not to. Specifically the USB thing.
So there I was, Lieutenant Jr at a warship (not the one my previous rants refer to), my main duties as navigation officer, and secondary (and unofficial) tech support and all-around "computer guy".
Those of you who don't know what horrors this demonic brand pertains to, I envy you. But I digress. In the ship, we had Ethernet cabling and switches, but no DHCP, no server, not a thing. My proposition was shot down by the CO within 2 minutes. Yet, we had a curious "network". As my fellow... colleagues had invented, we had something akin to token ring, but instead of tokens, we had low-rank personnel running around with USB sticks, and as for "rings", well, anyone could snatch up a USB-carrier and load his data and instructions to the "token". What on earth could go wrong with that system?
What indeed.
We got 1 USB infected with a malware from a nearby ship - I still don't know how. Said malware did the following observable actions(yes, I did some malware analysis - As I said before, I am not paid enough):
- Move the contents on any writeable media to a folder with empty (or space) name on that medium. Windows didn't show that folder, so it became "invisible" - linux/mac showed it just fine
- It created a shortcut on the root folder of said medium, right to the malware. Executing the shortcut executed the malware and opened a new window with the "hidden" folder.
Childishly simple, right? If only you knew. If only you knew the horrors, the loss of faith in humanity (which is really bad when you have access to munitions, explosives and heavy weaponry).
People executed the malware ON PURPOSE. Some actually DISABLED their AV to "access their files". I ran amok for an entire WEEK to try to keep this contained. But... I underestimated the USB-token-ring-whatever protocol's speed and the strength of a user's stupidity. PCs that I cleaned got infected AGAIN within HOURS.
I had to address the CO to order total shutdown, USB and PC turnover to me. I spent the most fun weekend cleaning 20-30 PCs and 9 USBs. What fun!
What fun, morons. Now I'll have nightmares of those days again.

For anyone that goes to a TVDSB school in Canada, you can gain access to admin account by following the steps:

1. Enter your username

2. Put your hand on the Ethernet cable (do not pull yet)

3. Enter your password

4. Press enter

5. Wait 1.5-3 seconds

6.unplug the Ethernet cable

7. Wait

8. Plug in the Ethernet cable when you are at the desktop screen and all app icons have loaded.

9.enjoy full admin access!!

How deploying servers could be like 😂

University dorm admin story:
One guy had a problem with his ethernet cable. He broke RJ45 and wanted new one, so he asked on dorms group what to do. He was pointed to admin. So he grabbed a knife, cut the cable as close to wall as he could and walked with it to the admin guy. He said that he had problem with his cable and want new RJ45, so admin applied it on the both sides. Then he asked how to plug it back to the wall :D

In 2004 my mom decided to put Ethernet cables into the walls of our house, which is very awesome. Now i found out that the're Cat6!

After 4 months I've just realised that my internet is not running higher than 100mpbs because I bought a 100mbps Ethernet switch. -facepalm-

What I did wrong during my home office cleaning session this morning:
- put soap on my mouse mat
- snapped my enter key
- vacuumed up my F8 key
- absent-mindedly cut my ethernet cable
- lost my zero key
- dropped my backup hard drive (data was recoverable, but I need a new drive)
- lost one of the nose pads on my glasses
- got a cocktail stick stuck in a USB port
- exploded my mouse by using the wrong type of battery

Things I did good:
- nothing

As part of my internship, I worked in the IT dept of a big elevator company. The company mostly has designers (brickscad) and sellers (apart from the workers with which I had nothing to do).
So here I am 18y.o. getting my first iTop ticket which said "Network doesn't work, I can't do my job"
So I'm thinking I should call the guy and go through the standards.
Guy: Yes?
Me: Hello, I'm from the IT dept and I am assigned to your problem so how about we go through it?
Guy: Yea yea, come over already I can't do my fucking job! This piece of shit computer always giving me shit like I told you a month ago.
Me: I wouldn't know sir, I started working here this month so it must've been someone else from the dept.
Guy: No it was you, I remember your voice.
Me: But sir, I wasn't working here last month. Please, can we go over your issue?
Guy whispering: Great I got the fucking new guy!
Guy: Ok my issue is, I have no fucking network connection and without that I can't do fucking job now can I?
Me trying to stay calm: Ok sir, do you see the computer icon in the bottom right corner of the screen? Does it have a red 'X' on it?
Guy: Yea it does. It means I have no network connection.
Me: You're right sir, it appears that for some reason you have no connection. Is the ethernet plugged in the second port? The one at the bottom of your tower?
Guy: Yea it is, what do you take me for? A fucking amateur? I'm in this company 13 years now!
Me: Ok sir, I'm sorry but you have to check just to make sure.
Guy exhales: Ok new guy I'll hummor you.
Guy after a while: You IT people always think you know it all! It's as I said! The ethernet cable is in the top port.
Me: But.... sir... The ethernet must be in the bottom one for the network to work.
He proceeds to hand up on me.
iTop-->Ticket #5647---> Right click--->Mark as resolved----> Solution: he stopped being a blind stupid piece of trash.---> Send.

After a couple of minutes The system admin bursts into uncontrollable laughter.

A roommate said he didnt have internet on his laptop. Wifi wasnt working for him and the cable doesnt fit because he has a new ethernet port and needs another cable for that.

I told him that there is no new ethernet port or new ethernet port standard, I would have heard about it.

But he insisted that it was true.

So I grabbed the ethernet cable, pulled the clamp on his ethernet port down (as most new laptops now have) and plugged the cable in.

So my ethernet randomly stopped working on Arch.

At first I thought it had to do with a conflict between it and my tethered phone, so I tried removing all my connections. Still wasn't working.

Next I tried to test the driver itself and make sure it loaded on boot. It loaded, but was disconnected.

Next I decided "fuck it, I know I was just using the internet on Windows, but I'll check the ethernet cable is still plugged in anyway". It was, and it was returning the right MAC address, but still no connection.

So I try debugging the driver further. Everything seemed fine, except it would time out trying to establish a dhcp connection.

Finally I figured, maybe Microsoft tried to troll me and lock out the ethernet waking on boot. So I restart my computer, load into windows and check my ethernet driver, it seems fine. I go to disable the shutdown of the card on OS shutdown. Turns out this driver no longer has that capability.

Wait a minute!? Windows is also having connection issues!?

I look to my left.

Fuck my life...

My router was off... I must of kicked the powerboard under my desk..........

Linux is great they said
Linux works well they said
Linux is totally awesome they said

- - -
4 live cds
(Ubuntu, mint, Debian, Antergos)
3 wouldn’t boot beyond splash screens or even into setup.

no fucking keyboard
No fucking wifi
No fucking trackpad

Now I’m sitting here with Antergos, with a USB keyboard, USB mouse and an ethernet cable plugged into my laptop 🤷‍♂️

Good news... I think I might be getting through the hard parts

Please, for fucks sake people, STOP CALLING ALL FORMS OF INTERNET ACCESS WI-FI. CELLULAR ACCESS IS NOT WI-FI. FUCKING ETHERNET + FIBER OPTIC/SOME MORE COPPER CABLING/WHATEVER IS **NOT** WI-FI.

Tried to switch to Manjaro from Ubuntu.

Everything good except ethernet not working.
3 hours wasted, updated the kernel, three network managers changed, realised that the ethernet wire was loose at the modem end.

FML.

*wrestling commentator voice*
"In this weeks episode of encoding hell:
The iiiinnnfamous UTF-8 Byte Order Mark veeeersus PHP!"

For an online shop we developed, there is currently a CSV upload feature in review by our client. Before we developed this feature, we created together with the client a very precise specification, including the file format and encoding (UTF-8).

After the first test day, the client informed us, that there were invalid characters after processing the uploaded file.
We checked the code and compared the customer's file with our template.
The file was encoded in ISO-8859-1 and NOT as specified UTF-8.
But what ever, we had to add an encoding check, thus allowing both encodings from now on.

Well well well welly welly fucking well...

Test day 2: We receive an email from said client, that the CSV is not working, again.
This time: UTF-8 encoding, but some fields had more colums with different values than specified.
Fucking hell.
We tell the customer that.
(I was about to write a nice death threat novel to them, but my boss held me back)

Testing day 3, today:
"The uploading feature is not working with our file, please fix it."
I tried to debug it, but only got misleading errors. After about 30 minutes, at 20 stacks of hatered, I finally had an idea to check the file in a hex editor:

God fucking what!?!!?!11?!1!!!?2!!

The encoding was valid UTF-8, all columns and fields were correct, but this time the file contained somthing different.
Something the world does not need.
Something nearly as wasteful as driving a monster truck in first gear from NYC to LA.

It was the UTF-8 Byte Order Mark.
3 bytes of pure hell.
Fucking 0xEFBBBF.
The archenemy of PHP and sane people.

If the devil had sex with the ethernet port of a rusty Mac OS X Server, then 9 microseconds later a UTF-8 BOM would have been born.

OK, maybe if PHP would actually cope with these bytes of death without crashing, that would be great.

Conversation with my older sister

Me: "open CMD and enter command"
Big sis: *enters command*
Me: "Look for Ethernet Adapter"
Her: "What?? I can't see it"

*pause 'cause I'm confused*

Her: "Wait, was I supposed to press enter?"
Me: ...

One of the students in my department was smart and driven, but also really awkward. I had known him perhaps better than most other students, and had gleaned that he was depressed and had low self esteem.

On a few occasions he tied a noose out of an ethernet cable hanging from the ceiling and played "Pumped Up Kicks" when asked to choose a song at a party. Really strange stuff. If we had been betting on who would turn out a school shooter, I would've put my money on him.

Anyway, he graduated last year and this year I found out federal agents raided his home because he was building pipe bombs and intended to kill a bunch of people and himself. He's now doing at least 10 years in prison.

Sister: Does the cable (referring to ethernet) ever run out of internet?

That's where the bugs are

THICCC

Sure. Just unplug my ethernet cable without asking. Not like I'm trying to work or anything, right?

*desolders Ethernet, USB and GPIO rails from Raspberry Pi to decrease height*
(Desoldering that shit from a Pi fucking sucks btw, no idea what solder or pads they use but it's garbage)
*boots up Raspbian to see whether it still works and to set things up*
...
Oh shit.. I need keyboard and mouse for this :') fuck me I guess... Long live planning ahead. Does there exist a KVM over TCP/IP yet? 😅

Another fucking rant about my fucking goldfish brain.

At meetings, I usually note down things I need to fix, to do on the sticky note pad that comes with the OS, currently Mint.

I sat at my desk.
Looked at my notes.
Decided to properly put them as tasks on trello.
I copied all notes, planning to paste it on a trello card quickly.
Then I can just work on trello and separate into different tasks.
Connection issue.
Ethernet said connected but websites are not showing up.
Maybe restart will fix since I haven't opened any app and started working anyway.
Reboot.
Internet works.
Yayyy.
Trello showed up.
Yayyy.
oooh
f
u
c
k.

fuck.
fuck.

Coworker: Why isn't my internet working? I've checked everything, even the ethernet cable!

Me: *sobs*
Me: *connects ethernet cable*
Me: Try now...

Fuck you ISPs you fucking idiotic morons.
I just came to house to fix PC.
It turns out that it wasnt a simple fix at all.
The house had a good working networking done because the owner was IT guy.
The fucking ISP just disconnected that crap and run its own fucking shit because i guess they didnt understand how it was wired.
You fucking morons now i have to redesign your fucking shit because you fucked up good working internet when you could have just changed one fucking cable at router.
Sure it will be paid good to do it but damn its a lot of fucking work.
They fucked it so much that they cut cable that lead to living room half way in and i was wondering why no cable was the other end.
I had to go trough fucking spiders shit just because you fucking ISP fucked up.
Funny thing ?
They didnt fucking follow the norms.
Not even the basic fucking ones.
They twisted two fucking ethernet cables together so they could fit it trough hole and not just make the hole bigger.
Did they hear about electro-magnetism ? I guess not.
I had to run the PC to network over fucking wifi.
I gave the person my own fucking Wifi adapter until the networking is fixed in proper fucking way.
God fucking dammit !!!!!!!!!

This is my desk right now, anyone else who really enjoys fiddling with arduino / rpi electronics stuff?

Like making a remote for the projectors in school or using an Ethernet switch and a raspberry pi to create a WiFi network :P

Look at that fried ethernet cable, Morty!

2 things arrived in the mail today, still not my serial cable though. How fucking stressful, what am I gonna do!?

The website for our biggest client went down and the server went haywire. Though for this client we don’t provide any infrastructure, so we called their it partner to start figuring this out.
They started blaming us, asking is if we had upgraded the website or changed any PHP settings, which all were a firm no from us. So they told us they had competent people working on the matter.

TL;DR their people isn’t competent and I ended up fixing the issue.

Hours go by, nothing happens, client calls us and we call the it partner, nothing, they don’t understand anything. Told us they can’t find any logs etc.

So we setup a conference call with our CXO, me, another dev and a few people from the it partner.
At this point I’m just asking them if they’ve looked at this and this, no good answer, I fetch a long ethernet cable from my desk, pull it to the CXO’s office and hook up my laptop to start looking into things myself.

IT partner still can’t find anything wrong. I tail the httpd error log and see thousands upon thousands of warning messages about mysql being loaded twice, but that’s not the issue here.
Check top and see there’s 257 instances of httpd, whereas 256 is spawned by httpd, mysql is using 600% cpu and whenever I try to connect to mysql through cli it throws me a too many connections error.

I heard the IT partner talking about a ddos attack, so I asked them to pull it off the public network and only give us access through our vpn. They do that, reboot server, same problems.

Finally we get the it partner to rollback the vm to earlier last night. Everything works great, 30 min later, it crashes again. At this point I’m getting tired and frustrated, this isn’t my job, I thought they had competent people working on this.

I noticed that the db had a few corrupted tables, and ask the it partner to get a dba to look at it. No prevail.

5’o’clock is here, we decide to give the vm rollback another try, but first we go home, get some dinner and resume at 6pm. I had told them I wanted to be in on this call, and said let me try this time.

They spend ages doing the rollback, and then for some reason they have to reconfigure the network and shit. Once it booted, I told their tech to stop mysqld and httpd immediately and prevent it from start at boot.

I can now look at the logs that is leading to this issue. I noticed our debug flag was on and had generated a 30gb log file. Tail it and see it’s what I’d expect, warmings and warnings, And all other logs for mysql and apache is huge, so the drive is full. Just gotta delete it.

I quietly start apache and mysql, see the website is working fine, shut it down and just take a copy of the var/lib/mysql directory and etc directory just go have backups.

Starting to connect a few dots, but I wasn’t exactly sure if it was right. Had the full drive caused mysql to corrupt itself? Only one way to find out. Start apache and mysql back up, and just wait and see. Meanwhile I fixed that mysql being loaded twice. Some genius had put load mysql.so at the top and bottom of php ini.

While waiting on the server to crash again, I’m talking to the it support guy, who told me they haven’t updated anything on the server except security patches now and then, and they didn’t have anyone familiar with this setup. No shit, it’s running php 5.3 -.-

Website up and running 1.5 later, mission accomplished.

So, my raspi, that controls my home automation stopped responding to all web requests, when I got home, I noticed that the wifi dongle was not lighting up, It has worked with no problems for 3 months now, so that was really weird, I plugged in the Ethernet cable, ssh'd in and ran ifup wlan0
And BOOM consoled filled with
MESSAGE FROM SYSLOGD@RASPBERRYPI
And some odd codes, no help from Google either,
Then I checked dmesg, and there were these:
Bad relocation sym offset
Mac82011: unknown symbol
At that point I got paranoid, checked my auth.log and it was FULL of failed logins, the size was well over 1Gig, and first entry was from 2 days ago....
Then some weird shit with www-data running SU
Turns out someone got in somehow ( I'm running on nonstandard port and dynamic ip, I was supposed to disable password login today, as i had enabled it temporarily)
That made me check my wifi driver , it was modified 2 mins after they got in, had a badly made rootkit but chkrootkit didn't say anything about it.
Time to setup IDS!
Any tips for where else they might have their shit in?
Oh, also, it didn't take long to bruteforce in the zombie that got in :p
And yes, it was a compromised server that was also wiped recently, so I just emailed -rf'd IT as it had tons of victim passwords
NOBODY MESSES WITH MY MACHINE AND GETS AWAY😠

I get 20kb - 500kb - 1MB per second at my house on ethernet
School wifi - 20+MB/s
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Rando calling in last week:

Uhhh, so my PC won't connect to the enterprise Wifi. Think my ethernet cord might have died?

Me: No, but a few hundred of my brain cells just did after that sentence left your mouth.

These are the usual devices and ports connected to my laptop during normal operation.

HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH MODERN SHITBOOKS THAT EVEN LACK ETHERNET!?!?

So I just moved into a new apartment ... wait is the phone plugged to an ethernet port? ha didn't expect to have VoIP, so lucky

"PLEASE COME QUICKLY OUR INTERNAL NETWORK IS FUCKED!
-Uh, mam', could you describe the problem?"
Spent an hour, trying to fix this "network issue". Basic level 1 and 2 support. Can't connect using RDP on the server. No teamviewer either. Unplug, replug everything. Restart the server, the router, the switches. I knew that it was something dumb. I spent 3h on the highway.
To find.
That the fucking.
Ethernet cable.
Was plugged oN THE MOTHER FUCKING ILO PORT! FUCK HP, FUCK THIS, FUCK ME BECAUSE I SHOULD'VE ASKED FOR A PHOTO.

"It's fixed, mam'. Did you touch something when it was working?
-Uh, no, I swear. Also, could you please take a look at our printer? It's not working. It was out of ink so I changed the cartridge yesterday, but today it's not working!"

The cartridge was not inserted correctly.

Then she nicely made me a coffee, thanking me for the fix and asking what the problems were.

Just kidding.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! IT HAPPENED AGAIN!
The fucking Ethernet jack pin thing broke!
THE IDIOT THAT DESIGNED IT SHOULD BURN IN HELL!(or at least the certified engaaaaneeer that produced this one)

Okay you bastards ya got me: I fucking enjoy using Linux as my dev environment.
There, I SAID IT -

BUT DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND IT MEANS THAT I STOPPED HATING IT

Oh the fucking love hate relationship to fucking Linux.

"Hey, ihatecomputers! How many hours per year did you spend fixing internet connectivity issues on Windows?" you ask. Well, close to fucking 0 you goddamned imbecile. But on Linux? I don't even want to talk about it.

And what about that time when I wanted to connect my bluetooth headphones so I could listen to music while studying? Well, by the time my headphones were connected to my machine (usually a one second operation) I had no time left for, you know, actual studying. Oh my god, it's the most trivial fucking thing.

Well, at least that particular issue got solved.

Unlike that fucking Ethernet connection which has been fucking out of commission since I started using fucking Linux. Wifi works just well enough to make it not worth pouring more time into troubleshooting that shit, but just barely though because my wifi IS FUCKING DOGSHIT ON LINUX

...

But fuck me if it isn't it the most lean thing ever! It's the goddamned opposite of bloated. So smooth and snappy. And free as in slurred speech, or whatever. It makes me happy. When I'm not seething with rage, that is.

Yeah I guess that's it, thanks for tuning in.

~ihatecomputers

First year at university, prepared to set up multiple electronics.
rPi, arduino Ethernet shield, laptop, and desktop.
Brand new netgear switch to satisfy my internet surfing needs....

After setting up my devices, I realized none of them have internet. Hm. The feed port on my switch wasn't blinking either. So I tell the front desk, and a short 7 days later the port is back on. Yay, problem solved.

One morning I arise to see the port dark and inactive. Furious I use my laptop to share an internet connection while my actual port is "broken".

Support ticket is reopened and this time I get an email saying the port was disabled due to a security issue.

Me: what's the issue?
IT: there was more than two devices connected to the port

(OnLy TwO dEvIcEs PeR port???)

Me: oh okay I will only connect two.

The next day the port is disabled, again.

Me: can you tell me why it was disabled?
IT: a switch was detected being used, security error.
Me: how do I connect more than one device to the port without a switch???
IT: ...
IT: Please only connect one device.

🤔

My mum - "Something to do with traffic lights"

Because I told her I was designing an Ethernet traffic generator device.

Well, I was changing my desk location, thus I needed to reroute Ethernet cable and after taking off part of door frame I noticed that last time I fucking "NAILED IT!!!" tho it still works 😂

Yeah its happening installing skyrim on linux on Lenovo miix 3-830 (baytrail-M device) yeah lets see if it will work
Btw im using usb to Ethernet adapter which is usb 2.0 so thats why that speed of internet.

I'm thirteen, and we have an excel unit in our computer class. When she's want to teach us something, she'd deploy her screen on ours and we couldn't do anything. It took me until the third time (yes, that long) to remember the connection was wired via Ethernet. I took the cord out and my computer was free! During the boring "lesson," I opened Code::Blocks to work on a fun side project. When she notice she wasn't connecting to my computer, she walked over to my chair and saw Code::Blocks on my screen. Then, I noticed her behind me. I quickly pressed ALT+TAB. She walked back to her chair. To this day I swear she thinks Im a hacker.

Now I will defend USB-C untill my face turns blue and my mouth turns into a thunderbolt 3 port but fuck me some people complain about the stupidest shit when it comes to adapters...

Saw someone on twitter complaining because to get an ethernet port on his MBP... Only to notice he had purchased a USB-C to USB-A just so he can plug in a USB-A to ethernet...

Now maybe I'm thinking too logical but if you wanted an ethernet port, surely you would buy a USB-C to ethernet port and not seperate things to do the same job and then complain about it?

I can justify complaining about USB-C to auxiliary to some extent but for fuck sake I swear some people just get off on complaining about self inflicted issues -,-

Gotta love Linux!

Wanted to install Arch on my Rasperry PI yesterday, but don't have a cardreader on my PC. Still had an SD with a different distro (RasPlex) lying around. Popped that in, connected power and ethernet only, looked up the default SSH credentials and got to a blinking terminal on my desktop PC.
Well, how am I gonna format my microSD? Rasplex comes without fdisk, and I booted it from the only microSD slot.
Well, here we go - Extracted arch to a usb thumb drive, chrooted into it, switched microSD cards, partitioned and formatted it from the USB-Arch, installed Arch on it, chrooted from Arch to Arch (😁), set up drivers, network and ssh access, rebooted to my why-the-hell-not distro.

Everything worked!

Today in the tech store I asked an assistant where to find the CAT6 ethernet cables.
He said he didn't know and ended up in asking me for technical support.

well it took a while till I finally figured out what was wrong with the USB stick

There is this brilliant calendar with people's past predictions about technology. Some of my favorites:

- 1957: I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year. Editor of Prentice Hall

- 1977: “There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.” — Ken Olsen, founder of Digital Equipment Corp

- 1995: “I predict the Internet will soon go spectacularly supernova and in 1996 catastrophically collapse.” — Robert Metcalfe, founder of 3Com, inventor of Ethernet

You know what would be nice? Being able to Google anything to do with VPNs without having like 90% of the results being links to how-to-setup-VPN-client pages from every goddamn obscure commercial VPN provider in existance.

If I wanted to know how to setup a VPN client to work with Crazy Dave's House-o'-VPN-n'-Cloud-Hosting's paid-for service, I probably would have Googled for that, not general things like "openvpn ethernet bridging". Why am I getting so many commercial results? Either nobody sets up their own VPNs, or the VPN companies have SEO'd the keywords good and proper.

I totally envy people who have an ethernet connection, while installing arch Linux

Spent the past two hours debugging why ethernet wasn't working on a newly build PC... The other end of the cable wasn't in properly

Network Security at it's best at my school.
So firstly our school has only one wifi AP in the whole building and you can only access Internet from there or their PCs which have just like the AP restricted internet with mc afee Webgateway even though they didn't even restrict shuting down computers remotely with shutdown -i.
The next stupid thing is cmd is disabled but powershell isn't and you can execute cmd commands with batch files.
But back to internet access: the proxy with Mcafee is permanently added in these PCs and you don't havs admin rights to change them.
Although this can be bypassed by basically everone because everyone knows one or two teacher accounts, its still restricted right.
So I thought I could try to get around. My first first few tries failed until I found out that they apparently have a mac adress wthitelist for their lan.
Then I just copied a mac adress of one of their ARM terminals pc and set up a raspberry pi with a mac change at startup.
Finally I got an Ip with normal DHCP and internet but port 80 was blocked in contrast to others like 443. So I set up an tcp openvpn server on port 443 elsewhere on a server to mimic ssl traffic.
Then I set up my raspberry pi to change mac, connect to this vpn at startup and provide a wifi ap with an own ip address range and internet over vpn.
As a little extra feature I also added a script for it to act as Spotify connect speaker.
So basically I now have a raspberry pi which I can plugin into power and Ethernet and an aux cable of the always-on-speakers in every room.
My own portable 10mbit/s unrestricted AP with spotify connect speaker.
Last but not least I learnt very many things about networks, vpns and so on while exploiting my schools security as a 16 year old.

Actually I feel I am prety lucky about the relationship between my yamily and me being a dev. My dad is a developer as well (in fact, he was the one who taught me most of what I know today; not as in general coding, but good and bad programming practices, tips what to do next ...) and my mom just started learning Python.
So they know prety well what it means to be a dev and have quite realistic image of what to expect.
To be fair, I am still the one who usualy fixes broken printers and replugs unplugged ethernet cables. but that is because I enjoy doing that. I take it as a challenge for myself to figure out what/how/when went something wrong. Most of the times I try to figure that even without touching the broken things.
Anyway, getting off topic.
Alltogether I don't think that they have too unrealistic expectations, but if I had to chose one, it'd be my learning capabilities. I can't learn complete java in 2 days ...

When you can't decide which way to implement a feature and use a mix of both.

"This ethernet cable doesn't work because you made it too fast". ffs I had to fight for my grade that day.

I'm about to ditch full-time Linux.
It's the little things honestly. Display resolution goes nuts when connecting or disconnecting from external displays, Bluetooth headphones suddenly aren't found anymore. I spend hours trying to fix things but often get nowhere. I love the environment, but there's just not enough convenience that I used to get with Mac or windows. This morning, pop os that I've been using for months updated and then wifi && ethernet didn't work. So I decided maybe I would switch to Mint since it's got more support. Internet works but same Bluetooth and display problems. Idk.
Someone talk me off of this ledge.

when your update script fails because someone in the office pulls out your Ethernet cable.

Dear dongle manufacturers, I love USB-C, I think everyone does; it is the bomb... But.... But but but, please stop charging so much extra for it, I can get a USB-A to Ethernet adaptor for $12 AUD but it's going to cost me at minimum $49 AUD for the same branded dongle, even has the same internal chips... Why... Just... Why!

Do anybody remember when i wrote a rant about the IT teacher in my high school?

Few months ago we got the results from final exams! (we have precentage based grades)

Another thing to remember:
You can pick basic or extended version of the every test you take.
Everybody has to get at least 30% on basic exams (they are nessesary for everybody) to graduate from the school. The extended exams give you more points at university and they are not mandatory.
In addition to that extended ones dont have the lower limit

The IT exam has only the extended version (because its not mandator, you pick it yourself). It is pretty easy: just basic algorithms, basic C++ programs and general PC things.

I didnt take the IT class because i thougt i can learn much more at home. My friend took it. He is very good. He uses linux he wants to become a pen tester. I know he is worth getting 100% on that extended IT exam. (We did a lot of projects thogether)

Well... NOBODY GOT MORE THAN 20% on that exam! WTF!

That POS teacher should die in that win xp IT class with all ethernet cables stuck in his ass!

He didnt teach anything useful about algorithms to anybody! And that was the easiest and the most important part on the exam!

In addition to that people had to do few tasks on pc as well! And one of those tasks could been a picture in gimp BUT THE GIMP DIDNT EVEN WORK ON THOSE PC'S!

Algorithms are easy! That son of a twat didnt even understand it himself! That is why im telling everybody in my town to NOT go to that hight school for IT exam!
I dont want anybody to waste their life trying to learn something useful when that fucking bitch dosent understand anything!

That teacher is lucky. My friend got rejected from studing CS on university (due to the shit score) but he at least got accepted to study math.

I hope he will be able to continiue his dev dream.

I have a little big question

I don't have electricity most of the time but the ethernet cable from my internet provider is still working if i plug it in my laptop.
Except that i have to setup the credential from the provider, user and password.
Now!
I want to plug the ethernet into the raspberry pi (3B+) make it work , because idk where should i enter the credentials and then make hotspot so i can have a router powered up from the power bank.
A pi as router

Is it possible?

Because so far i have seen people who connect the pi to the router but mine requires electricity as any other else.

?? Welp

hey ranteros! i like to dream and i know many of us dream of a nice machine to do anything on it, if you want to post the specs of your ideal build(s) (even a laptop, pre-built pc, space gray macbook pro... doesn't matter). and your current one.

here's mine:

ideal: {
type: desktop-pc,
cpu: intel i7-8700K (coffee lake),
gpu: nvidia geforce gtx 1080ti,
ram: 32gb ddr4,
storage: {
ssd: samsung 960 evo 500gb,
hdd: 2tb wd black
},
motherboard: any good motherboard that supports coffee lake and has a good selection of i/o,
psu: anything juicy enough, silver rated,
cooling: i don't care about liquid cooling that much, or maybe i'm just afraid of it,
case: i accept any form factor, as long as it's not too oBNoxi0Us,
peripherals: {
monitor: 1080p, maybe 1440p, i can't 4k because of the media i consume (i have tons of shit i watch in 720p) + other reasons,
keyboardmousecombo: i like logitech stuff, nothing fancy, their non mechanical keyboards are nice, for mice the mx master 2 is nice i think, i also don't care about rgb because i think it's too distracting and i'm always in darkness so some white backlight is great
},
os: windows 10, tails (i have some questions about tails i'll be asking in a different post,
}

i think this is enough for ideal, now reality:

current: {
type: laptop,
brand: acer (aspire 7736z),
cpu: pentium dual-core 2.10ghz,
gpu: geforce g210m 2gb (with cuda™!),
ram: 4gb ddr3,
storage: hdd 500gb wd blue 5400rpm (this motherfucker stood the test of time because it's still working since i bought this thing (the laptop as it is) used in late 2009 although it's full of bad sectors and might anytime, don't worry i have everything backed up, i have a total of 5 hdds varying from 320gb to 1tb with different stuff on them),
screen: 17 inch hd-ready!!! (i think it's a tn panel), i've never done a test on color accuracy, but to my eyes it's bright, colorful, and has some dust particles between the lcd and backlight hah,
other cool things: dvd player/burner, full-sized keyboard with numeric keypad, vga, hdmi, 4 usb ports, ethernet, wi-fi haha, and it's hot, i mean so hot, hotter than elsa jean and piper perri combined,
os: windows 10, tails
}

if you read this whole thing i love you, and if you have some time to spare on a sunday you can share your dream rig and the sometimes cruel current one if you dare. you don't have to share them both. i know many will go b.o.b and say "what you're hoping to accomplish, i already did bitch.", that's cool as well, brag about your cool rig!

My fucking internet went off and was so slow that even ssh resetted me, fucking thanks. And it was the same typical pattern again: turn off, turn on, kbps speed, wait ~30/50 minutes and then again fullspeed, fucking cuntbags stop fucking fingerbanging the ethernet ports - I need to get shit done.

My grandma thinks “The Ethernet” is a place

I wish laptops were more easily modifiable. Ram upgrade? Gpu upgrade? 10-GBit ethernet? Maybe I should just buy a desktop...

So my school's wifi doesn't support my TV or something, all I know is the wifi doesn't appear as a potential connection for the TV. (Even then, when I plugged the TV into the Ethernet cable, it still gave me an error message.) Well I figured out a loophole Saturday night.

I plug the Ethernet cable into my laptop. Then activate the hotspot on my laptop. Connect to the TV through the laptop's connection. Problem solved.

Loopholes are one of the best parts of life.

Just drove to the store to buy a 40 foot long Ethernet cord so I could directly connect my computer to the router because Visual Studio is taking too long to download...

I'd like to give a shoutout to the best tool I ever had when I worked in hardware and had to troubleshoot ethernet. The "RLFLTWKW". (The Really Long Fly Lead That We Know Works)

My friend that I worked with long ago just dug it out of a drawer and sent me a photo so we could remember the days when trying to figure out why Mavis couldn't get on the network anymore could be resolved by our faithful friend "TRLFLTWKW". I miss you buddy. You made life so much better.

I wish I had an equivalent to you for coding.

the network at my job drops more than underwear at an orgy -.-

(variety of reasons, wifi is bad, and my vm hiccups the ethernet at least once a day)

luckily i move in a monthish

I accidentically disabled the network adapter from teamviewer - now Im not online 😑

When you install 10Gb ethernet...

... then want to trunk ports for more performance!

I bought a corporate refurb HP desktop to use to replace a rpi3 in an IoT project I was working on. It came with Windows 10 on it. It has an ethernet port on it, which is what I prefer, but Windows 10 couldn't see it. So I installed Debian and everything worked perfectly, with no driver config.

Thanks for the stress ball! Here a picture of it with my new Power over Ethernet adapter 😂

Fucking windows
I just had to setup a simple point to point network via Ethernet wire on two machines
- one running windows 7 and the other the 10
- scenario:
1- connect the wire
2- setup the ip address for the first machine
3- setup the ip address for the second machine
4- ping the first machine from the second one: (unreachable host)
5- check the fucking firewall state on both machines
6- redo 1 to 4 about 3 times: (unreachable host)
7- I decide to test with my machine and ping my machine works. (but the inverse don't work)
8- redo 1 to 3
9- start a web server with php and it works (the ping still not working)

the fucking ping is not working

Oh boy... IM ANGRY!
My lovely ISP just sent me my new Reciever and router, they now are 2 seperate things, which shouldve made stuff easier for me... SHOULD have...
So I connected both with ethernet, power etc... and... nope...the Reciever didnt accept the Router... nice. very nice... after HALF an HOUR i finally got through Support, amd they said "Use your old Reciever/Router combo, we will activate the new one on monday" so I went like:
Ok, that should work!
And nope. For whatever reason as soon as my new Reciever was plugged in, it sent a message to the ISP which went like:
"Im on the net, deactivate the old one"
You know what happened now...

My old Reciever/Router combo is deactivated and my ISP cant activate it because the departement for this doesnt work on the Weekend...
And my new one cant be Activated because its seperate now and the Router isnt activated by my ISP...

Now im here, with my phone as a FUCKING HOTSPOT FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE!
Alexa? Hotspot.
PC? Hotspot.
TV? Hotspot...

Fuck this...

FUCK.

I fucking hate printers. And printers hate me too.

I've been working as a software engineer for almost seven years now, and not a single day as a printer technician, which does not stop my mother from calling me each time a printer breaks down, as she did today. I hop over to her place, the printer is connected via usb into the ethernet socket, but she swears it's been printing an hour ago, and she hasn't moved a thing. - "weird", I think, "it must be connected wirelessly". Suddenly my sister, who's an Arts major, comes over, saying her printer broke down too - "cool so they're both wifi printers". I reset the router and my sister's printer springs back to life.

But my mom's printer, which is old and in bad shape (the printer, not my mom! assholes...), doesn't. It keeps on displaying a weird error message, and fails to receive any print job, whether wired or wireless.

I spent 15 seconds resetting the router, and 15 minutes troubleshooting mom's printer. Nothing worked.
I finally give up and leave the house.

Not a minute goes by and I receive a "your sister fixed the printer" text from mom.

I fucking hate printers.

So I'm wired into an ethernet box downloading an update via command prompt on a fucking ancient corporate laptop I pulled from the legacy gear dumpster that's about 20% original hardware. I get pulled aside by some loser and told that they just called security, who will detain me and confiscate my laptop. He says he's going to call his boss to fill him in. He calls, my phone rings. I laugh in his face, light a cigarette, flash my ID (my drivers license on a company lanyard) in his face and say "that'll be pretty hard since I'm your boss." I think I might have been able to see his soul exit his body. Side note- I was not his boss, I'm an infosec engineer of decidedly middling abilities and just try to practice my social engineering skill regularly...

Fuck you sysadmin, what makes you think that running a complete antivirus scan everyday at fucking 11am is a good idea?
What the fuck can I do with the fucking 5% CPU available? Should I play fucking Pong in an emulator? Write the story of my life with notepad?

Go hang yourself on an Ethernet câble in your fucking server room, you fucktard cunt.

The ethernet cable entry of my laptop is broken and now I have to use it with a tape! 😭😭 O don't want to take it back to the chipstore to they fix it!

Does anyone here know how to setup a dual gateway network?

Router-1 connects to the internet via ISP-1

Router-2 connects to the internet via ISP-2

Both the routers are in the same building. Obviously, the server system can only remain connected to one router. I'd like to set up the network in such a way that:

-All systems connected to both the routers can communicate with each other and of course the server.

-If the internet connectivity from one router goes down, all the nodes in the network must automatically use the other ISP.

!rant seems that my raspberry pi serial idea is a little bit complex at the moment and may take a more serious turn later, but I have studied and found DOS based TCP/IP software that will allow me to use my 5150 with actual Ethernet. There are a few 8bit ISA Ethernet cards that will work in the 5150 and separate executables that will configure DHCP, DNS, and even allow me to use a terminal emulator and SSH to connect to *nix based computers over lan! I'll keep you all posted!

At this point I can locate Ethernet port without looking and plug cable in. I think I did that too much.

!rant

I asked for Razer blade 15 base model for work purpose, considering about Ethernet port and all... Then my boss ordered 2TB option. Should I have asked for advanced model from the start? 😕

I don't understand why (or even how) I'm expected to be productive without a stable internet connection.
My computer doesn't have WiFi capabilities and the ethernet connection sucks too.
So, here I am passing time while waiting for Gitlab to load...

Will these fucktards just FUCKING FIX EDUROAM! alright it's a WiFi network that works across the globe and there's challenges with that BUT DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO MANUALLY RECONNECT EVERY random amount of time!!! I'll shove that fucking MSCHAPv2 down you fucking throats with that sweet sweets PEAP sauce bloody arseholes.
What do you fucking mean it works fine? NO IT BLOODY DOESN'T! Get your shit together and at least handle DHCP leases correctly and make them not expire every fucking minute!!

Also, how the flipping fuck does connecting to the eduroam VPN from within fucking eduroam make it more stable? Only ever so slightly though. Incompetent pieces of dick sucking craptards don't make me have to bring out the ethernet jack EVERY FUCKING TIME at school for christ's sake.
No, it doesn't make it my problem because I'm running Linux. Look on the Internet. The forums are fucking filled with people having issues and your docs are from 5 years ago so please kindly FUCK Off!!!

User: My printed doesn't.

My diagnostic: USB cable is connected to ethernet port

I decided to run Ethernet to a different part of the house figuring oh that's easy enough, only 30 feet or so, I bet it will take 20 mins....

3 hours later after spending 2 fishing wire through an Arizona attic I am dehydrated and sore. When will I learn to stick to coding and leave the labor to guys with callused hands and ladders.

Someone wanted to take a look to kde on Ubuntu 18.04 in my laptop, so did:

`sudo tasksel install kubuntu-desktop`

After rebooting and all did:

`sudo tasksell remove kubuntu-desktop`

and now I don't have GUI. The problem is that I can't also have network, neither by WiFi or ethernet. So I can't install packages.

The best way to fix that is to reinstall Ubuntu? Or there is a way to recover the ability to connect to network?

BTW, yes: "someone" was myself.
Shame on me 😔

Fuck Arch wifi handling!!! Why can’t you fucking just have the needed software in the base package!!! Because when you take YOU FUCKING USB INSTALLATION SOMEWHERE THERE’S NO ETHERNET!!! You’re FUCKED!!! What’s the point! Now I need to boot from my lubuntu usb dual boot install, FUCKING INSTALL the Arch iso, VirtualBox and then the needed wifi packages!! Fuck!

I hate having 2 same looking keys.
My solution is to hot glue Ethernet connector to one of them. And the plug it into switch as a holder.
Sad thing it comes of easily and I need to solder it into place but I will do that other time.

i often do tech support in chat rooms in my free time (because i like spreading good will,) so here's a tech horror story

"""

"hey, can you help me fix something?"

sure?

"so i dug my old XP machine out of my closet and replaced the bad Ethernet card with a different one and when i plug in the ethernet cable the PC bluescreens."

# oboi

did you install the drivers? Sounds like it needs drivers

"no"

then install them

"no"

why not?

"it doesn't need any"

why do you say that?

"it said \"This device is set up and ready to use.\" in the balloon in the corner"

it has generic drivers to deal with devices before the real drivers can be found

"shouldn't they work?"

some devices need the extra support provided by the intended drivers, so the generic ones cause issues in those cases

"ok, well, where do I find them?"

do you have a model number?

"yes, it's " # scrubbed for... privacy? i dunno

gimme a few minutes

<insert 45 minutes of aggressive Googling for (str(DEVICE_MODEL_NUMBER) + " xp drivers")>

alright i have the drivers, go here:
# again, removed for... idk.

"they don't work"

# oh here we go

why not?

"These drivers are not compatible with your system architecture."

what version of XP are you using?

"XP Pro"

x86 or x64?

"x64"

# fucking...

ok so this is gonna get real complicated real fast: use x86 XP or I can't help you, none exist for x64 XP.

"oh ok"

<User left the IRC channel.>

"""

College. The head Prof of the IT department tries to open a site without even looking at the networking icon, which says disconnected, meaning that the Ethernet cable was unplugged. Tries to refresh a couple of times.

Goes off to find a lab assistant.
Assistant comes is, plugs in the cable.

So us Aussies are about to literally be forced into using NBN soon (for people who aren't Aussies, NBN would be worse than using a log of shit as your ethernet cable) and having all ADSL connections cut off... Fan fucking tastic!

They can barely keep the NBN up and running for one day and can barely deliver promised speeds but nooooooooooooooooooooo, everyone must fucking use it...

This is the worst possible thing that can happen, when you setup a new computer.

I live for about a decade on ubuntu. I got an invite for a LAN where games are being played that I cannot run with wine or are not ported to linux.
Fine I get an old harddrive and setup a fresh Windows 7. I have a little update script that takes care of updating and restarting.
BUT I CAN NOT DO ANY UPDATES.
As you can see in the picture the original Windows 7 installation disc that was part of my computer did not carry the matching NIC drivers.

A friend of mine gave me a spare WiFi dongle. That did not bring its drivers on the USB dongle but on disc that he lost.

WHY?! HOW?! This is not plug and play. This is a part that SHOULD be plug and play.

After I got an other WiFi dongle that was plug and play, I could finally download the right drivers.

Why can the Windows 7 disc that was part of the computer setup not contain the right drivers, but a ubuntu 12.04 live disc can?!
ARGH

Fuck!
I have overwritten some files that make my WiFi-module work and I can't reinstall it, because that doesn't fucking work!! (Ethernet is also giving up on me😢)

NOW I HAVE TO FUCKING REINSTALL FUCKING UBUNTU, BUT MY LAPTOP WON'T BOOT FROM THE FUCKING USB!!!!

Finally got my wall up to my desk in whiteboard. 4' by 8' sheets cut to fit the whole wall with a 1/8" clearance at the top. Ignore the raspberry pi, I have to set it up this way because I have no USB network adapter or long enough Ethernet cable. There should have been a magic mirror where the box is but on that specific spot in the wall the studs are only 13 1/2" instead of 14" like they should be...

I was returning something at MicroCenter the other day. The guy in front of me was picking up a laptop be brought in to have fixed. They had replaced the motherboard, and put all his old data on an external drive.

"So what's this?"

"This is an external hard drive. We copied all the data from your laptop onto it and put a fresh install on it."

"So .. how do I get to it?"

"You just plug it in, over USB."

"So how ... how does that work."

This goes on for a while. Shop owner has to start his computer. Plug in the drive. There was a lot of, "So everything that was on here, is now on here?"

The guy had no basic understanding of external hard drives, USB, copying files ... thankfully while the files were copying from the hard drive to his desktop, he said he needed a longer cable to the router so he could put it on the other side of the room. It took the guy behind the desk an unreasonable amount of time to direct him to the isle with the Ethernet cables, but once he did, I was finally able to return my item.

I'm glad I no longer work in desktop support.

I guess I should relate what work experience I have: my internship.

A little backstory I suppose. It's required at my school to do an internship to graduate except under certain circumstances. They encourage work experience a lot where I study. It was around time for me to apply for internships. However, the closest I got was a phone call with Amazon that I biffed when they started asking about stuff like sorting algorithms and other Big O notation stuff. So I was pretty desperate. I found a small company that were looking for internships and got an interview with them. The pay was dirt (I made more as a crew trainer at McDonalds) but I needed that internship and they were only 10 minutes away.

Immediate red flags when I showed up to the address. At first I thought I was wrong, But I noticed the sign of the company pointing up some stairs that were installed on the side of the house I was in front of.

Interview was a bit weird. It was with the CEO and the marketing manager. Again red flags. I show up for work a week later.

Turns out, they have no full time developers. 1st day was getting my workstation ready and 2nd day I was running Ethernet cables to the basement where the phones were connected. Spent around a week doing that.

This was supposed to be a Software Engineering internship?? Excuse me?? I came here to learn how working on Software is supposed to be like! I was also their "tech support" both for their computers and their crappy software that was built 16 years ago that people still pay for that I had NO idea how it worked because I just started and NOBODY taught me anything! To make matters worse, even if I wanted to delve into the code to see how it works it was all made in ancient Perl which didn't make things any easier.

But I needed that internship to graduate. And thus begun my 9 months with them and boy howdy I have stories to tell. Stay tuned in the future.

When your PC is slow af cause of the hard disk so you make a dumb decision and change your hard disk with a new one and you gotta install Windows on it but you only have very old images of it so it requires a special USB driver to install the system and THEN you realise the setup image has NO DRIVERS for ethernet, wlan OR usb so you can do absolutely NOTHING with your fresh system so you decide to install linux instead but you realise YOU'VE REMOVED ALL X64 IMAGES BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING DUMB SO you prepare a bootable Kali USB to copy basic drivers and DriverBooster into the hard disk to install them on Windows.

AND THEN YOUR FRIENDS CALL YOU AND TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE 2 EXAMS TOMORROW BUT YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE THE COMPUTER SO YOU JUST GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF

This is why I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH IT GOES SO WRONG !!!!

Does anyone else struggle with I-want-this-to-work syndrome where you try to make something work that’s really specific and random but that you want to do and you spend way too long trying to get the tiniest bits to wrk and end up abandoning it after hours of wasted time?

Examples from me: trying to get an Ethernet cord to act like an AUX cord but using networking protocols so I can use my fucking sonos as, you know, a proper fucking computer speaker for fucking pc sounds instead of just streaming.

Trying to hook up a piece of exercise equipment to their own software that displays cool stuff except their software is only for windows and you only use/want to use Linux and you have to deal with HID devices through WINE and are ultimately just procrastinating your workout

Anyone got similar stories or tips?

So I just started watching Eli The Computer Guy's videos on networking and I really like them so far(only on the introduction so far though), but I was a bit confused about some of the stuff and I thought to myself that some of this might be obsolote or not so much in use these days/different. So here are some questions(now bear with me, I'm still a noob to the whole topic of networking):

-Are Eli's videos on networking obsolete(besides the speeds that he talks about), what you recommend some other tutorial, if so which one?

-Is a switch necessary for a small network?

-Do we still connect routers to modems or do we just use what we refer to as a router(a mix between a router and a modem -> gateway/gateway router)?

-Can you connect an ethernet cable to your router/gateway?

-So according to Eli if you have multiple routers they make seperate networks that cant just be acessed from each other, then how come it be that I can access my rasperry pi when I'm connected on the network of one router when the raspberry pi is connected to the network of another router and how come it be that once you have the wifi password you can connect to all of them?

Under pressure for a big feature that had to be merged into develop like one month ago. But I couldn't because of issues I discover every single fucking day.

Today's issue is that a Cucumber test fails. I try reproducing it on my machine, it fails with a different error. Apparently I need to download some 10GB database file from some company server.

Alright, let's download it. But it's damn too slow. Well, let's have lunch in the meantime.

I come back, the download timed out at basically the same point I left it at.

I don't wanna try again. Not without trying to improve things. Download speed is ridiculous. Switching from Wi-Fi to Ethernet definitely helps, I thought.

The cable doesn't work. The port LEDs are both off. Is that cable even connected to something? So I follow that damn cable throughout my colleagues' desks. I'm now doing things without even remembering why.

I finally find the other end. It is plugged to the wall. I try another plug, but that fucking LED is still off. A colleague tells me: not all the sockets are actually connected to the switch, you have to call IT to have yours patched. Stay calm, stay caaaaalm...

A small lamp turns on in my head. Maybe something in my laptop is broken. So I try with a colleague's ethernet. That fucking LED is still off. A-ha.

Turns out, the shitty macbook adapter has this Ethernet port that DOESN'T work out of the box. It needs a driver to even realize there's a port. I look for it, I find it. I finally have wired connection. It's like having drinking water again.

I turn off WiFi, I re-try downloading that fucking database.

Nope, it's still stupidly slow. The bottleneck was in the dumbfuck internal server.

FUCK.

At least I have Ethernet now.

I feel accomplished. After arguing with my family for a month or so, I finally solved the WiFi issues in my room! (We live in a flat. And the thick, concrete walls eat the signal super well)

I used to have 2 MBs downstream at most, with very common disconnects and general connection issues.

Now, just yesterday, I laid about 50 meters of ethernet cable all the way from my room to the other end of our house. Laid the cable along the top of our walls so that mom did not have to constantly whine how bad it looks.

Biggest issues were doors (Parents refuse to drill into the walls here, they tend to crumble a lot), but ended up running it under the door just tightly enough that the doors don't squeeze it in any way.

It works great! The cable is almost invisible, and now, my downstream is 30 MBps!

The only downside is that I used an old wifi router in my room that supports only 802.11b/g/n, not ac.

There is no joy in life

So I finally managed to set up networking on my 3D printer's raspberry pi: now it can connect to my phone's hotspot or to my uni's wifi network, depending on which is available.

Then I set up OpenVPN, using a remote server as a middleman so I can connect to the printer remotely and start/stop/monitor prints from anywhere.

Everything works great, except for one thing: whenever the Pi connects to the uni's network first, OpenVPN fails to start and connect to my server, rendering the printer unavailable (unless I use an ethernet cable, but that's not a viable operation since I need to lift the printer, and it's heavy).
The only for it to work as intended is to either:
a) keep my hotspot active (which kinda defeats the point), or
b) let it connect to my hotspot first (so that OpenVPN can start properly) and then turn off the hotspot, allowing the printer to reconnect to the uni's wifi and reconnect to my vpn.

Why won't things just work the way they're supposed to? 😭

I'm kinda amazed at how simple it is to host my private git server on my raspberry pi. That being said I couldn't get it to work well as an access point with hostapd. Therefore pushing and pulling while on my home wifi works like a charm, but doing this in public requires ethernet. Having an Ethernet run from outside my backpack really does make me look like some hacker terrorist person, especially in NYC

Anyone else really fucking despise the fact that OSX opens location tracking every time a wifi or Ethernet is connected and as far as I’ve found it can’t be turned off.
I’m ok with a service doing it on a request but not an OS that’s clearly gathering information. If I didn’t have to use it I’d throw petrol on it and burn it to the ground

Windows diagnostic tool wants to search for a solution to my desktop's network problems on the internet :/
Plus, I discovered my Windows installation created 40+ ethernet connections on its' own behalf... Time to wipe Windows.. :/
Luckily I use Linux on my Notebook...

Disconnected a production servers Ethernet adaptor ten minutes early. While people were working on it, and its failover was not quick...like five minutes not quick. Why isn't there a confirmation box on that Microsoft...

I decided to try out that built in mobile hotspot in win10 but my phone keep couldnt get IP from it.
I tried everything to fix this.
After 2 hours of searching the internet i bumped into an idea.
Pulled out the ethernet cable and plugged in.
It worked.
I cant look at myself in the mirror...

So I'm working on some communications app which bridges the main server/database with some equipment on the field. Now this equipment works in a redundancy pair: two cpus, A and B, both connected via ethernet, one active, the other standby/replicating and no comms on it. One obvious requirement is that when this equipment swaps the active cpus the comms app should switch as well. Fair enough, going with this into testing phase.

This guy, from qa, got some instructions from someone else:
1. Trigger the soft switch from equipment so that cpus got swapped.
2. Remove the ethernet cable from the standby unit.
3. Observe the communications.

And the test goes like: cpu A is active, B is standby. Switch is triggered, B becomes active, A goes into standby. The cable is pulled out from cpu B.

Test result: failed, no comms ever

What would it take to connect two Raspberry Pi's together via Ethernet ports? I want to make a low latency network connection between them, for Retropie Netplay.

I have a background in Python and some Linux, but I'm not well versed in raspi's.

I imagine that it would be limited to 100mb/s if I used raspberry pi zeros with adapters. And I would probably need an router since they aren't setup to be both hosts with the default setup?

Im thinking about getting a raspberry pi 3 or an odroid-c2.
(Specs at the end)

Its to host a simple php server and maybe a gitlab server, both for personal use.

Should I go with the better performance or the better community support?

Odroid specs
System-on-chip used : Amlogic S905
CPU: 1.5 GHz 64-bit quad-core ARM Cortex-A53
Memory: 2 GB LPDDR3 RAM at 912 MHz
Storage: MicroSDHC slot, eMMC module socket
Graphics: Mali-450 MP3
Connectivity: 4× USB 2.0, micro-USB OTG, HDMI 2.0, Gigabit Ethernet (8P8C), Infrared, 40× GPIO ports

Raspberry specs:
SoC: Broadcom BCM2837
CPU: 4× ARM Cortex-A53, 1.2GHz
GPU: Broadcom VideoCore IV
RAM: 1GB LPDDR2 (900 MHz)
Networking: 10/100 Ethernet, 2.4GHz 802.11n wireless
Bluetooth: Bluetooth 4.1 Classic, Bluetooth Low Energy
Storage: microSD
GPIO: 40-pin header, populated
Ports: HDMI, 3.5mm analogue audio-video jack, 4× USB 2.0, Ethernet, Camera Serial Interface (CSI), Display Serial Interface (DSI)

Worst coding mistake: accidentally overwriting part of the address field in an Ethernet frame instead of the vlan tag when developing a network switch...

Developers always need
1. A laptop
2. Ethernet cable
3.empty room

;)......

Speaking with my former coworker about networking:

Me: Coaxial uses the Ethernet layer two protocol.

Coworker: No? Coax uses the RADIUS layer two protocol.

And this guy was my "superior."

Network management from the terminal is such a pain in the ass on linux! Far too many different config files in many different places, and I have no idea which works with which!
Just now I managed to fuck something up in my RPi's config, so I don't have wifi access anymore and I didn't have time to find its ip address while connected through ethernet :/
Fuck's sake

Final update: the problem was in my ethernet port which goes from the wall... I just needed to connect it directly to router. I'm in

Hi all,

sadly my old laptop is dying (first was the hdd, then came the battery; today the keyboard just shut down, and the trackpad followed shortly). The warranty is expired, so I was thinking about a new notebook. I was looking around but I didn't find pretty much anything interesting.

So, I'm asking you for some advice on the matter, considering the following factors:
- I currently live in Italy and I'd like to keep the Italian keyboard layout, as well as the power socket;
- I usually buy everything on Amazon (Italy), but I don't mind any other online shop (in Italy), as long as they are trustworthy.

That being said, these are some of the specs I had in mind:
- screen size between 13" and 15.6", FullHD (or better), matte over glossy. I don't care about touchscreen;
- Intel i7 Kaby Lake (7th gen) or Kaby Lake Refresh (8th gen) CPU. Not the U series or any other undervolted revision;
- 16GB of DDR4 RAM (2400MHz or better);
- SSD as main storage (at least 128GB) and secondary HDD/SSD slot;
- I don't care about the GPU (right now I don't have to play :_( );
- the whole laptop (core + battery + etc.) should weight less than 2.3kg or ~5 pounds;
- it has at least one USB 3.0 TypeA port, and an ethernet port (and of course WiFi, Bluetooth, etc.);
- a price of €1200 or less (I can probably spend a little bit more for something I'm truly enthusiast of).

Thanks in advance for your time.

So I ran into a perplexing "issue" today at work and I'm hoping some of you here have had experience with this. I got a story-time from my coworker about the early days of my company's product that I work on and heard about why I was running into so much code that appeared to be written hastily (cause it was). Turns out during the hardware bring-up phase, they were moving so fast they had to turn on all sorts of low level drivers and get them working in the system within a matter of days, just to keep up with the hardware team. Now keep in mind, these aren't "trivial" peripherals like a UART. Apparently the Ethernet driver had a grand total of a week to go from nothing to something communicating. Now, I'm a completely self-taught embedded systems focused software engineer and got to where I am simply cause I freaking love embedded systems. It's the best. BUT, the path I took involved focusing on quality over quantity, simply because I learned very quickly that if I did not take the time to think about what I was doing, I would screw myself over. My entire motto in life is something to the effect of "If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it to the best of my abilities." As such, I tend to be one of the more forward thinking engineers on my team despite relative to my very small amount of professional experience (essentially I screwed myself over on my projects waaaay too often in the past years and learned from it). But what I learned today slightly terrifies me and took me aback. I know full well that there is going to come a point in my career where I do not have the time to produce quality code and really think about what I am designing....and yet it STILL has to work. I'm even in the aerospace field where safety is critical! I had not even considered that to be a possibility. Ideally I would like to prepare now so that I can be effective when that time does come...Have any of you been on the other side of this? What was it like? How can I grow now to be better prepared and provide value to my company when those situations come about? I know this is going to be extremely uncomfortable for me, but c'est la vie.

TLDR: I'm personally driven to produce quality code, but heard a horror story today about having to produce tons of safety-critical code in a short time without time for design. Ensue existential crisis. Help! Suggestions for growth?!

Edit: Just so I'm clear, the code base is good. We do extensive testing (for lots of reasons), but it just wasn't up to my "personal standards".

This is the weirdest thing that have happened to me related to computers... When I connect an ethernet cable to my computer and I use the iex command (Interactive Elixir or elixir console, whatever) on my terminal it takes about 6 seconds to load but when I disconnect the cable and use iex again it starts instantly, like, what the fuck. This happens with any Elixir command. I've had this problem for several days and honestly I didn't know why it was taking so long to load.

So today my teacher told me to do that project for some competition or something(frankly, I don't remember clearly what this is for). He gave us the machines we need, the CDs with the systems we have to work with. We are supposed to make a properly working Beowulf cluster from the things I've been given.

Well, no.
Fucking no.

I am really okay with making this the way my teacher wants us to do. I am okay with installing an ubuntu 16.04 server that is completly irrevelant to the project, because it's not part of the cluster. I am really okay with using some weird linux distribution on the master nobody has ever heard of. But I'm not okay when the software we've been given(including operating system) has seven pages of documentation, escpecially when fucking screenshoots of how PXE booting should look like are roughly 70% of it. No, I couldn't find a thing on the internet about it. I couldn't read the fucking manual. There was no fucking manual. There was no fucking --help. There was no motherfucking english language. Everything was motherfucking spanish, including that 7 pages long document that was supposed to guide us through our work. It was planned to be done until march. The only reason I can think of about why doing the stuff the document tells us to do would take four motherfucking months is that we'd have to learn spanish to do this. And I'm not going to do that. Not because I don't like spanish or learning. Simply because I didn't sign up for this to learn languages.

And no. I can't switch to other, human purposed software. I am only allowed to use the things the teacher has given us. Because somebody has worked on it already couple of years ago and they had left a pdf file about how to install that ubuntu server I've been writing about a while ago. Which, by the way, was the "installation guide for animals". Showing how to install a system, screenshoot after screenshot.

It took about an hour to figure out the thing supposed to handle pxe booting computers all the time was telling us that it can't work because we had to configure ethernet interface manually. Because why the fuck not.

Holy fucking shit, I hate ubuntu SO much.

So what it happened..
I was tryin to set up an Ubuntu server on my machine using virtual box, and I know what you are thinking, "VirtualBox?" yeah its the only machine I had lying around and it had windows and I didn't wanna re-format its hard drive.
So Here how it goes...
Install went fine.. But when I was trying to manage multiple network interfaces, it was Terrible & pain in the ASS 😡...
So initially I needed 2 network interfaces, one for NAT adapter and another Host-only interface for SSH and stuff.. so I made changes in virtualbox settings and rebooted the VM. and it stuck on "a start job is running for wait for network to be configured" I was like okayy and removed host-only adapter and rebooted, it booted fine :/ then I tried combo of bridged adapter with my Ethernet and a host-only adapter, and what? it booted finally! but this wasn't an optimal solution because it had and IP address within subnet of other devices with my router and half the bandwidth (like 50mbps or something).. I reverted back to NAT network & I checked with ifconfig and it STILL didn't had an IP address assigned to it for Host-only adapter!! FFS I deleted the VM and reinstalled the whole thing again but this time both interfaces attached..
after installing it stuck on same shit again :'(
"a start job is running for wait for network to be configured"... FUCK!
after about an hour of troubleshooting and trying different configurations, I still couldn't get it to work.. I never had such problems with centOS.

Fuck you ubuntu.. fuck you in the ass

So it's basically impossible to install Arch Linux on a MacBook without an Ethernet cable.

I downloaded the wi-fi drivers and put them on a separate USB and then tried to compile them in archiso, but without success

If I'm at the library.

And there are Ethernet ports.

Desktop computers are connected to it and working fine.

But when I try to unplug it and connect my laptop with it it's just doesn't work, as if it says there is no Ethernet connection at all.

What are some of the reasons for such thing?

Do I have to look up specific IP configuration and configure it on my laptop?

Do these windows domain system matter?

How can I get started figuring why it says it's that there's no connection in the first place?

The librarians know Jack shit about why it's not working.

And I can't find the technician contact address to ask him/her/them directly.

WiFi works fine, but slow, Ethernet connections has a gigabit connection. (I believe that should explain why I want to use that instead)

I had to share my laptops wifi internet with my desktop using ethernet. Microsoft has a dedicated feature of Internet Connection Sharing and it didn't work.
But manually bridging connection adapters got the fucking job done.
Just Microsoft things.

So today was going to be the Sunday when I finally connected my smart TV though my raspberry pi to access my network and have it connect to the internet.
My TV is 6 years old, so it doesn't have built in wireless, it does not recognize normal Wifi dongles so you have to buy a LG special one for ~120$ to get hat to work, so my previos solution: screw that, one chromecast + 1 osmc raspberry pi3 and I can do more than what the software build in the TV could do.

But my wife really wanted to be able to play netflix directly on the TV without using her phone so I thought:
If I connect my TV via LAN cable to my raspberry pi it should be able to forward traffic via the built in wireless on the raspberry and be able to have internet connection.
OK, its Sunday, my wife it out, I haven't done anything with iptables in the last 5+ years but I have google and should be able to figure it out eventually:) time to start this home improvement project!!!
OK, lets just check online if there is someone else who had similar idea as a place to start.
... quick google search:

Hmm, in your OSMC, go to teathering, "wifi to ethernet" and enable.
I try it and it works!
5 min and one short ethernet cable was all that were required.

It feels like I cheated and won the game without any effort, and what should I now do with the rest of the day?

Yesterday I wanted to give Gentoo a try. I could not even get the ethernet working on the fucking live-USB. Guess no Gentoo for me.

Because I dev, people think of me as a tech guru to consult on everything related to anything more tech than a stone.

Like guiding people on how to insert their ethernet cable when "the internet suddenly shut down".

the wifi is fucked up, using ethernet , and no idea why

In a quiet, closed space unhindered by distractions.

For me (and I'd imagine, many others here), constant conversations in the background, people walking by, etc absolutely kill my focus and keep me from getting work done. Working from home helps a bit, but my neighbors provide plenty of their own distractions.

Honestly, I'll take a broom closet with a laptop, headphones and an Ethernet jack over any other open office design.

The house my family is renting currently has ethernet ports in every room, most of the ports and cables are labeled with numbers, however some of the ports are labeled without a corresponding cable and vice versa, the table closet is a mess and things are hard to reach as is. Any tips & tricks for figuring out which cables (for example the unlabeled ones) go to which ports?

Ethernet switch is broken

This happened last week, parts of our lan was working so could still connect to our svn server but no internet at work for a couple of days bar stack overflow on my phone.

Infineon infineon infineon...
Your aurix tricore is amazing for all safet systems... On paper.

Your support is abysmal. Tried forums, support line to verify a demo that only seems to work sometimes.

I just wanted to get ethernet communication using the demo. But hey one week gone and no success....

And the code seems to behave differently for each run :| the debugger works only on global variables and no printf statements. But hey just make a lot of globals right? So little footprint available so not possible :-\

Hoped that some forum could confirm the demo so I knew I was just making a fuck up, but cannot get that verified...

Embedded programming not for me... :/

Anyone have experience with Hackintosh, I made a build yesterday but don't have some kext for ethernet and a Nvidia gtx xD

The day before my lab exam, everyone is busy making copies of C programs that are of eight pages. Some tries to write the copy on paper and some tries to save the previously saved file to another location but before the exam they will clear out all systems in lab.

All systems in lab are connected to an ethernet switch some tries to save a copy to network and that wont work. Finally everyone passed the exam! I have saved all the programs into the network of office pc and told everyone that at the time of lab exam everyone will get a path to the program saved file.

Next day i took CMD > msg * location_to_the_program😜

Network switch or Ethernet switch can act as a lan? I mean can they do all stuffs like sharing files and data between two systems?