A billion dollar company just sent me a nice email template.

Probably the dev missed a tutorial.

DEV 101

NEVER USE PRODUCTION DATA FOR DEVELOPMENT

Biggest dev sin:

I get revenge on idiots (teachers) by writing all my code on one line... 😈

If you let me use your WiFi, I feel bad for you son.
I can see your 99 problems, and porn is definitely one!

😉😂😂😂😂

She said YES 😍❤️😃

Make fun of your manager or system admin by this. Tell me what happen next!

"I made your static HTML pages into a dynamic site! Now just include <%Header%> instead of copy pasting that nav into every page!"

...1 week later...

"You made our website all crazy. None of the pages have headers in the source code but it still shows up by some kind of witchcraft. Put it back."

Why don't keyboards sleep? Because they have two shifts HUEHUEHUE

Shortest freelancing horror story :

No Jobs.

Checking out new editors:

if (editorHasTheme('SpaceGray')) {
installEditor();
} else {
checkNextEditor();
}

Had been to an interview today. It was renowned Bank which was hiring for a position of SSE.

You know what!! I was not allowed inside the building because I was not carrying my original driving license with me. What the fuck?? 😡😠Even traffic police won't ask for an original license!! (at least in India)

Just bought isthisloss.info

I’m thinking of putting a neural network on it to detect if an image is loss or not :)

I commit this here. just in case

Back to college back to bullshit

I remember a bad freelance experience.

It was a sophisticated mobile applications (many UI, many customization, many APIs to integrate with). since the client have many future freelance projects, I give him 3 weeks as estimation time, and one day per week I work on its place to evaluate the progress and sync our work.

I worked hard, the quality was excellent.. but he kept ask for "small" changes and "small" features.. at first it was OK, and I was planning to give him a good example to profit from his future projects.. but he toke advantage for that and the same app extended from 3 weeks to 2 months and more.. he barely added a little to the initial price..

So what I did? I uploaded the code to a private repository in Bitbucket, added him to the team.. I wrote few lines how to sign and publish the app.. aand disappeared.
his luck, I disappeared from the country, I immigrated to another country for best job opportunity.

I just learned a new word that many of you could need:

Fubar - Fucked up beyond all recognition

My new wall decoration at the office:

My friend is interested in web dev, and I'm a web developer. How can I quickly teach him the important parts and get him up to internship-ready level? He's already graduated college, but only really knows the basics of programming. Learns fast though. What do employers really look for?

Is Google Assistant trying to cover up for this?
https://devrant.com/rants/1131066/...

Just a common day.
I received a message on Telegram, a guy wanted a Minecraft plugin for his server.
It was a small plugin, he accepted my first offer of 15€.
After some hours, it was complete. I was pressing "Export" on my IntelliJ but a terrifying message arrived.
"Dude I forgot to say that, can you make it using C++? I heard EXEs are faster".
Fuck dumb clients especially Minecraft server owners!

It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

To the dev/gamers out there, who else is hyped for this game?!

https://youtu.be/lmwxyM3sPwc

I already know what weapon im gonna suck at so I'll stick with that 😁😁😁

Edit: game is Monster Hunter World

Client: We want a contact form on our site that accepts files.
Me: OK. Here are the backend options (custom built, WordPress, third-party service, etc).
C: Mmm... why is it so complicated? A simple form doesn't need a backend.
Me: FFUUUUU Y DONT YOU DO IT THEN! DIDN'T KNOW BROWSERS SEND EMAIL?!
Me: *backspace*, *backspace*, *backspace*
Me: Browsers cannot send emails; you need a backend to process the form.

A guy wanted me to convert his Unity project from Android to ios.

He was offering less than 50$....

It dosent end here....

He sent me the files in a zip on Google Drive.....

Also the project size was around 3 gb......

😢😢

My life is hell

Got selected for in a start-up
Went the other day to finalize things

Bastard of a boss makes me wait for 2 hours
Then calls me and says "I have seen your game and i know your potential,,My development team isn't able to make this app,so I want you to do it alone,,Plus i want it better than out competitors product,and oh,,make for iOS as well"

Someone tell that bastard that unity game development and Android app development are 2 very different fucking things

Surely getting fured with lot of humiliation
😭😭

If you cannot lotion yourself

So lotta shit happened lately, life-wise and i don't know why but i have to share it:

There is a point after depression and being stressed out - it's this "well shit will work out someway.."-state of mind, where you have like an inner peace and everything is fine.

It's nice here.😪

keeping up with the ridiculous job titles, WTF is an "iOS King"?

I would actually avoid applying for that job as I couldn't bare to call myself that, or have others

Define :

Secure SQL

1st post. Not sure if rant.

> Join 1st job after college.
> Desk assigned is close to a senior dev
> Random day, QA asks senior dev questions on something and coincidentally I happened to be working on the same thing.
> Senior dev borrows my system and explains qa something.
> By the end of explanation senior dev had bunch of shell commands written on notepasd on my machine.
> I don't understand jack shit of whats happening.
> QA looks at me and says, "Ping me once."
> I think, "no idea what just happened but must be something related to network ."
> I open terminal and type "ping" and quitely wait for further instructions (address to ping that is).
> Everyone starts laughing their asses off.
> QA guy opens slack, and sends himself the commands on text document.
> I realize what just happened
> Laugh awkwardly with everyone to ease the pressure
> FML

Haha 🤘😂😂