Source /r/ProgrammerHumor

I kinda feel sorry for him

When i see people running notepad through wine on linux machine.

Strongly typed SMS

Who wants these?

For less than a second, I thought I found a bug on devrant

When a non-coworker stars your project on github.

I guess my dog doesnt like Dev rant. Bye bye 1.5 year old stress ball :,(

A sad day it is

i love programming cz it's fucking awesome

credits to @mattiasgeniar

js validation

Savage!!! (-Programming Geeks)

I hate those fucking sites which make you login first and then redirect to their home page.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, ITS 2017. CANT YOU BASTARDS WRITE A FEW LINES OF CODE SO THAT I AM AUTOMATICALLY REDIRECTED TO WHERE I WAS AND I NEED NOT BACKSPACE EVERY TIME I LOGIN?

Procrastination is like masturbation: it feels good while you're doing it but you're only fucking yourself.

- I remember this every time, it doesn't help much but it does make me chuckle.

29-year veteran here. Began programming professionally in 1990, writing BASIC applications for an 8-bit Apple II+ computer. Learned Pascal, C, Clipper, COBOL. Ironic side-story: back then, my university colleagues and I used to make fun of old COBOL programmers. Fortunately, I never had to actually work with the language, but the knowledge allowed me to qualify for a decent job position, back in '92.

For a while, I worked with an IBM mainframe, using REXX and EXEC2 scripting languages for the VM/SP operating system. Then I began programming for the web, wrote my first dynamic web applications with cgi-bin shell and Perl scripts. Used the little-known IBM Net.Data scripting language. I finally learned PHP and settled with it for many, many years.

I always wanted to be a programmer. As a kid I dreamed of being like Kevin Flynn, of TRON - create world famous videogames and live upstairs my own arcade place! Later on, at some point, I was disappointed, I questioned my skills, I thought I should do more, I let other people's expectations make feel bad. Then I finally realized I actually enjoy a quieter, simpler life. And I made peace with it.

I'm now like the old programmers I used to mock 30 years ago. There's so much shit inside my brain. And everything seems so damn complex these days. Frameworks, package managers, transpilers, layers and more layers of code. I try to keep up. And the more I learn, the more it seems I don't know.

Sometimes I feel tired. Yet, I still enjoy creating things and solving problems with programming. I still have fun learning. And after all these years, I learned to be proud of my work, even if it didn't turn out to be as glamorous as in the movies.

First world problems...

I've been working at this startup as a tech lead for a little over a year, and we've grown from 3 to over 150 employees, and a bit over a million end users.

I've spent tens of thousands on high end displays and chairs for your lazy butts, on external consultants to help and train you, even those fucking dirty recruiters have leeched their shares of the pie. I built an amazing luxury kitchen with a fridge, beer cooler, induction plates and a blender for all your crossfitting bodybuilder meals, but forgot to think of my own needs.

NOW I JUST WANT TO BUY A GOOD COFFEEMAKER AND ALL THESE FUCKING TEASLURPING FAKE DEV-BROS SUDDENLY START SCREAMING ABOUT BUDGETS AND HOW COFFEE IS NOT NECESSARY IF YOU MEDITATE. FUCK YOU, WE'RE LIKE THE ONLY STARTUP IN THE COUNTRY RUNNING A FAT PROFIT. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID MINDFULNESS IOS APP. GIVE ME MY FUCKING ESPRESSO OR I'LL BLEND YOUR BALLS INTO A PROTEIN SHAKE.

Definition of Irony:

When your css works in IE but not in Firefox.

Fuck this shit, I'm out.

Ever visit a site/web app that's so bad you want to build them a new one for free?

The worst thing about being a dev is after a while your reaction to every problem is this: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Or this: ಠ_ಠ

Our programming teacher showed us some parts if his code the other day. When I asked him why he got an empty if-block in there he responded with "cause I only need the else-block"