If you, as a product manager, can't give me requirements on a specific ask, how in the hell do you expect me to deliver anything? "Move thing from system A to system B" is not a fucking requirement.

Not ONLY does the new code a coworker wrote straight up not work (and they somehow managed to merge it to master) but it also broke an entirely unrelated endpoint due to an abstraction they tried to make. Very clear they didn't even run their code at all.

I don't know who this "you" guy is on all of these git blames, but he's a real asshole for writing all of these bugs.

Coworker: "can you help me with this thing?"
Me: "sure, what have you tried so far"
Them: "nothing yet"

Hdhajsgrbeiry JUST TRY _SOMETHING_ AT LEAST BEFORE ASKING FOR HELP.

It's literally your job to solve problems, not get other people to solve them for you.

Asking for help if you don't understand something is one thing, but constantly trying to get people to show you exact examples is not doing your job.

This has been a chronic problem with one of our devs and despite advising them multiple times on it, it continues to happen.

I love when devs bitch about the size of PRs on a very standard sized one. They're all related changes that can't be broken up. Do you want the app to be broken between PRs? He spent more time bitching about the size of the diff and telling me how he does it better instead of just reviewing the code. A tip or an ask is one thing, this was a wall of text.

Oh and he still didn't approve the PR, which I know he looked at, and didn't leave any blocking comments.

Got hired for my UI knowledge, then I get stuck doing backend work since I started, while the mountain of UI work just continues to grow and they refuse to let me work on it instead of hiring more backend help. Cool cool cool cool.

If you're filling a ticket on a team, make sure it includes EVERYTHING that is needed to complete the ticket so anyone on your team can complete it, not just the people with institutional knowledge.

As a junior developer, your primary goal should be to learn and absorb as much as you can, not to try to make a name for yourself. It's all too common that I see devs fresh out of college with this amazing gung ho attitude that quickly devolves into needing to feel like the smartest person in the room.
This leads to an unnaturally inflated ego, a feeling of self importance, and blocks you from truly understanding what is going on in the stack in front of you.
That's not to say you can't try to take on difficult tasks, just be humble and ask for help when you need it, and don't make assumptions that might lead to rework later.
I would much rather you ask me a question then put up a PR that has wildly different assumptions because you didn't fully understand the acceptance criteria of a particular task.

tl;dr - sit down, shut up, do your job, learn what you can as fast as you can.

Sincerely,
A very fed up Senior Dev

Nothing like constantly having to spend 3-5 days of spin up on trying to help another team with their microservices because they have such a severe lack of documentation that I can't just follow a readme to get their projects running. Instead, I have to bug one of their developers to help me get it up and running (because they use non-standard project setups and dependency management), delaying things even more. No matter how much I scream that we need documentation no one makes it a priority.
Did I mention these are microservices written in Golang and I'm a front end developer? And I'm being made to work on back end tasks because we have a crazy high attrition rate and they won't back fill the back end positions.

I just had to convince another "senior" dev that Magic Numbers are bad. Her argument was that the API already knows the mapping so creating another mapping on the front end was overkill and not needed when you know the value you need to compare against.

After 2 years of being forced into writing PHP 5.5, we've finally convinced upper management to let us switch to C# instead. It's coming in a few weeks. Words cannot describe how much I hate this god awful language.... C#, save me my sweet, sweet, strictly typed goodness.

My current sprint is 381 points. FML.

That moment when you finally get to a point with a personal project that you can release a BIG feature that tons of people are asking for.

Dear PHP creators. Why did you think having "static" overriding "private" was a good idea? I get that you won't have instances of a static value but private should still take precedence.

I can't decide which editor I want to use. I am a die hard IntelliJ suite fan, but want to try something else just for the sake of experience. I'm currently trying VSCode. While I like it, I can't find any DocBlockr type plugins for PHP, only for JS.

I recently went from being a java/python web developer to a PHP firmware developer. I've never written in PHP before and I keep typing $("# when I go to type a variable reference. jQuery has made this transition annoying to say the least =P

Went from a web developer (mostly front end, moderate back end experience) to now being a firmware developer for a backup product. *head explodes*

PM: "Did you ever push changes for this one feature?" Me: "No. I haven't had time to even look at it. Everyone wants me to do stuff before my last day." PM: "okay so is it done yet or not?". If i haven't looked at it, if it's not pushed, HOW THE HELL WOULD IT BE DONE?!

Just found a service method that saves an entity that isn't related to that service, that returns a ModelAndView object. I think my brain just broke. 1) Single Responsibility Principal. Do not save ObjectB in ObjectAService. 2) Services should not be aware of your view context. That's what controllers are for. Do not return a ModelAndView from a service method.

Not code related by my boss has verbally harassed me for the past two business days (I recently put in notice that I'm leaving). End of the week cannot come fast enough. And no, we have no HR, yes he's the owner, no it's not worth fighting him for.

How I know I'm a nerd: I left a party to come home to work on an app. For my LARP group.

!rant

Boss challenged me to get something done before a demo and he'd give me tomorrow off paid. I completed the task on the time and at the end of the day told him I was leaving for another position. He was totally calm, cool, professional and still gave me tomorrow off paid. I don't know how that happened. Life is good.

PM blindly puts user requests into JIRA as tasks to complete without thinking through their relevancy. Some of these are straight up not possible or don't make any damn sense. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ just a constant reminder how great it will be when I leave here at the end of the month.

Just got word. I start in two weeks. Reducing commute by an hour. Bigger team, more possibilities. I could not be happier.

About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.

I one sat through an hour and a half long meeting about how to have a meeting. I missed a deadline because it went over.

I started modding Garry's Mod back in the day. To this day I love Lua. Such a fun language.

My work just hired a project manager intern. With no one to work under. To be an actual project manager.

Nothing like a client bitching on the weekend that a promo code is broken on their site. Except it works just fine and they printed your physical materials with the wrong code to hand out. And they tested and verified it working with the correct code on QA. AND IN TWO SEPARATE FUCKING EMAILS

Looking through code, discovered a front end plugin wasn't activating right on a form input. Go look at the code, intern commented it out and wrote a comment saying "This didn't work and I didn't know how to fix it. So I turned it off." If you don't know, then ask. Don't leave it broken and not tell anyone! I am so glad this kid is gone. I really hope he doesn't come back after term.