Details
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AboutComputer science student trying to keep his passion of programming alive. It's been hard.
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SkillsI have no idea what I like anymore
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LocationBrazil
Joined devRant on 12/12/2019
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So today our CFO stepped into IT and angrily proclaimed someone using tech@ e-mail and fake name is defrauding company funds buying themselves... "used female lingerie with extra virgin juice" (sic!).
I work for an IPSP, we handle finance for commercial services (think PayPal but smaller). One of our clients is a big platform where girls can sell items like bath water, used socks and more. CFO demanded our admins found out who and when connected to that website, what URLs and so on.
As mentioned, said platform is pretty big, hence, from time to time we help them with their service when they ask us to, that's why we have a tech@ account. Last month there was a minor issue with one of the banks, someone fixed it and, as per usual, made a small payment of €1 topping up the account wallet to make sure everything works. It was an intern whose will to live is still strong and unencumbered with experience so she jokingly wrote "panties juice, extra virgin" in the payment note. What she *didn't know*, however, is that admins on that platform used the very same account to test new billing system they've implemented and our CFO received an invoice.9 -
User: There’s a bug in the app
Dev: How do I reproduce it?
User: I don’t want it reproduced, I want it fixed!
Dev: …7 -
3 hours of interview end up asking me
“Are you Chinese”
“Why don’t you look and sound Chinese”
“We only hire Chinese speaking candidate”
After told them that I withdraw my application as they only hire “Chinese speaking candidate” , they started to yell “you not professional , you waste time , I will ban you for life, you quick quick go away.”
So I ended up telling people not to join that company.32 -
User: *Clicks on staging environment*
Giant Warning Dialog: YOU ARE CURRENTLY ENTERING THE STAGING ENVIRONMENT
Users: Ok
App: *Completely different colour, I’m talking bright unsightly yellow*
User: Ok
Giant Yellow and Red Flashing Banner at the Top of the Screen: WARNING YOU ARE CURRENTLY USING STAGING, THIS AREA IS FOR TESTING ONLY
User: The production environment sure is acting strange today. It’s a weird colour and I don’t recognize any of the data, it’s all just dummy filler data. I better create a ticket for the dev team to check o—….. no wait I’ll send an email CC everyone including the CEO and sound the alarm production is currently down and filled with giant warning messages.
Manager: OH MY GOD PRODUCTION IS DOWN DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS??? WHAT THE FUCK COULD THESE WARNING MESSAGES BE THAT’S ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ON STAGING! THE CEO IS BREATHING DOWN MY NECK YOU NEED TO GET THIS FIXED IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!
Dev: …13 -
I have spent 20 minutes explaining to a contractor how to stage a file in git and what a filepath is.
It's moments like this where I stop worrying about my job security9 -
Really just an average week.
Just feel I need a bit of venting. (:
@meet: (monday)
- mgr: we need video transcoding and VOD ASAP.
- dev: on what server? It's expensive, especially without a GPU.
- mgr: prod is beefy. Put it there.
- dev: everything else is gonna crawl then.
- mgr: you have till the end of this week.
@demo (Friday)
- dev: k, it's ready.
- mgr: Why is everything slow??!
- dev: transcoding. Expensive.
- mgr: Why do we transcode? Never said I wanted transcode!
Can't we upload to YT?
- dev: ...yes. But will then each customer that wants VOD will need to setup YT studio and provide an endpoint and stream key.
- mgr: OK. But we're now behind schedule because of this and the customers will not be pleased.
- dev: oh, didn't know we're into gaming.
- mgr: ???
- dev: nvm, see you Monday.
...
Later Friday evening
...
*ding* mgr has added 5 new tasks to your list.
*ding* mgr subtracted 30 points from you.
reason: deadline over due.
Ya ya, the usual shenanigans.
Time to mute for the weekend.14 -
> One of my guys from work.
> Walks up to my office
> Says "say something cursed about software development or programming that would make people cry"
> Me: "If I could I would program games and neural networks with PHP"
> Him: .......you fucking monster.
> Walks away
For reference: We both like php, but know and understand why that is a baaaaad idea.8 -
At a previous job, we had a CTO and in a meeting of all the department heads, we all realized we have a CTO that knows about as much about tech as the pigeons do.
I’d always seen the confused emoji, I however never knew an actual human being could look like it, I’ve seen confused people, but on this day I saw a living 🤔…
How did I manage to achieve this result, I told him you can’t copy AngularJS code into a Flutter project, I then proceeded to tell him you also cannot copy it into a react project. I think I broke his brain.
Oh and yes, I worked at a development house, all the department heads were developers except for the QA head.2 -
Cheap computer, Broken AC, Fresh coat of off-white/grey paint, Torn chair with ciggy burns in it, non-adjustable cubicle desk that is wayyyy too high, people from unrelated departments popping by every 15mins to give me an update I didn’t ask for on their inconsequential lives or their opinion on whatever the fuck is the biggest trending hashtag right now.
May I never go back into the office again.
#thoughtsandprayers4 -
Not sure how to handle this one. My new company gave me a surface laptop to do dev ops work.
16 gigs of Ram but only a 256 SSD?
Nothing is installed so far except for MS office and acrobat and I am already running into memory issues.
My last work machine had 1TB HDD and 128 gigs of RAM (i know overkill but I could have several VM’s up and running at once).
What the fuck? Apparently the CTO ordered this piece of shit.
Also no mirco SD card like other models so I have no idea how this is going to fucking work.15 -
Fucking hate sites with great SEO but shitty user experience like Quora. Top of Google but requires a login or else it's locked down like some university cheat site.
Fuck your low quality answers hidden behind a useless blurry paywall. You're a glorified Q&A. Go fuck yourself27 -
I’m trying to add digit separators to a few amount fields. There’s actually three tickets to do this in various places, and I’m working on the last of them.
I had a nightmare debugging session earlier where literally everything would 404 unless I navigated through the site in a very roundabout way. I never did figure out the cause, but I found a viable workaround. Basically: the house doesn’t exist if you use the front door, but it’s fine if you go through the garden gate, around the back, and crawl in through the side window. After hours of debugging I eventually discovered that if I unlocked the front door with a different key, everything was fine… but nobody else has this problem?
Whatever.
Onto the problem at hand!
I’m trying to add digit separators to some values. I found a way to navigate to the page in question (more difficult than it sounds), and … I don’t know what view is rendering the page. Or what controller. Or how it generates its text.
The URL is encrypted, so I get no clues there. (Which was lead dev’s solution to having scrapeable IDs instead of just, you know, fixing them). The encryption also happens in middleware, so it’s a nightmare to work through. And it’s by the lead dev, so the code is fucking atrocious.
The view… could be one of many, and I don’t even know where they are. Or what layout. Or what partials go into building it.
All of the text on the page are “resources” — think named translations that support plus nested macros. I don’t know their names, and the bits of text I can search for are used fucking everywhere. “Confirmation number” (the most unique of them) turns up 79 matches. “Fee” showed up in 8310 places before my editor gave up looking. Really.
The table displaying the data, which is what I actually care about, isn’t built in JS or markup, but is likely a resource that goes through heavy processing. It gets generated in a controller somewhere (I don’t know the resource name so I can’t find it), and passed through several layers of “dynamic form” abstraction, eventually turned into markup, and rendered as a partial template. At least, that’s how it worked in the previous ticket. I found a resource that looks right, and there’s only the one. I found the nested macros it uses for the amount and total, and added the separators there… only to find that it doesn’t work.
Fucking dead end.
And i have absolutely nothing else to go on.
Page title? “Show”
URL? /~LiolV8N8KrIgaozEgLv93s…
Text? All from macros with unknown names. Can’t really search for it without considerable effort.
Table? Doesn’t work.
Text in the table? doesn’t turn up anything new.
Legal agreement? There are multiple, used in many places, generates them dynamically via (of course) resources, and even looking through the method usages, doesn’t narrow it down very much.
Just.
What the fuck?
Why does this need to be so fucking complicated?
And what genius decided “$100000.00” doesn’t need separators? Right, the lot of them because separators aren’t used ANYWHERE but in code I authored. Like, really? This is fintech. You’d think they would be ubiquitous.
And the sheer amount of abstraction?
Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid.11 -
Why does the idea of having to develop social skills somehow seem to scare the fuck out of a large portion of you?
Is being a likeable human being such a weird concept? What do you expect? To people just validate your entire existence based on how good you can sit in front of a set of monitors and push code out? Thousands of monkeys can do that shit. Thousands of systems will eventually do such things.
for whatever reason the "I am a fucking asshole that can code" trope seems to be a "real thing" amongst developers. A mfker can know waaaaaaay less than you, have the same credentials (degrees etc) and will get the job because you were too busy building an online persona governing how better you are than everyone else. How "quirky" and Sheldon Cooper like you are. You think that makes you likeable? "i don't need to be likeable" <---- yes the fuck you are, because this shit is something in which people can be trained upon.
A team, regardless of how much you agree with this, can choose a person solely based on how well he/she/whatever clicks with them. You might be the end all be all of development, but if they don't like you or feel you will not be someone worthwile to be around, will not chose you. They will go with the charismatic newbie that can learn the same shit you so dear hold on to, because they are likeable.
Sticking to a merit based "I am the best there is" asshole mentality is a thing of the fucking past, boomer mentality. For which newer generations are parting ways with, with still profitable results. workable results. Production ready results.
Yet you chose to stick to a "I might be a quirky annoying fuck, but I am the best" mentality?
This is why you were bullied. This is why you can't get any dick, this is why you can't get any pussy, this is why you sit your ass in your little dark room trying to convince yourself that being lonely is a choice, not a situation in which you put your ass in. This is why I also dislike developers online.
Most of you might be the nicest mfkers on the planet when dealing with on a face to face basis, but if you put this shit on a screen for the world to see you will be viewed upon as some dickhead.
Fuck this "code is my life" mentality, shit is but a paycheck, a craft is not a glimpse into what you are as a person, but a way in which you make a paycheck. Molding your personality, based on what you do for a living, really?
Damn man, shit is just so fucking sad. So cringeworthy even.42 -
Until today, I haven’t worked on a react app or front end project in about 5 months.
Hoooo boy. What a fucking rollercoaster ride. One minute you’re doing some slick shit you learned how to do from working on backend projects, the next you’re screaming at your linter and pissing on your keyboard.
2/5 stars do not recommend.
I’m out.
*ascends into the cloud*8 -
I used to kill some time reading devrant some years ago and I just stopped because most rants were basically whinny little teenagers that think they know everything, keepers of knowledge and truth, being clearly crying babies about “ boo-hooo my coworker is not using the language I like” or something they clearly still have a lot to learn about.
Grow the fuck up. I guarantee you that when you have a few more years of experience you’ll realize how little you knew and how great you thought you were when in reality you knew shit.
Hell, I’m on my 16th year of programming experience and what o thought I knew last year had so many knowledge gaps.
Friendly advise, be more humble. You know shit. Get off your high horse and consider for a second you’re not as smart you think you are.
With that said, there are some really good rants here. But it didn’t change much from years ago.10 -
anyone ever try to create a self training two ai using a nn to play pong against each other ?
like what would happen ?
there is definately a cutoff point, everytime the other user scores.
on another note getting laid would make me feel better right now.11 -
Dev submitting PR: “Testing instructions: Self explanatory”
Dev reviewing PR: You need to be a bit more verbose than that.
Dev submitting PR: “Testing instruction: Feature should work as expected”
Dev reviewing PR: *sigh*… Feature doesn’t work as expected
Dev submitting PR: WHAT IS NOT WORKING AS EXPECTED??? I NEED MORE DETAIL THAN THAT!!
Dev reviewing PR: …….So do I you muppet5 -
laravel is a very serious framework
there is a laravel this for every that
I have to deal with npm too? impressive
was looking for a simple to learn framework just to take my mind of js and someone recommended laravel.6 -
They say you can have work that is good, fast, and cheap, but you can only pick two.
Well now you can have a job that pays ok, is fully remote, and is meaningful, but you can only pick two.
Of course many times we get work that does not satisfy two of the three and there are many jobs that don’t satisfy any of those three. But I’m just saying if you are in a position to have some choices about your job.9 -
I really hate this disgrace of a burnout.
Seriously.
Who can live with this thing crippling your energy?
This guy that comes to a ride but you only realize after 3 hours driving.
You came this time? When I fucking need to do hundreds of things on my life and for my clients?
Now I gonna spent my fucking MONEY and my fucking TIME to make this sucker less present.
Because doctors aren't cheap, nor changing my diet.
At least I can handle my clients. And tell them that some personal things came up.
But family?
They don't give a shit.
Specially when you are a guy that they love to tell you to work a 'regular' 9 to 5 but love even more your salary. Because you don't work a regular 9 to 5 job!
And I think that's more messed up.
Don't having a fucking support is frustrating. -
Me: tells computer to restart
Linux: immediately boots down and started back up
Windows: CaNnOt ReStArT bEcAuSe BaCkGrOuNd SyNc Is RuNnInG7 -
Microsoft: Here's are simple to use Office suite which works offline and online with powerful features.
Google: Our suite is FREE. FREE. FREE. It's shitty, broken, and works only online.
If you want to use it offline, you can go fuck yourself. But hey! It's free.20 -
I'm gonna decline the next time someone asks me "hop in chat with them" to discuss their stackoverflow problem.
I'd already given my two cents about the problem in question and I thought something was unclear about that so I say okay what the hell, made a chat room and invited him in.
Him: So I have this OTHER problem with [insert JS plugin]
Me: ... I don't know enough about it. I've used that specific plugin maybe once. The question I offered you my help with was PHP.
Him: Yeah but can you take a look really quick?
Me: I'd have to reread the documentation. I literally don't remember how to use it.
Him: No problem, here's the documentation. I want to do X, Y and Z.
Me: I don't think you can X without doing A and B first.
Him: I was told not to do A, so how can I do X, Y and Z?
Fucking hell I'm not gonna do your job for you. You know english. There is documentation available. Just read it and at least try things.2 -
Fun fact!
Xiaomi has a restriction where you're only allowed a bootloader unlock key one week after you've requested it. No, not a week after you've bought the phone. Not a week after you created an account and generated so much usage data that it would be stupid to doubt you're a genuine user.
No, you have to wait one week after installing their fucking desktop app and getting past some arbitrary point in the process.
Seriously, how much shit can this company pull with a straight face? At this point they're just sabotaging me, it's not even for any reason.16