I worked with a good dev at one of my previous jobs, but one of his faults was that he was a bit scattered and would sometimes forget things.

The story goes that one day we had this massive bug on our web app and we had a large portion of our dev team trying to figure it out. We thought we narrowed down the issue to a very specific part of the code, but something weird happened. No matter how often we looked at the piece of code where we all knew the problem had to be, no one could see any problem with it. And there want anything close to explaining how we could be seeing the issue we were in production.

We spent hours going through this. It was driving everyone crazy. All of a sudden, my co-worker (one referenced above) gasps “oh shit.” And we’re all like, what’s up? He proceeds to tell us that he thinks he might have been testing a line of code on one of our prod servers and left it in there by accident and never committed it into the actual codebase. Just to explain this - we had a great deploy process at this company but every so often a dev would need to test something quickly on a prod machine so we’d allow it as long as they did it and removed it quickly. It was meant for being for a select few tasks that required a prod server and was just going to be a single line to test something. Bad practice, but was fine because everyone had been extremely careful with it.

Until this guy came along. After he said he thought he might have left a line change in the code on a prod server, we had to manually go in to 12 web servers and check. Eventually, we found the one that had the change and finally, the issue at hand made sense. We never thought for a second that the committed code in the git repo that we were looking at would be inaccurate.

Needless to say, he was never allowed to touch code on a prod server ever again.

My co-worker committed his gmail password today.

So I "grade" homework for programming 1 students...
Task was to produce an output like:
1
1 2
1 2 3
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 5

...and this was committed!
I really had to hold back laughter...
This looks purposefully obfuscated...

Just saw this comment in our code:

// TODO: think of a better way to do this

Committed June 12, 2012

today the inevitable finally happened.. I put my password in the code and committed to github.

I committed literally 30 seconds before this happened.

Sometimes I name my project "suicide" so that when I do a git commit I could say that I committed suicide.

I committed a terrible sin. I didn't have time for my portfolio site, so I used...

WordPress 😫

> be me
> last hour in office
> trying to figure out solution
> figured out a plausible solution
> write the code
> power outage before I compile

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Well, on the bright side I committed it locally...

A guy who doesn't work on our project anymore, but still checks on us regularly just did this:
- reported a bug
- started explaining what's causing the issue
- realised the problem was in a piece of code written by him before
- fixed his own mistake, committed it and created a pull request

We all had a good laugh.

So one of our devs committed this to master ...

My colleague just committed some code with description "improved some bugs"

...should I be worried? 😂

Took yesterday off to sort out a new passport.
Today on the stand:

Manager: "So we've been trying to get app X running on a dev environment for client X but we couldn't expose it to them"

Me: "Well yeah it's a dev environment if you want to give them one give them access to staging"

Manager: "Oh well we're still going to give them access to dev because they asked for it. It's due for 10am but we couldn't get it to run. You have to get it running since we edited the config files"

*accessing dev environment*
half of config files is missing, random files committed to the repo, SSL certs manually edited, eth0 down and found swan vpn installed.

never taking a day off again.

I commit this here. just in case

Customer is always right.....

Committed to sustainable productivity..

Misunderstanding between the IT Department Staff member and the Finance Department Staff member in one of the establishments...

User: Hi, our printer is not working.

IT Service: What is wrong with it?

User: The mouse is jammed.

IT Service: Mouse? Are you sure it’s a printer, as they don’t come with a mouse?

User: Do you think I’m stupid? I’m telling you it’s the printer!

IT Service: I'm telling you, it can’t be the printer! They don’t have a mouse!

User: Oh really?... Mmmmm... I’ll send you a picture.

Scroll down...
. . . . .. .
. . . . . .
. . . . .
. . . .
. . .
. .
.
.
.

The customer is always right.
Listen to him/her and believe what he/she says.

Don’t jump into conclusions!

Fell like I can finally vent this now I've calmed down.

Me: You've fucked the tree again
Junior: No I haven't
Me: It says there "Fixing merge conflicts"
Junior: Well it wasn't me I wouldn't have done a merge
Me: It has your name next to it...
Junior: Well that commit wasn't there a second ago
Me: it's dated for Friday...
Junior: Well if you hadn't committed to master and blah blah blah
Me: We'll if you knew know to use git we wouldn't have this problem.

*my first day on the job to work on a website used by dozens of companies worldwide and 1000s of users*

me: So where can I find the git repository?
dev: Git?
me: Uh... what kind of source control do you use?
dev: We don't use anything fancy like that.
me: *freaking out a little, I already committed to this job*
me: So then where do you edit your code and how do you back it up?
dev: Oh, I just edit it on FTP and zip all the code every week.

*We colleagues were cursing Valentine's week*

Team Lead : Committed?
Me: No, I am single.
TL: *confused look* Did you committed that code?
Me: ohh yes! I raised the merge request as well.
TL: Ok. I will review it. *Moves away smiling inside*
Me: *looking at screen* *crying inside*

Working with a "senior frontend developer"

HIM: committed this code, and took him 2 weeks before his first commit on our project
var str = ''

if (string == 'String Here') {
str = 'stringhere'
} else if ( string == 'Another String Here') {
str = 'anotherstringhere'
} and so on ...

ME: WTF?
ME: can we do it like this?
ME: str = string.replace(/\s/g, '').toLowerCase()

Maybe he is senior by age :D

You are truly committed to code when your first commit is on 14th feb 🤓

A committed developer...
(took ages to make)

Argh!
I just realized that I committed and ran a migration with a typo in a column name.

We now have a :last_polll_capture_at column. 😭

Time for a commit of shame...

Not sure what triggers me more:

a) the fact that nowadays no one can type/spell without auto-correct
b) that this passed code review
c) that no one corrected it in 12 months since it's been committed

Today, one of my coworkers had to translate a bunch of pages to French ...
He did his job, committed, pushed, and asked someone to validate his branch in order to merge.
Tests didn't take long, the login screen was broken, because there was an there was an <input type="mot de passe"> ...

thou hast committed a grave sin

Don't work late/during the weekend because someone else committed to an impossible deadline. Trust me. It's not worth it.

The first time I ever did a PR on Github, I forked the repo, did the fix, committed the file and put the merge target to my fork master instead of the original repo master.

I then proceeded to accept my own PR and got so excited that it was so quick to merge.

Cursing under your breath at some crufty, amateurish, slow-as-balls code... Checking the repo history to see what sad, soulless sack committed this abomination.. And its me.

I committed a bug fix that was about 4 lines changed but a full day of critical thinking.
The next day my boss tells me, that I clearly wasted company time and that I should be producing at least 200 lines of code a day. When will people learn that lines of code is not an accurate measurement of work accomplished?

Joined a new project at work a few months ago.
Cloned the git project and waited...
and waited...
2 minutes later download finished.
Checked the size it's 2.6Gb
Me: why is it so big?
Senior developer: this project has been under development for 15yrs.

Checked git history and someone committed a 2.1Gb binary two years ago...*sigh*

I once committed the node_modules/ :p
Only once tho xD

So they told me I'm getting paid based on LoC count I committed

TIL if a free fonts website ever asks you to register to download, you can just search GitHub for that file/font name, somebody most likely committed it before.

5 years ago, in my first week of starting this particular job, the CTO casually mentioned they'd been struggling with a bug for years. Basically, in the last few days of the year, it seemed that records were jumping a year ahead, with no rhyme nor reason why. Happened every year, and wasn't linked with them deploying new code. (Their code was a mess with no sane way to unit test it, but that was a separate issue.)

I happened to know immediately what might be causing it - so I ran a case-sensitive search in the codebase for "YYYY", pointed out the issue, explained it, then committed a fix all in about 2 minutes.

I was told I'd officially passed my probation.

(Search for "week year vs year" if you're curious & the above doesn't ring any bells.)

I'm starting to fucking hate the word 'done'.

Scenario 1:

Boss: How's the spec coming along?
Manager: Oh, it's done.

Manager to me: Hey can you get it done?
Me: Why would you call it done? There's a days worth of work and it's only half done. Boss wasn't even rushing it yet.

Manager: Too late I've already committed it. I'm sure it's simple anyway. Just do it.

Scenario 2:

Manager: Hey is it done?
Noob dev: Yea it's done.

*Commits half assed incomplete sphagetti shit that breaks stuff*

Manager: Well done. Completed so quickly.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

Taking "fixing a bug in your head once you walk away from the machine" to a new level.

Fixed a bug, checked it in. Happy.
Go to a meeting 5 minutes later. 10 minutes into the meeting have the sudden realisation that the bug fix was wrong and while it would fix the issue it would break something else.

Anxiously sit there for 50 more minutes not really paying attention because all I can think about is that sucker being auto deployed to our Dev server.

Managed to fix it and get it committed without anyone noticing but FML.

I went on an interview was given an algorithm to solve, solved it in 30 mins and they had allocated 20 mins for it. So I guess I suck. I build shit, I don't do algos that often so I'm obviously rusty.

interviewer: so why should we hire you over a CS graduate.

me: cause I can get shit done.

... akward silence

interviewer: what do you mean by that? like html and CSS?

me: as you can see, I have built large scale real-time web apps with React/Redux (the stack they supposedly use and the position they're hiring for!) the knowledge I have is practical, it can't be learned from books, and it can't be learned from a course. Only building, breaking and rebuilding over time will teach you this knowledge. So essentially a CS grad, who hasn't committed the same amount of hours as I have, can't possibly match me. But they probably can better explain the real world applications of using linked lists...and won't have to Google what Pascal's triangle is like I had to....

interviewer: I see. we will be in touch.

lol well I guess they'll be in touch..

As we may all messed up a (git) repo at the begininng, do you know the surge of adrenalin right before pushing your committed changes or merging branches?

I found this posted by a recruiter and I liked it:
| hired someone that didn't shake my hand firmly during the
interview - he rocked as an employee.
| hired someone with three typos on their resume. - She was
the most detailed oriented person l’ve ever worked with.
| hired someone without a college degree- He was way
smarter, innovative, and creative than mel!
| hired someone with four kids- Never met someone so
devoted and committed to her career.
| hired someone who had been incarcerated as a young adult.
- He's a VP now.
| hired someone over 60- she taught me some tricks on excel
that | use to this day!
Can we please throw out all those silly assumptions and rules that we've made up in our head about what a person needs to
be, look like, have accomplished, and do, to succeed?
In my experience, as an HR leader and as a hiring manager, it's those that typically don't get a “shot” who tend to kick butt
in the workplace!
So before you throw that resume away because they don't have every certificate and degree - or - don't call back that candidate because they didn't give you a firm handshake - think about trying something new. Someone new.

-Look at super hacky code for 30 minutes
-Ask yourself, how did this ever work, guy must have been an idiot
-Check annotations, you committed it
-"Dear God past self, what have you done..."

You ever open some code that was committed a few years ago by an employee long gone and it's so shit you have to get up and go outside to take a deep breath of fresh air?

Nothing good ever gets committed before 12pm.

"We're really committed to data-driven analytics"
Leaves this code in production for 2 years

That time I had to explain the manager (who decided and committed the deadlines) what a URL was and why we need to use a server for staging the web site.

#9

Of course they don't use git. And also they don't use SSH all changes get committed by FTP.

#9.1

When I started he gave me root access and I had to clone the whole fucking thing, wich was about 2gb, via FTP.

#9.2

He stumbled when I told him, that I will test all changes first on my local machine. They were used to work in production.

😓🔨

"- git commit suicide"

I just committed suicide 😱

Yesterday I was cleaning my computer and accidentally wiped out all my dev folder (I got confused with another folder named "dev" that I had just downloaded) and I lost all my work.

Fortunately, most of everything (or the most important at least) was on GIT. I only lost my yesterday's work which was not pushed (only locally committed).

Kids, remember pushing before leaving the building

Commit Message Part2:
6528fff Code was clean until manager requested to fuck it up
241b35f Who knows WTF?!
4381a32 Argh! About to give up :(
c3bf1a9 more debug... who overwrote!
2d68d6d Fixed a bug cause Maciej said to
b112c1a This branch is so dirty, even your mom can't clean it.
bb456d4 Shit code!
4878b46 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
e2c7e87 A fix I believe, not like I tested or anything
f56109f derpherp
e4b8f4c formatted all
3691208 I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
0888b69 just checking if git is working properly...
62741aa I'm too old for this shit!
0735196 COMMIT ALL THE FILES!
09caccf I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
1e1cda8 giggle.
ab70bde Fixed errors
934436d Now added delete for real
5f84e30 My bad
99baff8 CHRIS, WE WENT OVER THIS. C++ IO SUCKS.
953473d final commit.
f0c3b57 Just committing so I can go home
4e5ce4e yolo push
deb4e3b I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
710c06a Commit committed....
3c45e67 it is hump day _^_
4487788 Committing in accordance with the prophecy.
bf86e7e This solves it.
4804f68 FONDLED THE CODE
051d42e REALLY FUCKING FIXED

Let's portray Stallman as a malevolent criminal, dying on the creepiest hill, shall we? Apparently there's even people that make statements such as "if you defend RMS, you're just as terrible as he is".

Do you have any idea what you're talking about? Do you have any idea what the case even is?
Richard Stallman has a controversial opinion about a rape case committed by someone else. Gee, what a shocker, people have opinions. Does that make Stallman a criminal himself?

Oh but he's representing open source software. That's why he can't be there.
Oh yeah. Shunning him (and erroneously so) as another Reiser is gonna make open source look so good, isn't it.

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
- Evelyn Beatrice Hall, writer of Voltaire

People are entitled to any opinion they may have. Just because you disagree with it (and in this case I do too!) does not mean that it can be used to criminalize someone and to ruin their career. That is just wrong.

Got an email...
Colleague A (who acts like he supervises me because he's here longer than than I am but he doesn't) : Webpage is broken. Please fix.
(5 minutes later)
Colleague A : Sorry I didn't pull the *other* file you committed (Yeah I know we're still on cvs...)

Another email...
Colleague B (who really is my boss) : Webpage doesn't show all records. Please fix.
(5 minutes later)
Colleague B : Sorry I forgot check page 2.

That's all my development team. Right, development, not designers, or anything.

FML...

Once had a manager who would refuse to review anything on the basis he "didn't have enough time". Not just code reviews, but also customer comms, support messages, documentation etc. - anything that it's good to get more than 1 set of eyes on. This was a small startup so me working pretty much solo - it wasn't like there was anyone else able to review anything like this.

Fair enough, you might say. He trusts me. Just put it out there.

...but then *as soon as* it was published / sent / committed / whatever, he'd then magically find 5 minutes to glance through it and point out how rubbish / unhelpful / ridiculous the work was, and how it should have never gone out in the first place, and why didn't I read through it before sending as I'd clearly realise how stupid this was.

After a few rounds of this I actually flipped out on him in the office, called him out on his BS and told him to think for 2 seconds about how ridiculous this situation was. In fairness to the guy he did back down, take note and it didn't happen again, but damn, those times were some of the most frustrating of my career to date.

!rant
Our biggest mistakes are the ones we never committed 😔😔

The senior programmer at work commits so rarely that in 3 months I committed more than him in 3 years (e.g. 0 times in September)...

What’s the point of having a repo on bitbucket if most of the time the latest code version is only on his machine?
And why I have to recreate and repopulate the db every fucking time because he made so many changes to the structure, which of course conflicts with mine?

Google/Microsoft: We are committed to Linux and the open source community!

Us: Awesome, so can we expect a one drive and google drive client for Linux or at least well documented API's?

Google/Microsoft: *Unveils random arse applications and services without answering our pleas*

Google is by far the worst for this, Chromebooks built on Linux, getting full Linux application support and android that's built on Linux all have Google drive support baked in... Can we just get a single fucking desktop client... Please!

Boss: this is different from the old console I don't like it

Me: but this has been approved by product management and the team already made estimates and committed to the feature

Boss: Well this needs to change, our existing users will not like it

Me: This is far from agile to be honest, and the change came from user feedback analysis

Boss: You are not doing your work *swears and curses* this is against the team direction!

Me: then why was this committed on this sprint? All I did was facilitate the needs of the team to proceed development.

Boss: *runs out office and starts calling other bosses to boss around*

Runs in 5 minutes later, saying we are not allowed to destroy a feature with enhancements like this.

Me: *Infinite facepalm*

My friend just committed 24000 changes. RIP project ☠️⚰️

Dev: I think I just deleted data I shouldn't have. Can you do a rollback?
Me: No, I'm a DBA, I don't touch data. Did you commit?
Dev: Yes, I committed.
Me: Your data is gone.
Dev: But don't you guys do backups?
Me: We backup the Prod servers. We only back up Dev on request. Did you request a backup in Dev?
Dev: No.
Me: ...
Dev: The Testers are going to be pissed.

How do I even start?
The guy that's supposed to be our extra resource, our go-to person, asked me why node_modules and typescript output files are not committed.
Node.friggin.modules!
And by typescript output files, I mean the compiled .js files. Shoot me now...
All he does all day is waste time! Useless calls scheduled way too early, 'cause IST & why the heck not?

And don't even get me started on his "knowledgeable" colleague who spent 2 friggin' days on figuring out how to find an element in an array.
I mean ok, I get that the language is new and the syntax is different, but boy, how I wish that was the problem! But nooo, her issue was figuring out the damn logic behind it!
Not to mention that I gotta do the code review and she keeps ignoring the changes that I ask of her unless I raise that in our daily meeting and reports stuff as done even before submitting a damn pull request. Also, I gotta shut up and take it, 'cause they are the client's internal resources, which has me ranting about it at 2 a.m. T_T

Ugh...

My colleague is what you would call a cowboy coder. He solves problems with really complex solutions that only he understands and does not seem to care about that the team doesn't understand it. He's super fast and very skilled, but it leaves the rest of the team hanging. He sometimes works at his spare time so things we worked on the previous day can be totally changed the next day without any notice. He has also removed code written by someone else because he did not like it, in secret. I found this while browsing through commits that were committed directly to master without a PR.

We have tried talking to me about this but it doesn't seem to work. He seems to value speed over anything else and doesn't seem to have any respect for other team member's opinions.

What the hell do I do? Has anyone else worked with a similar typed person? He's really making my life hard and I think it's very frustrating. Please help.

There was this uni project where the teacher gave us a project to work as a team (the entire class, 17 people). We were meant to use Scrum, and deliver the first release in 1 week.

Turns out no one except me did the work, and this went on in the upcoming sprints, even with me telling the teacher what was going on.

Then, one day, a girl (let's call her Rose) did a commit to git, and I thought that something as going to change...She committed and push a new line at the end of a file.

After 2 months, the project was done. I had done 4k+ lines of Java EE + Hibernate + JSP code (which was very difficult to me) and the grading came out. I got a 7... most of the rest of the class got an 8 or 9. They did nothing.

When questioned by me, teacher said (it was a group project...)

TL;DR: I did the work of 17 people in a university project, got the worst grade of them all.

Twitch Developer Rig sucked hard and was cropping my extension down to 300px high no matter if it was “panel” which should be this high or everything else.

So I posted to their forum and they committed a fix MINUTES later.

That’s how you deal with bugs.

Fucking Apple... my MacBook Pro committed suicide upgrading from High Sierra to Mojave, had to wipe the drive. After much trouble resetting my Apple ID (put the password AND the two-factor code in the password field.. who the fuck thought that up), it tells me Mojave isn't compatible with this computer.

... fine, it's a 2012 machine I can respect that, but you blew away my system to upgrade THIS WAS YOUR IDEA NOT MINE...

...and so I just try to update to El Capitan or something because I'm on FUCKING OSX LION now (swirling galaxy, so sparkle, such stars)

...and the App Store won't let me. Why?

"Software Update Required"

"To make changes to your payment information, you need to upgrade your Mac to the latest version of macOS."

just.

wow.

Working for a company where the coworkers working 24/7 and the boss (ceo) expect me to do the same, even working on weekends.

But when i mentioned I have life distinctly personal and working life. But no, boss wouldn’t care much about my life anyway.

I got call names for being a not team player, not committed much , a thief (“ I paid you money but you didn’t work 24/7”) and they even claimed I don’t have heart to work.

It affect my personal so much that I can’t be happy even on the weekends. I got perturbed sleeps. Keep thinking of working .

Obviously they played well on guilt tripping me.

Dear Microsoft Kusto Query Language (KQL)

Screw you. You suck like more than a sudden depressurization event in an airplane. Creating your own freaking query language is bad, the people who invented SQL based it on a the principles of mathematical relational algebra, which although confusing, and not suited for all use cases is at least consistent.

You were invented by a bunch of oxygen deprived halfwits based on the principles of sadism and incompetence.

The only situation in which I would voluntarily use KQL as my tool of choice is if my purpose was to extract a Dantesque style revenge on someone who had committed grievous harm to myself and my family members. In that case forcing them to work with you day in and day out would still border on cruel and unusual punishment.

Sincerely, A developer who has spent the past 2 hours dealing with your Lovecraftian madness.

P.S. I hope you choke on a raw chicken bone and no one gives you CPR.

A moment of silence to all those committed ranters whose swag never came. <fml/>

git push origin stupid-long-feature-name
git pull origin develop
*Checks through all changes. No major conflicts. Accepts changes.*
npm test
*4 failing tests, none of them in pieces that I touched for my feature.*
*That's funny. QA was loaded from the develop branch, and everything works.*
*Actual data has dates from today. Expected data has dates from a week ago.*
*examines tests*
Why are all these expected dates hard-coded‽

tl;dr The external development team committed 4 tests that would only ever pass on the day they were written.

How would you handle a noob who hasn't committed in weeks and when he does, gets like a million conflicts.

Single Devel😎pers Feeling:
Even my code are getting committed, But I'm still singl💩.

!rant

Upper management finally caved in to the endless change requests from business and explicitly made the following statement:

"We won't overpromise and under-deliver. With that, we are reducing the committed scope of development work per sprint, but will continue to deliver the same final deliverables by the delivery dates"

So all our compressed project timetables just got uncompressed, and we finally have the breathing room we've been begging for since 2017. Any change requests from business will be (finally) backlogged.

On the other hand, the number of projects have increased to fill out the new extra dev time, but at least we're now less stressed at work. Priorities!

You know it's going to be a bad sprint when sprint planning takes two hours and at the end you've committed to 30% more story points than your estimated capacity.

I am participating in a project i called "Game of Thrones"

We pretend that we are a team, but in reality everyone hate one another.
It took only 3 weeks for Team Leader to turn everyone against him.
He is constantly fighting for power with Architect who is terrible at his job, and doesn't listen to his advice even if they are good.
We hate Team Leader because he is an tyrant, who is ruling from high tower his peasants. His favorite task is to create various rules that everyone has to accept. You have to write "I accept" in a chat but this is the only choice. You cannot disagree.

Moreover there are developers from client side. They "committed" current project which is full of bugs and generally doesn't work. I don't know why they are still working there, but I presume every of them is working for 5+ years, so they are the only ones able to dig thru the spaghetti they made.
They constantly fight with us about the how code should be written, they commits are garbage but they are very peaky when it comes to ours PR.
They always drag our PR as long as they can. Even sometimes pointing they mistakes as ours.

Anyone ever run across some code that was so succinct and elegant, that you couldn't imagine ever doing something like that and start to feel bad?

<Look up who committed it>

Oh, well, damn... I used to be so good at this coding thing.

Accidentally committed console.log("dick")

I'm 2 months into my first dev job. Today, I was working on upgrading one of our products to React 18. Had a feeling my UI changes weren't being pushed to AWS so I wanted to test that. Changed all labels from ".. filter users..." to "shmilter shusers". Committed, then nearly pushed those changes for a PR. There are multiple lines of defence and only a 5% chance that no one would spot it but as soon as I realized that there's a small possibility that our customers would suddenly see "shmilter shusers" on their instances, I had an absolute fit. Maybe it's a "you had to be there" kind of thing but I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard.

Most of the work we do is committed into various branches. Everything is merged into the master branch.

Colleague was on vacation. I was working on a bug that was fixed by him some time ago. All I had to do was find the commit and merge it into the relevant branch. I didn't know which branch to search so I just looked into master. Search all commits on master made by colleague.

All I see is:

"Merged into master"
"Merged into master"
...
"Merged into master"

MERGED FUCKING WHAT INTO MASTER?

Byron (reckful) has committed suicide. He was one of the first big streamers on Twitch and a game developer.

He was suffering from depression and has been for quite some time. He always appears happy around friends. He did "joke" about committing suicide on his last stream. Watching the clip makes it obvious that there was some truth to the "joke".

Also, remember that you never know what someone online is suffering from or how that person may interpret a joke. Be careful and think about how your message is received.

Please seek help if you have suicidal thoughts or even signs of depression. It's not a sign of weakness. We all need help sometimes.

So to start off, I am a hipster. Guilty as charged. A few months ago.

Me and my work's programming team decided to enter a hackathon. Note, I had never stayed awake for 48 hours straight programming before.

It was late and I was waiting on programmer 1 to finish writing a class so I can finish a part of the network code. We were all working on the same git repository, same branch for some reason at the time.

So I started just writing in random comments in the code while waiting. I finally got to complete the network and committed my work.

They both made a pull about the same time and both my boss and coworker turned around at the same time.

I had written a comment
// Ya know those glasses I wear to work everyday? They're not prescription. They're fake.

The look of disappointment just staring me down was absolutely priceless. And the fact that they both read the comment at the same time.. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Judge: Do you plead guilty to the crimes you have committed?
Accused coder: 1

PHP developers will be amongst the first souls to get into heaven because of all their suffering.

But let’s face it, most of them will go to hell for the atrocities they’ve committed against humanity.

tl;dr - My company makes me pass around code over email. Is this normal?

How we fix bugs at my company.
1. Simulate bug in dev env (ok, cool)
2. Get the required code from svn and make changes locally (so far, so good)
3. Deploy changes in dev env and test (yeah!)
4. Take screenshots of fix in action along with the files you've changed and mail it to the respective leads (really? send code via mail?)
5. Keep changing your fix based on feedback and keep repeating above steps (what!)
6. Once approval mail comes, check-in your code in the svn branch for deployment and testing in the test env (QA team)

My question to you fine folks is, is this normal? Is this how most companies work? Passing around code over e-mail? Where the different versions of your fix are just attachments in emails. Or have I committed a sin by being a part of this heinous act?

Qin Chen, a 38 year old facebook employee, recently committed suicide and facebook is trying really hard to hide this.

Apparently he was too stressed out at work and was trying hard to steer things his way, he almost succeeded, but then his manager backstabbed him and left him helpless.

Instead of promoting a better work culture and taking steps against such malpractices at workplace, facebook is trying to hide this incident.

Facebook has to realize that them behaving this way not only insults the departed and his family, but also raises a question that is the life of any of their current employees of any value to facebook, or do they just look at them like workforce and not humans?

Let us not be silent. It was Chen yesterday, it could be any one of us tomorrow.

Gotta love product owners that don't seem to understand agile.

We delivered the set number of items in the sprint we committed to plus a little extra polish. During the last day of the sprint we're spending the time to push all our work to UAT do he can actually perform acceptance testing...

He decides he should chase all of us up on stuff that we never commited to or even mentioned we'd touch.

Had to explain it to him at least 5 times during the day.

The backend people at my old company had 4 files which they all committed code to (they were about 10 people). The only reason they didn't use a single file, according to the lead developer, was that Eclipse could only handle 12k lines per file (or something like that).

Debugging :
Being the detective of a crime you committed !
Agree?

#pardon me if I add wrong tag

i feel like i have committed a spiritual suicide, that is how deeply dead inside i feel

Spent 2 hours last night (leaving an hour late) with the IT guy hunting down a problem that affected at least 12 other teams. It didn't crash the app, but did prevent MANY scripts from working, and thus nothing could be committed.
I found the culprit, made a solution, and posted in the email chain my solution. (it required a code review and a client-side update)
Someone responded asking for another dev to confirm my report. That dev did and them dumbed it down for those who can't understand programming talk. Then EVERY EMAIL after that thanked that dev for "fixing the root problem" and "solving their scripts".
And just now, the PO for the bug was replaced to that dev's team. (previously was my team's PO)

What’s the use of daily sync meeting if you only have three dudes working together and already have Trello to list all the tasks?

And we have to report every single progress in person!?
Like I literally have to stand up and walk five feet to you just to say that I just finished a function and committed.
What the Duck ?!

When you break the build because you committed the 7 .cs files you modified, but didn't manually "add" the new one you created.

"Longest you worked without rest + why?"

46hrs

2 x 14h shifts from 0400h on.
No breaks, toilet, drinks or food.
Intercepted by a removal and all the getting ready, getting there, preparing food and such stuff.

Quite common the 10-14hrs shifts these days. Logistics companies take pride on how they don't give a remote fuck about their employees. .. And! Regularly fucking up everything with their out of this world expectations and assumptions. Only thing stopping such madness? The reality of sailing the edge of bankruptcy.

Seconded by a university event that everybody fucked up and had to be pulled out of the mud with 44hrs straight.
Well. Intercepted by some booze.
Best part? My then time partner decided to throw an episode in my only free time. God I still hate that daemon. She must have committed a series of crimes against humanity by now. Easily could be responsible for the downfall of civilisation.

A colleague just committed his username and password in git. When I kindly informed him, he told me that there are a lot of things on whiteboards around the office that should not be there. Oh, if that's the case, committing your credentials to git is fine.

We all make mistakes. But your response to them is everything.

Just committed a code review change with a heart emoji included, Turns out Crucible does not support this and it broke the code review, Spent the last half an hour trying to change my commit message to fix the review

FML

I just found out today , that my pm had mistakenly committed the email id and password of his account(which he probably used for testing) in the public repo in github.
Although he subsequently removed it, I can see it in commit history.

The point is.....
I don't kinda like him...
Any mean ideas....?

My sister's laptop ate shit the other day and she ordered a new one. She got me thinking about my five year old rig, and how it was starting to show its age, so started half-heartedly pricing the stats I would want in a new machine on newegg and Amazon for fully assembled machines, and was always getting gouged or having to make some kind of sacrifice for another feature.

So after my wife responded to me trying to sound offhanded about buying a new computer by only rolling her eyes, but not actually raising any actual objection, I committed to the idea and started searching in earnest.

I realized that a fully assembled machine would always cost more, be underpowered for its price, be basically impossible to upgrade, be made of shitty parts, and always require some kind of compromise on my part.

Normally in the past, i would go to the barebones section on Pricewatch, order the basic stats I wanted, and fill it in myself after that. But it appears that Pricewatch might be dead. So, for the first time since probably 2002 or so, I'm building a computer in its entirety.

I'm really excited. Everything should be here by the middle of next week.

“We mob every thing so that means we don’t need pull requests, because by the time the code is committed it’s had plenty of pairs of eyes on it”

Well, I beg to differ.
Today I read through some of this spaghetti mobbed code to look into a performance issue. Wasn’t supposed to but bored stiff so I ‘went dark’ and did it without the mob.

After about an hour I figured out it runs a few lines of dubious code and if there’s an error it tries many times over with an exponential back off.
And each run of the methods will fail for sure because of how it’s written.
Someone must’ve seen this problem but instead of realising it can never work, they’ve wrapped it in retries and back offs.

So many back offs and retries that it just sits there doing this for 25 minutes.

But yeah. The mobbing works great guys, keep churning out this quality code. 😂😂😂
Can’t wait to see the back of this joke job.

First week at job as newly graduated from CompSci. And I feel like a fucking monkey trying to figure out how everything works, I have help from the main developer but it feels like I have to ask questions all the time and I can feel the judgement in his voice. Today I committed my first lines of code (phoneformatting) and he basically had to hold my hand the whole way through. I feel like shit atm, I really want to be good at this, I watch tutorials but when it comes down to it my mind just blanks out and I can't figure out how to even write a simple fucking method in php (which he did and my brain just shut down ). Please help me, how do I improve at remembering all these terminologies, I feel like if I keep it up like this they won't have me around for long.

I have the best of the very best client on Earth.

A kind who would flat out reject with most depression reviews to our best and hardly committed work whenever an payment installment date is near.

Today is Day Two of my Dev Ops Internship.

The only tasks I have been assigned today is GDPR compliance training, which I did not realize could be stretched out into so much repetitive detail.

I also sat in a meeting with a dev who committed his artifact builds to git and now needs us to remove them for him.

Also, I keep getting called Dylan. My name is not Dylan.

The moment you find an ex-colleague used code comments to take someones mobile number, then accidentally committed it. It's been there over a year!

*working at a project, currently creating commits and pushing to remote

I created an early PR with a title [UNFINISHED] and [NOT YET DONE]. I'm really not finished yet. lots of stuff still need to be committed and pushed to repo

And suddenly, I find out that my team mate - just out of the blue without any prior warning - MERGES THE PULL REQUEST

"oh hey there are conflicts in the pr you made"

YEAH WELL MAYBE TRY GETTING YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU EVEN SANE

So now what happened is half of my commits are merged, he didn't tell me, i pushed more commits, branch recreated, and then he reverts the merge. so now everything is really messed up :)AS)D(F)AEF)SDF)AW)sfdjsigkl;zfghlkkj ghaslkj;gabsd;lkgjabslkfgh GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS I WANT A PROMOTION

Init Mud. (A poem)

A Giant Ball of Mud.
Haphazard in structure.
A sprawling, enthralling, duct-taped warning,
Of things to come.

Tumbling down a well-worn path
Of untamed growth and aftermath.
Into Spaghetti-code Jungle.

Where quick and dirty wins the day
And warnings spoken hold no sway
Or fall on deaf ears in the undergrowth.

Tumbling.
Gaining weight.
Bits stuck on.
Bytes taken out.
Patches,
On top of patches,
On top of obsolescence.

Hacked at, uploaded
All elegance eroded.
Made and remade
Then duplicated
Relocated
Refined and redesigned
Suffocated by expedient repair after expedient repair
The original self no longer there
Replaced by something
Unwieldy.

Design resigned to undefined
An architectural mystery
Whose function can no longer be
Seen or gleaned
From obfuscated in-betweens
Of classes
Made and remade
Duplicated.
Abused.
A squirming library of disused.
Pulled at, prodded, committed
Corners cut and parts omitted.
Bug ridden branches fused to a rotting core.

The structure...
The system...
The content...

Mud.

It is easy to believe something is over-engineered as a junior. You open a solution and get slapped in the face with a wet fish of many classes, with strange names, doing very little, with everything coming together in ways you don't understand.

My advice is to learn about design patterns, clean code, clean architecture, and model driven design. Until that point I don't think you can make such a distinction. And indeed once knowledgeable of patterns and techniques as well as the domain, the same solution can look obvious, elegant and readable.

In a field where everyone is saying 'dont over-engineer', one must be able to tell if something is actually bad, or just uses techniques you don't recognise.

Telling your senior you think something is over done just because you don't understand it is not good. First learn techniques, understand the code, then form opinions that are at least relevant then.

From someone who committed that crime.

Committed production DB info in a config file to a public Github repo 5 hours ago. Just realised it now. Woops.

At first it seemed harsh, but then I learned that he committed code like

if (a == b)
return true;
else
return false;

F**k the education system. We have a project for each programming subject to which I am committed. Adding upon that, a startup company shows up from nowhere, with their mainstream project which is to be completed by students and in return we get a useless certificate for completing their modules. And the worst part is that they have kept it compulsory.
I don't know who is going to benefit more, the college, the students or the company.

I'm in a grumpy mood until I've solved a bug and committed that shit.

On a non-Dev forum about a hobby topic, someone felt the need to go all woke about certain famous creators in said hobby. Particularly that those creators have ideas and philosophies antithetical to the (ever shifting) ideals of wokeness. And that everything those creators made should be destroyed and never allowed to be portrayed or discussed in public again. In the name of tolerance, of course.

If this starts to happen to the dev world to the point that I can no longer earn a living because it has become known that I have possibly committed or might commit Thoughtcrime because of who I associate with, I will be glad to see that asteroid, polar flip, or worldwide EMP reset. Because humanity can’t progress if no one can write, sing, play, or make something simply because they are not woke enough.

Two brainfarts that resulted in... a lot of pain

I had been coding all day, ~6hrs. I was in the zone, so I hadn't saved to git. It was all uncommitted changes (you see where this is going...)

Brainfart#1: The code used the "Contact" class, but for some reason my hands typed "Product" in this ONE line.

Brainfart#2: I became aware of Brainfart#1, so I changed the variable from "Product" to "Contact". However, I instinctively pressed F2, "Rename Symbol", instead of just changing the variable I was using. Now ALL of the references to "Product" were to the "Contact" class instead, across all of our code.

I finished coding. I committed and pushed the changes, closed the IDE, and left the desk for a snack. When I came back, the automated tests were failing due to an import error. That's when I noticed my mistake. I couldn't do Ctrl+Z because I had closed the editor. I had to change the names one by one across all of our code. "Contact" and "Product" are probably our two most used classes 😭

What dev crimes have you committed?

My lead always steal my work and showcase it has his work to the manager. I always look for a chance to trap him in front of Manager.

One fine day, He gave me an work which has to completed on Monday, I sit over the weekend and finished it’s but partially committed it.

He is a blind thief, As always he says that he himself completed over the weekend.

While running in front of the manager they face huge issues because it’s a half cooked product. Manager purposely sent an email to our team without mentioning the name of my lead.

After few days my lead silently put paper and left the team.

Today's shit list, compiled from multiple random apps:

* Your subscription renews without an email in advance (no time to cancel)

* Your chat bot asks me twenty questions about why I want to cancel my membership, then sends me to a live agent, who asks me the same damn questions.

* Your app emails me my password in plain text

* Meeting agenda squashed by execs:
"We don't talk about _____, but we're committed to transparency."

Made this amazing discovery in my project. Made sure to commit the code in Git to show a demo to the manager.

Could not find the code at all when it was time for the demo. Checked all the commits to find out, nope, no luck.

Later realized I committed that code to special branch :/ And I totally forgot about that :(

lead dev: hey, I just committed but can't push

me: you need to add a remote repository, you don't have any yet

lead dev: what you mean by remote? 😕😕😕

me: explain what "push" does.

lead dev: ( with didn't get it expression ) hum...

me: (I think I'm in the wrong place) 😐😐😐😐

So I started using Git! So far, I've committed my .gitignore file, whatever that is... And I can't get anything else to commit....

I'm gonna commit....

I dare you to show what sins you committed when you still were a newbie to programing.

Mine is below.

Some years ago, I committed to master...
Please don't judge me.

TFW when you do a git reset HEAD --hard because nothing works anymore for unknown reasons, and the moment you press Enter, you realize that you havent committed or pushed any of your work for the last three days or so...

Just made few changes to few files and committed with

"Temp hacks" as message 🤫

I committed to some work I probably should have turned down. Great people and enjoyable work but I agreed to a good hourly rate but I have a cap of 20 hours a week. I keep putting in extra hours that I don't get paid for. I want the work to be good and don't think it can be completed in 20hrs per week. The work involves mentoring others and I just can't leave in the middle of helping them. My husband is fed up with my wimpyness. I am putting off a project we are working on together to do this work. The contract will be over in 3 months. What do I do?

When refactoring legacy code and your colleague committed this a week ago... As punishment we made him listen to "You're too fat to fly" all day long.

most memorable bug I fixed

Line 1:
- throw new Error(‘test’)
+ // throw new Error(‘test’)

yes, this was committed code in production

Have you ever committed to an impossible deadline simply because your client would have been completely FUCKED if you didn't?

this would have been remotely doable if the existing code base that was handed over was just mildly reasonable. But how could this shit ever have worked the first time?!

Gilfoyle would just have said no. Why can't I be more like Gilfoyle >.<

There was a task to upgrade, refactor and rewrite azure functions project. It was assigned to guy who was about to leave the company. After 2 weeks at his last day at 16:50 he committed the changes. He literally copy pasted the old project into new file structure and left the building. FUCKING ASSHOLE.

When another developer has put a "Yolo" production log in de codebase and committed that to the release branch..

Global variables destroyed my day

Of course you can call me a bad programmer and all. When you have the idea, sometimes globals make it seem easy, accessible and "saving resources". They are devils.

The app was connected to a suite of applications. So I ended up silently destroying it neighbors. I committed and pushed the shit. Just when the testers made their weed high smoke tests, a server stopped working.

I got an email that boss wanted the latest version, I reverted the wrong branch, which had code unrelated to its name, pushed shit again and voila.

I went to the bathroom and laughed. I had to take a smoke. I'm still laughing while typing this. The damage is too much and I can't help it. I'll go home, leave this pc on and work remotely through the night. It might be the hysterics speaking now, but I messed up, and I need magic by friday morning.

Sooooooo…. The other day I committed a change with this message:

“Committing the ultimate sin in committing secret keys again however this repo is and will always be private and my pis will be hidden on my network so it shouuuuuuld be fine... right...”

My "senior developer" colleague just committed 300Mbs worth of node modules in addition to static files bundle. So not only I have to wait 20mins for the changeset to download on this god damned internet over barrels connection but also resolve merge conflicts on 100+ files. You think that was a mistake? Oh no I've asked him about it and it was intentional ...

I committed my credentials and pushed to GitHub once. Took me a week to notice. Luckily it was just a personal project and no one noticed.

Got told 2 weeks after interview that I came across as "money-oriented" by a company which gives a graduate salary which is 25% above average. They thought I'd only do what they told me to do and nothing more.

Sure, that's why I've achieved 15% above a first throughout my degree whilst not being paid a penny: I'm lazy and in it for the money.

The main reason I wanna be paid well is so that I'm less likely to be surrounded by people who aren't that committed to doing a good job. And if I am surrounded by slackers, at least I got some cash to wipe my tears with. If that makes me "money-oriented" then I'm stuck for ideas.

I think the worst time was when I worked on a work project through the night. It was at my previous employer, I was forced to work on legacy php projects I knew nothing about. Nobody could help me and I was always doing days over tickets which were just a pain in the ass in an old magic framework and a custom build cms :c.

I couldn't motivate myself for days and eventually when the deadline came I worked through the night and committed in the morning, then I jumped into bed. I realized that this was a big sign that I really had to quit, and switched companies several months later.

Spent the day refactoring a REST app into graphQL, that feeling when all tests are green and everything is committed and merged 😧🤓

So we have this project that we are hosting on our testing server for presentation purposes ( already provisioning prod server ).

Our boss was presenting it to investors and my superior committed a bug there and was asking me help to figure out how to fix it (yeah.. he doesn't know how to checkout last commits in git... fml), and I realised the presentation might still be going on... so I asked: isn't boss showing it to investors?

superior: lol, idk maybe.

me: right... ( I proceed to roll back changes ) bye, have a good lunch.

And here I am having lunch considering my life choices.

Project lead: We need you to do overtime tonight, we can't pay you but we have pizza...

Me: Again?

Project lead: We just want you to be committed to the product

Me: *crys into hands*

Your mama is so fat that git couldn't keep her life committed.

I might have just git-committed the cardinal developer sin: not multiplying estimates by 3. Torvalds help me!

So a php app I developed a few months ago when I was first starting as a dev needs an upgrade. Pretty simple since I've known about said upgrade for a while, but the feature was never needed until today.

Told my boss it would take a day or two of refactoring and additions for it to work.

How screwed am I?

Debugging an old C module, committed (like a fucking crime) by some guy who really wants to show how uselessly complex stuff he could do... Fucking nightmare!
Last time I did this kind of job! If I had known his address I could have crippled him!!!

Thought my OS broke having a week of work..
After a mini heart attack I committed my progress.

Confession!!

Ohh Lord, Please forgive me. Today I committed a sin and tomorrow I will have to commit it again. I wrote a shitty code and will have to write it tomorrow also. I am so ashamed of myself. I promise, I will refactor the code before releasing it for code review. My excuse for doing the sin is that I want to make it work first, it is little complex. I hope, if someone will stumble on it, then that person will not judge me by few shitty snippets I wrote to make it work.
Thanks,
An embarrassed programmer

I just finished this app I was working on, an app which I was supposed to be working on with a friend who never committed. It pisses me off that he didn't put in any input. We were supposed to work on different parts of the app. I had everything planned out, on how to make a certain function. But right now I'm just happy because I have no idea how I got it to work without the functions and at this stage I don't wanna check ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

today:
Committed my code for Code review
solved 23 Merged Conflicts
Fixed 65 Load project Error.
Fixed another 8 Compiler errors because of mistake made in Merge conflict.

I wanted to do coding today... I really do..

When I accidentally committed my Firebase Admin SDK to my public repo.

Sometimes when I piss it goes on and off again, like 1s and 0s. If I put that in code it has less bugs then the shit you just committed.

I committed a sin for which I can never forgive myself.

At work, we were using some react plugin but it was lacking some functionality.

In the end, I forked the repo and released plugin on npm -_-

FML, I contributed to this stupid shit while I was happy with despising over this stupid framework fad from other side.

Ps: It was friday.

Coding experience #1
Even if I can't get committed in real life I make sure to get my code committed daily.

Worst argument/fight was on a game I was working on.

One of the other devs was waiting for me to write some server Code before calling the endpoints on the client.

After writing the server Code I added the client side Code and committed it to our repo.

They had a massive go at me for doing work for them and threatened to remove my Code and replace it with their own code.

Mixing PHP and HTML code with a bunch of if-elses, creating a docker-compose script thats uses the remote database password (and its committed) and set API calls to IP fucking addresses with no explanation. Just make POST requests to undocumented APIs.

How the fuck are these people allowed to code?????

I fucking hate myself for having this bug in the first place, I thought I had it solved, committed and pushed to git but still, it persists.

I'm trying to check if the value I'm inserting into the database exists or not, this is my useless fucking way to do it...

What the actual FUCK.

I'm in my own existential pain trying to solve this shit and it's still not working

SEND HELP PLEASE

If your project gets fucked up beyond repair, for example by your IDE (I'm looking at you, Android Studio) try this:

0. Backup any ignored but essential files in your project (e.g. secrets) outside of your project directory.
1. Close your IDE.
2. git clean -xdf
3. Restore any backed up local files.
4. Reopen the project as a new one in your IDE.

This is awesome, because it cleans up everything non git and not committed. So any local project files configured by your IDE will be nuked, which allows for a clean start. Also, all your locally committed work is preserved.

BTW, if you really need to start over (even with git), then just remove all the things an clone the remote repo again.

Is there a limitation of how much I can commit in git each day in a separate 'feature-branch'?

Cause, I had to explain to a team member (somewhat senior than me) why I committed 9 times in a single 8 hours task(s) (according to him where it was two separate tasks done in a single day).

When I said, I prefer to save my progress in a small commit (at least try my best to write meaningful commit)", I turned out to be a stupid team member. 😔

What's that? You committed the tmp/dist/cache field for something only YOU run locally and asked me to review it. Just GET OUT.

Committed a crime today.
BTW made possible by:
File>/usr/bin/commit
#!/bin/sh
str="$*"
git commit -m "$str"

Going back to a project from a few months ago, a fellow dev has committed 'test this' comments with my name...
Hitting up git blame shows my tests were written 2 weeks before! If you're gonna be passive aggressive, at least do it right :/

All I did was press Ctrl + Shift + O & Ctrl + Shift + F on the eclipse package manager, just before commit. It ended up changing 122 files with 12640 additions and 13916 deletions...

Somewhere within these files are my actual changes which need to be committed...

I am not leaving work at least for today !!!

The deepest and darkest circle of hell is reserved for people who write single line commit messages which have nothing to do with the code they committed

I had fixed an issue that took me 2 hours to figure out, then committed the fix. Only to realise that I committed from an external folder (svn)
I messed up somewhere and my fix was gone.
Fuck me. Fuck externals, can't wait till we switch to git.

Windows bluetooth audio is nigh unusable.

It is not unrealistic to believe that someone may walk out of range of their bluetooth connection, causing the computer to lose connection with the device. But for Windows, it's as if I had committed an act of negligent malice. I sometimes have to fiddle with my audio settings for a minute or two before I can make it work again.

There is a half second delay before the audio is actually sent to the device if there hasn't been any audio playing for 3-4 seconds, making listening to albums unpleasant. There is no reliable way to turn off bluetooth power saving. The best you can do is play a silent mp3 in the background at all times to trick the OS into treating your bluetooth device like it belongs.

And sometimes bluetooth audio just stutters and cuts out at random until you restart your computer.

My manager committed an empty Jenkinsfile on his project (he loves committing empty files or docs with words "TODO" in them). I decided to add the project to Jenkins so at least he sees a red X and failed build on ever branch .... green check? An empty Jenkinsfile is a valid Jenkinsfile?! Damn it Jenkins!

The compilation result getting me a smile

"Committed finally"

Last night I talked to a friend I hadn't heard from in a while. She visited the city I'm in two years back with her boyfriend. She had a brain injury recently. Her boyfriend and her broke up. She doesn't feel anything towards anyone anymore. She asked me if I knew anyone who had committed suicide. I named all of three of them, and two overdoses which may have been intentional. I will never forget them. She asked a lot of questions about suicide.

Hi there everybody! Just joined the community, an aspiring Java developer (just started learning a few months ago so I am nowhere near calling myself a "Developer"). I'm committed to becoming a developer, and I am trying to join every community and every conversation out there possible to immerse myself as much as I can. Any advice, guidance, people/conversations here to look out for, anything that will help me in my Journey would be greatly appreciated!

God damnit! It's been a while since I lost changes. Let alone saved changes! (I'm a ctrl+s presser)

I committed my changes in git (through the VS team explorer). I got a nice error message saying that an exception occurred. I clicked "OK", as though I accepted it :/ didn't have a choice.

Then gone. All my changes since the commit before that. Only an hour work, but still. It was hard work.

Ctrl+z of course didn't work haha 😥

Im on a Team Project on my University, I'm so salty because a girl on my team yesterday got angry with me because I committed when she was working on something, and that she doesn't like how I code.

2 hours later she made a giant commit with so many unnecessary code and removed working functionality and changed to a nonsense interface all because she was mad with me, now the code doesn't work and it's ugly and she is mad.

I cannot handle it 😭

"Oh, you committed at a top level? That's alright I'm going to make you revert at file level, all 10 files in 4 directories. Oh and I may just keep one or two with your changes just for old times sake."

- my conversation with SVN

Does anyone else feeling chuffed with themselves after seeing complex code committed?

Hi guys what is the meaning of double back slash in my Git folder? It is not removed when I do a "git clean -fd". This is the first time I encountered something like this.

$ git status
On branch master
Changes not staged for commit:
(use "git add <file>..." to update what will be committed)
(use "git checkout -- <file>..." to discard changes in working directory)

modified: some/folder/hello.php

Untracked files:
(use "git add <file>..." to include in what will be committed)

"\\"

no changes added to commit (use "git add" and/or "git commit -a")

Finding weird stuff that previous devs have done #302:
- they "branched" by manually creating a folder in svn repo then copy pasted in a ton of files from elsewhere... Then committed the lot in one go.

End result: an orphaned branch that confuses repo migration tools and not having any idea what they actually changed...

"You shouldn't mark things as done if they aren't. It's only done when I can see it on the server and demo it."

Well, I just demoed it to you, you prick. The fact that it's not running on a server is because that AWS endpoint we have there is no where near being able to be called "staging" even, mainly because the other dev on the team hasn't committed their work in 8 days, let alone push it to said server. Data models have changed, APIs have changed, hell, the god forsaken Sahara desert is now green and blooming as far as I'm concerned.

So instead of trying to look smart to your boss, why don't you ask first you obnoxious waste of organic matter. Stop breathing our oxygen for once. There are more useful things to do with it.

Done it once or twice when finishing up a feature for a presentation/delivery the next day.

I'm leaning on the side of Not Worth It because I'd rather not be sleep deprived and dumb in brainy brain when interacting with the client and demoing my other stuff.

I guess it's usually when my perfectionism flares up that I'm likely to do stuff like that.

Will consider an all-nighter if it's reeeally necessary but there's few scenarios I can imagine where that is warranted. Maybe when working on a very serious security flaw or something of that nature. Most stuff can wait a couple of days...

Edit: goddamn I guess I committed the sin of not really answering the question. There's no story here. Boooo. Permission to hate myself, captain?

Have you ever felt like you're too committed to your job, even though you'd be doing basically anything else? Yeah, me neither. That's why I spend the last two days and nights on writing a suite of smoke tests for our system.
Here's basically all the work hours I wrote down, during which the majority of the time I was writing the test suite. If anybody's curious about Wednesday, let's just say that decisions were made, and baggies were emptied.

I went to a vacation leaving my colleague a working code that she was supposed to use and commit as is. Coming back a week later the code is unrecognizable, not committed and doesn't work. Now I need to fix it again while she went home. Plus I hate it that we're forced to use svn, the change is 40 files strong already.

In my first dev role I commented out the code for sending acknowledgement emails when a user placed their order, and didn't realize when I committed it. It got pushed to production and we found it a week or so later.

Was probably a factor in me getting sacked from there.

Kind of a coding error. My git status was full of files I haven't committed, and I wanted to clear it.

I took a guess and thought 'git clean' would do the job. Stupidly I was in my documents directory, and I then said goodbye to all my documents... r.i.p.

I have officially committed digital suicide on linux. Where is my badge?

Committed for weekend?

Woke up early. Drank coffee and my mindset is so ready to do some work. After 30 minutes I'm so sleepy like a literal crash down and will sleep now. Body why you do this? I hate night shifts. It destroys my body clock. I hope weekends and mall hours are night shifts as well.

Also I hate company internal system project when I am assigned to a client and the client don't know that. I can't tell it to the client and my company can't tell also because my hours are 100% committed to the client.

The day when you wake up and realize you have committed to building a ecommerce solution, crm & a form management system.

When you are more committed towards package managers, than actual coding!
Pip, apt, yum!!!

That fucking glorious moment when you fuck up your code and want to reset it to the last commit, only to realize that you haven't committed shit for the past 4 days and worked entirely local...

We had a meeting where all the devs on a large sprint team were told they must attend late that evening. The gist of that meeting was 'well done your all working hard and done some good work but we have over committed so work harder!" but they took an hour and a half to make the point.

It is with great sorrow I am announcing that an Apple Watch can catch fire while on your wrist. I bashed Fitbit very hard for this when they were giving people burn scars for life. Collecting and selling data is one thing, but mutilating bodies because of negligence and wanting to save a buck on manufacturing is a whole another thing. It seems like Apple is not much different.

I am struggling with body dysmorphia, and I told you out loud that if a Fitbit device gave me a burn scar for life, I would've probably committed suicide. I still stand by these words. My body integrity is a big deal to me. Having a scar due to my own negligence, like mishandling a knife, is one thing, but the concept itself that some fucking hustle culture startup can mutilate my body is another thing. It scares me.

I am considering to abandon any kind of wearable electronics altogether. The cost of failure is just too high. I'm probably going to get a mechanical Timex or a Seiko.

I felt inspired when I found out about Minecraft mods when I was in elementary school. I thought they looked so cool. I then went and actually bought a Java reference book but I never made any mods. Because Counter Strike came into my life and well I wasn't too proud of myself. But now I've quit CS:GO and I'm now committed to learning programing and I love it!

The fucking release process. We release weekly which is stressful for both Devs and QA’s. Everything should be committed/promoted in our DVCS by Thursday and should be verified beforehand. The problem is, QA’s doesn’t take development builds, they only want to take whats fucking next in release. In other words WE. FUCKING. RELEASE. UNTESTED. SOFTWARE.
Man, BA’s have it easy on our team.

Saw code in one of my files at a WIP merge request.
Wanted to add something to fix a bug.
Added, tested and committed.
Pushed.
Wondered why my change wasn't listed in the "changes" section of the merge request.

Turned out that I accidentally edited a file that had the same piece of code where I wanted to add something.
Well, lucky me! If I wouldn't have been editing the "wrong" file accidentally, i probably would have spent hours of debugging only to find out that I am actually in the real wrong file.