*me and a bored coworker
me: bored as hell dude.

him: i have a fun game in mind.

me: shoot.

him: *brings his keyboard
him: type the string you can type the fastest. we will time it. i will start.
him: *types his name
him: your turn.

me: Scanner scanner = new Scanner(System.in);

him: the fuck is wrong with you?

Worst fight I've had with a co-worker?

Had my share of 'disagreements', but one that seemed like it could have gone to blows was a developer, 'T', that tried to man-splain me how ADO.Net worked with SQLServer.

<T walks into our work area>
T: "Your solution is going to cause a lot of problems in SQLServer"
Me: "No, its not, your solution is worse. For performance, its better to use ADO.Net connection pooling."
T: "NO! Every single transaction is atomic! SQLServer will prioritize the operation thread, making the whole transaction faster than what you're trying to do."
<T goes on and on about threads, made up nonsense about priority queues, on and on>
Me: "No it won't, unless you change something in the connection string, ADO.Net will utilize connection pooling and use the same SPID, even if you explicitly call Close() on the connection. You are just wasting code thinking that works."

T walks over, stands over me (he's about 6.5", 300+ pounds), maybe 6 inches away

T: "I've been doing .net development for over 10 years. I know what I'm doing!"

I turn my chair to face him, look up, cross my arms.

Me: "I know I'm kinda new to this, but let me show you something ..."

<I threw together a C# console app, simple connect, get some data, close the connection>

Me: "I'll fire up SQLProfiler and we can see the actual connection SPID and when sql server closes the SPID....see....the connection to SQLServer is still has an active SPID after I called Close. When I exit the application, SQLServer will drop the SPD....tada...see?"
T: "Wha...what is that...SQLProfiler? Is that some kind of hacking tool? DBAs should know about that!"
Me: "It's part of the SQLServer client tools, its on everyone's machine, including yours."
T: "Doesn't prove a damn thing! I'm going to do my own experiment and prove my solution works."
Me: "Look forward to seeing what you come up with ... and you haven't been doing .net for 10 years. I was part of the team that reviewed your resume when you were hired. You're going to have to try that on someone else."

About 10 seconds later I hear him from across the room slam his keyboard on his desk.

100% sure he would have kicked my ass, but that day I let him know his bully tactics worked on some, but wouldn't work on me.

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + “6”

[CMS of Doom™]
The gift that keeps on giving...
When you think you've seen it all after 7 months in legacy hell, you get another gift:

Let's say you use PHP, but your IQ is in the zero-ish range, then it is obvious to:
- use define() for constants in all your config.*.php files
- then include said config.*.php files multiple times
- and because define() doesn't overwrite the same constant, because it's - you know - a constant, you instead of including just do a file_get_contents() to read the PHP file as string and then parse the values by Regex.

The dev who wrote this was truly one of the devs ever.

Oh dear, a scaling problem I solved was replacing some Regex matching with simpler string functions. While I'm a huge fan of Regex, it's unreal how much performance they can suck out of some high-n loops...
I got about 120x out of some critical code thus making a CPU upgrade unnecessary.

Add a random string (like "AnyBrowser/1.2.3") to your user agent string, and get warnings about unsupported browsers, reduced functionality, and Google drive completely refusing to start at all.

It's the very same browser, just another user agent string. Ever heard of feature detection? Ever heard of usability, accessibility, progressive enhancement? How can developers be so lost in 2022?

I just tried to reproduce the reason why Vivaldi stopped adding their brand to user agent strings but sails under false flag pretending to be Google chrome. So it doesn't show up in browser statistics either and Google people can keep thinking everyone is using their shitware.

There are so many weird hacks in the quite legacy app I work with I could write a book about all them hacks…

But I must admit, the worst of them all is internal time. Yes, so some blockhead thought it’s a good idea to represent time in a manner completely removed from Datetime objects or timestamps or even string representations. Instead we deal with them as intervals represented by integers - and because this is not fucked up enough by itself, the internal time doesn’t start at midnight, yet the integer representations do. It’s a bloody mess. No wonder most of the bugs we face have to do with dates and time…

Two C strings walk into a bar.
The bartender asks "What can I get ya?"
The first string says "I'll have a gin and tonic."
The second string thinks for a minute, then says "I'll take a tequila sunriseJF()#$JF(#)$(@J#()$@#())!*FNIN!OBN134ufh1ui34hf9813f8h8384h981h3984h5F!##@"
The first string apologizes, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."

NO, YOU ABSOLUTE DISGUSTING GREMLIN OF A JS HTTP CLIENT, I DON'T WANT YOU TO "JsOn.StRiNgiFy" MY PAYLOAD OR DOING ANY WEIRD SHIT

I NEED TO SEND THIS THING EXACTLY AS IT'S WRITTEN, STOP TRYING TO GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO I'M A DEV WITH SOME 7 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE WRITING CODE, I'M SENDING A STRING CUZ I NEED TO SEND A STRING

Just got a new job at an old school hardware company. The codebase is giving me heart attack. They don't care about dev experience or code navigation at all. Every attempts to modernize the codebase is so half assed. All patches are so bloated that make the codebase even worse.

Frontend is migrated from prototype-oop-jquery cluster fuck to AngularJS, then finally angular. Holy moly, all business logics are baked into UI "classes" using prototype chain. When they migrated to AngularJS, someone simply added a wrapper to that jQuery cluster fuck class and overwrote all the prototype with a 10k +lines file. Since all the methods are hidden in either prototype, JS object, or callback function, it's impossible to trace the data pipeline using IDE when "go to definition" on update() method gives you all the update methods/string in all objects/classes. And they don't care about immutability. References are taken out, renamed, and mutated everywhere. Finding the source of a bug is fucking guessing game.

I don't know what trick they use that makes cLion static analyzer fail.

And there is no unit test or spec doc.

Fuck me dead

Java: String foo =“bar”;
C#: var foo = “bar”;
Go: var foo string = “bar”

I just started learning Go and I’ve been cringing since.

The people who are developing the Hostbill billing platform: please stop. Quit your jobs, and go do something else because you fucking SUCK at your JOBS!

I've had it with your shitty API! You ever heard of scalar types beyond string? "1", "0", "false".. Learn to use TYPES even though it's PHP! THERE'S TYPE SUPPORT THERE NOW YOU FUCKING IMBECILES! Some are typed, some or not, you never know! Guess and win!

And don't get me started on the documentation, OR THE LACK OF! Having to contact customer support to figure out HOW IM SUPPOSED TO DISPATCH DATA TO THE API BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO WRITE THE INTERFACES OR EXAMPLES! FUCK YOU!

Just had a discussion with a coworker. I noticed he was storing dates as string in mongodb, saying it was better for comparison and because he stored them in UTC. WTH, mongo already stores all dates in UTC and a string date is imposible to compare. I wasted 8 hours finding that last part out.

Rust ahahaah hhaahah ahah

the trait bound `std::result::Result<std::string::String, std::io::Error>: std::convert::AsRef<[u8]>` is not satisfied
the trait `std::convert::AsRef<[u8]>` is not implemented for `std::result::Result<std::string::String, std::io::Error>`

Wasted a day as Shitlock Holmes with the build chain.

It would not reproduce the firmware hexfile that had been checked in. Reverse engineering that along with the mapfile to find out the cause, it was a const string that was guarded by an ifdef from another file that was auto-generated as prebuild step via a script that fetched some version control info.

Or, it would have been if the installation instructions had been correct and someone had described that no spaces in the absolute path name of the project are allowed. Otherwise, that shit just failed silently.

I then had to reverse engineer the intended workflow from the commit history in the version control to figure out that the last dev obviously hadn't quite understood the project specific workflow and how the version control interacts with these build scripts.

At least, I finally did get a matching hexfile.

I know streams are useful to enable faster per-chunk reading of large files (eg audio/ video), and in Node they can be piped, which also balances memory usage (when done correctly). But suppose I have a large JSON file of 500MB (say from a scraper) that I want to run some string content replacements on. Are streams fit for this kind of purpose? How do you go about altering the JSON file 'chunks' separately when the Buffer.toString of a chunk would probably be invalid partial JSON? I guess I could rephrase as: what is the best way to read large, structured text files (json, html etc), manipulate their contents and write them back (without reading them in memory at once)?

There has to be a software project bingo somewhere where I could just mark one item at a time of what's wrong and should be fixed, eventually leading to the same loop all over again. Items include, but are not limited to:

- The application is too tightly coupled
- There are too many repos and people can't keep track
- Someone forgot to create a naming convention for everything
- Nobody is reviewing pull requests
- Someone opened a PR for their 1 month of work
- Some team created a service for themselves, that doesn't cover use cases for every other team (who didn't tell anyone they needed it), thus it was a bad thing
- Business owners telling something needs to get done now and go talk directly to a developer
- Nobody thought about network latency in microservice architecture
- There's an invalid translation in this string, let's push the MVP another two months to make sure everything is perfect before launch
- The API gateway has business logic in it
- Business wants to focus on output, development teams in outcome
- "You need to request a virtual machines from the IT department so we know you won't mine bitcoin there!" Takes two months to fulfill that request.
- <add documentation here>
- 675 vulnerabilities in packages
- People complain about not knowing what others are doing, but nobody wants to speak up

Fuck Apache TIKA.
Its supposed to be a "universal file reader" or some shit. Im trying to use it as a PDF/image parser that does OCR when needed and yelds a full-file string. It does so, but the text ends up being IN THE WRONG FUCKING ORDER.
WTF would I want to parse the text out of a PDF in any order that is not the one the text is supposed to be read?!?!
"It is more efficient to work in random ordering", says the docs. No shit, really? Wouldn't it be even more efficient to just spit out random strings? Just as useful and 100% CPU-bound.
"You can add a property to forcefully put the text in the right order". THEN WHY THE FUCK IT IS NOT THE DEFAULT SETTING?
Srsly, what's the use case to a parser that yields scrambled text?!?

Kinda often, the ecosystem around C/C++ kinda sucks

Compilers will give you hieroglyphs instead of readable errors.
Including a separate library, or a code generator, into your project is generally hell on earth to set up.
The language server often needs several seconds to come up with suggestions, some of which are complete nonsense.
The language itself lacks many basic features. C++20 will give us so many fancy things but we still can't convert an enum to a string.

I've programmed in C# and lately in Rust, and damn the developer experience there is just so much nicer overall.

Python 3.9:
Cool New Features for You to Try
String Prefix and Suffix.
Type Hint Lists and Dictionaries Directly.
Topological Sort.
Greatest Common Divisor (GCD) and Least Common Multiple (LCM)
New HTTP Status Codes.
Removal of Deprecated Compatibility Code.

Does anyone have a better way to implement throttle on value changes in c# ?

I'm using this right now and I find it a bit "too much lines"

@highlight
searchThrottle.Throttle(TimeSpan.FromMilliseconds(200))
.Select(e => ((string)e.Value)?.Trim())
.DistinctUntilChanged()
.Subscribe((x) =>
{
quisckSearch = x;
InvokeAsync(async () => await LoadFirstPage());
});

I implore ANYONE... please...

Have you EVER written a SINGLE Jest test that didn't have some sort of bullshit spewing stuff like this:

"ReferenceError: You are trying to `import` a file after the Jest environment has been torn down."

"Warning: React.createElement: type is invalid -- expected a string (for built-in components) or a class/function (for composite components) but got: object. You likely forgot to export your component from the file it's defined in, or you might have mixed up default and named imports."

and yet running on a device, features work flawlessly and quite well, no errors or even warnings in sight logged

This is the most fragile pile of garbage I have ever seen.

I hate this.

inb4 your stupid ass todo boilerplate garbage you wrote tests for in freshman year. i'm talking about a REAL app with HUNDREDS of components.

where the grownup testing tools at? it's a question I've still not answered after a year of fucking around with this framework

Holy f-ing hell!
Why do the small things have such fucked up corner cases?
This is very likely a giant bug with Qt, but how does this even happen?
I am using Qt with QML and sending data to a database on the backend. I call functions in QML from a Date JS object (property actually, but it calls functions) to set the date as a QDate. This is stored in the database as yyyy/MM/dd. This is fine. When I read the date out I convert it back from string to QDate and send this object to QML. Which then converts this to a Date object in JS in QML.

But at the point where it converts from a QDate to a Date object it loses an entire day. Seriously? You didn't gain a day going from Date -> QDate, but you lose a day going from QDate -> Date?

How long has QML and Qt been around? At least 5 to 10 years. How has this bug lasted this long? I don't want to do a bug report. I will, but I don't want to .

Terraform + helm-chart ... I really ned a break. Who the fuck invented this shit.
The HCL format sucks
The documentation sucks
The dev tools suck
The debug output sucks

But I'm ok with that, I can manage.
But today really it shot the bird ... I can't have a fucking comma in a string? Because idk why the fuck helm-release tries to parse that fucking string and wants to make an array or whatever out of it? Why, you fucking abomination?
Something in the docs? Nah, who reads them anyway.
Because you know it's totally not strange that a string is analyse and oh wait there's a comma in it, the dev surely wants me to make an array out of it, because you know ...
So now I have to escape my fucking comma to prevent it to parse my fucking string. I just want to have a fucking string you hideous monstrosity ....

Mongodb CEO and the developer who build this shit for brains interface should be tarred and feathered. Almost 90minutes in and I cannot connect to anything other than error codes. What in the actual fuck is your job other than to make it difficult for a "free tier" user to connect?
"connect ECONNREFUSED 127.0.0.1:27017"

Oh ok another 20 minutes of work and you give me a bland beige error code like "```TLS/SSL is disabled. If possible, enable TLS/SSL to avoid security vulnerabilities.```"... um ok how do I enable it for your site, your database or on my computer... oh wait you don't say shit do you?

So now I'm fully 81 minutes into this shit show and all I get for error codes are these really descriptive gems 'getaddrinfo ENOTFOUND cluster0.hudbd.mongodb 'dot' net` comes up if I choose `mongo` with "connection string scheme" above it or `bad auth : Authentication failed'

In python, is there a way to make this work?

----------
# list of people
people = ["Nick", "Sue", "Bob"]

# class instance
Bob.pockets = ["gum", "paperclip", "coins"]

# convert string to prefix of a class instance
Print(people[2].pockets())

----------

This is the simplest way to show what I'm needing to figure out.

I need to convert a string into the prefix of a class instance.

I'm having trouble figuring it out.

having a DSA interview in 2 days, any suggestions on how/what to prepare?

its been years since i tried solving coding problems with anything apart from strings or arrays( and that too the one we use in dev, like writing a function to convert string to uppercase, that's all i remember)

There are a million algorithms: knapsac, djikstra, DFS BFS, bellman ford, TRIE, BST, quick sort, merge sort, insertion , binary search... these are some buzz words i could remember from my early college days, 6 years ago. I was able to understand and learn them at that time, but now i know shit about them :/

How to go with all of these in 48 hours?

Utility libraries, because I actually get to see my life improve because I have them. Creating new projects becomes easier because I put parts I reuse somewhere else.

There was an old config file generator/manager I kept using for a while, some string conversion libraries between formats, some REST/WebRTC API wrappers, I have a web audio API I create tunes with in various projects. CI/CD scripts for laziness so I never have to know how to set anything up again. Lately the thing I'm most happy about is I turned some free text saving service into a makeshift database and it's been working well for about half a dozen projects now. Wouldn't handle large amount of users but can't beat free and easy.

I also find merit in prototypes/old projects, because I can reference random things I did in them in newer unrelated projects. Things too small to warrant their own utility library, argh!

Since Google is failing me...

Given a user input (string query) and a list of larger strings (like email bodies or something), what's the best way to search and rank the list of strings against the user input.

So far I have implemented levenshtein distance but it doesn't really seem to do extremely well. (Short strings rank very well against each other, whereas long strings **containing** exact matches will go lower in the list)

Should I be splitting the input and the list by word and then averaging the distances?

The only thing I have tried is removing complete non-matches from the list by not including them if the distance is equal to the length of the largest string

What would be the easiest way to make line 16 work.

I don't know if there is a simple way to tell this "if" argument to check all af the "Remote Host" classes for a matching string at that index.

I'm trying to design with modularity in mind.