hello , guys.

Best joke in physics😂

A big FUCK YOU to all those sites that disable paste on text inputs

Companies, please, hire people that like simple solutions.

I dislike people that always want to “catch-up via quick call”. Dude can’t you type a simple message?

Manager: Does anybody having any money saving ideas?

Dev: By switching our supplier from X to Y we could save $10,000/year and they have much better customer service.

Manager: So? I’m looking more for savings opportunities in the +$100k range. That’s a small idea, I’m looking for *BIG* ideas.

Dev: Do you have any big ideas?

Manager: No, but I really really want to save big money like that. I thought you would have something worthwhile.

Dev: $10,000 still a lot of money

Manager: I guess…. Ok we can do it. But don’t bother me with peanuts like this again.

Dev: ??? You asked me buddy

Today I discovered that we have a CSV export button for an order transaction system, on a page which is completely disconnected from the rest of the website.

It is only being called by an internal server, used by our Data department.

They run selenium to click the button.

Then they import the CSV into a database.

That database is accessed by an admin panel.

That admin panel has an excel export button.

Which is clicked by our CFO. But he got bored of clicking, so he uses IFTTT to schedule a download of the XLS and import it in Google Sheets.

That sheet uses a Salesforce data connector.

Marketing then sends email campaigns based on that Salesforce data...

😒

How do you respond to the person who says this: "Hey #{insert_your_name}, I overheard that you are a programmer, I would like to tell suggest you a billion-dollar business app idea"?

Even if you uninstall MS Teams, it will find a way to start again.

Dude reverse engineered mcdonalds API to filter out which mcdonalds have ice machine broken https://twitter.com/rashiq/status/...

Result: https://mcbroken.com/

Casual workday be like:

Project manager: It is important we deliver these features.

Me & Coworker: Sounds reasonable, here is how long we need, roughly.

Mgr: Well, the deadline is already set and the contract is signed and written.

M&C: Ummm...

Mgr: Also, while we are hosting the application, we are not paid for operational cost, so make sure to optimise the crap out of it immediatly. Preferably while developing the features.

(A wild architect appears): Also everything has to be built on cans and kubernuts, with rectangular ui and bootstyling and with these internally developed backend frameworks NOBODY tests. Coroporate policy you know.

(A wilder division CEO appears on meeting): Also we are rolling out code KPI's across the organisation. Everyone is expected to Focus on documentation, test coverage and there is now mandatory SonarQube scanning of repos. ZERO DEFECTS PEOPLE

M&C: ...

(Wildest Salesteam appears): By the way we sold the application to these other customers, they love feature XYZ and must have it.

M&C: It does not have feature XYZ

Mgr: It will have feature XYZ

M&C: Allright so with all the extra funding from the sales, we need to hire atleast one Machine learning guy, an extra frontend specialist a developer and maybe funnel some of the funding into slacking the operational budget in the start.

Animated Suit *Railing a line of coke from his gold plated ihpone 15*: What funding? Get to work. Also your havent been super sharp with your time registration.

Recruiter call me for a position in his company and after speaking for a while he asked me to refer him in my company 🤣

Guess I'mma go fuck myself :)

Interviewer asked me how to find the best move in Tic Tac Toe game.

We discussed several ideas and ended up playing Tic Tac Toe for nearly 10 minutes.

It turns out HR was keeping an eye and they had to interrupt.

That's what I call a good documentation. Not boring to read!

devRant, you've missed the opportunity to swap desk ducks for little humans. Still awesome idea though.

Co-worker presented her work by sharing her screen. She forgot to unshare.

She proceeded to open Chrome and search: "Can I sue co-worker if I get coronavirus because he coughed?"

Another employee said: "Your screen is showing" :/

I ranted about this back in 2018, now it’s reality.

My lift in nutshell

Fucking 20 hour days. Third one this week.

Been at work since 6am, it is now midnight. Spent the morning fixing bush league code mistakes from "expert" onshore developers, and explaining how-to-wipe-your-ass level concepts to some rude cunt who is absolutely going to take credit for my work after I leave.

Now I'm just waiting on this slow boat scp to finish because the invalids the customer hired to manage their infra can't figure out the 3 minute exercise that is standing up a registry, so the container deployment process is fucking export multiple 500mb Redhat images as a tar and ship it across the cripplenet they call a datacenter. And of course the same badmins don't understand rsync and can't manage to get network throughput in a datacenter with a $300M annual budget over 128kbps. I guess that's fast for whatever jugaad horseshit network they're used to.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating. Fuck IBM. They're a cancer and at this point I question the moral compass of anyone who works for them.

So, a few months ago I agreed to rewrite a previous employer's OAuth app -- paid work, ofc, if below my usual rate. It's a rewrite because the project is so deprecated and fragile that upgrading it is likely much more difficult.

however, I drastically overestimated how much free time I would have. I thought I could shave off an hour a day to spend on it, and get the project done in a few weeks. However, it turns out I barely have twenty minutes a day to myself, and it's only after I'm mentally exhausted from the day's efforts.

I don't think I'm capable of completing the project given the demands on my time -- even if it's relatively straightforward to do.

I don't want to tell them no, especially after waiting on me for this. but I don't think I have a choice.

I feel terrible.

😂😂😂😂

They burn my eyes every time.

Ohhhh 😂

Smoking when I want (this picture of my pipe when I was visiting my parents)

Most of the code I write nowadays is for GPUs using a dialect of C. Anyways, due to the hardware of GPUs there is no convenient debugger and you can't just print to console neither.
Most bugs are solved staring at the code and using pen and paper.

I guess one could call that a quirk.

YouTube recommendations are like when you tell your mom that you enjoyed a classical music concert, and the next day she has bought you a cello and signed you up for classes.

JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED ONE FUCKING DUMB COOKING SHOW, DOESN'T MEAN I WANT ALL MY CAREFULLY CURATED CONTENT ABOUT PROGRAMMING AND SCIENCE REPLACED WITH CELEBRITIES TRYING OUT VEGAN BARF WRAPS.

What a monster... but it also looks oddly satisfying 🤔

This is great

Covid19