Are you finding a new job? take care of this.

Girlfriend: What's your biggest fear?

Me: That machines take over the world.

Girlfriend: What?

Toaster: What?

Oh!! Nevermind!!

Teacher: press F5

Student: presses f then 5

Me: dies

One of my friends purchased a bootable USB of ubuntu for around 40 USD.

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.

Pretty accurate answer I must say

Experience 😂

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

Ahhh DDoS attacks

"Our last lead-developer was a real smart guy, he modernized the legacy code and we all learned a lot from him"

I need a beer, and a shotgun.

So...Today I found an SQLI (sql injection , google if you're not aware) in one of our products , I start exploring it , I get my trusty Kali on me workstation . sqlmap etc. Tell my manager it's a true positive... I start exploring the db , half the devs at my manager's place start staring at his screen as I proper fuck a QA db server... I hear a qa guy mention triangulation as sqlmap dumps a uid table in his face . I hear my manager's manager saying 'this has been in our app for so long and we found it just now ? Who found it ?' *manager proudly saying me name* 'He's still working this late ?' ...apparently now my trip to england is getting covered for both me and me gf by the company...

OOP programming be like....

Everyone here ranting about a fucking missing semicolon. I can't remember the last time a missing semicolon was the issue...

You wanna know what's REALLY BALL-BUSTING????

WHEN THE FUCKING 10 y/o LEGACY CODEBASE, CODED BY FUCKING PHP WORDPRESS SCRIPTERS WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD BUILD AN ENTERPRISE SHIT CAUSE ZF2 "LOOKS EASY" AND THEN FILL IT UP WITH SPAGHETTI, IS SO BAD WRITTEN THAT IN ORDER FOR THE PAGE TO RENDER YOU ACTUALLY ****HAVE**** TO DISABLE ERROR REPORTING SO WHENEVER A FUCKING ERROR HAPPENS ON THE TEMPLATE RENDER COMPONENT OF ZEND FRAMESHIT 2, YOU'RE LEFT WITH A FUCKING BLANK PAGE AND NOTHING IS LOGGED TO THE LOG FILE, SO YOUR ONLY OPTION IS DIE() DEBUGGING LINE BY LINE ON THE 1300 LINES PHTML FUCKFEST OF A VIEW THEY HAVE.

MISSING SEMICOLON? YES PLEASE, GIVE ME MORE OF THAT SHIT

Unit testing be like "all tests passed"

Me, every time trying out something with small community...
Credits: https://xkcd.com/

Conversation with my Boss

B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.

!rant

I made devRant pancakes!
yummy

When you have maths but your code is calling

Fucking react programmers

Haha, always a gem ❤

SAVAGE 😂😂😂

A: Hey look! I have a brand new computer!
B: Oh, so you use Linux?
A: No, I use Windows.
B: Than it's not your computer.

git commit -m "fixed issue with fan"

Salary negotiation

Based on popular demand, we're proud to introduce a basic image repost detector on devRant!

Right now it uses very simple hashing to see if an exact copy of an image was posted recently. If it was, then we display an error and we don't allow the image to be posted.

This is experimental so if you experience any issues with it please let me know.

So a Redditor decided to inspect element an adult's website. Why am I not surprised

We feel you bro...

Maybe the code behind the "Windows is checking for solution"

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "