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An area sales rep once rang me to tell me his iPhone screen was cracked and was going blurry around some sections.
I told him to fetch me to look, and I will see what I can do.
5 minutes later I get a SCREENSHOT from his phone asking if I can see the crack and blurry edges.
HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE THESE PEOPLE!!!
I mean, come on. He seriously said when I called him: "But I can see the crack and blurry bits on the screenshot on my phone"4 -
I feel so sorry for all the people in the world who use their phone more than their PC/laptop.
All the pitiful souls who think they're gamers because they installed lootchest simulator on their little digital skinner box. All the sad beings who just view the internet as a collection of ad-infested apps.
Actually, I don't feel sorry, because these people make the world a worse place.
Suddenly we needed websites which could render on tiny screens and need bloated cross-platform app development frameworks. Many game studios became parasites exploiting addictive behavior in humans, instead of creating works of art.
Humans spent 10,000 years to perfect their caves with expensive kitchens, and all people want is for their WiFi to reach the grill at the end of the garden. Humans created central heating, comfortable couches, wall-mounted TVs and luxurious desks -- and all people can think of is whether their phone plan covers holiday roaming at their shitty resorts.
The rare times I do actually go into this apocalyptic wasteland people call "The Outside", all I see is subway cars full of hunched addicted drudges, bus stops with clusters of enslaved automatons.
Fuck all of them.
Fuck all of you imbeciles, who ventured out of the cave and now DARE to call me anti-social, just for preferring the warmth of my comfortable protective den.
It's fucking cozy here, within the walls of my shelter, I got booze and a fridge full of food and a bunch of LSD, I can masturbate under the shower, have sex on the couch, have all kinds of GIANT displays for entertainment, with full-sized qwerty-keyboards, high-DPI mouses, even some console controllers and big TVs if I feel lazy.
You can stick your responsive websites and social-network-integrated Android apps up your rectum, just sit your fucking fat ass down in front of a workstation and desperately refresh the stream of fake attention-seeking messages there, if you absolutely must.
Seriously, why does this guy from our marketing department call me on my private phone number. Why did HR PROVIDE him with my private phone number?
And WHY THE FUCK is he asking me, a DB admin: "Our website doesn't load properly on Safari on my iPhone 7, could you take a look at it"?
No, of course I won't fucking come to the office to take a look at your miserable shitty device with its cracked glass screen.
Fuck you and your outdoorsy habits.
Stay the fuck in your cave, you degenerate attention whore, otherwise please go choke on your airpods.19 -
Security rant ahead - you have been warned.
It never fails to amuse and irritate me that, despite being in the 2019 supposed information age, people still don't understand or care about their security.
I've travelled to a lot of ports and a lot of countries, but, at EVERY port, without fail, there will be at least one wifi that:
- Has default name/password that has been cracked already (Thomson/SpeedTouch/Netfaster etc)
- Has a phone number as password (reduces crack time to 15-30 mins)
- Someone, to this day, has plain old WEP
I am not talking about cafeteria/store wifi but home networks. WTF people?! I can check my email (through VPN, of course) but it still bugs me. I have relented to try and snoop around the network - I can get carried away, which is bad. Still...
The speed is great though :P9 -
So you think it's bad when your friends, family, strangers and others ask you to fix their phone or computer is bad when they hear you're a programmer, IT or good with computers?
You think it's bad when they ask you whether you're hacking when they see code or terminal on your screen?
You think it's bad when they ask you to fix a cracked phone screen because you work with computers?
Well, think again because today my teammate was asked to fix a vending machine by X from another department because, according to X the vending was not accepting X's other dollar bill. The first dollar bill was accepted so why wouldn't it accept the 2nd one? Because the 🤬 dollar bill is crumpled. That's it.
What wows me is what made X think this is an IT issue.
According to X.... "because it has power, lights and touch screen so IT can fix it That's what you guys do, right? You can fix anything".
Me: wait!?, what?, uhhh..., are you serious? Wtf? Why? Grrrr4 -
Stewart doing his routine security brief:
"Please put your phone on airplane mode.
If you own a Galaxy Note 7, please turn it off."
*Half of passengers cracked up*3 -
Sent email to my parents this morning telling them to contact me by email since the Pie update broke my One Plus 6 (when I tried to reroot it but got a bootloop and restoring from TWRP screwed it up even more somehow) so restoring it.
First response from my dad: you can use my spare S9...
Yes he has a spare because he got it in a 2 for 1 deal... but I'm thinking uhhh..... It's not like I physically dropped the phone and cracked the screen... (like he did to his late 2 phones)... I'm 99% sure I can restore somehow... Like I did last time (a few months ago)7 -
I hadn't used devRant in a while since I'm preparing for an upcoming job interview and was trying to stay away from my phone.
However, I cracked today and I spent the whole afternoon staring at this beautiful dark-themed interface and reading rants.5 -
I just broke 2 phones in two days... believe it or not... Both screens cracked and no swipe functionality survived...
I miss my fucking Nokia Lumia 930... that motherfucker was almost fully destroyed, screen cracked as shit, I could actually hold the screen on one hand and the rest of the phone on the other and it was still fucking working...
Needless to say, I'm going to Amazon and I'm getting a new Nokia phone, fuck LG, fuck Sony.2 -
Got my phone back after a service screen replacement. This was my lockscreen wallpaper before the screen cracked.
4 -
Accidentally dropped my Pixel 3 this morning, which I bought just a week ago. 😭 And now there's a visible crack on the back of the lower-left corner. 😭 Thought that was the only one until I inspected my phone again and noticed a long, fine crack along the back... 😭😭😭
Man, whatever happened to the days when it was PHONES that smashed walls and floors instead??
And in case you're wondering, yes I have bought a case for it--still waiting for it to arrive...7 -
Today my 2 week old phone slips out of my pocket while standing up, falls on the screen and now it's cracked in multiple places. FML.
RIP Stormtrooper (he's black and white).
Repair is 30% of the new price. Worth it, but still a lot of money and 10 days without the phone.
Aaarghhhh!8 -
Second Rant incoming!
I have a Elephone p9000 (China Smartphone). Great Value for it's price if you don't mind a shit camera.
Also, this is actually my second model! I cracked my screen and tried to replace it. Somehow I managed ti puncture the battery and nearly set my house on fire but that is another story.
This rant is about how the sd/sim-card read is FAILING ME! Everytime I call someone, my sim-card ejects spontaneously, thus ending the call. It's so goddamn annoying having to recall the same person every two minutes...
I tried inserting the sim-card in the other slot because it has dual sim but nothing changed...guess I need a new Phone. FML2 -
On the middle of a lecture, someone forgot to turn their phone down and right at a quiet bit we hear
"SEGA"
Best part is I'd forgotten about this and cracked up when I was listening to the recording1 -
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I never thought my grandmother's book club would save my crypto fortune, but life is full of surprises. In the mayhem of moving into a new apartment, I mislaid my hardware wallet containing $400,000 in Bitcoin. I had packed it securely-at least, that's what I thought-but after unpacking every single box, it was nowhere to be found. First, I kept my cool. It had to be here somewhere, right? But when hours turned into days, my confidence crumbled. I tore through bags, checked jacket pockets; I even looked in the fridge in sheer desperation. Nothing. Next came panic: Had I thrown it out accidentally? Had the movers taken it? I couldn't get this vision out of my head that somehow my fortune had poofed into thin air. Frustrated and exhausted, I mentioned my predicament to my grandmother during a phone call. Instead of the usual "You should be more careful" speech, she surprised me. Oh, I've heard of a company that helps with that!" she said cheerfully. I almost dropped the phone. My grandma knew about crypto recovery? Turns out, her book club had a guest speaker, a retired cybersecurity expert who raved about Digital resolution services. She even remembered their website. At this point, I would have tried everything. I contacted them, and from the first conversation, I knew I was in good hands. Their staff was professional and patient, above all confident. They asked for detailed questions relating to my wallet, where I last saw it, and how it was backed up. Days later, they cracked the case. Using forensic data recovery and some advanced tracking techniques, they helped me regain access to my lost Bitcoin. It was a feeling of relief that cannot be described because I went from utter dejection to pure joy in a moment. More than a recovery service, Digital resolution services taught me something: never underestimate grandma's wisdom. Now, my hardware wallet is stored safely, with multiple backups, and I will never forget this lesson: when Nana talks, I will listen.
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Be safe
muriel halley
1
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