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Customer: how will this heading look in bold?
Me: Hold a sec, I will show you *opens developer tools in chrome and increments font-weight*
Customer: NO NO NO, undo this. I don't want you to mess up my website.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
"The most important skill in life is mitigating frustrations, but please don't get good at it — your suffering is hilarious"
— Girlfriend, while I was trying to fix her CPU cooler.
I realized immediately she just explained why this community exists.7 -
Me: I have been working for you for almost 12 years now, and I feel that my current pay is not comparable to the work I currently produce. Therefore, in order to secure my future as your employee, I must request an immediate raise in pay to a level that is acceptable.
Boss: I can't afford it. If you want more money, you need to bring in more clients, plain and simple.
Me: I'm serious. If I don't get a raise, I will qui---
Girlfriend: Babe, stop talking to yourself and come to bed...
Me: Okay... [looks in mirror] This isn't finished...12 -
Me: Sometimes I talk to myself while debugging.
Me: OMG 😱, me too..
Me: Lets try pair programming next time.9 -
My mom walks in and asks what am I doing and I said hacking government files and she called the police thanks mom😑14
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What devrant taught me:
Everyone hates java
Everyone hates php
Everyone hates spaces
Everyone hates tabs
Everyone hates vim
Everyone hates windows
Everyone hates gnu+linux
Everyone hates clients
Everyone hates PMs
Everyone hates every language they're not working with
Everyone loves devrant 😀😄😙29 -
Friend texted me some binary.
Decided to impress him and decode it by hand.
Spent 5 minutes decoding "I eat ass".6 -
Friend : Hey bro I made an awesome program which shows your future wife's name.
Me : Hey that sounds interesting, show me the source code bro !!
Friend shows the code :
#include <bits/stdc++.h>
using namespace std;
int main()
{
string first_name , last_name;
cout << "Enter your first name\n";
cin >> first_name ;
cout << "Enter your last name\n";
cin >> last_name ;
cout << "Your wife's name is " << "Mrs " << last_name << "\n";
}
Me : Dude you are gonna crack Google some day :P17 -
I just saw a website that hid the login and sign up buttons while ad block was enabled. No popups or anything asking me to disable the ad block.
Well played developer, well played.6 -
Today I told my boss to move from windows server to Linux Based Server.
Boss: Linux Server is used for small and light projects only.
.
Me: 😠🔫22 -
Try => fail
Try => fail
Try => fail
Try => fail
Try => little success
Try => fail
Try => fail
Try => I think I've got it
Try => almost there
Try => fail
Try => fail
Try => oh, is that the problem?
Try => fail
.
.
.
=> SUCCESS12