!rant

Customer: What's the difference between an antivirus and an antimalware?

Me: *thinks for a second* So an antimalware program is like if you're on a beach with a metal detector. You're looking around for metal that's already buried in the sand. An antivirus is like actively watching people for if they drop metal on the ground.

Customer: That's an interesting analogy.

Coworker: *quietly* That's a actually a really good analogy...

why dont any startup company concern themselves with quality.. oh i hate shipping shitty code.. 😞

Lol 😂 😂😂

<?= 5;

Just found devrant. Best thing that happened this week.

Programmers life 😎 ;

Do recruiters realize how ridiculous they sound saying they're looking for a "rockstar/ninja/big mover?"

give me an actual job title.

When I play "Super Mario" in computer and I wanted to do this game by myself. That's first moment that I want to become dev.

I used Haskell today!

Date a programmer..😉😉😉

DND please... jejeje

Cheers!!

When they say java but they mean javascript

git dammit

when you push to master by mistake

Last week was hell -_-

When my clients expect me to finish the software architecture ASAP and accuse me of procrastinating : Do i really need to explain how thinking works? 😤

The Algorithm

I think Matlab was only invented to fuck with people. Yeah, let's start indices with 1. Oh, and set copy and paste on Ctrl+W and and Alt+Y.
You didn't save your code? Too bad, the network went down and I lost the license.

Thought : God the Programmer

Life is huge bunch of programming code written by God. Where the flow of control depends on how you resolve conditions.

I was explaining git and Github to one of my friends during our boring maths class when he asked : "What is the difference between git and Github?". Just then another friend of mine sitting in front turns out and said : "It's like the difference between porn and Pornhub".

#reallife

My dream is coding with a system like it... 😞

Yeah, so I've got this ball...

Happens every day:
"could you please fix those bugs ASAP? Testers are waiting for it"
*resolve the issue and inform the requester*
(two weeks later)
"Thanks, I'll inform the testers they can begin their tests"

Ugh, how ASAP makes everything seem so urgent and important

Accept it..

When they send you home because there's no Internet in the office.

who all can give me a mb?

I've finally achieved "Inbox NaN" .. Thank you Google!!

CEO was trying to explain his ideas what he wants us to implement. Well...

Cloud Computing