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A guy on another team who is regarded by non-programmers as a genius wrote a python script that goes out to thousands of our appliances, collects information, compiles it, and presents it in a kinda sorta readable, but completely non-transferable format. It takes about 25 minutes to run, and he runs it himself every morning. He comes in early to run it before his team's standup.
I wanted to use that data for apps I wrote, but his impossible format made that impractical, so I took apart his code, rewrote it in perl, replaced all the outrageous hard-coded root passwords with public keys, and added concurrency features. My script dumps the data into a memory-resident backend, and my filterable, sortable, taggable web "frontend"(very generous nomenclature) presents the data in html, csv, and json. Compared to the genius's 25 minute script that he runs himself in the morning, mine runs in about 45 seconds, and runs automatically in cron every two hours.
Optimized!29 -
devRant, the only positive and supportive online community for programmers.
until you mention an OS.
then all bets are off.16 -
Rant!!
Girlfriend call me while am at a meeting.
I mute my phone...
She calls again and again for the 3rd time back to back. I leave the meeting stating this might be important..
I answer the call...
Me: hey babe , all okay ?
She: you’re busy ?
Me: yeah sorta , tell me wassup ?
She : if you’re busy then it’s okay we can talk later
Me: it’s all right . Are you okay ?
She : yes, but if you’re busy we can talk later ..
Me :(FUCKKKKKKKK THIS FUCKING FUCK WOMEN LOGIC, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS)
The above statement was said internally
Me:(in reality) you sure babe? I’ve left the meeting so I can talk..
She: nothin much I was suppose to be in your area in a couple of hours so wanted to know if you could meet
26 -
dad: what the hell do you do again?
me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.
me 90,000th time: internet stuff.
me 83,881,178th time: computers!4 -
I had a client reach out to me to build a website for a company they’re starting.
The email was well-written and I was considering doing it—but then I read the last sentence.
“I think it’s appropriate for you to do it for free since I took the time to reach out to you”10 -
Every Unix command eventually become an internet service .
Grep- > Google
rsync- > Dropbox
man- > stack overflow
cron- > ifttt5 -
Boss man: your code has issues , you should strive to have lesser bugs.
Me: GTA was made due to a bug in the their code.
*mic drop, leaves office, clapping heard in background*
😂
12 -
Making fun of a skinny/fat person working out is like making fun of an uneducated man trying to learn7
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How do I know my office is pretty chill?
My lead dev just sent me a text with:
"U suck penis"
I said "wow, uncalled for"
And then he said:
"U r uncalled for"
Well alrighty then18 -
With the other members of the team refusing to learn git and making changes directly to the staging server i get to write the commit messages for everyone.
Log:
UPDATE: *informative details *
UPDATE: mark made some changes
UPDATE: colin made the same changes as mark but different
UPDATE: andrew undid all colins updates to change one link and I had to add them back in, thank gawd I commit the night before
BUGFIX: andrew keeps changing the database host to localhost and uploading it without changing it back
UPDATE: we all hate andrew15 -
🤠:Hello, I need a website for my professional website. But anything more than $500 is unrealistic.
Translation
🤡:I am a stupid assclown that the future will leave behind and time will forget.22 -
I sometimes look at the code of the guy who had my job before me and I think.
Delete it.
Delete it all.
Delete it with fire.
Use the developer as kindling so it never happens again.9 -
In the project management system we use with our clients I see file named, 'instructions for backup.'
I open the file and all it contains is my name and phone number.😑4 -
There should be a name for rants about fake stories. Like the ones you read and can smell some bs going on. I suggest frants.4
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So my CEO wants me to move to architecting systems!!!!!!!! My dream since a kid !!!
It seems like a mad job where you're a crazy scientist 😂
What should I read or do to be better ? -
A supervisor in my first job , he also taught me to pick up girls in bars.
Hell he picked up a girl whilst I was throwing up on a train 😂, literally right next to me 😅 talented man
He made me want to be better then him at programming ... Not picking up girls. So now I am and got my own company doing it ... All due to a strange bromance15 -
All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.
2 -
Having to argue with team members inside my head.
I have a one-man startup, so I have all these imaginary team members who specialise in different things so that I can concentrate on whatever I am doing for that day.
But it seems my developer side of me hates the manager and UX designer these days for making changes half way through the project.
Oh yeah, and my accountant side thinks I'm spending too much. Fuck you, I needed that money.4 -
I just can't understand what will lead an so called Software Company, that provides for my local government by the way, to use an cloud sever (AWS ec2 instance) like it were an bare metal machine.
They have it working, non-stop, for over 4 years or so. Just one instance. Running MySQL, PostgreSQL, Apache, PHP and an f* Tomcat server with no less than 10 HUGE apps deployed. I just can't believe this instance is still up.
By the way, they don't do backups, most of the data is on the ephemeral storage, they use just one private key for every dev, no CI, no testing. Deployment are nightmares using scp to upload the .war...
But still, they are running several several apps for things like registering citizen complaints that comes in by hot lines. The system is incredibly slow as they use just hibernate without query optimizations to lookup and search things (n+1 query problems).
They didn't even bother to get a proper domain. They use an IP address and expose the port for tomcat directly. No reverse proxy here! (No ssl too)
I've been out of this company for two years now, it was my first work as a developer, but they needed help for an app that I worked on during my time there. I was really surprised to see that everything still the same. Even the old private key that they emailed me (?!?!?!?!) back then still worked. All the passwords still the same too.
I have some good rants from the time I was there, and about the general level of the developers in my region. But I'll leave them for later!
Is it just me or this whole shit is crazy af?3 -
Hi everyone! Progress is slow for the game development.
I'm finally (and hopefully) done character design though I have a fuckton to do for 10+ characters.
Tbh it was my first time but got the help from the art community to give me a lot of feedback!
20 -
At Uni, I went from being the only programmer, to the programmer, designer, scene builder, main script writer, minigame designer, project manager, music composer, UI designer and fucking everything else.
We had a team of 4 people. The artist was great and dedicated, the production person was motivated, but lacked any technical skills and my useless fuckwit of a friend wrote literally 3, 2 note midi sound effects in 6 fucking weeks.
Thank fucking god the coordinator and a mate of mine who we got to do the animations, saw the amount I had carried and both led me to getting 2 jobs in the industry right after graduating.4 -
Purchase $900 laptop, it's not powerful enough so I return it and get $1,100 laptop, still not powerful enough, return it and get $1,600 laptop. Realize I have a gaming PC and don't need the laptop this powerful and I return it and repurchase the first laptop I bought with a $100 discount because it's now an opened-box, but I know for a fact that it was the one that I got in the first place and opened.
Thanks Best Buy.3 -
Whenever anyone mentions goats, I feel the need to point out the fact that they scream like humans. And then someone sent me this in response.
6 -
Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.4
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Coffee and wine are my life coaches.
Start of day
☕coffee: GO GET THEM TIGER!
End of day
🍷Wine: you'll get them tomorrow.1 -
This morning I received an image of my custom mouse pad. I almost cried tears of joy. Now for the long wait as it comes from China...
18 -
When you have to spend two days inventing math formulas for work because google won't tell you how to sort every possible combination of an array of arrays into a zero based number list, or how to get a combination from just it's index.
12 -
I feel like a e-hoarder, I keep tabs and sublime windows open and worry about closing them as they might contain important code...
FML4 -
Did you know..
There is an Easter egg in the Unix man command, if you call it at exactly 30 mins over midnight.
Then it prints "gimme gimme gimme"; (all night long)..8 -
My own text mmorpg and it's selfmade Chat system! <3
Yeah it's barebones and has some flaws, but its the first project I set an worked through with a very pleasing result ^^
It's a CLI-Style interface with a command and chat mode, multiple rooms, user descriptions etc.
Some day I want to improve it even further, bring much more functionality in the mix, but first I would have to reinforce the base/core of the program ^^
7 -
Internet stopped working yesterday and the ISP company told me they couldn't send a person for a week!
I'm stuck at home, I have to have internet.
Long story short, I got no sleep last night and I may have voided my routers warranty, but I got internet.8 -
How my lecturer drilled JS syntax into us:
Write this:
var x = document.element;
x.value = 10;
Instead of this:
document.element.value = 10;
His reasoning:
"You make the cake in the kitchen, you don't put icing on it on your way to present the cake"4 -
That moment when you're finally getting your user registration and login system up and running!
As a web dev student I feel like I have accomplished something :)10 -
When I saw that the Zuckman was gonna go testify for congress I already knew that shit was gonna be retarded.
I had 0 expectations of congress asking the correct questions.
I was still disappointed. That is the beauty of my government. I have 0 expectations and they still disappoint me.
I love playing the devil's advocate. I really do, in this case and even tho I think Facebook is the most toxic shit on the internet (right next to SO) I could not help it but think the entire time that we aaaare told that all our date are belongs to them as soon as we put shit on their application. Its just the nature of the beast. Don't like it? Don't use it! But if you are gonna use it then account for the fact that your data will be used for targeted adds. It makes more sense, I would rather have an add for tutorials and books and shit like i normally get rather than knowing that 10 hot singles are in my area (because those are all lies 9 times out of 10) but then again I would rather not have any adds at all.
One has to account for all the money that fb pours into shit, where do people think fb makes that money from ..duh our data and adds. But shit was too hard to understand for Congress.8 -
Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.
One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.3 -
CEO : this Facebook app has this great feature .
Me: yep, it’s really useful
CEO : can we make something like this in ours too ?
Me : we can sure try using this(x) method.
CEO : cool, I’ll add this into the sales team memo , and btw, it needs to be done in 2 days,
Me : but... but ...2 -
It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.6
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Started part time job at a company, had to log my time on timesheets. Said fuck this and now the whole company logs their hours on a custom web based time logging system which I built.5
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Who else questions the Apple QA team?
Effective power to the letter "i" not working to the root bug and now this?
Jesus Christ they need to get some help lol
12 -
Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.5
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My life is just a series of disappointments right now from the people around me. Both personally and professionally. Glad I get to spend most of the time staring at a computer. Lifeless, yet the only rational elements in my life!2
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Two types of people. I see this way to often in the community, and yes, I know this to be true to every industry, but being that I am in I.T I will thus focus just on I.T.
We never know about the situation of other people, we can always tell them that it is natural to be confused at first and they should learn to look at the docs, but to be nasty just for the sake of it, because some screen protects you from catching hands.... that is the legit personification of the fat ugly little troll nerd that is so pathetic that he needs to shit on others over the internet.
Lads, web development can be complex, but it is one of the lowest forms of development, certainly not complex and glamorous enough to act as if we were gods...do we really need to be that mean and nasty?
28 -
Just picked up some freelance work because someone recognized my dev rant shirt.
Devrant has become a cabal.5 -
Can ppl stop bitching out about their ides not running smoothly with 8gb+ ram? I mean 8gb ram wise is enough, unless you have 20+ browser tabs open, watching some casual porn, downloading some more porn in the background and maybe running some benchmarks just for the sake of not letting your dollars go to waste...15
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I couldn’t get a dev duck ,
So here comes Dev Spider-Man!!!
Well he’s obviously good at coding , cos you know , he works on the web 🤣
3 -
When I was about 13, I opened up command prompt on Windows, and changed the color of it to green then ran the tree command. So, not thinking of anything, this was in the library in front of about 60 people and 2 teachers.
All others saw was green text going down fast, and instantly presumed that I was hacking since they knew I was into coding and finding exploits, and just knew how to use a computer better than them in simple terms (HACKER MAN). Thus this lead to me getting sent to the principal's office... I almost got suspended cause I ran the tree command in green.
Two questions for me remain unanswered, that I would love to know. What would've happened if command prompt was printing text in red. Another question becomes, what would've happened if people saw me pinging Google or some popular site.5 -
Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.2 -
😸:oh hi, i came in early to checkout this game, but i was just about to get off and start work.
😎:I'm not your boss. I don't caire what you do.
👺:I am your boss, and as long as you get the work done, on time, and done well, I don't care if it looks lie you are doing nothing but being paid to play games. If anyone does bother you about playing games at work let me and I will let them know to leave you alone.3 -
Just saw the first Iron Man again, but this time in english (never did it before (I'm stupid (but french dub is pretty nice tho))).
Poor dude developed his first armor with some kind of Vista running computer, I can't begin to imagine his pain during the process6 -
We were going over man in the middle attacks today and I honestly just could not stop thinking about that SpongeBob episode where Squidward keeps intercepting the bubble messages between SpongeBob and Patrick and it was so dumb that I could not stop smiling.3
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who has used a screw driver to connect the prongs to turn on a computer without a case/power button?7
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So I wrote code to show the FUNCTIONALITY of my module , which has temporary variables and temporary code.
Boss after verifying : so it's done right ?
Me: no the code needs to be written .
Boss : but it's working...
Me : yeah , but this is a test environment , I need to put everything in place and test .
Boss : so it'll be done in 15 minutes right ?
Me : ...
Boss: ... -
You know your a dev when quality time with the kids is sitting them on your lap and letting them watch Netflix on one monitor while you program on the other.2
-
i have been fortunate enough to always work with awesome people.
both jobs I have had after college had almost no supervision, and I could come and go as I pleased.
I am a professional, and I loved being treated as one. I don't take advantage of my work, and they don't take advantage of me.2 -
This was a straight-to-devrant moment...
Referred a work colleague to a man page for a command they were having trouble with.
Their reply: "I really hate man pages. They are not useful to me. They are full of blah blah blah blah blah. I just want 'run this' or 'run that'."
Then my eyes exploded right out my head, making room for my brain exploding right behind them.2 -
Thirty hours over two weeks, but we finally patched a angular app that was originally built on 2 (alpha) to 4, reducing the load time ten fold.
Don't thank me, thank super duck. The duck with the power to debug any code.
Gawd I'm tired.
2 -
!rant
Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.
The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.
Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.
The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)
Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.
He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.
What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.
He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.
He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.
.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office
As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.
I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.4 -
Gah gets me every time I open an image I want to share with friends on messages later.
Share dialog ain't cutting it.
1 -
Me after working on a complex UI given by the designer
Me: it’s done
Designer: the underline is off by 1px
Me: yeah , that how the css accommodates according to smaller screen , it’ll still look like the UI you gave on the bigger screen.
Designer : it hasn’t come out as expected , let’s change the UI and try something new here
ME (inside): YOU PEICE OF SHIT , you should have either spoken to me before designing the UI to know what could be done , or either be happy with the 1% different in the real UI and your “photoshop image”
Me(outside): as you say4 -
Got the cheapest laptop I could find that would run Windows mixed reality.
Installed Linux subsystem for Windows and Ubuntu.
Nothing but giant flying terminal windows across my view of a virtual Seascape.
This is my new home.4 -
Brush up on your unix skills while supporting charity and O'Reilly media: there's a Unix book humble bundle! Will not be equally interesting for all, but worth a look.
https://humblebundle.com/books/...2 -
Seriously, wtf..
- Getting ready for the K.I.D.
- Will need a red LED light/lantern to see things around w/o waking the kiddo up
- Order a bunch of various models
- Receive some of them
- The another one arrives - it only has white and blueish-white modes
- Reach out to the seller, ask to send me what I've ordered
- Seller replies with:
> Hi, friend
> I am very sorry this light is out of stock now
WTF dude... I order a particular SKU of your products, I need it for its particular properties the other SKUs don't have and when you see you've got no more left you do what? Send me a random product? Seriously, WTF man?!? How about ping me with a message, explain that you've oversold the item and suggest a refund? naaah, too much work, right? Just grab whatever products you still have left on your shelf and send them to your customer instead. /s
WTF MAN?!?!2 -
rant & question
Last year I had to collaborate to a project written by an old man; let's call him Bob. Bob started working in the punch cards era, he worked as a sysadmin for ages and now he is being "recycled" as a web developer. He will retire in 2 years.
The boss (that is not a programmer) loves Bob and trusts him on everything he says.
Here my problems with Bob and his code:
- he refuses learning git (or any other kind of version control system);
- he knows only procedural PHP (not OO);
- he mixes the presentation layer with business logic;
- he writes layout using tables;
- he uses deprecated HTML tags;
- he uses a random indentation;
- most of the code is vulnerable to SQL injection;
- and, of course, there are no tests.
- Ah, yes, he develops directly on the server, through a SSH connection, using vi without syntax highlighting.
In the beginning I tried to be nice, pointing out just the vulnerabilities and insisting on using git, but he ignored all my suggestions.
So, since I would have managed the production server, I decided to cheat: I completely rewrote the whole application, keeping the same UI, and I said the boss that I created a little fork in order to adapt the code to our infrastructure. He doesn't imagine that the 95% of the code is completely different from the original.
Now it's time to do some changes and another colleague is helping. She noticed what I did and said that I've been disrespectful in throwing away the old man clusterfuck, because in any case the code was working. Moreover he will retire in 2 years and I shouldn't force him to learn new things [tbh, he missed at least last 15 years of web development].
What would you have done in my place?14 -
It's rant time!
So, as a broke electrical engineering student, I got this job in a local company. They used JSF and my skills in java were, at the very least, small (former PHP developer). But as a self taught developer this didn't stopped me and I went full on java learning (very bad year for my EE studies).
I became the 'guy in charge' for several of their projects (yeah, they did exploited broke students, I realized this far too late). I was very proud of myself, I worked hard, showed my true value, and they became impressed.
One nice thursday night, my "handler" emailed me with a urgent request. They needed an entire jsf application done by monday and the requirements were fairly complex.
Oh boy, I had a total of 10h of sleep from thursday to monday. I didn't even slept before going to my monday class, but I delivered the system. Got an pat in the back... "you're awesome"... I was happy.
6 months later: I received an email asking to fix a bug in the system. No problem with that. Oddly, this bug was a MAJOR bug. There's no way the system worked properly for six months with it. I fixed it in no time and commited the changes.
Turns out that this was the first time the system was going to be deployed. They made me go in an insane weekend dev project, and didn't even used the system for SIX MONTHS!!! I started to work my way out the company after this, aiming to open my own software company.
I still remember some other rants from the time I worked there. But these are for later.
Nice week for you all, may the sprint go gently and the clients be kind.1 -
Background: I'm in middle school, and two popular games that people liked got blocked. My friend and I made a website with the blocked games on a free 000webhost subdomain. It was a crappy, twenty minute website that I made with just a view counter, the games, and a chat room for people looking for other people to play with.
Story: one day I opened up the chat room where another friend and I were gonna talk about our teacher behind her back. I opened the chat room, and in the previous chat text, there was a line that said "Username: " and a text box. Then, about five lines, each with two text boxes separated by a ":". I knew that it could've been my friend that "made" the site with me (he designed the logo and occasionally modified the HTML), but I suspected not. He wasn't smart enough. Now when I was building the chat room, I internationally didn't put in XSS protection, just to see if someone would catch onto it, and, to my surprise, someone obviously did. Now there's someone in my school, who could be just like me, but I don't know where. Man, I really wanna find him (or her)! Of course, it could be my teachers, who are messing with it and could be trying to get it blocked -_-1 -
Story from when game disks were in fashion
I asked my best buddy to burn a disk of GTA vice city so that I can install it on my desktop.
The next day when I receive the disk and insert it into my PC I almost fell of my chair laughing cause that douche bag had copied the icon from his desktop to the disk and burned it .
I almost fell laughing not because what he did , but because he did so when he was in his final year of his IT degree 🤣🤣🤣3 -
Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman8 -
Honestly ...
Am I a simple man ?
I had a small convetsation with a stranger and he suddenly called me "a simple man".
That made me wonder for 3 days and i thought i can ask U .
U can see my prev posts and share your thoughts with me .12 -
Last night I had a panic attack and woke up in cold sweats because in the dream I had I was constantly using the wrong variables in the wrong places...
-
Just went from full time employee at my work to contract under my own LLC on a retainer at my old salary. I'm my own man and it feels great. All the tax breaks shall be mine.7
-
Final project senior year...
Mistake 1: Chose a project suggested by the prof, who did not initially make it obvious that the project beneficiary would be a personal friend of his.
Mistake 2: Nine of us thought this project looked cool and all signed up for it.
Mistake 3: Looked at the code-behind provided for us and discovered that the web-app we were building was... programmed in Java, using StringBuilder to append HTML, CSS, and JavaScript and create its webpages. Which was then decoded and built into a webpage using some obtusely designed compiler.
Mistake 4: Decided to question the reasonability of said project to the prof.
Mistake 5: Did not quit the project as a group and do something else
We all graduated, I think, but a lot of C-'s were had. Fuck that class. -
Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.
Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.
Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.
Client:😓
Me:😅3 -
Had an intern go configure a bunch of workstations for our employees over the summer - we gave him a checklist and let him loose.
Several months later... Try to support a user with their workstation and find out that $software isn't installed on said workstation. Check other workstations. No $software on any of them.
Ask intern "did you follow the checklist we gave you??!"
Intern: "Yeah, I followed it."
Ask intern: "So why is $software not installed on the workstations?"
Intern: "Oh I didn't have a copy of $software so I skipped that step."
What.
So he's probably getting shitcanned soon...7 -
Soooo might turn into the lead developer of the web services of 2 fucking schools with the manpower of 2 for which one of us ain't even a developer all because HR put my lead developer in the hospital and he might be so fucking fed up that he may not come back to work.
Fuck
Human
Resources
Holy fuck man.....I was already a lead mobile developer before and i fucking hated every minute of it and the pay raise ain't even gonna be worth it for the ammount of shit that i am going to be required to do.
Fuck this, fingers crossed man I really want my boy to come back cuz I don't wanna deal with this bullshit.
I seriously never thought i would be in this position and by heavens i have been in some shit before.
Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
Fingers crossed my boy gets better man fr.7 -
FUCKING FUCK ANGULAR!!!!
LIKE FUCK IT IN THE ARSE AND BURN THE MOTHERFUCKER WHILE LAUNCHING A MISSILE ON IT TO BE SURE!
(ﾉ≧∇≦)ﾉ ﾐ ┸━┸
So I am making something on angular and I got everything running in ng serve(development environment) , after handling all issues and showing it to my boss man he approves and asked to put it up on prod for a demo , doesn’t sound like an issue , I make the prod build on cli and BAM! 16 errors ? No issues right?, I’ll just google the issue. Googles.... there aren’t no clear solutions to it as the angular version keeps changing and nobody knows what broke it, I mean people have the issue,but like 100 reasons that can cause it,
HOLY LORD RELEASE A NEWER VERSION AFTER MENDING THE OLD ONE
But nooooooo!
Angular Dev:We fucked this one, lol what should we do boss man?
Angular boss man: lol just leave it, we need to build the new version with newer bugs,
P.S. I like angular, but it’s like a underdeveloped framework, too many issues and too many changes2 -
After working for months , I've understood that we should overestimate the time that will be taken to complete a task
But now it's getting annoying , I mean It's been a week I finished my project and am ideal ,
Btw, the project timeline was a week , ( I finished the work in a day ) -
Jared wtf were you thinking! He is a wild man 😊 Final 5 minutes thru rolling credits was very cool.
Lot of communication and usability lessons to be learned during the episode.
Season finale next week. Can't wait!2 -
Well today I feel like shit so I called in sick. Found out the lead developer called in sick as well.
The thing is, there was something really important to be done today that he fucking new that if he was not to be there I was going to get shit from everyone. He is going through some shit right now and I get it, so I would normally cut him some slack.
But fuck man, at some point you got to man the fuck up and deal with your job, if anything do it for your fucking coworkers/friends. He fucking new that I was going to get a fuckload of bullshit over something that he takes care of.
Nevermind that there are only 2 fucking developers for the entire fucking campus(2 campuses actually) and we were told last friday that we were needed. Normally, one would put up with the bullshit and make a presence, but that one of us is always me. Today I said fuck it, its too cold, don't feel good and I don't want to take my daughter to the daycare.
Today I sit at home, go over my OS books, play Skyward Sword with my daughter, watch movies with her and I don't think about work for one second.
On another note, the reason why I need to go through my OS books is that a good portion of my masters degree(which I am to start on August) covers OS development, it seems that the entire curriculum will be C/C++ galore which makes me FUCKING STOKED! finally a break form web development that I can probably use to get me out of web development professionally as well.9 -
The best feeling according to my buddy is when drawing a character and then taking a photo of it and the phone recognizes the head as a real face.
Made me wonder of some programming equivalent scenarios.
Like checking your website for the first time on validator.w3.org and seeing the `No errors or warnings to show.`
Or writing code in a plain text editor and it works on first try without any errors.
How about letting a coworker do something you really want to do and already thought heavily about, to later realize they did it exactly how you imagined it.
Or even as simple as getting your first assignment on a new job and totally nailing it.
Do you got any good examples of a similar "omg ftw" moment?
7 -
To the front end dev that 'finished' his part of a web form with a Hundred pluss fields. You left every id, name, and label-for as 'first-name'.
I know it saves you time to copy paste and only change what's visible on the page, but FUUUUUUCK YOU! -
[Me]: Walking past a building, looks like an office building. *Light bulb*
[Me]: looks towards the nearest monitor Python terminal is open. Screams out loud "My man!" -
disadvantage of using noise canceling headphones.
boss comes in from other room. more amused than annoyed
👺:Is there a reason you are letting out a loud burp and a fart every couple minutes that i can hear through the walls?
🙊:Oh!? now I understand why my deaf friends are so oblivious to why the rest of us start laughing for 'no reason' when we go out to dinner with them. -
When you hack up some spaghetti code which works right off the bat and you don't even know why but you take it for granted anyways. Week later someone tells you that it's not working anymore and you have to find out why.3
-
Nothing makes me happier than listening to my neighbor's disgusting banda music playing as loud as it can.
No worries tho, the cops will be here in about 20 mins (it usually is 20) one would have expected that after getting the cops called on you for 3 times already you would get the message:
No homeslice. If i want to listen to that cantina piece of shit music on my fucking friday nights I will make sure to let u know :) but I actually have class so no thank you.
This is why Trump hates us (Mexicans) -
*face palm*
My boss just IM'd me. She asked me the status of a work item. I told her my teammate completed it on 2/27. She wanted to know if it was in production. I said I was unsure, she would have to ask my teammate. So of course, she asked *me* to ask my teammate, and then get back to her.....WHY do I need to ask my coworkers stuff for her? She is the BOSS, last time I checked?3 -
I have to share this. These guys are unbelievable! They claim they will build this console that will run a modded Debian Linux. Ok so far...
But then they say that it will run Windows games...
Wine you may think?!
NOOOO.
They say they will make a 'revolutionary' motherboard, that will RUN WINDOWS GAMES (?!?!?), WITHOUT WINDOWS!!!! And they will do this by putting a fucking FPGA chip on the board!!! That will INTERPRET .EXE FILES (IN HARDWARE LEVEL!!!)
They must be gods to run an .exe file using nothing but (V)HDL without the shared libraries and at hardware level!
FUCK! I'M MAD!!!
Scammers gonna scam!
http://www.project-novatio.com
P.S.: FPGA - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...7 -
There is this dude called Richard Eng which is sort of famous for 2 things:
First: he is known as *the* Smalltall evangelist of mothern times. And he constantly writes about it. Which is fine since he tries to attract new users to this beautiful and simple little language.
Second: his constant bashing of other technologies, mainly Javascript stating that it is the most harmful tech known to man.
The thing is, saying "use this because that is shit" is never going to convince a community, specifically one as potent as that of the JS community. And to make it worse...the dude links his reasoning about bad languages to articles he wrote. As in "this is shit, look at my completely biased article regarding why its shit"
Once he is confronted about it he links back to his own writings. Much like christian fanatics do
"good is real because it says so in the bible"
"but how can you trust that resource?"
"Because the bible is the word of God"
"and how do you know?"
"Because it is in the bible"
Circular arguments like that cannot be taken seriously. And what this guy does for the Smalltalk community hurts more than it helps really.
Claims like those are all around us. If we were to believe or consider them depending on who said what then we would never have the amazing cluster of tech choices that we have.
Take c++. It is absolutely powerful and gives you the ability to do pretty much anything. If we were to take Linus Torvalds's word about it being shit and only having subpar development we would miss on absolutely powerful tools.
The same came to me from Evee, writer of "PHP a fractal of bad design" or the "Node.js is cancer" article.
You are never going to please anyone with anything. I go by live and let live, and whilst I don't like some technologies I certainly don't look down on those that do.4 -
Since a few days I have my first dev job in a small it company. At my first day I directly stared to implement a rest api for managing dns servers.
Today I completed the prototype and all works well. What a feeling :)5 -
I'm pretty sure my browser is always open when I'm using my linux machine because I always don't know how to do what I really want to do.3
-
I can't believe I never saw this until now. The first pager I used was more, back in the old Unix days. When I started using Linux on the late 90s, I discovered less. Though less is clearly superior to more by almost any metric, it's still lacking in a lot of modern features. Enter most. Attractive, fast, packed with features(multiplexing? Yes, please!), and easy to drop in as the default pager(so manpages don't suck).
It's in ubuntu's default package repos, and I assume it's in the defaults for all the other major distros too. I cannot recommend it enough.1 -
Last night: Wow, I just finished that massive feature and I still get some time left! Why not play something?!
Oh crap, this game is so cool but my video card drivers needs an update (AMD Radeon on a Fedora system).
The proprietary drivers don't run on this version of Xorg server... Fine, let's search for some solutions online and... Hey! Found it! Let's see: downgrade Xorg, download the driver, patch it for your kernel version...
Did I just fucked my display? Oh yeah... Let's try to fix it........
Fuck...
5am: Finally got it all working perfectly again... Fuck this game, I hate it!3 -
swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?1 -
my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.3 -
You have 10 notices that your rant had gotten a ++, but the total score has only gone up by one.
😒2 -
What?
I don't get it?
That doesn't make any scene....
goto line 5980
😎 coding like a boss....
goto line 8764
🤡 I have no idea what I'm doing.... -
When facebook and youtube adds are nothing but clients you built websites for.😒
Someone needs to update their algorithm to more than just 'how many times you visited a website before.' -
I have successfully achieved the developers nightmare.
Eating with siblings at the table yesterday and found the printer to be broken, again. Okay, easy fix, I thought; connect it back to the WiFi and its good.
My mom asks to teach her how to fix it, but it was too late because I already did. But then there was my younger brother. He says “Ask Gerry, he is the printer guy.” (No, Gerry is not my real name)
I didn’t take it too hard but I did joke with him by fake attempting to punch him. I think he got the point.😂1 -
The best thing about graduating from a shitty College is checking the school's page years later to find out that someone created a page called "<College name> Secret Files". Out of curiosity and insomnia, you decide to click it only to see that the top post says, "If only I can shout how much I love you. <crying emojis>"
Cringe before bed time.2 -
Every month I re-evaluate the code I had written previously to compare my progress in coding standards...
Turns out I need a time machine to go back in time and slap myself1 -
Me: I'm quite good at C programming language
Also me: Checks man page for library functions' information6 -
The sorting button on devRant's feed page is just Gilfoyle's tattoo twice, once upside down like Dinesh says.
3 -
I use spaces instead of tabs. Working beside me, my mates were irritated of that beautiful sound(they called it noise) from my keyboard.6
-
Not a rant, just another story about me and the man I'm gonna wife.
We both have an upcoming job interview, and I was just talking about how at our previous internship I was using python to automate some tedious tasks for me.
Me: it's like a general thing, right, to just automate things you don't really want to do
...
Me: like breathing, and waking up, ya know? I don't wanna do that shit
Him: it kind of already is automated.
Me: *three years of wasted time at med school come tumbling back in to my brain, suddenly recalling the brainstem*
Me: oh, yeah.1 -
So a package came at my door today and it looked like it had stickers in it. I thought they were my devRant stickers and became so overjoyed I happily signed the package and quickly went back in without reading the sender's name.
And then I opened it up and it had a phone's battery.
My sis-in-law sent her phone's battery and asked me to buy and send her a replacement.
Feels fucking bad, man... -
My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!3
-
Shit, loads to do, but I have man flu. I can't concentrate for more than a few minutes. I've decided to abandon all hope of doing anything today. Daytime TV, how shit you are, sometimes shit is exactly what I need.2
-
Love Squirrel Girl, the super hero with the powers of a squirrel, and a degree in computer science.
4 -
I'm still on my answer one question a day mission.
With this time, to fight back with "this doesn't work", I almost create codesandbox for every answer. (Assume there's enough info)
But, my gut tells me I probably gonna loss reputation again.
7 -
I haven't killed a process in a long time so I typed, "man kill".
Why do I feel so triggered right now?3 -
Used to Google all my `man` pages... Don't really know why. Formatting maybe. Then I typed `man date`... I use `man` for my `man` pages now.3
-
I love working as one-man army in multiple projects. Just love.
I got sick, stayed in bed for a week and now, after getting back to work, everything went to shit. And there's no one but me to fix the whole mess.
Yay.1 -
That time when I was extracting a 50GB archive and it failed at 99% :'(
Hope it was just 10 seconds though...
It was way, waaaaay more...
2 -
I hate how the world works sometimes, get a potential chance to work in my dream job after having no contact from any other workplaces and boom, as soon as I might be on the right track I get offered a full time position as a level 1 help desk technician... Fuck3
-
Getting a new laptop is exhausting if you haven't been keeping up with the technology. I have purchased three laptops in the last two weeks returning the first two after spending 10 + hours each installing updates and software just to find out they didn't work for what I needed.1
-
"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.1 -
I need to stop adding, weep uncontrollably, between tasks in my work to do list before my coworkers start thinking I'm serious.
Technically I am serious - you would be too if you had to manage the servers I inherited - but I don't want to ruin the all powerful Wizard of Oz vibe I got going.1 -
That moment when you solve an issue that you had a super hacky work around for the last 2 months, but the proper way. It's like crack.
1 -
var devRant = new DevRant();
devRant.Subscribed += (target, args) =>
{
Console.WriteLine("Welcome, " + args.User.Name + "!");
}
...
var self = devRant.GetCurrentUser();
self.Subscribe();
...
...
> Welcome, olezhka!4 -
When you learn to work with unix but you forget what "man" stands for because english is not your native language so you man man...
Its "manual" btw... -
Hello dear fellow programmers,
Lately I'm faced with an issue: i can't code. It takes me a really long time to get my codeengine running and it stops on the first occasion, it either be a cigarette pause, a question from a coworker or what ever.
I love code and I have a blast when I start but I have a hard time starting it.
What to do? I'm a bit at a loss here1 -
When you commit half your modified files because you didn't make changesets when working on multiple tasks at the same time and you hope you don't break the build5
-
This book I'm reading on SEO is like drinking nightquil.
The more I read the harder it gets to not pass out.6 -
You know when your one man project has come along so far that it suddenly is more fun to use it than develop it. How do you guys muster up the discipline to keep working towards the goal?5
-
Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
But... ?
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9 -
Nice man page, I quote:
$ git help whatchanged
'[...] The command is kept primarily for historical reasons; fingers of many people who learned Git long before git log was invented by reading Linux kernel mailing list are trained to type it. [...]' -
The best part about working on Someone else's UI bug fixes is that you get to look like a hero when you fix the bugs and make all their work look like a sham - asshole 101
-
"I don't think anyone will mind if we update and make all old code incompatible."
- every reat/soap service the day after you finish development. -
anyone else get second thoughts about their bank when they see this kind of message after logging in?
"Online Banking is unavailable
We are really sorry we are preventing you from completing your banking today. Our technical teams are aware and actively investigating. Please know they are working hard to restore service as soon as possible.
Please call us at 123-456-7890 for banking assistance or information."
er... what?2 -
Me : .. but sir without sass/js compiled, how can we address the issue?
Boss : that is not an issue, issue is with on approach we have taken?
You sick fuck, you take other developers un-finished work, expect me to finish it (which it did) and when the other developer is not smart enough to copy paste the solution, you give an "update" to me, I mean how the fuck, what ever..
I really really put efforts to make this shit happen, I know very little about your commerce cloud shit, but when you question my logic on basis of someone who will pay you to finish her work, it is very unethical and hard to swallow it down.
Maybe this is my first real job, that is why this is so hard, but I gotta do what I gotta do -
How come that one bathroom stall at work with decent wifi coverage is occupied practically 24/7? Does somebody live there?
-
I'm overhearing two engineers agree that integration tests are enough and unit tests with mock data are unnecessary while the project has problems figuring out what components are critically misbehaving.
-
!Rant
Today I figured out how to cache the 'node_modules' folder on all my CircleCI builds, which cut the build time by 4 minutes, about 60%!
👍🍰
-
!dev at all, but I just had to share it with someone. I know I'm quite late to the party here, but hey, I might not be the only one walking in darkness here...
Anyway! I just came over this cover of Sound of Silence by Disturbed. It fucking floored me! How the fuck is a man supposed to keep up his dogma induced stonewall when someone creates something so fucking beautiful? This cover is truly an epic recording of what was already an amazing song, but not something you'd play on repeat.
Add some metal to the mix and man...! I can't hear it enough... Drives the wife crazy :D
Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/u9Dg-g7t2l4
PS! Do watch the video, crank up the volume and relax. Oh, and use real speakers or a decent headset at least somewhat capable of tickling your spine :P -
Ryan Dahl working on Deno is one of the current interesting projects that I have been following.
Initially, the dude was trying to use Golang and is currently migrating to cpp and rust since Golang is a gc language. Nothing wrong with that really. I am just excited to see what this man comes up, and Typescript as the main language? Fuck yeah.
This shit js gonna be bomb af. Happy to see him talk to openly about his flaws when building Node, which was still a massive success and a true game changer for a lot of people(me included) and I believe that Deno will repeat this. It already has 24k stars on Github and tracking the repo has become very interesting! I just wish i had the cpp/rust knowledge needed to help out with it.3 -
|----------------------------------------------------|
| FALSE(1) User Commands |
| |
| NAME |
| false - do nothing, unsuccessfully |
|----------------------------------------------------|
My daily activity summed up in a linux command man page. -
i know i could have done this in 10 min using our current framework,
but i really wanted to learn this new framework.
only took 10 hours to figure out.
still considering it a win.1 -
By the end of the day my eyes always feel like they are on fire.
After four years of this it is time to get some blue light filtering computer glasses.6 -
Just started working on Alexa skills ,
And I must say , feel like a dog lost in a pool of balls plastic balls, while am chained to a pole. So much I can do.. but there’s no documentation as to how things work
All the docs available are old, and I didn’t really understand how things are working5 -
i really dislike inheriting depricated projects😓.
really wanted to use angular 2 for current project but our hosting server is outdated and nodejs wont run on it.
realy wish we could update the server, but doing this would break 10 older sites we are being paid to host .
any ideas?15 -
Anybody else get shouted at by partner when you put all heavy stuff at front of conveyer when shopping, or rearrange dishwasher so more things will fit, etc. I thought I was just being logical about these things...1
-
Feature request: please allow the app to work in landscape and rotate. I can't get to the hamburger menu in bottom right due to broken screen3
-
I still wonder why there's this "a man writes more optimised code than compiler" stuff. Why?
Compiler is automated work, in the worst case it should be able to create multiple e.g. asms and compare the time, right? You can dump all instructions into compiler, it should be able to choose the right one even if it would compile whole days, right? You can't be possibly serious with such a statement.
No "time" arguments, please.2 -
I should have been a farmer. I don't have the will to continue making changes to the app because "But the client wants to be able to add more photos". Why can't the PMO just get me 1 project with clear deliverables from the onset.2
-
I'm starting to look at how to get devices to send data to an endpoint for storage and analysis. I'm looking at AWS iot stuff like core and green grass but then I'm thinking that a REST API could also do the job. I don't need to connect devices to each other (in first iteration). Dont think I need any edge stuff either. Anybody have any experience with this?3
-
Work has set us a challenge to build a rock/paper/scissors/dynamite/waterbomb api. We have the spec for what json is expected incoming and outgoing. We are allowed to implement any way we want and with any language we want. We are considering using Clojure but we have no experience with it, hence we will hopefully be learning as we go. Would you recommend using a framework like Pedestal, Hoplon, Luminus, or just use Leiningren or something else?
-
My Android professor: "Let's target Android 2.1. What is that compat library Android Studio included? Nah, let's remove it." He's on par with the latest features for sure!7
-
The crazy shenanigans you can do with C++ standard libs are fascinating.
Like implementig multithreading with just a foreach, and bindings which can make member function pointers to simple function pointers, and placeholders in bindings. Also lambda functions are cool.
Something between the lines:
my_crazy_class *tmp = new my_crazy_class(...);
std::vector<type> my_array = .....;
std::for_each(std::execution::par,my_array.begin(),my_array.end(),
[&](type in){
auto fn = std::bind( &my_crazy_class::my_crazy_fnc,*tmp,_1,random_static_value);
return fn(in);
});
ps:
It's pretty much pseudocode, and please don't do things like this, it's bad for your mental health.
pps:
I need to learn how to use this tools wisely. -
Sick at the start of the week end, then there was daylight savings time.
I haven't had a good night sleep in almost a week.
Calling it for the day to rest. Sacrificing half the day to save the next two. -
So we got new keyboards at the office. Turns out mine doesn't register the modifier keys well, resulting in plenty of selecting and replacing text with "z", "/" or whatever key I pressed along with it. You can't believe the amount of times my new toy almost flew out of a sixth story Brussels' window in the last couple of days. Anyway, still too lazy to go ask for a new keyboard.1
-
It took 8 million years for a monkey to evolve into a man. But still, a monkey went to space before a man.
-The Internet2 -
there is no time in the budget for refactoring the code that is being shipped to live.
the only refactoring i get done is the code going into my portfolio. -
Co-worker: I started having this issue like two weeks ago.
Me: Two weeks ago? Why are you only telling me now?
Co-worker: I dunno. I just stopped using <program> and worked around it.
Me: Thanks for the notice, man. That helped me tremendously /s -_-
FUCKING PUT IN A TICKRT OR TELL ME THAT THERE IS AN ISSUE. -
I recently un-boxed a pixel 2, though great on the specs side, I wouldn't buy it because of the looks and weight,
It just doesn't feel great in the hand, I mean if am spending that much, I should feel am holding a premium device at hand, but It feels like a dummy,
Camera might be great, but the bezel was too big -
"I am Iron Man"
lol
it really feels like this.....only the true "Code-runners" can understand this...
kek
4 -
Gals in devRant, are there some ways woman expresses her friendliness towards man when she is not necessarily attracted to him? When is she attracted and when she is not?4
-
I don't know how much use others get out of the zoom functionality in browsers.
normally i have several different browsers open with multiple windows on a single monitor with half of them zoomed to 50% so I can fit more and still see everything at once without juggling whats on top or switching desktops. -
Does anyone else constantly confuses android's camera icon with play store icon ?
I know, its minor thing but it drives me nuts... -
What's a good inexpensive android phone for development. Something 14 year olds could use without breaking6
-
did a google search for typesceipt date formating as just 'ts date'...
the results were less than helpful.1 -
Maybe I am picky, but:
Some people made a "FileStorage" API where in the open method you have flags like READ, WRITE, APPEND... And they made it like when you check WRITE the API opens/overwites to an empty file.
And when someon made a github Issue about this behaviour, they flagged it as a feature request. I'm so anoyed by not being able to overwite my data, thats just rude. Like should I use an file storage API to overwrite data like this:
0- Save file inner structure (you can't extract it from the API)
1- Open the file, parse the structure
2- Find file to overwrite
3- Save all the mess again
4- write your own API
5- sigh4
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