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AboutAsk me! :)
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SkillsC#
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LocationLagos, Nigeria
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Github
Joined devRant on 7/14/2016
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Customer: We need an app to replace the Excel ( bunch of forms with messy macros and script)
Also Customer: Can I export the form fill it in an excel and import again.
Me: Sure, Definitely
Inner me: Where's Thanos9 -
Last week, the team lead told me that he can't merge because my code has code smells and going forward, can't have that. We use Sonar and well the way to "fix it" according to him is to mark the line using //NOSONAR.
Most of the issues are minor like Unused imports and for me incomplete TODOs.
And before the "verbal" rule was only need to fix Major + issues. And well the reason I use TODOs is to mark code that probably needs changing in the future. I know there's going to be some feature that these lines have to be changed. But the requirements are fully defined yet from business.
But I sort of blew up on him. YOU WANT TO ENFORCE ZERO CODE SMELLS NOW?!?!?! AND THESE MINOR ISSUES? MARK THEM WITH NOSONAR?
HERE'S WHAT I THINK FOR THE LAST X YEARS... THE CODE DESIGN IS SHIT, MINOR CODE SMELLS AND MANUALLY MARKING THE ONES U NEED TO KEEP... ARE THE LEAST OF OUR PROBLEMS...
THE OTHER PROBLEMS I'VE MENTIONED BEFORE EVER. MOS YEAR BUT YOU DIMWITS NEVER LISTEN.
YOU THINK MY TODOS ARE BAD... 90% OF THE CODE AND FEATURES (THE ONES NOT DONE BY ME) LOOK AND SMELL LIKE MONKEY SHIT. UNDOCUMENTED, MESSY, FULL OF BUGS.
AND GUESS WHAT? NEW FEATURE, SOME DEV FORGETS TO CHANGE SOME COMPONENT THAT DEPENDS ON IT. WOULDN'T IT BE GREATE IF THERE WERE BOOKMARKS... O WAIT...
i just was catching up on comics again and saw this one... with triggered my memory and this rant... My first thought was to forward it to him...9 -
Code review titles by year:
1990 - your code is using to much memory
1995 - your code is not running on window 95
2000 - your code is slow
2003 - your code don't have tests
2005 - your code is not 64 bit
2009 - your code is not using mvc patters
2010 - your code is not horizontal scalable
2011 - your code should be written in js
2015 - your code is not mobile ready
2020 - your code is racist26 -
The fucking orgasm I got from an app I was fucking with for two days finally compiles! Yessss!
Now to develop this c++ app2 -
This is the first time an IDE has apologized to me.
PS: Dev notes, crash reports etc are excluded. This is the IDE saying sorry I can't do it, no matter what.11 -
Manager: Why is no one innovating?
Me: You hired all of us based on culture fit so you have optimized only in that direction. Everyone is same ... like you
Manager: You are right.4 -
Anyone else *was* going to CSS day and felt a wave of sadness when they got the email it was cancelled ?
display:none; -
passionately making love on Friday morning.
Cellphone buzzes for WhatsApp notification, ignored.
Call ignored, SMS ignored, again call, ignored.
She : whose that bitch calling you?
Me : it's no one important.
She : Checks WhatsApp, message from CTO, server crashed.
Me : Umm, darling, I need to fix this.
It's been 2 days she hasn't answered my call after she left.15 -
Keep this between us, but I got sexually assaulted in a work party by a very old guy who worked at the venue.
I didn't bring it up because a) I had already resigned from that company and was on my notice period, and b) I was going to leave the country in a few weeks and couldn't be arsed having to think about it on my vacation or even after.
Still pretty awkward with myself because after that, the very drunk me got emotionally unhinged, went outside and cried my eyes out for no reason. 😐
Like, it wasn't even the worst assault that has ever happened to me so what was the hysterical crying and panic about ffs?18 -
Few weeks ago one guy has posted here something like: "Just started work at PornHub".
And now I see this:
(coincidence?..)21 -
Designers,
■■■■■■■ please
■■■■ stop
■■■■■■■■■ using
■■ charts
■■■■■ to show
■■■■■■■ your skills
■■■■ in your
■■■■■■■ resume18