Details
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AboutLearner. Developer.
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SkillsJava, mongodb, nodejs,
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 8/22/2018
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Why the fucking fuck is it so damn hard for me to draw a fucking curly bracket?!
All my sad attempts at it look like a 3 that was exposed to lethal amounts of nuclear radiation3 -
I just finished a meeting that had also been an email. You know how it went: boss just reading the email out loud1
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Someone, I have no idea who, commented on my personal project that he wanted to pick up one of the issues.
Then, he followed through and fixed it and sent a PR.
Feels good man.4 -
"Plz create these new users, thanks"
Plz suck my nuts and click on the fucking "new" button yourself5 -
"Do you have enough bandwidth?"
"No."
*Passes me another project
Whats the entire point of asking in the first place?2 -
A co-worker shared his wisdom with me today:
"It's okay for your job to be the side quest of your story, just don't forget the main quest"
And I'm left thinking, that's deep as shit, but if my track record in Skyrim is anyting to go by I'm fucked.
At least the easter holidays are coming up. Back to the main quest :D1 -
Agile is a fancy word for we, the top Dawgs can change the requirements at any time and you dev peasants will have to deal with it.5
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That moment when you decide to look why Vim's regex rules are a bit inconsistent and find out this program has a setting called "very magic".
Today is a good day.4 -
"I keep complaining to you guys every day about this bug and nothing happens!"
Firstly, it ain't a bug. Secondly, you're not complaining, you're whining. Thirdly, complaining is a bloody limited resource. If you do it once a year, everyone's going to sit up and take notice. If you do it daily, it's just "Duncan having another moan", and the only thing anyone will do is play "what time of day will Duncan rant" sweepstakes. -
One of those days where you're sitting in a customer meeting and you hear them talk and:
"I know that was all in English but nothing you said makes any sense based on what I know about your software, business processes, time, space ... anything in this universe" -
Manager: so how long will feature A take?
Me: about a week.
Manager: and feature B?
Me: also a week.
Manager: how about C?
Me: another week
Manager: great! then we can finish the project in a week!
THAT'S NOT HOW MATH WORKS9 -
After months of studying dynamic programming, I can finally say with confidence that I UNDERSTAND NOTHING.7
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Me (to Google): I need *this* WITHOUT *that*
Google: Okay, so you need *this* WITH *that* gotcha.
*SEO guy laughing at my misery*3 -
Marketing: so we want it to behave like this website, so it'll have to have feature A, B, C and D.
Me: okay that might take a day or two.
Marketing: what? can't you just copy-paste the code from that website?8 -
The bad thing today: I killed my laptop with coffee.
The good thing today: it was my company laptop, not my private one.17