Are you this old?

Asked a boomer client to send their email Id. They sent it along with their password. Written on a piece if paper. Through their neighbor.

Programming is like cooking. In more ways than one.

Companies Mentality.

If an employee dies during working hours, companies be like "That's so unprofessional! did he just died without filling up the form and announcing to us?"

Windows 11 announced and real pain goes to #bluestack

Entire fucking world:
Shift + Enter == New Line

Spreadsheets:
Alt + Enter == New Line

Spreadsheets are America of digital world.

Most jobs are shit. Find a place where you like your coworkers and development practices. Most other things are secondary to your mental well-being.

CAPTCHA's dead for sure

Devs are my closest friends and I have learned so much from you all.

They ask some of the best questions, their skill set is ever evolving, they have the real problem solving mindset, they are critical towards any and everything in a good way, and so much more.

There was this thread asking what a bad Product Manager is and this answer takes the cake.

The point highlighted in red is the ultimate truth.

Devs are most innovative people of our times. Big shout-out to you all and thank you for making me who I am today :)

........

Perfect job is when sandbox and production api endpoints works the same.

Fuck all api endpoints where their sandbox works differently than the production.

Fuck all those error messages that appear only in production, despite faithfully following the documentations.

Fuck the gateways where their sandbox is more stable than the production.

Fuck the endpoints whose api parameters differ in what they accept between sandbox and production.

Fuck those manuals that does not document these diferrences.

Fuck those developers and support team who don't know how to support integrators. They don't even know how their apis work!

Now I am starting to understand the frustration of senior developers and their issues with management.

For the first two years of my career, I was a dev and a team lead, and all worked fine. In some situations, I did get frustrated and thought that was horrible.

But damn! Today I am having a 1 hour session at lunch time (said mandatory participation) with an "Atlassian Platinum Solutions Partner" on "Minimum Variable Bureaucracy".

I'm halfway down, and halfway dead. Just send me an email and I'm happy.

I'm telling you, the spider on the door frame to my office just now was THIS BIG.

I'm not ok. Not at all.

Java IDEs...

........

I’m privileged to work with hEaD oF eNginEeriNg.

If site == ISO:
from ISO import *
If site == ISO:
from ISO import *
If site == ISO:
from ISO import *
If site == ISO:
from ISO import *
If site == ISO:
from ISO import *
….

This repeats 11 times.

My friend sent me this and I don’t think I ever laughed harder at a dev joke.

Aussie people make everything funnier, idk why (if it’s a repost then sorry)

Yay, it's Monday!
And as Monday's go, there's a prod deployment, cool beans! 30 min later it's done!

So why the rant?

Because I'm on FUCKING ANNUAL LEAVE YOU BITCHES!!!!!

Fuck it, it's done, I'm going back to bed.

(New account because my main account is not anonymous)
Let's rant!

I'm 3 exams away from my CS degree, I've chosen to do some internship instead of another exam, thinking was a great idea.

Now I'm in this company, where I've never met anyone because of pandemic. A little overview:
- No git, we exchange files on whatsapp (spicy versioning)
- Ideas are foggy, so they ask for change even if I met their requirements, because from a day to another they change
- My thesis supervisor is not in the IT field, he understands nothing

The first (and only) task they gave me, was a web page to make request to their server, fetch data etc.
Two months passed trying to met their requests, there were a lot of dynamic content changin on the page, so I asked if I could use some rendering framework to make the code less shitty, no answers.
I continued doing shitty code in plain JS.

Another intern guy graduated, I've to mantain his code. This guy once asked me "Why have you created 8 js modules to accomplish the web page job?", I just answered saying that was my way of work, since we're on the same level in the company I didn't felt to explain things like usability, maintainability etc. it's like I've a bit of imposter syndrome, so I've never 100% sure that my knowledge is correct.
Now we came at the point where I've got his code to mantain, and guess what:
900 lines of JS module that does everything from rendering to fetching data..

I do my tasks on his code, then a bug arises so the "managers" ask him what's happened (why don't you ask to me that I'm mantaing is code!?!?), he fixes the bug nonetheless he finished his intership. So we had two copies of the same work, one with my job done and still with his bug, and another one without my work and without the bug.
I ask how to merge, and they send me the lines changed (the numeration was changed on my file ofc, remember: no git...)

Now we arrive today, after a month that they haven't assigned any task to me and they say:
"Ok, now let's re-do everything with this spicy fancy stunning frontend framework".
A very "indie" Framework that now I've to study to "translate" my work. A thing that could be avoided when I've asked for a framework, 2/3 MONTHS AGO.

Stakeholder wants some features. I had a good laugh when I see that he referenced onlyfans for these features.

We going down the porn route 🤑😎

so I typed "GIMP mask" on Google and uh

well

not what I was looking for

Based on a true story that happened right now.

Dad: "how do i download youtube videos?"

Me: "just google youtube downloader and download them from some site, thats how i do it"

Dad: "WHAT!!??? You want me to fucking google it? I dont know how to fucking google for those things, you're the IT guy and you should know how to do this, if I wanted to google it i wouldnt ask you for help. You know what, get the fuck out of my face i dont need ur help, get out"

Adding a feature to 18 000 undocumented lines of code, written in PL/SQL. Oh, did I mention it was just a single function?

The GIL sucks.

"Just use a non-GIL implementation!"

Which? The one stuck on 3.4 or the one stuck on 2.7?

"Just use multiprocessing!"

Just hit a nail in with a pile driver!

Thursday: Hey wife…. I finished my project and tomorrow I should have a very easy day, just watching Slack.

Friday: Database— corrupted bin logs, major production outages.

Wife: 😡I can never believe you when you say you’ll have an easy day.

It takes so much effort to put a quality video on YouTube.
1. Researching
2. Scripting
3. Recording ( screen record while doing the hands on of the topic, drawing concepts on whiteboard + voice over )
4. Editing
5. Thumbnail

Then upload.

Trying to reliably do Xamarin iOS development has sucked almost all the fun out of software development for me over the last four weeks.

Xamarin Android? Minor hiccups but mostly smooth sailing.

Xamarin iOS? 5th level of development Hell.

The Windows 11 keynote was such a load of bullshit. All the emo yadda yadda. You know, when I work on Windows, what I feel is irritation, anger, and despise for the amateur shitshow that Microsoft delivers.

In particular, but not limited to the fucking update reboots where Windows sits there uselessly and shells fucking prawns in its own ass!

Oh we now have semi-transparent shit. That's progress! It's so great! Only that it's not because already Windows Vista had Aero Glass, and Windows 8 removed it.

But we we have fucking rounded corners now! Crazy shit, some intern at Microsoft discovered border-radius, or did they dig out some fucking Windows XP copy? That also had rounded corners way before Apple even invented them!

To top it off, Microsoft even failed to deliver the livestream seamlessly and recommended watching it at Twitter. Yeah, that's the fucking "Windows experience" as we know it, you clowns!

My favourite BS quote from Nadella himself: "the web itself was born and grew up on Windows." That guy is so full of shit that an unmaintained latrine in rural India would be envious!

I am backend + a bit devops
8 months I worked with front-end person in react.

8 months he was telling me.. git usage is not needed for front. There is no need for that, it is not like back.
Recently he made refactorization in a week time, this idiot did not do even single commit in the process.

4 months he was telling me, testing is not needed in front. Even if the work is complete, there is no point to cover with testing.

Today I heard from him, adaptive web design is impossible to do in css only, it needs having javascript to control right height and width size for elements.

At last. I got freed from him. He got fired.

IS IT ME OR YOU GUYS FELL THE SAME ?