Company: Bobby you saved the company millions of dollars this year!!! Great job.

Me: So...how about that extra 2k per year raise.

Company: Um well it just doesn't seem to be in our budget this year.

I get a call from a client at 7 PM:
- Client: We have a business partner that just visited the website you just made for us and he said it was absolutely terrible, things are not showing up, layout is all messed up... *sends photo*. This is a VERY important new business partner and this will affect our relationship and image. Fix it NOW!
- Me: ok? I will check ... *proceed to check on several browsers and versions*
- Me: I checked on all modern browsers, cleaned cache, tried from multiple devices, it seems to be fine. What browser is your partner visiting the site from?
- Client: Idk, let me ask ...
- Client: Internet Explorer
- Me: ... that browser is not even supported anymore wth?!
- Client: We need it fixed!
- Me: ... *proceeds and hacks for IE website until 6 AM*

Yup ... That's true

I had an interview yesterday with the CEO of a startup going into Series A for the position of Principal Developer, remote. I've only ever heard of 'tech-bros', but I was unfortunate to meet one in-person. It went something like this:

CEO-bro: Good morning.
Me: Morning.
CEO-bro: It says here on your resume you live in X. That place is a shithole, and I have to look down on you because of that, bro. LoL.
Me: ......
(40 minutes of self-promotion pass)
CEO-bro: Anyway, we don't pay high salaries but offer bonuses for high performing staff instead. I'll ask HR to send you an offer.
Me: Let me think about it.
CEO-bro: One question bro. You have siblings?
Me: One.
CEO-bro: Parents still alive?
Me: No...what?!
CEO-bro: Yeah, me too. People like us don't let anything get in the way.

I wrote them an email this morning withdrawing my application 🤦🏽‍♂️

Manager: Have you fixed the problem?

Dev: What’s the problem?

Manager: We’re not here to discuss problems we’re here to discuss solutions!

Dev: …

A client called me today saying their custom website I built for them is down. It just shows a 403 error now. They said they just wanted to update the prices. I asked what changes they made before it crashed. She said, "I couldn't figure out how to change the prices, so I just installed Wordpress, and now it doesn't work!" They completely deleted the entire website using cPanel and replaced it with a partially installed Wordpress.🤦

Manager: We do not identify as a tech company so don’t expect tech company salary increases this year

Dev: Well don’t expect me to bring a tech work ethic then

Manager: !!

Modern programming is like racing against the Universe: programmers try to make code for every idiot, the Universe breeds new kinds of idiots. So far, the Universe is winning outright.🧬

Funny😂😂😂

"Writing good code is a charity". ( - saves time, effort, mental-health, & career of next developer).

Tomorrow is Monday. Remember that it could be worse.

Literally just happened now, happy but surprised. It’s the best feeling ever when it just works though.

When ya want to serve Burger but ya need to get Debugger instead.....

If Apple made an electric car, they would make all the charging stations incompatible every two years.

best home office ever....🤣🤣🤣

My default algorithm

no if clients replace first

Two C strings walk into a bar.
The bartender asks "What can I get ya?"
The first string says "I'll have a gin and tonic."
The second string thinks for a minute, then says "I'll take a tequila sunriseJF()#$JF(#)$(@J#()$@#())!*FNIN!OBN134ufh1ui34hf9813f8h8384h981h3984h5F!##@"
The first string apologizes, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + “6”

Demoing a new feature in the Dev environment.

Me: The images are just placeholders. The communications team are still coming up with appropriate images.

Management: Can we change that image? It doesn't really fit the theme of what we are trying to achieve.

Me: As mentioned earlier, all images are just placeholders. Continues demo.

Management: That image also doesn't really fit with the theme. Can we change that one too?

Me: 🙄

Manager: Hey Dev I need to do QA on this PR.

Dev: That PR is not finished yet

Manager: Well do QA now anyway, that way when it is finished it can be merged in right away since QA has already been done on it. It’s a project management technique called “fast-tracking” and it improves efficiency.

Dev: …

A story about the shittiest boss I ever had.

We were a consulting company, I was leading the dev team. We're on the phone with a client who needs a change to the software we're maintaining for them.

Boss (mouthes at me): How long?
I (hold up 3 fingers, mouth back): 3 days
Boss (to client): You have it by tomorrow. *hangs up*
I: What the actual fuck?
Boss: You said 3 days, 3 times 8h is 24h, better order some pizza and Red Bulls for your guys.

He pulled stunts like this all the time and yet genuinely seemed surprised when I quit.

this image is fully authentic image of me as a single developer in a startup. All the used technologies in a single project.

Fuck China.

Fuck the U.S. government.

Fuck the UK and Australia and all the other governments for taking advantage of the crisis of the last two years to get more power and money for their elites.

Fuck them all for starting COVID with their unsanctioned and unethical “gain of function” lab experiments and creating so much chaos that nobody really has a chance anymore at living the life they had dreamed of or so carefully planned for.

Fuck them for the out of control spending and money printing and inflation and even messing around with trying to regulate and tax crypto so we don’t have any kind of escape valve to live a normal, happy life.

Because of them, I can’t even enjoy my time off work. Even if I could plan a vacation that wouldn’t have to be canceled due to an outbreak or resultant supply chain issues, I can’t travel without severe restrictions that make it miserable and not worth the trouble.

Fuck them for making everyone into stupid monkeys fighting over opinions about data that is incomplete, misunderstood, misrepresented, or downright fixed toward a specific pharma-fascist authoritarian outcome.

And fuck them especially for being hypocrites and going to parties and generally not following their own rules they made for us when they think we’re not watching, and then persecuting and prosecuting us when we dare do the same.

Fuck ‘em all. I’m so done.

There was a time when backend engineers used to make fun of frontenders and tell them 'you arent a real software engineer', nowadays frontend is getting so complex and cool that even backenders are now starting to learn frontend. I am so happy that because of new tech and frameworks frontend has gained such a massive respect.

German gov contractor interview.
1 interview went fine, test project went fine, then they told me all looks good and they'll fly me in so I can meet HR in person.

Flew up to Germany and there are solution architects and project managers in the room questioning me about C++ although it was about a java position.

Then told me that I'm no fit for them as their java devs need to be rock solid in C++ to make communication between departments easier. What the...

Given a couple of lines of code, I can predict with an 80% accuracy which of my team mates wrote it.

Went in, done everything perfectly, they want me in… cool.

“We know you have a 2 months notice, but could you boil it down to 2 weeks?”

“I uh… no… not really, I have tasks to pass and I doubt the company would like me to just rush out like that…”

“Come on, just stop working and tell them to fire you”

“I… no? I told you I have an important role it would be irresponsible to just leave like that… assuming they want me out that bad…”

“Okay then give notice and we’ll send you the contract”

1 week later, fortunately I didn’t give the notice

“Aaaah regarding the contract… we are postponing it for 4 months cause we needed 2 roles and we decided to hire the other role as we wait”

2 months and a half later, still didn’t give notice cause the postponing was a red flag

“Aaah sorry buddy the budget is not enough but we have to wait 3 more months cause investors moved the payment to January”

Never heard from them again… fortunately I didn’t give the notice and I started to search another job after the 2 months and a half thing.

Remember: until the contract is signed, nothing is set in stone.

Being told I’m not experienced enough to get a senior dev job I interviewed for.
Even though I aced the first 4 interview rounds, the tech test feedback was “the best solution they had ever seen”, and I’ve been a senior dev for 25 years.
Time wasting assholes.