Last week my PM scheduled a meeting for the whole team of 14 devs to talk about our tasks, how we can improve our workflow, so he's up to date on daily stuff nad sprint progress. After an hour and a half of lots of brainstorming i just asked
- what exactly do you want to achieve with all these changes?
- basically i would like on overview of current progress on each task

And he proposed couple of different meetings during the sprint, which would waste dev time. He proposed to apoint one person reaponsible to keeping him informed during each sprint. He proposed we change our meetings, our process, all of it.
So I just sat with my laptop during the same meeting and I prepared a jira board with swimlanes, filters, etc. Where you can sort by priority, size, what is blocked, what is, waiting in queue, what is being currently developed, what is being tested, what's ready for deployment, etc. Easy. 5-10mins of work.

- does this solve your problem?
-....
- you have everything here
-... What if someone doesn't update the ticket status?
- we check everything during our dailies, so, worst case scenario is the status is not update for 24h
-... Umm.. Yeah.. I think thats it. Thank you.

So, we basically wasted 20+ man-hours on another bullshit meeting because the guy thats supposed to be using these tools doesn't know them at all. After working here for 6 months.

devops showed me another alias today
git fap
fap=fetch all prune

I just got cancer. "full stack" wrote this:

var steams = [] ;
for (var key in images) {
streams[streams.length] = fs.createWriteStream(images.imageName);
streams[streams.length - 1].on('close', function (filename) {.....

why, Why Why and how did you come up with something this bad?
Dude creates an empty array to populate it with write streams just so he can pop each one two lines below and attach a listener.

It's the first thing I checked in this application and I'm afraid what else I'm gonna find.

Tech support: we need to install backup software on your laptops.
Devs: what for?
TS: to backup all your important files, like word docs, excels, etc.
Devs: we don't use those. everything is on git/confluence/etc
TS: my boss told me to install it everywhere, so I have to do it.
Devs: well just disable it. uses too much tam, disk time and such
TS: whatever.

So he installed it on each laptop separately, took half a day, then we just disabled it and proceeded with our tasks. Now we get a question every other week why nothing is being synced from our computers. "We paid for the system and we want you to use it".
yeah..

Oddly satisfying DevRant +1s

although I quit, going out for a smoke got me rethink my problem and find new perspective pretty much every time

//it works!!

why are flip flops so expensive? I wear them for like 6months straight irl :D

I have this little guy to keep me company at work ;)

- we need to show progress to the business
- but rewriting this component to be generic AND implementing it on the whole website can't be completed in one sprint. This will require a lot of regression testing, modifications to existing functionality, etc. we need to split it in two
- that's disappointing

we were forced to write shitty patchworks for over 2 years and now everyone's surprised it takes time to replace with proper code -.-

I still don't like using React/Polymer for really big projects. There's nothing like carefully tailored jquery code doing exactly what you wanted with addition of promises and requirejs. Anyone?

I'm converting some old stylesheets to sass and found this gem. How drunk I must have been to write something like this o.0

I'm the only frontend dev for a website with over 30M UU a week. It's constantly evolving. I'm scared that even when I have an accident and end up in coma, they'll still hook me to a laptop to code.

Answer from 3rd party software company: "we can't fix these bugs because it requires development on our side".. hehe, yeah, no shit 😂

Favorite color scheme for your ide? Base 16 Monokai <3

When new junior front-end tells you he doesn't need to know javascript since he already knows angular.

When you just merge master into development branch and whole Jenkins wall turns red. Wtf? Wasn't me bro.. o.O