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Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day. Teach a man how to program, frustrate him for a lifetime1
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"Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime." - David Leinweber6
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Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime. — David Leinweber3
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I was just thinking... The JetBrains devs must enter the office and be like:
"Today I'm gonna program a programming program for others to program, and I'll do it on the programming program I programmed last year."4 -
Co-worker: "I wish I understood how this program worked"
Me: "I wish I understood how THIS program worked"
Co-worker: "You're the the one that wrote that"
Me: "Your point?"4 -
Coworker: Can you create program for me?
Me: What this "program" going to do?
Coworker: Hack bank network and send me money. Can you make it for Android?
😆😆😆7 -
Downloaded a program on a friends laptop and started the installer and asked her to finish the installation. She clicked cancel and asked me where to open up the program5
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Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.
Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime.2 -
This is not a rant. This is one of the several "aww" moments I've had with a chatbot I had made which I integrated with Telegram Bot API yesterday.
12 -
My boss: "Do you ever like, not be on the computer?"
Me: " it's my job"
Boss: "oh shit you right. My bad"2 -
Got bored at work today and tried to write a program to do my job for me. Security and compliance saw it in the logs (trying to run unauthorized program) and came to give me a hug.11
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Got a graphing calculator in high school for math class. Needed to memorize a bunch of formulas, saw you could program them in the calculator with BASIC. Sold the program to other students, profit.6
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Me: I probably won't program today.
*go to my room lay on my bed and look at my phone *
Mhm.. *get an idea and go to my computer and begin to program*
Me: okay I'll just program for a bit.. I won't spend all day here.
*23 hours later*
Shit .. I need to sleep Dx4 -
1. Started to program Python 3
2. Thought of doing a little program just for fun
3. Now 1 1/2 years in developing state with nearly 3000 lines of code and 11 modules
4. Python skills :)14 -
Senior Devs made the Program Manager cry. Dev Lead did nothing to stop it from happening, Program Manager Lead was in shock.16
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The first fortune I've read in years... seems appropriate.
"If you don't program yourself, life will program you."
Good thing i do program, myself!
2 -
These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated." -
„If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.“
That’s how I feel sometimes 😅2 -
Yusuke Endoh: This is a Ruby program that generates Rust program that generates Scala program that generates ...(through 128 languages in total)... REXX program that generates the original Ruby code again.
Me: OH MAH GAWWD! WHY!!
https://github.com/mame/quine-relay
5 -
Guys I’ve just added some AI to my program, it only took one line!
System.out.println(“make it just like facebook”);
And there it is guys, the simplest was to add Artificial Incompetence to your program!5 -
When somebody says they know how to program and I ask them what languages they know and they say XML, CSS, HTML.16
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Hello fellow developers! What was your first program? What language and editor did you use?
Mine a calculator in VB.net😍😂46 -
Before starting to program I was impatient with the progress of technology, now that i've started learning to program I'm intimidated by the progress in the tech industry.1
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The whole "‹‹in what language you program?›› ‹‹english››" joke is all fun and games until you realize there's people who don't program in english...2
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I get bothered when I hear someone say "my program is refusing to do x". The program is doing exactly what you have told it to do.2
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I've been working tirelessly on a personal project recently. Decided to take a look at how far I've come in the past 2 weeks, only to realize I've been refactoring and abstracting my code so much that the program actually does _less_ than it did before.2
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Quote, I really liked - “Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.
Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime.” -
"Yeah I code, I've created like tons of games and I bet I'm better than pretty much anyone out there"
Oh really? What languages do you know?
"Scratch"
*anger rising*4 -
Friend : I know how to program!
Me : Cool! What language do you program in?
Friend opens notepad and names file program.bat
You have disappointed me8 -
I accidentally wiped my entire drive because I fed my program the string: C:/Program Files/ProgramName/program.exe Without quotation marks and my program interpreted the space as a new command. It tried to delete C:/Program, and then the parent directory, C:/. I actually posted a “rant” on here asking how to recover data if you want to dig through my history.
*Edit* Actually, no, I must have deleted the rant asking about data recovery. My bad.5 -
Tells my non-programming friend that it's way more complex to program an A.I. that simply distinguishes a tree, than to make a program that adds up for like, a billion numbers...
SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME.2 -
*compiled a program but got lots of errors*
My Solution:
Recompile the program 5 times without changing anything hoping that it will solve the fucking problem.3 -
I don't program because I know what I want. I program because I'm indecisive and I need rand Arrays to pick where I eat today.5
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windows: cant uninstall because program is still running
me: *opens task manager* ITS NOT RUNNING
windows: cant uninstall because program is still running
for gods sake, ill just restart the damn computer4 -
I wonder how programmers make money. And found this answer
One creates Bugs and other fixes it.
Love this programming world 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩2 -
NO FUCKING PROGRAM IS SELF DOCUMENTING. I DON'T CARE IF ITS A HELLO WORLD PROGRAM, DOCUMENT IT!!!
😡🔫1 -
*At a dorm gathering*
Me: I think I’m gonna head back to my room, I don’t know what to do here
Friend: Come on, meet people! Socialize!
Me: *sighs* Fine
You know you’re a nerd when...5 -
If you ever feel that you have a shitty job just remember that there is a programming language called Brainfuck and at least once in time it was someone's job to debug a real program written in Brainfuck. For context, this is a 'Hello World' program in Brainfuck:
++++++++[>++++[>++>+++>+++>+<<<<-]>+>+>->>+[<]<-]>>.>---.+++++++..+++.>>.<-.<.+++.------.--------.>>+.>++.
And here is the same program in the Python programming language:
print('Hello World')10 -
Last year in my first lesson of informatics:
Me: “What does return do?”
My teacher: “If you start your program, Windows will pause and run your program. If your program is coming to the end and hits the return statement, your program will stop and Windows will run again.”
wtf
(I already knew the right answer but I wanted to ask him this question.)12 -
>Be me
>About to finish large-ish GUI program in Java
>Finish coding program
>Be happy that you finally finished
>Go to test the program
> Doesn't start
>Get concerned
>Debug the code for hours on end to find out why it isn't working
>Find that you were missing a semi-colon the whole time
>Yell into a pillow
>Go to devRant to rant about it11 -
Troubleshooting code...
Me: "ok cool did that fix it?"
Program: [same error]
Me: "alright, so can I break it harder?"
Program: [new error]
Me: "now we're getting somewhere!" 🎉2 -
Before I learned to use the gui and they saw a program cli: meh, ok sarcastically. After I learned the gui even if the program does absolutely nothing: wow! You have a future.1
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Given the interest in @MrMarlin's post yesterday I decided it would be fun to make a binary clock.
Here you go:
https://kyran-gostelow.me/misc/...
1 -
What was your first real program or website or app developed by you?
(PLEASE DON'T SAY HELLO WORLD)33 -
If anyone has an object (Domino's) recognition program lying around you might be able to get free pizzas for life.
https://youtu.be/wTdiNmgZ90A
3 -
When you are all assigned to make one specific program but get called out for plagiarism for making the same program even though the code is different. Great job4
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Me: I'm bored this could be handy
Me 1 hour latera
Me: hey this is a fun language and it looks efficient for this task *learns things so that I can do x task in y language*
Me couple hours later
This was fun what now -
I hate being in program purgatory. You don't know whether your program froze, or the CPU is hustling to crunch out those numbers. To kill or not to kill. That is the question. Q.Q2
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Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime.
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Scolded my friend for using Ctrl + V on the terminal to paste text, used the mouse, later switched places with him, ran a program and pressed Ctrl + C to copy, program ends and we switch again.4
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Spent all morning debugging a script I wrote to compare 2 CSVs of tables from 2 different dbs.
It generates a unique key for each row using the data.
For some reason couldn't match 1 in each...
After all morning of debugging and scrutinizing the data in the dbs itself... I found the root cause....
One for loops in the program skips the first entry... -
I'm still studying computer science/programming, I still have one year to do in order to graduate (Master). I am in a work study program so I'm working for a company half of the time, and I'm studying the other half. It is important to mention that I am the only web developer of the company
When I arrived in the company 9 months ago, I was given a Vue project which had been developed by a trainee a few weeks before my arrival and I was asked to correct a few things, it was mostly about css. Then, I was ask to add a few functionalities, nothing really hard to code, and we were supposed to test the solution in a staging environment, and if everything was ok, deploy it to prod.
However, the more I did what I was asked, the more functionalities I had to implement, until I reached a point where I had to modify the API, create new routes, etc. I'm not complaining about that, that's my job and I like it. But the solution was supposed to be ready when I arrived, it was also supposed to be tested and deployed.
The problem is, the person emitting these demands (let's call him guy X) is not from the IT service, it's a future user of the website in the admin side. The demands kept going and going and going because, according to him, the solution was not in a good enough state to be deployed, it missed too many (un)necessary features. It kept going for a few months.
The best is yet to come though : guy X was obviously a superior, and HIS superior started putting pressure on me through mails, saying the app was already supposed to be in production and he was implying that I wasn't working fast enough. Luckily, my IT supervisor was aware of what was going on and knew I obviously wasn't to blame.
In the end, the solution was eagerly deployed in production, didn't go through the staging environment and was opened to the users. Now, guy X receives complaints because none of what I did was tested (it was by me, but I wasn't going to test every single little thing because I didn't have time). Some users couldn't connect or use this or that feature and I am literally drowning in mails, all from guy X, asking me to correct things because users are blocked and it's time consuming for him to do some of the things the website was doing manually.
We are here now just because things have been done in a rush, I'm still working on it and trying to fix prod problems and it's pissing me off because we HAVE a staging environment that was supposed to prevent me from working against the clock.
On a final note, what's funny is that the code I'm modifying, the pre-existing one needs to be refactored because bits and pieces are repeated sometimes 5 times where it should have been externalized and imported from another file. But I don't know when and if I will ever be able to do that.
I could have given more context but it's 4am and I'm kinda tired, sorry if I'm not clear or anything. That's my first rant -
coded a java program in eclipse throws back error .
Know that program is correct.
Created a new project file copy pasted the code, wolaa.. executed.
:/5 -
Today, I found "ClassNotFoundException" in my Java program.
After a long time to figure out the problem, I found that my flash drive which I run program has been removed by myself. Lol -
Nobody in the department knows what an ancient program really does, not even people that have been in the department for 20 years. Yet it seems to do important things.Time to shut it down and see what it was responsible for. Maybe we'll see the consequence in the next year(s), lovely 🙃8
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Finaly I write my first rant about dev stuff.
My mom works as a shop clerk in the optic shop (they sell glasses). It is a small shop run by family buisness (not by my mom, she is only employed there). She had been constantly complaining about the poor pc performance and how the program there are using for inventory managment always hangs.
Her boss decided to "upgrade" the pc's by buing macs, but he was stopped by me and my mom. (I was helping them with some IT stuff so i had a bit of a influence over that).
The program they are using was written by some amateur programer that is a boss of a similar shop somewhere in the country.
So i recommended to them to install SSD's to speed up their pc's, and it did nothing. Of course i blammed the poorly written program next.
The program hangs when you type in the find field. I wanted to check if my gut feeling was right so i asked them to have task manager open when they type. And my feeling was right.
When you change anything in the text find bar, the program sends a crap ton of requests to the local server and that server sends a crap ton of packiets back, enough to saturate the local connection...
I will try to rewrite the app myself, just for the challenge of it. I want to check if i can write a better one than this one pos. They still want to buy better pc's but they wont be any help to them... Well i will help them with that anyway (having good pc's is good anyway). I hope i can create the app that will fix their problems...3 -
Company logic: "we need a new software manager for the program. This guy has worked on every piece of our product. Including as team lead of one of the teams. But wait he has never signed time cards. We better bring in this guy who has been in the company less than a year and is a known job shopper to do it instead."
Long story short, I am getting a new software manager that knows nothing about our product. Fun4 -
Program asks on start if you want to download a newer version. Closes when you click no. Bad enough, right? Here is the fucking worst part: if you click yes it takes you to a website that informs you that the program was discontinued and offers alternatives. So no downloads. So i can't fucking use this program anymore. That I paid a shitload of money for. Great.5
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Here is a personal project I've been working on lately. It's not public, but just wanted to share. It's a custom chatbot I created using a LAMP stack. Its built on top of a framework called Program-O to handle the knowledgebase storage and processing along with some basic NLP. I added the web speech api functionality myself so it supports recognition as well as speech synthesis. Anyways, pretty proud of this one.
7 -
yellow lemon tree sound starts:
"i'm sittin' here in a boring room, just another rainy sunday afternoon, i'm wastin' my time, i got nothin' to, i'm feelin' so lonely i'm waiting for my fucking graph coloring program to finally finishing this fucking piece of graph coloring in which i spent the last four days figuring out what the goddamn problem is and for some reason my arraylists and my hashmaps didn't get along that well and now i hope that i have finally found the solution to my problem and let this fucking piece of shit of program run otherwise i'll get crazy, but nothing ever happens, ... , and i wondeeeer ... *dum dum dum* *ding* -
Immortality in the sense like Matrix did it would be quite handy. Imagine you could become a program like Smith and be able to change your own source code, clone yourself with the same thoughts, knowledge and past.
Well, unless someone turns your machine off.5 -
Company notebook be like:
"1 program still needs to close"
"-----------------------------------"
"(waiting for) Microsoft Outlook"
"Outlook is shutting down"
"-----------------------------------"
"To close the program that is preventing Windows from shutting down, click Cancel, and then close the program"
"-----------------------------------"
FORCE SHUTDOWN, YOU MOFO!3 -
Program stuck in not responding.
Opened task manager to kill the program.
Now task manager not responding. 😑😑😑6 -
Nothing is more frustrating than working with technologies with very little documentation and no fucking resources online. Trying to debug a Program AB AIML project for hours. StackOverflow has unanswered questions.
Few more hours and I will start pulling my hair.2 -
Program: Meets a critical bug, potentially crashing the whole system.
Administrator: Presses the "Emergency stop" button.
Emergency stop program: Meets a critical bug in itself.
Admin: X . X -
Windows ....
program launcher file => Properties => (checkbox,Run as Admin) = true
Now every time I run the application it still prompts => "You need administrator permission to run this program"4 -
Maybe I'm not cut out to program. I have yet to write an entire program start to finish outside of tut sites and still have little idea as to what I'm doing.11
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I hope and pray that one day I'll be able to solve problems and program things I wanna program without someones help or me looking up a better solution5
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Me installing software:
>Downloads installer
>Runs installer
>"Software installed, must reboot"
>Reboots computer
>Opens program
>"Not the latest version, must update"
>Uhm, ok then
>Click ok
>Update dialogue pops up
>Click next
>"Program is already open, please close program"
>Ok Fu
>Closes program
>Commences update
>"Update complete, must reboot"
Please kill me3 -
Interviewed a dude to join our grad program the other day and he had the choice to program our simple algorithm question in any language, he chose PHP, spent a long time coding it, like a psychopath4
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💻 Four months ago. 💻
The Systems & Networks's professor said "You've to do a program that simulate the ARP table, in C."
...
After one week I had done the program!😎 (About 400 code lines)
And the rest of the class?
... One week... Two week... Three week.
Somebody had done the program, somebody else no.
Have an "informatics-stupid class" is funny and makes you look smarter. 😂🔝 -
I hate coding tests for a job interview. I've done three types:
1) university style of "write function that does x" (fizz buzz)
2) this code has a bug, fix it
3) write a program that does this university style contrived thing (exact change)
One and two usually are timed to 10 to 15 minutes per question. Three is untimed but unstated "time counts".
Off all three, the last one is the best in my opinion. However it still seem like we could come up with something better.1 -
Well... I guess I started learning how to program so many years back when I thought I could fix my girlfriend's mood swings with code. Guess what: we are married now and I'm still learning how to program!2
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Hey guys.
Can't find help for this.
I want to program my arduino with my phone, but ArduinoDroid doesn't detect the Arduino while the device detects a USB device plugged in.
Can't find any help so don't know if it's my android (xioami mi A1 Android 8.1, soon Android 9). Anyone who uses that knows?5 -
Just had my first instance of a user solving a program giving them an error message by just not running the program.
That is all.1 -
I want to be able to look at a program and immediately know whether it halts. Partly because that would be proof that I cannot be a very elaborate computer program, and partly because it could be used to answer any yes/no question that I understand well enough to write a program for.13
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Program-
Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property 'addEventListener' of null !
Me: 🤔🤔
Modification
Program-
Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property 'addEventListener' of null !
Me- Wtf!!! Again...🥺🥺
.
.
.
After 6 hrs!!
Realized didn't Linked my main.js🧐🧐 -
There's no bug free program on earth, they say. Well show me a bug in my program
<?php echo"hello world!";?>
😂 😂6 -
My first C++ program was a calculator I wrote on a Borland IDE in high school! The program had a switch statement to cycle through different math operations! I felt like I was creating life! Days of naivety!
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I've started my business in amazon with dropshipping. And I'm using the dropshipping tool extension which simply makes .csv file with computed prices and things from the product search I've made in amazon. But still I have to check all the products one by one and delete the ones which are not eligible for selling. And it takes like 1 hours for 100-150 products and after that I only have 3 or 4 products left.
So I've made a program to automate this by taking the csv file and checking the products itself and deleting not eligible products . And now I'm thinking of selling it. Is it better to sell it with monthly plan like $4/month or to sell it for $50?2 -
I want to get into windows, mac etc. development. So what program is good for making a program like for example paint or any simple program for windows10
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So today in college, working on some C program, wrote a nice program just to get compilation error in header file😥😥1
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Compile and debug program, no local variables show.
Clean project, debug program, build errors.
Thanks Mr. Compiler -
This is stupid but does anybody else program on the bus/train? I sometimes wanna code so bad because either I'm too committed to the project or I just thought of a solution.
I just feel that people would think I'm showing off but in reality, I am just dedicated to programming.5 -
Just coded a simple SDL program after a two weeks break without a compiler error(more than 100 lines) from memory . Something must be missing . I don't trust this program 🤔1
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'cracking' in our language (Turkish) is using the same meaning with 'to break' verb
+i want a program for drawing something and i searched for it. i found a program name, photoshop. do you have it?
_i dont have its files but if you want i can find
+can i install it myself?
_it needs cracking. can you do it?
+why we broke program? i cant use broken program. i am not a nerd. give me health program. dont fool with me
_?!?!?!?1 -
A small program I wrote in Turbo C which attempted to mimic the Starfield screensaver. This was the first moderately complex program that I wrote which drew something on the screen through code.
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me Looks at beta 1.0 of encoding/encryption program
program Looks back
me :>
announcement bet1.0 is here -
I shared my steam library with my little brother yesterday. I almost forgot how fun it is to backseat play Kerbal Space Program.2
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Just wondering. Is it possible to code a program in Whitespace mixing tabs and spaces in another Python program? Could this be called parallel programming by any chance?4
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Hey guys,
do u know a simple and well designed program, that's suitable for a presentation about design? I am explaining UX, UI, IA and IxD and I need a simple example to show my class the components of a program that represent these.
Thanks a lot :)6 -
Does anyone know a good GUI-based file search program similar to "search everything" on windows? That program is fucking awesome! Web search has given me ANGRYSearch, which comes close but has some usability problems. Is there yet a better program I haven't discovered yet?3
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story time
today I learned how to license a git hub project have I finally made it to intermediate developer?
------if Ur interested in a little something I did just for fun--------
https://github.com/vindicit/...12 -
Okay, i have a question.
I am a real Noob when it comes to Java programming. I am trying to establish a database connection between my program and a sqlite database. I have everything ready:
- The Model
- The View
Now the problem i am having is defining the DBController that establishes the connection. And i have no idea how to start?!
Please help me :(
Love yall3 -
*runs CLI program from Explorer*
*program runs fine*
*chainloads CLI program from Python os.system()*
"This program cannot be run in DOS mode."
why14 -
I've wasted hour to fix bug in my program.
Basically there was problem with auto updates system (two exe files - one is program itself, and another is update Manager which replaces old exe with new one).
I've managed to make bug which causes to infinite update loop...
The problem was instead of calling program "helmet_updater.txt", it was calling "helmets_updater.txt"... -
First Program prints : Hello world!
Advanced
First AI Program:
text1.concordance("monstrous")
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,monstrous,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,monstrous, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,monstrous,,,,, ,,,,,, ,,,
#Feeling greate -
I remember codeblocks with pain the .h and .cpp, the pointers sometimes get the memory address that crash the program and program with opengl on codeblocks is the dead1
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How many hours do you program each day? How many hours do you program until you make a break?
I am looking for a way to work efficiently and healthily.6 -
I have to make a program for two equations for someone. I am just really lost about what language to use and what type of program it should be. Any ideas would be welcome!7
-
Got a quick question here. If I have a program that uses the Google Maps API for it's location services, the Google Maps API becomes a dependency for my program right?
Just wondering if the term "dependency" can really be attached to any service/library/program that someone's application might require.5 -
Boss: management needs this applications report changed
-2 weeks later of revamping the program
Boss: So we decided we are going to abandon the program all together. At least you learned some things.1 -
Not quite, maybe almost good?
But I am still trying to get good.
I still read the documentation and guides when I write a program. especially when trying to use a library code within my program. -
Up at 12:45am wanting to program, but can't decide between assignment and personal projects.
coding, nightdreaming -
Aliaz 2.1.1 is out ! 🥳🚀
- BugFix
- Edit a traduction
- Command changing
- Addition of a check box
- And more !
github.com/72y9op/aliaz -
!rant
I am trying to write a program in c which forks a process and exec another program i wrote. I want to redirect output of child program to parent program then after getting that output parent will check some conditions and if they are true then it will resume child program and will do more stuff. I have successfully redirected output of child to parent using pipes then I wrote code which should be read in child program but it isn't getting read. I tried by passing pipe read and write ends as cmdline arguments to child program but it isn't reading. It is blocking at that particular point. Stuck for more than 5 hours at this. Can anyone help me here? Fml :-(
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