for fucks sake

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

- Sir, you must put away your laptop before the flight takes off.
- Is a tablet okay?
- Yes
- *Uncouples keyboard from Surface*
- ಠ_ಠ
- (⌐■_■)

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃＼○／
┓┏┓┏┓┃ / Friday
┛┗┛┗┛┃ノ)
┓┏┓┏┓┃ Deploys
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┃┃┃┃┃┃
┻┻┻┻┻┻

Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

alias cd..="cd .."

Who does this?!

The S in IoT stands for security.

Elon Musk is a meme magnet

My dad found a phone a few weeks ago and asked me what he should do with it. Knowing how much it hurts to lose personal data, I said I could try to find the owner and send it back.

My first attempt was to search through the files on the SD card in order to find an identifying document (CV, bill, address...) but there were only family pictures.

My second attempt was to unlock the phone and check the information about the owner and the accounts linked to it. But for this to be possible adb has to be enabled. Good thing is that that particular brand shows an option for activating adb on the recovery menu.

But then, it's Android Oreo and I haven't found a way to lift the lock pattern. I thought I could bruteforce it over the shell (as I found there could be about 1300 possibilities for 2 to 5 point patterns), but there is the same attempt throttling as on the screen so that would take ages.

Finally, I found the owner in the most "social" way : The phone was displaying the weather for a particular place. It turns out that there are only 3K inhabitants in that city, si I thought that a big enough Facebook group might help me find the owner. So I posted a message on a 500 people FB group dedicated to this city with a selfie of the owner : someone identified her within 20 minutes.

Mission accomplished 😎

O(FUCK)

Award winning repo

Sometimes the answer is just ... savage.

This 'friendly' message looks like it's trying to kill me if I don't pay my bill

"Let me review your code, I used to work as a toilet cleaner"

Freefilesyncs installer made my day.

Buying a book on PHP? You might also want these...

My boss: Write unit tests for this angular app
Also my boss: what do you mean it will take months to write the necessary mocks for our 177 specs
Also also my boss: why would you need to mock anything for a unit test
Also also also my boss: Just let each component import all the other real components, nevermind that that's an integration test and not a unit test

Our team just got the best email from our client hahaha

Portugal in August: heatwave coming from Africa

Portugal in October: polar wind coming from Iceland

I find the whatsmydns.net website very useful. Too bad that they don't have an api so that I could use it with the commandline 😥

A few hours of analyzing and programming further I 'reverse engineered' the website and wrote a CLI tool which works perfectly fine!

Even though things like these are simple, they always make me feel like I'm a tiny God of sorts 😊

10/10 marketing, tbh

Best error message ever seen

This meme requires you to be outside of the European Union to view.

How about no?

Fuck you.

Windows😂
PC : I found this picture on Facebook.

MRW one of my answers get accepted on Stack Overflow.

src: Twitter

This statement :