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Joined devRant on 7/14/2016
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*Teammate writes some instructions for our users and sends it to the rest of the team to review and let her know before she pushes it out
Me: *reads it and lets her know what is missing
Her: Idgaf what any one thinks. If they can’t figure it out, it’s their problem. And if anyone makes changes to it and the users can’t under it either, I’ll tell them to ask whoever made the changes.
Me: *starts cracking up. Like wtf!?!?! You know what, I’m not touching it so if anyone asks I can tell them to reach out to you!
Like, how are you offended because I’m a junior in your team and you can’t take criticism after you’ve personally asked for it? Smh7
What’s up with HR calling to do technical interview and asking questions she doesn’t even know the answers to? Bruh, all that time I thought I was speaking with the Hiring Manager only to find out she’s HR when I asked her ONE technical question then she goes..”Oh, I won’t be able to answer that. I’m not technical in this role, I’m just the HR but I can schedule an onsite interview with the hiring manager.”
Me: I believe it’ll be beneficial to have a phone conversation or interview with the hiring manager before deciding if it’s worth coming onsite for an in-person interview.
HR: Ok, I’ll see his availability.
I’m not even concerned if she calls back or not. Plus the rate she’s talking about is really disrespectful.2
Currently on the train to work:
*Guy pulls out his laptop
Me: *Oh nice. Dell laptop. Oh wait, shoot, that’s a Dell XPS 15. 😎Sweet!! Looks super clean. Get it boss, I salute you. Anyway, it’s probably running Windows 10 as expected. It’d be super cool if it run Ubuntu though.
*Guy lifts laptop lid.
Me: *Ahh, look how clean it is too. No fingerprints or smudges on the screen or keyboard. That’s my style. I like this guy. We can definitely share laptops.
*Guy powers on laptop
Me:*Woooooohooooo, no way!!! Gets a little tear of joy in my eyes. I want to hug this guy. This guy rocks. Oh mann, I want to start a conversation with him but can’t because another passenger is standing between us.
*The laptop run Ubuntu! 😍😱😁18
I think celebrated too early. Lol. So we moved our servers offsite to a data centre this weekend. Everything was done yesterday and we started testing stuff late last night and we are today. Everything was going great and now, they’re beginning to fail again.
All I’m asking for now is to pray for my team and I before the office opens tomorrow. 😁
“Hello sir, you have to renew your subscription before tomorrow else you’ll be charged $299.99 from your bank account.”
Me: And what’s this subscription you’re talking?
“Your Microsoft antivirus subscription, sir.”
Me: Oh wow, and when did I subscribe to this?
“Three years ago, sir.”
Me: lmbo. Please find someone else to scam.
“No sir, it shows here that you subscribed to Microsoft antivirus 3 years ago.”
Me: Dude, I was in college three years ago. I was too broke to be subscribing to useless stuff like this.
“But sir, its an antivirus. You subscribed to protect your Windows PC from viruses, malware so that bad people and hackers don’t get into your computer to do bad things and steal your info.”
Me: Well, what a coincidence. You’re describing yourself except you’re trying to attack my bank account not my pc. And oh, I’ve been using Linux for the past 5 years and currently own a MacBook so good luck finding someone to fall for this.
“Oh, I see. Sorry.”
*Scammer hangs up.
Lmbo, like dude seriously?
Unfortunately though, someone at my work mother fell for this and had to close all her accounts and create new ones.19
The monitors came in today. 2x 24" Dell P2419HC monitors. Picked up keyboard from Best buy this morning. Let's get this set up going.
Oh and if you care to know, the laptop on the floor is HP Pavilion running Elementary OS with a 128gb SSD. It runs really well but battery life is a misery. I've had it for over 8years and I still use it. Love it!! 😍8
Woke up this morning to the message below:
"I have [ insert name ]'s old laptop. Can you please have a look at it , i mean to see if it can be fixed.It seems fine."
Long story short.. Windows 10 out, Elementary OS in! While I enjoy this pizza at the same time. Funny thing is, the time taken to install Elementary OS was shorter than the time Windows was taking to update this laptop..oh well, another old PC joins the Linux laptops in the house.9
Configuring my new MacBook Pro
• jre ✓
• jdk ✓
• Android studio ....
• let's see what we get when we type "git" in Terminal.. surprise!!! You have to download Xcode which is 5.30GB. Goodness. Can I cry now? 😭😭😭23
Thank God it's Friday and my brain is toasted from this specific email to IT department which I had to call to get more details. Here are the parties involved.
1) Original sender (OS), 2) Sender to IT (SIT), 3) IT (Me)
SIT: Can someone from IT print this for OS? She's having issue printing.
Me: It's just an image file in the email. What issues is she having when trying to print?
SIT: Idk. She said she's having issues printing.
Me: Yeah, but what issue? She can't connect to printer, the file won't open or what? Can you ask her what the issue is?
SIT: *hold on...comes back... She just said that again..issue printing..
Me: Well, we need to know what issues it is so we can fix it. In that case she can print and not keep sending documents or files to someone else to print. Btw, did you try printing the image file?
SIT:Since she said she's having issue printing I figured to send to IT to fix the issue and print. I didn't print it.
Me: 😕😂🤔🤨😒..what? First of I still don't know whatever issue she is having. Second, you should try printing it and if you also have issues, let me know.
SIT: Ok how?
Me: *shows her how to get
SIT: Thanks it printed. Now I'm also wondering what issue she was having because this was easy to print..
Me: Can you transfer me to her phone?
Now pay attention here. She is SIT's boss.
Me: Hi OS, what issue are you having when trying to print the image file in your email? I'd like to fix it so you don't encounter that issue from now on..
OS: No issues. I was too busy to do it so I asked my secretary to do it.
Me: So you can print image files with no issues, correct?
OS: Yes.. actually I just printed my a picture my daughter sent me.
Me: Ok, have a nice..
*I call SIT back
Me: She's all set
SIT: Thank you so much fo fixing her issue.
Me: She didn't have any issue. She can print fine..
Me: Have a good day, SIT..
😂😂😂😂 I was WOWED!!!6
Yesterday I was hanging with the guys from our Records dpt in the staff lounge. Their manager is a pretty nice talkative guy. Everything was going well until this happened..
Him: Hey you, I have an idea for an app. You can"definitely" help me, right? Or someone you know who also does the code thing..
Me: It depends. Just before you tell me about this idea, know that you'll be paying me or whoever will be doing this job unt..i..l *he interrupts
Him: Paying? I thought it was a one time or few hundreds of dollars. Why do I have to keep paying when you haven't finished the app?
Me: Did you finish your entire work this week?...but you're still getting paid next week, right?
Him: Oh crap, makes sense. Ok, how about I pay you the amount you charge then, that's it?
Me: See, you don't get it. I know once the app is done, you'll come back to me to fix and update things. When that time comes, you'll have to pay me again. And with the initial payment, don't just think you pay me and that's all... you'll...
Him: Crap, I have think more and come up with a plan for this.. nevermind, I'll keep you updated.
I think I made him sad knowing that, this sort of things doesn't happen easily.2
Lord forgive me for laughing too hard at this person/situation... I kid you NOT!
So today while everything was going well, we suddenly had network issues at work. We worked to get everything back up online asap and then sent out an email for those affected to either restart their machines or refresh their desktops but we recommend restarting... After some few client calls, this special call came in..
Riiing, riiiiiing, ring....
Me: hi, how can help you?
Client: *laughing.. This is probably a stupid question but I forgot how to "refresh" my desk top..the thing is, I have Febreeze but I don't think that's for desk tops.
Me: Wait, what? 🤔 Febreeze for what?😕
Client: You guys sent an email to refresh our desk tops and I said I have Febreeze so how will that get my things in the computer back to show again?
Me: Ohhh, no no. We meant your computer desktop. You don't need Febreeze. Right click anywhere on your computer in the screen and select refresh from the pop up menu. We meant your computer "desktop" not your actual "desk top".
Client: *starts laughing...I told you it was a stupid question
Me: don't worry.. It wasn't stupid.
After I hang up, some of my team members asked me why someone is asking about Febreeze...I told them and they all started laughing hysterically
I was still trying to digest the conversation I had just have on the phone. 😂😂😂12
I need to hide myself, my computer, programming skills and computer knowledge from people. Then only, I will be safe..
Friend: Heeey, you're good with computers right?
Me: No! 😑
Friend: Come-on bro. I know you are.
Me: What do you want?
Friend: I want you to check and book flights for me for country X.
Me: Are you ok? How does this have anything to do with someone being good with computers and stuff?
Friend: Haha, see? You're good with computers. *starts laughing. Anyway, since you're good, you can find the best prices. I know you know how to search sites and how to find things online.
Me: WTF?!?!!! All, you have to do is type in your search. If you don't like the results, you simply refine it.
Friend: See, all this tech stuff I'm not really good at it.
Me: But you're good at searching for other things online, right? Do the same for your flights.
*Picks my laptop and walks away.
How can a young man not be able to search for flights online but knows how to use several gadgets. Nonsense.9
So you think it's bad when your friends, family, strangers and others ask you to fix their phone or computer is bad when they hear you're a programmer, IT or good with computers?
You think it's bad when they ask you whether you're hacking when they see code or terminal on your screen?
You think it's bad when they ask you to fix a cracked phone screen because you work with computers?
Well, think again because today my teammate was asked to fix a vending machine by X from another department because, according to X the vending was not accepting X's other dollar bill. The first dollar bill was accepted so why wouldn't it accept the 2nd one? Because the 🤬 dollar bill is crumpled. That's it.
What wows me is what made X think this is an IT issue.
According to X.... "because it has power, lights and touch screen so IT can fix it That's what you guys do, right? You can fix anything".
Me: wait!?, what?, uhhh..., are you serious? Wtf? Why? Grrrr4
You think a junior dev pushing his code onto a production server is bad? Wait till you have that admin who is illegally mining Bitcoin on your production server. 😂
I went for a Cyber Security conference today with one of managers and this was one of the life experiences some of the speakers shared.18
"Everyone must attend this meeting. It's really important that you all attend".
Me: *walks into meeting with other co-workers
Host: So what should we discuss today?
Co-worker 1: We can discuss how we did on the recently completed project.
Host: We'll save that for next meeting.
Co-worker 2: Any strategic plans for upcoming project?
Host: That too, for next meeting.
Me: Black Panther.
Host: That was actually a great movie. I saw it over the weekend. Who else saw it? ....
Me (in my thoughts): Just wow! 😂
PS: I still haven't seen that movie.2
I think I'm losing my mind working in the IT Department. 😂 Sometimes the questions are UNBELIEVABLE!
Client: Hi, my computer is not working.
Me: Hi, what's wrong with it?
Client: IDK. It won't work.
Me: Alright, what do you see on your screen?
Me: Nothing as in there are no icons on your desktop or black screen?
Client: Oh, black screen.
Me: Is your monitor on? Do you see a light on the power-on button?
Client: Yes, it's white.
Me: Ok, good. What about your computer? Is it turned on?
Client: Well, I never turn off my computer so I assume it's on. I leave it as is when I leave the office then log-in in the morning when I come in.
**At this point I realized this person doesn't even lock the computer until it locks by itself after a while.
Me: Ok please turn on your computer by pressing the power button with a thin line on it. It should turn white.
Client: Ok but as I said I don't turn it off so why should I turn it on? Did it turn off by itself?
Me: That can happen.
Client: Ok....oh wait, it working! Thank you so much. Sorry if I was a little pain. I am a little stressed out this morning.
Me: No problem. Glad it worked. Have a good day.
*Hangs up confused. I mean really confused. Smh18
Working in the IT Department is just funny man. Sometimes I wonder if I'm dumb, too smart to answer these dumb questions or these clients are just asking questions they already have answers to that I don't.
Client: Hey, can you please give X access to Y's Dropbox? He gets error saying he doesn't have access to the file.
Me: Uhh, you have to share a link to the specific file you want to share with X. Then only he can access it.
Client: Can you send him the link?
Me: Uhhhh, what link?
Client: The link to the file.
Me: Who created the file you want to share?
Client: My boss did. And he wants me to send the link to X. But I don't have the link so he said to check with IT.
Me (in my mind): WTF!!!!
Me: Ok, ask your boss to share the link to the file he created with you then you can send it to Y. He can also send it to Y directly himself. IT doesn't have and has no idea of what file your boss created. Only your boss knows.
Client: Ok, hold on let me check with him..
Client gets back on the phone.. "he said he deleted the file".
Me: Well, there's no file to share here.
Client: Can you find it?
Me: Call Dropbox.
Client: do you have his number?
At this point I started laughing.. 😂😂😂🤣🤣
Me: Dropbox is a company.
Client: Ok, thank you. I'll call Dropbox.
At this point, I'm wondering. If this client thought Dropbox was person, then what did she mean by her initial question? 🤔
Can this be real life? This happened less than an hour ago, and going home now still confused about this whole situation. 😂😂5
Hi guys, I need your help. Mostly those who use MacBook for development. I'm looking to buy a new laptop and was thinking of getting a MacBook. This will be my first time owning one. I always used Windows but for almost over a year now, I've been on Elementary OS. I do programming on my current laptop in Eclipse, IntelliJ and mostly, Android development in Android Studio. Also, I'm learning HTML and CSS. The battery of my current HP laptop has degraded to the point this thing only last 30 - 40mins when unplugged. Because of this, I can't do much on-the-go. Buying a new windows laptop, I know I will definitely dual boot with another Linux distro or better full boot Linux and get rid of Windows. My question is, how is programming or development on a MacBook. How's does Android studio perform? Are there anything that MacBook users wished worked better on Macs which involves Development? Please help because I can't decide and since I haven't used a MacBook as my daily driver, I'm not sure how it will affect my work writing code in there.
Thanks I'm advance for your answers. 😁4
Got my first technical job with no interview. Well, let me explain.
A recruiting firm contacted about my resume that it was impressive. *I didn't have any corporate experience in there. Just school projects, personal projects and internship.
I had a quick phone interview with them and also asked me for an in person interview that same week on Wednesday. After that interview, the guy asked if I could come back for some paperwork because they have found a job for me to start the next Monday. This was exciting.
Monday at the new job, I dressed up in fitted suit and all thinking the company will also interview me. I walked in and the director was like, "welcome, you know you don't have to dress up for this job right? Feel free!" They took me to me workstation with an already clean set up.
I was confused and my stupidity asked: "what time is the interview?". The immediate supervisor I was going to be working with replied, "no need for that. We got you because of your skills. That's all we need so we both went water each other's time".
Long story short, I worked with them for almost a year but due to financial issues they couldn't extend my contract. However, the director got me a new permanent job at one of his friends office and says he will hire me back in a heartbeat if things go well at his place.
I kind of feel bad leaving the recruiter because he was one of those who actually cared and willing to help entry level.4
After two interviews at same company,.. I'll just cut to the email and my response to them..
Company X: "...blah blah blaaah, sorry but unfortunately, we decided to move forward with a candidate that we see fit for this role. Thank you for your interest and interviewing at X company."
My reply: "....don't be sorry. Fortunately, I have already accepted an offer where I see my skills fit at an even higher level at a company."
I was lying. I didn't have an offer yet. Just had to let them feel a little regret. 😂😁1
Old boy said to put my brother's old laptop to use for him because Windows is too slow. He just wants basic usage like news and checking his favorite sites. So, you know there's only one way to take care of this...install Ubuntu. He tried it, loved and now doing full install for him. Ubuntu saving old computers since..well since forever 😁7
Me at BestBuy today: Oh man, you got the got the Pixel 2 XL? This is looks good and feels good in hand. Last time I stopped by, the other guy had just the Pixel 2. Blah blah blah.. so is this running the 8.1 or 8.0?
Verizon associate at BestBuy: The 8.1
Me: oohh, you got that preview huh? *goes into system to check.. dude it's running 8.0
Verizon associate: oh really? Dang, I forgot. I'll side-load the APK.
Me: 😕😒😂 I hear you.
*At that point I lost hope in humanity*3