'Nobody told me that the database was part of the backend'

The way 90% of the population wears their face masks really explains a lot about their approach to using software, apps & websites as well.

I feel like giving up.

I am not a developer for the salary, or just to solve analytical puzzles. Those are motivators, but my main drive is to make the world more comfortable and enjoyable, better optimized, build ethical services which bring happiness into people's lives. I want to improve society, even if it's just a tiny bit.

But if users invest absolutely zero percent of their limited brain capacity into understanding a product that already has a super-clean design and responds with helpful validation messages...

...why the fuck bother.

I used to think of the gap between technology and tech-incompetent people as an optimization problem.

As something which could be fixed by spending a fortune on UX research. Write tests, hire QA employees, decrease tech debt, create a bold but unified & simple design.

But the technologically incompetent just get more entitled with every small thing you simplify.

It's never fucking fool-proof enough.

Why can't I upload a 220MB PDF as profile picture? Why doesn't the app install on my 9 year old Android Froyo phone? Why can't I sign up if my phone number contains a  U+FFFC? Why does this page load so slowly from my rural concrete bunker in East Ukraine? WHY DO I HAVE PNEUMONIA, HOW DID I GET INFECTED EVEN THOUGH I WAS WEARING A MOUTH MASK ON MY FOREHEAD?

This is why I ran away from Frontend, to Backend, to DBA.

If I could remove myself further from the end user, I would.

At least I still have a full glass of tawny port and a huge database which needs to be normalized & migrated.

Fuck humans, I'm going to hug a server.

You know it's bad when Github finds it necessary to tell you your code is trash

Dumbest arrow key design ever.

Found this somewhere and started crying

No comments allowed in JSON pisses me off so much.

Sure, I get all the arguments of "it's supposed to be a data-only format for machines", "there are alternatives which support comments", and "you can add comments and then minify the file before parsing"

But right now, when I just need to put a quick note inside a super confusing legacy package manager config about why certain dependencies to be frozen at a specific version, IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF THAT I CAN'T JUST ADD A FUCKING COMMENT.

Kindness is strength, not weakness

DEAR FRONTEND CLIENTS

STOP ASKING ME TO DO THE GEOMETRICALLY IMPOSSIBLE

YOU PASSED FIRST GRADE YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW SHAPES WORK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

There's a special place in my naughty list reserved for those competitions that promise "free swag" as a participation prize...

...then give you a $10 voucher to spend in their store to buy a shirt, before telling you you'll need to pay $50 in international shipping 😡

Someone has to fucking say it.

after 4 chrome tabs

W00T!
Company bonus was announced. Not “car buying money”, but I’ll take it.

Relatives: what do you do?
Me: Software Engineer
Relatives: Can you please fix my printer!
Me: what ????

Bulma CSS is awesome ♥️

Uhh... That's cool! Someone hacked the public website for Dublin's tram system...

New year resolution: resume a personal project I put aside for the last 5 years, and keep at it for a while.

5/6 years ago I was pissed that no mobile game uses touch interface to detect "spells" being drawn on the screen and decided to have a go at it. I remember a game of the 90s doing that with the mouse, which was super cool at the time.

I had a working (but ugly) game, but the last 20% to publish the game was more than my motivation allowed at the time and I let it rot.

Let's see if I can get it done this time.

Very confusing

Polished statistics

100%

Does this count as Donald Duck debugging? 🦆🍊

JS get your shit together

Me: Hey can you make another cup of coffee like this one for my friend?

Rust: Sure, but you know it's expensive, right? Why don't you just let your friend borrow your coffee?

Me: Alright, but I have two friends.

Rust: No problem, you can share it with as many friends as you’d like, but only one of you is allowed to drink it.

C++: Hey wait! I’ll gladly make a cup of your coffee for your friends! I’ll even let them share it! Heck, they can even share yours!

Rust: Hey C++, you know copying coffee is expensive.

C++: Of course I do, but he didn’t define move construction or assignment, so he implicitly wants a copy!

Me: [To my friends:] Hey, let’s just go over to the Python coffee shop.

Rust: [To C++:] Hmph. The baristas at that place will even let you declare that a muffin is a cup of coffee.

C++: Yeah, but wait till they try to drink it. I hear it can be quite exceptional....

———

Slightly modified from this comment on a Reddit post that I found humorous — only I probably made it much less funny: https://reddit.com/r/...

Compile..compile..compile xD

sad true story

This is from my personal experience. I've been working on an Android app, I'm a web developer tho. I don't have much experience in java but just watching a decent YouTube tutorial and getting the source code to play with, helped me more than I had hoped for.

2018 in nutshell

There’s not enough female devs

"If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in." - E. W. Dijkstra

This month is going pretty well so far..

New job: ☑️
Get out of FinTech: ☑️
New place: ☑️
Get rid of car #1: ☑️
Get rid of car #2: ☑️
Pay a shit lot of taxes: ☑️
Still have some money to on the side: ☑️
Book flight&car: ⬜️
Register in new country: ⬜️

And still 2 weeks to go.
Holidays are coming though..

I actually did a sticky label agile board for this 😄

I did engineering for this