Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuck
Buy Now
-
Asked a girl what would she like to eat and gave her two options. She answered "Ok. Let's go".
Error cannot find parameters in line 212 -
Logic Gem found at work today.
if (value != null) {
return value;
} else {
return null;
}
😂 😂😂😂😂😂11 -
"By using [service] you agree to our privacy service."
No, I don't. At all.
Imagine a house with an open door. You go in, because it's wide open anyway and it seems interesting. As you are inside, not earlier, there is a sign that says 'By coming in here you agree to blow whoever you come across in here.' and suddenly – must be a coincidence, right? – I'm there.
I hope you have a big mouth and are a master in suppressing your fucking gag reflex, because, remember? You agreed to blow me.52 -
Me trying to find a good risotto recipe.
Sister-in-law, PhD: What about pumpkin or courgette and salmon?
Me: ...
SIL: ...
Me: Could you add some parentheses?
SIL: (Pumpkin) or (courgette and salmon)?
Me: Much clearer, thanks! Go for courgette and salmon.6 -
He gave me task, and I estimated it will take 2 (120 minutes) hours...
He came after 20 minutes to check the progress... Then he came after 40 minutes... Then he call me after 70 minutes... Then he came again after 90 minutes... Then I delivered the task in the time with my resignation letter draft.8 -
Indentation check
Hardecoded values check
Kickass logic check
This is the best program that I have seen in my entire life.
9 -
Apparantly, wanting to use company assets for a smoke machine so when clients visit you can say "Welcome to the cloud!" is immature.3
-
Aaaah...I just got back from a meeting because of a production data problem caused by an analyst who keeps making mistakes that screw up client data. I wrote a program to automate most of it and everybody initially accused me of having a buggy program, only to find out she wasn't using it, never did.
"Why aren't you using the program then?" was asked. "Oh, well, I just understand my way better," she replies, "When I make a mistake at least I understand why."
Pause....
"Then, um, if you know you're making a mistake, why don't you fix it?"
"Because my process is so manual and labor intensive sometimes it's not worth it to go back and fix it, because I'd have to do everything over again, and you guys are much better at fixing this stuff than I am."
I indicated that everyone is too busy to stop and fix her mistakes, to which she then asks:
"So if you can't fix my mistakes, what am I supposed to do?"8 -
Client: We need these book genres added to the website ASAP!
PM: Hey dev, its priority #1, please add these genres ASAP!
Dev: Okay, can I get a file which needs to be imported?
Client: Oh we will have that in couple of weeks.
Dev: Okay so write me in couple of weeks.
Client: What kind of company is this? Outrageous!!!6 -
"Can you work on this ticket? It's kind of urgent."
-- "OK"
"And could you please not refactor? Just get this done."
-- "Why? What's the issue?"
"The logic is complex. We should not break it."
-- "Erm, that's what the tests are for. So yes, if the need arises, I'll refactor. The tests are my guidelines if the logic breaks or not."
There's a reason we create tests. So let's not hinder code base improvements by some random fear that stuff might break.
If breaks due to refactoring, we'll fix it by adding a valid test case during and then fixing the bug.
If my refactoring does not break the tests, I'll assume the code base is stable.
If your code is untested, then we have a complete different problem.3 -
hmmm....
Don't quite understand the logic my boss just relayed to me yesterday.
BOSS: I think browserstack is too expensive for what it is.
BOSS: We have an issue on the iPhone.
ME: I don't have an iPhone to test.
BOSS: We will provide you one!
ME: To be honest I will never use it except to test. I hate Apple. A browserstack subscription is a lot less than an Iphone and I can test on all browser and phone models and we would never have this issue again.
BOSS: ???
ME: ???
BOSS: We will get you a browserstack subscription.7 -
If I keep ignoring issues they'll eventually overflow and I'll have a negative amount of bugs, right?4
-
I'm currently trying to enjoy my research for building a new gaming/working PC. Trying.
You wanna know what really pisses me the fuck off? I'll tell you anyway: Fucking knuckle scrapers writing completely and utterly useless short 'reviews' about products I'm interested in. FUCKING HELL!
I see a nice mainboard, but the product description is missing some info, so as I am already on the site I look for useful info in the comments and ratings for the product first. Why the fuck do I do this every time? It's futile anyway. There are only a few few types of people there of which the rarest are the ones who actually try giving useful information like advantages and disadvantages of as well as their experience with the product.
Then there are these total cock knockers who piss me off the most:
"What's there to say? Good product"
I know, you fucking retarded, inbred pig! I figured as much on my own based on the ratings, so why the flying, cunting fuck do you litter the reviews with your stupid, fucking monkeyshine when you've got NOTHING remotely useful or interesting to say? Go fuck yourself with a golf club!
Then there are these propagandists who just have to tell the world they're fans of whatever product they're reviewing, but of course without naming actual reasons apart from that they're stupid sheep. You bought this, because you always buy this brand? You could just have said 'I'm a fucking idiot', that would have been shorter, fuckwit!
And those dumbasses who have no clue what they're even talking about, but obviously paid assloads of money for what they're 'reviewing'. Fucking shut up, just shut up, when mere writing is already such a massive cognitive overload for you. Pick your nose, as you're used to, and leave everything else to the grown ups.
And what about those fucking dimwits whose rating doesn't fit their review? Who in their right mind gives five stars along with a shit review, or a great review along with a shit rating? How have these fucking people even learned how to breathe without turning purple thrice a day?
I FUCKING hate hate idiots. Kill them all, kill them all, kill them all, KILL them ALL, FUCKING KILL THEM ALL!7 -
Business logic in the fricking database.
1000+ line SQL stored procedures.
What the actual fuck?! 👿10 -
Apparently working 80+ hour weeks for a year gets you "met expectations" in your review since "shit rolls down the hill".3
-
DevRant was just loading very slow because of bad mobile internet. I told my mum that this could be loading faster, because it's mainly text (= no large videos) that needs to be transferred. My mum answered:
"Your smartphone doesn't know that tho".
Looooong silence. Very looooong silence.3 -
It pisses me off that so many self-proclaimed programmers are fucking useless in debates, suck at utilizing logic and are awful at dialectics.
How in the holy fuck can you call yourself a programmer, but not even grasp the simplest of differences between a subjective and an objective argument? If you really cannot get yourself to understanding simple concepts likebthat your birth certificate must be the apology letter from a condom producer.
Read a fucking book and think before replying – at least to my fucking rants – or shut the fuck up and become a wood chopper.16 -
A logician comes back from paternity leave and enters his shared office.
His colleague: Hey! Congratulations with your newborn, is it a boy or a girl?
Logician: Yes.1 -
Nobody cares what the code does when it works. Everybody cares about it when it doesn't work. You just can't win. 😤3
-
I saw this code while searching in our QE repo... All our dev bay started laughing while I showed this... 😂😂😂😂
4 -
Tech support: we need to install backup software on your laptops.
Devs: what for?
TS: to backup all your important files, like word docs, excels, etc.
Devs: we don't use those. everything is on git/confluence/etc
TS: my boss told me to install it everywhere, so I have to do it.
Devs: well just disable it. uses too much tam, disk time and such
TS: whatever.
So he installed it on each laptop separately, took half a day, then we just disabled it and proceeded with our tasks. Now we get a question every other week why nothing is being synced from our computers. "We paid for the system and we want you to use it".
yeah..7 -
When your prof gives you 9/10 on your CS assignment because, instead of returning an int and doing a comparison, you do the comparison and return a boolean.
🤔😑 u serious man16 -
Past 3 years I've been working 1pm-9pm instead of usual 8am-4pm at our company, no issues, I'm the only developer on the projects I work on, tasks delivered always on time, meetings with PM always afternoon, etc.
Few months ago company hierarchy changed and the new operative manager started to harass me about this with made up reasons (not working 8 hour or not working at all) and he doesn't care about the fact that my projects might be the only ones at the company that never missed a deadline. He even turned some of my colleagues against me.
So now I'm thinking about to quit this job and go freelance or find a remote job. Am I doing it right?8 -
Never worked faster and more efficiently than the night before going on vacation... So... Vacation every day.1
-
NCIS Logic. Type "dir" and "find . ." Into full screen cmd and full forensics investigation complete.
8 -
Have you guys heard about blind coding?
I had been to competition, first round was quiz.
That was quite easy, though most of the questions were incomplete and didn't make any sense.
They have provided an app. We use that to check the result.
So first round is over, 1 hour later my friend called me asked whether I'm qualified for the next round . I checked the results and my name wasn't there. I was very disappointed.
I left that place after I saw my result. I got a bus which goes to my place.
After 10 minutes, I got a call from the event head asking why I didn't attend second round 😑. I asked why name wasn't there on the result, for which he replied with "database updatation error".
I got down in the next stop and took a bus again to that place.
I reached there, second round was started, First part was debugging. It was easy, I debugged the given program and got the desired output.
Second part was coding. A guy showed a problem to solve and told me to read it quickly . I did as he told.
He opened Dev C++ and gave me a paper to write the program .
When I was about to start typing, he turned off the monitor and told I should write it on paper first and type the program having monitor turned off. 😨
I wrote and typed the program without seeing.
After 30 minutes a college lecturer came to give marks. He told me to compile the program.
TBH, there were many typing mistakes. As header file spelling was wrong it showed only one error.
Him: Huh, cool only one error, well done. *noted that and walked to a guy next to me*14 -
How my lecturer drilled JS syntax into us:
Write this:
var x = document.element;
x.value = 10;
Instead of this:
document.element.value = 10;
His reasoning:
"You make the cake in the kitchen, you don't put icing on it on your way to present the cake"6 -
This was a fun thing that just happened:
I was sent a timed questionnaire by a potential employer for a software engineer job. I'm like okay, I will do it on Monday (today) because that is when I will have a free minute.
Well I sit down to do the thing and I had had a few beers, because the Ballmer Peak is real to me when I have to answer bullshit programming quizzes.
Well F me right in the A, it is a 38 question true or false logic quiz. And I am no longer a college kid trying to get into grad school so I have no patience for that crap, and apparently less with a little beer in me. Long story short, there was no comment section for me to rant in so I decided to go on YouTube and watch cat videos instead.3 -
Discussing a somewhat small and narrow website project with a customer. Then the customer asks me how I'm going to load balance it.
My initial thought was:
You mean how to loadbalance maximum 10 users??3 -
Was my prev dev fucking high or what?
Who names an UPDATE Query as delete.
That shitfuck deserves a special place in hell.
21 -
Reviewing bosses code and had these two if statements with no logic between
if (someVar) {
if (someVar) { // double check someVar is true just in case
}
}7 -
-Hi, my PlayStation’s storage is almost full? Can you change it?
Me: yes, but why not just buy an external one....
-We can’t add games on it.
Me: ... See here. Read. It’s possible. How much storage does the PS have now?
-93GB
Me: ... Total? 500 GB?
-Yes, I think.
Me: buy a 4 TB one will last long enough.
-Ok. Can you come to install it if it’s arrived?
Me: Ok...
Can’t people just read on fucking internet how to connect an external drive to a PlayStation??
I don’t understand... I’m a software guy not fucking hardware...11 -
The nerdiest way to say happy birthday to someone? Tell them to paste atob("SGFwcHkgQmlydGhkYXkh") in the chrome console/firebug.3
-
Today I have attended one Interview.
Interviewer asked me to write two programs. I wrote .
Even I wrote it correctly, he did not convinced.
He has his own logic in his mind, he told me my programs are wrong.
How can I write the logic in his mind?
Every one had their own logic.
Wrost day in my life , I waited for that interview 10 hours. I felt very sad.4 -
I fucking hate non-values like null, undefined, nil, etc., but mostly how they are implemented in PHP and Javacript.
// PHP:
$null_array = array(null);
array_shift( $null_array ); // returns null, okay
$empty_array = array();
array_shift( $empty_array ); // also returns null – why?!
This effectively means:
array_shift($empty_arr) === array_shift($null_array); // true, what in the actual fuck?
// JavaScript:
[].shift() === [null].shift(); // false, because [].shift() === undefined
But still, if not checking for strict equality:
[].shift() == [null].shift(); // true
Strictly following this logic, [][0] (JS) and $empty_array[0] (PHP) shouldn't throw any errors and instead return equivalent values, but it happens, anyway.
% Erlang:
hd([blah). % blah
hd([]). % throws exception
# Elixir:
hd [nil] # nil
hd [] # raises exception
-- Haskell:
head ["blah"] # "blah"
head [] -- another exception
At least I've learned a few things. I'll stick to functioal programming for the future, and PHP and JavaScript are not only fucked up, they are fucked up beyond all recognition. Programmers think logically, my ass.10 -
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed".
The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong".
The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
#ProgrammersLogic -
New client : we have performance issues, can you look why ?
I check the production server :
- Windows Server 2008
- IIS
- SQL Server express *facepalm*
- 80% of code is in stored procedures *double facepalm*
Me: Maybe you should buy sql server ?
*client don't seem to want to pay*
Me: :/4 -
$videos = Video::all();
foreach($videos as $result) {
...
}
WHY DONT U JUST CALL IT A FUCKING VIDEO?!?
function checkValue($value) {
If($value) {
return $value;
} else {
return NULL;
}
}
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?4 -
Learning about logic gates and how memory works, had to make a "D-latch" which is a flip-flop where the leds can never be on simultaneously.
Pretty cool stuff imo
https://imgur.com/a/MlfLy
(gif too big, sorry for the external source)2 -
"Coding is free dude, why are you charging me for that when I can just use Google to copy-paste code from there and there, boy.. think about it"
-- Typical Client6 -
So Apple, you're telling us developers that instead of using keyboard shortcuts, we're supposed to use the touch bar instead? Oh and also carry 20 adapters to do the same thing we could do with the 2015 MacBook Pro?
-
Refactored all the business logic from a screen to a controller. Finished at 10pm. Arrived at 10 am next day to find newly added biz logic to that same screen.
Jesus.fucking.Christ. -
Because fuck logic.
'This returns a lot of rows
myAdapter.SelectCommand.CommandText = "SELECT FROM tblNews order by DateAdd desc "
myAdapter.Fill(rs)
'He only wants the 4 latest articles
For index = 0 to 4
'Do something with the data
Next
How some people manage to still have a job is truly fucking amazing.4 -
i had a client that would rather buy me a plane ticket and a hotel night to give me a "CD" than send it to me, just because he wasnt able to upload it via mail.
The data was 230MB of excel files.
I ended uploading those files to my Dropbox using teamviewer.3 -
In Android O RAM statistics got moved to developer settings.
So this means you are a Dev if you know what ram is??6 -
Right so I have to subscribe for this website's spam to remove the already spammed inbox.
Fuck logic
4 -
I encouraged a bunch of my classmates to try learning how to code. Yesterday (Friday for me), one of them showed me a code they'd written (they were the only one that actually tried). What caught my eye:
bool function3(bool val) {
if (val == true) return true;
if (val == false) return false;
}5 -
So we had a class that should have 2 states 0 or 1, you think my coworker would be smart enough to represent it with a Boolean? NO!
Represent the state inside the object as an int then when using the object in a function creates a Boolean that determines the state of the object and after the function done it's job THEN call another function that takes the object and the Boolean and change the int state inside the object depending on the Boolean.
Wouldn't it have been whole lot easier to just you know..... Make the state a Boolean from the start.
When I saw this I knew I was witnessing a miracle of the human mind. God bless!
Ps: it wasn't connected to any kind of API nor server and there are never more than 2 states. It's just some local sequential code so don't assume it had a logical reason it's just a fuck up.5 -
Coming from Splunk to Sumo Logic, so far I haven't found anything I like about Sumo Logic. It's slow and constantly tries to limit you. Splunk is expensive but I can see why now.
-
Me: You provided the wrong credentials for AWS. That’s why it won’t work. Please provide updated ones using document I emailed you last month.
Client: I forgot how to do that. Will you be free tonight after 9pm?
Me:.....
Yes. This really just happened. No. I am not doing it unless they pay hourly. -
You can always tell if someone is a programmer by asking them:
Is zero equal to zero or equal to 1?
Non devs say 0, devs say 115 -
I like to use programmer logic in everyday conversations, especially with not programmers, like
They: would you like coffee or cake?
Me: yes
The real question is "would you like coffee xor cake?"4 -
Based on at least a dozen times I've read or heard 'very true' or 'so true' used by so-called programmers this week alone (not only on devRant), I propose that we make them Boolean values from now on.
Maybe that will show them how stupid it is to relativise binary choices as a programmer.
const IS_ACTIVE = kind_of;
const HAS_COMMENTS = maybe_i_dont_know;
Morons.12 -
*client comes to us "please take care of our app, it's ugly and the previous devs made it all buggy, especially the Android version"
*we write code, analyze bugs, fix them, QA them
*we deliver a preview
*client only looks at the iOS app, doesn't give a flying fuck to the Android app1 -
Normal Compilers : i guess you missed a semicolon in line 63
Special Compilers : You wrote wrong code, useless fella, I'm not your servant to tell you all the errors. Your mere existence is unnecessary and useless3 -
That feeling when you're working with production data and you get a cold feeling running down your spine, telling yourself: you could really fuck up now.3
-
Are junior developers expected to make business logic decisions? There's one that my boss wants to know my opinion of, and I'm thinking, "fuck, I don't know, why should I make that decision?" Or is that part of what developers have to learn?9
-
The most frustrating error is logic error. You see no warning or error message. It's just your program doesn't work as expected.
You spend hours inspecting your code, putting var_dump, console.error, print, whatever... in order to figure out what's wrong.
Yet, you still can't find out what's wrong. You decide to take a sleep. And you are waking up while having this uncomfortable feeling in your mind.
And since this is devrant, I'll insert some swearing here:
F*cking dammit node.js... what's wrong with your f*cking logic flow.... non-blocking you said, rotten deep in callback hell damnation you said....3 -
When a marketing / sales person says in a meeting with executives that our current infrastructure can handle 300.000 new customers easily. (We're at 90 ATM).
Mfw I'm the techie in the room and aware of our non-scaling mysql DB.
-
I know that you two guys don't get together well. Shall we(the management team) send you guys for some team bonding training sessions? Whatttt?? 🙄🙄🙄4
-
What's your programming victory ritual?
I start dancing like a caveman who discovered fire and battle rap all the bugs and logic errors into oblivion.3 -
Fuck
I have my first ever PRESENTATION ever tomorrow
And there will be at least 40 people shit.......
I have to explain the program logic in a very easy way, which is a pain for me.
Any cheers for me?22 -
Well, project budget has been cut for 2017, bc the progress is not showing fast enough. Well, fuck you. Now I will work only half the time, so progress will be even slower.4
-
Project Manager logic (the best kind).
PM: Here are a list of the tickets we need to address next.
Architect: Hang on, didn't X raise a number of critical bugs yesterday? They were serious, we need to fix the critical bugs first.
PM: ... but he marked them all as critical
(so that means they aren't an issue? cool, i've been doing this wrong all my life)2 -
Another gem from the cunt I used to call my senior.
.nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a { font-size: 7pt !important; line-height: 30px !important; font-weight: normal !important; }
.nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a { font-size: 6pt !important; }
.nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a, .nav-tabs > li > a { font-size: 7pt !important; }
These are all on the same level (not in media queries) and only a couple of other lines of css between them.
I swear this jackass just wanted to watch the world burn.7 -
So I was talking to my gf (a filosopher) about why I don't like a Cisco ad.
She sent me this, this morning. . .
Have you heard about it? Where can I learn more?
2 -
So we are building this website that basically allows customers to draw wardrobes(dragging and dropping). The clients wanted an image to be generated as well. So we used a screenshot plugin that basically extracts html and css of the drawing and generates a file. As the wardrobe gets complex(more html), it takes some time to save. So if the internet speed is slow, there are chances of failure.
Just last week they kept complaining that it keeps getting stuck, so we checked the problem multiple times to find that it worked fine and got a max time of 15s to save. So we had a video call with them.. Well they were frozen the entire time with 'trying to connect' issues! Now we know the cause after spending hours reproducing the issue. So the client kept telling us that our internet is fine. So she casts her screen switching preloaded tabs in her browser, claiming ''see, my internet is fine'' -
Did any of you hear Tim Cook's recent statement?
'Apple CEO Tim Cook says it is more important to learn how to code than it is to learn English as a second language.'
I mean, most of the code that I'd ever work on would be in English, no matter which country I'm living in. Most of the resources, documentation, tutorials are in English. Plus, if you think algorithmically, the logical code flow closely resembles constructs in English language. How could I possibly code without knowing English?
Go home Tim, you're drunk!
https://qz.com/1099791/...2 -
Please share the weirdest business logic you had to implement!
I remember having to filter certain categories and specific movies based on ID that were.. Well.. German porn.. Hardcoded Ids, not proud2 -
So we have a long weekend here (4 days) due to a national holiday, and I already spend 2.5/4 days coding for work, doing tasks for a sprint that didn't even start yet, just so when I go back to work, I can feel like I do nothing and still earn money1
-
sounds logic, ..does it?
git commit -m "session now holds 'null' as date if equals today. This way a 'today' is always possible, even if yesterday was today and today is now the tomorrow from yesterday"
original german git message: "session hält 'null' als date, wenn gleich heute. So ist ein 'heute' immer möglich, auch wenn gestern heute war und heute mittlerweile das morgen von gestern."
Who finds the startrek reference? -
After previous rant (https://lynkz.me/9xAFVZ9) he told me to be as close as possible to the design from the designer. There was on the left side a BarCode, which made no sense. So I didn’t add it. Now today (saturday) he told me I need to add the barcode because it looks classy. I told him we had a QR code already with same data. His anwser, yeah but it looks better with Barcode added too. Just f*** off! Your classy, shitty barcode will have a great price as it’s weekend. Thanks @linuxxx for the url shortner, it’s awesome!9
-
Clients that want to tell a programmer the logic flow of their program:
if x > y, "A" happens
if x < y, "B" happens
WHAT OF THEY ARE EQUAL?!?!?4 -
Have you ever wondered why !important is even working? Imagine this:
element {
color: #FF0000 !important;
}
It literally means the red color is NOT IMPORTANT. And this overwrites previous CSS rules such as in this example, previous element.color. Like seriously, where is the logic here? :D17 -
Have any of you noticed how bad the new Google login page is? They invented reCAPTCHA, yet they use the old one. Considering how easy it is to make a mistake in the captcha and have to retype the password, people could start making shorter passwords (<16 characters) and seriously lower the security level of their accounts.5
-
Built a quick mockup for a custom CRM as the client was unsure about the UX/UI and wanted to see something before going ahead, used an online tool for the example.
Client wasn't happy when they saw the overall breakdown of costs. They didn't want to pay as much because "most of it was already built"5 -
*Write code → run it → works.
*dont even touch that→ run it after few days → doesnt work..WHY?!?!?2 -
I'd rather be writing some logic and magic than sitting at a babies 1st birthday party. Damnit wife I want out!4
-
I got a call from a recruiter and told him I wasn't looking for a job. He told me he was ringing for clients who were looking for people who we well looked after in their jobs and not looking for work!
-
That moment when you start to use propositional logic in a conversation with normal people, but the others don't get what you are talking about.1
-
!rant
I'm astounded. I just took a crack at some PHP logic that would be easy for a lot of you but hard for my math-and-logic-challenged brain.
It worked.
The first time. -
Yesterday I had to register my new credit card with a national payment app (MobilePay) and it kept giving me error 32, which says "a technical error happened please try again"... Real fucking useful u peace of shit app 😠
Turns out, after a bit of research, that it will sometime crash if you language is not set to a european language. Guess what? I had mine set to English... English (US)... 😧
Like, what the fuck is that? Why would you check if a person might be from EU, be checking the language setting?
Get your shit together 😑3 -
when you start a project with "im gonna do this MVC thing correctly this time" then after a few days, weeks you realise everything is a controller
am i the only one?3 -
Reviewing and explaining 1 year old bad application logic to your client because he asked for it and now he can't remember how the application work.
-
When there is this important task you must finish, but the ones who wants you to complete it on time waste your time with pointless meetings.
-
Time it took me to write REST API and DB objects = 20 mins
Time it took me to to write a shitty Python 15-line script that parses a text file with regex's = 2 hours after I asked Stackoverflow
Don't even know what to say.4 -
When you said your Project Manager that you don't have experience with something: "ok, I will tell client that you can help them with that" :/
-
Company logic: "we need a new software manager for the program. This guy has worked on every piece of our product. Including as team lead of one of the teams. But wait he has never signed time cards. We better bring in this guy who has been in the company less than a year and is a known job shopper to do it instead."
Long story short, I am getting a new software manager that knows nothing about our product. Fun4 -
You have a job for 7 days and you will get paid with 1 piece of gold per day. Problem is there's a block of gold made up of 7 pieces, and there is a knife that can cut it only twice. How would you solve this problem? Making sure the employee has the right amount of gold every day!
There are no tricks in the question like buying a new knife or whatever. There is a unique mathematical solution. Go!10 -
So.... Every time I add some form of graph to a site and allow people to filter, I always get "your analytics are wrong".
99.9% of the time they just aren't as high as the client expects.... Anyone else get this?
It's so fucking irritating Jesus Christ. -
#OAuth logic: Lets make OAuth1.0 simpler for clients.. TADA.. OAuth2.0.. OAuth1.0 looks simpler now??!!
-
RIDDLE!!!
Find the right word and make sure it makes sense =D
"(blank) is hard. (blank) is even easier."7 -
You might not think that programmers are artists, but programming is an extremely creative profession. It's logic-based creativity.”2
-
I have a single WinForm class, stuffed with all the logic it needs. 11k fucking lines of fucking nightmare code!!!4
-
The hardest thing about writing code that works can be logic. For example, figuring out how to say you want to go to the next page when the form submit button is pressed, but not actually move to the next step is an error was thrown during processing.
This is one of those times when. I force a random member of my family to sit there and listen to me talking, pretty much to myself, until I figure it out. But hey, it generally turns out pretty good! (If not my energetic nephew)
4 -
Writing ! instead of ~ to make a true logic statement negative in Math exam.
Like: ~p=>q —–> !p=>q1 -
Worst: Shitty puzzles which have nothing to do with logic, progressive solution, etc. You either know them or you don't.3
-
Ohh god kill me!! Instructing to edit the project on the last hour is the biggest sin someone could ever commit!! Fuck clients.1
-
[FEATURE_REQUEST] Could we get a stat that shows how many consecutive days we've visited / opened DevRant?3
-
Write 5 pages full of relevant information for a 15 mark question in the Human computer interaction exam but the teacher chooses to give me 2 marks , why? Because I didn't write everything that was given in the words exactly ( I had written it in my own words) . Don't know whether today's engineers are supposed to know how to use their brains or whether they must just know how to copy paste some shit.5
-
Am currently developing an app which uses an IaaS named Auth0. Great experience so far, reasonable docs, unlimited users, social login, sso and support for about $29/m.
After an inquiry from a customer to provide MFA, I contacted Auth0 to see what it would take to use this feature.
"We only offer this in our Enterprise plan which starts at $18k/yr."
Well, fuck me with a pitchfork and call me Bridget the midget. I'll code it my goddamn self.1 -
So I have to accociate location address to the location which isn't created yet,
Plus locations can be added multiple at same time and address could be multiple of one location1 -
When someone ask me to pick between two things to eat using "or" I take both because it's true.
- "Popcorn or nachos"
- Both2 -
client: Your sh** page doesn't work, i haven't been able to do a single sale in hours...
me: have you tried to reload the page?
client: Of course i... oh wait, that was the problem, thanks anyways1 -
We're developers, we use our logic everywhere, we might be use our brains more than others, so I ask you:
Have you ever thought "I'm the smartest of my friends", if yes, what is or what do you think your IQ is?
(using the common deviation IQ)6 -
My client told me that she was not happy with her website because there were unnecessary boxes on one of the pages.
Me: Unnecessary boxes?
Her: Yes, at the bottom of the contract page.
Me: boxes... Boxes... Wait, did you mean the footer?
Her: Yes. They are not relevant. Please remove them.1 -
One of the things that you need to deal with when creating dashboards that deals with graphs - is to get the numbers right.
I don't like math, I don't like math!2 -
The moment when you don't understand the code, is the your head getting drilled with a screw in circular motion.
-
!rant
Aside from performance concerns.. which one would you prefer for an optional callback?:b
I always use B, but i'm kinda interested in what you guys say.
✌
9 -
Anyone from Service Based IT Companies.? How much it really sucks to convince everyone around you about the idea you want to implement, but it cannot because the client is not happy and if he is not happy the management is also not happy. Its like we are chained to the chairs and systems, not letting us look at the outside world, where elegant solutions exists for smiple problems.
-
Youjuat don't need an IDE for simple HTML and CSS .....i get irritated when someone burns the whole house to kill a rat.(IDE logic)7
-
The issue with working in a small company is that is that talking to operations is so fucking hard sometimes. How the fuck can you dispute the validity of a if true statement. If it's true it's fucking true.
1 -
> Facebook is shit
> Any tool developed by Facebook is gold (well most of them)
> Paarthurnax once said: "What is better ? To be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"
> Facebook is a dragon3 -
*Kill Logic.sh* when you are aproached online for a partime job while the same page shows you have a fulltime job.
-
It is better to write almost all of the logic used in the code as comments/documentation.
Trust me.
It is a good thing. It increases Code readability.
Nobody is going to copy your logic and get hired in a high paying job or get promoted for that reason. People will come to know about your wit and will appreciate you instead.3 -
Over complicated htaccess rewrites that dont work due to the client's business logic. I hate wasting time on something that should take 5 mins.
-
Client > requested scoreboard app
Me > Implementing full game logic to just output an Int 3x7x3 matrix
What's wrong with me? -
So I'm recreating my school's website so that instead of using Joomla we will now use static HTML and a bit of JS to load the posts (which are also just in plain HTML). I've decided to use bootstrap's navbar instead of menus on both sides for better mobile experience.
I tried to change the default colors from grey on white to white on dark red using external css. Changing background color worked fine, but the text did not want to change color. I had to download the sass files and include it in my main css. Then I could change the text color, but only through variables. The point is, Why did they make background easily changeable, but not the text? Where is consistency?6 -
I just don't get why CSS shorthands don't get to follow the X-Y pattern, such as margin 10px 5px, as 10px for width and 5px height. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THE INVERSE?
I don't use CSS very often, but when I do, I remember how stupid and nonsense that is.2 -
I love the logic that underlies algorithm. But nowadays I fear that this is almost disappeared, now programming a software is 5% logic and 95% read system specificactions, documentation, implement third part solutions, think about who developed the system thought it had to be and rant because you don't understand it. I like to solve math problems using algorithms rather than deal with user interactivity, for example. Yes, all this is pointless, but sometimes I miss the exercises that I did at school or in "IT Olympiad"
-
Ruby and its "simplicity" hurts me... Tried to make a if-statement checking if user is signed in... Well logic would say it's "if (user != signed_in)" right? Well logic don't apply in Ruby, in this realm you do "if (user_signed_in?)". As a logic programmer this bugs me...
Anyone relating?4 -
I've spent a day trying to figure out a code logic. Couldn't figure out why some codes that shouldn't be commented out are commented out.
Out of frustration, I went to see the user. She explained to me the logic behind it and I got it right away within 5 minutes.
Ask your user when in doubt and in trouble figuring out the logic. -
Client: I need to organize this data in my database, just let me create any folder, and folders inside folders. I mean, it is a database so you can create folders right?
Me: I'll see what I can do
Inner me: NO, F U, that's not easy, that's not how databases work, WTH is wrong with you4 -
I was talking to some post doc researchers today about a complex logic problem and a fresher interrupted and said, I think you can do that with objects... (The logic problem didn't depend on how the solution is modelled)
-
I find it very surprising that people at work are always reluctant to do code reviews. There are no standards in place and everyone is free to push whatever they want. There is Sonar but it doesn't catch bad logic. Don't know how are we going to deal with this technical debt.4
-
Not quite sure I followed the logic of the tech lead when he explained. I've never felt this "idk wtf in coding" feeling before.
-
If (true) {
// do else action instead
} else {
// fallback code
}
...no one else is in the pod, I "could" open a bottle, but I also have a deadline. X-o -
I really hate it when people make shit up and then try to justify it with crap like a+b=c so f must be true... facts bitch! facts and then check those facts. Then spend some time thinking about it , test it for yourself and check it again! Don't come to me with stupid shit or I'll make you look stupid in front of everyone.
-
!rant
Anyone else wonder how they got into the kind of the coding they're in?
Like, I wanted to make plugins for music software and DAWs and now I do front end web...
I don't even know what fucking language is used for something like that
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View