Focusing. I'm part of two teams that use slack, office 365, email, jira, and Trello to communicate simultaneously. I'm expected to respond to urgent messages--so I'm in productivity-killing notification hell and it's really taking a toll. :(

"ACK and you shall receive"

Phps love of nested arrays is similar to that of structured programing and goto statements. You will do a lot of backtracking in both of them to see where things start. God bless PHP.

May I introduce you to my coworkers git repo

School Exams.

Behind every successful developer there is a deactivated Facebook profile.

Was looking through some code during work when I found this beauty. Why would you even...

Meeting with an investor who brought two tech advisors.
Advisor A: you should consider using php.
Me: why?
Advisor B: node.js is older.
Me: :|

You can argue about advantages/disadvantages, but how the fuck can you argue with a fucking timeline?!

Stephen Hawking has just under 70k followers on Twitter. Kim Kardashian has just under 50 million followers. This realization really pissed me off - most humans are just idiots.

Why the fuck did I set up GitHub and all the deploy scripts if your just going to fucking ignore it and edit directly on the server?!?
"Oh, I ran out of time"
DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW SIMPLE GIT IS?!?!?
"git add file
git commit -m 'Queef farm'"
AND YOU'RE DONE!

"a poor programmer will always blames his tools"

not not
Who's there?
boolean
Boolean who?
true

I didn't choose the debug life, the debug life chose me.

I'm pretty sure Shakespeare didn't say that.

DeathStar 3.0

Working Code has bugs
More code = more bugs
More bugs = less working code
More code = less working code

me: do you know what is so great about UDP jokes?
you: No
me: the fact that i don't care if you got them.

I'm logged into my box at home via ssh and coding in vim.... On the bus, using my phone.

I need more spare time, I get to sit down in front of my computer for maybe 1-2 hours a week.

Every unholy, directly sent from hell, refinement-planning i ever had since dealing with scrum.

Refinement: Good
Plannings: Fine

But the juxtaposition of both kind of meetings...
... destroys nerves
... desintegrate teams
... destroys lifes

*shivers*

Thinking of naming a distro as nut. So I can do stuff in a nutshell! :p

I know! I am sorry! :D :p

Huh. I have been starting to run out of ideas for puns. I guess I Need to update my Pungram

That was terrible ill Get something better tommorow.

Intellisense at its best

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

Tree top

Ever got that thing, when your IDE says that you have a syntax error in your code, and you reread it again and again and just can't see it, so you just delete the whole thing and write it again - exactly the same - but now it compiles fine?

You understand more xkcd comics.

Read it somewhere

//Happy debugging suckers
# define true (rand() > 10)

Say no more

Expert Beginner

I'm tired of women who tell they don't like to work with women! You're not going to become a better dev by imitating a sexist grandpa. Men won't like you more: event if they didn't like women either, you're still a female... And other women will just try to avoid working with you. Why would I bother to work with someone who judges me before we even start?! 🙄