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Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.
Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.
Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)
Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).
These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.
Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".
The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.
What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?
Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.
Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.
But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.
So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.
On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.
In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.
This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.23 -
Worst disturbance while working?
Some of my faves:
- Mgr flying his new $400 drone around the office (hitting walls, ceiling, etc). I mentioned the price because he crashed it a week later (un-repairable kind of crash), so I didn't feel too sorry for his loss.
- Mgr trying out his new blowgun and blowing darts at a cardboard box down/bewtween the cube hallway (where anyone could walk out of at any time). We would hear the "pfffft" and a loud 'Yea!'.
- Mgr would walk by a cube entry-way, fart, and walk away laughing.
- Mgr called me into area and his desk+the floor area around his desk was covered in peanut shells.
Me: "Wow, you got a mess here."
Mgr: "Yea, got tired of trying to hit the trash can. Maintenance will vacuum the office this weekend."
The mess was one thing, but what disturbed me the most was this asshole thinks Maintenance-Jim has nothing better to do than clean up after this so-called adult.
Karma kicked in and an hour later the owner's wife (we're still a family owned company, so he+his wife are on friendly basis with everyone) stopped by to say hi and walked in on the mess.
June: "What do we have here!?"
Mgr: "Oh...um...uh..I was eating a few peanuts and putting the shells in the trash can and accidentally knocked it over. I was on my way to get the vacuum cleaner."
June: "Hmmm...this looks like more than a few. *You* clean it up right now and *never* let me see this again!"
Mgr: "Yes..yes ma'am...right now.."
Whole office heard the exchange and it was frickin' awesome.12 -
How to get your long time pending payment?
I stopped the website and then client told me that website is not working and asked me to check what's wrong.
Me: Your cloud server has been disturbed by the recent cyclone, and I won't fix that until I get my pending payment.
Got all the pending payment instantly.2 -
I was totally in the zone earlier.
Plenty of caffeine, plenty of anger thanks to idiots, rocking out to Amon Amarth and Disturbed, and chewing through a difficult logic problem. It was wonderful.
Then.
Then there was a mandatory all-hands meeting. A mandatory meeting entirely consisting of someone doing a (admittedly decent) presentation on very basic marketing. (Basic as in "This is what ROI is." 🙄) It lasted for about 40 minutes, totally killing my zone and butchering my productivity. I've barely gotten anything done the rest of the day, thanks to that.
On the bright side, I worked out the logic on stickies during the talky-people bits. Maybe I'll be able to write it tomorrow.4 -
When a company emails 8000 + employees asking 3 people not to be disturbed in DevOps for 3 weeks. You know those 3 people have been screwed over by unrealistic deadlines.6
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Everyone's asleep.
I'm not tired, and coding sounds like the best thing ever right now. Figured out a solution to that blocking architecture issue, too. So: headphones on, blare Amon Amarth and Disturbed, bring up editor. It's time to work on that side project!
Best night in months.7 -
Fuck off you disturbed snowflakes with your SJW bullshit.
I get it, words cause damage, but words taken out of context for emotional self pity is on you.
Ok I expressed my feelings on the matter, see you next year for the next round!12 -
Story #1: So I took a month of parental leave. And was planning to extend it a little longer to deal with my final exams. I was planning to spend lots of quality time with my wife and newborn son. Little did I know... It turns out that out of 5 OoO weeks I was looking forward I actually had 3 at most. The rest I've spent working remotely as I was insisted to deploy a brand new and poorly tested feature to PROD 2 days before my paternity leave. So I spent 2 weeks debugging things in PROD. Remotely. Needless to say that did suck.
Story #2: After story #1 I've learnt my lesson. This summer I took 3 weeks annual leave to renovate my apartment. I asked to not to be disturbed unless there's an emergency. And an emergency it was. One of our app users had a planned hi-load batch job lasting for 2-3 months. Hundreds of thousands of items had to be created and processed. It turns out the _processing_ algo had some flaws and was acting out. I was called out and asked to assist. I knew this sort of debugging is going to take a lot of my time so this time I put my conditions on the table: I will assist but I'll extend my leave by 1.5 the time I spend working now. They took the deal. Instead of 3 weeks I had 5 weeks of vacation!
I don't care that much about my salary. I prefer to exchange it for my time off hence I didn't ask for compensations.
Bottom line: NEVER EVER underestimate or undersell your time and effort. You are a valuable asset and if the team/client needs you on your day off -- make it count. Your time off is YOUR time. Never forget it.3 -
When my daughter is around while I'm coding.. I feel disturbed... When she is not around.. I feel distracted (missing her)3
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A colleague of mine from the administration department suddenly enters my room where my team and me are all busy and, without considering I'm talking with someone else, interrupts us.
he: "I needed to call you but your phone is in do-not-disturb mode"
me: "that's because I'm busy working on something urgent and I don't want to be disturbed"
he: "but I need your help!"
me: "we're working on a urgent thing, but, anyway, what's the problem"
he: "I need help with digital invoicing"
me: "I deal with programming, I don't think I can help..."
he (interrupting): "I created a digital invoice but I need to send a printable version to a customer"
me: "digital invoices should be XML files so you can't simply take the file's content and paste into Word and print..."
he: "in fact that's what I did and the result was horrible"
me: "I was saying just that. I'm sure, anyway, there should be some online tool for producing a well-formatted PDF from a digital invoice"
he doesn't say anything
me: "you can try with a search on Google..."
he: "but I'm not an IT guy, that's not my business"
me: "this has nothing to do with programming, you simply need to find a tool online for doing this"
he (disappointed): "ok, but this is computer stuff, I'll try..."2 -
“I love being disturbed with customer phone calls when I’m coding and working to a deadline” said nobody, ever!
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Le me: Doing research
Le me: Touches hair out of habit
Le hair: "FREEDOM!!!"
Le hair: falls out
Le me: OH NOOOOO
Le me: gets disturbed and distracted
Le project: "FREEDOM!!!!"23 -
Finally, got this piece of beauty and badass combined, just to get some peace at work...
Now, dare those noisy neighbors, who doesn't silence their mobile and laptops, making loud chimes in IM, playing music on speakers and knocking at my desk when I'm on headphones and clearly don't want to be disturbed...
7 -
Got it in WhatsApp...😃😂😂
I am sure you will have a laugh too
A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".
"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.
One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"
Lesson: Never trust managers... They will take u to any extreme to finish their job.
And there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS 😜
Dedicated to all managers and upcoming managers 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂LOL😜😡😡6 -
!rant
With all the people around here ranting about their PM's, I'm really curious to see how a PMRant app would look like. What are they complaining about?
Devs that listen to music all day long and never want to be disturbed?
Engineers who talk in long, incomprehensible words?
...TDD taking too long?3 -
The worst part of being a dev
My social dilemma
In a fast paced world where the average human spends at least 6 hours a day with technology, deriving basic entertainment, pleasures and engaging in various activities.
Here we are the developers that have to engage with technology for longer hours for a living , having to keep up with deadlines, immersing our minds in complicated algorithms and then the endless possibilities of entertainment from the machine in so few human hours a day , you wonder how you’d get off, and to top it up, I personally work from home.
And then the dilemma of overcoming different suggestions from various parties in taking a break off, a break off to what you later ask yourself, thus creating the shadow of doubt, splitting the fragile programmer’s mind , trying to solve this imaginary puzzle, “this bug of the mind”.
Then the challenge often arises in creating a balance, telling yourself, just catching up with people with this same technology takes a whole day, or then again quitting my Job, but from my little experience of life, nobody likes a poor visitor, this is actually worse than a “bug” and as I bask in this quagmire, “a little voice in my head keeps singing keep doing what you love doing”.
Like an infinite loop of crazy, spiralling back to these machines, trying the find and fix the balance of normalcy. Always remembered the cool years of college tho, with so much people around and then again that was college.
An then the thought arises, maybe something else might be worth doing, but after so much time spent in building your skills and the enormous joy of programming even typing without looking at the keyboard is a real pleasure, and yeah sure the days are short with the reality of a constant need to survive, remain sane, compete and make the best of life in such short time.
Then how do we know if we have fallen off the so-called “social track”, when we have only lived so little to really comprehend the most parts of life? with such constant stream of unanswered question, you’d realise you shouldn’t have burdened the mind creating such questions in the first place
But then again maybe it gets better, one of the above, the disturbed mind or the situation as whole and yes I try oh I try, I place calls, do some visiting, no relationship tho but with a good perspective in mind.
In this race of life, you sometimes ask yourself would you rather be in a different position, or maybe already put exactly where we belong. For this illusionary fight with self is a fight with reality as a whole and true bliss comes from actually letting go as time and people pass you by.
And my greatest achievement to date aside family and my work is getting into the 1000 club on devRant.2 -
Management Double standards...
At a previous employer, the manager had me doing some QA testing for a updated version of some customer facing UIs. I spent 3 days constantly testing, except for my lunch break.
Every bug that I found I sent to a Sr dev.
Now this Sr dev was a coding savant. I mean awesome coder, but he had the personality of a rat and snake combined. If he wasn't coding he was brown-nosing the manager, talking about how he was doing all the work, or trying to rat on us other devs.
Anyway this dev has spent the 3 days of bug fixing alternating between watching videos and fixing bugs. Don't know what the videos were, don't realy care. I do know that he did not like to be disturbed while watching them...
On the third day, on my lunch break, I decided to watch two fifiteen minute videos on VSTS feeds and linking node packages.
As soon as I started Sr dev came over and asked me if I was focused on the teams priorities. I told him that it was my lunch break and since this was related to an upcoming sprint I thought it was worth it.
This S.O.B. goes full out hissy fit. He was flat out throwing a tantrum like my small daughter would. He made such a noise that my manager walked over and asked what was going on.
This shitbag Sr dev smirked at me and asked to speak to the manager in his office. When the manager called me over I knew what was up. I was lectured on not focusing on the teams priorities. I tried to explain that the videos were relevant to an upcoming sprint but was shot down. When I brought up the fact that the Sr dev was watching videos, the manager told me flat out that he didn't care. I was mad and told the manager that this was bullshit. All the manager cared about was keeping the Sr dev happy. I was told to "treat <shithead sr dev> with respect or else".
It was at that time I decided to look for another job. Less than a month later I left, for a much better paying job with awesome benefits. Sr dev acted like he was hurt I was leaving. Manager couldn't have cared less.
When some others on the team heard what he did, they started looking for work elsewhere too.
A month after I left another Sr dev on the same project left. At the same time a BA and QA tester demanded to be put on another team or else they would leave.
Manager started out with a team of 6 was left with only two people.
When the last one left, manager had the nerve to ask me why I didn't let him know anyone was unhappy. I told him if he cared so little for me, why would I think he care about them.
Ultimately, leaving was one of the best things I could have done. -
In the process of moving our web store to Shopify (yuck!) and we are first creating 150000 fake orders through the API so that as we import our real orders, the numbers match.
I'm disturbed by the fact there is no better way to achieve this and after speaking with support they said our best bet would be asking about it on the forums.1 -
A week ago, the team that hired me asked me to fix the s**t they made when they hosted around 30 WordPress sites in a single Bluehost shared server. Several of those were multisite installations. The server eventually gone down because of the load. And the most disturbing part was they were taking money from some of their clients to host the sites, in stead of not having a reseller licence. The server was going down quite frequently so I suggested moving some sites to another host or another server. They asked me to do it, but when I asked for the permission to edit the nameservers, they asked me to make a subdomain and point it to the new server. Which was kind of impossible because the new host was already having some subdomains and it's not easy to work with sub-sub domains. So, on an open statement they said that I am unprofessional and not fit for work. Before that they disturbed me and bursted on me when I was off working hours. -_-8
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I love listening to music while coding, mainly metal/rock/classical
Comment with 10 tracks from your playlist .... Here are my 10
0. Disturbed - stricken
1. Tremonti - decay
2. Black label society - bored to tears
3. Ac/dc - back in black
4. Rolling Stones - paint it black
5. Gary Moore- still got the blues
6. Carcass - blind bleeding the blind
7. Alter bridge - metalingus
8. Fear factory - linch pin
9. Pantera - 5 minutes alone8 -
Fuck this shit! Roommate just barged in at 3:30AM, his gf in tow. They went to bed like I am not here and he is snoring like a chainsaw. I never understood how can she sleep next to him while he snores like that. I have earplugs and active noise cancelling headphones on. I can still hear that motherfucker loud and clear. How the fuck is she not awake?!
But more importantly, 50% of this fucking room is mine, what makes him think he can just have his girlfriend over while I am here is beyond me. Like, sure, if I am not here go ahead but when I am here I would like some privacy, I guess the plank wall that I made in the middle of the room is not an obvious enough clue that I want privacy and I don't want to be disturbed :-/
Can't wait to have enough proof of his bullshit to get the block manager to throw him out.
Edit: To add to the snoring problem: I had a girlfriend who would snore, less than my roommate but still loud enough that I was awake the whole night when I went to sleep at her place... I HATE SNORING ... And when I went home for some holidays and my brother snored even for a second I kicked him off of his bed (because why not, he is an asshole to me like 99% of the time - and so am I to him :D //sibling love//)12 -
Company is about to get certified to ISO 9001:
Kick-off meeting with consultant announced weeks ago, mandatory for all employees.
Everyone is kind of joking about it, but also looking forward to certain workflows maybe changing to the better.
Two hours before meeting, told by CTO not to attend.
Some code I hadn't touched for half a year needs urgent patching to make the equipment pass EMC test (doing so within a few hours would help us save the lab cost for another day of testing).
When they applied RF noise to the bus lines, the CAN peripheral would glitch and need reset, this should happen covertly the first few times without raising any error to the user, so they could just finish the testing without being disturbed by the error - and the EMC lab will not test the functionality of the device after all.
The irony when you were actually supposed to learn about quality that day... -
That moment when your rant has gone so viral that you have to force close devRant app. Coz your phone is buzzing every half an hour....10
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First day back from holiday: after 30 minutes of work (excludes start-up, catch-up etc.) The P.O. (product owner) comes to me
Telling me I needed to switch project, ok I thought at least they switched the project from what ever it was to a propper OTAP street while I was away
Few tickets later the P.O. asked me if tickets x could be deployed to our test servers as well as production.. (note the ticket was already merged with our develop branch and he wanted only that single ticket x to be deployed)
WTF is the point of a OTAP street if you're going to deploy it to every server type at once?
So day one after my holiday I already needed to fight the P.O. again
At least I wasn't disturbed during my vacation... Witch is a first.8 -
MENTORS - MY STORY (Part II)
The next mentor was my first boss at my previous job:
2.- Manager EA
So, I got new in the job, I had a previous experience in other company, but it was no good. I learned a lot about code, but almost nothing about the industry (project management, how to handle requirements, etc.) So in this new job all I knew was the code and the structure of the enterprise system they were using (which is why the hired me).
EA was BRILLIANT. This guy was the Manager at the IT department (Software Development, Technology and IT Support) and he was all over everything, not missing a beat on what was going on and the best part? He was not annoying, he knew how to handle teams, times, estimations, resources.
Did the team mess something up? He was the first in line taking the bullets.
Was the team being sieged by users? He was there attending them to avoid us being disturbed.
Did the team accomplished something good? He was behind, taking no credit and letting us be the stars.
If leadership was a sport this guy was Michael Jordan + Ronaldo Nazario, all in one.
He knew all the technical details of our systems, and our platforms (Server Architectures both software and hardware, network topology, languages being used, etc, etc). So I was SHOCKED when I learned he had no formation in IT or Computer Science. He was an economist, and walked his way up in the company, department from department until he got the job as IT Manager.
From that I learned that if you wanna do things right, all you need is the will of improving yourself and enough effort.
One of the first lessons he taught me: "Do your work in a way that you can go on holidays without anyone having to call you on the phone."
And for me those are words to live by. Up to that point I thought that if people needed to call me or needed me, I was important, and that lessons made me see I was completely wrong.
He also thought me this, which became my mantra ever since:
LEARN, TEACH AND DELEGATE.
Thank you master EA for your knowledge.
PART I: https://devrant.com/rants/1483428/...1 -
I was once handed a very old PHP project that I had to make some changes to. I thought it would be a piece of cake. But the moment I looked at the code, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. It was so poorly written, it took me hours to figure out what was actually going on. Now these were the times when I was already quite disturbed mentally and emotionally, and this shitty PHP code only made it worse. At one point, I was like, fuck this shit I'm gonna quit this job.
Thankfully, the client soon emailed that the requested changes weren't needed anymore.
I personally have nothing against PHP. I have created some amazing stuff with it. But it's the programmers that don't follow the best practices that piss me off. I mean, how fucking hard can it be to write clean code. You might save your time today by taking shortcuts but you'll make life hell for the people who might have to maintain your code in the future. -
I've been watching some documentaries about the Tech industry lately and after just finishing "Terms and Conditions May Apply" I feel deeply disturbed by the simply massive scale of surveillance that is deployed by the tech giants. I don't think this is something that we should all just let slide.6
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Fuck timesheet
It's bad enough someone fucking disturb you in the middle of great thoughts. What's worse, you're QUESTIONED where the fuck your time was spent. So you need to work out how much time you have been disturbed, and put in the fucking timesheet!
What a fucking joke! As if we have too much time for meaningful stuff.8 -
Some context about me. Close to 3 years experience as a java developer. 1st class honours in Computer science plus oracle java 8 professional certified.
Today while discussing to a senior developer about a technical solution, he asked me a question.
Are you familiar with 'extends'?
He was talking about the keyword. I am so disturbed by it. Here I was thinking I was doing a great job. And he felt the need to verify if I knew inheritance keyword..
God knows what he and his fellow senior colleagues talk about me.. I must be looking like an absolute idiot in their eyes all this time.. -
This story just left me speechless in any way and i want to share it. tl;dr at the end.
Im studying computer science in germany and in the first of the small classes i noticed... no, i was disturbed by a guy who would just say that the thing we're learning atm were so easy and the teacher shouldn't even bother to explain it to the class. I don't understand why you would spoile a class that hard... I'm here to learn and listen to the teacher, not to you little asshole. (We were doing basic stuff like binary system etc. but still, let us learn)
So he became unpopular pretty fast.
Fast forward, a few weeks of studying later there was a coding competition where you had to solve different algorithmic problems in a team as fast as possible.
I came there, without a team because my friends aren't interested but I enjoy such tournaments. This guy and me were the only ones without a team and we had to work together.
After him being a total dick for hours i had to watch him code a simple for-loop, that iterates through a sorted array. Nothing special, at this point anyone could do that task in our class so it shouldn't be a problem for him.
He made a simple for-loop and it worked fine, but we figured we had to iterate through the array the other way around.
'Alright', I think. 'Just let the index decr..' 'Pssshhh', he interrupted me and said he knows exactly how to do this.
I was quite impressed when he started to type in 'public int backsort..' in a new line. He tried to resort the array backwards with a quicksort that he then struggled to implement. (Of course we had to implement a quick runtime and we needed that quicksort badly)
I was kind of annoyed but impressed at the same time. I mumbled 'Java has an internal sorting algorithm already' just to amuse myself.
He then used that implementation.
After a few minutes of my pleasure and multiple tests without hitting the requested runtime, i tried to explain to him why we wouldn't need to sort that array backwards and he just couldn't believe it.
I hope that he stays more humble after that..
Also we became last place but thats ok :)
tl;dr: Guy spoiles whole class, brags with his untouchable knowledge (when we do things like binary system). In a competition has to iterate through a sorted array backwards - tries to implement a sorting algorithm to sort it backwards first. I tell him, we could use a already implemented java method. Then tell him we could simply iterate through decreasing the index. Mind-Blown2 -
fuck coworkers who will still disturbed you even you have your earphones on, just to debate you if you know the difference between a class and an object.
(also talks confidently and loud enough to attract other officemates attention.)
Turns out that this same asshole doesn't know what he is talking about. Then you proved him wrong , and in the end he will just copy what you are saying. In other words all the time wasted for nothing! fck
fuck these kind of people. my productivity suffers, also they look like fools.
fuck these assholes who are very specific in technical names and jargons but dont know how to use it. fuck you all arrogant asshole dipshit mdfckrr feeling superior and annoying
sorry peeps argghh
can someone give me a hug1 -
Referring to this, about best programming languages,
https://devrant.com/rants/1322105/...
I’m more disturbed about Go didn’t make the list. At all.1 -
Happy New Year From Singapore!
In this year,
May all the Devs out there be able to code peacefully everyday without being disturbed by that annoying coworker.
May all the Devs out there be able to get clients who understand our pain.
May all the Devs out there be able to work on the projects that they love while getting paid proper amount.
Cheers! Love live devRant and it's community.1 -
So.... My mom became a victim of cyber bullying. And i just feel sad for her. She is an old but smart lady in her 50s and not very used to modern tech and cyber crime.
We follow a (now dead) philosopher (say 'X') as religion, some random stranger came in their local fb group and started shit posting about X like " he is not a god , he is a thief, follow me , bla bla bla" stuff like that..
I don't give 1 qbit to that shitposter or that fight. I am just concerned that my mom (and many others) got so disturbed that she left the work and came home.
Internet is great , free and all, but as long as everyone is allowed to speak everything without caring for a consequence, simpleminded people will keep on getting hurt, evil shitposters will keep on getting fame and people with an unsure mind will keep on making wrong decisions
I can give you numerous examples where a person got the power and fame just because he keep on getting famous for his negetive posts, religious or otherwise. This has to stop, but am not sure how.15 -
Completed a python project, started as interest but completed as an academic project.
smart surveillance system for museum
Requirements
To run this you need a CUDA enabled GPU on your computer. (Highly recommended)
It will also run on computers without GPU i.e. it will run on your processor giving you very poor FPS(around 0.6 to 1FPS), you can use AWS too.
About the project
One needs to collect lots of images of the artifacts or objects for training the model.
Once the training is done you can simply use the model by editing the 'options' in webcam files and labels of your object.
Features
It continuously tracks the artifact.
Alarm triggers when artifact goes missing from the feed.
It marks the location where it was last seen.
Captures the face from the feed of suspects.
Alarm triggering when artifact is disturbed from original position.
Multiple feed tracking(If artifact goes missing from feed 1 due to occlusion a false alarm won't be triggered since it looks for the artifact in the other feeds)
Project link https://github.com/globefire/...
Demo link
https://youtu.be/I3j_2NcZQds2 -
Looking to sharpen and pursue a SysAdmin/DevOps career, looking at online job offers to get the big picture of required skills and I say FUCK. It would take me a lifetime.
Azure, AWS, Google cloud platform.
CD tools: Ansible, Chef or Puppet
Scripting ninja with Python/Node and Shell/Power shell.
Linux & Windows administration
Mongo, MySQL and their relatives.
Networking, troubleshooting failure in disturbed systems
Familiarity with different stacks. Fuck. (Apache, nginx, etc..)
Monitoring infrastructure ( nagios, datadog .. )
CI tools: jenkins, maven, etc..
DB versioning: liquibase, flyway etc.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Are they looking for Voltron? FUCK YOU FROM THE DEEPEST LEVEL OF MY DEEP FUCK.1 -
As a developer are you customer facing? I hate being customer facing as any disturbances destroy my train of thought!
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In today's job interview for an apprenticeship for the "Anwendungsentwicklung" position where they specialize in SAP systems (ABAP).
They told me that this position is a new thing in their company and that they want me, once I agree with their contract (which they will send later), to take responsibility for that.
I'm fine with that.
Now comes the part that is bugging me. They also said that the IT manager does not want to be disturbed often, if I have questions.
(I mean I will definitely have some questions. I am an apprentice after all, right? Like why should I join your apprenticeship program, if you refuse to teach me stuff? I can study on my own, as well and not be in your program.)
Just a few times and that's it. They admitted that they do not know much about that position and that I have to learn most things myself. No books and no other resources. They also do not know where the school is going to be yet.
The people in the interview I've spoken to where nice and we made some jokes here and there, but the fact that the company does not want to support me in an apprenticeship is saddening.
I do not know...maybe I'm just too concerned and this is normal day to day stuff for apprentices, but from what I have read about apprenticeships this is not the right thing to do as a company on the internet.
Correct me in the comments, if you think differently.
I will use this company as a last resort.6 -
If you're coding, thinking and manually/auto debugging way too often several time a day, then you're likely to be suffering from "Geekonomous Schizophrenia", the Symptoms of that are:
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1. You grow a habit to cut the B$ in real-life conversations.
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2. You get instantaneously angry and disturbed when your mom/siblings/friends are interrupting you during your work.
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3. Not to mention you cannot tolerate irrational words from Socially Accepted Normal Chaps (SANC)
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4. You have nothing to speak unless a SANC starts the conversation themself.
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5. You tend to correct these SANCs mid-semi-technical-talk whenever these do factual errors.
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6. You get overwhelmingly excited and ecstatic to talk to someone of your expertise or at least a person who can intellectually handle your tech-blabbers and dev-rants!
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7. You start doing minor-to-major experiments regarding different things in real life as you do virtually with your codes and try to predict the outcome the next time.
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8. Best of all - whenever you are "loned-out" you don't feel lonely since you have many people and string of thoughts to talk to and inside your head there's a grand meeting going on.
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Relatable? We're on same lines then! 😊 -
who else is kinda disturbed and somewhat annoyed by the new apple touchbar?
i just want my function keys back😩
wtf have you done apple😞5 -
I can't name just the one annoying coworker, because I've never had this one person I really, really couldn't stand being around. But there are plenty of coworkers that have crossed my path over the years with features that have slowly driven me towards madness.
Like the team leader with psychopathic traits and a brown nose stomping downwards and pleasing upwards.
Like the one fellow who set variable values multiple times to really, really be certain it was set.
Like the girl who sat next to me every now and then, and always started humming and singing only when she sat next to me. Always just loud enough for me to hear.
The dickhead coworkers that has been bullying me, excluding me, neglecting me over the years.
The managers who apparently never learned managing nor people skills.
Every jackass that thought it was a good idea to come stand next to me so they could have a nice conversation on the phone without being disturbed. Well, you disturbed me!
The manager who was whistling and singing so loud from his office that I had to get a Bose QuietComfort headset to get him out of my head.
Every fucking one contributing to the dinosaurism haunting the office.1 -
I write a quick prompt thinking nothing of it, just trying to generate an image to illustrate the next baddie in the dungeon, but I nail it on the first try and the resulting image PHYSICALLY affects me.
What the fuck, now I cannot unsee. I didn't think this was possible. I assumed the whole "cursed photo" thing was just kids being easily disturbed, turns I was wrong. DO NOT fucking mix hyper realistic 3D rendering and cryptids, do NOT fucking do it. THe moment you get anything resembling a """face""" on the other side you've just consumed years worth of nightmare fuel.
Unsettling? Fuck you, this is beyond that. The eyes I saw on the other side of the screen made me RECOIL in fear. You think you know what NOPE means, let me tell you, I have just *FELT* what __NOPE__ stands for.
I would hope I sleep well tonight, but I don't think I will. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT18 -
!dev at all, but I just had to share it with someone. I know I'm quite late to the party here, but hey, I might not be the only one walking in darkness here...
Anyway! I just came over this cover of Sound of Silence by Disturbed. It fucking floored me! How the fuck is a man supposed to keep up his dogma induced stonewall when someone creates something so fucking beautiful? This cover is truly an epic recording of what was already an amazing song, but not something you'd play on repeat.
Add some metal to the mix and man...! I can't hear it enough... Drives the wife crazy :D
Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/u9Dg-g7t2l4
PS! Do watch the video, crank up the volume and relax. Oh, and use real speakers or a decent headset at least somewhat capable of tickling your spine :P -
Either the coworker next to me doesn't understand social protocol, or my hair's too long for them to notice I've got earbuds in and don't want to be disturbed. Might have to invest in some over-ear cans just to get the message across.1
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!tech
i was feeling very disturbed thinking about this thing, so just wanna share here. trigger warning : this is about 2 recent news (1 national and1 international) about crimes against women and its affect on me, a male , somewhat privileged guy with rarely any women in life.
news 1 : some lady in iran getting killed by police due to religious laws . news 2 : a receptionist girl in india getting killed for not providing sexual services to hotel people .
i will come back to first news in a bit, but second news has shaken me to the very core. i saw a post where her dead corpse was being taken up by her acquitances and she is just ... lifeless, hands going sideways, face hung at one side, mouth open... damn :'(
read more here : https://indiatoday.in/india/story/...
i am not at all related to this news, but somehow, i as a guy feel disgusted and being responsible for this sad event. this is not an act of power or lust , this is an act of a horrible mentality.
i come from the city where the world's most number of hate crime and crime against women take place. and pathetic politicians and people of power blame it on women's dressing and mens "naive nature" and , "boys being boys, accidentally making mistakes" . little did anyone know that this mentality has been cooking in the streets for last so many years.
i am a single child with no siblings or grandparents, my relatives rarely visit me and my last 24 years on earth rarely involved any female companionship apart from my mom.
i like girls, i find them cute. i really want to be with someone, to have a consensus relationship. but the talks among my homie groups and other male friends have gone toxic to the level that a national issue syarted feeling relatable.
the feeling of getting affection from someone has somehow turned into a lust, a "game", a "service". one guy( who recently shifted to other state) would use to tell us how he would visit " red light areas" , another one(also left) once tried to ask for that "service" in a camp where we were staying during a trip, and used to tell how he would hook up with girls on Instagram.
we used to laugh at those things, find them interesting and enjoyable. i would think about them in deep, thinking that this is something possible, a transactional access to sex, with me now earning enough to afford it.
now, seeing this news i feel so shitty and being a horrible human. those thoughts were not originally mine, but i didn't opposed them. rather i laughed on it , and thought that once am even more powerful financially and politically, could even entertain that approach.
As a guy, i want to say i am deeply, terribly sorry.
This mentality needs to be changed. my homie group is not just the only group of males that has such vile thoughts having openly propagated. every park, every company meeting , every library, every gym, anywhere i go, i can just show up a coffee cup and shout "women,huh" and can get a laughter followed by several low voices whospers on which girl is a "s***" there .
there are multiple points of failure in our society that are causing these. the news 1 from the start of this rant is the very first : role of government and religion on controlling "dresses and behaviour" of women
another comes the role of sex, culture and gender education in institution. institutions in my areas are so fucked up: they teach how plants fuck and bees suck honey to a puberty hit student, but doesn't teach consent, relations and personal behavior at any age. my school would even try to sometimes make all girls sit in a seperate row and other times would force guys to sit with girls. don't know what they got for this authoritative behaviour, but that sure didn't impacted our brains very rightly.
lastly this needs to be made clear in evevry guy's mind that paid prostitution, forced prostitution and consensus relationship are 3 different things, and only a respectable , consensus relationship is something you should think about and prepare for.7 -
#Breakup #GettingOverEx
So my ex broke up with me/ we decided to "go on a break" three months back. It didn't help that my ex is part of my close friend group and I'm obliged to run into them every other weekend.
None of my close friend group knows what transpired/that we dated.
They started dating someone new as soon as we went on a break.
As a part of new year, I decided to mentally move on. Now my ex is trying to reinsert themselves in my life (unsure in what capacity- as a friend/reltnshp).Today, I woke up dreaming about my ex and their new flame and feeling pretty disturbed. I don't know their status quo either as I haven't talked to my ex about it. (Just know it as friend group mentions them here and there)
I had initiated communication with my ex as I needed an advise (on phone) and they kind of self invited themselves to my place on weekend. How to cope with all this mess. I am unable to focus on my work because of this and my productivity is shot.
I just want to move on and date someone who makes me happy/is worth my energy.
How do y'all process breakups/get over ex?10 -
I'm watching the Cybrary Linux+ Cert course and all throughout the lessons the instructor keeps referring to MacOS and Apple related software as being based on Linux. I thought MacOS was built on BSD and Apple software was mostly proprietary but at its core based on open source projects like Bonjour. I'm cringing because I *think* what he means is "Unix-like systems" and I'm a little disturbed that he might not know the difference between BSD and Linux. Maybe it's just for simplicity's sake though... I hope.
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Some had teased me a bit on my previous meme so let me tell my anecdote...
I have to tell you a rather funny anecdote that happened to me during a job interview..
To put you in context, I am a front/back developer and the language where I perform best is JS. I started learning JS at an early age during an open source project to make animations on websites then I also quickly moved to the backend using NodeJS. I gained a lot of experience by going to small start-ups and this time if I wanted to try my luck on big companies in the field of video games.
So I wanted to present some projects to my interlocutor who seemed to be someone with an important position in the company, about 26 years old and we talked about the JS language. I showed him all my projects including those where I was doing free/open source and also in the field of video games such as volunteering like the back off https://mylolmmr.com And suddenly he called out to me and said "JS is not a real language".
I must confess that I was quite disturbed by his assertion and did not understand his condescension or his belittlement. This mind...
Especially since I find it extremely misleading to say that the JS language is not a real language when you know its advantages and disadvantages, but I did not dare to express myself on this subject and we continued the interviews, even though he saw that it bothered me.
The funny thing is that once the interview is over and I decide to go home and I receive a call from the company in question who wanted me to take a technical test telling me that the oral interview was successful...
I reassure you right away, I refused.. For a question of salary which was extremely low and obviously the bad experience with this famous director.
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i was tasked to coordinate an enterprise release. ran into some issues that my lead knows of. only problem is, she didnt bother to transition or shared it with me. worst: she gets mad after I called her mobile phone cause she doesnt want to be disturbed. she blames me for her and her husbands argument over a very crucial call.
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I'm disturbed at the mere thought of doing something useful, so I'm writing a webdav server. It might eventually make sense in the context of the umbrella project I'm doing to make use of the simple things I can write, but for now it's just reinventing the wheel.
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The time when you're in full flow while coding and one of your colleague bug you because they got a problem.
Whole flow is disturbed -_- -
Sorry not dev related
But feeling said, worried, angry and so disturbed after reading negative news about crime with girls everyday.16
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