Those feelings you get when you know @dfox can see you in he's rear view mirror.

https://c0d4-101.github.io/devRant-...

#10YearsChallenge

Using my vacation time

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Ah, PHP's misleading function names.

Me and my dev boyfriend went camping the other day in the middle of nowhere in Chile. Before entering the campsite we agreed no dev talk on the hike and then the moment we arrive we get the 0th tent platform. We looked at each other and chuckled our way into the tent 😂
#relationshipGoals

I dont know why. Maybe the appearance and performance.
Still i think i am better than most of them.
I am sure that i have a place in this industry.

Dang It

HOW TRANSIT SHOULD WORK
🚌 🏃
🚌 🏃
🚌 🏃
💨 🏃
🚶‍♂️ oh fuck I missed the bus
🚶‍♂️ glad there's another in 6 minutes!

HOW TRANSIT DOES WORK (IN THE US)
🚌 🏃
🚌 🏃
🚌 🏃
💨🏃
🚶‍♂️ oh fuck I missed the bus
🚶‍♂️ not another for an hour
🚶‍♂️ hope I don't lose my job.

haha😂😂😃😉

That create a mess.

Funny patch notes

So ehm, tl;dr: KEEP DAILY BACKUPS. EVEN IF SOMEONE SAYS NOT TO.

7:48
Manager: Hey Tom, is the server down?
Me: Nah, should be ok, I just did some maintenance this sunday.
Manager: But I can't get [some work data from SQL server]
*Nervous giggle*

9:14: Some random off-site cunt they hired didn't read the notes that said "DO NOT REMOVE DATABASE [xyz]"
9:20-ish: Web don't even have the DB. And you said that we'll figure out what to do with backups later
*Suddenly manager starts to panic*
11:47: Found backup of the entire server on and old server that we had for spare parts, still running tho.
12:something: Everything back up and working.

Really glad I kept the old server running and doing daily backups. Saved our ass for the second time. And finally, new off-site backup is planned this week.

So sad for cpp😛

No,Thanks I can wait one more day.

........

PSA: If you work on a project where code review is expected and there is a migrations framework set up for you, and you choose to self-merge/commit directly to master and update the prod database in the console instead of writing migrations, your coworkers hate you and you can eat shit. That is all.

When you tell the juniors to comment on everything...

Docs!

Seems legit to me 👍

Quote of the day

people who use a VPN to browse the internet because of privacy concerns but then sit in a house full of Alexa devices

Slack.

Someone else disturbing me while I'm thinking about technicalities. Makes me lose my shit because recollecting everything afterwards is often more difficult than the problem itself.

Note to self: tell cleaning lady to keep disturbances to a minimum when I'm working, and turn notifications on the Fandroids off before starting work. No I'm not interested in that Telegram message right now. And God bless OnePlus for putting in a physical slider for that.. more phone manufacturers should start doing this.

I made it to the front page of Reddit for the first time with this

What devrant taught me:

Everyone hates java
Everyone hates php
Everyone hates spaces
Everyone hates tabs
Everyone hates vim
Everyone hates windows
Everyone hates linux
Everyone hates clients
Everyone hates PMs
Everyone hates every language they're not working with
Everyone loves devrant 😊

My thoughts on programming:

As a child:
It is 100% magic

As a developer:
It is 65% if/else statements, 34% iterating an array, 1% actual amazing and unique code

...........the fuck did I just read

This mother fucker ever read a book before? 🤦‍♀️

Bug in YouTube

So I guess no more debugging for me then...

Fuck this Kibana shit and give me back my old grep (or even better: ripgrep). In 2008, I used to find shit in my fucking logfiles. Now I have an ELK stack that smells like liquid shit.