Management : "How long you think it would take?"

Me : "now this is a rough estimate, but I think building the back-end and database alone could take 6-months minimum"

Management : "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS"

me : "its a big proj..."

Management : "I thought it will be something like 10 days, already told the client it can be done"

me : "but we are not ready"

Management : "how are we not ready? we already have the virtual 3D shop, and we can use this ready-to-deploy eCommerce service as our data base "
... "you need to figure this out, this is not acceptable" he continued

* 2 Days Later -talking to my direct boss *
Boss : "since you don't know how to do it..."

me : "what ? I didn't say I can't do it, all I said it will take six months"

Boss : "yeah yeah, anyway there is this studio, a professional polish studio, we called them and they can do it, we will sign a contract with them, this will let you focus on the front-end. good?"

me : "well alright then"

Boss : "please write a doc, explaining everything needed from the backend"
-to me that was the end of it, took a long time to tell me they made the deal-

* 5 Months later *
- "Abdu, can you come here for a minute..."
- "yes boss?"
- "the document we asked you to do for the Polish studio, did you specify that we needed an integration with the API we are using for eCommerce?"

scared to death I answered : "why of course I did!"
I ran to my PC to check it out because I didn't know, I forgot because no one even comment on my doc. I check it out, and it was clearly explained... I got relaxed...

turns out they didn't even do what we asked them for. took them 5 months, and with no communication whatsoever. all their work was useless to us. complete dump waste.

----------------
never mentioned this until a year later... in a heat of moment when they were asking me to make an impossible task with no men and no time... I reminded them of this story... management didn't like it. but it was the truth. they didnt push this crazily this time

Year 2013

- Trying this thing called Bitcoin
- Setup wallet in spare USB drive
- Buy 0.5 BTC (couldn’t afford more)
- Forgot about it

Year 2016

- Remembered I had bought BTC
- Looking like crazy for my USB drive
- Found it!
- Insert it into PC
- only one file in it
- essay_blah_blah_<sisters name>.doc
- poof, gone for ever

Client: Why do I need to pay for a website. You're just copy pasting images and text from a word doc.

Me: There is a lot more to it, like code...

Client interupted me before I could finish: Why am I paying you for code I can't see!

Same client told me to "just phone google" to put their site on the 1st search page.

SERIOUSLY: FUCK YOU PAYPAL...

🖕For your 500 Apis that seemingly do the same fucking thing
🖕For your fucking Webhooks that get dispatched every fucking century
🖕For needing a fucking degree in PayPal sciences to understand which fees apply and when
🖕For doc links that seemingly lead to nowhere
🖕For having to plow through 500 pages on your fucking retarded website to be able to execute or receive a fucking payment
🖕For your casual internal server errors
🖕For your fucking ancient sandbox account design and dysfunctional features therein

Making payments is not fucking rocket science you fucking cunts.

🖕FUCK YOU!🖕

Someone know where I can find some doc??

Things have been a little too quiet on my side here, so its time for an exciting new series:

practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.

Episode 1: Dealing with the new backend team

It's great to be back folks. Since our last series where we delved into the mind numbing idiocy of former colleagues, a lot has changed. I've moved to a new company and taken a step up as a Dev manager / Tech lead. Now I know what you are all thinking, sounds more dull and boring right? Well it wouldn't be a practiseSafeHex series if we weren't ...

<audience-shouting>
DEALING! ... WITH! ... IDIOTS!
</audience-shouting>

Bingo! so lets jump right in and kick us off with a good one.

So for the past few months i've been on an on-boarding / fact finding / figuring out this shit-storm, mission to understand more about what it is i'm suppose to do and how to do it. Last week, as part of this, I had the esteemed pleasure of meeting face to face with the remote backend team i've been working with. Lets rattle off a few facts to catch us all up:

- 8 hour time difference to me
- No documentation other than a non-maintained swagger doc
- Swagger is reporting errors and several of the input models are just `Type: String`
- The one model that seems accurate, has every property listed as optional, including what must be the primary key
- Properties go missing and get removed at the drop of a hat and we are never told.
- First email I sent them took 27 days to reply, my response to that hasn't been answered so far 31 days later (new record! way to go team, I knew we could do it!!!)
- I deal directly with 2 of them, the manager and the tech lead. Based on how things have gone so far, i've nick named them:
1) Ass
2) Hole

So lets look at some example of their work:

- I was trying to test the new backend, I saw no data in QA. They said it wouldn't show up until mid day their time, which is middle of the night for us. I said we need data in our timezone and I was told: a) "You don't understand how big this system is" (which is their new catch phrase) b) "Your timezone is not my concern"

- The whole org started testing 2 days later. The next day a member from each team was on a call and I was asked to give an update of how the testing was going on the mobile side. I said I was completely blocked because I can't get test data. Backend were asked to respond. They acknowledged they were aware, but that mobile don't understand how big the system is, and that the mobile team need to come up with ideas for the backend team, as to how mobile can test it. I said we can't do anything without test data, they said ... can you guess what? ... correct "you don't understand how big the system is"

- We eventually got something going and I noticed that only 1 of the 5 API changes due on their side was done. Opened tickets. 2 days later asked them for progress and was told that "new findings" always go to the bottom of the backlog, and they are busy with other things. I said these were suppose to be done days ago. They said you can't give us 2 days notice and expect everything done. I said the original ticket was opened a month a go *sends link* ......... *long silence* ...... "ok, but you don't understand how big the system is, this is a lot of work"

- We were on a call. Product was asking the backend manager (aka "Ass") a question about a slight upgrade to the new feature. While trying to talk, the tech lead (aka "Hole") kept cutting everyone off by saying loudly "but thats not in scope". The question was "is this possible in the future" and "how long would it take", coming from management and product development. Hole just kept saying "its not in scope", until he was told to be quiet by several people.

- An API was sending down JSON with a string containing a message for the user with 2 bits of data inside it. We asked for one of those pieces to also come down as a property as the string can change and we needed it client side. We got that. A few days later we found an edge case and asked for the second piece of data to be a property too. Now keep in mind, they clearly already have access to them in order to make the string. We were told "If you keep requesting changes like this, you are going to delay the release of the backend by up to 2 weeks"

Yes folks, there you have it, the most minuscule JSON modifications, can delay your release by up to 2 weeks ........ maybe I should just tell product, that they don't understand how big the app is, and claim we can't build it on our side? Seems to work for them

Thats all the time we have for today,

Tune in for more, where we'll be looking into such topics as:

- If god himself was an iOS developer ... not
- Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
- Its more time-efficient to just give everything a story point of 5
- Why waste time replying to emails ... when you can do nothing instead

See you all next week,
practiseSafeHex

So, in my Country there are people actually selling 40 empty folders for about 3 dollars... As a gift they also send an empty .doc file... And people are buying it!!!

Not today!

Me: So i've cloned the iOS project, i've run carthage, but it won't build.. Have I done something wrong?

Devs: Oh read this doc on github, we do loads of custom stuff. The depenedncy manager can't do it all by itself. You need to run `./scripts/boostrap.sh`

Me (another day): I've switched branches and i'm getting all these errors. Any ideas?

Devs: Ah this happens when someone modifies xyz. Read this pinned slack message. Run `./scripts/bootstrap.sh` again.

Me (another day): I've switched branches again, getting different errors, re-running boostrap didn't fix it.

Devs: Ah yeah, this happens when someone modifies abc. You need to run `./scripts/nuke.sh` and then boostrap when this happens.

Me (another day): Guys When I try to run the prod app its not building any ideas?

Devs: Ah yes have a look at this confluence link. You need to run `./scripts/setup_debug_release.sh`, then nuke, then boostrap and you'll be good.

Me: .... ok

Devs: Oh btw very important! do not commit any changes from `./scripts/setup_debug_release.sh`. It will break everything!

Me: ... no i'm sorry we have a much bigger problem than that. We need to talk ... like right now

Have you tried turning me off and on again, Doc?

>Be me, have doctor's appointment
>Call in late for work
>Reach clinic
>Assistant asks to put in pupil dilation drops before checkup
>Have to wait half an hour before solution settles
>Already late and this sucks
>Squeezes lemons in my eyes. Lemon with a 's'
>scream.mp3
>Wait for 15 minutes and next round of lemon squeezing
>r/InstantRegret for visiting doc
>Half an hour and cannot see anything in short sight
>Doc checks by penetrating laser in my eye
>All good but feel giddy
>Doc says I will not be able to see in short sight for at least two hours
>Panic mode on
>Somehow boards first bus
>Switch to next bus
>Traffic and blindness kills
>Just one stop before, bus gets into terrible accident
>A kid hurt badly
>Fight everywhere
>Police arrives.mp4
>Alight and catch auto-rickshaw
>Low on cash but reach office late
>Still blind af
>Acts cool
>10000 hours later barely able to see
>Navigate holding side bars
>No work all day
>Regret coming to office
>Eye sight returns
>Sees crush and gets triggered like always
>Spend time with office bro
>Cools down
>Panic mode off
>Passes time and leaves for home
>Reach home and post the story

TL;DR: what a shit fuck lazy day.

Ah, PHP's misleading function names.

This is my message to that particular developer of Microsoft who made a change in the Win32 API but was too lazy to update the MSDN doc:

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. You wasted 3 days of mine and I had to find your fucking change by looking into the source code.

I wonder if those people who give unwarranted useless advice to developers go to their doctors and do the same thing.

- Doc, just make a small slit, take out old heart, put in a new one, connect everything back as before and stitch it. Easy peasy. Shouldn't take more than a few minutes.
- my leg is fractured. Just open it and tape it back. It is a hack job, but it'll make the client happy for now. It will be quickly done.
- I think I have cancer. Just write a script to kill it. Shouldn't be too difficult.

Fuckers.

1. Spend a week learning InDesign and create an awesome resume.
2. Upload and send the PDF resume around with applications.
3. Have ppl ask for a Word file...

Product sending an email: Can I confirm feature A is all set for its release on April 30th?

Me: ... what? no that feature is going out with Feature B, that was pushed back to June because of the server issue.

Product: No, the release plan document says April 30th for this.

Me: ... theres 6 copies of this doc now. Someone is after deleting my comments saying "releasing with Feature B". Oh look heres a link to another doc that says this. See Feb14th "Will go out with Feature B". This is because they are touching the same code, we can't separate them now without re-writing it.

*Me to myself*: Ha product are going to hate this, their shitty processes have finally caught up with them.

*next day*

Other manager: So heres my plan for the app release x, y, z.

*Me to myself*: ... his plan? this is my app, I mange this. What the hell is this?

*reads email thread*

*Me to myself*: ... oh so product really didn't like my reply, took me off the thread, sent a response to all the other managers asking for alternatives, CC'ing upper management. The same upper management I had a private conversation with yesterday about how shit our product team are.

*cracks knuckles*

I'm going to enjoy writing this reply.

Me: Hi Guys, theres no docs on our custom push notification / deeplinking implementation. I've tried to work backwards from a QA testing doc to add new links. Can someone tell me if this is all ok? It seems to behave a little weird.

Dev: Looks ok, but we've moved to the braze platform for sending notifications. You'll need to trigger braze notifications now. Test that it works ok with that <confluence-link>

*hour later*

Me: I've tried the debugging tool, both with my payload and one of the samples from the link. It displays on the phone, but tapping it doesn't trigger the deeplinking.

Dev: No it works, try one of these <screenshot of samples I used>

*hour later*

Me: Tried it again on the real device to make sure, as well as on develop and master. Not working with those samples or mine.

Dev: No it does. It comes in here in this library <github link to line of code>

Me: ... Nope, debugged it, it doesn't get passed the next 'if' check on the next line as its missing a key/value. The whole function does nothing.

Dev: Oh do you want to send a braze notification?

Me: ..... you told me I had too .... yes I guess.

Dev: ok for a braze notification it works different, send this <entirely different sample no where on the link>

Me: ...... but ..... this is only for braze notifications ..... why .... all the samples have deeplink url's .... but they don't ....... are you ..... FFS!!!!! !@#?!

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

┌П┐(ಠ_ಠ)

My bio professor has a word doc called passwords that she keeps on an unencrypted external hard drive.

She leaves the hard drive in the room with all of her other stuff when she goes for a break between classes.

First rant here. Long, but please bear with me:

So after slogging my ass off in various early stage startups for over 4 years and keeping up with the almost non-existent development process, I joined an organisation which has some of the brightest and smartest minds I have had the pleasure to work with.

Mind you, this company is the market leader in it's field and has a 50+ people in it's tech team and the quality of work is pretty impressive.

Now for this week's sprint, I was asked to develop a feature which already exists on the Android app and they want to introduce in the iOS app too. The backend APIs are all in place and all I need to do is build it with virtually no dependency. My PM asks me to start with the UI and ask the backend dev for the API list whenever I need them.This is where the story turns.

For my first API, I go to the backend dev and ask him to share the API documentation and he looks at me as if I have asked him to dance the fucking cha cha. With a straight face he tells me that, 'The organisation doesn't maintain any kind of documentation for it's APIs.' Now this really shocks me. Even in a 5 men tech teams I have worked on, we have always maintained a spec doc for the APIs and this is a company which is known for it's tech practices.

Being the new guy I compose myself and ask if they have anything for me here: Postman collection, a workflowy doc, a goddamn txt file; anything which might help me, and he laughs at my dilusion and says no.

Dejected, I ask for a way to get the APIs and I am told that there are only two ways: either I keep bothering the Android dev for the APIs(No, I don't have the access to the android repo and nor am I gonna get it) which he had worked on 4 months back or I install the prod app on my phone, and use Charles to get every fucking API which is really, really annoying.

I thought writing out this rant would make me feel better, turns out it just made me angrier. Why the fuck can't they document such an important thing!?

OMFG
Waking up in the middle of the night to a strange feeling in my ear and noises. Started shaking the head, which did nothing except panicking because of intensifying scratch noises in my head.
Getting the fear to be eaten inside out.
Get the phone and call sister to get me to the doc but her phone is powered off. Starting to Google "consequences of an cockroach in your ear", reading this is not as bad as I thought and that some people do not even realize it !??
Laying down for 3 minutes in the dark, *heating up and feeling my pulse* hoping it will crawl out. Which obviously did not fucking happened, this sucker just squatted my ear.
So I go to the bathroom and start filling up the tub. While it is filling up, I Google "how to get cockroach out of your ear". Finding an article that you should pour oil in your ear to suffocate the squatter. So I go to the kitchen, grab my sunflower oil, go to the mirror and start pouring. I am starting to shine like a bodybuilder and hear the noises again. After what felt like an eternity, I hear even more scratching in my head, this is the moment I do half a headbang and *wush* *flap* something hit the ground. I look down in the hope it wasn't just the sunflower oil and see this little thing which is clearly a cockroach. I am fucking relieved, not hearing any noises anymore.

My second job. I've been hired as a research specialist, not a developer, but they found out I could code during the interview.

Boss: hey, so we have our main product line that shares the control panel for all the models, right?
Me: unh, yeah
B: well, we need to know how it works.
M: sorry?
B: yeah, I mean, we should have a manual with all the tech documentation so we know how everything works
M: ...and didn't you handle the tech docs to the developers?
B: uh...no, actually we requests feature to the devs (note: external company) with a phone call, or email...now we need the specs.
Me: omg

...

The other company (which is part of the same group) handles me the source code.
It is a huge, 25k lines of spaghetti written by at least 7 people, one at a time, uncommented.
After a month I produce a 50page doc with how everything works, after actually compiling my resignation letter 3 times.

M: boss, here the docs
B: fine, I'll take a look
15 mins later
B: this is not what we need! You cannot describe those algorithm like this!
( I described the algorithms with their block flow, with a punctual verbal description)
M: umh.. So how do you need it?
B: we need an excel table, with all the entering conditions on the rows and all the exit conditions in columns, and the description of the condition of work in the crossing cells!
M: are you even serious?

Now I feel relieved...

People sending text documents in .doc format... what is fucking wrong with you?! Word has even had a build in .pdf converter for decades!?

A recruiter asks for my LinkedIn credentials to save me from the hassle of updating my profile.
Is this the new 'send me your cv in .doc format so I can write whatever I want in there'?
I'm not even looking for a job and I don't know who you are! Fuck off!

Somebody asked me my API doc.
I don't have any API at all.

I will lie, and I'll write a swagger specification in few hours and I'll send them.

They will try to read it and understand, and after maybe a week, when they will ask for testing and endpoint I'll pretend to be on holiday for 2 weeks.

3-4 weeks gone already, I checked they should be on holiday by then. Only then, I'll answer with a fake endpoint with fake data.

I'll get another 2 weeks if I'm lucky.
When they discover about fake data, I'll say there is a bug.

In total if I play well, I have 2/2.5 months to implement some kind of API server with some more or less true implementation.

Thanks to Swagger. Swag

PHP is shit - Change My Mind

Seniors: Welcome to the team. Feel free to ask anything if you need help. There is no such thing as stupid questions.

New Dev: Sure. Thanks.

*a few minutes later*

New Dev: How to comment a code?

Seniors: Google it....and please don't ask stupid questions.

Just started my new position and discovered that company's tasks, bugs & versions are managed in single Google Doc 😐

When someone sends you a code snippet to embed on their website IN AN MS WORD DOC.

💩

My friend and boss，told me he would teach me code 2 years in a half ago.

I didnt know what css or html was and i used to call java javascript.

I can know create my own module with webpack， have my automated doc， use react， redux， he taught me linux， git，unit testing， databases，docker， and so on...

Im not an expert in any of it butbi know what they are for and can play with them more or less comfortably.

The best advice he ever gave me was:

“coding is not about coding. We are like the greath painters of history. They were great at painting but even more at creating. If you have no creativity， you can paint as well as you want， its worthless.”

Admin work, because its all manual:

- Each new project has to fill out an Excel tab in a workbook, with a list of all the major tasks and who is responsible. This then needs to be used to create a Gantt chart, manually, in the same tab, showing in what month a task starts and ends.

- Every month we have to manually enter status updates into a powerpoint slide on a shared deck. Which has a collision at least once per month.

- Once a quarter we need to do something similar as the powerpoint slides, but into a word doc instead.

- Once a week we need to track our time on projects in a tool that can't be integrated with (no API or anything). Meaning we can't link up a ticket tracking system to it, so again, all manual.

- Once every 6 months a new round of research funding opens up and we write proposals. The status for which are tracked in another Excel spreadsheet, manually, once a week until the deadline.

- The instructions for what to do with the proposals are so vague and badly documented that there is an unwritten rule, that for the first time you will have to ask a bunch of questions to the project manager. This is accepted by everyone and its just the done thing.

- Everything is stored in a dropbox style system, which has become so cluttered I can only find resources by saving the links sent out previously.

- Some of these updates / reports also get a 1 hour meeting for everyone to stand up and read out what they've entered.

- From time to time random things will need to be reported on to the higher ups (how many publications, research papers, patents, times and dates etc.). Again rather than a tool, a new Excel spreadsheet is whipped up and emailed to everyone on the team. Whoever sent it out, then has to merge the 20+ copies into 1 doc.

- Some of the staff (mostly the devs), use a ticket tracking system to keep track of everything. Management refuse to use it to track the things they need. Instead we have to copy paste from it into the word docs, powerpoint, excel etc.

- By far the most annoying. Management force all the above as they need the info for finance, accounting, legal etc etc. So we have to do it, but whenever there is a question from legal, management send the question to us. So despite having documented every facet of everything imaginable, it all gets ignored in favour of endless emails.

I once tried to to put an end to all of this madness by proposing the use of a ticket tracking system, and then building reporting tools on top of it.

... I was told that it "wasn't appropriate". Still don't know what that means.

Having to submit code in a word doc... 😬

Man I really hate it when people think that coding doesn't take any concentration and can just interrupt you while you're thinking about how to solve problems

So the other day I was working on how to solve a problem with filtering data with JS, and I had to urgently update one of our pages on our website. I had to update that page according to the content of a Word file, which I didn't check how long it was.

About 15 minutes later everything was ready and published, so I set myself back to my problem.

I get an email from her, "you mixed up things" and she showed up in my office. "There are four pages in this word doc and you copied wrong parts", I was like "ok, I'll fix it". Fixed it two minutes later, went back to code.

Received another email, with another subject, again with another problem. Start getting pissed off for being interrupted for nonsense. Fixed it instantly and put my manager in the email loop so she is aware my other colleague pisses me off.

And again, another direct email "can you fix this?!". I started ignoring her requests because I need some work to be done, and I already lost 2 hours. Got again interrupted by her personal visit to point me which things are wrong, repeating everything twice as I am stupid to her. Man I can't code in peace. I fixed her shit, exactly as she wants and decided to pay my manager a visit to tell her I'm really pissed about being interrupted all the time.

Five minutes before the end of the day, she comes panicking in the office about ANOTHER WORTHLESS issue. Told her it's nothing and went away.

Day is over, thought it was over - a whole afternoon spent correcting her fucking page that gets 10 visits a year.

On the next morning, "there is something wrong with your form, can you check it?!!?" with an attached screenshot. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU STOP ANNOYING ME WITH YOUR FUCKING SHIT CANT WORK ANYMORE. PUT YOUR FUCKING PAGE RIGHT UP YOUR ASS AND FIX IT YOURSELF.

She doesn't have any access to the back end.

Guess I'll have to fix it then...

As a student, I was doing an internship, during the summer, in web development. I was building a new version of a website, using Django.

Everything goes well. It works great on the development server, supervisor is super pumped about it. For bureaucratic reasons, I'm not allowed to put it into production. I write a detailed doc and they say they'll handle it.

Internship is over. I keep receiving calls for help from my former supervisor. The production team keeps failing, again and again. (sort of fed up) I finally go back there to help them. The website is finally up.

A week later, it is taken down. Default Apache page shows up when browsing. Never heard from them ever again.

Now all I have left is disappointment and an experience I can't showcase 😣

One day at a doctor who started a small conversation:
Doc: What is your job?
Me: I am a software developer, I write computer programs basically.
Doc: Interesting. How does it work?
Me: Oversimplified you have special languages to tell the computer what to do and then this is converted into a program you can start on your PC. The languages are a bit like basic english (thought of Pascal at this moment).
Doc: So then it is a pretty simple job.

Me thinking: OMFG yes that's why I studied it 6 years, because it's soo easy.

Me thinking at home: Next time tell them that you are a computer scientist and that it is applied mathematics basically. Maybe then they will get a clue of the complexity. 🤔

This is true tbh

Heard about that developer thats was involved in a car accident and went to hospital for brain surgey?

Doc said he need to remove half of the brain but he will survive. His developer friends was happy with the news that he will survive but sad loosing a great developer.

The surgey went as expected and now he is one of the best Project managers in the business.

Team quarterly capacity planning:

- Confluence document created with a big table (+100 rows) by product / business. Each row is something that needs to be worked on for the coming quarter.

- Row 1 could be an Epic with 15 tickets attached. Row 2 could be adding a single log to our analytics. No consistency.

- For each row, we create a separate confluence document with the "technical details". 75% of the time these remain blank. 1% of the time there is something useful, the rest its a slightly longer version of the description from the bigger document.

- Each row gets a high level estimate by the leads. 50% of the time without sufficient background info to actually do get it accurate.

- These are then copied into the teams excel spreadsheet, where it will calculate if we are over/under capacity.

- We will go backwards and forwards between confluence and excel until we are "close enough" to under capacity without being too much.

- Once done, we then need to copy them into the org/division's excel spreadsheet. This document is huge, has every team on it and massive 50pt text saying "Do not put a filter on this document".

- Jira tickets + Epics will now be created for each one, with all the data be copied over by hand, bit by bit, by product. Often missing something.

- Last week, at the end of this process for Q2 (2 weeks late), 6 of the leads were asked to attend a 30 minute meeting to discuss how to group the line items together because we had too many for the bigger excel spreadsheet.

- This morning I was told business weren't happy with one of our decisions to delay one line item. Although they were all top priority (P0), one of them was actually higher than that again (P-1?) and we need to work it back in.

... so back to step 1

- Mid way through Q2, a new document will be created for Q3. Work items that didn't make the cut will be manually copied from one to the other. 50/50 whether anything that didn't get done on time in Q2 will make its way to the Q3 doc.

- "Tech excellence" / "Tech debt" items (unit/UI tests, documentation, logging, performance, stability etc) will never be copied over. Because product doesn't understand them and assumes therefore that they are unimportant.

==================

PS: I'd like to say this was a rare event for Q2, but no. Q4 and Q1 were so bad, we were made assurances from the director of engineering that he would fix this process for Q2. This is the new and improved process (I shit you not) that has resulted in nothing tangible.

When your half asleep coding

pressed i in a Google doc.

It's 2018 and folks are still stuck "collaborating" on documents by sharing them back and forth over email.

MS Word Doc created in Office 2016 will not open in Office 365.

THIS IS WHY GOOGLE IS WINNING!

Microsoft MSDN is a great example of how fucked up a documentation can be.

Update the fucking doc! You're one of the biggest tech company in the world!

Pet peeve:

Putting screen shots in Word documents, then attaching the doc to tickets.

Mucking forons.

The superhuman feeling of going back to your code after a week and it all makes perfect sense, the variable names are intuitive, the doc strings are comprehensive, and the general codebase structure is sensible.

There was maybe one of the coolest methods of apply for a job. There was a company in Sydney on linkedin on the apply href for the job was pointing to localhost (might of been a accident) so you had to find their website and with the trailing url get to the page then they said to send OPTIONS request to a endpoint here you got a link to a api doc to where you send a POST to apply for a job they had a example body to use. So sending the Post request with with postman required headers so looking more into the doc it gave the headers needed. Now the example body for the post had some errors in it and once they are fixed you can then submit the request.

NOW thats the way to find competent developers shame I'm not one of the.

Since alot coworkers asked me:
(windows 10)
Press win+tab, klick the "add desktop" thing in the bottom right corner, add as much Desktops as u like. Now change them very smooth with strg+win and <- or ->.

Move windows with the win+tab thing to other desks

I tried multi Desktop for years on linux and with 3rd party tools on windows. It never worked well, was unsexy and bugged or programms could not handle it.

The win10 stuff is the firsr really cool working multi Desktop thing. I still even use it with 2 or 3 monitor setups. I hate to minimize and maximize programms. Usually i got a Desktop to code one for doc, one for Test runs and one for administrative stuff (Outlook, reddit, 9gag).

Try it, you will hate it when you then need to work without it =}

FRIENDLY REMINDER: Fucking save your goddamn work. Thanks.

- Your friendly neighborhood dumbass who just lost 14 hours of his life because his computer crashed.

P.S. Normally not a problem when working on code because I'm forced to save and commit with Git. Unfortunately I was balls deep in Adobe motherfucking illustrator working on wireframes, and didn't have doc recovery turned on.

Accidentally Click on .doc file in File Manager
Microsoft word starts to open it
I press cancel.
Word- Attempting to cancel ....
And then opens it anyway.
Me - Wut?

After realizing how life-saving commenting is..

Them : "Here is an example of how to use my library, 45 lines of mandatory configuration omitted"
Me : "Here is a pot of boilling oil, could you take a small bath in it?"

All I ask, clients, is for you to send EVERYTHING you want in a single document.

It can be DOC, PDF or even in the body of an e-mail, as long as it's properly organized and formatted.

But, please, DO NOT BREAK IT IN 4789502935352183785785923 E-MAILS, specially when you want it to be done quickly!

Don't you just love it when you're waiting on a team member in a different country to push code that you NEED to be able to finish your job, but you know they've already gone home for the night and you're stuck reading the same three doc pages for your entire day at work? Because I sure do

TLDR someone in my team took credit for work he didnt do;

I know teamwork is a good thing and when everyone does their share of the work, it is.

I submitted a computer science project to an event in the UK called the Big Bang fair, I was in a group of 3. We had been meeting every week after for the past 10 months. During these sessions me and uke have been meeting for 1h 30m where as oon could only meet for 1h because "he had stuff to do" and he never saw the point in staying longer. Oon had also been a massive distraction whilst the time he was there as he did no work and messed around on cookie clicker.

Anyway we found out last week that the Big Bang fair was coming very soon and we had not written a write up or done any preparation for the presentation we had to do. Me and uke set up a google doc and started adding stuff to it (as we only had a few days left at this point). Whereas oon did nothing.

I ended up staying up till 3am in the morning finalising the write up over the weekend with uke helping. We asked oon to help but he said he didnt want to stay up late so didnt help.

Then the most stressful 2 days come round. I devoted all of my free time towards the project, uke devoted most of his time and oon devoted 1 hour after school on one day. He said that he couldn't do one lunchtime but I found him in the ICT room playing games :/.

This didn't matter THAT much but what pissed me off is that he started boasting to all his friends about all the work I did and credited it as his own. At the actual event he said nothing during the presentation because he knew nothing about the project. HE DIDNT EITHER BOTHER TO READ THE WRITE UP HE WAS BOASTING ABOUT. What do people get out of taking credit for work other people did.

We didn't win anything and I wonder why

wow thanks for reading all this you deserve a sticker

In the new job I have, we have to use power point for documentation. WTF

Finally I understand what it is like to use a language that does not have any extra resources like stackoverflow or tutorials.

Using ReasonML for my final year project and the only resource I have is the API doc ☹️

noob misconception #527: during my first hackathon i didn't know what version control was (i thought github was this magical elite hacker tool), so id copy my code into a google doc every few minutes along with a timestamp 😫

As a Java developer I didn't write a line of code at work for about 2 months. Been so busy with meetings, doc, governance, architecture decisions, running after people for approvals,... I really miss coding.

One of the things I really hate on Windows (and Microsoft software in general) is that the keyboard shortcuts are localized therefore are different from 90% of the apps that I use on a daily basis.

Two examples of this (EN-US vs PT-PT):
- "Save" is "Gravar" while "Underline" is "Sublinhar". This means that whenever I press Ctrl + S to save a doc in MS Word I underline a word instead of saving the bloody document.
- "All" is "Tudo" so when I want to select all the itens on a folder in the File Explorer I have to press Ctrl + T, the same shortcut I press in pretty much every single tabbed app to open a new tab.

This is terrible for the user experience because different languages provide different keyboard shortcuts to the user which goes against the concept of the usefulness of a keyboard shortcut: perform an action from anywhere without having to know its menu or menu description.

Fuck smartphone companies for bailing on Bluetooth (and NFC) as reliable inter-device ways to transmit data. Fuck Apple for no USB to PC file transfer. Fuck Google and Apple for their walled gardens and failing to make file transfer work over Bluetooth between their systems.

Bluetooth is a teenager with the mental state of a baby. The industry birthed it but failed to raise it to great heights. Seems to me it's fallen to simply being a wireless peripheral device connectivity protocol.

Where are all the cool NFC apps that work? Where is out-of-the-box support for Bluetooth file transfer? (I see you Android and Linux, ty). Why is desktop support for Bluetooth file transfer so awful and unreliable? Why the fuck doesn't BT transfer between Linux and Mac work?

Even between two Android devices of the same manufacturer I couldn't transfer shit over NFC.

Dafuq?

I want:
P2P Bluetooth mesh networks
Bluetooth file torrenting
Bluetooth encrypted chat that nearby phones can join
Bluetooth text
BT doc sharing..
Etc.

Correct me if I'm wrong so I can see the light.

Had nothing to do today, so I thought I´ll test the migration of SVN to Git in Gitlab.

Boss sent me a mail today, that when I migrate we need to preserve the history, so I actually have to put some effort in it. *sigh*

Shout-out to the Gitlab documentation at this point.
That´s probably the best doc I´v ever read...

Well so I tried to use svn2git. And well...
Who the fuck thought that this piece of shit software is in any way usable?
Holy crap!
If it fails, it just does so without any info why. Even in verbose mode.
And the RAM usage? What the actual fuck?
This whole thing is a complete memory leak!
32Gigs of RAM full in Minutes and the whole system starts to stall!
And then when I thought it finally runs through.
Bam another git checkout error...

Googling for that error then I found something. A version of svn2git made in .Net Core.
Didn´t expect much but I tried it anyways.
And would you look at that!
It ran so smooth and didn´t need that much RAM , I had some doubt it did work correctly.
But it did!

I think I´m gonna pay a coffee or two to some guy over in China now!

yeah Google, What a Terrible Failure

The recent post on being obsessive with "CTRL+S" reminded me...

Be careful if the file was shared with you via Dropbox.

I was doing this with an excel doc called "services by client" once and got this email...
----------------------------------------------
Subject: "services by client updated...." :-O

AAAAAHHHH OMG
Every time you hit save, I get a popup notification on my screen and its’ been going like once a second for an hour
Are you MANIC SAVING that excel sheet!??? Are you dealing from some past trauma of losing a document that you’ve worked really hard on!!!???
Lol … maybe copy the file outside of that folder a few minutes so I can continue my nap without this little “ding” going off :-P
----------------------------------------------

...all I had to say was WHO LEAVES DROPBOX POPUP NOTIFICATIONS ON anyway. Or mute your computer, lolz?

My PM refuses to use GitHub to log issues and keeps sending me Google Doc slides because she wants to add pictures. You can do that GitHub too!

Going to write 15 A4 pages long doc about app that only purpose is to calculate 2 numbers.
OMG how the fuck I'm supposed to do that ??????
Code and Pics are allowed too but those will help only little bit.

We are the 31, it is 00:54, I have a full specification to deliver on the 1rst at 00:00, and there is only half of it done.

Wish me luck for my doc New Year Eve

I had a client that used to send emails to detail requests or report bugs on a software.
Now, believe it or not, this was the regular way:
An email with just an introduction and a Word document attached, containing very verbose descriptions (usually not in a human known language) and most importantly, screenshots.
What's so weird about this? Those pictures were captured with printscreen, printed on paper, scanned and then inserted inside the doc 😭😭
Why all this? I don't know, otherwise I wouldn't have posted it as #wk32 ☺

Marketing : Do you think we can implement this feature in a system?

Dev : Hmm....*checking specs*...This will...

Marketing : *interrupts* we have already signed a contract with a client.

Dev : ugh......

When writing a troubleshooting section in a training / reference doc, don’t ask users to “check the power cable is connected properly”, instead say “unplug the power cable from the device and from the wall. Check for damage. If undamaged, plug back in to device and wall”.

Don’t say “ensure wall power is switched on”, say instead “switch power off at the wall, wait 10 seconds and switch back on”.

Coworkers using 'echo' command to comment lines in bash script because "our documentation says it".

Online applications are so much worse than the classic snail mail ones, because some companies just don't seem to give a single fuck about the quality of their application application (hehe).

This results in such joyous things like:

• "Allowed file types: doc, docx, pdf, jpg, zip"
• "Max filesize 3mb"
• "One of your files does not meet the requirements" (doesn't tell you which)
• "Upload timed out, please try again"
• 403 forbidden
• "Your account does not have the necessary permissions to upload more than 4 files at once"
• clicking the submit button leads to a 404
• "Please explain why you want to work for us." 500 character limit
• Google forms

Happy Christmas Eve, Everyone🎄
May you all be prepared for upcoming awkward family gathering. 🎅

What does an IT guy said to a doctor?

IT hurts when IP.

Get it? GET IT?

Added our new Terms of service and privacy policy to website today, copy and paste from word doc....15 pages of legalese with formatting. BLergh!!

People with "I am a senior, only I have to be right" mindset are really fustrating to work it.
It is not that hard to accept the truth. No one can be right all the time and no one gonna look down on you for that. You don't have to shove off-topic stuffs down the other people's throat when you realize you might be wrong.

When the specs doc was poorly written and u almost turn into a donkey

- I am leaving the company, so you will work on my project.
- (looks at code) But there is no single doc string or any documentation apart from the installation guide.
- Yes, but the project is really easy to understand.

... I will just sit here trying to understand your code instead of doing actual work.

All yall with a vim problem.

Go see the fucking vim doctor.

Then read the doc.

A guy who's parked next to me in the RV asked me today if I know anything about computers. Sure, what's it about?

He has forgotten his password for a Word .doc file, already installed all possible tools for password cracking, but none of them worked, and now
he can't find his vacation photos and surfing the internet suddenly doesn't work anymore.

Okay, no problem, I'll take a look at it. Windows 7 Home Edition, completely covered with malware, everywhere popups with pr0n ads.

I told him that I can't do much more than trying to recover the data and reinstall the OS. But before that, I'll make a image of the hard drive (thank god, only a 250 GB hdd). Then we'll see.

Unfortunately neither he nor I have a Windows DVD, so he will probably become a proud user of Antergos tomorrow.

Had an online programming interview for a start-up, writing code into a shared Google doc while on the phone with the interviewer.
Specifically told that I could just use pseudocode, so I did, without worrying about access modifiers, full variable declarations and use of "new" for making objects, or specific type declarations, etc.
Got told at the end that I "lack experience, and really should have defined access modifiers, declared types, and so on, and that they needed someone proficient in Java. That was the first time I knew about their Java requirement.

I recently built a staff portal. Sometimes when people ask what I did this summer I just say "I built a portal" without any additional info just to let them think I'm Doc Brown crazy.

So recently my open source project took off and got trending on GitHub (680 starts and 225 forks). This was the first time a project of mine really gained some traction and invested more of my time and weekends to maintain this project - I wrote comprehensive docs, contributing guidelines and reviewed PRs and made sure I commented on every single one of them. Sure, it isn't easy to review 50 PRs a day after coming home from work but the excitement of seeing this project becoming trending fueled me.

First 2 weeks it was good. I would come home from work and have dinner and sit down to maintain the project. Whenever contributors would be stuck, I would help them and write comments on each PR.

But the problem started since last week. People just really want to see their contribution activity graph get populated and hence they would make stupid PRs and literally no one followed contributing guidelines - I mentioned in that that the code should adhere to Pep8 styling but no one gave a shit. Each day I would spend reviewing PR with crappy formatted code and no sign of Pep8, and even some will just file PR and add a fucking docstring to every function or add paragraph of comments. Also, the PR quality was bad with unsquashed commits amounting to 10 or 20 or even sometimes 50.

I wrote the contributing guidelines doc and in that I mentioned every source that contributors could find helpful like how to squash commits, how to file a PR and Pep8 and not to write useless comments. Seriously people, grow up!

Uh oh, I just typed :w into a Google doc. I'm becoming one of those people...

Dear coworker,
when I asked: "So, how does it work?", I didn't expect the answer to be: "Well, you push this button, wait three seconds and when it's finished, this LED turns on."
I was hoping for a more in-depth description (like, the way you'd consider me to be seriously interested in your work or learning from you) along the lines of "Well, you see, I have written this CLI-Tool here, which connects to the adapter and parses the contents of the file via serial interface to the on-board controller. This controller performs an integrity check of the device and then decides whether to flash or not. The testing unit itself checks if its being programmed with the right parameters."
Of course I know how a programming device works but I was interested in your solution in this special case ... so I think I'll just check the doc later if there'll ever be some.

Time to time I do some Hard- and Software repairs for neighbors and get some little money for it.

My neighbor let's call this one "Bob".

Bob has a new printer and a old one which is over 15 years old.

First: Holy shit 15 years old printer works still. WTF? Is this thing Hulk or what?

He ask me why he can't print a 128 site Doc with pictures in it from the old printer. It always stop at around 50 pages.

I tell him that it has only 32 MB Ram/Flash and can't print more. Before the Doc's were much smaller and could print that, but today you got files with more than 10 MB and on a printer it need's atleast 128 MB Ram to process and print it.

Guess what? One week later he asks me the same questions.

Why don't you print it on your new shiny expensive printer and why do you need still that OFFICE WAR VETERAN OF PRINTER to print it???

Seriously just use the new and better one!! Bob please give that old one a burial. He deservs it!

This is PART 1/2 of a series of rants over the course of a software engineering class years ago.

We were four team members, two had never failed a class, I’ll refer to them as MT and FT, male and female top students, respectively, and an older student with some real world experience who I’ll refer to as SR.

Rant 1: As I was familiar with the agile methodologies I became the Scrum Master and was set with the task of explaining it to the team members, SR showed up late and nobody seemed interested in learning new methodology. At this point I knew we'd have trouble as a team.

Rant 2: FT made up her project proposal without informing anybody, which required a real client/product owner. We only figured it out after her proposal was accepted as the project, so we ended up working with fake requirements.

Rant 3: This one is partly my fault. I researched first and then worked, which meant I was the last to turn up my work. In one activity MT pressures me and I agree to a deadline so everyone can send their work to the teacher in a timely manner. Since I was the last to finish, I was also asked to give the doc some formatting, which I did in a hurry so it wasn't the best.
The next day MT and FT start complaining about me, saying I took too long and that they expect me to do better next time or else. At the same time they were stressed and in a hurry because we had to explain the project outline in front of the class and they didn't study.
Turns out copying and pasting all your work in less than an hour means you don’t learn anything. FT actually asked me for help days before and I sent her a website in English, which she wasn't very good at, so she just ran it through Google Translate and called it a day.
Later FT called me rude for interrupting MT in the presentation, which I did because he started making up stuff about the project.

Rant 4: SR expressed his dislike for school through profanity in variable names and commit messages. This caused MT and FT to dislike him. I thought it was immature but if anything it should’ve been reported to the teacher and move on.

Rant 5: I was stuck trying to get the REST API working for the project Admittedly this was my fault, too, because I was pushing for the usage of things nobody was familiar with for the sake of learning. This coupled with SR’s profanity led to drama and the progress was dropped, starting over from scratch.

At this point I stepped down from the Scrum Master role as nobody seemed to listen anymore.

Today, I wrote a code to manipulate children.

I needed to print out the documentation of Vue. Their guide, unfortunately, is not printer friendly. Used tempermonkey to inject a script which removes the navbar and sidebar so that I can print it.

I am a hacker

I have come across the most frustrating error i have ever dealt with.
Im trying to parse an XML doc and I keep getting UnauthorizedAccessException when trying to load the doc. I have full permissions to the directory and file, its not read only, i cant see anything immediately wrong as to why i wouldnt be able to access the file.
I searched around for hours yesterday trying a bunch of different solutions that helped other people, none of them working for me.
I post my issue on StackOverflow yesterday with some details, hoping for some help or a "youre an idiot, Its because of this" type of comment but NO.
No answers.
This is the first time Ive really needed help with something, and the first time i havent gotten any response to a post.
Do i keep trying to fix this before the deadline on Sunday? Do i say fuck it and rewrite the xml in C# to meet my needs? Is there another option that i dont even know about yet?
I need a dev duck of some sort :/

Ahaha yes! Tinder has a work mode that looks like a Google Doc so I can swipe on the sly :lol:

Kiss for fucks sake! What the fuck of an ORM is Sequelize? How the fuck do I have to write a 50 line query json to get a query for a single object going, which doesn't work then because that shit peace of software has a bug that breaks findOne and forces you to use findAll and use the first and only hit?!

Well yes, I looked in your garbage SEO docs for that issue, but whenever I look for something specific I just end up on your optimized as hell querying for noobs doc page. FUCK YOU!

Seriously, you guys working with Sequelize saved me many hours. But fuck your fuckups! And ajfjekidjjskrhbdkaowbdjdkwobdnfie

I might ditch Firefox for Chrome just for the fact that sometimes it doesn't open a pdf doc rather it just starts downloading it again and again and again until I sign out.

Just spent 6-8 hours or so trying to get image uploading to work with sending messages with firebase. Finally completed it.

Disclaimer: this might not make the most sense as I am completely drained mentally.

The issue was that I wasn't calling the send message method inside the upload image method. Meaning the images would upload but before I would be able to get the Uri back from firebase to put in the hashmap for the messages, the message hashmap would already be sent.

It was a pain in the ass to do. But 5 windows and 40 tabs later, then some doc reading. Then a quick break to eat. And some more stressing about my code. I finally realized that I should have just called the send message inside the incomplete listener in the image upload.

TLDR;
"uploadImage(), sendMessage()"= no Uri; :(
"UploadImage() { sendMessage() } = Uri" :)

PS: Yes, this is me talking to myself on my other account

Just before the holidays started I was given a task by my manager, $M.

$M: "Kyntak, while I'm away I want you to look into this new way of starting $important_service"

$me: "Okay $M, is there a bug for this that explains what is needed?"

$M: "Yes, you should be able to find it"

Goes looking, finds someone else working on something connected but not the same, finds the code change that makes this available... It doesn't explain how to use it, when the async events fire or (well, to a junior engineer like me) really anything.

Message the other (very experienced) eng.
$me: "Hey I've been asked to make $important_service use the new starting API, can you tell me about?"

$eng: "Yup, here's a bug for that and I'm happy to answer any questions you have" *goes offline*

I read the bug. It doesn't mention the original problem I was trying to solve, it doesn't even mention $important_service. There's no design doc mentioned. The bug has a higher priority assigned than any of my other work. It has an expected completion date only days after I get back from holidays (which $M told me to take).

I try to contact $M and $eng. They've already left for holidays.

"Hmm"

Implements as much of the fairly inevitable boilerplate that I can infer from the bugs and surrounding code.

"Hmm"

So, I'm into my second week of holiday and am starting to think about the potential shit storm I may return to.

I hope the bug's priority was wrong.

Me: We have a new research project for you. We need you to test these 2 new services, see how they will fit into the new application, look at alternatives if necessary etc. At the end we need you to write a report with your findings, showing how you would integrate them to achieve X, Y and Z, and how much it would cost each month.

Dev: sounds good, I'll come back to you when I have it.

*2 and a half weeks later*

Document paragraph 1: The new language translation service doesn't support the languages we need.

Document paragraph 2: Here's my proposal for integrating the new language translation service.

*review*

Me: So I had a look at the doc and it says it doesn't support the languages.

Dev: yeah unfortunately not.

Me: Ok, so when you discovered that, why didn't you look for an alternative? Or come back to me and say it's not going to work.

Dev: I dunno, I thought you'd want to see the rest of the research first.

Me: ... not if we know for 100% undeniable fact that it will never function.

Dev: Ah ok, I didn't think of that. I'll do that next time, don't worry.

... aw how sweet, he thinks there will be a next time. Poor guy.

Why is it that when I ask you if functionality is needed you tell me it isn't. So why was it in the requirements doc? 🤔

Can I have the past 2 hours of my life back in which I attempted to work out the solution please.

Fml.

Relatable

Last time, working on a project with two mates at school.

I'm the one who knows how to read and understand correctly a doc for low-level c libraries (portaudio, opus) and working on sockets.

I make the barebone of our server. Co-workers should work on socket client.

After a week, the socket client is ugly, and almost unusable.
I rewrite the socket client in two days.

Co-worker, for a week : "the only contribution of Orionss is deleting my code" (it wasn't the first time)

In these moments, I would like to kill this guy

client "it's ok we have a logo"

2 days later... receive a Word doc in an email with clients pixelated logo embedded

Have u heard about ear infarction?
Which makes one of your ears deaf?

Aaaah! I got one!
Tommorow must go to the doc then he injects inside my ear (hope it is less painful then i think)

Wish me luck ! Hope I can hear things as before soon

PM wrote a really high-level requirement doc and asked me about estimates.

Me: Well, functionality-wise it will take 4-5 days provided the design is ready.

PM: Our designers are really full on schedule; Just do it! Expand your creativity. I believe in your taste of UX

Me: Listen, the implemented design will take much more time to change if we go back and forth. It's better to revise on the designer's screen.

PM: Oh don't be so modest! I trust you already. Just focus on the functionality, get it done first. For the design we'll talk about it later. Move fast and break things!

Me: ..Sigh. This is gonna end up badly.

Multiple all-nighters (all day every day):

1) Working, studying and developing an Android game as pet project. Last few weeks before release (yup, I've set a deadline for a pet project) my day consisted of uni, work, more work and 4-5h sleep.

2) Having worked on my thesis (Development of a CPU/SoC + Firmware + Linux kernel) and actual paid work. In parallel. Because, you know, I need to eat and pay rent and shit while I'm writing the thesis. And debts at that moment were not an option (still made some). All-day all-night all-week. After submitting the thesis I went to the doc and enjoyed 2 weeks of doing nothing.

3) Sometimes on my main open-source project after regular work hours. If I have the motivation and ideas that I want to check out or prove it gets late/early too fast.

What the fuck Microsoft !! Your android apps are total piece of shit! Fucking outlook Android app don't have support to view doc file which is created using your shitty Microsoft teams portal.

If I click on that doc file link through my outlook app, you redirect me to chrome.
Ok that's still acceptable. But the real shit starts now. You tell me that your browser isn't supported! Is this fucking joke?? Who in the world develops a website which can't support latest version of Android chrome?
Now that I have installed your shitty Microsoft teams app, it doesn't show up in "open with" options. Clicking on that link is still redirecting to the chrome saying that browser is unsupported.

Also, your shitty Microsoft teams app can't edit fucking doc file. When I click on your Microsoft word icon, You again ask me to install Android app for Microsoft word.
Seriously fuck you Microsoft and your shitty apps!

I have finished some docs for my project.
Going to bed.
GIANT insect in my bed.

I think i'll not sleep tonight...

I prefere the doc work.

fuck my school. all i had to do was log in to see my grades and what do i get? the fucking stack trace. security? i think not. seriously though, why the fuck would my county want to make their own grading website when the one we had worked just fine? it looks like it was written terribly, the cause was just a bad socket connection and it even gave me the server name and version. i copied it to a google doc (it was already shortened) and it took up seven pages. jesus.

Long story short, my mama fixed the printer!

Well, more like she did troubleshoot.
Needed to print something and printer didn’t light up. Did some basic troubleshooting but didn’t work. So assumed it’s spoiled and thought would just use softcopy since document isn’t that important.

When papa told mama abt it, she went ahead and troubleshoot/setup for me to print. Even printed out a test doc, lol.

Then she remarked, “u’ve been doing software, that’s why not so good with hardware hah!”

Proud child is proud. 💪🏿

Pro of not using Git

* No git conflict

A cannon was fired before it was even loaded.

#js

!rant (all ranters should read)

Today I was at university, doing some C low-level stuff. Then I looked my Professor.

Holy fucking shit, this man (and obviously the others) learned programming without google, stackoverflow, youtube and online doc/forum/examples/explanation.
I also believe that some of them could not compile and run at home their software.

MASSIVE RESPECT FOR YOU ALL !

I want to rage at printers until my wrists are destroyed, like RMS did (atleast thats my theory on how he got his wrists bad).

Whoever thaugt that a scarse doc is sufficient to make devs understand bootloaders shall die amongst all the kevins

I don't know what to chose.

The fact that for three months, I had to design a 16-page catalog, when I have no experience and my job is web development;

The fact that I have to do SEO for the site, but that means for my boss that for a one-page long text, we have to find at least 60 (sixty! ) times the occurrences of the keywords;

The fact that when I finally have something interesting to do, the boss finds that it doesn't go fast enough and decide to drop the project even if making a whole new dynamic stock system with the db we have is something hard and long to do;

The fact that when I come to work five minutes late, my boss is at the verge on screaming on me, even if I come ten minutes early every other day;

The fact that when I'm coding, I need concentration, I don't need the boss to give me the phone to answer customers, stop everything I am doing and explain them what products we are selling;

The fact that I am paid the minimum wage for a trainee, and when there's no coffee anymore, we have to buy some ourselves because "you drink way too much coffee, you understand" (three a day, sorry for wanting to stay awake);

The fact that I have asked for one year how many days of vacation I still had, and the only answer they gave to me yet was: "Oh, we have to ask the accountant". I still don't know how many days I have left;

The fact that the site is made only by trainees since the beginning, so circa 2008, and the code is horrible but "it works, so don't touch it". The admin part is in CodeIgniter, the front in laravel 4.2, there are a lot of useless code but we can't touch it because the boss doesn't think it is worth the time.

I almost made a burn-out last year, my doc saw my state right before and made me stop for a week. I still have to work there 'till end of august, then I will have my diploma and find another company to work with. Now, I check everyday on my calendar.

I don't understand how my managers suddenly forgot that my "down weeks" we're due to technical debt I inherited. The whole on boarding hasn't been in my favor. I've stayed at work everyday til long after work hours, digging through code, trying to get JIRA tickets done, encountering issues specific to our code base that no one would ever discover on their own without docs/help from the original dev. The whole time, I was told that they know what's going on and apologize. I constantly expressed that plenty of what we were doing was building on antipatterns. They acknowledged. When a ticket wasn't done, they always knew the very specific reason and I wasn't faulted. 6 months in, I receive a great annual review. 7 months in? I receive an email titled "Performance Discussion," detailing 4 of those incidents where a ticket was pushed back -- with inaccurate depictions of what actually went down. They actually wrote that I didn't communicate. One part of the report expressed that there were "bugs found in production due to inadequate test coverage." WTF!! Everything made it past code review and QA. What are you talking about?? In fact, the person who wrote that merged my code in each time!!!! Insane!! Anyway, Q2 is partly about cleaning up technical debt, which is a responsibility I have been vested (fantastic). I've deleted about 800 lines of code in the last 2 weeks and added plenty of doc strings. Two of the most important modules our application works from are about 1000 lines of JavaScript each without any comments/docs. I'm changing that, but I don't know if my managers truly know the significance. Someone was recently promoted to my position but manually wrote out a sorting algorithm (specified numeric indexes and all); didn't do shit to earn it but breathe. And while they get more and more praise and responsibility, I'm over here stuck trying to prove myself and live up to why I assume they hired me. It's ridiculous. I love the company, but I'm not getting any sleep and I'm stressed out. It's only been about 7 months and I've been doing everything I can. Why is this happening? What am I doing wrong? I've been developing a recurring (physical) headache and ticks. My heart/chest area sometimes feels like it's lifting weights. I sound like an idiot, pushing so hard for a company that isn't mine, but I take so much pride in being in this position, and I'm so set on proving myself this early in my career (I'm 25).

My New medication is !AMAZING....
Yesterday went to the Doc (another 100€ sniff) and got a new update on medication...
(check my profile history for the posts last weekend if ya curious).
One of them must be opium or something... I got so high It looked like Opium (I never did heavy drugs).
Now I'm falling all the time, Can't remember much last night and... man... I use/used Cannabis as medicine for years (on and off as needed) ... Still, remember when I could get high... And the highest time was when I learned cannabis it's great to stop suicide (A friend got me so stoned I couldn't move... Even if didn't really take out the tendencies and thoughts to kill yourself, you can't do it anyway...)
But this new Pill... ONLY SHEEAAATTTT...
Only problem,,, I can't really do shit Until my body gains tolerance... and I was doing so much cool ideas in my Office...
Btw, no more Space Again... The more drawers I place, the more stuff gets here...
But I think I'll lose all my energy again for the next months, so, fuck it.

You know what a fucking good place for 1000s of mp4s, pdfs, doc files, exes and svgs is? Yeah, the bloddy SVN,which mirrors to git.
And how about a ibm websphere install zip with tiny 1.3gb?
And of cause you store your fuckin perl and Shellscripts, that have been written by a plain lunatic and that are responsible for installing the crap in the repo.
What? One repo for one component? Nah, cramp like 150 different projects into on repo.
And the most important scripts have to be kept unversionized ... For reasons.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg of shit.
Btw. websphere ships its own apache2.2 and its own security lib and its own openssl compilation, with ibm java ... Filesystem hierarchy standard? Dafuq? If you want to find something it better be like where is waldo - right, IBM? And command arguements? Man pages, usable documentation, usable deployment? How did any of this ever seem like a good idea to anyone?
Go get a koloscopy with a submarine periscope, IBM.

LoL Google, nice doc ever.

This field was deprecated even before it was added.. hahaha

Using style tags instead of making a proper css doc.

Reloaded a page every time something updated @ my Backend instead of doc manipulation.

Please don't kick me out of devRant

Why do all the cool things have terrible documentation?
I'm looking at you Gnuradio and OpenCV!
Doxygen doesn't count if you don't actually write doc comments!!

I am a little bit old fadhioned when it comes to new dev tech stuff. I am at first, not an early adopter ( others should proof it first) and second I like to read books. If there is someone who has understood the matter and has written a book, then I go for it 😁 and third, when I have to use an early technology then the simplest thing is to read the doc to get a grasp what this is all about. Youtube as others describes is lame, because if you are forced to watch 40min when you are just interested in one small thing, you will loose a lot of time finding the relevant piece of content..

Positive on reading is, that you have to think for yourself!

> grep -c -e '// BAD HACK:' importantproject/src/main.cc
4287

our most important piece of legacy c++ software with about 44 thousand lines of code and next to no doc aside from inline comments.

When its saturday morning and you're on a bridge because the migration is still failing 34 hours in and the PM mentioned the vendor doc that he 'trimmed for your benefit' and replaced with his terrible doc, and you beat the original out of him and basically read off the section title "Exactly the error you got and the steps to prevent and resolve" and section 2 "big bold red letters explaining how to avoid it" and you instafix it. #wherewereyouonthursday

After seeing it in a demo, the customer didn't like their first loading gif and they sent another one.
I go to open it to verify it's good and Gimp won't open it; Chrome, Firefox, IE, even MS Paint fails miserably. Eventually I ran file on it and it's an html doc.
So I changed the extension and loaded it up. He saved his slack window as a gif.

That moment during your internship when you work on a project using a framework you're not familiar with, with no doc, and absolutely no comments, and you find a file with 1.3k lines of code without the ability to contact the previous dev

Recruiter: «I have an opportunity [...] J2EE development [...] please send CV in .doc format»

Where is my flame thrower?

Wait this is crazy!
Well I'm not an anxious or depressed type.
But no melatonin pill = no sleep
Worst part is no sleep during the day cause of sun light.

Even taking pills won't guarantee my sleep .
Yes I told my doc and he said "just relax , limit your caffeine "

Have you experienced this?

I’ve been a solo frontend developer for a couple of weeks now with critical enormous features and some bugs to get out the door by the end of next week.

On top of that, I got a backend bug to fix which is fine since I know the stack. The SQL that’s causing a bug is an obvious fix but as a FE dev I have no damn idea about DB structure.

I decide to setup local DB to see it for myself. So as a reasonable developer I look for docs to set it up since it sounds like quite a process after confirming with colleagues.

ANNNND... SURPRISE, the docs ARE NON EXISTENT unless you wanna call an outdated diagram a sufficient doc. Just so you understand the pain, we have 9 micro services, a weird db structure and only 5% is documented.

I requested help from my colleagues, but their answers were similar to docs with a follow up of “maybe you can document it after you set this up”. Barely stopped myself from asking “do I look like I have time for this crap? Why don’t you document it SINCE YOUR SETUP IS READY TO GO?”

So I’ve been at it for a couple of hours and I gave up. Will go back to frontend development since still a ton of shit to do anyway. Tomorrow I will attempt this again.

** this means words are muted **

Friday:
I send a mail the client a Google doc with elaborate details about evaluation of an Android tablet from a Chinese manufacturer.

Monday:

The client is upset, he says "You say there is no GPS chip on the tablet while the manufacturer says otherwise"

Me- "I have clearly mentioned that it has a GPS chip"

Client- Opens the Google doc, points to a sentence. Looks at me like I did something horrible.

Me - **This guys is either word blind or something else is wrong with him, the line reads 'GPS chip available'**

Me- "Look, it says 'GPS chip available'.

Client- **Blinks n blinks again** "Alright, but why did you share a Google document, why not PDF, docx"

Me-**Politely** "You can download the document in any format, look I will show you..."

Client- "It should have been in the mail itself ideally"

Me- **WTH** "We normally maintain a document for such things to keep everything organised, but if you want I will put everything in mail itself"

Client- "Hmm.. do both from next time"

Me- "Alright" **BS**

Client- "Why is the new feature taking so much time"

Me- "As planned earlier, we going to deliver it tomorrow"

Client- "Why not today??" **Gives a strange look.**

Me thinking - **Enough**

Me- "See, I am trying to integrate a smarten with a socket connection, reading it's data via exposed APIs that are hardly documented, we need faster performance so I need to implement caching, multi threading, offline handling, multiple processes to avoid memory fluctuations, sync adapter to sync data...."

Client- "Ok ok ok, it's fine if you give working build tomorrow"

Me- "Ok, fine"

#limit

Talking about PM, I'm still not sure whether we have one in our company. The project is managed directly by a senior engineer.

If we have any question about the doc, UI/UX team sits just next to us. We even have conversations on how to proceed the project to make us more comfortable.

I don't know aboit the others. But for me, this is sweet.

coworker : hey can you test this? doc should be up to date.
me : ya, sure. *looks at vague test case* ... what's the jar/doc name?
(15 later)
coworker : oh it's ___
me : ok i found the doc, where's the jar? do you have it?
(15 later)
coworker : oh i'm building it in jenkins now
(30 later)
coworker : ok it builds (link to jenkins)

how did you not know i'd need these things to do what you're asking? >_>

Sometimes I wish I could clone myself 3 times and start a company. Not that I think that I'm that smart, I'm fucking clueless most of the time. But because it's so hard to find people who freaking READ THE DOC!

Dear Microsoft power bi team.
Go fuck yourself. Put that dashboard up your ass. The documentation for this is a joke.

The doc says I can get my tokens from azure portal. But guess what. The portal is a sea. And seems like powerbi is moved out from portal to its own powerbi.fuckyoumicrosoft.com

What the actual fuck you dimwits. Why don't you document it properly ?
For fuck sake. Go show up your analytics deep into your pie chart.

It's Friday and you're tired. You're working beyond 8 hrs already. Sure it's paid OT but you want to go home. Just finishing the last 10 API endpoints. But you execute the wrong script the overwrite the directory of the last 10 API endpoints instead of the swagger doc generator script. GRRRrrr.... NO!!!!! T_T

Don't you just love it when you get a project with no requirements doc, so you make your own spec and requirements, start to architect and develop the project correct way, the 2 weeks later your manager comes to you asking why wasn't features XYZ not included and how you should add functionalities for A B and C...

It baffles me that there is no option to embed a YouTube video in a Google Doc.

o and btw, yesterday was my birthday lol.

realtalk: if you want me to feel special, dont fucking force me to be more social than on all the other days together, or i will rewrite the year without eightteenth february.

you fucking corksuckers, i dont want to go to that place my grandma (same bd as i) goes to to celebrate. fucking mediocre pizzaria isnt fucking worth it, so atleast give me a choose.
and on the very Least, could you please quiet up? its not by telling me ten times per hour to be more proactive at school that you will help me like school.

o and also FFS WHEN IM FUCKING SICK AND EVEN OFFERING TO GO TO THE DOC TO SEE, FUCKING DONH SEND ME TO SCHOOL ANYWAY, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS JUST BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY

(you just got an insight into my life. wanna see more? i dont think so)

So this happened when I was interning. We were developing an online application for hospitals. Now as it is with any new product. We had a lot of small issues popping up related changing of text or design colors. Now this piss kissing product manage of ours who has had no prior experience of a product of the scale we were developing started posting issues in the company’s internal whatsapp group. It was fine initially when the issues were less and small. However, when the amount and intensity grew, I suggested that he be given access as a issue poster on the git repo of the code.
Now I couldn’t comprehend his level of douchiness before hand but this guy started posting issued there but only a link to a google doc with the issue described there.
Then when came the time to change the status of these issues, I asked him to verify for his satisfaction that the issue is resolved and mark it as such. So Mr. Shitmenot started to maintain a fucking google sheet to maintain the status of issues and asked us to do the same. And upon demarcation he would manually change the color of the cells representing the issue. Like what the fuck dude.
I complained about this to my mentor who also happened to be he CEO but he couldn’t care less as if it was some debt that he owed the guy.
Safe to say I left the company shortly after things started to get out of hand and more shit began to happen. Yes there was more stuff that happened!!!

I just discovered the /usr/share/doc/texlive-doc/latex folder... My god there is so much material in there, gotta love the dedication these people put into their docs

Today was a rather funny day in school. School starts for me at 13:40 because our timetable planners are so qualified for this job.

First 2hrs: Physics, fine its good

Second 2hrs: Discrete Maths (however you want to call it)
Goal is to write a text (30 pages, 10, etc all those standard settings). Teacher prefers Latex over word, but we can do it in word if we want. We could choose a topic, I took primes because it looked the best. I decided to use latex because I'm a fetishist and it simply looks better in the end. A classmate was arguing with our teacher about ides: texmaker vs kile. And I'm like "I use vim". So my teacher is like kk

Later that class, when we actually started doing stuff I started the ssh session to my server because I don't know any good c++ compilers for win and I'm too lazy to get a portable version of cygwin (or whatever its called). So in my server I open vim and start coding my tool for Fermat Primes (Fermatsche Primzahlen, too lazy to actually translate). And this teacher seriously is the best teacher I ever met in my life. Usually teachers are like " dude r u hakin' the school server?" and I'm like bruh its just vim and I'm doing it this way because I cannot code on your PC coz I can't install a compiler. And this teacher is like "oh hey you actually use vi, all cool kids used it in 2000. I first though u were kidding and stuff..." And we continued talking about more of stuff like that and I have to say that this is the first teacher that actually understands me. Phew

Now I'm going to continue writing my 30 pages piece of trash latex doc and hope it'll end good

(On conference call with potential client)
Me: ...yes, you can interface with our system via our documented interfaces, using either JSON or XML...
Client: That's too hard. Can I just email you guys a Word doc or something?
Sales Rep: Yep, we can totally handle that, no problem.

I don't like things like "programming is copy&paste"
But if you think about it... Actually it is: when you don't know how to use a function or how to write a new language you read the docs, copying and using what they say 🤔

Stack Overflow? It's a doc full of examples 😁

Client: We need to support uploading doc, docx, all image formats and PDF to convert and combine everything into a PDF.
Me: lol. No.

No way in hell am I going to try to convert docx to PDF in Java.

Today I tried to make an asp.net app and publish it to iis all without the help of Visual Studio. This is teribly difficult!
Then I had a great idea for website to store my .ppt and .doc files (and other school shit) with mongodb and tried node.js as backend. Holy shit did I really host everything all in 10 lines of js!?!?!!! Comment some great tutorials.

argh!!!! The fucking IT guy just went in and changed shit without permission on the company intranet I manage. It was awful! A subpage would literally have 25 words on it and then a link to a doc that referred to list of files on another subpage! WTF! Also these were not added to the navigation bar either. This is a Google site so easy to fix it but mothafucka jeez!!!

To the old me, that guy that was writing Doc Block by hand. wtf were you thinking?????

How to spend more time writing docs then code?
15m = doc
1m = code

<code>
/* Motor DC + Mosfet IRF520 + Servo
Materials:
IRF520 (Mosfet) + Dc motor + Batery (3V min)
diode (1N4007?)
Changed Tip122 for IRF520: Tip122 has less resistance and produces more heat

Hardware:
ARDUINO = A(port , 5V , GND)
MOSFET = M(A[port] , + , GND)
MOTOR = MOTOR(+ , -)
BATERIA = BAT(+ , -)
DIODO = D(sinal_1 , sinal_2)

MOSFET
M(port) = A(port)
M(+) = D(sinal_1) AND MOTOR(+)
M(GND) = A(GND)

D(sinal_2) = B(+) AND MOTOR(-)

ARDUINO
A(port) = M(port)
5V = null
A(GND) = M(GND) AND BAT(-)

*/

#define motorPIN 8 // A(port)
int loopy = 0; // Loop variable to limit de program

void setup()
{
// Initialize the motor pin as an output:
pinMode(motorPIN, OUTPUT);

}

void loop() // 1 loop == 100ms
{
if (loopy < 10) // Turns motor ON for 1 second
{
digitalWrite(motorPIN, HIGH);
}
else // Turns motor OFF
{
digitalWrite(motorPIN, LOW);
}
}

</code>

We were 4 dudes developing this little disposable material management system for a course in college, and we had to write documentation and present on the last day of class. Second week into the course and one dude goes rouge, not taking phonecalls nor replying to messages, just goes to class and does not get together with us to make progress. Neddless to say the other three of us had to do all the work. Fast forward to last day, all of us wondering where this dude could be. He shows up 6 mins before the presentation, already late, reads like 3 pages of the doc, and decides he will be the lead presenter.

>Mfw he takes over and starts bs'ing the whole thing.
>Mfw he mentions the possibility of the system to be extrapolated to manage salami in a butchery.
>Mfw the professor seemed to have swallowed all that bs like cake.
>Mfw we get an A, including him.
>Mfw I have no face

Wow or wtf to these banks API. was integrating an API for a service which accept JSON input.
Okay fair enough, that would be fine
Spent an hour writing code(purescript) most of time spent was on writing Types based on the API doc. after that okay let me test the API it failed.
I was what happened? So tested the API from postman with the payload from the doc, it worked. What how?
used a JSON diff to compare the payload from postman and the log. Looked same to me after spending few hours checking what is wrong with it .trying changing value to pasting the body of the log request in postman and trying everything failed.
Later went to the original working payload provided by them and changing the order. It started throwing error. I was like wait what?
It must be only on there UAT. created a payload with production creds and hoping to our production server (they have IP whitelist) ran the curl with proper payload as expected it worked. Later for same payload changed the order or one key and tried it failed.
Just why????
I don't want to create a JSON with keys on specific order. Also it's not even sorted order.

Im new to code anybody got any tips?

My big grievances when doing code reviews, lots of code reviews....

Constants. How difficult is to create constants files for reuse and readability?

Comments/java doc. I don't get any help by seeing this is an automatically generated block to get by check style.

*slap*

When your vendor contact sends you example code with a bug then sends the new version as a word doc.

Ehem.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE WE USING THIS STUPID FUCKING COMPANY? NONE OF THEIR SHIT WORKS, THEIR WEB SERVICE IS OLD AS SHIT AND DOESN'T EVEN FOLLOW SOAP PROTOCOL, AND THEY OFFER ALMOST NO SUPPORT WHILE CHARGING A SHITLOAD. WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK.

My conversation with Avalara support (API for taxing):
Me: Hey I'm implementing your API for a client. The requests are going through, I get a valid response back but all goods are taxed with $0. Can you please give me a hint what I might be missing?
Sup: You're using Salesforce Commerce Cloud, requests might be blocked through their firewall
Me: I don't think so, here are some sample requests and responses I just created. The object returned matches the one in your API Doc.
Sup: This isn't a system controlled by us, no support.
Me: So how in the world can it be you don't control your own endpoint?

Seriously, if you don't want to help, next time just say fuck you...

The "senior mobile lead" who thinks writing a Google Doc is a week's worth of work...

What to do against chronic back-aching?

The tips on the internet ain't helpful and the doc can't go out of drunk state.

Working with a vendor's api. Every call is coming back error. Emails back and forth for two weeks, sending logs, changing settings, encoding urls...

From them: oh, this field needs to be unique.

Me: how are you just now catching that?!

The doc showed it to be a specific value. We must be their first client or something.

HackerEarth once got hacked or had some other issues idk.

I was solving this hiring challenge. Suddenly when I opened some page, I got logged into someone else's account. I could see all the details of that guy. This happened for couple of times. I was getting randomly logged into someone else's account just by switching the pages.

I got annoyed and stopped the contest. Later, some random guy called me and claimed to be the hacker and he has my details and started reading them to me.

Ok, I knew something was wrong with the site and the details he was reading were basic details which are shown before starting the contest.

Still, I quickly removed my resume from their shite website and uploaded a dummy doc file.

All in all I fucking felt like I should have cut that guy's throat when he was reading my details to me as if he has something on me. I fucking hate such people. If I find this guy ever, I won't mind kicking his ass to death.

And for the hackerearth, you fucking bitches rot in hell with your shit website. I even filled a feedback form putting this guy's phone number and narrating the story to you. I even sent a mail to you. You fuckers care very less to even respond. Assholes!!!

And all those useless companies use hackerearth for the contests. Fucking get a life! Use hackerrank for once.

A few years ago I had a client that wanted a site transfered to their servers before it was complete. They then took over, making changes to their files. Then they would ask me to change some js and css that they couldn't figure out. Since neither them or I were using source control, I had to add my changes to a text doc and send to them with the file names and line numbers. What a pain.

On call with customer

Cstmr: What version is this?
Me: Can I see the build number plz?
Cstmr: Yeah
Me: *checks against internal doc*
Me: It's version X
Cstmr: Are you sure?
Me: Um...I'm pretty sure
Cstmr: I'm gonna check
Cstmr: *mutes me and spends 10mins finding public version of the doc*
Cstmr: Ah, it's update X
Me: *................* yes

> wanting to add an embed google maps to a website I'm working on for fun, with React
> Check the API documentation, excepted their iframe they create from your needs, not much info about how to set in a a js framework
> decide to check if anyone has already created something with React
> They did! 1 american dude, one polish, one last from idk where
> The rest is basic doc so let's try each of them
> Errors, errors everywhere
> Screens stays awefully white
> Spend 2 hours checking, checking and checking again each library
> Each of them have a different problem
> Fuck this, let's copy the iframe thingy from Google's doc, adapt 1 or 2 things because of React and run npm
> Google maps works on first try

Asked us to build a car and later complain because it cannot fly.
And then, expect us to turn into a plane in 3days?

Thought: Googling and using Stack Overflow is the fast food equivalent of coding. Sure you get an answer, but it's the minimal "nutritional value" you need to survive. Whereas if you had to go through the whole doc to do something, you were bound to stumble on a few things you didn't know, giving you much more knowledge in the end. Does that make sense?

When you are wasting your time trying to make sense of 15000 different approaches for the same task...

and all those github repos are 3 years old with missing steps in the examples...

and official doc is such a mess that only a Time Lord could have the time to filter it...

spent 2 days trying to figure out why my css was working fine on one page but not another. found it was due to the doc type declaration on one of the pages was mad about me not putting height:100% on a parent div. smh

The networking group at my day job, hooooooolly crap I have some unprintable words. But keeping it professional:

* Days to turn around simple firewall whitelisting requests
* Expecting other teams to know the network layout despite not sharing that information anywhere and going out of their way to not share it
* Adding bureaucracy in the form of separate Word doc forms despite having a ticketing system - for no justifiable reason
* Breaking production systems multiple times per month
* Calling in with problems that are clearly network related, being told it’s our systems, and then the problems magically go away even though they swear they didn’t touch anything
* Outright verifiable lies or vague non-answers when they’re not talking to someone at the director level or a vendor from an outside company on conference calls
* Worse packet loss and throughput on our LAN than my home ISP

Doing anything with these clowns is my single biggest source of stress right now. I can’t wait until we get a full SDN stack set up and then we won’t have to deal with them for day-to-day needs any longer.

My boss swears it’s better that we’re not managing the network directly, but I’m pretty sure my friend’s dog could be loosed into the data center to chew on fiber, and eventually the pairs would be connected in such a way as to improve performance.

I've been creating my Typescript/C# projects using SOLID principles. Whenever someone randomly joins me in my projects at work, i feel they need a lot of help. Specially since they know programming, but are not familiar with SOLID.

Like ohhh ok you created a base class for that, or ohhh that method already exists in the base class sorry i've implemented it again, or ohhhh ok you already implemented this method in that class.

The more classes i create the more complicated it becomes, sometimes for me too!
I feel I have to write a documentation for the code I write just to keep up with the different, but code changes/augments so writing a doc is really time consuming.

However if i didnt create base classes or interfaces it would be less complicated to browse through method definitions.

I am happy with the code like that though, but in some specific times it's a pain in the ass.
Comments?

VS Code, WTF is wrong with your tab stops?
I set to 2 and you still use 4.
I say use spaces for tabs and you still put tabs in my document.
Tab settings by doc type? Not existing or working.

Damn you!
Just work

First time work on a project which has big amount of code base. Didn't write any code in the first week, just reading doc and jumping from functions to functions, for the first time I feel so dumb.

not used to this on windows
Operation Successful...

Why do professors need .doc files? Pdf works too. I don't know how to use windows. Give me linux.

After 2 hours spend in a meeting with PM.... My impression what they really want. 😊