This post is in memory of all the devRanters fallen in battle against management stress and impossible deadlines.

Let their memories remain, and their loss never be forgotten.

People on stackoverflow are really just the worst. Ok whatever, you have 20 years of experience more than me, and you've written code in dozens of languages. Doesn't grant you being a dick to me and downvote my answer just because it could've been written in 1 line instead of 5.

Everyone's asleep.

I'm not tired, and coding sounds like the best thing ever right now. Figured out a solution to that blocking architecture issue, too. So: headphones on, blare Amon Amarth and Disturbed, bring up editor. It's time to work on that side project!

Best night in months.

My first ever salary made with coding came yesterday! 🎁

Source Facebook

I think I've been inspired...

What the crap is it with job applications and requiring freaking videos now?

I'm not some social butterfly that wants to be all friendly with everyone and a part of their goddamn lives. Give me a problem and/or some code and I'll happily make it work; give me an extrovert with a goddamn video call fetish and I'll fucking leave.

I'm an engineer, not your salaried girlfriend.

"Oh no this platform is serverless"

I hate this "serverless" term.

How does a cloud platform run serverless?

HOW?!

"yeah but like we don't have to run updates and manage the underlying stuff and can thus deploy stuff serverless"

NO.

THERE ARE ACTUAL SERVERS RUNNING IN ORDER TO RUN THIS PLATFORM.

YOU CANT RUN THIS FUCKING PLATFORM WITHOUT ACTUAL SERVERS.

HOW WOULD IT RUN THEN, ON FUCKING STARDUST?!

IT. IS. NOT. SERVERLESS. AS. LONG. AS. SERVERS. ARE. INVOLVED. AT. SOME. LEVEL.

That moment when a virtual machine on some unix derivative becomes the new gaming platform

Rare footage of me waiting for my Kubernetes cluster to start.(2018BC,colorized)

You know you're too drunk if you run a fork bomb in your phone...

Ps: i did it soberly

Those LAN port splitter are getting out hand

When your boss decides to adjust the website you've spent 20hours+ on, fucks up several parts of it and then a) Doesn't tell you about it and b) Doesn't even attempt to fix it.

This is why I want to go freelance... And hate people...

what is your favourite quote for programming?
This is mine :Truth can only be found in one place: the code.

there is nothing more annoying than plugging the usb cable to the real android device for debugging, but if you move that cable 1mm the whole fucking connection breaks, the beep sounds of connected/disconnected phone rings, the fucking laptop explodes, phone explodes, dick explodes, the house gets on fire, my dog gets on fire, i run out of house while burning in flames alive and the whole house fuckin explodes like a nuclear bomb

At work today.

Collegue: hey, if you continue like this, you'll be just like me in a year or so!
Me: as, so completely fucked up?
Boss: hahaha rekt!
C: okay gotta give you that one 🤣

Love those random moments :)

I think I am tired.

I almost did a switch-case on a boolean.

I was absolutely angry, my ego had been wounded. I had built the entire product from scratch, while my bosses just clinged onto one feature that i had not done.

It wasn't even going to be used i knew that and hence was slack. It also required a lot of algo writing.

Post the discussion i decided I'm gonna take out my hurt ego's anger on this algo. I drank whole night and coded. Damn fucking one of the most complex logics i had ever written. It was done and tested while the sun rose. And i slept, next day was a Sunday. I couldn't get hungover.

I was wrong, the logic was used and is one of the core logics of the product. Something that we boast of. 😁

It happened! It finally happened.

I got to use the XOR operator today, for the first time in my 10 years of development.

Now I feel complete. I am senior developer now!

It was about my 30th progress meeting with the clients on a website I was working on for them. At that point, I knew what was gonna happen. Change bloody requests.

Before attending that meeting I thought, "I'll change them on the fly as they comment for more ridiculous changes" as I drank 4 cans of RedBull. At the meeting I was having my 5th and the clients was firing all sorts of changes and complaints in the air and I whack them all with my lightning fast fingers can go.

I didn't know I could go that fast, like I was flying. Clients were impressed. Boss was worried that I don't look so... Normal. In fact, I jitter every mid sentence.

Told him to tell them to email changes/complaints instead of bringing it to this meeting. A complete waste of my Red Bulls.

Got semi drunk and thought "Now would be a good time to implement this feature"
*Codes for 2 hours straight without compiling once*
"Done. Good night"

The next morning:
Gets up and tries out feature
*Fixes 2 syntax errors/typos*
*Tries again*
*Feature works*

Just downloaded some big ass codebase and the first line i read is:

"// The source code is not well documented, but every advanced programmer will be able to understand it after some time."

Well... let's find out about your definition of "some time", Dickhead!

I type very fast and nearly without errors when tipsy. (tipsy is a step between normal and drunk here)

Also my easy-problem solving skills become awesome when on alcohol.

That's why i love programming tipsy! 😊

Too true hahaha

Tips for people new to programming

1. Start counting from zero
2. Trees are upside down, root's probably at the top
3. Warnings are usual, go rogue!

What more? 😂

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Today while livecoding in lecture, my prof got a call that got shown on his Mac. His response to that was very interesting:
“Has anyone else noticed that phones have gotten so advanced that when we receive a phone call we treat it almost like a DOS attack? It impairs is from doing everything that’s secondary to making and taking phone calls and that pisses us off”

Them: Why are you asking me? I didn't write it.

Me: git blame says otherwise

Don't burn other devs just because you don't like their solution. Discuss empower and stop being a total prick. People should look up to you because they respect you not because you put them down!

There's a fine line in stack overflow.
If you ask something too complicated, nobody will answer it.
However if it's too easy, you got downvoted immediately.🤔