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Search - "drunk coding"
That deserves to be here.
For me coding is best at about half of second 0,5l beer with ~5-6% alc. drunk at rate beer/hour. Did half of my bachelor's thesis during half of that second beer probably.
drunk me: "let's just code a bit right before going to bed!"
*codes and then goes to bed*
sober me: "when and what did i do here?"
also sober me: "how the hell does this work?!"9
10-1 AM - 4 of us got drunk.
2-4 AM - 2 hours straight coding, solving big-ass problems
10 AM - Fucking hangover and python code in a java project!4
Friend: So what's the plan for Christmas
Me: Nothing much just coding
Friend: No apart from work
Me: Yeah coding
Friend: That means, you not getting drunk or laid this Christmas
Me: No, because I can't C Sharp when coding
Friend: Fuck developers2
Yesterday, the whole dev team went out to lunch and we ate a lot and we drank a lot until we all got drunk! Since we are paid for the number of hours we work, we all decided to go back to the office and work.
WE WERE DRUNK WORKING! Drunk coding ftw
Result: The server is down right now because someone fucked it up and I think i ruined my code yesterday because I wasn't really myself. The whole team was crazy as fuck. One of us just came back from Poland so we were drunk and high from all the polish chocolate we ate.
I hope they fix the server so I can check what kind of bullshit the drunken me did yesterday o.O8
I turned fucking 18!!! Finally it's legal for me to drink beer!!
Gotta try coding while bring drunk😱 I wonder what it would be like.36
I'm a bad influence.
It's been a tradition for me to keep a bottle of 'desk whiskey' buried in a drawer at work. A couple weeks ago, I started inviting cube mates over for a drink on Fridays as five pm rolled around.
Soon one of them brought in a bottle of scotch. Then another.
Started observing the afternoon drink on days other than Friday, more folks got involved...
Now the CTO talks about "Whiskey O' Clock" daily.
Drunk programming is the best obfuscation. Tomorrow morning I'll have no idea how any of this works.3
You know those alcohol breathalyzers they put on cars when you drunk drive?
Putting those on our VCS server.1
Tried drunk coding yesterday for the first time which seems like a rite of passage for us.
Short endeavor. Turns out I cannot type when drunk.11
Worst client request.
Accident you thought were impossible in the dev world.
Story time, that one time where you f*cked up really bad.
Most satisfying hobby project.
Best dev food.
Most helpful accident.
Your favorite project you had to trash, explain why.
Weirdest thing someone asked you to fix because you worked with computers.
Most memorable thing from devRant.
Best thing to happen to you because of devRant.
Its 6am and i feel productive, its not even my app got dammit.
Project you took too far.
Best/worst drunk coding experience.
Weirdest thing you ever ended up fixing because you know stuff about computers.
Worst setup you have seen someone have.
Worst treated hardware you have ever seen.
Best skill to have picked up because of your interest for development, but isnt completely dev related.
Best/worst choice in your carreer, what happened.
Sketchiest email a coworker, friend, boss or client sent.
That one accident that prevented you from using your computer or the internet.
Moment when you thought your dev environment would get a huge boost, but ended with a plot twist.
Worst disturbance while working.
If i come up with more ill either post again, or comment here. This was all i could get off the top of my head, believe it or not.
Edit, gotta add this one: Cable porn3
I hate the mentality that our only hobby as programmers should be coding. Sorry but I enjoy crochet, reading, video games, and fashion. I'm not dedicating my entire life to coding. If that means it's more difficult to get a job so be it. I'll dedicate some time to coding but not all my time. I hate the kids i went to college with who would judge you if you github account didn't have green squares every single day. Sorry I just can't focus on coding that much. I need a fucking break sometimes. I can't just be a coding robot. Maybe im not meant to be a programmer. Maybe that's why I still don't have a job when I graduated 11/20 and it's 02/02 but fuck. I can't just be a program robot. (Sorry I'm a little drunk and sad)35
My first job was actually nontechnical - I was 18 years old and sold premium office furniture for a small store in Munich.
I did code in my free time though (PHP/JS mostly, had a litte browsergame back then - those were the days), so when my boss approached me and asked me whether I liked to take over a coding project, I agreed to the idea.
Little did I know at the time: I was supposed to work with a web agency the boss had contracted to build their online shop. Only that he had no plan or anything, he basically told them "build me an online shop like abc(a major competitor of ours at the time)"
He employed another sales lady who was supposed to manage the shop (that didn't exist yet). In the end, I think 80% of her job was to keep me from killing my boss.
As you can imagine, with this huuuuge amout of planning and these exact visions of what was supposed to be, things went south fast and far. So far that I could visit my fellow flightless birds down in the Penguin's republic of Antarctica and still need to go further.
Well... When my boss started suing the web agency, I was... ahem, asked to take over. Dumb as I was, I did - I was a PHP kid and thought that Magento, being written in PHP, would be easy to master. If you know Magento, you know that was maybe the wrongest thing I ever said.
Fast forward 3 very exhausting months, the thing was online. Not all of it worked yet, but it was online and fairly secure.
I did next to everything myself, administrating the CentOS box the shop was running on, its (own) e-mail server, the web server, all the coding required for the shop (can you spell 12 hour day for 8 hour pay?)
3 further months later, my life basically was a wreck, I dragged myself to work, the only thing I looked forward being the motorcycle ride home. The system worked though.
Mind you, I was still, at the time, working with three major customers, doing deskside support and some admin (Win Server 2008R2 at the time) - because, to quote my boss, "We could not afford a full time developer and we don't need one".
I think i stopped coding in my free time, the one hobby I used to love more than anything on the world, somewhere Decemerish 2012. I dropped out of the open source projects I was in, quit working on my browser game and let everything slide.
I didn't even care to renew the domains and servers for it, I just let it die without notice.
The little free time I had, I spent playing video games and getting drunk/high.
December 2013, 1.5 years on the job, I reached my breaking point and just left, called in sick at least a week per month because I just could not see this fucking place anymore.
I looked for another job outside of ALL of what I did before. No more Magento, no more sales, no more PHP. I didn't have to look for long, despite what I thought of my skills.
In February 2014, I told my boss that I quit. It was still seven months until my new job started, but I wanted him to know early so we could migrate and find a replacement.
The search for said replacement started in June 2014. I had considerably less work in the months before, looks like he got the hint.
In August 2014, my replacement arrived and I got him started.
I found a job, which I am still in, and still happy about after almost half a decade, at a local, medium sized ISP as a software dev and IT security guy. Got a proper training with a certificate and everything now.
My replacement lasted two months, he was external and never really did his job - the site, which until I had quit, had a total of 3 days downtime for 3 YEARS (they were the hoster's fault, not mine), was down for an entire month and he could not even tell why.
HIS followup was kicked after taking two weeks to familiarize himself with the project. Well, I think that two weeks is not even barely enough to familiarize yourself with nearly three years of work, but my boss gave him two days.
In 2016, the shop was replaced with another one. Different shop system, different OS, different CI. I don't know why and I can't say I give a damn.
Almost all the people that worked at the company back with me have left for greener pastures, taking their customers (and revenue) with them.
As for my boss' comments, instructions and lines: THAT might not be safe for work. Or kids. Or humans in general. And there wouldn't be much left if you put it through a language filter...
Moral of the story: No, it's not a bad thing to leave a place if you're mistreated there. Don't mistake loyalty with stupidity!
And, to quote one of my favourite Bands: "Nothing matters when the pain is all but gone" (Tragedy + Time by Rise Against).8
I'm definitely a vodka guy rather than beer or whiskey. I love how vodka makes my mind feel light / dreamy while still being fully conscious of things happening around me.
Just had a beautiful orange flavoured vodka with my friend.
I'm now gonna attempt some coding.9
Coding while drunk currently in the middle of the fucking day, hopefully I wont regret this tomorrow? Who am i kidding I'm writing brilliant code i should code drunk more often2
I've promised to do the Mozilla rant about the whole meritocracy thing a few days ago.. well, this is that. Along with some other stuff along the way. Haven't ranted for a couple of days man, shit happened! But losing 6 days that could've been spent on finishing my power supply project.. to a stupid cold, it got a little bit on my nerves, so that's what I've been working on for the time being. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it up in a couple of days.
1. COCKtail party thingy
Turns out that there's this conference in Brussels in a couple of days about the whole Article 13 copyright stuff. I've been letting a mail to the MEP's about it mature on my systems for a while now.. well, maturing or procrastinating, you be the judge 😛
Now I'm glad that I waited with that though. It's mostly a developer-centric insight into how the directive would be a horrible idea.. think AI, issues with context recognition, Tom Scott's video on Penistone and Scunthorpe etc etc. But maybe I can include some stuff from the event afterwards.
Also, if you're coming to the conference too, do let me know! Little devRant meet while we're at it, it'd be fucking great! I'll try to remember to bring my Christmas ducks, they've got these cute little Santa hats 😋
(P.S.: about the whole COCKtail, I saw the email while drunk and during registration I had to choose an email address.. I figured, feminazis are doing such a great job at going out of their way to find offense in everything, I figured that I'd make their job a little bit easier by sending a COCK bomb in my registration mail address, in the hopes that it finds its way to one of them.. evil, I know XD)
2. The whole feminazi stuff at Mozilla
So Mozilla hates meritocracy now? I've been wanting to rant about the big bad meritocracy for a while now. Thank you Mozilla for giving me an incentive to actually do it!
Meritocracy, feminazis think it's bad because it's about power relationships and discrimination, right? But what if I told you that that is exactly what makes great software great. Good code, good merit, is what's welcomed in software development.. or at least it should be. Because it's a job of fucking knowledge, experience, and quality! Also, meritocracy is a great thing because nobody cares if you're a professional developer in a suit, getting paid to work on a piece of OSS, or a homegamer neonazi who's coding shit in their underwear while wanking to child porn.. nobody fucking cares. If your code, your merit, is good, contribute ahead! Super inclusive, yet apparently bad because bad code is excluded to ensure the health of the project.
So what is the alternative to the big bad meritocracy? Inclusion (or as it's looked like in practice, more like exclusion) based on gender/sex, political orientation, things like that. But not actual fucking merit, the ability to write good code. How the fuck is politics and gender going to be any good at all to an inherently meritocratic craft?! Oh but yeah, it's great for inclusion. It's like females in tech. Artificial growth is just a matter of growth numbers and the only folks who like it are fucking HR and wanketeering cunts, and feminazis. Merit, that's what matters!! And have you ever considered that females are generally not interested in technology? Or for that matter, where's our inclusion movement for men in healthcare?! Gender equality my ass.
That's just my two cents on it of course. Meritocracy shouldn't be abandoned in tech. And even if it's just a matter of calling it something else. How the fuck is it a good idea to not call a pot a fucking pot just because someone might take offense at it?! It's meritocracy, call it fucking meritocracy!!! And while we're at it, call a master a fucking master and a slave a fucking slave!15
remember when our whole dev team was drunk but we went back to work anyway? turns out, someone rm -rf a whole folder of js scripts!! it took us some time before we could find the back up files which were in the old server (that crashed) because recently we changed servers (so we were transferring files) and we are now using amazon.
our boss got so pissed this morning but oh well, it was his idea to drink and feast in the first place!7
It was my birthday gf and friends got me drunk, so in response i woke up with a hangover. Coding does not mix well with a hangover 😟
What people don't get about drinking and coding is this.
Coding and development is very similar to art. You've to be creative in your solutions. You've withdraw all emotions and concentrate. And you've to find your own creativity.
You have drunk artists all the time, why not drunk coders?11
Sittning on a train home drunk a f right now. Only thing I can think of is the interview I got on monday. Fml. Shouldnt rant while im drunk. God save the queeen.2
I was absolutely angry, my ego had been wounded. I had built the entire product from scratch, while my bosses just clinged onto one feature that i had not done.
It wasn't even going to be used i knew that and hence was slack. It also required a lot of algo writing.
Post the discussion i decided I'm gonna take out my hurt ego's anger on this algo. I drank whole night and coded. Damn fucking one of the most complex logics i had ever written. It was done and tested while the sun rose. And i slept, next day was a Sunday. I couldn't get hungover.
I was wrong, the logic was used and is one of the core logics of the product. Something that we boast of. 😁
Got to the office in the morning. Boss says, ok we want to do a toast for one thing or the other. Got a nice glass of red wine. drank it. Nice wine. got back to my computer, and started to work. the boss man calls me back. I say whats up? he says, bottle of whiskey....
drunk coding is fun!6
today im trying get drunk amd then coding. dont know whats gonna happen but will see whats on my screen tmr.5
When after a drunk night your code is working and yesterday's bugs are all gone.
I'm so lucky that drunken me is my coworker. (:2
Did any of you hear Tim Cook's recent statement?
'Apple CEO Tim Cook says it is more important to learn how to code than it is to learn English as a second language.'
I mean, most of the code that I'd ever work on would be in English, no matter which country I'm living in. Most of the resources, documentation, tutorials are in English. Plus, if you think algorithmically, the logical code flow closely resembles constructs in English language. How could I possibly code without knowing English?
Go home Tim, you're drunk!
Most of my private code is created in the evening hours and after one to two beers, so I got that covered pretty well - though if you want to see what happens if you code literally shitfaced, just go play Mafia 3. That deterred me from trying.
The one thing I did at a party was fix a computer after (I think) 4 beers. Apparently I got it together because the sounds worked after that, but don't ask me how. Besides, it had OSX, I usually avoid that thing like the plague. I guess getting drunk means I can handle even that shit.
1-2 Beers is the max I still can code (or properly think) with. Any more and I can't get a single line out.
Worst thing I tried was coding high. I was on a short trip to Amsterdam and a friend of mine brought on some White Widow...
Yeah, I could focus alright... The code worked and the program was done in two hours (It was an exploit for... well, lets not get into details here).
When I reread the code while not high anymore, it might as well have been binary (it was Python). I could, for the life of me, not figure out what the hell I had been writing there or how/why it worked - but it did its job.
Never again. I mean, WW is my favourite and I hear a lot of artists use it to enhance their "flow" when creating art...
I guess it makes sense to code on that, but I generally try to avoid flow when coding - it makes you produce unreadable and unmaintainable code.1
At first glance, this week's group rant seems perfect for me since I have drunk coded at least 2 to 3 times per month (my TGIFs are usually followed by Saturday morning demo meetings).
However I cannot say I have had any particular "worst" code that I have done so far.
Yea I once formatted and installed some linux distro while drunk and couldn't remember the login info the next morning.
Yea I once exported, imported between dbs from prod and local while drunk and lost this and that data.
Yes I once decided to organize my repositories and somehow deleted some repos without any backup while I was drunk.
I was fine. I somehow solved my way out by either bullshitting or being quiet or fixing without any sleep. Most of the times nobody really comprehend the extent of my actions. So I was fine. Hence I really don't have any particular worst drunk coding experience yet.
Best drunk coding experience?
Well I do not agree that coding while drunk is a pleasurable or fun thing to do. So I don't really have that either.
This week's topic is actually a very tough one although it might seem easy.
Week 1 Day 1
It's a little late to do a whole big list of things I want to change going into 2018 so I'll just keep this focused on one thing: I do NOT want to work a minimum wage job by the end of 2018, preferably by the end of May.
So I'm gonna change that; starting now. I got accepted to the Grow with Google Challenge scholarship I may or may not have applied to while blackout drunk and I realize that drunk me was watching out for sober me. He set up a good start to getting me away from unloading trucks at 2AM and into a nice comfy chair where I can replace physical pain with mental anguish. But all kidding aside I'm really excited to start this course but I have no drive and motivation is a little hard to come by around here (The Fairy Godmother is MIA) so I'm going to be posting these rants daily in the hopes that it keeps me obligated to not waste the opportunity given to me. So without further ado, day 1 everybody.
I started today really simple. I signed up for a slack account, got Udacity set up so I was officially enrolled and everything, then moved on to setting up my laptop for android development. I wanted a fresh start so I when ahead and wiped my hard drive and looked at a few different OSes to see what fit my needs. After trying to mess around with Arch Linux and failing, I moved to Debian, I liked Debian a lot but I'm not completely comfortable with it just yet and I don't want to waste a lot of time having to familiarize with a new OS when I just want to dig in. So eventually I ended up with Windows 10, for the convenience and ease of use, but decided to put a spin on it and download the Ubuntu subsystem for W10 so I could still practice on something similar to a GNU/Linux OS. So far everything is set up, I have the only 4 applications I will need: chrome, android studio, google play Music, and devrant of course, and I intend to keep all other distractions off of this machine. Overall I'm feeling really good and I'll follow up tomorrow with some actual coding and whatnot and we'll go for there.1
Thank drunk me for making a backup.
My day could have been a whole lot worse.
...not using git for this particular endeavor.1
... worst drunk coding experience?
none. or to be more precise, all of the three of them I had. I can't code drunk, i hate doing it, i hatw even thinking about doing it when drunk.
so after those initial three attempts i don't try to do it again, ever.
BUT, best coding experience while high?
ALL OF THEM.
some of the best pieces of code I wrote i did when I was high. my mind goes into overdrive at those times, and my thinking is not lines/threads of thought, but TREES of thought, branching and branching, all nodes of each layer of the tree coming to me AT ONCE, one packet == whole layer across all of the branches.
and the best was when one day, in about 14 hour marathon of coding while high, i wrote from scratch a whole vertical slice of my AI system that i've been toying around in my head for several years prior, and I had all of the high-level concepts ALMOST down, but could never specify them into concrete implementations.
and I do mean MY ai system, my own design, from the ground up, mixing principles of neural networks and neuropsychology/human brain that I still haven't seen even mentioned anywhere.
autonomous game ai which percieves and explores its environment and tools within it via code reflection, remembers and learns, uses tools, makes decisions for itself for its own well-being.
in the end, i had a testbed with person, zombie and shotgun.
all they had pre-defined in their brains were concepts of hunger and health. nothing more.
upon launching it, zombie realized it wants to feed, approached oblivious person, and started eating it.
at which point, purely out of how the system worked, person realized: "this hurts, the hurt is caused by zombie, therefore i hate zombie, therefore i want to hurt it", then looked around, saw the shotgun, inspected its class by reflection, realized "this can hurt stuff", picked the shotgun up, and shot the zombie.
remembered all of that, and upon seeing another zombie, shot it immediately.
it was a complete system, all it needed to become full-fledged thing was adding more concepts and usable objects, and it would automatically be able to create complex multi-stage, multi-element plans to achieve its goals/needs/wants and execute them. and the system was designed in such a way that by just adding a dictionary of natural language words for the concept objects on top of it, it should have been able to generate (crude but functional) english sentences to "talk" about its memories, explain what happened when, how it reacted, what it did and why, just by exploring the memory graph the same way as when it was doing its decision process... and by reversing the function, it should have been able to recieve (crude) english sentences that would make it learn what happened somewhere else in the gameworld to someone else, how to use stuff and tell it what to do, as in, actually transfer actual actionable usable knowledge to it...
it felt amazing to code for 14 hours straight, with no testruns during that, run it for the first time after those 14 hours, and see that happen.
and it did, i swear! while i was coding, i was routinely just realizing typos and mistakes i did 5-20 minutes ago, 4 files/classes ago! the kind you (and i) usually notice only when you try to run the thing and it bugs out.
it was a transcendental experience.
and then, two days later, i don't remember anymore what happened, but i lost all of that code.
and since then, i never mustered enough strength and resolve to try and write the whole thing again.
... that was like 4 years ago.
i hope that miracle will happen again one day...3
Installed on my 2x 980 TI SLI the newest Nvidia Driver 384.76.
Played games on it and some Video Editing. Noticed that I have bad laggs and checked clocks.
Wow clocks were locked at half the max Output. Checked if I can do anything to increase it, nope it's locked at half the Performance.
Tried to install previous Driver, install failed. Went 2 Drivers back and installed the 382.33.
Everything worked again.
WTF are the guys at NVIDIA coding while being drunk?? How the fuck can you lock the powertarget of the GPU at half the Performance and after 4 days not releasing a hotfix? Are they testing this shit even or forcing it into production?
Currently NVIDIA has really crappy drivers and with every update it gets even worse.
And the only option you got is GPU's from NVIDIA and AMD. And Vega is not even released yet.
Hope that AMD will beat the shit out of NVIDIA...5
I've never gotten drunk while coding, but definitely a whiskey always is the finest accompoint to writing some beautiful code 😉
Don't you hate it when you hit your Ballmer Peak, start coding an app to calculate out you Ballmer Peak, then you tip over onto the right side of it and get bored.
So there was this project in second year of uni, I was in a team with 2 friends, we had to do a small project to learn programming. I was the most experimented one but still very bad.
One night, I took a few beers and started coding.
I wrote almost all the thing that night, the main functionalities plus the input/output.
But as I was drunk I made some weird decisions:
-naming all the classes in french and all the variables in English
-no tests (who does tests?)
-comments in Spanish
The next morning, when I send the code to my friends (we didn't know about git yet), they started hallucinating. We spent a lot of time refactoring and cleaning.
In the end, as most of the logic was there, we ended up the project a few days before due date and celebrated with more beers 🍺2
Not *drunk* coding per se, but there have been a couple evenings where a bottle of red has provided just the right push to finally get something done that I’d been stalling on...
Well i managed to finish a pet project after a very very long time while drunk coding for the first time. Def gonna do it again 12/104