Aboutpassionate about new web technologies and AI, always learning.
Joined devRant on 3/20/2017
Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple APILearn More
~During app demo to our client~
- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙13
*In a team meeting*
Me: *happily jotting down notes in markdown*
Other guy: "Dude what are you doing? Pay attention."
Me: "Umm... I'm taking notes?"
Other guy: "But why does your MS Word have black background?"
Me (a bit lost): "Umm... That's not Word. That's my text editor."
Other guy: "Alright... But how do you convert your notes into Word then?"
Me: "... I don't."
Other guy: *stares at me*
Me: * stare back*
It was a nice conversation.17
Yet another commercial seminar upset I won't give up a day of my time to fly to the UK to speak at the event for no payment or reimbursement for my travel.
But of course I should think about the exposure and networking opportunities! 😕8
*Mom shows me laptop ad of 3000 bucks with the most overkill specs ever*
Mom: "Son, will this laptop run Google?"
Me: "Do you want to surf Google or actually run Google's server?"
Mom: *looks confused*
"I also want to use Fesabook on it"
Me: *brings her a 5 year old laptop with a new ssd in it*
*has an old i3, 8gb ram and no gpu*
Mom: "This laptop is super fast! Thanks son!"
*One hour later*
"Son, I think the laptop broke"
Me: "What? What happened?"
Mom: "I pressed a button and now all the keys are lighting red" (backlit keyboard)
Me: "You can choose the color of your keyboard mom"
Mom: "Ooh! How do I make it pink?"
Me: "You can only choose between red and blue..."
Mom: "What a ripoff"
*Hangs up the phone*35
Sister: today I discovered two new libraries
Me: what lang?
She was talking about real libraries xD4
It happened! It finally happened.
I got to use the XOR operator today, for the first time in my 10 years of development.
Now I feel complete. I am senior developer now!9
Me : "Hey, I can't find the comments.js file, do you know where it is stored?"
Co-worker : "Yep, look in the CSS folder"
Me : "OK, thanks!"
5 seconds later..
Me : "Wait, what?"9
My current project at work: purchase verification, aka anti-fraud.
It's been two weeks, and my boss is flipping out because it isn't done. A robust anti-fraud solution. in two weeks. And he thought one week was a little much.
like, fucking really?
There are companies whose entire service is helping combat fraud. and he wants this done in a bloody week?
What makes me laugh through my tears of frustration is that the company that moved into the previous office? Yep, anti-fraud. Their entire business model is providing anti-fraud services to other businesses. They even tried selling him on it when they moved in. Bossman sales guy turned it around and sold my freaking desk out from under me instead.
But like. They're a small company: they had 9 people when they moved in, and were looking to add three more, so a total of 12 people. (I totally considered jumping ship, but their stack was too different.)
So. Bossman wants me to replace 9-12 people and their entire business in a fucking week. Yeah.
"Oh, but it's just sms verification" says he. What he also wants is the ability to flag users as fraudulent, have sticky verifications so they can't bypass them by backing out, have email checks as well as sms, have deferred verification to allow collecting required info (e.g. phone number), verification fallback, lockouts, manual admin whitelisting, admin blacklisting, and different rules per merchant and rule groups for affiliates to apply to all of their merchants, and of course the ability to customize those merchant/affiliate anti-fraud rules. But he shortens this gigantic list to "I want sms verification," despite actually asking for all of the above. I don't want to know about the mental gymnastics and/or blindfolding required to equate the two, but he's nuts.
All of that.
In a goddamn week.
And I get chewed out when it isn't done? Fuck off.
Go build me a goddamn 5m ft^2 castle out of basalt and marble using only your toothbrush and a rusty garden trowel, and have it done in a week. No outsourcing.
talk about ridiculous.6
Funniest thing I heard in my computer science class
P1: What's GitHub?
P2: It's like an IDE like Eclipse but an online version.7
One of my most favorite quotes:
"UNIX is very simple, it just needs a genius to understand its simplicity."
- Dennis Ritchie2
Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"9
Me Vs a PHP teacher
And to do login, we just do SELECT username WHERE password = (userinput)
Really? Checking raw userinput against plaintext password?
There is no point in doing it securely here because if they want, the students can go take a seperate course on security
So no point in teaching students that they should write their code secure by default and just leave it as a afterthought?
Yes, because this is how i have always done it
Okay, time for a break
*Uses the break to teach all students about sql injection, password hash and salt, rainbow tables and user input sanitizing*
Students to teacher:
He's right, if you dont teach us to code securely by default, we are likely to end up causing a data leak or be hacked, if you dont teach us properly we have no point coming here
*Smiles at the teacher with a face that says: Pwnd*
Alright then, tell me whats wrong in my code
I was so proud that i helped the class understand secure by default principles61