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Search - "douchebag me"
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Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
10:30-11:00
11:00-11:30
12:30-1:30 (adhoc)
1:30-2:30
4:30-5:00
6:00-6:20 (adhoc)
Today's (scheduled) meetings:
9:30-10:00
11:00-12:00
12:30-1:15
1:30-2:30
Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...
Fucking hell.
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)
Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?28 -
The strangest place I've ever coded... I woudn't say it was the strangest, but definitely the least expected?
The hospital's recovery room after my second child.
I was working at/in Hell at the time (see previous rants concerning API Guy and the asshole salesman CEO). Said salesman douchebag ceo bossman had no recollection of me being expecting, going to the hospital, or even why I was there (and if he did, he wouldn't have cared at all). He still insisted I work on his shit features because they were so important for his ever-so-important client and their new signups that they were going to do anyway. I loathe him so fucking much.
Anyway, the feature in question was pretty tiny: during the new client onboarding process, if the client came from a specific affiliate link, the frontpage should change to reflect that affiliate's branding -- different background, a custom header, etc. It was pretty easy to do, though I made certain he didn't know that. During an hour while everyone else was asleep (and while I wasn't passing out from exhaustion), I pulled out my macbook air and built his stupid feature next to my hours-hold newborn.
Did I get any appreciation for that? Sure! He showed appreciation by not yelling at me for a few days. But only because he thought the feature was difficult and that I got it done quickly, not because anything else was difficult. Asshole.
Yes, I told him several times before and several times more afterward. I don't know what goes though his head or how it even works, but it didn't seem like a big deal to him, and he kept forgetting, or maybe he just pretended to listen like he always did. Fucking asshole apparently never heard of maternity leave. I could rant and swear and curse and fume and rage about him for years 🤬 I can't believe I was so excited when I netted that job.
But anyway, building the feature was actually kind of relaxing. I organized and wrote the entire project myself, so working with it was a pleasure, and it was an easy change that I could abstract nicely and cleanly. I totally didn't mind doing it, and actually kind of enjoyed it. I just hated who I was doing it for, and that he didn't fucking care. Used and abused? absolutely. I hope he dies in the most painful, gruesome way possible. Spaghettification might not even be awful enough6 -
Consumers ruined software development and we the developers have little to no chance of changing it.
Recently I read a great blog post by someone called Nikita, the blog post talks mostly about the lack of efficiency and waste of resources modern software has and even tho I agree with the sentiment I don't agree with some things.
First of all the way the author compares software engineering to mechanical, civil and aeroespacial engineering is flawed, why? Because they all directly impact the average consumer more than laggy chrome.
Do you know why car engines have reached such high efficiency numbers? Gas prices keep increasing, why is building a skyscraper better, cheaper and safer than before? Consumers want cheaper and safer buildings, why are airplanes so carefully engineered? Consumers want safer and cheaper flights.
Wanna know what the average software consumer wants? Shiny "beautiful" software that is either dirt ship or free and does what it needs to. The difference between our end product is that average consumers DON'T see the end product, they just experience the light, intuitive experience we are demanded to provide! It's not for nothing that the stereotype of "wizard" still exists, for the average folk magic and electricity makes their devices function and we are to blame, we did our jobs TOO well!
Don't get me wrong, I am about to become a software engineer and efficient, elegant, quality code is the second best eye candy next to a 21yo LA model. BUT dirt cheap software doesn't mean quality software, software developed in a hurry is not quality software and that's what douchebag bosses and consumers demand! They want it cheap, they want it shiny and they wanted it yesterday!
Just look at where the actual effort is going, devs focus on delivering half baked solutions on time just to "harden" the software later and I don't blame them, complete, quality, efficient solutions take time and effort and that costs money, money companies and users don't want to invest most of the time. Who gets to worry about efficiency and ms speed gains? Big ass companies where every second counts because it directly affects their bottom line.
People don't give a shit and it sucks but they forfeit the right to complain the moment they start screaming about the buttons not glaring when hovered upon rather than the 60sec bootup, actual efforts to make quality software are made on people's own time or time critical projects.
You put up a nice example with the python tweet snippet, you have a python script that runs everyday and takes 1.6 seconds, what if I told you I'll pay you 50 cents for you to translate it to Rust and it takes you 6 hours or better what if you do it for free?
The answer to that sort of questions is given every day when "enganeers" across the lake claim to make you an Uber app for 100 bucks in 5 days, people just don't care, we do and that's why developers often end up with the fancy stuff and creating startups from the ground up, they put in the effort and they are compensated for it.
I agree things will get better, things are getting better and we are working to make programs and systems more efficient (specially in the Open Source community or high end Tech companies) but unless consumers and university teachers change their mindset not much can be done about the regular folk.
For now my mother doesn't care if her Android phone takes too much time to turn on as long as it runs Candy Crush just fine. On my part I'll keep programming the best I can, optimizing the best I can for my own projects and others because that's just how I roll, but if I'm hungry I won't hesitate to give you the performance you pay for.
Source:
http://tonsky.me/blog/...13 -
!dev
My toxic father. Seriously man. It's my 4th day of learning to drive with an instructor. He sits besides and never knew how to drive. I think I am driving good wrt to being very new in it. He thinks just because I slow myself down on the road and cannot take a turn properly, let me say it again, on the 4th day of driving a manual car, he thinks I can never drive. What a fucking douchebag. What a fucking coward, impatient human says that. I am in rage because now I'm like 27, but in my childhood he was at his worst behaviour. That's why I was always scared of doing complex things, I stick with easy because I will make no mistakes. He has fucking no right in being proud of me. He's so fucking bad, I hate him. But more than hating him I want to find a way not to give a fuck about his fucking small discouraging shameful opinions. Fucker cannot do anything by himself. He's the most messed up fucking person I have ever seen. And oh god I fucking resent this guy.
I should start calling him a fucking retard that way I can devalue him as a person. I could never thought that I will think about a person like this but this retard left me no choice.
The thing is even a person is a retard I will try to understand them so give me a good word that just devalues a person instantly.14 -
A half answer on SO gives me a pointer to a possible solution. Using that pointer, I actually find an answer and it's quite involved. So to help others with the same question, I edit the answer to complete it with the additional steps. No edits to the answer involved, just a few additional steps.
😡 The answer author comments that they appreciate the info, but they reject my edit so their answer isn't changed!
What a douchebag.2 -
It's almost midnight here and I just realized something. I just realized that none of my college friends have contacted me in almost a year now... Like none of them. They hang out every weekend near the college I cannot coz im working and it has never occurred to them that "hey there's this guy that we we were together for four years with , I wonder what he's doing how's he holding up" and I wasn't even an asshole or a douchebag or something I guess I just vaporizer from their memories like a volatile liquid.
I also feel like my boss gives me nearly impossible tasks so that I fail like "design these two complete web applications in three months while you do your actual job of teaching people java for 8 hrs a day"
And now here I am at midnight sitting curled up in the corner of my bed like a paranoid chipmunk that drank a pot full of dark coffee, trying to talk to this random bunch of people from random places in the world who are doing random shit right now. And the worst part is I chose this ... I wanted this I wanted to make a difference. I didn't want to be just a cog in a machine.
If I die right now how many people would cry? I ask myself that a lot it's never more than ten. This is probably creeping u out right now so I'll probably end this.
Rest assured six hrs from now I will put my mask back on. a mask of a happy, mildly funny, averagely successfully geek, until my next date with sadness3 -
Last night my Kindle got frozen and failed to respond to the touches, so I hard reseted it by physical power button. After a dozen of minutes of unresponsiveness, it finally restarted. Some light of hope sparked in me when I could see the silhouette of the lovely boy sitting under a tree, and soon enough the starting progress bar appeared and just stopped right before its end. I kept restarting the device over and over again and the starting progress bar has never reached its dest. The mtfk boy sitting under the tree grew up and becomes a douchebag, and still I can't do a thing with my Kindle. I had nothing to do with it now, and in a moment of having nothing to do, I put it out of its case, and even made a big scratch in the top left corner. Just want to smash it right away!14
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Now I feel a bit bad about the guy I ranted about before, who did all the talk but none of the work. I started to tell my colleagues and even my boss about my impression. And my boss concurred, was actually so fed up with him that he confronted him...
Later on turned out he was the only one able to repair our mangled git history. Dunno how it'll pan out. The guy is also our 'scrum master'. Maybe doesn't always have to be love, peace and harmony. Time to explore our darker sides and yank out some motherfucking code.1 -
So me and some colleagues joined a hackathon. We already agreed on our project architecture, UI design, and features to build and showcase. Halfway through development new features kept getting added without my inputs, I said to myself it's ok maybe they're just small insertions. But nope, they kept breaking my CSS and UI design and kept causing merge issues on our repo because, well, no one could seem to agree on the project scope. The last straw was, with a couple of hours left, someone went and added new screens and changed the application flow entirely, which entailed some rather nasty rework of my code to fix. Fuck that, I decided to just stop and let them sort the mess.
When it was our turn to present our project, the fucking cunts assumed I would do all the talking - even if they never sent over the slides they put together. Why the fuck am I going to present something drastically different from the initial, agreed-upon scope? I told them to do it themselves and I remained silent throughout the entire debacle.
Of course, we lost. But I wasn't surprised. The guys who presented kept on contradicting each other and were not unified in their vision. I'm never teaming up with them ever again. Fucking asshole douchebag fucks. -
Can somebody please tell me What is wrong with Microsoft and their broken piece of shit software?! (sorry to any Microsoft devs, if you read this). How the hell is it that their fucking installer and system repair features is this fucking useless? "Sorry, can't install on disk 0,cause the disk is in gpt format" NO SHIT, you were the fucking asshole who formatted it from the begining. Douchebag.10
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I think karma is doing me a favor today 😍
So I started to work fir my current company early January 2017, on a project I'm still currently working on (well, now discussions are made around the next sprint, so I'm working on something else but you get the spirit)
We had the most PAIN-IN-THE-ASS-ish client I ever met. Dude gives schemas of what a page should look like (no real visual model but well things were pretty clear so there weren't big problems around).
The client was the kind of dude that could send these models, let us work on them then opening a fuck-ton of tickets, ranting about how the elements' display isn't good. Then we have to make remember him that he gave us nothing else, and he agreed on the functional specifications. And this for two WHOLE fucking years
Today, the project director came by our office and casually sat down next to me to tell me that the dude have been fired by his company for being a huge douchebag, blocking communication between us and simply being useless.
The sun is shining again 😍😍 -
Me 🤗"Since you know the domain far better than me, can I ask you to help me understand if I managed to cover all the edge cases with these UNIT TESTS?
😒" no no no, you don't need to check for those cases, you already do that in your code"
🤗 "I'm sorry, I must have explained myself badly. I have written these UNIT TESTS exactly to ... TEST if those CHECKS in my code work and what I need is you to tell me if there are additional cases ..."
😫"but you don't need to!!! You already have that logic in your code"
😐😵☠ 🦍💊🔫🔪"you know what? I'm gonna give them a second look. Thanks"
And then I moonwalked out of the room -
Douchebag coworker. Asked me how my work trip went (big client demo) and asked if anything that I was "complaining and whining" about went poorly. Mind you I was bitching about having to clean up HIS SHIT because he completely dropped the ball on the project. I had to go in and finish or fix all of the things he didn't do or did super poorly. I literally just told him to fuck off and stopped talking to him.1
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I'm pretty familiar with SQL. It used to scare me, but now, years on, I'm super comfortable with it, and I don't really get why anyone would need anything else, generally speaking. Having said that, just tried to play with mongodb for a minute, and holy shit, that is some weird, weird stuff. I read all of the marketing fluff on the site, but I still am at a loss. Is it just that people don't want to be bothered to learn SQL syntax or use an ORM, or make a REST API, so they went off and created a weird JSON thing?
Not trying to be a douchebag, not trying to criticize. I honestly do not get it. Why does this exist?10 -
I'm working on my own smarthome project (how rare nowdays...:) ). I'm using microsoft's git repo. I'm not make my project open source, not because I'm a douchebag, but because I'm a very bad coder. My biggest fear is not the fact, that it would be commented as wtf is this code, but receiving pull requests from pros and I wouldn't even understand their code.
This is my "training" project (python, flask, apscheduler, sqlalchemy, bootstrap2, mqtt, micropython)
I'm thinking to make it public without accepting external pulls, just for me to learn more.
I'm just wondering your thoughts on this.
Thoughts?1 -
include ::rant
rant::newentry {'new-job-rant' :
ensure => latest,
location => goverment-employment-office-HQ,
job => DevOps,
content => {'
So, i've been at my new job for some time now, almost two weeks (hurray!) but boy oh boy, what a job it is!
I'm working at a goverment office charged with helping the unemployed to get a job or a new education course. I'm hored as re-enforcements for their DevOps team. I get my pay, easy transportation home<->office, coffe is adequate in quality and quantity, so no complaints there...
But the actual job is a FUCKING MENTAL CLUSTERFUCKS OF WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MULTIPLIED BY TEN TO THE POWER OF GOOGOL!
A few items that make my blood boil to new temperature records defying medical science:
* devs refuse to use linting, say the builder will catch it when there is an error, never look at the builder error logs
* (puppet) modules have NO TESTS
* (puppet) modules get included in several git repo's as submodules, in turn they are part of a git repo, in turn they are replicated to several puppet masters, and they differentiate the environment by bash scripts... R10K or code manager? never heard of it.
* Me cleaning up code, commit, gets accepted, some douchebag checks out code, reverts it back to the point where linting tools generate 50+ lines of warnings, complains to ME his code doesnt work! (Seriously, bitch? Serously?) , explain to that person what linting does, that persons hears the bells ring on the other end of the galaxy, refuses to use it.
* Deployment day arrives (today) -> tasks are set up on an excel sheet (on google docs) , totally out of sync with what really must be done -> something breaks, spend 30 minutes finding out who is to blame, the whole deploy train stops, find out it's a syntax error, ... waiting for person to change that since that person can only access it...
...
the list goes on and on and on. And did you expect to ahve any docs or guidelines? NO , as if docs are something for the luxurious and leisurely people having "time" to write it...
I can use another coffee... hopefully i wake up from this nightmare at my 15th cup...
},
require => [Class['::coffee'], Class['::auxiliary_brain'], Class['::brain_unfuck_tools'],],
}1 -
Fuck all of that ego shit, that lil boys club garbage. Fucking douchebag. Don't project your insecurities on me you fucking pissbaby. I gladly invite you to eat my great pumpkin, dumptruck-sized, volumptuous ass. I hope god sends millions of ants after you and they eat you slowly. Why cant you just be nice to others.9
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see now this is the f-ing shit that pisses me off.
There is this project named dain.
One time I made a project that dropped frames using opencv or ffmpeg i can't remember, creating a test output file and ran them through dain to benchmark it for myself.
alot of things just like this actually I tended to do to get a better sense. Its the reason I abandoned the NN since I think I have a feel for how to design them for certain tasks and remember that with my 'successes' i was still really far off from where i'd like to be.
additionally there are other kinds of ml that interest me more that I am not seeing too much on... point is
I worked all this crap out
got wavenet working to check on it YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS ago and because the dirty fucks out west kept stealing my stuff, i end up back at square one waiting for some douchebag to steal my stuff again who isn't even going to do anything but pretend he's straight or pretend everything has some faggot meaning. its very annoying. why do these people live this way again ?3 -
Tinder is not the same as it was 4 years ago. Wtf is this bullshit. I see some girl who looks hot then before swiping right i open the bio and it says TRANS 🏳️⚧️
Fjcm off
F7cking MENTALLY ILL handicapped♿️♿️♿️ Sick Fucking motherfuxkers
Why is this even a thing
I never knew trannies exist in my country
I thought we were not like america
This plague seems to be spreading everywhere now
Whoever legalized transgender stuff should get the worst possible execution and torture as a death sentence
Aside from this bullshit i cant fucking tell if im being catfished, chatting with an AI bot, or wasting my fucking time on some other possible fucking way--because who the fuck says they want to meet me, text me on my personal number, and 1 day later block me, unmatch me and never reply again for absolutely NO reason????
Fucking whores
But
It is expected, and from my personal experience years ago, that tinder is used only by mentally challenged people
That sounds ironic but let me cook
I dont use tinder out of boredom or to troll, i delete it as soon as i find someone. The app is cancer. I dont need it unless i need to find someone else, fast and easy. Tinder saves time to find someone and easier to break the ice especially for an introvert like me. While you got some people who literally use tinder out of fun! Several of them told me they're not looking to get fucked or find a bf, they just use tinder for fun. What the fuck are you then looking on tinder? To find someone to go to the church and pray to God??
Smh
I even experimented. I split my personalities in 2:
- 1 being a rude fuckboy douchebag who directly asks them to give me pussy
- 1 being a normal guy asking them out for a drink and talk
Can you guess the results?
Of course the fucking douchebag type of personality got more pussy! I got replies by being a fuckboy, even their phone numbers, 4+ of them in just 1 day, while the "take you out for a drink" guy got ghosted, no fucking pussy, slow replies and unmatches!
Of course the fuckboy personality also got backlash, some of them unmatched me but lots of them didnt. While the "coffee guy" got nothing.
Fuckboy got at least 70% success rate
Coffee guy got 0% success rate
And both are the same person, me, b2plane
That's tinder in 1 paragraph summarized6