"You're gonna lose. BUG TIME"

There is NOTHING more satisfying than having an algorithm suddenly click while you are in the shower.

I got a program for determining Prime Numbers using Extended Euclid Algorithm from ~2 to .28 seconds <3

I am feeling nerdier than ever.

Today is:
- PI day
- Einstein birthday
- Stephen Hawking died today
- My birthday

Got call from extremely angry customer, our product is shit and doesn't work. At all. Important customer so I went to visit.

He had the perfect setup, our product to the left, our competitor's to the right.

He connected the Ethernet cable to their product, it worked. He plugged it out and connected to ours... Nothing. Shit.

I started to debug on the premises, took logs, everything. It seemed like our product didn't receive any data at all. What the fuck? Tried everything, debugged low level, still nothing. Sweating as hell.

After two hours I got a strange feeling. So I swapped place, our product to the right, competitor's to the left. Now OUR product worked, competitor's zilch.

THE FUCKING ETHERNET CABLE HAD A GLITCH. IF YOU BENT IT TO THE RIGHT IT WORKED, IF YOU BENT IT TO THE LEFT IT WAS BROKEN.

I had never seen a customer be this embarrassed in my life. He apologized to me, my boss, his boss, the Queen, everyone.

We got the contract.

It's disheartening to see a senior member of my team shitting on the code of less mature developers. Don't just say "this is unacceptable", elaborate, teach them. How are they going to action anything from that feedback?

Take the time to respond to their questions when they ask for clarification on what you're saying. Don't berate them.

Honestly some developers need to learn a thing or two about code etiquette.

There's no room for good cop / bad cop behaviour.

Go home grafana, you're drunk....

Maybe I shouldn't run 50 containers on a system with 2 cores and 6 GB RAM.

!rant

*walks into university library*

*sits down at a computer 😶*

*looks around to see if anyone is looking 🙄*

*takes out laptop*

*unplugs ethernet from school computer and plugs into laptop 😯*

*50MB/s DOWNLOAD SPEEDS 😎😎*

Damn!
Sometimes I just wonder about the level of customization you get at Linux. You can't even imagine a desktop that looks like this on Windows.

Me after fixing the bugs by putting 'throws Exception' in the main function.

Frontend is as hard as backend

An appreciation post for every single frontend developer out here who can bear customer, project managers and designers nagging

You guys deserve a gold medal

Fucking tutorials that simply skip thing completely.

Like how the fuck am I supposed to know how to run that that shit when you don't even mention how to build it and jump straight to the fucking debugging section.

Fucking hell, relate yourself to the people who'll read your shit, you non empathetic scum

My employer gives me a mission to complete in our project using plain js.
*Uses 30 hours of working time completing the mission using custom js elements*
*Presents the results proudly to the employer*
*Realizes Microsoft edge doesn't support custom elements*

Every single time!

You're a bit too junior we need someone with a bit more experience.

Job was listed as junior/apprentice dev.

Guy called in because he wanted to get an IP white listed on a server. He wasn't authorized so i told him to send an email from an authorized email address.

He didn't like that very much and asked if another engineer was available (he talked to him more often so he thought that engineer would just do it. We need those kind of requests by email.)

Walked over to my colleague and explained what that client asked for.
'let him send an email!'

Told him i ready told the client that but that the client wanted to talk to him instead.

'sure, connect him through and then come back so you can hear him after i ask him to mail us!'

Connected him through. Client explained the situation.

Then he says with the sweetest voice and a 'get rekt' face: 'could you send me an email about that? 😊'

Let's just say that the client sounded everything but happy xD

Interviewer: Who created JavaScript?
Me: ... Seriously?
Interviewer: Completely

WTF? First time I face that kind of question in an interview... For the record, I didn't know the answer, according to Wikipedia Brendan Eich created JS

Does anyone else love their job? I never thought I would say this but I love Mondays and the work I do in general. I just wish I had more hours in the day.

To all newbie developers,

Before you ask a doubt about an issue to someone else,

Try doing an initial investigation to find the root cause,
Look into the logs,
Find the stack trace,
Google things,
Have breakpoints and try to debug.

You come to me with a weird NullPointerException and ask me why,
Without even looking into the logs once? We ain't God bro.

I never did and do unit tests.
Am I really living too risky?

Me: would you like me to design the website as well?
Client: no, we have a web designer. you just have to implement it.
Me: *receives the design, made with powerpoint* 😐

When you compile and it runs but who cares how it runs

I'm the sole developer at work.

Literally the entire company, save myself, is sales people. (We have one remote mobile contractor as well, but he only does mobile; I'm responsible for everything else.)

I inherited a gigantic pile of nightmare from the previous "senior-level intern" solitary dev/CTO, and I'm still trying to figure out the bulk of it, meaning everything takes longer.

Anyway, we have a meeting roughly once a week, and during each of these -- and several times throughout each week -- the salespeople say things like "We should address this" or "This should be our top focus" or "We really need ___ so I can sell more merchants" or "___ doesn't work right; we should fix it." All of these "we"'s and "our"'s, of course, mean me.

So, today, I decided I'd make a list of everything I have to do, and their general size. Assuming large projects will take one month, medium projects will take one week, and small projects will take one day... I have four months, two weeks, and four days of work ahead of me. (yet I know one of those large projects will take at least two months...)

Make it stop ;;

My computer literally brightens up whenever I close Android Studio

Forgot to turn wifi on when watching Twitch on phone...

For those of you who are having interviews ... remember this

My code is not working correctly but there are 0 errors on the console.

Hmmmmmmmmmm😑😑😑😑😑😑

Browsing other social media after devRant and trying to find a technical relation... I'm like

I've of my best friends and coworker told me today that he will leave the company to move to his girlfriend.
Sad but understandable... 😐

You know your project is successful when other people lose their job because they were made redundant by your project. A project that I ended up not being proud of.

When I joined this MNC back in '96 there were a lot of duplicate work happening. Staff from other countries would enter information in Excel, print it, then fax it to HQ where the 12 staff there (3 shifts, 4 staff per shift) splits the pages among themselves and enters the info into the system. A few months in I implemented something I did for my school project ( https://devrant.com/rants/783197/... ) - a lite version where staff from other countries could enter the info and send them to the BBS located at the HQ. Management said they like it and asked me to deploy, telling the 12 staff that they will be moved to a different role.

I spent the next 30weeks travelling, deploying and training. At the same time I was trying learn to learn how to do automated installs using Rar for DOS and their SFX module (I think it was v2) onto 1.44Mb disks so that we can ship them to the rest of the countries and anyone can do the deployment, then train them via PC Anywhere.
When I came back to HQ all but 1 of the staff were gone. I finished the automated installs and documentation then left the company after 3months. Needless to say I made more than a few enemies there. Oh and they managed to deploy to the rest of the countries using my packaged installers

I was newly hired to company. A customer came in yelling saying "there's a bug, this should do this but it's doing that..."
PM came to me and told me to "urgently fix this as this is an important customer".

So I started debugging for hours and asking around and all follow devs agreed that this is a bug. Then I found it!! And it was clear that it was not doing what the customer wanted.

I decided to look through this code history and found out that this part of the code wasn't changed for a year but the code commited before it did actually what the customer was expecting (whaaaa....)

Gathered the devs and the PM showing them what I found. They all looked at each other and then one said "ouuhhh right...yes it was doing this but we changed it to that..."

Turns out it's a feature not a bug, and everyone forgot about it.

FML