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Search - "expert"
Well that was a fun call I just had.
Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.
Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.
Me: What?! Why????
Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.
Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.
Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.
Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.
Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?
Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.23
"We are looking for a GDPR expert to be hired in our company"
"I am an experienced data protection manager"
"Oh, fine! May you give us your phone number?"
"Your email address?"
So I met this dumb fuck old guy in his late fifties.
He said is in an expert in programming and asks me how do I create a web page.
I said, "I use HTMl, CSS and maybe JS".
Dumbfuck: No how do you create it?
Me: I use notepad, maybe?
Dumbfuck: I use MS Word
Me: So you use it as a editor?
Dumbfuck: No, even to design and position everything in HTML only.
Me: How is that even possible without CSS.
Dumbfuck: Create whatever design you want including buttons and their placement and text alignment. Save the file as .HTML
People around start applauding.
Me: dafaq! 😲😒37
That moment when an SEO 'expert' asks if changing ip addresses will put his sites lower in Google.
I'm a fucking Linux engineer, how am I supposed to know that?!
Please live up to your fucking title "SEO *expert*" and don't ask some innocent Linux engineer about this shit 😡20
Friend sees me learning React js.
Friend: "Why are you always studying? Your exams are over and you already have a job."
Me: "Because I don't know it and it looks interesting?"
Friend: "What a waste of time..."
I try to upskill myself and friend gives me shit.
He's the type of guy that would watch a 5min YouTube video on a topic and suddenly become an expert in it.
I believe that a day without new knowledge is a waste of a day.
Dont know if that's normal or I'm just weird. But I still stand by it.26
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, lounge, pub, tavern, night club, mini bar, drinks.5
Sales Guy: Hey Man, you know what? you should go back to college and advance your knowledge in Software Engineering. This way you will be an expert in programming and handling the Servers.
Me: I started programming at the age of 17 and started handling servers by the age of 18. Can I ask you something if you don't mind?
Sale Guy: Yea sure I don't mind anything
Me: Get the fuck out of here8
The moment you realize you're just good at googling and not an expert in programming...
That's when the internet connectivity is down!6
I ranted about this guy before who thought he was a security expert while hardly knowing what the word is probably. Today I met him again at a party.
Holy fucking shit, this guy.
"we use the best servers of the netherlands"
"we use a separate server for each website and finetune them"
"we always put clusters under servers, that way we have a fallback mechanism"
"companies mostly use bv ssl certificates"
"you're on call for a week? I'm full-time on call. Why I'm drinking alcohol then? Because fuck the clients hahaha"
Work: try this
I hate it.
I hate it.
I love it.
I hate it.
I love it.
Now I'm an expert.5
"I became an expert in 3 programming languages in 6 months with this new online course! Click here to order now!!"3
When I was looking for an internship...
- Hello, I noticed your cv and you have a great portfolio! Are you familiar with responsive design?
- I have a basic knowledge on that, i am not an expert.
- Ok, can you come for an interview on Monday?
Interview with CEO...
- What's your experience with responsive design?
- I have a basic knowledge on that, i am not an expert.
- Sorry I need someone expert
- But the job is for junior dev and it's an internship
- Yes but man hours of someone to training you will be a cost for me.
- Ok, thank you
(Step before closing the door)Btw you should had check my portfolio, 4/8 websites are responsive.4
Guns should be illegal. Otherwise I swear I'll end up shooting someone the next time they ask me to "implement this feature, it will only take 5 mins".
Those who don't know programming should keep their "expert advice" to themselves6
Sorry John Doe, you're application for this job has been rejected. As we specified for this job you need to know about GitHub. In your CV you stated that you are an expert in git but our job requires the knowledge of hub as well. Good luck next time10
On being a woman in tech...
You lads probably have (and my fellow ladies certainly have) heard of "impostor syndrome" and, if you don't experience it, you possibly wonder what living with it is like.
Here's an example from this weekend.
Be me, about 5 years into my career, graduated from a top college, feeling decent but still unsure of skill.
Company gets a 4 week trial of an online learning website. It includes optional assessments, so that you know where in the video lessons to start. Rankings are novice, proficient, expert.
Hear from our QA that he got ranked "proficient." Which is a pretty broad category, but I become super afraid that I'll also be assessed as "proficient" and it will look like I have the same dev skills as a fucking QA (our management overlords can see our scores).
Boyfriend has me do some deep breathing before starting the test, because it's obvious how stressed I am.
Finally take it and get ranked "expert", in the 97th percentile, even though some technical difficulties made me miss four questions in a row. I decide to use my do over, and get ranked "expert" again, this time in the 99th percentile.
You'd think I'd be like, "Lawl, I can't believe I'd get the same score as our QA!" And there is some of that. But there's also the thoughts of, "that test could have been more thorough," "that score wasn't real because I resaw a question and got the right answer the second time," and "99th percentile isn't that great on a platform where new developers are over represented."
And this is all despite the fact that, if you were to ask someone how confident I am, the answer would probably "confident as hell."
Not saying this to start any fights. Figured it could be some interesting insight into a world that some people don't experience! (not that males aren't allowed to have impostor syndrome!)16
"Please make the splash screen longer, 3-5 seconds at least"
So you are the "mobile UX expert"? Do you realize people want to achieve things without wasting time and patience? In 5 seconds I may get distracted with a notification or anything else IRL and I I'll even forget I ever opened your app. Puf, you lost a potentially paying user.
All this just to give some fu***** visibility to some small logos of your sponsors. What about an about page so everybody is happy?4
In few hours I was with client showing his website after long time coding and designing.
Client: I think this is it, here your final $$
Me: Me thanks sir and bye
A guy came in.
Client: Oh! Wait, this guy is our it expert let see if he have any advise.
Me: Oops! Okay
Guy: So this website will showcase our products
Guy: What about security because I just got news that Russian hacked one big company.
Me: I don’t think Russian have time to hack your one page website
Out of the door...3
Putting a (programming language) sticker on your laptop automatically makes you an expert in the language, guaranteed. 💯4
We've got a team of around 20 developers and the most junior of them all is a interesting specimen.
The kind of person who thinks they a 'expert' in anything and everything and is constantly trying to school our senior developers who have 20+ years experience behind them.
The sort of person that spends 15 seconds googling something he has never heard of before, but now that he has skimmed 1 page on Google would classify himself as a 'expert' in said topic.
He comes into my office yesterday and proclaims that it has been decided by himself that he no longer wants to be a developer anymore and wants to do Ops/Infrastructure, then starts rambling on about how he is a Kubernetes expert.
I asked what experience he had with Kubernetes and his response was "I watched a webinar they did last night" to which I asked if he had ever actually used anything to do with Kubernetes in his life.
"No, but I'll watch a few YouTube videos and will then be more than qualified" he says
Followed by him telling me that we'll be moving all of our current Docker Swarm clusters into Kubernetes.
This was news to me (I'm head of infrastructure and operations)
I needed a good giggle, so I asked why we would get rid of our exisiting Docker infrastructure that's got a 100% uptime over the past 2 years and has worked without failure. It's truely been a dream.
He says "Because it's shiny and cool and better"
The nest afternoon he comes to me and says "When I move everything into Kubernetes I am going to convert everything into micro services"
He says that he watched a YouTube video the night before on microservices and has decided that it's what we need to use for a particular project.
(It's a simple php website that gets 100 hits per day)
Hopefully his boss will notice that he is producing no output soon. Don't want to tell the manager that the guy he hired delivers no work and lives in a fantasy land.
"your not touching the infrastructure. Ever"16
A developer's worst nightmare is having amnesia.
Imagine being an expert in 6 programming languages and you suddenly lost your memory.
YOU'RE IN DESTINATION FUCKED ALREADY.5
When you think you're an "expert". 😛
Found this on a Medium article.
“Self-taught Software Developers: Why Open Source is important to us”
In programming what is the difference between an expert programmer and a noob??
- they both Google when they're stuck but expert knows what he's searching for and noob learns about what he's searching for!!9
So according to my manager, who isn't even a graduate, one can become a JAVA expert in one week by spending one hour everyday to learn the language.26
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, inn, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drink, drinks, beer, alcohol...
I’m a graphs designer, hardware expert, free software generator, marketing evangelist, networking wizard, and troubleshooter bot11
Don't apply for a job that you don't like. You're gonna hate your life.
Don't ask for a salary you know you're not worth.
Work in a tech company as much as possible. If you don't, you're gonna be treated as a powerpoint presentation expert, office installation expert, video editor/movie maker expert, IT support guy, loose plug/broken headset repairman, facebook hacker, and a dark magician all at once. Most (not all) tech companies know who you are better. They understand your needs better.7
I dont trust people who have LinkedIn tagline with any of these combinations.
Beginner: I wrote 1,000 lines of code!
Intermediate: I deleted 1,000 lines of code!
Expert: I prevented code from being written!1
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol.1
Just spoke with a guy who considers himself a PC expert.
He: You can always recover your offline data from your PC, even if you burn it.
Me: You just need to remove your hard drive.
He: Even if you remove your hard disk, offline data can be recovered from from RAM memory.
Me: WTF?? * Trying to explain him that RAM is a volatile memory*
He: Yeah but you can recover it from the BIOS.
Me: r u serius right now??
And I can continue, because we've unfortunately talked for about an hour.
Why these people consider themselves experts and why the fuck do they have to teach you things that the don't know. FML5
Our professor in our college deliberately makes a mistake in the program and ask people how it happened.
If someone solves it he complements them and it really makes them feel motivated.
I think he is the best professor 😊😊5
Someone just rang the IT Helpdesk moaning that outlook wasn't syncing his mail and it was because the brand new laptop he's just gotten is crap.
So first, the guy on the helpdesk asked to log into the users laptop to look at outlook.
He apparently isn't at his laptop and doesn't have time for anyone to log in!
So he rings back 10 mins later when at his laptop but wont let the helpdesk log in as he has 'confidential' documents open.
Wtf, close them, why are you ringing us to look at your laptop if you won't let us log on?? lol
So helpdesk was like ok, just check cat cable is plugged in, check wifi is off, do a send/receive etc. and the user's like yes, they're all okay!
Helpdesk tells him to reboot his pc. He does so.
Doesn't resolve it.
Skip forward another 10 painful minutes while the helpdesk guy is pulling his hair out checking everything in the background, and all looks fine.
User then says "should i also turn off my iPhone?"
Helpdesk: 'No, outlook is just on your laptop'.
User: 'No *assured laugh* its on my phone too. I get emails there too'
Helpdesk: 'No, you use the generic 'Mail' app on your phone. Outlook is a separate app. We don't use it.'
User: 'But you're not listening, regardless of the app name, that's my problem, mail's not working on my phone'.
Helpdesk: '.....so why didn't you say so 20 minutes ago when i asked to log into ur laptop?'
User: 'Didn't think it was relevant. Laptop was fine. Assumed you'd know'.
Shockingly, a phone restart fixed it. The user couldn't remember the last time he'd turned the thing off.11
A: There is not even a single forum for cyber security. Let's build one.
Me: Are you sure that there is not even a single forum?
A: Yes, I'm a cyber security expert. I have 5 years of experience in this field.
Me: **walks out quitely**1
Please, if you're recruiting a freshly graduated or junior developper, DO NOT ask him to be a fucking expert in whatever field or tech you're looking for.2
1. When you are inexperienced, probably you’ll need to accept any job.
2. Learn and discover what you prefer to working on.
3. Become an expert on you desired field.
4. You can choose where you would like to work.
Remember friends: Life is to short to work for an asshole.5
Scammer calls claiming to be windows security expert.
Them: "sir, your windows computer is sending error code. Please turn it on so I cam Fix it. "
Me: "windows? I have a mac."
Them: "um.... " *hangs up*
How to make Xcode crash:
1. type: self.btn
I need to add this on my CV as an expert in making xcode crash, not implying that Xcode is a shit IDE !!6
Those who do not remember history are doomed to have serious backward compatibility problems. -- Expert C Programming1
I had a professor in college who was "the expert in java programming language". He had a unique way of teaching.
P: So you save your java file and run this command.
*Some error occurs*
Me: But this is showing some error
P: Exactly. I wanted to show this exact same error so that you learn that this is not how its done. I will let you figure it out how its done and it will be your assignment for the day. Class dismissed.4
On my first dev job ever, I got sent to the client's office after studying CSS on my own for 2 weeks.
Client: "So, you're the great expert your manager told me about?"1
Let an expert consultant write your code, they say. It will be all right, they say.
Found this today in a legacy codebase.3
*describes problem that a system doesn't work behind an nginx proxy, routing to another nginx instance*
*some random "expert" jumps in*
hurrdurr: It works behind nginx proxy, with APACHE, I don't even get why you would want to run nginx behind nginx omg9
Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...1
Rubber duck didn't understand code. So decided to use the expert for Android.
Meet Little Buggy.
P. S. I have 2 more, makes a complete family! 😀4
Me: * Has roughly 1.5 years of PHP experience *
LinkedIn recruiter: Hello Java expert with lots of Oracle enterprise experience, wanna call?7
Don't lie in your resume or in the interview.
People know you're not an expert at everything, nobody expects that from anybody (and you should really avoid working for anybody who does)2
It has happened again. The EU has passed article 11 and 13 which has now doomed the internet for all EU Citizens.
After GDPR passed, tons of people became more aware that the EU parliament has that much control over everyday life things. Thus there was much more scrutiny over what else they may pass.
Despite expert testimony on why the articles are bad, they rejected all amendments and passed it as is.
It is no longer worth it to serve EU customers. I’m sorry guys, but I’m out.
When a rookie is trying so hard to behave like she is a god damn expert in programmng! 😏🙊🙈2
The senior developer who's never had a smartphone in his life gave me a lecture on why my UI improvements to the mobile application were terrible and to revert them. He didn't want to hear squat from me, and was literally saying "You're not gonna win this" while I was trying to argue why these features were necessary.
1 month later, we get a Interaction Design expert to review the app. His recommendations were hardly surprising.
Except, now I have a tighter deadline and will work this weekend. Sigh.4
We gave one of our more 'difficult' clients a quote of 30days to rewrite alot of there application. Two hours later we are in a conference call and they have a 'great idea' they will come in for a whole day and share knowledge to speed it up.
For some reason the project manager has decided that it's a good idea for me to be alone in a meeting room all day with 2 people coming in and an 'expert' Skyped in to watch me programming and 'help out'. With all of there knowledge they think it will only take a day...
It's going to be a long Tuesday...6
Imagine if programming languages were also written in different regional languages like Java in german,hindi,spanish.
Recruiters will reject you by saying u don't know java in Spanish.We need a java expert in Spanish.😁😁13
Browsing job postings, and some of these requirements are just crazy, and/or wtf. Here's an example:
Front End developer wanted, junior to mid-level. An ideal candidate will be an expert in PHP, C#, and Java. Minimum experience of 10 years. Estimated compensation 30,000 per year.
Entry level full stack developer. Must be an expert in SQL. 5 years experience, BS in computer science required.
Web Developer intern - must have 3 years of experience. Must be an expert in x, y, z. This position is unpaid.
I'm taking an entrepreneurship course and there is this one guy who talks empty words just to impress others.
He uses linux and at every single course he opens the terminal just to run the commands "sudo apt update" and "sudo apt remove", the rest of the time he is on discord.
He always switches to the terminal so you can see what an 'expert' he is17
When do you consider yourself an expert at a language?
More details: there is a really cool Data Science internship opening up near me that I want so badly it physically hurts me, but it asks for expert level knowledge of python, Java, or R.
I’ve only been studying R and Java for like 3 months, and Python for about 8 months, so I’m obviously no expert. When exactly does someone reach that threshold, though? When did you realize you were an expert at a language?14
Me: Decentralized, Transparent, Immutable, Trustless ...
Host: Please give a big round of applause for Blockchain industry expert!2
Simple and accurate!
UI/UX makes a huge difference to average users. Just because you're the developer/expert user, do not think what's obvious to you is obvious to everyone. Think about being in a bubble. This is why you need collaboration with people in a different scope. Or atleast gather feedback from users.4
So I never had a proper education in IT. Started web development as a hobby, then some people started giving me money for it, and here I am, working as a fulltime web dev since 2001 and SEO expert since 2010.
Still, I sometimes wonder how much I really know compared to some fresh coder who just got out of university.
I know how to create great software from A to Z, but still I sometimes get the feeling that I am missing the fundamental basics.
Is that weird?4
at a previous job at a shit company ran by bible-thumpers, i was rebuilding the company website for my a-hole boss. I asked him where I should get images from- if there was a stock photo site he preferred or what.
"Just pull them off Google. That's what I do."
Later when I was combing through the site, I saw he'd added images that CLEARLY STATE another COMPANY'S NAME in the image themselves. Nothing like promoting another company on your OWN company website, huh?
(And no, their company name is not ActiveMobi.)
They're still there, 3+ years later. Dumb ass.2
They made more of those "The Expert" client parody skits (the seven red lines ones)! https://youtube.com/playlist/...3
I couldn't figure out why my server went down all of a sudden.This seems suited for this week's rant.
Expert fullstack solutions architect here.3
WTF!!!!! I officially have someone trying to extort me just had this in my email box this morning!
My name is [name removed], I'm an IT security expert and I found a security issue on your website.
This email is personal and in no way related to any of my employers.
I was able to access to a lot of files which contains sensitive data.
I attached a screenshot of the files I found to this email.
I would be happy to give you the method I used to access these files in order to let you fix it.
Would be a monetary compensation possible?
Please forward this email to the right person, if your are not responsible for the security of the website.
He can basically see the contents of my wp-config.php. How has he managed this?78
Our website stopped working. A coworker said her guess from an error she saw in the logs was that it might have something to do with a bit of a commented line in .htaccess taking itself out of comment and into code due to a specific set of characters the line contained. I looked at .htaccess and thought “Nah, that can’t be it.” and proceeded to troubleshoot pretty much everything but that. After 30 minutes my coworker opened the file and fixed the comment and all was well. I felt stupid because on our team I’m supposed to be the expert that figures out stuff like this.
My former team had an "ux expert" who made ux templates for new features.
For years since he started his job, the team was told that there will be a first face-2-face meeting.
It never came to this point.
Instead all the team know about this guy is that his name is Thomas and that he does all the talk and decisions with our client without a word with the team, bringing their imaginations to li(f|v)e...
No wonder the team got mad after some water had ran down the river.
At first they only questioned really poor design decisions.
But after a while the productivity of the team dropped, because they weren't willing to accept any of those design decisions.
Boi o boi.
Things escalated pretty well ;)3
Saw this job post a while back:
Junior front-end developer
Expert level in: html, css, js, python, c++....
So i tried to tell them, a guy like this dont exsist6
Me: so, what are you doing as a developer?
Him: I am full-stack developer, basically ROR...
Me:...! Sorry, do you mean R&D, research and development? Or you mean Aroura DB?
Hi: no man, I am expert in ROR! You can not call your self developer in our days without knowing the on demand technologies!
Me:... Sorry dude, can you please tell me what is ROR, I don't want to lose my title as a developer!!!?
Him: OK, we call Ruby On Rails as ROR.
i met an old friend in a mall and he start talk about linux
friend: hey i just installed arch linux in my laptop!
me: wow cool! you are so expert.
friend: btw i have a problem with it, how to change directory in their black screen?
friend: no! i didn't use cd. i use flashdisk to install it.
me: ah.. okay.3
This rant has been boiling for a long time now so please bear with me. Here it goes.
A slight introduction of the lady working in my office. She's a soft spoken person who works for like 2 hours a day at max (rest of her time goes on surfing facebook etc).
NOW WHAT FUCKING GRINDS MY GEARS IS THAT SHE FUCKING THINKS SHE KNOWS HOW TO "CODE" ONLY BY KNOWING HTML!! FML
She claims of being a Social Media Expert, Digital Guru. But, SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING USE GOOGLE TAG MANAGER!!
MY WHOLE FUCKING DAY GETS RUINED BY EVEN INTERACTING WITH HER!!!!!!3
I'm not an expert but if you site takes 5 seconds to navigate a step BACKWARDS, consider it inefficient af.1
Saw a job posting today for an EXPERT React Native Developer.
At least they didn't ask for years of experience Lol4
Right let's get this straight once and for all. Being able to one click install WordPress on your shared hosting account doesn't make you a web developer or ann am expert so please remove this from your social bios on Twitter etc.2
This is how Pokémon Go shows errors to its users. It says a generic „Error“ in German with different numbers for different errors.
I am not an UX expert, but isn’t this a really bad practice? The error number has no meaning to the user, so why displaying it? I think it is just confusing and looks ugly 😐8
When you are finish doing the UI of the app then your UI/UX expert suddenly want to change everything, because he/she saw much cooler ui in the pinterest. The Horror!2
Found the dragon book, second edition, a pretty famous compiler book at the following url:
Just in case anyone is interested in it. It kinda trips me out that for 1000+ pages its only 4.somethingmb and apparently it comes from the University of Bremen, it was on the top Google results.
I think its clean, not a security expert, so if someone that is more skilled in it that I am wants to go ahead and check it out let me know11
So i have been working with a so called python expert my manager on a project.
He has 3 years of more experience in python than me.
The best thing is he shows up everyday with random post from stackoverflow to fix our bugs everyday.
And if the code is in python2 he says that only difference is just put () around print and it will work
He earns thrice as much i do3
Ever had people asking you to fix their smart phones because " you know computers" and then you go with " you have a broken scream and no sound , I'm a Software engineer , explain to me how can I fix it "
Then they respond " I don't know , you are the expert , aren't you ?2
“Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter.” − Eric S. Raymond3
I'm the git expert at my work. This means every time someone has the slightest issue with git (or the git features in their ide), I get interrupted.
Also I will say it is fascinating watching people who've used centralised version control all their lives struggle with distributed.
"Do you have my changes? I merged them into your branch..."
"You can commit and not push?!"9
When the so called "css expert" ask you why you're implementing so many things in @media all and (max-width: 800px) because it "doesn't change anything"
I had to teach him about responsive web design and chrome developer tools mobile emulation...3
A T.A. in my university.
He's kind of a java expert and the class was about advanced oop principles.
But the way he coded live in class and spoke clearly how he approaches the problems was the best thing that I got from the class.
Needless to say, nearly everyone that enrolls in that class, starts to love java afterwards xD1
It was my first month as a driver developer fresh out of grad school, at a semiconductor company. There was an elusive memory alignment bug that had eluded the experts on the team. Of course, they had to assign it to me.
I was looking at the code where alignment was being calculated for nested structures case. I saw something funny: "size_t(object)". I asked the expert where it should have been "sizeof(object)". And, sure enough it was!!
I was super-thrilled to have fixed a bug in my first month, which had troubled the team for a long time! ^_^6
It's a job description for an entry level Software Developer role at Apple.
Basically they want
- A Front end dev
- A back end dev
- An iOS expert
- A Gimp/photoshop designer
- A streaming data expert
- An Oracle/Teradata expert
- A Kafka expert ( Not shown in the picture)
And on top of that the guy should be able to learn new tech faster.
Do they want a developer or a fucking terminator?6
Teacher asks the class:
"How do you become a good developer?"
All the students starts talking about algorithms, problem solving or working in a team.
He nods and starts writing on the board. w w w. g o o g l e . c o m
He then leaves the classroom.
So here I am years later, a master googler and a expert stack overflower.4
Fuck Udemy adverty. "You should learn this online machine learning course, it's taught by an 'expert' instructor, you'll learn algorithms in pythaan and 'arr, make robust models, add value to your business." Fuck off with your buzzword mumbo jumbo and just be straight with people, don't treat them like idiots.11
"Because every person knows what he likes, every person thinks he is an expert on user interfaces." - Paul Heckel
@Baguette is apparently a professional sleeper, please teach me, I need an expert in this domain, I can't stand going to work with barely 4~ hours of sleep / night5
Fucking facebook researcher that make underfitted neural nets and fuck Mark that it's a marketing genius, the only idiot that can make news from a failure. The CEO of Tesla knows it and said Mark is not an AI expert. Bug not feature, it's only a poorly trained and poorly designed neural network having a bad representation of concepts, not a new language and not the fucking apocalypse. Google faced and solved the same issue when start ed using neural nets for zero-shot translations without using english as a translation bridge.
Who else can relate to being in this guy's shoes? This is so funny because it was so true at my last job.
Ad hiring in Iran:
we need a Backend developer who is expert in React, js, scss, and you should have at least 5 years experience in DevOps.
and priority with girls.4
PM: You've heard of <thing> before right?
Me: I know the name of it
PM: Perfect, your the subject matter expert now.
FUCK MY LIFE!
MY DEPARTMENT IS IN SEARCH OF 3 PYTHON DEVS (1 expert, 2 "normal") FOR DEVELOPING AUTOMATIC THINGS!!! I would seriously apply because it's like my first dev job without having attended University.
But only for two years... After that I have to reapply for my old job.. but it's two (expert 3) salary groups up from mine...
What to do?
Also fuck python but I would learn it for God's sake21
Applicant: I have 7 years of experience in software development industry and here is my repo/portfolio for you to look at.
Manager: I don't need it. Take the 5 hours coding exam.
*Applicant scores low
Manager: You didn't score high. Thank for applying at Stack****. Goodbye
Applicant: Wait, sorry but do you judge all applicants only through an exam?
Manager: Yes. Exam tells how expert the applicant is.10
Oh for fucks sake, I only agreed to fix one fucking problem in your shit hole of a wordpress hell, not everything your sorry excuse of a "wordpress expert" fucked up.
We need time travel asap!2
Wtf is this? I searched for my problem and have to pay money to see the answer an 'expert' gave to another user who needed help? And I don't even know if it would solve my problem. That's definitely a great marketing strategy.
Well... Well... What a multi-talented personality...
Every connection I see on LinkedIn has these buzz words in their tag line: AI/ML, Cryptocurrency, Blockchain.
This guy even has Smart City...!!!
Don't know how many of them are legit... I just don't understand each of these techs are so vast... Still people manage to get expert in all of them in just few days... What's the secret...?8
I'm c# developer and suddenly my manager has told client that I'm a powerbi expert and apparently have been working on it for like 4-5 years. No idea what to say...7
"We know you were an intern yesterday, but the last senior (who was actually a junior) resigned so now you have the project and a team of 5 other interns because they all look up to you. Here's 15$/h (actually not a bad salary in my country) for your efforts."
I've become an expert at firefighting with technologies that I haven't heard of an hour ago.5
tl;dr version: I now hate Windows.
I installed Ubuntu in dual boot on my PC and I was sceptical.
After one month everything is working perfectly. I'm loving this OS although I still am not an expert, and I doubt I'll ever go back to Windows.
Now. Today at school we were drawing using a CAD software and, for no reason at all, Windows crashed. This is not a terrible thing, as I usually save often, but this time it also corrupted the file and I had to start from scratch again!
Why Windows, why?4
Thanks google for giving me the opportunity to work with neural networks without being an expert about them.
To sum it up:
1. Preprocess data
2. Use Automl to train classifier
Legit my only answer to fixing shit code for a nursing app at work is.....
Writing more shit code. Man the dude that developed this before had 0 clue what he was doing.....and because shit grew out of control there is shitcode everywhere.
I like writing shit code though. It is good practice.
Writing shit code without knowing is one thing. You really do reach expert level when you write shit code WHILE being fully aware of it.1
Ever had that meeting where it's expected that you will solve cold fusion, catch rainbows and violate the laws of thermodynamics? Just because you are an expert in your field?
Also beautifully demonstrated here:
"What? You aren't sure where the Android Wifi credentials QR Code scanner is specifically located? But.. Aren't you the expert?" Trying not to freaking boil my blood right now.5
Not exactly a dev enemy, but similar.
A new radiation protection regulation has been in force in Germany since 2019. October I finished a super duper important document for this and this has been with the TÜV ever since. First there is nothing happening and then there are allegedly inconsistencies in it, which, however, all of which were due to shoddy work with the "expert."
There is a german word for this type of person: Krümelkacker.
He faults every little thing in side-by-page letters, causes long delays, and in the end is often wrong.
But I have to work with him -.-6
Being a junior and part of a small team at a startup, working with a new software architecture, even the team lead is a beginner in it. It feels like I'm at an echo chamber, there's nobody expert enough to look up to if stuck, decisions seem to be based on opinions rather than an architectural design kinda point of view.
Ugh, I hope I'm not the only here ever feeling this way.7
Biggest pet peeve is when someone develops a shitty project using XYZ technology/language and a tutorial and they somehow think they know XYZ and all of it's intricacies and are an expert dev in XYZ. 😐😐😐. No you fucking know how to follow a tutorial and you have a small understanding of XYZ. End rant.
Have to do some JS for a web application.
Problem is I'm not a JS expert at all, and there is already existing code.
Gonna be long.
Gimme your energy so I can do it \o/11
I just fucking hate android studio it takes 15-30 minute just to load on my machine . can't they just make the whole ide available through browser 😞19
Is it me or freelancing jobs at Freelancer are incredibly vague.
Jobs titled "build me a website" with descriptions like "I need an expert dev to work on a python website".
How the hell can you put a price and time to it?!
Am I missing something here? I'm totally new at this and it's kinda baffling.4
Right now I'm standing in this Apple Reseller store waiting in the line and there's an old man who doesn't understand a fuck of his iPhone, and it turns out it's about setting up his fucksucking mail! I'm waiting for half an hour already, am so fucking done with this.
There's also this useless shit of an "Apple Expert" employee who doesn't do a thing. He constantly walks through the store very nervous and I'm getting fucking sick of this guy...2
That moment when: you lift your gaze from your phone to understand the sudden quiet is because your expert opinion is needed in the meeting.
I'm no Nodejs expert but can someone explain how in the fucking world is node_modules folder is that HUGE! on my slow ass internet it takes couple of mins to pull the repo and five mins to finish npm install! and takes so much ram to build a freaking docker container for my react website when it takes barely 300MB to build both MySQL and Asp.Net Core dockers T_T8
Content strategy expert: How long would it take to program an SVG animation intro video
Me: I'm not sure I've never programmed one before.(still teaching myself)
Content expert: iS it even possible?
Me: yeah all things are possible in programming ;)
Content expert: so then how long would it take
Content expert: but wouldn't it be easier if...
Me: no, go away2
Okay so i graduated last year and got a job working for a place that sadly disappoints me in their web development practices. This place uses a dead technology(my opinion)called Cold Fusion by Adobe. They do not use any form of version control like Git and their sites are very shitty and the design and development is implemented very poorly honestly. It honestly makes me sad that i feel like im smarter than my department vp. That being said i do not feel challenged here and am looking to collaborate in some open source projects via Github preferably.I dont consider myself an expert in this field but i would say im about intermediate level in web development. Im pretty comfortable with HTML,CSS/SASS,PHP,JS/JQuery, and im pretty comfortable in the PHP framework Laravel. So if anyone is interested in collaborating or starting something up, id be so down for it. :)7
I have developed 3 apps so far in laravel and I can say I'm in a mid level between beginner and expert.
But every time I set up a new laravel environment I feel like this is the first time I see laravel.5
So, this is apparently how you concatenate a list of Strings or should I say cities 😉 (with a delimiter between each element but excluding the last one)
I wish my esteemed colleague at least had decency to hide the fact he copied it from SO 😭
Question: what's wrong with this code❓9
Well, they are just fucking kidding
Unix guru on entry level... That moment, when you realise that client is too lazy to pick option intermediate or expert, but expects somebody to do evetything5
That moment when you're hired as expert of technology A, and the first thing that is asked of you, is to do a PoC of tech A integrated with tech B... and then they assume that you are expert at tech B... and to be as fast as working on thech A2
"Let the design team be the design experts. Your job is to be the business expert. Ask them how their design solutions meet your business goals. If you trust your design team, and they can explain how their recommendations map to those goals, you’re fine. If you neither trust them, nor can they defend their choices it’s time to get a new design team." - Mike Monteiro
Explaining difficult things in a way that they are understandable by non-expert audiences.
This helps a lot to focus on simplicity when programming. And simple means it'll get understood by your peer programmers, it is simpler to test and it will be easier to maintain, and so on...
What's the actual requirements to be called full stack developer? I do front-end, back-end, database, server, my own api's etc. I even have a t-shirt with "Keep calm and hug a printer". I've been doing this for 15 years and would not call me an expert in any part and certainly not privilegied for the full stack title. So what is?
If this was a humblebrag then please shoot me..8
You constantly see these professional profiles with labels such as 'Expert'/10 years experience/senior/CTO/CIO/Consultant.
I think it's very unfair because they attract employers and they even get hired, while some of us with veteran knowledge in several fields don't get considered for a job.
May I add that it's always the funny guys who get a job. Apparently being a relatable frat bro at an interview is more important than having priceless expert knowledge.
It's a sad fact of life that managing dynamic memory is a very difficult programming task. Some public domain X-Window applications are notorious for leaking like the Apple Computer board of directors -- Expert C Programming4
Sometimes I like to see how the other side live and just watch people in a computer store.
There are the nervous tip-toers who don't want to attract attention. The point and lookers, who read the sign and nod and show they understood.
There are the ones who just wander aimlessly trying to look like they know what they want.
Finally there are the 'expert helpers' who know enough 'techie' words to convince anyone around that they know what they're talking about.
It's like a people zoo.1
You want me to be an expert in advanced data structures, algorithms, dbms, Oracle, python, machine learning, J2EE just to develop apps for you? If I had been a master of all trades, I would not have come to you in the first place.2
My company started to do very unethical things (or maybe even break the law – I'm no expert) in order to cover up some business people fuckups. I'm seriously considering quitting immediately even though I hoped to stay here for some time as I like the people I work with. It's those unimaginative bastards at the top that make it unbearable.3
Dev, boss and guy who know logic is looking at the server.
Problem: it's not responding
Boss: we need this running now! Otherwise the sales won't go through
Dev: give me a chance, I just got here
Guy: have you tried turning it off and on again?
They did so and at works.
Boss: guess we don't need to hire another dev, this guy knows what he is talking about, he is some kind of server expert..
[Talk by a security expert. The main point was, complexity kills security.]
7 minutes later a friend via IM: Hey, let's use OpenStack! Just 33 micro services to install!
You know when you are suddenly push to a new position that you are not familiar with?
Well I just became a server database/cloud expert. Fuck me.
Been Googling for a while now. If anyone has any advice, I'll appreciate it.
Anything free and open source, even better.6
"Your best work is your expression of yourself. Now, you may not be the greatest at it, but when you do it, you’re the only expert." - Frank Gehry1
I just got called an expert for using Linux 😂 I'm taking this computer research in Psychology module (Matlab), and I was the only one using Linux.
It's 3 years old but for any of you who hasn't seen "The Expert"..
Still the closest thing resembling my corporate life 🤣3
I am not a math expert but I am almost 100% sure that 617 comes first (this is a bug that happens a lot when searching for top and all)5
A famous quote attributed to Jamie Zawinski:
"Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use regular expressions." Now they have two problems."
I am living this nightmare. Joined a project where schmucks are parsing SQL using regular expressions. Talked to a friend, a compiler developer expert. He told me that regexes can't be used for checking if braces are matched. Pumping Lemma. Those fuckers should have used ANTLR or something. Anyways planning to leave this project.2
I work in a company, where prototypes become instantly a product... People are far from being an expert in the technologies we use (technologies which were chosen by management without any further research).
Timeframes are more than short, so there is no chance to learn what you need to know to be able to create something really maintainable and stable.
Guess what - that shit is going to be installed at the customer site, where neither we nor them know what to fucking do if something breaks ...
Maybe you guys could help me...
My father just sent me a .xlsxm file (excel + macro file), it's all about horse races and stuff a 60+ years old dude would do :D
The file is pretty neat, but some minors changes needs to be done, but I have no clue where the code is. I found the "macro" part but it's empty, and I'm not surprised since the file itself seems to be generated from C# (Maybe not, I'm not the expert)
Sooo... Can anyone tell me how do I get to this code?8
Asking for an expert, what do you think about laracast videos, on php and laravel? (Free course only)6
This morning I got a reply to my tech support email:
The problem was that the dynamic pages on my website are no longer being served as dynamic pages and so IIS is throwing errors on every page load. Seems to me like they've done something their end because I didn't touch it when it happened...
The tech support email essentially told me to rename all my files from .cshtml (ie. a dynamic page) to .html.
I'm not expert, but I doubt this is going to solve the problem...4
Well, atom won't open. SO, what's the next free editor I will learn to use, configure exactly right, and then need to abandon because it won't fucking open for no apparent reason?
Sure, I could become a certified Atom expert and learn exactly what is going on, but I HAVE FUCKING WORK THAT IS DUE WHAT THE FUCKING HELL
Wishing I could afford PyCharm, maybe I will just try the trial since EVERY editor I have ever used eventually becomes unusable at some point.22
Sitting 3h in a bullshit claiming and blaming meeting called 'refinement' as 'the tech expert' while PO and customers fight how stories and bugs should be priorized and importantly enough they discussed why the god damn bugfix isn't alive yet that was promised to be deployed this morning.. I was up to deploy it right the time they said I really have to go to that meeting... Yeah.. Business as usual
Any Symfony expert here? I've got quite a tricky question, that I'd love to disqus with another dev.
It's about twig within symfony. I'd like to add a custom node parser, but not for an own tag, but to set some value on each template if it's not set (which can't be done with globals in this case!). I've thought about using a visitor, but from my understanding it gets executed to late, as it requires (probably) to modify the twig AST at compile/parse time.7
My country has the best security experts. They convince people that they are not thiefs, Then when people believe them and give them their data, They change the password.1
The more I show up to the office to tackle impossible client demands, the more I realize that I am living in the world of The Expert.
I shared this video a while back with some coworkers including my PM and another department that was making ridiculous requests. Didn't change a thing.
They went as far as to ask me if they ever did anything like that. I, in all seriousness said yes. They laughed.3
I'm sure all of us have felt like this at some point. I love this video
As someone who often interviews devs, I can say you should be honest about your abilities. Just because you tweaked someone's Python code doesn't mean you are a Python expert. Stick to the facts on your resume/cv. Also, have a good code portfolio. That shows the interviewer much more than a degree does.4
Wanna be rich? Become an independent privacy officer! Rent yourself only to companies that have their shit together and charge thousands just for being a security expert!
Every larger company needs one, but almost none have an employee lawfully qualified to be one... 🤑2
So I'm no labor law expert or anything, but this just seems off. Anyone know the legality of this?8
Came across this in a part of a web service I inherited from a junior we fired last year.
I am no C# expert, but I do believe there are better ways to read a byte array from a JSON string, am I right?18
Is part of being intermediate/fluent in a tool, language or framework that you've just unwillingly memorized all the error messages you've come across?
'Hey I got error X' -> Just change Z and C and it will work
'Do you know what this stacktrace is trying to tell me?' -> Yeah you forgot a space
'What does this mean?' -> Just add the host to the hostfile
Not that it immediately makes you an expert ofcourse3
Thank god for Git. I fucked up my webpage beyond repair and I am not an expert in html div alignments. I pulled in a commit I did an hour ago and at least got the page back to normal. I don't even want to imagine what devs did before the days of source control. D:
Tomorrow will be spent learning how to better follow closing </div> tags. :(4
That moment, in a meeting when you are trying to show a technical flaw in a manager idea... And suddenly you have a déjà vu moment from the "The Expert" comic sketch...
So first time here seems awesome I'm an aspiring cyber security expert I know very basic c++ and I'm looking for people to talk to about what I should be doing11
Starting a new job on Thursday after 2 years as software engineer at a different company. I feel like a know no transferable (language) skills; I was mostly "the expert" of the framework at the previous company and now feel like I'm starting from scratch.
How do you handle starting a new position? Do you prepare yourself or just go and see? Am I overthinking?4
A few weeks ago I posted about attempting to learn vim. It was hard to get started, but holy shit I'm glad I stuck with it.
I'm by no means an expert(pretty far from it), but I'm trying to learn new commands to use each day. I actually look forward to opening up my terminal and typing. I can say that in a few short weeks, I already feel faster than in my old text editor.
Oh, and tmux is awesome too!9
Sorry to break your heart but if u have 3yrs of expert here is no way you are a senior software engineer, no matter how good you are4
Reading all these hacking stories has made me nervous that my server isn't protected enough.
I've disabled password login and setup SSH keys which as far as I know is a big step in the right direction.
Is it enough? What more should I do?
In case you can't tell, I'm no expert in server adminy stuff 😛9
Attended a game workshop session by Mark Skaggs, creator of Farmville. At one point he asked all the programmers to raise their hands. I love to code even though i aint an expert in backend db related code. I raised my hand. Then he asked all the designers to raise their hand. I love to graphic design as a hobby even though i aint an artist. I raised my hand again.
He noticed and said "Interesting..."
It made me question which trade i should focus more on. I still have years ahead to master them but should i give up one for the other?
Would be cool to hear your thoughts on this!4
No racist but most of the self-claimed expert freelance programmers from India really pissed me off! Their resume has one common pattern, many of them are expert in more than 5 languages.6
I am not a security expert, but when i was working on downloading youtube videos directly from googlevideos.com server, found out there was some security issue that allows to manipulate login requests.
Reported to google.
Let's see how it goes.2
We were building a website using angular 1. We were collaborating with some devs from outside our firm. At some point one of the devs(which was supposed to be a front end expert) had the brilliant idea to migrate to a never version of angular. He made the changes and fucked up all the controllers and functionalities and then he just disappeared. My team worked for 2 weeks to fix his mess.
Dude do you even know the definition of refactoring? 😤4
Can anyone suggest good book for learning how an os works
Working of microprocessor
book for complete software development form noob to expert8
I'm not there yet, but hopefully, someday, I'll be an expert in making clean, maintainable code. I want others to look at it and say, "ah, I get it" without staring at it for a long time.2
When your bosses insist on using managed services for devops for their "expert support," but all their support can do is make superficial observations and send you the first link on Google for your problem... 😩😩😩
i am not a SQL expert, but i can do what i need to do in order to be considered a full stack dev
the syntax i have to learn was deprecated before i was even born
So now I walk around like, "bro do you even know how to pass a callback?" 😏
Suppossing that you're a very capable professional my advice is to NOT UNDERESTIMATE YOU. There are a lot of crappy programmers that feels like an expert because they did a hello world.
This movie is so recognizable: "The Expert". Really, a must see for every IT related consultant out there. Not once, I have felt exactly like this guy: https://m.youtube.com/watch/...7
Today on NPR leading expert of computer science at some university said "once you're past the firewall you own the system"
Yeah OK how exactly is this guy a professor?
This to good to be true: a script that removes all win10 bloatware and "telemetry" processes at once.sat as .bat, execute and your pc runs smooth...could there a catch? Expert advise welcome ;) https://hwinfo.com/misc/...3
somewhere deep inside me I know that despite I am programming in c and using linux from ages, still not an expert.2
Dev bootcamps? I went to one! Probably the best decision I ever made.
They aren't perfect, they're pricey, and they won't make you an expert, but it's a good way to expedite a new career, gives a good base knowledge to start out.
Tomorrow I'll write an exam in programming. I code since I was 11 years old and as soon as I got to that stupid programming class in school I felt bored. My teacher is an former encryption expert and thinks I'm too good for that stupid school. Well at least I am ready for the exam... That shit is so boring in class 😂2
Well my expert developer friend asked me why 'bugs' were called 'bugs'....
Personally I told him STFU cause he had to ask such an important question when my headphones were on, nevertheless 'bugs' are getting old now, let's just refer to them as 'problematic, chronic, death causing errors often caused by a stupid typo'3
"Oh, you only know 10% of how these algorithms work? You're now the subject matter expert, so you get to write the code"
Just because i can write computer programs does not mean I'm an expert in anything electrical from surround sound systems, TVs and any other kind of device!
MFW I, a junior dev who just started have to explain what sql injection is to a senior IT person... It's not like I'm an expert in the field, but a little bit of expertise would be nice2
- Get to expert level on all my preferred technologies
- Get to travel after graduation
- Strive for a better position at current company
- Contribute to interesting open-source projects
- Hope to not go insane in the process
Just got off a call with Mongo expert... Seems it's not good for large systems that need to be fast and scale...5
i am becoming our companies excel advanced expert. actually i am just better at internet searching than the rest of us. creating fully automated sheets makes me wonder what all of the office stuff learned during their appreticeship and how they can avoid using office properly while entering everything manually.
I just wrote my exam in IT class. I'm really happy with the fact that we use a computer for a few tasks. That's how the average IT expert works. Think-code-debug. It's practically impossible to write a Java program on paper without mistakes.
Other than that I named my variables like
boolean iCanWriteNowWoohoooo = false;
It didn't work 100% in the end but I hope to still get a decent grade.1
Joining a project in the middle and everyone starts looking up to you, cause when you manager introduced you to the whole team he said we have an expert with us😏
The product owner, cum our solutions architect is dumb.
It takes him ages to explain one shit.
Also, he is an expert on triggering useless chaos and panic, thanks to his innate abilities to misinterpret shit.
He thinks everything should happen at 3×10^8 m/s.3
I don't like how I develop our apps right now. My team leader said that the UI of the App, we are developing, only our UI/UX expert makes decision on how our app will look like. No developer must interfere. It's like shut up and do this. It's practically insane!6
I think it was very useful for developing soft skills like time management, teamwork, dealing with failures, the willingness to learn and how to approach a problem, etc.
It's not about learning a technology or programming language super good and be the C++ or Web expert after finishing your degree. It's about self organization and problem solving IMO.
Not a js expert. I'm trying to learn a new js framework so I'm stuck between angular and react. I'm a Django dev, so I'll be mostly using this framework in my Django apps. Which one should I learn? I'm migrating from jquery so please don't be harsh at me 😅8
There is a Facebook group I’m a part of called “ReactJS Expert Community” and I can tell you it’s filled with anything but experts. Someone just posted on it asking what the difference between Axios and async/ await is. The only reason I’m part of this group is so I can feel good about myself when I screw up while coding xP
To keep the search results of a self build webshop after browsing and returning after searching, my client had "the solution" to make the product page picture-in-picture. He's a self acclaimed tech and seo expert.
In the end I solved it with pushstates1
I fixed one problem we had at work with SSL over a year ago. Since then, whenever anyone has any problem vaguely to do with SSL, they come to me. The "expert". So I guess I'd like to become what I'm already perceived as... SSLman1
At PyCon Hyderabad 2018, I realised you don't have to be an expert to present a talk and most people do essays instead of questions.2
Why do I keep opening all this shit that has been signed off by an expert yet is completely wrong everytime?!
Why the carrot did people keep asking me about their hacked account? I'm only a programmer, not a social media expert.4
So we got this new teacher last year. He is a decent programmer but has never made anything using C#.
When he had to start teaching it to the first year students he wanted to practice.
He made 1 cli program that only used 1 class besides main and that wasn't even used properly.
His words after he was finished: "I'm now a C# expert"
What!? No you're not! Why don't you just take the student course so you know what you have to teach next week!?
A video that a workmate sent me after receiving a client report this last week...have you ever felt like the expert in this short film? xD
I think I'm a good hackhands expert.
If there's something I don't understand, I pause the session, and I do my research.
If a client is learning, I'll pause whenever they have a question, and explain in depth so they get the concept.
But the asshole that I worked with today just didn't understand how debugging works. I try one fucking thing that doesn't immediately work (after I already identified the root of his problem), and, as I PAUSED and start adding debugging for him, he ends the session and leaves first a one star review saying nothing, and then a three star review saying "couldn't fix my problem"
Fuck that guy.
Being on second line support, I don't feel I need to say much else as I'm sure many of you know my pain right noe
My dream dev-power would be to have a prescient warning with a couple years advance on what's the next interesting AND money-raking technology, so I will be already an expert just at start and I could even get a job at the sponsor company.
Next week I’m going to install Openstack via TripleO on 12 physical nodes in another city far from mine.
My boss “sold me” as an expert, obviously.
I know Openstack, I love it, but I’ve never installed it yet.
This weeks are going to be tough 😅
Writing my master thesis at my company, theoretical computer science, doing fancy shit with scheduling rules. but am just a "working student".
Realized, that all my project member, also other colleagues, standing right behind me at a Whiteboard, discussing that part of the project I am the expert of, as this exactly is my topic.
They were asking very new team member about my topic, but they know nothing, just guessing how this could be.
Nobody did even think about asking me.
So I continued working on what they thought "nobody has knowledge about at all".
Recruiter emails and texts about client looking for someone doing the exact same job I am already doing but with emphasis on Excel skills.
I reply and provide a tailored CV and some relevant comments in the reply email. I’m expert with Excel and I am already doing everything they are looking for.
Don’t get selected for interview.
When a client’s website is about how he’s an expert at fixing his customers’ psychological problems, and he’s got those same problems and isn’t managing them well at all himself, you just
1. Build site.
2. Get check.
3. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to even if you really are curious.1
Why do my parents instantly forget anything they "learn" related to computers?! Like how my mom keeps forgetting how to do stuff in PowerPoint. And especially how she keeps forgetting that "I'm not a PowerPoint expert, I don't use it, and I would have to read and try some buttons just like she should do."1
When this video (The Expert sketch) became my reality....so many times 😥
I once had a team member who was a self proclaimed technology expert. He was even interviewed on national TV for his opinions on telecoms, net neutrality and the ITC sector in our humble island.
this guy, for several months, probably to this day, cannot figure out how to set his password for his company Gmail account. he could never figure how to use Google drive, docs or any of the most basic tools.
he has no training in any development practices or languages. he did history in college and didn't even finish, but.....somehow he was able to watch half of an HTML tutorial online and then land himself a remote web dev job earning $45 USD/hr!!!!! i still dont know how he did that.
I'm am three parts upset, one part in awe of how far he has gotten just by talking to people.4
At what point are you an expert in C++?
Herb Sutter's talk tilted "Back to Basics" (available on YouTube) contains the message "it's easy to forget that you're an expert" in the context of writing code that utilizes the latest complicated features of a language to squeeze out the last drop of performance.
So what makes someone an expert? Is it just writing production code? Is it groking the entire panel presented by a standards committee member? Is it contributing to the STL? Is it when you can write your own compiler while blindfolded and juggling rubber duckies in under 60 seconds?
What makes a person an expert in any language, for that matter?7
"The critical distinction between a craftsman and an expert is what happens after a sufficient level of expertise has been achieved. The expert will do everything she can to remain wedded to a single context, narrowing the scope of her learning, her practice, and her projects. The craftsman has the courage and humility to set aside her expertise and pick up an unfamiliar technology or learn a new domain." - Dave Hoover7
Not a rant but in need of some help. I'm not a WordPress expert here, more of a .Net kind of guy.
Long story short is anyone willing to help solve a php problem? Deals with form submission and multi images in a form...2
I suggest at our retro that other teams have skills in languages and frameworks that we have only just started using, and that we practically just make it up as we go along and then keep making changes as we realise things suck. Why not bring a real expert in from another team for 1 or 2 days to rapidly improve our knowledge?
15 people in the room, every single one of them: "no that's stupid. Why would you even do that?"
Really? Am I the retarded one?3
I think I'm becoming an expert in alt aramaic.
Maybe hebrew. Or galic.
All languages would make more sense to me - although I don't know them - than TFS errors, C Sharp compiler errors or anything else coming from this vomitting, miserere suffering pile of garbage....
Hate. Is too nice....
Seriously, who invented this and thought it would make sense?4
say you're thinking about starting a new project, you have the basics but not really expert in all the aspects required by the project and decided to open source it. how would you get the project more visibility which means more people involved ?4
Hi. I stumbled upon this Kickstarter project: https://kickstarter.com/projects/...
Is it worth it or is it just a waste of money?
I am a quite of a lurker, but from the posts I read @linuxxx should be the expert on this subject (I mean no offense to any other devRanter and I apologize if you felt unappreciated by what what I wrote).
Looking forward to your replies.
Thanks for your time.10
That moment when you explain to your manager what the term "full-stack" means and next thing you know you've gone from being a "backend c#" to azure migration expert/dba/designer/api architect/network engineer/php wordpress developer... let's go back to when you'd never heard of full-stack
Is there anyone here who is expert in Microsoft Sql server. Am getting error while connecting to local database.8
So about a big problem I had earlier in the two last weeks, we were waiting for the expert of the team we work with if they have any idea. But we had to wait for him to get back from their one-week break.
We asked them about it
They have no clue
So I have this "idea", you know how normally most sites have the usual backend functionality, like profile, profile edit, CRUD of some thing... Well I was wondering if there is not a way to make it "granular" kind of like models that can be reused by the backend with a noSQL approach... That if selected for a site it will implement it without too much hassle... I'm not an expert here so pardon any incorrect terms... Not sure if I'm being clear insl my question... Any suggestions welcome, I don't mind researching any suggestions or guidance from someone who has accomplished this.6
Old but gold. The Expert sketch A.K.A. how it feels to be a developer during a project meeting. https://youtube.com/watch/...
Can you avoid doing work related stuff in the evenings? I mean, if you have a nice job which is also the same as your hobby...you easily end up fiddeling with stuff that can be useful at work at some point. But you won't get paid for the fiddeling at home really. Unless it makes you look like a really fast learner/expert all the time at work but you have spent insane amount of hours off work to reach that status...hmm...so in the end, you will get a raise from your boss (but in reality you probably don't).
Then you have these people who put no effort in anything and get paid more because of their honorable age and their bosses are younger and suffers some complexes because of that.4
"i encourage you to take these traning. the trend now is to be multi-skilled. be the jack of all trades!"
How do you respond if someone called themselves EXPERT but you know that his level of programming knowledge is PAR with you?🤔7
Any Vue expert here?
I just want to publish a vue.js component on npm.
I know how to publish it, but I was wondering I have to structure the vue component package.
I read (almost)everything about it, but I couldn't find anything clear.3
My last days at work before changing job. I am an angular expert, and I have contributed to build the first angular enterprise project for my business; during my last 20 days you know what I am doing? Maintenance on a pretty old GWT project that nobody wants to care...1
iOS/native app devs!
How usual it is for your apps to differ from iOS UI guidelines? Our lead dev always throws a fit when he has to implement custom stuff, but I see popular games “shit all over” these guidelines all the time and do very well in popularity.
As I’m no expert, please tell me if it is generally accepted to not follow these iOS rules / use premade controls 100% of the time, so I know what’s up. Thank you.2
When I get a code review by my self-proclaimed expert colleague suggesting a change that ends up breaking the feature, I just implement that spaghetti code and let the testers know I'm not to blame.
Fellow ranters, what are your thoughts on if an developer should strive to be an expert on a single language/skill (deep knowledge) vs knowing a little about everything (wide knowledge)?7
Never proclaim to be an expert even if you become really proficient in your field. There will always be someone who has read a white paper that you haven't that will shoot you down.
Needing some career advice.
Hey guys I'm 21 years old and currently on my third year studying Information Systems. For the past two I've been working either on internships or freelancing, at this time I've worked on around 10 projects, some for big companies. During that time I managed to get experience on many languages and tools and although I'm no expert on any, I've gained confidence to approach problems better, analyze them and project solutions.
Right now I'm thinking about searching for a remote job, as I live in Brazil and salaries here are not good.
Any advice on getting a job?2
Moral dilemma :
You inharit a task from your team expert (big ego there) he estimated this before sprint as hard 10 days (with overtime).
You have finished it in a very relaxed 4 days (I agree a lot of code was written but that's life).
Now there is the dillma :
If you declare it done by this time you are the rockstar but you getting a very influencing enemy you made him look like a fool...
If you wait do a psaudo work for the remaining time . It's just laying.. And there is 50% your cover will be blown....
What would you do?5
Security expert advices over security is like a priest preaching about the way of life. Both of them tend to same thing that it would protect from `evil`
When a professor asks an expert system of you, but then when u present the design of it he demands it to be dumbed down cause "it is only for learning purposes", and to top it he adds "I don't want you to make a real expert system"......... Note the system must be built based on rules and knowledge and be done only in prolog. The subject is AI 2, we should be learning something better.....4
I'm spending my weekend reading "Node.js Design Patterns - 2nd Edition". Remember the good old days when a language was just language instead of a constantly moving target that wipes out any prior knowledge?2
Any Fiverr expert could help me please, I have added new gigs to my account and the impressions and clicks are increasing everyday but I've got no orders for 2 weeks. It's quite strange to me.2
Is there any way to become a security expert form online courses and get an average salary job staying at home? Need to know. Thanks
This year I'll join college and opt for BCA. But i want to take a step towards future. How can i learn quantum-focused programing language like Q# and become expert and write programs in it? Also, any career advice is appreciated. I'm just the beginner but i liked coding very much in my high school and i want to be a software developer in future.
My first session at Hackhands as an Expert. I feel proud of me and my mentee left very satisfied with my help!
Im pretty excited about this, anyone else here is also a Hackhands Expert?